Four years have passed since I become brony and decided to love and be loyal to Applejack, the pony who stoled my heart in that spring of 2012.
But now, that dragoness and her lustful reptilian eyes are tempting my soul and dragging me to sin. What I should do /mlp/? Am I the only one in this situation?
I can't take it anymore.
God, scalies are fucking cancer
>>27170252
This is obvious shitposting you tard
Confiteor Faust Omnipotenti (I confess to Faust almighty)
Beatae Twilight semper Virgini (To blessed Twilight forever Virgin)
Beato Larson archangelo (To the blessed archangel Larson)
Sanctis writters omnibus clopis (To the holy writters, to all the cloppers)
Mother Celestia
You know I am a righteous horse
Of my waifu I am justly proud
Et tibit Luna (And to you, Luna)
Mother Celestia
You know I’m so much purer than
The common, casuals, weak, licentious anons
Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)
Then tell me, Celestia
Why I see her dancing there?
Why her reptilian eyes still scorch my soul?
Cogitatione (In thought)
I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in blue scales
Is blazing in me out of all control
Verbo et opere (In word and deed)
Like fire, Hellfire
This fire in my skin
This burning, desire
Is turning me to sin
It’s not my fault
Mea culpa (Through my fault)
I’m not to blame
Mea culpa (Through my fault)
It is the dragon girl
The witch who started this lustful flame
Mea maxima culpa (Through my most griveous fault)
It’s not my fault
Mea culpa (Through my fault)
If in Faust’s plan
Mea culpa (Through my fault)
He made the dragon so much
Stronger than Applejack
Mea maxima culpa (Through my most griveous fault)
Protect me, Celestia
Don’t let this dragoness cast her spell
Don’t let her claws tear my flesh and bone
Destroy Princess Ember
And let her taste the fires of hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone
[…]
Hellfire, blue fire
Now dragon, it’s your turn
Choose me or your pyre
Be mine or you will burn
Celestia Eleison (Celestia have mercy)
Faust have mercy on her
Celestia Eleison (Celestia have mercy)
Faust have mercy on me
Celestia Eleison (Celestia have mercy)
But she will be mine
Or she will burn!
>>27170265
Wow. job well done friend.
>>27170235
I had the same anime waifu for 3 years until the shipping aspect became too much pain to handle, so I moved onto a pure pony waifu. Then she got shipped.. Devastated but not yet hopeless, I tried loving 3D, but then my wife's son beat the hell out of me and told me that if I ever came back, he'd kill me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that love is fucking stupid and you should just stick to jacking off without caring about the characters.
>>27170316
>my wife's son
Fucking cuck, you're more pathetic than emberfags
Stop making lizard threads.
>>27170331
Seriously, ember is more cancerous than nyx or sunset shimmer.
>>27170344
>what is a 4chan filter
>what is hiding threads
>>27170394
Fuck you. I will not accept this cancer, it must be purged.
>>27170344
Were you even here when RR dropped? This is nothing compared to Shimmerfaggotry or Glimglam.
>>27170235
Holy shit OP we are of one soul. I have no advice but know that you are not alone.
>>27170463
I know this Ember fever is shit, but believe me, when I first saw her, I didn't think I will get this far.
I have never been tempted to leave my apple waifu, but now I see this is only a moment of weakness.
>>27170235
Filter the dragonslutshit from your life aka derpibooru. Delete all the pictures of her you've been dumb enough to save. Get a cheap printer for home use if you don't have one already and start putting your favorite pictures of Applejack by your bed. When you close your eyes to sleep, always make sure to have eye contact with her as they close. Think of cuddling her as you hold your extra pillow and imagine your life if you were married. Consider your options on where to settle down together, at her farm, your own place, a new place to call home, etc. Remember that she's the beautiful, blonde, down to earth, stable and most perfect wife anyone could ask for, who'll be baking applepie for you, work hard in the fields to make your living, but also knows her place in the kitchen. Despite being the strong, independent, fully capable earth pony that she is, she knows who's in charge in a marriage. She's also the brewer of the most popular cider in town, something you may never forget. How could you ever let someone like her slide. How could you ever imagine abandoning her.
