Music for grieving
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You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music
My dog turned 16 last week, going to have to put him to sleep sometime next week. I've never dealt with the death of anything I cared about, all I can do is cry. Please share music or anything that helps with these feelings, I've never felt like this before
I listened to Automatic For the People by REM last night, that helped a bit but it's very heavy, it made me cry a lot.
Please just post anything helpful I've never felt this before and I'm confused and sad
Pic is my dog Brutus snuggled for bed a couple months ago. Brutus I didn't know what love was until you began to die. I swear to try and make this last week the best of your life.
Animal Collective- Feels
>>64085726
I'll give this a listen, thanks
This picture is from the early 2000s I'd do anything to go back and hug that dog, I can hug him now but he just doesn't respond like he used to
>>64085501
That is a beautiful dog op. I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I had a dog a few years back and I had to put him down when he developed cancer. I haven't been able to get a dog since, and I don't want to be cringy or melodramatic, but I'm pretty sure that my depression developed when he passed away and hasn't gone away since.
Anyway, listen to Deathconciousness and read the small book that goes along with it. pic related is the preface to the book and I read it often since it numbs all the negative feelings associated with death temporarly.
>>64085874
Your words put me to tears, thank you for what you said.
You don't sound cringy or melodramatic at all, just empathetic.
I'll read this death consciousness thing. The concept of death is so foreign to me, up until last night I had assumed my dog would never die. It sounds so stupid but I just hadn't given it thought, and now it's hit me like a cement mixer.
This is brutus wearing my pyjamas sometime last year. I have no idea how he got in them, I got up from my computer to go to bed and he was sleeping in them
sufjan stevens- michigan
brings the feels so hard. we have a nice little urn with our dog and it feels like hes still around stay strong anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsZTQjsqiXI
Well, immediately the song Putting The Dog To Sleep by The Antlers comes to mind for the obvious reason of the title. Personally though I'd probably be listening to The Glow Pt. 2 and some atmospheric/depressive black metal artists such as Austere, Woods of Desolation, Saor, Xasthur, Heretoir. Maybe some I Am A Lake Of Burning Orchids too.
Grouper, Raum & Stars of the Lid for gentler stuff. The piece "You've Always Meant So Much To Me" by Wrekmeister Harmonies is very beautiful and might be good for you as well, I'd suggest checking it out.
>>64085874
Seconding this, fantastic album and though I haven't read the entire booklet I'd definitely recommend that too.
If you enjoy this album then you might like Giles Corey and Sun Devoured Earth.
Took him out in the sun today and he seemed to enjoy it. He looks sad in this picture but his tail was wagging for a bit which is getting more and more rare these days. He ran around the pool too, sort of. His legs don't work so well anymore but he tried
>>64086043
Aw, that's adorable.
Sorry to hear, sounds like he really means a lot to you. :(
>>64086056
Some of the songs off Illinois would be really great too, they just have a comforting feeling to them
>>64086143
Yeah, I'm 19 now, I got him when I was 3. I literally don't know life without him, the earliest memory I have is the day my grandparents came to our house and a puppy jumped out of the car door. I used to get off the school bus and he'd sprint up the driveway to meet me as soon as he heard the school bus.
>>64086056
Thank you for your words dude. I still don't know if I want his ashes or if I want to bury him.
Thank you to everyone, also. I know I sound sappy but I seriously just haven't dealt with these feelings before. I've been drinking all day to try and stop crying because I just don't know how to cope. I'm sober now but it's just hard. Listening to deathconsciousness now, it's just instrumentals right now but it's very soothing. Thank you thank you a million times.
Just seeing the words of people who care makes it sting much less
It's not specifically about losing a pet, but it's pretty damn sad. Make sure you read the lyrics on the band's site while you listen.
http://antlersmusic.com/lyrics/hospice/
>>64086303
I'm so, so sorry anon. My dog is getting up there in years too and I'm so afraid that I'll be in your shoes before long. I hope you and Brutus both find peace.
>>64086303
Ah man, I'm 20 and I've had my dog since I was 5. He doesn't have much time left and soon I'll be in the same boat as you are now; we actually had a bit of a scare a few weeks ago where it looked like he might have to be put down but he bounced back quite a bit. Tough to say how much time is left in him and I know it'll be hard to see him go.
I hope you get through this okay, and just know that as hard as it is for you it's his time to go now. It's really such a shame that their lives are so short though.
