>pulls up in his nice-ish car with his girlfriend who's about 15 years younger than he is
>didn't know what to bring food wise so he just brought bread from Panera
>is this weird combination of withdrawn but talkative, basically he doesn't initiate conversations but when someone asks him something he'll talk for a while
>tells old stories about life and stuff at dinner
>sits outside by himself and drinks beer
>tells "dad" jokes to the kids even though he's never had kids
>leaves towards the end of the party, with just a little announcement
>texts you that they're showing up soon
>10 months later they arrive with no warning
>walk around high, eating all your food
>join conversations only to recite what people say in gregorian chant
>take off shirts and leave without telling anyone
>rape explodes your ass gayly, rape accident
>stands awkwardly in the corner
>stares at feet the entire time
>pukes on your dog and stumbles out of the party hammered after 2 and a half beers
Someone post the HHH one, please
>flirts with all the girls while his wife talks about how loyal he is
>arrives 30 minutes late
>makes awkward racist joke
>takes over the music and plays terrible /mu/core albums
>drinks too much and tries too hard to impress people
>tries to hit on every girl at the party
>awkwardly stands in the corner by the end
>posts DUDE CRAZY PARTY LMAO on facebook the next day
>>61242663
shut the hell up
>dies
There's not one single funny post ITT
>>61242686
lmfao
>>61242728
go ahead
>>61242255
more like
>drinks too much tea
>arrives uninvited
>brings a vegan meal and scoffs at all the meat dishes
>plugs his phone into the speakers and plays death grips exclusively
>tries to explain the "trap influenced beats" to anywho who will listen
>proceeds to get too drunk and shouts internet memes to everyones displeasure
>starts to awkwardly freestyle in his Cal voice
>keeps on drinking
>finally starts to break down and complain abou this "feminazi" wife leaving him and talks about the plights of straight white men
>tries to redpill everyone at the party before being kicked out
>yells TRANS...ition before walking out the door, winking at everyone
>>61242809
I feel like this is exactly what would happen
>>61242809
He isn't with the black girl anymore? what happened ;(
>>61242798
>writes his letters in kanji
>arrives early to help out with the baking
>>61242845
she infringed on his male rights and then fantony murdered her
>Eats his dinner away from everybody else and sits outside quietly while looking over the landscape
>>61242686
>injects heroin and says how good it is
>dies
>>61242951
>Makes jokes that you don't understand but are still somehow funny
>punches you when you invite her in
>talks about Iceland the entire damn time
>fucks everybody at the party
> is wallflower
> thinks about his mom the entire time
> plays sad music on banjo
> quietly leaves with guy
>>61242951
>Gets asked to play Wonderwall on the token acoustic guitar that is always at the party
>Replies in some haiku, picks up the guitar
>Sings some Björk song to the Wonderwall theme, all in haiku form.
>hear his music blaring outside before he even enters
>his car is just blaring yeezus
>talks in a loud voice attempting to control all conversations directed to him that night
>while telling you your party is nice, says that Rihanna had better ones
>whines about his favorite meal not being there, even though he brought nothing, and accuses everyone there of hating black people because lack of his favorite food
>yeezus keeps blaring from his car
>falls asleep on your sink even though this party was a formal gathering that ended at 11pm.
>shows up
>realizes it's a pool party
>nervously and silently sneaks back out the door
>>61243011
i would attend this party
>>61242255
that sounds a lot like me tbqh
>>61242255
I feel like everyone has an uncle like this.
>shows up
>gets trapped in the closet
>Calls to get invited to your party
>You politely apologized and say it's a small party and only family and close friends are invited
>Party proceeds on like normal, everyone having a good time
>20 minutes in your hear the faint screaming of "JAMIE STEWART" outside
>looking through the window you see Jamie charging towards your front door only in tight whites
>He starts slamming his body into the front door as he continues to scream "JAMIE STEWART" obviously drunk out of his mind
>He somehow breaks down the door and runs to the bathroom
>He smears makeup all over his face and chest and comes out yelling OHHHHH
>He runs up to the only black friend and gets on his knees and yells into his crotch "BLACK DICK BLACK DICK BLACK DICK"
>You try to restrain him, but he seems to have oiled himself up as well with some water based lube
>He runs back to the bathroom and locks himself in the bathroom
>Later you hear a scream and a bang as he yells "I TRIEED SO HARD TO BE AS SWEET AS I CAN BE"
>You get the bathroom door open and he has clogged the shower with a massive poop, which he also used to write on the wall "THIS IS THE WORST PARTY EVER, I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR FOREHEAD OPEN WITH A ROOFING SHINGLE"
>>61244360
i choked with laughter. Is this pasta?
