RAPE

“Right. Thanks a lot boss”
>”Don’t worry about it. I spent all night defending my property, I hate to hear about one of my employees using theirs. Now go on before we start closing up, go pick what you want”
>Nodding you thank him one last time for the great deal, trotting into the electronics aisle with glee
>The entire way you gaze at all the cool little gadgets with wonder
>Beepers, CD players, floppy disks, VCRs
>And even those hats with the electric juicers attached to them!
>But finally you stop, taking a seat as your neck cranks from one end of the aisle to the other
>TVs of all shapes and sizes inhabit its shelves, each one begging for you to take them home
>Except those 3D TVs. Screw that shit
>But… which one to pick?

>>26930126
One with a really wide aspect ratio. Wide aspect ratios are important.

>>26930126
50" QUADHD OLED with the build in VHS

>>26930126
A flatscreen! Anybody whose cool has a flatscreen now days. We want ponies to think we're cool, right?

>>26930126
get a tv that is slightly more expensive then your last tv. also we should go to a pawn shop and look for our tv and report it stolen.

>The thoughts of your old TV come to you
>Goodnight sweet prince, you were too pure for this world
>You should really check a pawn shop on the way home for that thing
>Maybe you should pick out a TV that resembles it? No need to go too expensive right?
>… Fuck it, half off TV!
Your excited eyes wander to the flat screens, filled with emotion as you gaze upon them for the first time as a potential buyer
>All the cool ponies have a flat screen, and you say it’s just about time that you joined that exclusive club
>Getting onto your tippy hooves, you survey your choices
>Gotta have a wide aspect ratio. A huge aspect ratio!
>Rectangles are optimal for viewing pleasure
>You spend a few minutes looking around, but your eyes keep wandering back to one fine specimen
>So sleek, so elegant… it just oozes hours of unabated visual entertainment
>That’s it, you’ve made up your mind
>Reaching out you give it a huge, planting a kiss on the screen
>But how could you not?
>50" QUAD HD OLED TV!
>With BUILT IN VCR!
>And only 400 bits with your half off discount
>Huffing a bit as you pick it up with your magic you head to the check out
>A minute later, you place it in front of a very surprised Ast
>”Little… large don’t you think?”

>>26930560
it promises an amazing tv watching experience though. it would be like sitting at the movies!

>>26930560
Yeah, you're right. Shouldn't get a tv this big. It'll look like shit on our wall.

Just get one slightly more expensive than our old one.

>>26930560
Don't worry hunny, i'll carry it. Im used to carrying around a large package.

>>26930593
>shitty lines only said by douchebags

>>26930560
That's the idea. Look at it and tell me it isn't goddamn beautiful.

“That's the idea. Look at it and tell me it isn't goddamn beautiful”
>”I mean, it’s certainly impressive but do you really need it?”
“But Ast, it promises an amazing TV watching experience! It would be like sitting at the movies!”
>”I don’t know Gar, it looks pretty expensive”
“The boss gave me 50 percent off”
>”Still, 400 bits? Don’t you have rent coming up soon?”
“No need to worry, I’m fine in the cash department”
>She casts another uncertain look at the machine
>”You sure? Wouldn’t a TV closer to your older one be better?”
>Well, she has a point, it would look like shit on the wall
>But then again, why the fuck would you watch the wall when you have a kick ass new television?
>”How are you even going to get this thing home?”
“Don't worry hunny, i'll carry it. I’m used to carrying around a large package”
>”See? This is what I was afraid of. Everypony who goes and gets a new flat screen turns into a douchebag”
“No please, it was just a joke! I won’t let it corrupt me”
>You give her puppy eyes, pupils sparkling as your lips quiver
>She merely huffs and rolls her eyes
>”You stallions and your toys…”
>Finally she raises the scanner, checking out the TV
“Yes!”
>”You aren’t going to be calling me at 2 AM tonight complaining how you can’t figure out the menu guide, are you?”

>>26931113
No of course not. ( we have hype and shade and nightlight to bug for that. )

>>26931113
hmm. we should find a tech support pony and fix his or her love life for future calls.

