"Princess Celestia"
>"What is it, Anonymous?"
"I know ponies have a different culture, and different ways to state feelings and thoughts"
>"I'm glad you are learning a lot about us. "
"It's just..."
>"Don't be afraid. Tell me what is it?"
"I feel uncomfortable...I just don't like the way ponies stare at each other"
"Why do all of them make the same face, all the time? What the fuck?"
>"What do you mean?"
"Don't misundestand me, please. I'm not trying to disrespect your culture but..."
>"But...?"
"I really don't like talking to ponies with..."
>"With?"
"That look! Don't you see? It creeps me out. I don't know if I can..."
>"Anon, the problem you are dealing with, probably must be because you're not used to the way ponies communicate to each other. Give yourself some time and you'll like home"
"I guess..."
>>27137560
>>27137560
>"So, what did she said?"
"Uh, she told me that it's perfectly fine. And I shouldn't worry about it"
>"See? Exactly what I just told you. Now what do you say if you tell me more about yourself"
"Ok, I guess..."
"My name is Anonymous, as you already know. I'm 21 and like to..."
>"Yes?"
"...To..."
>"I'm listening..."
"I...I can't do it goddamit! It's so weird. I can't even look at you without freaking out. This can't be normal"
>"Relax anon, I'm sure you'll eventually get used to it."
"I can't Twilight, I just can't. This is too weird for me..."
>"Why don't we go meet Fluttershy? She's very quiet and peaceful. I don't think you'd disagree with that"
"..."
>>27137703
Kek plz continue
>>27137703
>"Hi Fluttershy, I want you to meet Anonymous, he just arrived to Equestria and I though it would be nice that you two know each other."
"Hi, I'm Anon and...ok what the fuck is with your face?"
>"Oh, hi. My name is Fluttershy, and...umm...I don't know what you mean with that..."
"Are you about to cry? Are you sad? Did someone related to you just died? What?"
>"Oh no, nothing of that. That's just how I normally look."
"Seriously, your face don't hurt you? I'm pretty sure that face must be painful to keep"
>"Ehmm, not reallly."
"Ok...."
"So...you like animals?"
>"Oh yes, I love to take care of all animals. I like to pet them and heal their wounds and brush their hair and"
"Ok that's enough. C'mere, I'm sure I can reacommodate your face. I just have to move this and..."
>"Waaaaaaahhhh. Twilight make him stop, it hurts!"
>>27137845
>"Why did you attacked her? She was just trying to being nice"
"You can't be nice with that disturbing face"
>"Whatever, let's go see Rarity. She must be around here"
>We searched far and wide, until we saw a living marshmallow
"Oh hi, you must be-aaaaghh"
>"Anon! Be polite"
>"Why hello dear. Are you new here? I can't recall seeing you before"
"I'm...my name is...anon"
>"Anon, huh? What a lovely name. And what exactly are you?"
"I'm a...human who...ehm...did something happened to you?"
>"Well, not really. Can I know the reason?"
"It's just...it's your face. Why your face is so fucking weird? Stop giving me that look"
>"But I'm not messing with my face, I swear. This is my natural expression"
"Your natural expression makes you look like some sort of insane killer or something"
>"I don't think that's what a gentleman would say about mare."
"Please stop looking at me."
>"But I'm not even looking at you"
"Then stop putting your neck like that. It's disgusting.
>"Hummm, what a barbaric 'human'. You should learn to not get along with uncouth creatures Twilight"
"Oh god, finally she's gone"
>"You'll be the human with no friends, if you keep it that way...
"B-But...the weird faces...the creepy looks"
>>27138100
Keep going...
This it bretty gud. Im having many kex
>>27138100
>one after another, they make faces at Anon while he's meeting them
>once he storms off angry, they burst into laughter
>"It's just a prank, Anon!"
>>27138249
>anon becomes paranoid
>>27138480
>They're all against him
>Bombs Ponyville
>Hundreds dead
>Not safe anymore, gets the fuck out of dodge
>Tries moving to Griffonstone
>They all have jew faces
>Lather, rinse, repeat
>>27138100
>"Why are you so reluctant to make friends? Do humans are not used to have friends back on earth?"
