>Because, dear reader, in a genuinely shocking plot twist, Lemonade deserves to take home all of the accolades due to how insultingly bad it is. Its toxic synthetic nature of bland songwriting and sonically lethargic production easily describes its own obvious spiritlessness without a challenging request made upon the listener. Lemonade is also lacking any imposing flare of avant-garde pop quality or interesting ideas turned into a mainstream success, instead producing a vapid display of rich pseudo-mystique in the form of a hollow, nonplussed, and disastrous 45-minute pop album. As it stands, Beyoncé’s latest is a disjointed, dilettante, and simply uninventive album that forces pop idiocy and hip hop/R&B blandness down our throats. Lemonade hardly ever tries to be a unique chapter in a pop star’s career, yet it almost always finds a way to place itself upon a pedestal and create a fabricated mix of soul, emotion, and/or atmosphere, as if it had any artistic merit.
Pretty much. Can't wait to see where he goes in the next 10 years.
>everyone i agree with not biased
>everyone i don't agree with is
was he on thesaurus.com when he wrote this?
>>64400508
>using a petty criticism like this
this cheap shot reply is so overused holy fuck
based desu
>>64400465
NO HES RACIST
>>64400498
no. the album in question has gotten absurd amounts of praise and it really isn't that good. you're not really gonna sit here and tell me it is better then blackstar right?
>>64400528
hi marcel
>>64400508
all common words, and used in the proper manner, ya bumb.
>>64400498
the thing is marcel isn't really biased when it comes to anything. he can easily dislike an album by an artist who did some previously he liked, and it's very rare when an artist releases multiple albums that he loves.
![[mudabone] Hidamari Sketch Hoshimittsu 04 [BD 720p H264-AAC] [ECD8F86D].mkv_snapshot_08.35_[2011.07.27_05.11.14].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gn6HjvF.jpg "[mudabone] Hidamari Sketch Hoshimittsu 04 [BD 720p H264-AAC] [ECD8F86D].mkv_snapshot_08.35_[2011.07.27_05.11.14].jpg")
>>64400508
>he uses big words i dont know so he must not know them either
some people are just more floral in their writing, anon
>>64400465
Ty based Marcel.
Although you can copy and paste this review for pretty much all celebrity music.
>>64400465
dos his mom help him right his reviews? he writes like i used to when i was his age and would ask my mom for help on my english assignments. i feel like that vocabulary and linguistic use is uncharacteristic of people under the age of 30 and falls more in line with a vocabulary and grammatical context of a 40+ college educated white woman? am i wrong and stereotyping or jsut projecting an isolated view of my own experience and understanding or is there some truth to this? it very well could be since he learned english and presumably doesnt converse a lot with people his own age he took on the linguistical style of his mother rather than peers since he is homeschooled.
>>64400508
This isn't your average Downs, this is Super Downs
>>64400559
idk if it's better than blackstar and i don't really care either. i like both.
>>64400661
>he shouldn't be able to write that way
sounds like jealousy desu senpai
>>64400661
Maybe he's not retarded unlike you and knows the difference between right and write
>>64400465
Govaway Marcel
>>64400508
His writing does use unnecessary jargon to make his argument sound smarter, but it fails to do so as he says no worthwhile critique about why the album is bad other than just stating it is so because it is. People on this thread are retarded.
Being unbiased is impossible
>>64400465
Yes
>>64400782
yeah that post is just as retarded as the first time i read it
>>64400730
>>64400731
i never criticized him whatsoever. i just was making an observation. as i said my mom would help me write papers at his age. i dont doubt the opinions are his. merely pointing an interest at the grammatical structures atypical of newer generations. im merely interested in language and how it changes through time and across platform and what factors cause it to change. his writing style is fascinating to me for that reason.
>>64400798
how so? your argument makes no sense.
I met Marcel once at a concert once and told him I recognized him from doing music reviews/blogging. He was an extremely nice guy.
>>64400808
everyone is biased. every reviewer, every person with an opinion on anything. the fact that someone dislikes an album from a band that they liked previously does not mean they're not biased.
>>64400661
>right
is this bait
>>64400846
[citation needed]
>>64400465
Marcel you're still in your edgy fuck da corporations phase. You leave sjw bias/bandwagoning to cling into your edgy antu corporate bandwagon. Fuck off
Also,
>can't play any instruments
Thinks he can judge other music
>>64400808
wait who is who?
being unbiased is impossible. even statistical factual information has some sort of bias in how its presented or notated or the very fact it is presented or recorded at all. especially in reviewing something youre displaying youre subjective opinion-- subjectivity is bias. a subjective being displaying what he presumes or presents as objective fact is biased. its impossible to avoid. and its not a bad thing at all. everyone experiences and thinks about the world differently and thats great not bad.
>>64400465
wasn't he caught copying another review and posting it as his own?
