FEELS THREAD
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You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music
You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music
>tfw slowly becoming a shut in after years of being a social person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx5_A2sGiT0
my last night on the job before my trial on cinco de mayo which may cause me to lose my job of ten years if they sentence me to jail if they lock me up right then and there.
but yeah I've become a shut in too although I think is for the best
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
I'm lonely and isolated because I've pushed all my friends away. I'm a shitty person so I guess I deserve to be alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axSh7EqNPmw
>>64544872
iktf all too well
>>64544872
>>64545046
https://yeehawma.bandcamp.com/track/dim
>>64544872
Right there with you anon
Social Withdrawal ft. Alcoholism
>>64544965
I'm sorry to here this, man.
>>64544965
I've seen you around here bro, are you getting locked up for sure?
>>64545150
I'm trying to become an alcoholic. 10 weeks of 2 liters of rum a week. I wonder how long it'll take.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vasVs61VKMY
Thinking about all those missed sexual and gf opportunities because I was too dumb to catch a hint. Persistently thinking about all the different ways my life could have played out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uulY9Qyp0sI
>>64545164
thanks its kinda scary right now but hopefully it'll be ok
>>64545181
its my first offense and its just weed so I imagine 3 days is absolute worst case scenario but if they take me away right there I'll miss work which isn't really a place I can do that. If they just let me wait a few days to start my sentence then I wouldn't care.
>>64545189
Why you trying bro?
Seriously, quit now while you can
there's nothing romantic about it
Drinking until you can't eat
Throat burns so you cough and throw up bile from your empty stomach
being sober is pain, being drunk is misery
I've cut back to the point where I can take days off, but every two weeks I go on a binge that fucks up any progress I've made
I'm struggling to lose weight, have trouble forming relationshups
I'm getting better, but it isn't happening fast
Texting cringetacular shit you don't remember to exes I haven't talked to in years fuck
>>64545238
How can you be incarcerated for first offence possession of cannabis?
Do you even have a lawyer?!
>>64545046
Shut up Titus
>>64545238
I see anon, I think you'll be okay
Sounds like it's going to be jail, not prison, and that's much less scary.
I'm sorry to hear that though
>>64545189
Honestly just smoke weed instead, if you're looking to take an edge off. Alcoholism is no joke.
>>64545268
well for starters its helping me sleep like a motherfucker. Toss in some sleeping pills and I just black the fuck out. Thats probably 90% why I do it. I dunno I've just never been a drinker so I'm wondering how this will play out.
>>64545298
up yours
/mu/ - Music
>>64544872
It's not so bad. What do you like doing in your own time?
>>64545349
Why don't you post some buddy
>>64545275
well hopefully I can't but its technically possible.
No I'm just pleading guilty and throwing myself on the mercy of the court. Losing my job is literally all I care about and even that could have its upside but thats still intimidating.
>>64545308
Thats what I did but I go to trial for weed on cinco de mayo. Good thing I quit too because someone just told me that a drug test right then and there could be part of the plea agreement.
>>64545238
Where do you work where it is ok to fire someone if they need to take 3 days off?
>>64545367
Oooooooooooo
>>64545268
Try this: blacking out and fucking members of the same sex. Yep. You heard me right.
>>64545387
well it would just be with 1 day notice but I'm a building attendant at a high rise so its a super small staff. True I still might not lose my job even if that happens. I've literally never missed a day in ten years.
>>64545189
Youre already there. The sooner you realize it the better. I wish someone had told me at 19 when i went through a fifth of rum every 2 days that i was already an alcoholic. Oh wait they did. "Im worried about your drinking anon, youre drinking to the point of passing out almost every night by yourself." oh bitch please im in college, we drink a lot. Aint no thang.
The earlier you realize it the better. Im just now starting to accept it 6 years later. Ive known for quite some time. Just havent wanted to admit it. Liquor makes me feel too powerful. The thought of giving it up is utterly terrifying. But knowing that no matter how "functional" i am, the rate at which im drinking IS going to kill me, thats terrifying as well.
A friend of mine had some older friends (in their 60s/70s) say to him "the friends of ours who drink beer and wine we have yet to bury any. The friends who drink liquor? Weve buried several"
>>64545351
tons of uni work, watch comedy shows, music, 4chan.
I dunno I just keep pushing people away. It's not too bad now but if I continue this I could lose a lot my friends
>>64545419
That's what I'm saying. 10 years is a looooong time. Esp if you never missed a day, which is hard to believe. I'd go ahead and yank out an old "family emergency" bullshit card if it amounts to only a few days. You'll be fine man.
>>64545424
if the hangovers start to get bad I think I'd quit. I'm a super pussy about that stuff and thats actually a reason I started drinking so much. Before this I'd just been a beer drinker and I could get really bad hangovers but with rum it really doesnt happen at all. That really surprised me so I figured i'd just go to town with it.
