Actually gonna kill myself desu
Any albums I should listen to for the next week before I do it?
Why, OP?
no, music is meaningless
>>60470437
Listen to complete Viper discography.
this to be honest
>>60470437
>i'm gonna kill myself
>next week lol
knot your shoelaces
why not now
>>60470437
yea Mine https://soundcloud.com/ismael-conde-395360481/sets/esp-demos-1 oh and good luck
>>60470445
No friends, no money, no talents, terrible panic attacks daily (they make me feel like the left half of my body is numb), See stars constantly, can't afford to go to the doctor, Feel guilty about my past, and a few other things.
But most of all I'm just finding it really hard to feel. Like I'll try really hard to be happy but can't. Nothing's really bringing me joy at all and I don't really have much of an interest to keep living. I don't want to die but it seems like the only way to escape this. I just want to be comfortable.
>>60470455
cus music is pretty okay
>>60470524
I know you said no money, but move from wherever you currently are and leave all that shit behind
>>60470524
in the same boat here, OP. on one hand you can take it like everything is pointless since the eventual heat death of the universe will decompose any traces that we lived at all, but you still got time to do cool stuff before then. if you end it all now, then you lose the chance to ever get comfy. we can't make you act either way and we don't really appreciate everything you've gone through up to now, but if you stick with it then there's always a chance.
>>60470572
The thing is I just did that, and it didn't make anything better. The problem I'm having is that I could literally be getting a blowjob from 2 hot girls and I still wouldn't feel good. I also feel like i'm sort of out of it all the time. I've tried everything but no matter what I do I can barely find anything interesting.
>>60470524
and by appreciate i mean we don't really understand what you've been through so i can't talk with some kind of authority here. i've just lived my whole life without friends out of my anxiety disorders and i've accepted i'll probably never make any, but i just tell myself that's all right and keep moving on.
>>60470524
death is cool but you should just finish this life
don't kill yourself, you'll die eventually anyway
>>60470628
At least do a fuckload of psychedelic drugs before you go. Either you leave with a new purpose or you kill yourself anyway. I mean, you've got nothing to lose might as well give it a shot amirite?
>>60470524
and i don't have a wide enough sample to really hammer this home, but i'm sure it's normal not to be happy desu. i'm the same way, and since suffering is relative the best you can do is just be aware it could be worse, like you could be stuck in a dead-end entry level job at the age of 40 when you don't care at all about the work and you have no family to come home to. suffering is relative so it helps to put it in perspective. as for helping you out of that, i can't pretend to know how. same spot for me too.
>>60470746
I agree with this guy
>>60470628
try getting a blowjob from 2 hot guys
>>60470612
this desu
>>60470437
kill urself bro
They say "suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem" and that's real fucking cheesy man. But it's true. A lot of people that attempt suicide and fail say that at the last second they regretted it, myself included.
After recovery I would keep having these periods that I would want to. I almost did one night, and that shit is scary. I really don't know what stopped me.
And the truth is I'm still not better today. I'm still real fucking depressed, and I'm lonely and I feel like shit every fucking day.
But I don't try to kill myself anymore. I started trying to help people. This was part of just a long period in my life where I was trying to find meaning, but also I just listened to this album a lot. And that sounds fucking stupid, but it's a real human album. Something about that album really touches on the human soul. I don't know if it's the various emotions it sings about, or the last song that really gets to me about how we're all people, we're all the same. I dunno. But it's a real fucking human album. So I put a lot of effort in my life towards helping people. I volunteer, I donate spare money, I feed a guy outside McDonalds, just anything.
Please just try to keep going. It's tough, but try. I'm not close to good, but I'm a lot better than where I started.
>>60470437
Don't.
At least, try listen to this album, OP. Yes, it's about the affirmation and celebration of life in the face of death, and yes, it's all instrumental (there are essays and shit that go with it in the physical packaging but you can just get it on Bandcamp honestly).
And don't kill yourself, OP. Depression is just a state of mind induced by a chemical imbalance. I apparently have it too, though maybe not nearly as bad as you, but even though I sometimes fantasize about it, I know it's not a good idea. It's not a good idea for me and it's not a good idea for you. So don't do it, OP. Don't kill yourself. Listen to Death Blues instead.
>>60471280
>I sometimes fantasize about it
I meant
>suicide
After all, otherwise that sentence doesn't make sense haha
>>60471457
kys you too
giles corey
read the companion pdf too
>>60470437
Anyone buy the SUPER EXCLUSIVE vinyl pressing he supposedly did? I was pretty skeptical so I didn't get one.
>>60471534
i did that once. what a piece that was. i don't think there's anything in the world like it
there are some really cheap, but affordable antidepressants
try SSRIs. they also help against the panic attacks.
nobody wants to die. you also dont, you just dont want to live like that.
dont do it. life is not what you experience when you are sick.
https://terekke.bandcamp.com/album/-
This tbqh, it'll make death painless
Why not just be a hedonist, if you plan on killing that means you don't give a shit what happens so just go crazy
you think a girl is hot? say it to her face, don't have anything to lose. someone pisses you off? say it to their face? want to try a new hobby without previous knowledge? fuck it go for it
>>60472445
Not OP, but you don't really get it.
None of those things would provide much happiness or consolation anyway, even if they did go well. Depression prevents you from feeling happiness. It's like telling a color-blind person to see colors (it's an exaggerated analogy, but you get my point).
