Someone please help me get the invasive thoughts out of my head. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of loathing. I've been told time and time again I should try anti depressants or anti anxiety medication, but I absolutely do not trust pharmaceutical companies. What should I do?
>>64025372
make up your mind, or go see a psychologist who doesn't resort to pharmaceuticals right away
Therapy can be just as helpful as drugs
>>64025372
using personal experience
just embrace it, take all of your edginess and self loathing and lay in bed all weekend, you don't even have to cry, just experience your own void
this usually just makes me completely stop caring about anyone or anything
alternatively, try escapism, get addicted or obsessed with something, if you like a single person, talk to them to take your mind off of whatever
but also
I've been on prozac for a few months, and honestly the only reason I went to a doctor was so I would be put on antidepressants just so I could get the motivation to finally kill myself
I was very close the first week, but something clicked in my head and I just stopped caring, it was like a fog just covered up the nothing in my head
that all sounded edgy as hell but whatever, just try something, sorry if that didn't help at all
>>64025758
I just hope that I can mature enough as a person that I can handle the thoughts inside my head on my own. It's usually a mixture of intense pointlessness which drains me (I need to stop playing so many video games) and the feeling of being judged by other people. Every time I interact with someone else in person, I feel like I'm being judged. The funny thing is, I judge other people about as much as I judge myself. I am really harsh and critical of other people, but I am the same way about myself. I will always sit around just saying fuck you over and over again, to every thought of the times when I came across as awkward to someone else, because I feel like the epitome of low and awkward. I feel like I am getting more mature though, and eating two tables spoons of olive oil every day at breakfast I feel has improved my mental clarity.
>>64025846
Bernd Kistenmacher - Head-Visions
>>64025859
I'm pretty much the same, it's ruined a lot of relationships and potential friendships
just think about how meaningless everyone is, not just you, but everyone
no one's name that you know right now will be remembered 200 years from now
everyone's a selfish asshole, as long as you aren't a complete dick to anyone else, do whatever you want, nothing matters
>>64025903
Well, that's pretty nihilistic to reject things that "matter". Whatever matters to you actually is important, to negate that would mean that all you have left to feel is that everything is pointless. If you believe that there's meaning in pursuing what makes you happy, then that is a meaningful pursuit. There's one thing which human existence comes down to and that's the reward center of the brain, that is what makes us feel happy is that sense of accomplishment. That's why people like playing video games, is because it feels the sense of accomplishment inside of our brains, except for me when I play them to long I start to get a feeling of intense pointlessness and the award center of my brain feels like it's pretty much shut off. I wonder if that's because the part of my brain that is telling me that everything's pointless is cutting off the dopamine supply because it recognizes that it's being tricked. Anyways, once you realize that the point of life is to live it so you can be happy, then you stop having such a great degree of existential worry and I found that it actually makes there less anxiety when it's night time and all the lights are off. My problem is different, it has more to do with self esteem and dealing with other people, I think that I have figured out a good way to overcome existential anxiety, which is something that I was having a problem with ever since I was really young. The concept of not living forever has always bothered me and I think that it still bothers me to a degree, but just living itself I am more worried about how unrewarding life is by itself. I may at some points in time get upset by the pointlessness, so I can't say that this is all a concrete prophecy of how I will ultimately feel, but yeah okay blah.
>>64025846
damn man your taste in metal is slowly getting really good
Fredrik Thorendal - Sol Niger Within
Neuma - Weather
Suffocation - Effigy of the forgotten
>>64026021
>niger
ty, I'll try those out
I've been trying a lot of new death and dsbm
I don't give a FUCK wjat people say about Meshuggah though, that's some enjoyable ass metal
have you heard De Magia Veterum? it's super noisy, if you have anything like that I'm up for recs
>>64026068
Np, I actually really enjoy the fuck out of Shuggah too so we're in the same boat
Those djentcore kiddies are annoying as fuck though
Oh yeah that side project from the GTT guy.
Basically just listen to Gnaw Their Tongues
>>64025994
>>64025859
>>64025372
I have been there too. All I can say is that I recommend you to take anti-depressants and stop caring about transcendence.
I used to fear death every moment I was alive, until some day it just went away when I stopped caring, I just try to live everyday trying to be happy and sharing my life with the people I care for.
Nice taste, also.
>>64026113
I've never into'd art music but I checked Ferneyhough out as a joke and actually ended up enjoying it.
Any recs?
>>64025846
Amazing charts. Try new Plebeian Grandstand album.