>>26931149
>A bleary-eyed Hype is woke up at 2 AM by a ringing telephone
>Answers
>H-hey Hype, buddy! Do you... [instruction papers crinkling] do you have uhhh... [paper crinkling intensifies] a FUCKING CLUE how to work a menu guide?

>>26931215
4frug

>>26931113
1 AM tops, I promise.

>>26931113
Soon as we get home, let's pay our rent early. Just as a happy surprise for our landlord.

“Of course not!”
>Her face doesn’t signal belief in any capacity
“Ok 1 AM tops, promise!”
>”You know I need my beauty sleep Gar”
“I know Ast, I know. But I can figure it out myself, promise”
>”Remember when I had to help you change the light bulb in aisle 7?
”I-it wasn’t a bulb”
>”It’s called a fluorescent light. But anyway, I’m not tech support for you tonight”
“Alright, I won’t call you, promise”
>Maybe you can find some tech support pony, fix their love life, and get unlimited free customer service calls?
>”Alright you two, closing time”
>The boss goes walking on by, filling out some forms
>Within minutes the lights flicker out, thus ending another exciting say at Ponemart
>Giving Ast a goodnight kiss on the sidewalk she trots away in the direction of home, the boss soon leaving afterwards
>Now, to get this baby home
>Lifting it up with your magic you concentrate to the best of your ability
>Huffing, it raises, your hooves trotting a few paces
>But the box soon begins to shake, quickly being set down
>… Maybe you weren’t as strong as you thought?
>Shit. This is one of those times that you wish you had good enough credit to get a chariot
>”Hey there”
>You launch around, using your body as a shield to guard the TV from the intruder
>However, your face merely meets Floral’s
>”Having a little trouble with your new toy?”

>>26931699
yes i am. could you please help floral?
in b4 she says no because we didn't give her a day off.

>>26931735
but if we gave her a day off then she wouldnt have been here to help either.

>>26931699
Maybe a little bit.

>>26931699
shoulda paid fruggy a mango to stick around.

“Uh”
>You look back to the large box
“Yes I am. Could you please help Floral?”
>”Hmmm”
>A hoof taps her chin a couple times
>”Nope!”
>Your heart instantly shatters
“B-but why?”
>”Oh you know, work was just SO tiring today! I don’t think I could even attempt to lift it!”
>She dramatically throws a leg across her forehead
>”If only I would have had the day off, I might have been rested enough to carry out such a task”
>You really should have paid Fruggy a mango to stick around
“Floral come on, don’t be that way”
>”Well… I suppose that maybe you could find a way to make it up later. But just because we’re friends!”
“Alright, we’ll think of a reward later. Just help me get my baby home!”
>She trots around to the box, giving her wings a flap as she lifts her end
>Following suit you grab the other, and soon you two are away, awkwardly maneuvering the package through the ponies on the sidewalks
>Marching up the stairs, you and Floral take great care to balance your treasure, eventually entering the hallway
>Walking to your door you actually find it repaired in good order
>Guess the land lord stopped by while you were at work
>Unlocking it you direct Floral to push it inside with you, eventually coming to a stop in the middle of the living room
>”Phew”
>She wipes a bead of sweat off her forehead
>”You’re lucky I was there to help. Hope this thing is worth it”

>>26932133
Let's watch tv together.

>>26932133
Let's plug it in and find out.

>>26932133
Oh it will be. Just picture it! You and Shade and Ast and Nightlight and Rocker and Hype can come over to watch movies! It'll be great!

>>26932133
lets find out.

