ITT: /mu/sical autism breakdowns
So, I brought my wife (ex) to lunch the other day when I was visiting my old haunt of Brooklyn. She is a little strange. Always biting the nails. You know that type. Well anyway, we sat down at this coffee shop because our favorite restaurant was all booked for lunch. I told her it was either the coffee shop or lunch at my mom's house in New Jersey. She picked the former. We sat there in silence eating our muffins, coffee cake, and drinking lame herbal tea with a waitress who had fluorescent red hair and some nose ring. She was working on her bachelors degree at some random liberal arts school nobody has ever heard of. Those places. She'll get a degree and still be working at the coffee shop, and telling everyone else her music tastes are better than everyone elses. You know those types. Anyway, I asked the waitress what music she liked.
A giant smile like as if she was a 12 year old again when that good looking boy gives her a wink.
"Well everything."
I was not impressed.
"Everything really? Is that possible?"
"It can be, believe it or not, it's called the internet" She said in total art school arrogance.
"Oh really, so having instant access to music now constitutes having universal tastes?"
"Yes it does, apparently you missed the curb on that."
"Hold it! What artists do you like? Give me a top 5." I pounded the table, disturbing my ex- from her valium induced mellowness.
"Ummm....Fleet Foxes, Gogol Bordel, Animal Collective, LCD Soundsystem, Rise Against, and umm Flaming Lips....all unique and different"
>>60278882
I was floored by the utter garbage she spewed. She thought she was different. She thought she was unique with her Arts education, expensive designer hipster clothes, and all that fucking hair dye. I mean, she was a walking product of the corporations and she was simply oblivious to this. The MNCs had gotten her. They had given her a teenage lobotomy with a couple of credit cards. She was one of those trendy zombies walking all the streets of western cities. IT MADE ME SICK.
Almost immediately, my hand flung out of my bag, without a conscious thought, a cd of "Out to Lunch". I demanded that it be played and she would understand real diversity in taste. The hip girl initially refused and then I insisted this was a life changing album. She walked into the back and within minutes. "Hat and Beard" appeared over the coffee shop's sound system, rather than that John Mayer or that Italian guy from Mars being lazy about something. Bobby Hutcherson's vibe playing started to give me the dancing chills. My shoulders started to sway rhythmically back and forth. When Dolphy came in with his sax, I started to sway my head wildly and my hair turned into a mess. My browline glasses fell to the floor and the ghost of Dolphy had invaded my body again. I could see Dolphy hovering above me saying,
"Dance you motherfucker! This is your chance to show what being Out To Lunch is really about!" The ghost disappeared and he had possessed me.
>>60278882
i didnt read any of this. shut the fuck up
>>60278905
The shop crowd was silenced by the sheer power of this album. The hipster girl stood there and looked embarrassed. She said to me, "I might be fired for this."
I just got up and took the hand of the hipster. She pulled away with a look of disgust, "No, don't touch me"
I started to gyrate in the shop and my ex wife got up and left annoyed. Swagging my hips like Elvis back and forth. Kicking my feet up to the wild solos. Soon I lost control. My body to the end of "Hat and Beard" was swinging into the tables and patrons started to flee. The hipster girl was yelling something at me and then she went into a back room. It hit me that she would be disconnecting the music and so I chased her into the back. Her finger was about to press "Stop" and I tackled her to the ground. Some other dufus hipster guy - who wore probably the same plaid shirt that I wore in the 80's, and had a beard that Rutherford B. Hayes would be jealous of - jumped on top saying,
"Get off of her you asshole!"
Then I heard a voice---
"Call the police."
Before I knew it all these hipsters were pulling me away from the hipster girl. As I was pulled away, some hand pressed "eject", and I screamed "NOOOO! You fucking bastards! That's Eric Dolphy. This is real music."
The other female hipster who had dyed black hair , while wearing 70's gym shorts, a smiths t-shirt, and black converse said, with her finger holding the CD in the donut hole, "It's not. It's garbage"
I knocked her out with one punch.
>>60278927
Then I took the CD from her finger -- other hands tried to grab it away from me. The player was only a foot away, but it seemed to be miles away. To break the hold of the skinny hipsters. I literally fell on the CD Player and the table collapsed with several other people on top of me. I rolled on top of the 70's gym shorts hipster who was just opening her eyes, and she was out again. Before I knew it, several NYPD officers with batons and tasers drawn pulled me out of the mess. I was thrown in jail for the day and my ex bailed me out the next day . Anyway, amazingly charges were dropped after I wrote a compelling apology to the coffee shop promising to never return again, and undergo a psychiatric evaluation. It's kind of funny, since I'm a licensed social worker in Montreal, so therapy is kind of ironic.