"Twilight, it's not me, it's them. All of them are looking at me right now, waiting the right time just to stab me in the back. I can't handle this"
>"They are not killlers, they are ponies. And they are all just curious because probably they have never seen a human in their lifes. Please just beha-"
>"Excuse, mister. What are you?"
"Huh?"
>"We haven't seen anything like you before. What are you"?
"Oh poor little fillies. Are you retarded? Here, I'll take care of everything."
>S: "Hey, let me go!"
"Shhh shhh, you are the cutest fille. Oh, your white fur is pretty soft. Let me pet you."
>S: "What are you...ugh you're hurting me. STOP!"
"Who are you anyways?"
>A: "Let her go or else..."
>And here's the part where Applebloom kick you in the balls
"...Fuck"
"Help me Twi..."
>"You're hopeless, anon"
(Don't open the spoiler)
>>27139041
>A blue pegasus flies down
>You can't even bring yourself to look at her face. Instead, you just close your eyes in pain.
>"Hey, what's up with the minotaur? Why's he so small and shaved?"
>You caress your balls. This is it. You won't see her face.
>"And he's kinda scrawny too, what did this guy eat? Grass" she laughs, her voice warped by whatever expression she wears.
>You won't look at her.
>"He says he's a human." Twilight pauses "He says our faces are weird"
>The pegasus pauses, "His face is weird"
>"Apple Bloom bucked him in the balls for calling them retarded and hurting Sweetie Belle"
>"Oh. The--wait he called Scoots retarded?" The pegasus grows enraged "Hey, you!" someone lifts you from the jacket "Did you call Scoots retarded!?"
>The shout is too much, and you open your eyes to see your attaWHAT THE FUCK.
>"WHAT THE FUCK"
(Open the spoiler)
>"The fuck do you mean!?"
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOUR FACE HOW DO YOUR LIPS STAY IN A PIECE DO YOU EVEN HAVE LIPS AT ALL"
>"I am fucking mad you fuck! You go apologize to Scotts right now, or else!"
>"Wait..." you pause for a second in shock "You are mad"
>She just glares at you.
>"You are making that face because you are mad"
>Confusion over rides her anger briefly, but not enough for her expression to normalize, "...yes?"
>"Can I see your normal face? Please?"
>"You go apologize to Scoots and we'll talk." She says.
>>27139125
God please moar! This is fucking great.
>>27138620
>They all have jew faces
>implying it wouldn't feel like home
>>27139125
Please let Rainbow fuck up the prank.
>>27139125
how the fuck is anon supposed to apologize 2 th' scotts without being shanked by a furious drunkard?
>>27139125
>>27138131
What the fuck?!
>>27139125
>"Hiya, everypony. Who's your new friend Twilight?"
>You don't even care anymore, so you just turn around and see the pink pony.
"Oh hi. It looks like you're giving birth."
>"What? I'm just very happy to meet you. Can't you see my smile?"
>This is some new level of communication
"You look like you're laying an egg."
>"Are you tired? Maybe you need a welcome party! How fun, don't you think?"
"Are you even listening to me?"
>"C'mon, I'll get you something to eat. I'm sure you're very hungry"
>Actually, you are
>And your stomach rumbles in response
>The constant feel of repulsion and disgust made you hungry
"How did you know?"
>"My pinkie sense always knows!"
>"Wanna see how it works?"
"Not really."
>>27141046
Okay anon, am i like missing something?
Is the joke that they all make the faces they do in the image permanently or something, Can you explain?
I don't think i'm gonna be able to read this and laugh till I can understand.
>>27141532
>>27137560
"Why do all of them make the same face, all the time? What the fuck?"
>>27141558
Yes but like, they don't do that in the show so i'm confused, is the joke that they're permanently stuck in one face
>>27141573
yes
>>27141573
Yes that's the joke.
Okay I just woke up.
>>27139145
>The pegasus lets go of you, and you walk away in search of Scoots. This time Twilight doesn't follow you, something you are thankful for.
>It doesn't take you long to realize, however, that no one told you who "Scoots" is.
>The cute one was Sweetie, the ball kicker was Applebloom, so the ugly orange one must be her, right?
