is it a good idea to talk about music on a first date?
Yes because I don't get triggered by and insult someone else's taste in real life situations.
i tried talking about van morrison and she said she loved the doors
>>63870149
if you're not a sperg about it then i don't see why not
I became a shut-in because I couldn't stop talking about music to girls
>>63870149
Yes but don't be an autist and try to one up her and DEFINITELY do not test her knowledge.
>>63870149
Obviously, just don't be autistic about it. The fact you have to ask this is cause for concern.
>>63870149
>what's that, anon?
>you don't listen to any female musicians?
>what's wrong with you?
>>63870228
I do to. Grimes, Marina, the list goes on...
Depends on how much you mutually like music and to what end it's being discussed.
If you're just bringing it up to namedrop shit she has no idea about or commandeer the conversation to something you're knowledgeable about, count on her not calling you back.
>>63870178
kek
>tfw can't stop trying to recommend girls things hoping I'm the one that turns them on to something they love and forever associate it with me
i'm just trying to live forever
>>63870298
This isn't difficult at all. Are you joking.
>>63870193
Same. I officially stopped talking to girls about music when one thought Slither was a Velvet Underground song
If youre a musician or a producer and shes not.. Hell No especially if your asking us here on 4chan i could only imagine what your music collection is like compared to hers.. But this is 4 chan so u dont need to listen to me senpai.
>>63870320
+1
Of all the things to connect with with a girl, music is the easiest.
>with with
Fucking hate that
If you're not a dumbass trying to shoehorn muh music into her life and have an organic conversation like we do here(kinda, sometimes) its not hard
>>63870149
Go for it if you get the feeling she likes music. Lotsa times people will just appreciate you being passionate or interested in something even if they don't like the same stuff/genre. Just dont talk about 4chan I know you will want to.
>>63870149
yeah
>>63870505
don't talk about /mu/, every other board is fair game
>>63870527
/mlp/?
>>63870527
Yes, talk about the goddamn hentai board. Or the mlp board. Or fuckin yaoi.
For fucks sake do NOT mention 4chan if you ever want to feel a titty
>>63870320
>>63870468
it seems like every one i talk to has very specific tastes.
i dont talk to them very often desu.
Ya know, maybe if I hadn't been born in the Internet age I could've been saved from cultivating such an esoteric, culturally irrelevant taste for film, music, and literature that I could actually relate to people when they talk about songs on the radio or the newest capeshit or whatever.
I'd like to meet a girl whose personality would reflect similar interests/quirks/anxieties what have you, but I really feel like an alien to American youth culture.
/blogpost
As far as for me, no. I wouldn't bring up music unless she's comfortable only talking about her taste in music. With some grasp of her taste, I exchange recommendations with friends or girls I'm talking to with good success, but having an organic back and forth about music isn't realistic for someone like me outside of a forum or blog or whatever.
>>63870468
Yeah. It's important to keep in mind with casual participants of music culture that you're tailoring your recommendations to them and their taste, not how they'll see you after they know you're aware of post-avant jazzcore and actually listen to it for pleasure.
>>63870570
If the women you talk to are as pretentious as your average /mu/tant I wouldn't want to talk about music with them either.
>>63870562
I think you're trying to bamboozle me, anon.
I will try opening a discussion with a girl by asking her thoughts about the my little pony board on 4chan
Ask her what her interest are and then if you're not a fucking autist you'll be able to strike up a conversation with her on things she enjoys which will make it seem like you love the same things.
This will make you more attractive to her and get you into those pantaloons.
>>63870570
like the other anon said, if they can see that youre passionate about music, that will in itself catch their interest.
Just be kind. Don't put down their tastes unless you have the sort of personality that can pull it off without being offensive. Don't rec stuff out of left field for them, stay somewhat close to what they like, or show them music that's interesting but likeable.
One time a QT coworker asked me what I listened to bc I always had headphones in and I literally introduced her to music beyond top40. I showed her Beach house and MF doom and wild nothing, I explained genres she's never heard of, and she thought it was the coolest thing. It was fucking amazing. She had a kid tho so I didn't do anything about it.
