Musical artists you would invite to your christmas party and how they would act.
>shows up a little late
>says sorry like 10 times
>all the seats are taken at the table so he has to sit on a little stool at the corner
>he doesn't mind
>talks to your parents about the eighties
>everyone watches elf on tv since there are a lot of young kids there
>pays extremely close attention to the story
>clenches his fist and sighs furiously when someone in the room talks
>laughs politely when someone jokes about him flexing his muscles
>drinks every drop of booze in the house but does not get drunk
>leaves att 11 pm due to family stuff
>>61198527
I don't celebrate christmas tbqh :)
>>61198527
Does he cry afterwards? Or did he do plenty of that already at home?
>>61198527
>Gira sings an acoustic song about killing a drunk homeless man in a rundown part of NY in the 80s and then opening him up and shoving his head in his insides on Christmas Eve
If you've read The Consumer you'll catch my drift.
>>61198527
This is literally George Costanza you fucking dip.
>shows up on time
>walks in telling jokes and steals the host's thunder
>drinks all your beer
>sit down to watch Rudolph
>cries
>sings an incredibly blitzed out version of White Christmas, still nails it
>nobody knows whether to laugh or feel incredibly sad for him
>he passes out on the couch
it would be more like this
>gets up on couch to propose a toast
>someones talking during his toast
>steps on their fingers
>>61198527
Feels pretty accurate t b h. :')
>>61198623
>worshipping a large aluminium pole
>chastising the guests
>wresting contest
Festivus seems like something Gira would celebrate
Doesn't show up cause he's dead.
>>61198623
Is this the new meme?
>Show up late and uninvited
>They're friends so you let them stay
>Get drunk and rant about the upper class and David Cameron
>Eat a shit load of twiglets
>Scare the kids
>Pass out on each other and spend the night in the spare room
>>61198888
verdammt...
>>61198888
damn....
also, checked
>rocks up on time, really polite to everyone
>really quiet at dinner table, makes a few jokes here and there
>asks what kind of trees the furniture is made out of
>later in the night engages in deep discussion with other guests about zen buddhism and nature and stuff
>instead of watching a christmas movie goes home early so he can watch episodes of twin peaks he taped back in the 90s
>>61198527
>shows up half an hour early and offers to help with the last touches on the christmas meal
>will later take most of the credit for making it
>drinks a lot of booze and gets moderately drunk
>asks people if they want to hear him drum something, which everyone politely declines
>compliments every piece of christmas decoration, gift and piece of furniture and comments on how the tree is the best he's ever seen multiple times over the course of the evening
>stays right until a family member of the host gets a stroke, upon which he silently sneaks out when the ambulance arrives
>Shows up fashionably late
>Brought homemade art project as a gift
>Sits by the end of the table so that he can take part in any dinner conversation he might be interested in
>Takes two plates of food because he's feeling "plural"
>Still only eats half of both and says he wasn't very hungry
>Tell "walks in to a bar" jokes about old cult-status directors, writers and political figures that no has heard about
>Tries to pick up your sister by offering her olives
>Spends the rest of the night at the kids table trying to have an intellectual conversation
>Helps with the cleaning up for a while and then leaves the house in a stumbling manor after having said goodbye to everyone several times
>Show up on time
>Is really quiet and only mumbles to his close friends
>Goes to the other room to look at your interesting stuff
>Everyone asks him to sing and play some Christmas songs but he gets to scared and leaves early.
>show up late, surprisingly sober
>over the course of the night get more inebriated, although nobody ever sees him with a drink in his hand
>talk about having fucked so many people, about being born in this town, and how his shit reverb is
>gets really agitated at Christmas dinner
>really drunk at this point
>pulls out a gasoline can, and a match, and torches the place
>Shows up 15 mins early, but brings a bottle of wine and says a quiet but nevertheless welcoming hello.
>Introduces him to all the family and relatives over for the holidays. He's nodding, but you can tell he is struggling to remember all their names.
>At dinner my aunty will burst out "oh - now I know, you're that guy from Little Miss Sunshine!"
>Dano will wince but cover with "Yup, that was me" and a polite smile.
>"What was it like working with that guy from the office?"
>He shrugs
>Silence will fill the room besides the smatter of cutlery and chewing.
>Family will then put on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
>Dad's already drunk
>Offer Dano to come hang out in my room and have a smoke.