>You walk the streets of Ponyville, getting odd looks from the creatures making faces at you.
>It's a grotesque exhibition, worse than that one time Mum forced you to go to the wax museum with your siblings and the refrigeration had broken.
>After a few streets without success, there is a loud "Pop" from behind you. You don't turn.
>"Who are you".
>"Oh, my! The new guy!" The voice is like that of a boy playing at being pretentious "The one who unsulted Buttersly!"
>"You didn't answer my question"
>"Well, I'll let you know I am the lord of chaos and all that, and that--"
>NOPE.
>You run as fast as your legs can carry you,eyes closed
>You crash with buildings six times and break an arm against light post, but refuse to see whatever face the lord of fucking chaos is making.
>And you still haven't found Scoots.
>>27142234
>With pained groans, you continue your search of the mythical being known as Scoots
>However, a white horse of most strange expression approaches you, aglow under the sun
>"What are-- are you hurt?" The white earth pony grabs your arm without waiting for an answer "You are hurt! Come, we can put a cast on this lickety spit, you..." she pauses, her expression forlorn "Why are you so small and hairles, mister.... minotaur? Is there any condition I should be aware of?"
>You can't tear your eyes from her.
>"What's up with your lips?"
>"Whatever do you mean?"
>"Your freaking lips. Is that Oh god I can see your teeth can't I"
>"You have lost me, mister minotaur. Come, you are delirious," She pulls you towards what you guess is that hospital with a gentle yet unbreakable hold. Saliva falls from the corners of her mouth every couple steps.
>>27142360
OP here, I wish I could write like you
Gotta do something, could someone keep the thread bumped? Will finish the greentext when I come back.
>>27142360
>Still eluded by the Scoots, you follow the mare who called herself Redheart (It sounds like the name of a serial murderer to you) to the hospital.
>She is leaving a trail of saliva on her wake, but you do need your arm to be casted
>"Hey, uh," You search for a way to ask it sensibly, but her face is too distracting "Are there any nutsos in the hospital?"
>"Nutsos?" Her confused expression almost makes you puke. No ear should be that close to the cheek.
>"You know, crazy peo-- ponies?"
>"Well, yes, but I assure you the--"
>"HEY YAH!" Interrupts someone, her accent so thick you want to punch the mouth that made it "AH 'EARD YAH'RE TALKEN SHET BOUT MEH SISTAH!"
>You turn to her, and are shocked by >>27142437
>"Are you taking a shit" You ask the instant your eyes fall uppon her.
>The surprise is enough to shake off her anger for a moment, yet her expression remains the same, "Skutzz meeh?"
>"Are you taking a shit" You ask again, unbelieving "How do your eyes do that"
>"Ahm 'ffraid ah dun follow yah--" She stops and goes angry again "Yha're trahan to dishtrakt meh or sumthin?"
>"Learn to speak for fuck sake"
>She just stares for a moment, which is quite a feat with such disaligned eyeballs.
>Seriously, this horse must be seeing her own ass.
>She groans, walks to you, and bucks you in the balls. Then she walks again with a contented expression-- which is to say, her lips are slightly curved upwards now.
>>27143211
Kek'd, nice job anon
>>27143211
have my bbys pls
>>27143211
>You are writhing in pain in the floor
>Why do like ponies like getting to your balls so much? Is their society secretly obsessed with human balls?
>With those faces, it wouldn't surprise you in any shape or form...
>"Oh, dear, whyever did you tell her such an horrible thing? I feel like--" Redheart pauses for a moment, trying to fight her worst urges, "Like I could, I could curse! You... blimey, anon! Blimey!"
>She instantly blushes, ashamed of her audacity.
>And she also makes no effort to help you from the ground.
>However, you hear a voice.
>Is that...?
>Your prey is within sight.
>The furtive Scoots is ready for you to grasp
>You need this
>You need to see a normal face
>You get up and run to the Scoots
>The beast rears away, but with a primal shout you throw yourself upon her
>Redheart is watching in shock
>She probably is trying to remember it all for her strange serial murderer masturbation or something
>"HEY HEY RETA-- SCOOTS!" You shout at the Scoots "I AM SORRY OK GOODBYE"
>She runs away.
