Fellow Pitchfork patricians, it is once again the time for our nightly countdown for Pitchfork's 5 new reviews to be updated on the site at 1am eastern time.
10.0?
0.0?
Best New Music?
Best New Reissue?
8.0+ with no BNM?
A shitty set of 7's and below?
Weird Al eternal BNM incoming hypetrain!
Noctourniquetcourtsney Barnett Review?
Ian FUCKIN' Cohen?
Ryan "THE TASTEMAKER" Dombal?
Lindsay "qt feminist" Zoladz? [retired patrician, memory lives on forever]
Jayson "8.7" Greene?
Larry "retired BNM godfather" Fitzmaurice?
Craig "Meme Rap" Jenkins?
qt Kim "retired Meal Goddess now at Noisey" Kelly?
Grayson "Grizzly" Currin?
Brian "Backup" Howe?
Mark "the elder statesman" Richardson?
Evan "IS GARAGE ROCK DEAD" Minsker?
Meaghan "retired trap queen" Garvey?
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?
Zoe "¡DALE!" Camp?
Philip "Electronic Wizard” Sherburne?
Laura "Sun Kil Buffoon" Snapes?
Will someone dethrone the holy quadrology of Kendrick Lamar/Sufjan Stevens/Jamie xx/Tame "the Instagram of rock bands" Impala's 9.3 for AOTY?
More importantly, will someone dethrone the dynamic duo of Titus Andronicus and Beach House for best 8.1 of the year?
OFFICIAL and accurate 2015 BNM Tally: 44
The most wonderful time of the night, every night, right now. Here it is, the nightly P4K thread. Time to get comfy.
>P4K Collection Rar (Over 300 deleted reviews, pics of every staff member, etc.)
https://mega.nz/#!zoQGBCYK!evBav1uwKekImmse6g35z2lRgdGXxxUh8nyVSTyShl0
>Tonight's Top Stories
- "How Much a Dollar Cost" is now President-core
-Martin Shkreli Bought Once Upon a Time in Shaolin
- 2015 is almost over. Let's reflect on the best and worst albums of the year.
-This thread hypes and supports Pusha T, Baroness, and David Bowie.
>>60931841
First for 0PN AOTY
When are they gonna post the list?
>>60931841
>OFFICIAL and accurate 2015 BNM Tally: 44
no.
>>60931841
Shit
BNM count should be 45
Forgive me /mu/
Last two digits are Cudi's score
>8.7 BNM from Garvey
kid cudi 3.0
Calling 8.0+ but no BNM for Rick Ross' Black Market
as promised, here's the updated 2015fork gif with Jeremih
>>60931934
i forgive you, friend
>>60931990
is it 8.0+ worthy? havent heard it yet
>>60931876
they'll probably start monday
I work for pitchfork and I want to let you guys in on a little secret because this is anonymous so no one will ever know who posted this.
For those of you not familiar with this guy, his name is Ian Cohen. He is widely considered to be the weakest writer at pitchfork. But the reason why he's still employed is not because of his content (it's garbage) but because he, for whatever reason, seems to get the most page hits.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you guys about what happened this one time in p4k-fest 2015. I had to attend against my will and I saw this guy in the flesh for the first time. First of all, if you find this picture as enraging as I do, you will find it hard to stand still when you're within 50 feet of this doughy anorexic paul giamatti looking kyke but I digress. I was front center for Bjork and I see this fucking prick pushing through hoards of crowds to get to where I was. As he was trudging through the crowd he was holding the tag on his shirt out that said 'Pitchfork employee Ian Cohen' and was grunting and moaning "mhhmmmm, thats right, out of my fucking way. i own this place"
So this is when he cut in front of me and I had to resist every temptation in my body to disembowel this self-entitled prick who thinks he's where he's at because of his "skill" instead of nepotism. But I resisted because he reeked of alcohol and thought hey maybe he's too drunk to realize what a douche he's being.
So Bjork's set starts and he immediately starts shouting shit at her. "Yeahh!! Grip that mic like you gripped me for that 8.6!" and later on he shouted "Tell em abotu how you told me I fuck harder than Eldon and Barney combined!!"
She glanced nervously at the times he harassed her but she pushed on. Towards the end of he set he took his shirt off and put his right hand halfway down his pants so that his fingers were rubbing his pubes. She rushed her set and immediately left and he was still doing that for the next 20 minutes before he left.
>>60932094
so embarrassing that someone actually made this gif
>>60932124
will this new meme be posted in every nightly p4k thread?
>>60932124
Best New Meme
Song of the year predictions?
>>60932124
FUCK I HATE THIS FUCKING GAYS FACE SO FUCKING MUCH JUST WATCH THIS FUCKING VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsESSv3nJ7o AND TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCKING USE HIS FACE AS A FUCKING PUNCHING BAG AHGAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE'S NO WHERE NEAR AS FUNNY OR GOOD AS HE THINKS HE IS I FUCKING WANT TO KICK HIS TEETH IN AND MAKE HIM SWALLOW HIS OWN ORGANS FUCK THIS FUCKING PIECE OF FAGGOT SHI T HE MAKES ME SOO FUCKING ANGRY I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH I HOPE HE GETS TORTURED TO DEATH
>>60932237
Good Times #1, Hotline Bling #2, Realiti #3
>>60932246
>>60932124
>>60932246
best new memes
i hope you guys post in every p4k thread
also dead sara a shit
>>60932284
Alright easily in the top 5
>>60932246
Seen this get cited so many times when talking about this guy's supposed douchiness - am I the only one who thinks he's just being tongue-in-cheek here?