>We get gloriously high and talk shit while listening to his Mook EP
>Ask him about Zoe
>He gets uncomfortable
>starts sweating
>Leaves abruptly
>I put on Revolutionary Road and skip to the nude scene with Zoe Kazan
>Masturbate furiously
>>61199518
Haha classic
>Texts me saying he'll be there in 5 mins
>Actually arrives 1.5 hours later just as family is sitting down to eat
>We have to shift chairs around to make him a space
>completely unapologetic in disposition
>spreads himself out over the space of the table and holds dominion over the table conversation
>My mom asks which band he's in, trying to pass the time
>Rolls his eyes, makes the loudest ground ever
>begins to pretend the question was never asked, grumbling to himself about "how the fuck has she never heard of Neutral Milk"
>My dad confronts him and asks if he's been drinking
>He stands up punches a wall and proceeds to threaten my grandfather with a broken bottle whilst repeating: "HEY ARE YOU RECORDING ME?"
>>61199617
Fucking Jeff
10/10 thread. This is gold.
>shows up with monthly girlfriend
>talks with dad about his workshop
>dad shows him around
>the two are in a deep conversation about power tools
>dinner is ready
>barely eats anything
>drinks full bottle of red wine
>laughing with dad about power tool jokes
>sits down to watch hockey
>dad wants to watch american football
>the two stare each other in the eyes
>joel's tattoo glows
>dad's secret butt tattoo glows
>the two transform into massive monsters
>epic battle in toronto
>i arrive after going grocery shopping
>"aw cool it's deadmau5!"
>>61198542
so how do you feel about israel and palestine shlomo
>Doesn't show
>Shows up late and already a tad drunk
>Tells a load of funny jokes and stories
>Starts to chat up your cousin
>They have sex on your bed
>She runs off
>>61200239
That madman, I should've known he wouldn't show.
>shows up with all his sound gear
>samples sound of plates and utensils clicking and people eating
>leaves
>>61198542
Fucking kike
I'm doing Stephen O'Malley
>Shows up right as the clock hits the hour
>The host offers to take his druid robe
>He shakes everyone's hand (including the children) and introduces himself
>He goes to sit on the couch and engages in conversation about what he does for a living while Frosty the Snowman plays on the tv
>He's noticeably uncomfortable about talking about his line of work
>He awkwardly tries to drop the subject by cranking the volume on the tv and saying how this movie is fantastic
>Everyone sits down for dinner and he offers to say grace
>His eyes start glowing white while he chants a hymn to the Elder Gods in a dead and forgotten language
>The misses says that was nice dear
>One of the family members tells a joke
>Stephen says how much his "buddy Dylan" would love that joke and gives him a call to come over
>He asks if anyone is interested in buying some of his paintings he has in the back of his solar powered hatchback
>No takers, and he dismisses the subject like it never happened
>Halfway through the dinner, he gets up to go to the kitchen for some ginger ale
>He's in there for an awfully long time
>One of the kids finds him with his head in the freezer while rocking back and forth slowly
>Asks him what he's doing
>He pulls his head out fast and makes eye contact with the poor boy
>He then proceeds to stuff his jacket with dinner rolls and exits through the window frantically, thanking the boy for the lovely dinner
>The family finds a microphone in the freezer
>The robe hanging up by the door is now gone
>Dylan never showed up
>>61200401
my sides
>>61200239
Best one so far
>>61199054
>>shows up half an hour early and offers to help with the last touches on the christmas meal
>>will later take most of the credit for making it
kek
>Turns up the day after Christmas dinner
>Makes a large fuss outside, blaming his mix up of the event dates on you.
>Feel pretty back for him and bring him in anyway
>Reheat him some left overs and try and give him some simple compliments about his recent venture into film scoring
>He starts sobbing loudly
>Screaming the lyrics to "Hurt"
>He kicks a hole in your fence as you ask him to leave.
>Shows up
>Sues your family and takes your home.
>crashes car on his way to the party
>dies
>>61198527
>drinks every drop of booze in the house but does not get drunk
>>61198606
These are the best.
>>61198888
edgy humor onlime
>Shows up 2 hours early, hasn't showered, half drunk already
>Makes an obscene joke about his wife while grabbing his junk
>Asks where the wine cellar is
>Disappears for a few hours, comes back in the middle of dinner
>Shirtless he pulls up a chair to the table, uncomfortably in between your grandparents
>Mumbles something about your grandpa being a guard at concentration camps during WW2
>Silence for about 30 minutes until he vomits on the floor
>Says he will clean it up and goes to get some towels
>Comes back 20 minutes later with a guitar and starts playing Never Meant
>Your father knocks him out and throws him into the snow on the front lawn outside.
>tfw always drunk at parties and making edgy jokes.
Someone do Jamie Stewart
>>61198527
>>61199242
>>61199370
>>61200239
>>61201767
holy fucking shit
>>61198888
damn...
>>61199666
can we just take a second to admire these beautiful, satanic trips
>shows up right on time with gf
>tells everyone he has gone vegan
>okay I'll have some turkey
>doesn't talk to anyone for an hour like something terrible happened even though literally nothing fucking happened
>later acts like he appreciates being around people
>asks if he can get a gin & tonic
>sure
>leaves bc he didn't get any lemon in it
