>This is the story of Rainbow Dash.
>Rainbow Dash is a very happy pony who lives in Equestria, she is beloved and has many friends.
>Her mane has many colors in it just like a Rainbow.
>Rainbow Dash is always nice to her friends.
>Rainbow Dash is a good friend who is always loyal.
>She can use her wings to fly around fast.
>She often spends her days sleeping upon clouds.
>Rainbow Dash has a pet turtle.
>She also likes to fly around with her turtle high in the sky.
>Rainbow Dash likes to fly.
>Rainbow Dash likes to sing along with her friends.
>She will always be happy as long as she's with her friends.
>Rainbow Dash is a very happy pony who lives in Equestria, she is beloved and has many friends.
She is extremely insecure and an over-achiever.
>Rainbow Dash is always nice to her friends.
She berates her friends without fail and is generally considered a cocky bitch.
>Rainbow Dash is a good friend who is always loyal.
There is no situation in the show where her loyalty is tested to any extent. The first episode doesn't count, it's shit.
>She will always be happy as long as she's with her friends.
Her aspirations go beyond her friends on many occasions.
What is this OP...
Op are you a faggot
her story is she's a cumdumpster whore who fucks scoots with a dildo to give scoots the experience her father gave rainbow as a 4yr old filly
>>25375921
>One day Rainbow Dash felt a little sad, so she decided to go for a walk over to Breakneck's Cave outside of the Everfree forest
>A storm was coming and Rainbow Dash had to be quick to find shelter
>She almost cancelled the trip, but decided against it
>"Eh, we're closer to the cave at this point", she claimed
>She has waited too long for a day off, she had to, just had to make this trip
>There Rainbow Dash found what she was looking for
>Breakneck,s Cave
>Quickly, the little pony enters the cave
>>25375990
A written cry for help from a true autist.
>>25376014
>but Rainbow Dash didn't enter the cave and instead decided to enter Sugarcube Corner
>Rainbow Days was a rebel who always hated following directions
>It is amazing her friends didn't abandon her years ago.
>>25375921
>turtle
>>25376014
Why is she talking to herself? What kind of amateur storytelling is this? Not to mention all of the grammatical errors and poor spelling.
>>25376033
>Along the way, Rainbow Dash wondered about how life would be like if she was a caterpillar
>She though about the tasty leaves that she could eat and the ignorant foals that she could sting
>It was still raining however, and she was still being pelted by hail
>>25376033
>Rainbow Dash came to Sugarcube Corner to see her friend Pinkie Pie
>Surely they were going to discuss how they were going to go into Bottleneck Cave together and go on the big adventure that was planned for them
>Lots of fun to be had
>Oh Rainbow you little rascal, you had me worried for a moment
>So Rainbow and Pinkie walked out of Sugarcube Corner to head to Bottleneck Cave.
wtf is going on?
>>25376066
>still raining
>pelted by hail
So which is it?
>>25376079
What's with the awkward tone of narration? It's so off-putting. Dialogue isn't implied at any point, it just kinda starts in the middle of narration. Stop writing please.
>At bottleneck cave, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie met a large ferocious manticore
>Rainbow Dash was a little scared but is also a very brave pony
>She said, "Hello, Mr. Manticore. We're trying to have an awesome adventure that is 20% cooler than the normal awesome adventures we have. You seem to be in our way of exploring this cave."
>"Fuck you," growled the Manticore. "Go away."
>Pinkie Pie was appalled.
>"That's not very nice! *GASP* I just thought of something completely random and off-the-wall!"
>Pinkie Pie then retrieved the Party cannon she had been keeping the vicinity for just such an occasion
>>25376168
>Rainbow Dash was a little scared but is also a very brave pony
You're mixing present and past tone. It's retarded.
>20% cooler
I cringed.
>keeping the vicinity for just such an occasion
This is something you'd find in a court document, not a story.
This is shit. This is garbage. Stop writing.
>>25376168
>That's when it happened
>A purple mare came in and went on a rant
>">Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)08:32:57 No.25376121>>25376066(You)
>>still raining
>>pelted by hail
>So which is it?
>>>25376079
>What's with the awkward tone of narration? It's so off-putting. Dialogue isn't implied at any point, it just kinda starts in the middle of narration. Stop writing please."
>Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were confused at the sudden outburst from a strange mare, who was still standing in the rain
>The pony stood there, never moving
>Forever still in the rain
>They decided to stay on course and continue into the cave, leaving the pony to perish in the falling rain
>>25375921
>>25376023
My trips is true here
>>25375999
>>25376042
>>25375921
>Rainbow Dash has a pet turtle.
IT'S A TORTOISE GOD DAMMIT!
>>25375967
>She is extremely insecure and an over-achiever.
She can be a bit insecure, sure, but everyone can. It's pretty normal and it's not really something to be ashamed of either, honestly.
>She berates her friends without fail and is generally considered a cocky bitch.
She can be a bit brash, but she really does care deeply about her friends and loves spending time with them. She's most definitely nice to her friends, it's just she can impulsively say rude things without really realizing it. I think she's really gotten better with that, though, and she never meant anything by it. It's entirely safe to say that Dash treasures her friends, and would never intentionally mistreat them or hurt their feelings. And she can be pretty sensitive, too.
>There is no situation in the show where her loyalty is tested to any extent.
Dash undeniably IS the element of loyalty. It's canon that she's extremely loyal, there's simply no debating it. If you feel that the show has not done a good job of portraying that, then blame the writers for screwing it up, not her. MLP is a show with a lot of different writers who aren't necessarily coordinated in all things.
>Her aspirations go beyond her friends on many occasions.
Not going to happen. Dash loves to spend time with the ones she cares about, she won't ever leave them behind. If she ever joins the Wonderbolts, I can't see it being more than a year or two just to experience it and 'live the dream' and such, because there's not a chance in hell she'd want to spend huge amounts of time away from everyone. Even the prospect of being separated her pet tortoise for a few months really distressed her, so I'd say she really treasures spending time her friends and such.
>>25376168
>"Fuck you," growled the Manticore. "Go away."
>>25376196
ROFLMAO
>>25376264
And no, I'm not trying to suggest that she's literally completely perfect or anything, but I do think she's a very friendly, caring pony who's also confident, energetic, sometimes brash, etc. A lot of the criticism she gets is just unfair, I'd say, though separating that from the usual memes you see on /mlp/ can be difficult, and ultimately some people simply interpret certain things about characters differently
I think I'm seeing a pattern here >>25375921
>>25375967
>>25376196
Top kek m80, thank you for the valuable critique