Just play some interesting/unabraisive music in the car or whatever to get the conversation started and give her time to get into it
>>63870583
Honestly you're overthinking how a woman will react to your hobby.
Music isn't a pastime that people find to be weird so feel free to share strong opinions as long as you're not trying too hard to be a vulgar and snooty contrarian.
I actually enjoy (some) pop music so that is a good talking point to use for breaking an awkward pause in conversation.
If you have interesting things to say about a popular artist she will usually find it funny or intriguing. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
I wouldn't recommend discussing Vivaldi or Satie in depth or telling her how you wept to Pink Moon last month but many people have opinions about music past the generic "I listen to X, how about you?"
I would suggest capitalizing on that rather than just giving recommendations and namedropping obscure artists for indie cred.
>>63870723
What would you recommend for someone that only listens to hip hop like lil Kim and Beyonce?
chicks dig someone whos passionate, just dont be a little autist and start talking about post-hardcore vapornoise or other meme shit, keep it light but interesting you autist. does she also claim to like music? thats common ground if so
spoiler: dont get mad at grils for having shit taste. in time, a gf will copy your taste if you did right anyway
>>63870723
Now that you mention it I'm realizing how many girls I've actually connected with via music.
One time I was chilling with some potheads, I don't smoke so I had a headphone in just listening to some jams and girl asks to see my zune(this was years ago) and when she scrolls through my artists she's like mind blown about how many artists I have. She added me on Facebook so I could recc music and we ended up fucking. That was neat.
Then there's that QT coworker I just mentioned,
And this one time at a bar I kinda new this girl and we were flirting around and u took her phone to scroll through her music to straight up judge her(she actually had dope taste for a girl) and I joked around about certain artists, clowned her about some shitty songs, gave her a 2/10. It was all just drunken fun, she was really into it. She gave me her number right in front of her boyfriend so that was eh. I think I got her in trouble because he was a piece of shit with punk band tats.
And one time a girl messaged me on tumblr and we get to talkin, mostly about music. We've gone on a couple dates and she's trying to be my gf but nah bruh.
It is absolutely poaaible, if not recommended course of action to talk about music with girls.
I just want u to b happy bby
>>63870862
1. Underground/trap/fka twigs/90's hip hop. Anything that's a lateral move.
2. Stop trying to use music as a point of connection.
Is she black? Try indie. For some reason black girls like indie rock bands
>>63870822
Fäm it's not just that I'm not interested in pop culture relevant stuff. I'm seriously unaware of nearly all of it.
Any opportunity that presents itself for me to recommend/"namedrop" anything is more conducive to conversation of mutual input, but I really don't give a shit about indie cred. I'm not about to whip out a list of my top ten EAI albums of the last ten years or anything like that, but if a girl says she's into emo or new wave or something then I'd be interested in seeking further common ground. Does that make sense?
>>63870970
Stop trying to connect with people based on common interests. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but you can very easily have a meaningful conversation about what you like and listen to what she likes without actually knowing, let alone liking, the same shit. Literature and music and film are inherently interesting topics.
Whenever I'm in a car with my close friends we all literally fight the whole time because we don't like each other's music, but we like each other's company
>>63870970
It sounds like you might just want to avoid music unless she asks you about it, then you can just say you like "70s and 80s music" and then ask her for some recommendations.
Conversely, if you want to get into your local music scene I'm sure you could meet women with your more niche tastes. I'm not too familiar with the emo revival scene.
>>63870562
could taxi driver and talk about /gif/
>>63870969
I see what you mean I'm not spending time to learn about these genres for the purpose of discussion but what kind of indie like AM, Imagine Dragons kind of stuff?
Probably not, desu.
Let's be realistic, most of you probably can't talk about music without sounding pretentious as fuck. So unless you have the charisma to pull that off (by having a good sense of humor about it or whatever) then it'll just come off poorly.
Also unless you happen to chance upon someone with pretty similar taste then it'll be a bad conversation anyway.
>I like ____
>Never heard of them. What about ___?
>I think I heard one of their songs once.
>Oh cool.
Plus in general most people here need to move away from substituting music taste for actual personality.
