Use a bidet, you uncultured swine.

>>966869
>>966888
Or at least finish off with baby wipes.

how do bike shorts feel to wear? do they ever go up your ass or do they stay comfy and in place? sounds somewhat restrictive

>>966869
>this pleb doesn't wash his ass

Sit on the broad part of the saddle, not on the narrow. Your asshole should never Touch your pants because your bones.

>>966899
>how do bike shorts feel to wear?
They feel great.
>do they ever go up your ass or do they stay comfy and in place?
Never did they rode up my buttcrack.
>sounds somewhat restrictive
How's having less fabric around you butt and dick restrictive?

how is your diet?

I notice my gut starts acting up when I start eating poorly or drinking heavily.

>he doesn't give himself an enema before the ride
there's 5-10 pounds of literal shit you can flush out of there

>>966869
This frustration once drove me to remove all hair from my ass crack, but then I learned the hard way what the purpose of that hair is.

>>966869
Do you have piles? Go get your ass checked. Piles prevent your butt to close properly and you may suffer from micro incontinence.

Had the same thing. Doc atrophied the piles, now everything is fine.

>>966869
Bidet you american piggo.

>>966937
>literal shit

God I love taking a nice, long huff of my musky bike shorts after a long ride

>>967900
I think that's what my issue is. Even though I have little body hair elsewhere, I have a huge forest between my cheeks (but none in my actual ass) and I think the hair must be holding shit particles that come off with the sweat and make my shorts/boxers smell a bit but I'm too afraid to shave the hair off since I have no clue how to

What happened to you after shaving,?

>>967900
I don't have any problems with my hairy ass, but sometimes I have problems with the hair on my balls, last ride a fucking hair fucked me and all I could do was rubbing against my saddle triying to move that pulling hair.

>>968462
>last ride a fucking hair fucked me

Well now you low what the girls you have sex with feel like

>>967900
What is the purpose of the hair?

>>968456
Absolutely do not shave it. The stubble with itch like nothing you've ever felt before, and the irritation will cause you to sweat or leak out your ass and it will smell awful.

how did you wipe?
front to back or back to front?

I go front to back, then back to front, then front to back one more time. Then to be extra clean I wrap my finger in toilet paper then insert and rotate. I just like to be really clean.

>>968488
You explained it yourself on the second reply.
Hair actually makes things move nicely, that's why you find it in body pits. (Like your arm pits.)
If your normally shave and never let it grow, or never have shaved before, you don't realize how much of a difference it makes.

File: SAUVAGE.jpg (355 KB, 1320x1616) Image search: [Google]

355 KB, 1320x1616

>>968484

>>966869

Proof that you're a literal piece of shit.

>>966899
Not restrictive at all. Whenever I've got lycra on I'm always surprised at how easy it is to get on the bike compared to when I'm in regular pants.

>>968494
Back to front gets shit in your vagina

File: 1421378503861.gif (223 KB, 350x340) Image search: [Google]

223 KB, 350x340

Shower every day and eat well

Shit+shower before work, then you won't have that issue you faggot

File: flanders.gif (227 KB, 240x374) Image search: [Google]

227 KB, 240x374

>>966899
>how do bike shorts feel to wear?

>>968940
My body does this 90% of the time. Sometimes once isn't enough though and it hits you again an hour later...

shit then shower master race

>>970094
then just get up an hour before you have to leave. do some pushups or situps or jumping jacks to get your body moving. then wait 15 minutes. then shit, then shower.

>>966869

enema, the only way to be sure.

>>968494

You just want an excuse to finger your asshole.

>>966869
Get wet wipes, it's like a shower for your ass.

For realsies though, they catch things that dry toilet paper leaves behind.