>>64026167
>try out the new plebeian grandstand album
>it's already there
w e w
>>64026171
OH WAIT WHAT
THEY RELEASED A NEW LP
HOLY FUCK BRB DLING
>>64026135
Which Ferneyhough did you enjoy?
Extending Ferneyhough, I recommend by him (In priority order) :
>String Quartet 4
>Les Froissements d'Ailes de Gabriel
>String Quartet 2
>Four Miniatures
And in a way similar to him, you should also check Elliott Carter:
>A Symphony of Three Orchestras
>His first four String Quartets
Hope you enjoy them.
>>64026113
Why thank you. I won't be taking anti depressants though, because I don't trust pharmaceutical companies. I am an extremely health conscious person, I don't eat anything but unprocessed whole foods, I don't do any drugs, I try to take care of myself in any conceivable way that I can. These drugs have side effects, they're sold by a company that's driven by monetary interest, they just want to get you hooked on their drugs so they can make a profit. It appears to me they have no real vested interest in actually trying to make people better. Not to mention the fact that they'll put children on stimulant medications for their brain if they can't pay attention, when paying attention in class is a skill that people have to learn, but drug companies take advantage of people this way. The side effects of these drugs are pretty scary, I do not trust pharmaceutical companies and that's one of the things I like about Bernie Sanders. Regardless of what you think of his other policies, he's anti pharma and so am I. I have seen the way the psychiatric industry of our country works and it's scary they will misdiagnose you and put you on whatever drugs lines their pockets. It's a fucked up system and I urge you to NOT support pharmaceutical companies.
a well-measured dose of psychedelics may help break the cycle. don't expect the trip itself to be a pleasant experience though.
>>64026113
Btw, these are some interesting looking artists you have on here, I don't know more than a few. What would you recommend?
>>64026202
I listened to a comp from the Arditti Quartet that came out back in 2014. I think it had String Quartet's 2 & 4 on it. I'll check out the other two pieces, thanks.
Alright, I'll give Carter a go. Thanks for the help anon
>>64026221
Honestly, I would recommend every single artist there besides Dufourt.
But to go for the cream on the top, the best I can recommend is Stockhausen, Grisey and Scelsi (Coincidentally my top three on the chart)
Stockhausen:
>Aus den Sieben Tagen
>Gesang der Junglinge
>Hymnen
Grisey:
>Jour, Contre-Jour
>Les Espaces Acoustiques
>Talea
Scelsi:
>String Quartet 4
>Hurqualia
>Uaxuctum
If you feel interested on where to start with any other of them I could also try to help.
>>64026227
No problem, and hope you get to tell me your opinion someday.
>>64026206
well, i'm the last to defend ANY multinational corporation, and sure, be conscious of what you put in your system, but i gotta say you're sounding a little tinfoil-hat there - there is no denying that industrial pharmaceutical products are ALSO a great contributor to our high health niveau and can SAVE LIFES. anyway, you can try self-medication with natural alternatives.
>>64025372
Exercise, good diet, and consistent sleep schedule are essential for mental health
I've taken a lot of different anti-depressants (mostly SSRIs and benzos) and the side effects aren't worth it in my opinion: drowsy feeling, weight gain (or possibly weight loss depending), loss of sex drive, loss of motivation, etc.
I'm honestly not in a great position to be giving others advice but you really should just try to take care of yourself.
If you're struggling with existentialism try to search for a new hobby you really enjoy, or maybe even try recreational drugs.
>>64025880
Fuck off faggot
>>64025846
Nice metal
>>64026021
Do you like Destroy All Monsters?
>>64026537
Well, I am extremely diet conscious, I will only eat foods which I research first, and I count all the calories I eat that I eat by the gram, on a scale, so that way I never over eat.
Sweet potato, olive oil, avocado, boxes of assorted vegetables, egg whites, greek yogurt, cocao powder, boxes of kale and spinach, fruits like strawberries blueberries bananas prunes, anything like that I put into my diet, plus I use a website to calculate my intake and make sure I'm getting every vitamin and mineral I need. http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php
And I always go to sleep at around 10:30 every night. I try to take care of my body and my mental health, it's just difficult. I have an extremely passionate and sensitive brain, so it's difficult.
I also don't do any drugs. I even limit myself to very, very moderate amounts of caffeine and I'll never have more than 1 cup of alcohol on a special occasion when I'm out at a celebration or something.
>>64025880
nice taste mi amigo
>>64026537
no u
>>64026611
Get a good therapist please.
>>64026537
I haven't checked them out yet, although they're in my endlessly large backlog
>>64026702
well since you like moonshake, this heat and can you'll probably like them
>>64026813
damn Can and This Heat are god tier in my book so I should really check them out
Thanks anon