>>61244360
episk
>>61244527
Naw just made it up now
>>61244671
good one anon, can i haha copy it :_)
>>61244687
Yee
>>61244695
thanks mate haha happy christmas everybody : )
>>61242993
>>61243066
>shows up in flip flops and karate pants
>gets more and more drunk as the night goes on and making everyone laugh and have fun
>sings lil wayne on the karaoke machine
>jumps over the couch for no reason and knocks over christmas tree
>is asked to go home but is invited to the new year's party
>>61242809
I have assumed for awhile that he has been divorced but I can't find any proof of it. He just doesn't wear his ring and he hasn't talked about her or featured her at all.
>comes on time
>depressed
>drinks an extraordinary amount of beer, manages not to get too drunk
>halfway through christmas dinner, he breaks out into tears
>broke after disbanding lcd soundsystem
>starts blabbering about being broke and lonely
>mom takes him out into the other room
>leaves, eyes flooded with tears
>don't hear about him for another 5 months
>he's started a crazy new math rock group
>pretty much the same as Mark Kozelek except gets a bit too drunk and starts ranting about how much he hates Andy Sandberg
>Arrives early in order to help you set up, even brings some of his neat home-made decorations
>Adds sense of merriment to party
>Somehow manages to get everyone singing Christmas carols at the end of the night while he sits in the center with a saw
>Eats all of your peanut butter and falls asleep next to the tree
>>61245250
Follow him on Instagram, they're still married.
>>61245251
more like
>shows up already drunk
>starts bragging about how cool New York USED to be
>tries to hit on your underaged cousin
>eats dinner and then immediately leaves to go bar-hopping with people half his age.
>>61242980
underrated post
>>61245251
>he's started a crazy new math rock group
James pls
>arrives on time
>keeps trying to get into a conversation by making little comments on what others say, but does it too quietly and ends up talking to himself
>ends up just awkwardly standing near people listening to what they are saying
>plays a reharmonized version of an x-mas song that leaves everybody speechless and depressed
>arrives slightly late
>is incredibly quiet and polite to everyone
>just smiling softly and nodding whenever someone is talking to him
>doesn't really involve himself in any conversations
>sits by himself in the corner of the living room, listening to everyone else talk about things
>dinner comes around and he eats politely, still not really speaking up or anything
>somebody says something that offends him or something at some point during dinner and his forced smile leaves his face completely
>the rest of the night he looks really pissed off
>whenever someone tries talking to him, he responds with "yeah, sure" in a really passive aggressive tone of voice
>eventually somebody pushes him over the line and he goes ballistic
>shouting at the person, trying to make them feel bad, going on about how much of a prick they are
>this draws everyone's attention
>he starts to get flustered and eventually goes back to sit down in the corner
>flips out about how people are paying so much attention to him now
>leaves the party without saying goodbye
>>61246328
That sounds like me everyday t b h
>>61248468
Meh, old Gira was better
>kick the shit out of everyone on the party
>arrives with some cheap looking invite that just says "you are invited" on it
>starts drinking all this champagne that he brough himself
>begins yelling into his phone whilst talking to his mom apparently
>just starts crying
>then he starts laughing and making comments about how all the faces in the subway "look the fucking same"
>leaves a notebook titled "my poetry" open to a signature section and says "mail it to me in the morning" as he leaves through the back door
>arrives late
>sit on her phone for the whole day shitposting on /mu/ about spotify
>only looks up to say 'no thanks' when somebody offers her food
>sneaks off to thumb through your DVD collection and snaps all the movies staring jake gyllenhaal
>keeps going off the bathroom to record demos
>doesn't want to leave because of the news teams outside
>tries to leave through the back window but breaks it
>sues for damages
>turns up with the lads
>plays some beer pong, laughs a lot
>scruffs her hair up and gets dancing, busts out some air guitar moves
>throws herself onto a chair after she breaks a sweat, leans to the guy next to her she hasn't met yet
>breathes in very strongly and wags her tongue about when she exhales. Whispers into his ear, "get the fuck out of my country".
>goes to her car and pulls out a submachine gun
>>61249436
why is she so perfect familiana
>>61249436
hey she's actually kinda cute with slightly longer hair like that whoa
>>61248468
>all while flexing his muscles
>>61244360
I laughed so Fucking hard at this
>>61244360
holy shit this might be the funniest shit I've seen on /mu/ in a while
>shows up quietly, doesn't drink or talk to anyone
>plays his copy of 'be my baby' on vinyl for the next 5 hours on repeat
>>61244360