>>64545377
Dude check your local sentencing rules for aggravating/mitigating factors and make submissions along those lines.
Wear a suit.
>>64545328
I use melatonin now, works pretty well
Helped me get over needing to drink to fall asleep
That or just stay up for the whole night
You'll have an easier time sleeping the next night
and your sleep schedule won't get fucked
>>64545428
ive been there. Focus on what makes you genuinely happy and fulfilled. Hint: if it's other people, then you're fucked. Total isolation is unhealthy, but a little solitary reflection and separation from all the bullshit is good for you.
>>64545450
thanks and thats good advice about making a story up. I'll keep it in mind although I'm inclined to just call my boss from court which actually reminds me i need to put her number in my phone right now. I'm not a very good liar and especially since I've never missed a day she'd be super suspicious to begin with.
>>64545409
Bro.
I've definitely done some gay shit when I was drunk, but never that far
But damn, I've heard it happens. Story?
>>64544872
>tfw trying to become social but still distant and awkward
>>64545424
God damn, you sound like me anon
I worry all the time about how I've probably fucked up my body and brain permanently, I wonder how many years I've shaved off of my life.
>>64545424
Damn...
>>64545464
Stop rationalizing. Im telling you. You are an alcoholic already otherwise you wouldnt have found a reason to drink that much in the first place. I dont expect you to realize it yourself and stop drinking right away. You need to go through the bad parts of drinking. You need to experience the darkness of doing things you couldnt control because you drank too much
>>64545566
>>64545464
Listen to this man anon, it's easier to quit right now than it will be later on
>>64545518
Not much to it. At some point in my alcoholism, all the barriers come crashing down. I was literally an animal. Fighting and fucking whatever crossed my path. I just floated around, no control. One night this gay dude invited me back to his place, and idk. I just did it. I woke up and was still drunk so it took a while to set in. By the next day, I was hallucinating and shaking and felt sick. And this guy is talking about wanting to be alcoholic !
>>64545566
Tripfag making some sense. Damn, now I've seen it all.
>>64545474
offhand I think by far the biggest one is the circumstances of the crime which was me calling for a fucking ambulance because my dealer laced my shit with adderall I'm absolutely convinced although at the time I had no idea. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something like caffeine.
>>64545490
I've used diphenhydramine for years which works really well but still isnt always guaranteed. Combining it with alcohol is literally guaranteed.
>>64545566
>doing things you couldnt control because you drank too much
so far thats just been going to the grocery store drunk and buying a ton of junk food. I've actually still had the urge to do that lately but now I'm literally getting attacking by grackles whenever I go out during the day which is when I get drunk. So the grackles are actually helping me with my weight loss.
staying up late because I know that if I sleep i'll just wake up to shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_mxOYhMcGI
new car seat headrest sucked
>>64544872
my friends kinda just let me tag along in highschool. now they have moved and im all alone.
i want to die
>>64544872
weed helps..
>>64545602
Damn. I feel you bro, sorry that happened
I kind of get it tho, if you haven't experienced it, it's easy to think it's some bukowskian, romantic, depressive existence.
>>64545636
what is a grackle?
>>64545602
>And this guy is talking about wanting to be alcoholic !
so far its actually made me much more chill than weed which I think by comparison kinda made me psychotic. Booze just kinda makes me let people walk all over me instead of fighting. The whole numbness of it all.
As for fucking anything that would probably be a good thing for me. Even crack whores don't want anything to do with me apparently.
>tfw trying to optimize time cause exams are coming but I can't stop wasting it on bullshit that gives instantaneous short term relief to an unsourceable anxiety
>tfw I watch the hours go away and passively accept it as my destiny
>tfw this site is obviously not helping at all
https://youtu.be/i8d0xNHbgB8
>>64545668
Exactly. Wow. You might be the first person I've shared that with that immediately gets it. i was genuinely out of control and romanticized that to the point of ....do whatever. Or whoever lol.
>>64545668
its kinda like a crow
they get super aggressive this time of year when they have babies and the tree outside my door is infested. next year I'm getting pvc pipe to put together until its long enough to knock down the nests.
>>64545688
i feel you. finals are tough
I just really miss her.
She had a lot of problems, with her abusive stepfather and all, and I thought that I could have been the one to help her through everything, like going back to school, rebuilding her self confidence, etc.
Then I realized that I had more or less the same issues as her, and I spilled my guts to her while barely letting her open up even a little bit to me. Then we just started crashing down after every petty disagreement led to shouting and fighting.
I hope she's okay. I feel bad that we both fell for each other so fast.
Listening to pic related right now, Feelsgoodman.jpg at least.
>>64545639
what shit?
I kind of liked the new car seat headrest, what didn't you like about it?