I'm very sorry for your loss OP, but i'm sure you gave him the best life and it's good to know he'll be leaving peacefully with you by his side.
I'm sure that's the way he'd want it.
Just enjoy your remaining time with him to the fullest.
Losing a pet can be like losing a sibling, or child at times. I know it's hard but you'll get through it.
>>64086436
Leo and brutus have the same noses. I think that's my favourite part of brutus, his stubby little nose. Leo looks a lot like my co workers dog, he brings it to work sometimes, I don't really know why but it seems to like the office. I came in one day during my second or third week and there was a little dude just like Leo in my cubicle sniffing something. I hope you and Leo have had good times together. Right now I'm just thinking if my beat memories with my dog, and the funniest ones.
>>64086467
I'm not an example of how to prepare yourself or deal with the feelings by any means but my advice would be to just start loving your dog as much as you can and treating each day like your last together. I denied all the signs that brutus' life was winding down for months and now I just wish I could go back and love him, now it feels like I've waited too long.
https://youtu.be/1CjsaFBQA1Q
https://youtu.be/CvCLhq8okxc
It's >>64085874. What helped me cope when my dog passed away was knowing that I gave him the best possible life I could. And looking at these beautiful pictures you have posted shows me that you have given Brutus sixteen wonderful years of life.
>>64086060
Has some nice recs. Black Metal, both atmospheric and depressive have some wonderful melancholic feeling to them.
Burzum - Hvis Lyset Tar Oss
Xasthur - To Violate the Oblivious
I Shalte Become - Wanderings
>>64086604
Yeah, good advice. I've already been doing that to some degree really, seeing how much he's aged (significant loss of hearing & sight mostly) has sobered me up to what little time could be left. I always try to pay him a little extra attention. And hey, I wouldn't say you've waited too long, at least you have this time before he's gone. Better than if he'd gone unexpectedly for some reason right? In any case, I really am sorry to hear and I wish I had something more helpful to say. Hopefully some of the music eases the process.
>>64086594
Thank you. I know I'll get through it somehow, each and everyone one of us has gotten through hard times and dealt with shitty hands, we wouldn't be here if we hadn't, right? It's just difficult to imagine getting through it. Knowing that I have to to into the office Monday, Tuesday, and leave work Wednesday to go home and spend the last hours of my dog's life... It seems impossible to get through. I know I'll be OK but I just don't know how.
>>64086756
Read this and started to tear up again haha. Thank you for what you've said, you've made me cry but not in a bad way by any means. I'm just happy to be able to look back on the great times we've had, the crazy times we've had
>>64086303
I'm gonna fucking cry anon that's horrible
Spiderland is a good album for this kind of, listen to Red House Painters (Rollercoaster) by Red House Painters too for those nostalgia feels
>>64086604
We have had lots of good times, we both love going for long walks. My parents walk him when I'm away at college, but when I'm home, he always knows to come to me when he wants to go. He loves to go exploring around the neighborhood and pick a new route every time, and he knows I'll let him do it. What are your best funny memories of Brutus?
>>64086865
Don't cry, it isn't horrible, it's happy. This dog is the beginning of my memories of this world. He couldn't have given me a greater gift.
>>64086962
The funniest thing brutus ever did was eat a lot of gingerbread. Back in kindergarten my mom made 60 something gingerbread cookies for me to take into class for valentines day. We woke up and Brutus was 2 times his normal size sprawled out on the kitchen floor with heaps of crumbs all over the place. He wasn't able to move for a couple days, but he's here now, 14 years later.
>>64086962
What is your best memory with leo?
>>64087067
Aww, that reminds me of the time Leo ate a corner out of a wedding cake my mom had baked for someone the day she had to deliver it. He had red velvet cake all over his snout and no idea why he was being shouted at. I made sure to give him lots of hugs that day so he knew he was still a good boy.
>>64087157
Leo is a top tier vandal
>>64085501
For grieving over a pet. You'll understand by the last one.
when my pup died I cried really hard to the grateful deads box of rain. Phil Lesh wrote it when he lost his father
>such a long long time to be gone, and a short time to be here
>>64087105
It's the easy answer, but honestly the day I got him. My parents had to give away their first dog when I was two and I was apparently so upset that they promised to get another dog when I turned ten, thinking I'd forget.