>>63871175
this
there's a lot more to life
most people aren't gonna care a whole lot what you listen to, which means they'll be especially annoyed if it's all you want to talk about
>>63871117
Well it's painting with a broad brush, so yes and no. Some will some won't.
I've noticed the most common denominators are 1. Upbeat 2. Heavily driven, almost dancy 3. Emotive lyrics
Try the strokes, FOALS first album, two door cinema club, the Maccabees, idk just indeh shit. Girls like music that's likeable. That sounds stupidly obvious, but I feel like we forget that a lot
>>63871059
Yeah that's what I explained here >>63870583
>I'm not too familiar with the emo revival scene.
lol likewise. Thank God it's dead!
>>63871056
>Whenever I'm in a car with my close friends we all literally fight the whole time because we don't like each other's music, but we like each other's company
That's not normal. I regularly feed recs to my lads and we all chilling when we go for a cruise.
>Literature and music and film are inherently interesting topics.
(not true btw)
There's never an appropriate time for me to start espousing my leniencies towards pessimistic philosophy or how I can't enjoy a movie that I find particularly lacking in spatial awareness and composition. The same goes for music.
These are just topics for me to be vague and nondescript about without showing my spergy power level, so you're right in that I should give up looking for a girl with common interests.
>>63871199
>dub dubs confirms
if you're so one-dimensional that you can't steer a conversation outside of the topic of music then don't think your patrician tastes will woo her because she's gonna get bored of you
>>63871056
>Stop trying to connect with people based on common interests
sounds fake but this is honestly such good advice
>>63870209
dude yeah
I can't tell you how off-putting it is when a discussion about music turns into "oh yeah what's your favorite album by them? what are their other albums? name 5 songs" like god damn son I didn't come here for a pop quiz and I don't know why you think I care about you enough to lie about being into fucking eels
>>63870924
I think we've heard enough. It's obvious you're well above average in terms of looks and charisma.
>>63871286
lol
>>63871279
sometimes i worry that i'd sperg out talking to people but then i read what some people here might think is acceptable or good advice and i feel a little better
>>63870149
Of course. Only females whose favorite album is Trout Mask Replica are worthy mothers.
>>63871312
You can't build a relationship based on "whoa I can't believe we both like Game of Thrones!"
I mean it's super cool if you have shared interests in stuff like that
But there are way way more important things. Gotta look for personality first.
>>63871252
I'm 25 and I've known them since elementary school. We had the same taste in high school, but our tastes have drifted heavily.
>espousing my leniencies towards pessimistic philosophy
Nigga this is your problem. You need to get over yourself. Drop the verbiage because outside the academic forum it does nothing for you. I watch foreign films. I read Sartre and Kafka and Camus and McCarthy, but I don't converse about it and I don't use it as a barometer to measure against everything else.
Watch a goddamn cartoon
>>63871414
>>63871252
>espousing my leniencies towards pessimistic philosophy or how I can't enjoy a movie that I find particularly lacking in spatial awareness and composition
yeah dude you sound fucking miserable
chill out a little
>>63871386
yeah totally
i think 4chan had me thinking that way for a long time and it's still hard for me to get out of the frame of mind that this place puts me into
life is ridiculous and this place is like another universe
>19
>kissless virgin
>have like three friends that I see in intervals of three weeks to a month, one I'll probably never see again
im just chilling though
No but really months after having graduated high school I was really torn up about losing this social dynamic in which I had a vague acquaintance for every perceivable social circumstance I could find myself in but I've reached a point where I'm pretty comfortable alone now. Is there really anything I'm missing? I can't imagine in being worth the inevitable drama and heartbreak.
>>63871386
I genuinely feel like I have almost no identifiable characteristics that don't extend to my interests in some way.
>>63871414
>>63871436
I don't talk like this irl, this is just what my inner dialogue like given a keyboard and no verbal sperg filter. My point was just random bullshit like this is completely arbitrary and futile nonsense, not worth saying aloud.
>Watch a goddamn cartoon
But I don't like cartoons :(
>is it a good idea to talk about music on a first date?
A little bit. Music taste/knowledge can indicate that you're part of the same social class and cultural milieu, which is pretty important for things to work.