>>64545687
Booze takes its toll on every genuine alcoholic, every time. Some people experience a typical downward spiral, while others undergo a more unique destruction. But mark my words: if you're an alcoholic, you can never win against alcohol.
>>64544872
>being a shut in because you're not a social person, and feel like society has made you that way. You're always pushed aside, and the worst thought of you and it's done nothing but make your life worse and made you feel horrible about your self and your life.
>>64545666
I get offered to smoke pretty often. Instead of going with friends, I stay home and smoke alone. I think the problem may be me smoking too much. When I smoke I get brilliantly introspective and I'd rather be that way alone. So me routinely smoking and being in my own world is leading to my social downfall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN9OLmdvSRs
>>64545654
Know that feel man. Being stuck at home while all my friends moved upstate, living the "ideal" university life while I was stuck at a community college.
If you're also in school, just put yourself out there -- try joining a club. I'm an English major, but I still ended up joining my college's Newspaper/Journalism program to give it a shot, maybe develop some work ethic along the way. I made a lot of friends through that, and even went on one date with a qt, and a lot of the kids there were also anxious/isolated in high school, so there was some common ground to meddle in through that.
But maybe you're not doing school, and everything I said wouldn't apply to you...But regardless, hang on, cause it gets better.
>>64545717
Getting drunk all the time makes this idea seem more possible, because everything is feels kind of poignant when you're drunk and feeling introspective. I'm telling you right now anon, I was in shape, had a qt 3.14 girlfriend, a good job, and was happy. Now I'm posting on 4chan
>>64545688
I know this feel all too well. Extreme procrastination is a problem. Even when it hurts my grades I continue to do it.
>>64545719
this is like some american gladiator gauntlet type shit.
>>64545780
>Being stuck at home while all my friends moved upstate, living the "ideal" university life
Yes. Exactly my feel.
Im currently working an ok job tho. I have applied for uni and will know within a month if i get in. If not i guess ill go travel the world alone or something. Thanks for the encouragement anon it means alot.
>>64545789
Well, I lost my band. And some people found out what I did. I not homophobic by any means, but when you do something reckless when your drunk, like start a lil fight or get kicked out of bar, people laugh it off. When you go full gay, it changes everyone's entries perspective on you, no matter how Reddit they are. To me, I don't care that it was with a guy. What I am ashamed of is that I cheated on my GF drunk. It's really hard man
>>64545805
when it first happened it was like literally being in a horror movie. About ten of them swarmed me and the sun was right in my face so I was blinded. Apparently they know this tactic works to attack with the sun behind them. That was last year though and luckily it hasnt been that bad...yet.
>tfw girl you really admired and had a huge crush on got married
>tfw never confessed
>tfw everyone you've even thought about pursuing is already taken
>tfw life isn't working out the way it should be
Any post-rock/post-metal for this feel?
>>64545881
Neurosis dude
>>64545847
Fuck dude I know this feel too well
I got fucked up at a party I shouldn't have gotten fucked up at, and acted weird and did some homo shit(not homophobic at all tho) in front of the wrong people
I've had to leave that extended social group, which was huge, and I still haven't found a new one
What kind of music was your band?
>>64545855
do not plead guilty. ask for an extension so you can hire a lawyer. the lawyer can get extensions until he is able to work something out to the court that will not end in jail time. this is what will happen if you plead guilty: immediate jail time potentially, definite probation. you want a lawyer.
>>64545778
I smoke alone a lot too, though i smoke with friends every now and then when they invite me over. there have been quite a few times when i have decided to stay at home for reasons similar to yours. And like you, I feel like I'm sabotaging my extroverted side
Anyway, here is some sweet trip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAES6w_rP5o&list=PLnFL6dfK03YBGdhPbkmxLKAE7H6BKGbk5
>>64545760
My world view is inspired by the internet. I've been so socially outcasted for years I think I'm developing serious mental issues from it, like schizophrenia. I don't know what it is about me but I'm treated like shit all the time by people, it's taken a toll on me.
>>64544872
>hear this song forever ago in a sharethread
>keep scrolling, forget name, but always remember how it sounds
Jesus Christ, thanks for posting that song. I heard it a couple years ago and I could never find it.
>>64545909
When I was in it, some garage punk type stuff. Now that I'm out, some shitty lo fi hipster band. Lol, I'm bitter right?
>tfw music is the only thing that makes you feel good
>tfw your tinnitus keeps getting worse for no discernible reason
>>64545956
Glad I could help
>>64545935
I know what you mean. Just recently I've started to act like the real world doesn't exist when I go outside. Starting to get detached from reality. I can't imagine with years of social isolation does to the mind. Well actually I can, because of my useless major.
>>64545966
Lol, you've earned the bitterness tho
What do you play? I'm a musician as well, just on my own for right now.