But every year, on my birthday, I'd be counting down. "Just five years till I can have a dog! Just four more years! Three more years till you said I could have a dog!" I was probably eight or nine before they realized "...shit, we have to get this kid his dog" and sure enough, there he was, just a few weeks before my tenth birthday. Here he is helping me celebrate another birthday, 14 years later.
>>64087427
Just got to this thread but god damn that's adorable
>>64087427
>that pupper is wearing a balloon
God damn that's cute
Thanks for your help over that last hour or however long it's been man. I've stopped crying and I'm calm enough now to go to sleep... Friends are coming over tomorrow to get drunk and play video games so hopefully that will take my mind off things for a day. After that back to just sitting with Brutus every hour of the day until it's time for him to leave.
I won't forget you or Leo
>>64087427
What a cutie. Reminds me a lot of my dog
Sorry OP. Had a dog very similar to him since I was born. He meant a lot to me. Iktf.
Listen to this when you can: a concept album about the death of a man's dog. It's really minimalistic, calm and beautiful contemporany folk, one of my favorites of it's kind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDR4-VJxMx4&list=PLAtvIW1ONgSw7M1TW-sgSWqh-hEnXfbuO
>>64087480
>>64087682
My parents sent me that pic. They said he didn't even notice the balloon and just went about his dog-business for hours with it bobbing along above him.
>>64087480
Good night anon, I hope you have fun tomorrow. Thanks for sharing dog stories, it really sounds like you have a special little guy there.
Leo says good night too.
>>64087884
Meant to link to
>>64087673
This isn't a music rec, but it's so nice to see that /mu/ can be sympathetic and caring. I didn't expect that at all from this board. I wish we could be like this all the time
>>64087673
You might not even be thinking of this now but I just went through this for the first time with my childhood dog last year and it helped to keep a lot of her things. Toys, teeth she lost, make a pawprint ink mark or something. Just to keep close as a reminder. We had the vet come to our house to put her down so she could be all comfy on her bed. Pretty heartbreaking to hold her during but no stress or scariness for the dog that way. Also don't feel guilty or weird about getting a new dog if that's what works for you. Coming home to an quiet dogless house is seriously weird and jarring if you've had dogs your whole life and it's a real bummer. Nothing wrong with getting a new friend when you're ready
Been through almost the exact same thing, and I know how rough it can be (my dog was pretty much my only companion for a large chunk of my childhood).
I can't actually really remember any music I listened to after we put her down, but something acoustic or similarly mellow that you have good memories of might fit well.
>Work at a CPA firm
>Client runs some nursing homes
>They bought a therapy dog and depreciated it over 7 years
>One of the partners wanted to see the dog
>The dog came into the office and walked around
>It got in trouble for barking at a partner
>It was a corgi
A Silver Mt. Zion - He Has Left Us Alone but Shafts of Light...
It's an album by one of the guitarists of Godspeed You! Black Emperor who dedicated it to his dog who died while he was on tour
>>64087210
Anon is right, pretty much the whole album was recorded because of the death of a band member's dog, listen to this OP
>>64088513
>>64088351
lol fuck sorry I was late
This threads breaking my heart. Reminds me of when I was 10 and our dog Bonnie died. My parents had her before I was born, so she had been my best friend my whole life at that age. I just remember her getting sick, then one day I realised I didn't see her around anywhere. My grandma came home and I asked her where Bonnie was, she looked sad, but then put on a smile and said she was just at the vet. She probably didn't want to tell me the truth. I felt relieved. But then later on when my mom came home I asked where Bonnie was again, she teared up as told me they had to put her down. I cried for hours, and when I stopped crying I just sat and wallowed in saddness. It was the worst thing I'd ever experienced at that point in time.
>>64088229
>Pretty heartbreaking to hold her during but no stress or scariness for the dog that way.
This is going to break me, I know it is. I live in fear of the day I'll have to hold him and feel his heartbeat and breathing slow to a stop. I almost hope it happens while I'm not there but I don't want him to be scared...
Fuck, I'm going to start tearing up at 1 in the morning and I should have been asleep three hours ago.
>>64088793
It was rough man. I was holding it together until then and just crying privately but I bawled in front of everyone at the actual moment. Got a lump in my throat just thinkin about it. It'll be hard but you'll work through it. Sounds like you have a ton of great memories with him. If it's a family dog just have your family be there for eachother. I would say honestly it brought my family closer together then we have been in a long long time. That dog was everybody's baby.