>>60932306
>
>>60932333
it's not about his douchiness its about how unfunny this faggot is being he thinks he's satirical and tongue in cheek but he just comes accross as that fag in class who is no where near as funny as he thinks he is
i want to watch an ian cohen snuff film
Calling it now:
>Subaru gets AOTY (it's an indie year, and they claimed that C&L was better than Illinois, which also got AOTY, while making no such claim about TPAB relative to GKMC).
>Kenny gets SOTY (because he already got video of the year and P4K are a bunch of cvcks anyway)
>>60932124
>>60932246
>>60932376
Meaghan "retired trap queen" Garvey is that you?
>>60932326
oh shit, you're absolutely right. shift everything i said down one, and put Alright at #1
>>60932456
no but megan is just as big of a fucking whore cunt as ian
>>60932237
>>60932284
>>60932326
>Alright not number 1
It definitely will be
>>60932502
JUST WHO ARE YOU?!
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?!?!?!?!?
i want zoe camp to hump my thigh
>>60932630
she is very beautiful indeeed
>>60932666
nice trips
tfw only 2 pics of her online :~(
>>60932729
Not lurking harder
>>60932863
damn...
>>60932887
>>60932896
what kind of music does she shitpost to?
>>60932896
thought this was my gf from the thumbnail but she's an arab
>>60932939
we get it, you have a girlfriend
>>60932896
yfw she's lurking this thread
Daily reminder that Kendrick was robbed
>>60932987
>>60932987
damn she qt heard she was les tho :(
>>60933016
>>60933037
>>60933016
>>60933037
>tfw you will never eat her ass
jdimsa
also thanks for the pics i will print them out and attach them to 3 or 4 of my pillows and surround myself with them when i go to bed so it feels like im cuddling with 4 zoes at once :3
>>60933059
>>60933081
who's she looking at
zoe DALE camp is the only active p4k writer i will ever respect
>>60933072
Stay creepy friend
>>60933097
no one cares about you or who you respect you fucking retard
>>60933081
post moar zoe's pls ;)
>>60933130
zoe im a grill btw and a lesbian too i live in chicago holler at me next time you're here and i can show you my pillows ;^)
>>60933132
*grabs by throat*
*throws u against the wall*
BACK THE FUCK OFF!?!?
>>60933175
i cant back off any farther because im against a wall :^)
>>60931841
Marcel came out with his Top 35 Albums of 2015 list today /mu/. Thoughts?
1. Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld - Never Were the Way She Was
2. John Wiese - Deviate From Balance
3. Sparkling Wide Pressure - Clouds & Stairs
4. Pinkshinyultrablast - Everything Else Matters
5. Lawrence English - Viento
6. Jessica Pratt - On Your Own Love Again
7. Lil Ugly Mane - Third Side of Tape
8. Mgła - Exercises in Futility
9. Tropes - Lit Divine
10. Infinity Frequencies - Into the light
11. Container - LP
12. Ought - Sun Coming Down
13. Waxahatchee - Ivy Tripp
14. Windows 98の - これは魂のために
15. Death Grips - Jenny Death
16. Nicolas Jaar - Pomegranates
17. Jade Statues - Executive Towers
18. Djwwww - U.S.M!
19. Project Pablo - I Want to Believe
20. James Matthew - EL SERENO TAPE
21. Jefre Cantu-Ledesma - A Year With 13 Moons
22. Joanne Robertson - Black Moon Days
23. Dean Blunt - Babyfather
24. Beach House - Thank Your Lucky Stars
25. Skylar Spence - Prom King
26. ЯΛRΞ ППUƉΞS - ЯΛRΞ ППUƉΞS
27. sleepdealer - 100′s
28. BLACK ANT - 7YL
29. Gora Sou - Ramifications
30. Thou & The Body - You, Whom I Have Always Hated
31. Sufjan Stevens - Carrie & Lowell
32. L'Orange & Jeremiah Jae - The Night Took Us in Like Family
33. Nickelus F - Trick Dice
34. Little Wings - Explains
35. 식료품groceries - HOUSEWARES
>>60933259
>those top 2 picks
P A T R I C I A N
>>60932550
but The Blacker the Berry and King Kunta are better songs? Even These Walls is better, and the last Kendrick song to be in the top 10 was BDKMV, which makes Alright look like a B-side
>>60933259
tmt-drone
>>60933132
>>60933319
>>60933319
damn....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
>>60933342
t-rexcellent
>>60933259
bed time
>>60933362
that feel when you will never t-rex her
>>60933362
>>60933395
that feel when you will never be her pussy
>>60933395
>>60933412
>>60933412
where are you getting these pics
>>60933448
>>60933471
>>60933492
is that the mira that thinks her tweets are worth publication?