>>64400834
I chat with Marcel regularly on Dubtrack, he's nice.
>>64400892
he did the same thing for a music piece he said was his. i was convinced it was supposed to be art about ownership and context.
>>64400896
Fuck off hatoful. You guys are fucking losers that drone off poseur core and think it makes them unique.
>Music critic
I think the words you were looking for is "music journalist".
A music critic is a person with knowledge and understanding on music theory/history, and analyzes music in pursuit of contributing a greater understanding to the art as a whole. A music critic is not somebody who types up trashy paragraphs, filled with non music specific vocabulary, in attempt to rate pop music. You are not a critic if you are completely musically obvious. You are a worthless blogger, and an insult to everyone in the art music community.
>>64400802
Dog the hardest word in his whole review is "dilettante". Pick up a book if you're so interested in language, you sound like you need to anyway
Hey Marcel, what's your website?
>>64401013
im interested in coloquial language and language in culture. book-writing is a very specific sunset of culture and authors fall under a very specific class and education system. i like looking at all uses of language and do not feel one way is correct or any is wrong if thats what you are thinking. im not implying his vocabulary is big or anything only that it feels tied to a different subset of culture than his own and that to me makes him interesting (despite his shallow simplistic takes on music.)
>>64400465
Is he black[african american]???? (he looks like a mexican, anyway..)
>>64401270
he's strangely tan in this picture but he's not way IRL. i'm this guy:
>>64400834
I believe he's French.
>>64400465
>Criticizing the music on a pop culture zeitgeist album
Autism
His writing isn't terrible but I have to point out that he literally uses "Forever 21-core" later in the review. The absolute memeing madman.
>>64400756
>jargon
protip: you're using that word wrong.
>>64401427
it's not discussed for the music, nor was it really made as a musical or artistic statement. treating it as such is autistic. and if you insist on criticizing it on those grounds, at least acknowledge the fact it's a visual album
>>64401501
then what the fuck about all of these white critics writing for major publications praising it?
>>64401501
>>64401547
Yeah, what exactly are you proposing it is then?
>>64401528
they're praising it for social reasons. i've not seen a review that acknowledges the music on more than a surface level
>>64401569
an easy way for people to feel like they're part of some kind of (artificial) cultural movement with minimal effort on their part
>>64400881
>implying you need to be able to play an instrument to have opinions on music
>implying not being able to play an instrument invalidates a person's opinions on music
>>64400956
No, a journalist talks about news and stories relating to whatever topic they've chosen to cover. A critic, boiled down to its simplest definition, is a person who offers their opinion on the merits of a given piece of art. A lack of understanding in the medium doesn't mean they can't have an opinion and it certainly doesn't mean they can't voice it. If it means less to you because of that, fine. But the guy's a critic, maybe not a good one to you (I'm not sticking up for him, I don't read his shit and OPs post does make him sound like a pretentious little shit), but he's a critic nonetheless.
I disagree with a lot of what Marcel says but I agree he is unbiased. Like >>64400591 said he isn't afraid to pan an album by an artist he might usually like, and I respect that.
>>64402123
As a critic it does. Otherwise you're just a Petty journalist who has no idea what he's talking about.
Marcel stop taking yourself so seriously.
>>64402516
He is terrified of planning an album deemed "avant garde" and "intelligent/challenging" with a rating above 3.5 on rym. Go ahead, find a single one saying otherwise. Double standards
>>64402123
found the person who can't play an instrument
>>64400528
sup marcel
>>64402123
Guys it's 2016 do you REALLY need to know basic music theory and basic instrument ability to judge music critically? I mean COME ON
I saw this guy cheering on the stairway when the Death Grips show ended in Santa Cruz lol
>took down devin
>now taking down beyonce
marcel based
>>64402993
>Devin
literally who
>>64402888
I mean they put on a great show. They're very energetic on stage and the fans are crazy, at least at the one I went to last summer.
>>64400559
It's better than a 1/10 though
>>64403286
hi beyonce fan
>>64403455
I've never heard any of Beyonce's albums before this one, 1/10s should be reserved only for stuff like Speeding Bullet
>>64403048
DIIV
>>64400465
based Marcel
>>64400465
>It's bad because it's bad
Does Marcel ever write anything substantive?
>>64404815
do you not understand how music reviews fucking work
>>64402888
did you get a chance to talk to him?
>>64404897
please enlighten me???
how can he say lemonade "lacks any imposing flare of avant-garde pop quality or interesting ideas"? where else could you ever find a synthesis of sounds like Don't Hurt Yourself? the raw, organic drums and bass with the piercing keyboards and distorted vox in a pop song like that? what about the reverby staccato sax juxtaposed against the choral sample and buzzy 808 bass in the hook of 6 inch? this is seriously such a well-composed and expertly produced pop album and not even the positive reviews are giving it credit for that.