I girl doesn't have to be as hardcore as you in her music taste - and she in all likelihood won't be - but you still can get a sense if her tastes suggest she's from a compatible social world with similar haunts, aspirations and destinies.
Keep the conversation on music light and fun though... as with all conversations, it should really be more about sharing good emotions between each other (while, for this first conversation on the subject, maybe 'inadvertently' displaying that you have compatible tastes and high social capital).
Don't geek out and go into lots of trivia, trying to be too deep or hardcore. Girls really don't care about that. Maybe if they're really sophisticated then advanced taste might mean something to them (there is a social level where it can be a signifier of class), but even then it shouldn't be too geeky. Save the geeking out for your male friends.
>>63871442
>19
>kissless virgin
>few friends
>almost comfortably alone
>decided that relationships not worth it
>no identifiable characteristics
are you me anon?
>>63870149
Talk about memes
>>63871519
See, don't see it as futile or arbitrary nonsense because not all of it is. I used to think exactly like you and I was miserable. There is a likeable aspect in (almost) every artistic work; a relatable character, certain use of color, cinematography, film scores. Sometimes you just have to look for it. Try. There's a difference between artistic merit and what you may consider "good"
>but I don't like cartoons
Bitch everybody likes cartoons
You can't tell me there isn't a single animated work that you dig. That's such a huge genre
>>63871580
>Music taste/knowledge can indicate that you're part of the same social class and cultural milieu
you've been on /mu/ too long if you believe that buddy
it's not the 18th century
knowing how to play the pianoforte isn't a sign of an educated person
>>63871585
Yeah, you're my twin flame. Neither of us are ever alone so long as we're both alive. <3
No but really, I suspect the depression/solitude to catch up to me at some point in the future. I'm just causing for now though.
>>63871648
I agree but it's still not conducive to like, a date setting if you're not even aware that thing.
>You can't tell me there isn't a single animated work that you dig.
Oh well I assuming a distinguishment between cartoons and otherwise animated films. Yeah, there's some animated short films I like.
>>63871662
he sounds more to me like someone who's stuck in a sociological perspective
perhaps in a very broad sense people of a lower social class won't have as much interest in "the arts," but that's really reductive and shouldn't be used as a guiding principle for one-on-one interactions
i'm not a sociology major or anything, but that's how i understand it
>>63871585
>>63871694
*cruising
>>63871662
Sorry but in the world I live in it absolutely does matter. I'm not talking about little distinctions between your average middle class types within the suburbs, though.
If you came into my scene with typical pleb taste... well, you wouldn't even find yourself there in the first place. But then aesthetic knowledge is the bread and butter of my crowd so yeah. But I guess that is to say that sorry but yeah at a certain class level actually the taste gets pretty advanced.
>>63871286
I had a bigass post about how you're wrong but I'm on a phone and it decided to do dumb phone things and delete it
Anyways, yes I'm above average, but I owe some of that to /fa/. Don't dismiss that board. No I'm not charismatic, I used to sperg out as bad as the rest of you, but I learned to just stop giving a shit and that girls are just people.
>>63871704
I AM a sociology major and I still think he's fucking wrong
>>63871736
how pretentious can you possibly be to think like this
what "scene" is so inaccessible that it can only be accessed by the upper class
music is generally one of the things you can develop an interest in without needing to have a particular habitus
>>63871694
>date setting
Don't do that if it's a difficult environment.
Do a thing that engages both of you so you aren't relying so heavily on conversation.
Also, don't talk a lot, but when you do sound intelligent but not pompous, empathetic but not impotent. Often times girls will be drawn to a quiet guy out of curiosity, especially if he's intelligent. You just have to figure out what works for you
Don't like a girl for the things she likes, like her because she's chill and a qt
>>63871798
Not trying to be snooty but I feel like I know these things. I'm a kissless virgin, it's not that I've never been on a date before.
But yeah, like the other anon said I don't have the energy to allocate to a relationship at this point in my life. A couple more years of solitude and maybe I'll feel up for it.
>>63870193
I became a shut in because my first crush in junior high liked daft punk and I got too excited :[
>>63870149
no women are dumb as shit, stick to vacuous topics like traditional political systems, veganism and netflicks