>>60933492
That's all for now
>>60933520
thanks senpai
Dead Sara - Pleasure To Meet You 8.3 BNM
>>60933259
Never Were the Way She Was isn't even Stetson's best album tho
Daily reminder that +@ was robbed.
Zoe Camp saved the thread tonight, lads.
I don't even know why, because Good Times is so shit.
Alright wasn't even that good of a single or video (yet it won video of the year for whatever reason), knowing them they'll pick between Good Times and Alright.
They should give it to Hotline Bling, it's the one song that everyone goes nuts over, at parties. It's catchy, and probably the one song people are going to remember 5 years from now.
was there a low number of bnms? how does that reflect the "2015 is the best year for music" thing
>>60933887
Last year there was only 39 so
>>60933887
2003: 54
2004: 44
2005: 39
2006: 31
2007: 43
2008: 36
2009: 44
2010: 55
2011: 47
2012: 50
2013: 58
2014: 39
2015: 45
>>60933875
This isn't the most popular song of the year; it's the best song of the year
>>60934093
Who here remembers the Autumn BNM drought of 2013?
>>60933595
>implying Dimed Out won't be top 5 SOTY
>>60934190
Go to bed Patrick
>>60933519
her tweets literally are worth publishing. Don't be envious
>>60933259
I hate Marcel but having Pomegranates up there is pretty patrician.
>>60934348
I was surprised he liked John Wiese that much, too. He's incredibly difficult to get into.
dubs and Kid Cudi gets a 0.0
>>60934436
Anything but dubs and he gets a legit zero from melon and fork
Dubs and he gets BNM
>>60932488
>>60933300
>>60933499
>>60934166
Hey man, nice dubs
>>60932333
>>60932666
Bless these trips
>>60934166
Never forget
Who remembers the p4k memetronica of 2013??
Christmastime BNM flood
>>60934166
I only remember the summer drought of 2013.
NIGHTLY RUNDOWN
Baroness 8.5 BNM
Rick Ross 7.0
Lizzo 7.5
Pimp C 5.0
G-Eazy 6.7
>>60934628
damn, Baroness's being pretty damn consistent
Looks like Baroness PR team were fortunate enough to have purchased Conde Nast's Pitchfork BNM Promotional Package for the release of this album. Nice.
>>60934623
yeah my bad I though it was a bit later in the year than it was.
>>60934652
oh shut up
Red Album- 8.4
Blue Record- 8.5
Yellow & Green- 8.5 BNM
Purple- 8.5 BNM
Baroness confirmed for most consistent heavy band?
>>60934705
Lmao
>>60932094
Damn, this gif reminded me of how stellar a year in music this is
Much better than last year anyways
>>60934705
Definitely up there.How do Deafheaven, Swans and GY!BE all compare?
>>60933259
Go to bed marcel
>>60934725
very true. i just updated it for baroness' BNM as well
good night all!
>>60934742
All three have higher individual scores. Swans and Godspeed have more variance, but also a lot more records.
Place your bets now on how many more BNMs this year
don't forget to buy my shitty p4k meme shirt you fucking nerds
http://www.redbubble.com/people/saishoishoshit/works/15819450-9-3-best-new-shirt
If dubs What do you mean? gets in the top 10 SOTY
>>60932094
>TMLT isn't in this list
i demand one but with the 8.1s of the year
throw in reissues too cause fuck it
>>60934868
you didn't get dubs because Where Are Ü Now is actually the track that will be in the Top 10 AOTY
>>60934868
if dubs judgemental cunt SOTY
>>60934859
Does it come in Jamie XXL?
>>60933259
objectively better than whatever pitchfork will shit out at the end of the year and it's not even out there
>>60934833
probably only one or two more at most :(
hopefully we'll still get our nearly nightly best new reissue though.
>>60934920
yes it does big boy ;)
>>60934833
won't tomorrow probably be the last night of reviews for the year
>>60934161
not anymore to poptimist fork
>>60934190
didn't patrick have a bit of a shitfit after they panned TMLT? dimed out will definitely be there, but he'll be lucky to make it into the top 20, let alone top 5.
+@ is the only artist that comes to mind that has actually been robbed by p4k.
>>60934911
it's a decent track desu
>>60934981
5 BNMs tomorrow then
this is honestly so important.
>>60933259
Bunch of literally whos
>>60935943
plebplebplebplebplebplebpelbplebplebplbpelbepblebplepblebplepelbeplbepblebpelbeplbelp!!!!!!! fuck off to two door cinema club and bon iver you fucking normmie scum.
bonny bear
>>60934623
Couldn't have been a better record to break the drought though desu senpai
what a homosexual thread
>>60931841
Why does p4k only ever give bnms to US metal music? It's a really shallow way to cover the genre, especially when most of metal's innovation and creativity happens in Europe or Asia.
>>60933259
I like the list, but Marcel is a pretentious cunt with poor opinions, i've read a bunch of his reviews and they feel like he doesn't understand some of the albums at all.