>>64405130
>defending this album
holy fucking shit you cannot be serious
>>64405130
opinion discarded
That CBGB's t-shirt is fucking cringeworthy.
>>64400719
>idk if it's better than blackstar
It isn't. Blackstar unarguably shits all over it.
>>64405158
>>64405180
ok i get it thanks
>>64402123
This is true, and I always find it funny when people think that being a practitioner of the artform in question somehow automatically and magically grants a critic more insight (insight into what exactly? A critic is simply giving you his subjective appraisal of something, he's not out to "prove" a fuckin' scientific theory).
I know a pretty well regarded author who once told me he's not much of critic. And some of the best film criticism I've ever read came from novelists.
Criticism is more a literary artform than some type of cold, objective scientific analysis. This fact bothers Music Theory 101 students and certain virtuoso musicians because they want music primary evaluated on either compositional cleverness or technical skill. To me, that doesn't make any sense because those two elements are simply in service of the overall aesthetic. nor can they save a weak or uninteresting aesthetic.
Think about this way. Orson Welles' could rise from the grave and remake Baby Geniuses 2 (assume he sticks to the script), and all his directorial brilliance wouldn't save it from still being a shitty film.
A good critic is a rhetorician who can interestingly articulate his point-of-view. He's not a theorist performing a science experiment.
>Marcel
DUDE HYPNAGOGIC POP LMAO
>>64400661
you do realize that he isn't even that great of a writer don't you?
>>64406310
Except he is.
>>64405353
>rhetorician
you need logical proof for an argument
delete your account
>>64400559
>I don't like it so others should either
You're aware others have different opinions, right?
>>64406399
lets just not comment on the quality of those opinions ever
>>64406434
Of course you can agree with Marcel, but your showing your bias toward not liking this album. If you want to suck a 16 year olds dick, go ahead.
>>64400465
When did /mu/ decide it liked Marcel? Thought he was generally disliked around here after being caught plagiarising and Paulstretching other people's music and passing it off as baby's first ambient.
sophie lemonade is better
>>64400465
based marcel
I've decided: threads with tards arguing about critics are even worse than threads with tards arguing about waifus.You're all faggots and reading your puerile nonsense is akin to watching cripples fight to the death with toilet plungers. If I had the resources, I would arm all of you with chemical weapons and rockets, and let you Iran/Iraq War yourselves out of existence.
>>64407063
sup reddit
>>64400773
fuck off frankfurt school of communism graduate
it isn't impossible at all
>>64407063
stop
>>64400834
I saw him at a concert and I bullied him lol
>>64400593
his writing just flat out sucks though
>>64408224
please explain
>>64408579
no, it doesn't
>>64400465
How do you know if is this unbiased?
>>64406671
ever since he decided he didn't like lemonade
so since last week
>>64408224
nice haha
>>64400465
this kid needs to spend less time on thesaurus and bulk. LOOK at this nigga , hungry hungry skeleton, he looks like he got kicked out Auschwitz for being too skinny.
>>64409119
he should spend more time sucking my dick
>>64408224
wait what why? elaborate on what happened
>>64409119
sup kanye
>>64406310
i dont think the person is saying that hes too good of a writer, they are just saying his style sounds like an older woman
just realized this guy's 16 and I've gotta say that is insanely impressive. I mean this is clearly way better writig than, say, consequence of sound or noisey (not that that's super hard, but if a 16yold writes better than major music publications, that says a lot)
>>64410675
I wrote like that when I was 15 and I'm a fucking loser, so I'm not too impressed.
Then again I'm the brainy version of the high school jock, and all of my old classmates only knew me because I was the underachieving genius in the town.
>>64410675
hi marcel
anyone can use a thesaurus, and honestly these words aren't even that impressive. he sounds like every other self-aggrandizing teenage boy who thinks he's smart.
>>64410675
it hurts my eyes d e s u
Any critic's opinion is worth far less than my own, so why should I care?
>>64411165
>Any opinion is worth far less than my own, so why should I care?
ftfy desu :^)
>>64411209
Well, yes.
Why would you think any differently?
>>64411216
I agree with you in general senpai, but listen to others did help me expand my musical horizon.
well he writes like fucking shit, for one thing.
> Its toxic synthetic nature of bland songwriting and sonically lethargic production easily describes its own obvious spiritlessness without a challenging request made upon the listener
>because its this way, it is this way, implies music has to be challenging to have artistic merit
lmao
>As it stands, Beyoncé’s latest is a disjointed, dilettante, and simply uninventive album that forces pop idiocy and hip hop/R&B blandness down our throats
>using dilettante as an adjective
>le forcing down my throat cliche
god please never let me read this kid's writing ever again
based marcel
A thread about some teen rym celeb gets more posts and serious discussion than the majority of actual music threads. Jesus christ. Way to go /mu/.
>>64411487
If you remember The Tourist, this shouldn't surprise you.