>>64546003
Drums.
>>64545923
I'd be fine with probation and even jailtime too but the immediate part is what kinda baffles me. What if I had a kid at home or god knows what not to mention losing my job. I'd think they'd give me a few days to report back in so i can get my affairs in order.
my coworker just got 3 days for dui and he said his lawyer couldn't get him out of it. I've only had one experience with a lawyer and it was a disaster. That was the worst part of my previous hot check charge which all I had to do was pay it but he lied to me to keep me going to court again and again.
>>64545983
I afraid to go to concerts and deleloping this. If I couldn't listen to music properly, I go full on depression.
>also tfw when music is one of the few things that make you happy and you don't even enough time in the day to listen to enough of it. And in a lifetime you will never discover enough music.
>>64546003
I'd really like to branch out and play some really heavy, pissed off sort of doom.
>>64545956
>>64546000
+1. Love the song.
>>64546036
*or rather so he could keep going to court again and again while he literally falsified my statements lying that I didn't have the money to pay at that time. Apparently lawyers get some type of credit the more they go to court because there was no financial incentive for him to do that and he even lost money when I found out and fired him without paying the remainder of my bill.
>>64546045
dang, that's intense. I play drums as well but I haven't had a kit for a couple of years.
Goodnight fellas. One last song before I go. I love you all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubAxMOlJ524
>>64546044
i was in a shitty band in high school with a drummer who was incapable of playing at any volume besides painfully loud. i've had tinnitus for like 10 years but it was only noticeable when i was lying in bed at night. then about 5 months ago it suddenly started getting worse and i now hear the ringing constantly.
>>64546169
I'm going to bed as well
Drinking anons and doom band anon, I salute enjoyed the chats for sure
>>64546000
>>64546000
Yeah, I'm pretty fucked up from it. On top of the mental issues from it. I've became an alcoholic over it. I sit and drink at night (plus over eating) imagining what life would be like if I had one, and if I've ever done or said anything to not deserve one. I feel I'm getting worse off, I'm developing the health issues and everything. I've never figured out why I've had such a hard time with people and life in general, I've read books, I've done hours of research on the internet, I can't find answers.
@Brandon
Stop deleting your post so i reply, family
Your problem...is this with all people? have you tried finding a group that suits your niche of interest and personality traits?
Also you should exercise, sleep and eat right. Not for anyone, but for yourself. That really is the first step to feeling better. Trust me on this. Best of luck anon
>>64545424
Damn.... I drink the greater half of a fifth of vodka every night. I rarely get hungover, and I consider myself pretty functional (I remember most nights, I wait until I've done the shit I needed to do that day, etc). Part of me knows it's bad, part of me just feels the positives of it and doesn't care. I come from generations of alcoholics, but smoking has killed most of them in their 60s. I very rarely smoke. Its on my blood to drink, and I want to stop, but I seem to get by unregulated by it just fine.
>>64546279
There was a typo that was annoying the fuck out of me.
>>64545889
Where has this been my whole life, holy shit
Working night shift 60 hours a week, slowly slipping back into depression, sleep all day until I go back to work. I've cut off all ties with everyone, life is empty as fuck man. Don't even care about my paycheck at this point. Music for this feel?
>>64546279
>Your problem...is this with all people? have you tried finding a group that suits your niche of interest and personality traits?
Not all, but a really big majority. I've tried to pursue hobbies and things to meet people, things just don't work out usually.
>>64546476
stop drinking, stop over eating,
STOP MAKING STUPID DRUNKEN POSTS ON FACEBOOK. you have no idea how bad you make yourself look. tired of being made fun of? stop posting the shit you do on social media
>>64546499
he made another post about the chvrches thing tonight he needs to deactivate his account and go ghost until he gets better
>>64546367
Through Silver in Blood and Times of Grace are my personal favorites right now. Scott Kelly is a pretty cool guitarist/vocalist
A male friend said "I love you" in a joking fashion to me yesterday. Nobody has ever said that to me and even though I'm not gay I can't stop thinking about how nice it felt.
>>64544872
>tfw slowly becoming a shut in after years of being a social person
I am this feel.
I think it's normal as we age.
>>64546547
I don't even remember making the post. I woke up and saw it. I deactivated it after that
>>64545881
Broselmaschine - lassie
Wish the end of the month was here so I could say my final goodbyes and you could leave me alone. Didn't want it to end like this, I thought we'd end up doing heaps of hot stuff together and have a lot of fun lmao, but you got way too confusing and you literally made a fake account on an app I use to annoy me. It's very creepy. I wouldn't want you back ever again unless you could like, not take your frustration out on me. I'm only here to help but you make my life hell. Also you don't understand what I meant when I say "I care", which I think made you slowly hate me lmao. Oh well
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OC_I3TZhesc