>You make a contented sigh. Finally. Everything is fine now.
>You'll see a normal face.
>You try to walk, but runing seems to have busted a ball or something and you collapse. With your one healthy arm, you start clawing your way to Rainbow.
I don't always read greens, but this one gets me good
>>27143657
>Thankfuly the serial murderer doesn't chase after you-- her face would only worsen your predicament.
>Half an hour into your slow, agonizing search of the Rainbow, a pink being of calamity befalls upon you
>"HEY! I don't know you are you new in town because I know everyone in the town every single one and I am friends with everyone also are you a minotaur why are you so small and hairless are you a haha a minitaur sorry sorry I didn't mean to offend its just that you are so tiny I could cuddle you I mean cuddle like a friend nothing else haha hey did you hear of that one time I cuddled with Twilight and she thought I was hitting on her and I was like Girl you are beautiful and all but not my type and she was like Ok and--"
>Your brain shuts down before being overheated, and you accept your fate
>The face of fate, in fact.
>You lift your eyes from her legs to her face
>She is...
(Open spoiler)
>She is beautiful
>She is a goddess
"Take me," you say.
>"Alright," She puts you on her back like a potato bag.
>Her spine is so cuddle-worthy as it rubs your ribs
>Is this love?
>"Now what?" She asks cheerfully, "Did I tell you of--"
"Take me to the Rainbow." This is a test, a test of the Face of Fate. You must pursue your quarry before love.
>"Which one?"
"The pegasus"
>"Oh you mean Dash you silly? I'll take you to her in a second," She starts runing "not even the fires of Tartarus will stop me" she stops "hey did you hear of that one time I decided to taste how do the flames of Tartarus taste it was sooo fun and I was like--"
"Dash. Please."
>"Oh alright I can do that" She hops with no regards for your safety.
>You want to puke from the motion, and your broken arm hurts like a bitch
>You are so marrying this mare.
>>27143803
>that pic
Now I wanna know where this is going
I am so sorry
>>27143803
>You soon reach your quarry with the help of Diane. She is amidst another four mares, some of which you recognize.
>She is shooting strange looks at them, as if searching for an answer
"I apologized," it's all you say.
>"Oh." She still looks mad, and shoots looks to them. The others seem to be urging her to do something.
"Can I see...?"
>"Yeah"
>She stands awkwardly.
"So?"
>"A-alright"
>Her face contorts in strange manners, muscles the existence of which you didn't even know straining.
>It's like she is trying to rape her own face with her lips
>For a second you can see a glimpse of normality, but it all buckles back
>Her face broke
(Open spoiler)
>Pieces of color spread from the lines of her face, as if trying to escape her being
>You try not to scream
>You scream
>Your ears bleed
>The world fades to black
>You have a hearth attack
>Everyone is dying around you as reality iteslf unravels around her
>"WAIT WAIT!" She screams "IT WAS JUST A PRANK IT WASN-"
>White
>>27143910
>it was just a prank
FUCKING KNEW IT
>>27143910
>You wake up
>Somewhere
>There are clouds everywhere
>Is this heaven?
>It's so empty...
>You walk for what feels like a long time
>Finally, you reach a portic
>It's wooden, with golden glyphs you don't recognize
>You open it
>Inside is a human woman, sorting a shelf
>"I was expecting you"
"Oh"
>You try to find something to say without much success
>"The ponies were foolish in their prank. I could only hold so much weirdness at once, and lost control. Now they are all dead"
"Oh. Wa--" You pause "They are all dead? For real?"
>"Yes"
"And this is heaven?" You pause "Are you Mary?"
>"Yes. Jesus had to go bed early for school tomorrow." She adds.
"So they are all here"
>"Yes again..." She pauses "You could meet them if you wanted to, but..." She trails off.
"What? Don't tell me--"
>"Their faces are stuck like that now."
>Maybe...
"Is Pinkie here too?"
>"Yes," She turns to you with a smile
(See >>27135570 )
>"Isn't it great?"
~FIN~
>>27143972
This is some nice shit
Odd bump, staring from a corner.