What the crux of the story is that the power of this album can compel people to do many strange things, and a brawl at a coffee shop is one of them. That is why this is my all time favorite album. I lost the CD in that mess. It was probably crushed by a bunch of Urban Outfitter models,but no worries I bought it again.
Some may see this as a generational divide between older and younger hipsters, and how violent this divide can be. I honestly don't know about that, but I saw Sonic Youth and Swans, even before they were conceived.
Greatest Album ever made. It was great in 1988 when I first heard it and it still is.
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File: 11147162_476958662484419_(...).jpg (27 KB, 639x582)
27 KBo had fluorescent red hair and some nose ring. She was working on her bachelors degree at some random liberal arts school nobody has ever heard of. Those placeshe waitress what music she liked.
"Yes it does, apparently you missed the curb on that."
"Hold it! What artists do you like? Give me a top 5." I pounded the table, disturbing my ex- from her valium induced mellowness.
0278927
>>60278882 (OP)
I was for that Italian guy from Mars bei
>>60278882 (OP)
i didnt read a
About • Feedback • Legal • Contact
>Not playing the Yoshihide version of Out to Lunch
shigs m8
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"Hold it! What artists do you like? Give me a top 5." I pounded the table, disturbing my ex- from her valium induced mellowness.
0278927
>>60278882 (OP) (OP)
I was for that Italian guy from Mars bei
>>60278882 (OP) (OP)
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11/06/15 Janitor acc
>>60279047
>that Italian guy from Mars
what do you mean?
>>60279074
>>>60277434 (You)
>avant-garde shitposting
>>>/s4s/
>>60278882
Nobody even wears a choker with a cropped tank and trainers. Do you even hang out with people?
>>60278882
Eric, simply eric
10/10
gold star, OP. top notch work, honestly.
>>60279545
hi :^)
>>60278882
God my sides! Whata story OP!
>>60279514
I see this all the time at music festivals in southern California
>>60278882
>that pic
my bros gf minus the necklace
>>/trash/
"Hold it! What artists do you like? Give me a top 5." I pounded the table, disturbing my ex- from her valium induced mellowness.
0278927
>>60278882 (OP) (OP)
I was for that Italian guy from Mars bei
>>60278882 (OP) (OP)
i didnt read a
About • Feedback • Legal • Contact
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:32:02 No.60279022▶
>Not playing the Yoshihide version of Out to Lunch
shigs m8
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:33:27 No.60279047▶>>60279074
File: 1446817405504.gif (755 KB, 312x281)
755 KB
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>>60279569
cool thread op
>Please support 4chan by disabling your ad blocker on *.4chan.org/*, purchasing a self-serve ad, or buying a 4chan Pass.
>mfw
post yfw when
>>60278882
>>60278905
>>60278927
>>60280451
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:32:02 No.60279022▶
>Not playing the Yoshihide version of >>60278882 (OP) (OP) (OP)
th wrrst has yt to come.png
>>60280366
>SoCal
>full of nobodies
There's your problem.
>>60278941
Nice story but I got a maths exam in an hour.
Someone redpill me on maths.
"Hold it! What artists do you like? Give me a top 5." I pounded the table, disturbing my ex- from her valium induced mellowness.
0278927
>>60278882 (OP) (OP) (OP)
I was for that Italian guy from Mars bei
>>60278882 (OP) (OP) (OP)
i didnt read a
About • Feedback • Legal • Contact
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:32:02 No.60279022▶
>Not playing the Yoshihide version of Out to Lunch
shigs m8
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:33:27 No.60279047▶>>60279074
File: 1446817405504.gif (755 KB, 312x281)
755 KB
ttings] [Home]
4chan
/mu/ - Music
>>60279569
cool thread op
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)17:54:18 No.60280492▶
File: Robert_Oppenheimer_1946.jpg (1.05 MB, 1280x1598)
1.05 MB
>Please support 4chan by disabling your ad blocker on *.4chan.org/*, purchasing a self-serve ad, or buying a 4chan Pass.
>mfw
post yfw when
>>60278882 (OP)
>>60278905
>>60278927
>>
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)17:55:52 No.60280520▶
>>60280451
Anonymous 11/09/15(Mon)22:32:02 No.60279022▶
>Not playing the Yoshihide version of >>60278882 (OP) (OP) (OP) (OP)
th wrrst has yt to come.png
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>>60280775
worth it
At least she's not the type who asks total strangers about their musical taste, so she's got that over you at least.