>>27170235
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8F0obkxhTW4
>>27170265
>twilight
>virgin
Ignorant heretic
>>27170427
>>27170514
>you marry Applejack
>every fucking day, APPLES
>every fucking dinner, APPLES
>every fucking night, APPLES
>every fucking morning, APPLES
>she wants to name your children APPLES
>all she wants to talk about is APPLES
>all she wants to eat is APPLES
>all she wants to think about is APPLES
>if you tell her there's more to life than apples, she looks at you like you just blasphemed against God
>>27170514
It's been a while since I don't cry because an /mlp/ comment, but you, dear anon, make me to go and hug my AJ's plushie and claim her for forgiveness with tears in my eyes. I have such I fool all these days since that slut tempted me to abandon my lovely apple. I have recovered the faith and for now and ever I swear to Celestia I will never think in leaving AJ, she is the only one I love. In the depths of my applefag heart, I thank you anon.
>>27170235
Are you really going to abandon your waifu for a character that's only been in one episode? Does all the time you've spent together mean nothing?
>>27170609
"So Jacky, the doc said it's a boy, what do you wanna name it? I was thinking of a name from my home, like Richard, or Alexander-"
>"Alexander Apple sounds good ta me, Anon."
>You look over to your wife.
"Why add the apple part?"
>Applejack isn't looking so happy anymore.
>"It has to have apples in it."
"Why?"
>Applejack stares deep into your eyes.
>"It HAS to, Anon. This ain't up fer debate."
>You sigh, confused.
"What about Johnny, you like that name?"
>"That name has nuthin' to do with apples, Anon."
>You think for a minute.
"Johnny Appleseed?"
>Applejack's loving smile returns as she grips you in a tight embrace.
>"Ah love it, sugar cube. I'm sure little Appleseed will too."
>>27170265
Give me like 10 minutes.
>>27170716
Draw demons like demons and not some red goatpeople,please.
>>27170616
>I swear to Celestia
I can almost smell you just from reading that post
>>27170760
No, you don't
>>27170801
You dress like you're in Middle school
This whole fucking thread...
>>27170841
Where do you think you are?
>>27170831
I took that photo a year ago, a lot of cold a decided to do that
>>27170841
Fuck you. We need more of this. This passionate display of romantic, desperate feels with a perfect touch of self-awareness is the best. It can't be found anywhere else. Go back to whatever boring threads you favor. Shoo.
>>27170906
>>27170912
>>27170906
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting.
>>27170948
I just see the irony in the fact that he's calling everyone else autistic when using an epic reddit meme.
>>27170969
That meme is from 420chan in 2007
>>27170912
Thanks, I think it's the less I could do since I almost commit such horrible treason to the pony who always make me smile when I'm sad and fill my days with joy.
>>27171049
And to make it worse, all for a horsepussyless, ponutless, non-cuddly shitty dragon
>>27171089
It's true, but I have recovered faith in the horse pussy, and the glory of the vulvar winking
>>27170299
>job well done
He replaced maybe every sixth word. Hardly a good job.
>>27170265
You're a poet, anon. Though my one suggestion would be switching "auctoris" for "writters".
>>27171287
Oh you... I will do it, I fell like if I were born again in the glory of Celestia
>>27170235
Just remember.
>>27170265
I gotta tell you the truth man, you may not have wanted this to come out as cringy but that's all im getting.
Fucking kill yourself lizard loving faggots
Really anon?
>>27170235
>>27170265
>>27170716
Had to re-record this several times but here we go.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0lRuuakfDhe
>>27170458
This. Fucking /mlp/ is filled with fucking children these days. Maybe the target demographic finally found their way here?
>>27170235
Fagget. Go fuck a cactus. It will probably be the same as your gross reptiles.
>>27173819
>Not wanting the feel of those smooth scales against you.
>Not craving the trill of laying a beast that could kill you in many manner of ways in a second
>Preferring the feel of hair like another guy's chest.
I see the problem here anon.
>>27173819
>scale
>smooth
I'm done
>>27174280
I have a pet andaconda and water dragon. So I know what I'm talking about
>>27173438
Good job
>>27170235
>since I become brony
>>27170235
You should take English grammar lessons, that's what you should do.