we can get her to help setting up

>>26932133
Come on Gar, setting up a TV's really not that hard

“Oh it will be. Just picture it! You and Shade and Ast and Nightlight and Rocker and Hype can come over to watch movies! It'll be great!”
>”You might need a bigger couch for that”
“Yeah you might be right… but let’s find out first hand just how great this bad boy is”
>”Alright… so set it up”
“… Um”
>”What, you don’t know how to set up a TV?”
“Well, I was actually hoping that maybe you could help?”
“Nah”
>She casually throws herself onto the couch, getting into a comfortable pose
>”I helped you get it here. Your TV, your set up”
“Uh, sure. Yeah! No problem!”
>Popping open the box the cardboard falls out from around the TV perfectly, leaving the pristine machine before you
“Now then…”
>Your eyes glance around at it
>Cables
>Buttons
>Ports
>Oh god
>Mentally slapping yourself you try to get a grip
>Come on Gar, it’s just a TV. How hard could it be?
>Under Floral’s lazy gaze you pick up the instruction manual, getting to work
>45 minutes later you lay on the floor, eyes pathetically glancing up to the screen
>It merely produces static, crackling as it mocks you
>Pushing yourself forward you reach out a shaky hoof, mustering your last bit of energy in a final attempt to make it right
>Pressing a button all it does is change it to a black screen
>Your spirit broken, energy spent, you flop unto the floor once more, muzzle pressed into the carpet
>You don't understand. It said that it was only 10 easy steps….

>>26932651
If Floral's not going to help, we're going to have to accept defeat. Call the customer service hotline.

>>26932651
well, if there was static atleast we figured out the power cable.

>>26932651
Now we grovel at Floral's hooves.

>>26932771
It's exactly what she wants

>>26932771

All four hooves, at once.

>There you lay, marinating in your defeat
>You should have known that this was too good to be true. Ast tried to warn you, but no. You just had to buy the big flashes picture box
>At least you got the power cable in right… you think
>Glancing back to the paper off to your side, you eye the manual
>Ugh. You really don’t want to have to call customer service, can’t understand a damn thing those Ineighans say
>”Making progress?”
>Perking your ears up you eventually lift your muzzle off the ground, looking over to the couch
>Floral sits there watching on with enthusiasm, her hind hooves gently kicking back and forth as she observes your suffering
>Maybe she’ll grant you mercy and help now?
>Crawling over on your bely like a slug as you can’t find the energy to stand up, you eventually make it to the couch, Floral curiously looking down to you
>”Can I help you Gar?”
“Please…”
>”Please what dear?”
“Please help me set the TV up”
>”Hmmm, I dunno Gar…”
“Please Floral, I can’t do it alone. I just can’t do it”
>You begin to grovel at her hooves, attempting to win her favor
>She merely watches on as you beg, an sly grin beginning to form on her muzzle
>”You really want me to help?”
“Yes please, just set it up!”
>”Well… alright. I’ll get it working”
“R-really?”
>”Yup! But I found your groveling to be lacking”
>She extends on of her hooves out before you, deviously smiling
>”Go on and kiss it, and I’ll make all your troubles go away”

>>26933018
pretty sure we'd have paid to do this at one point.

>>26933018
[Grovelling Gar noises]

>>26933024
we have a feather fetish, not a hoof fetish

>>26933018
>whimpering

>>26933018
She flies everywhere anyways, right?

>>26933113
I feel like Floral would keep her hooves clean. can't attract bat ponies if you aren't smelling fresh as fruit

>As the hoof stretches out and lazily boops you in the nose, your muzzle scrunches up
“D-do I have to?”
>”Be lucky I’m not having you service all four”
>Peering back at the hoof, you can’t help but let out a small whimper, which seems to only excite Floral more
>”You call that groveling?”
>Playfully she rubs it against your cheek before placing her hoof back in front of your snout
“Please Floral, I just want my TV to work”
>”And I just want my hoof kissed. Now get to it”
>Giving it one final glance, you scrunch even harder
>Well, she does fly everywhere, right? Her hooves should be clean
>Leaning forward you give the cherry colored appendage a quick peck
”Th-there, done!”
>”Oh no you don’t, you’re not getting off that easy!”
>She tilts the hoof to reveal the underside right in your face
>”Now give it a REAL kiss”
>The things you do for quality televised entertainment...
>Closing your eyes you pucker your lips, reluctantly leaning your muzzle forward
>Soon they make contact with the hoof’s warm, soft underside, giving it a nice smooch
“Bleh”
>"Oh come on, I cleaned them this morning"
>Opening your eyes you find Floral peering back down to you, tapping a hoof in thought
>”Well, certainly not the most skilled stallion I’ve had… but your groveling was acceptable”
>Your face grows to one of excitement as she hops off the couch
>”Just sit back and relax, I’ll take care of this”
>Not having to listen to her twice you finally muster the energy you climb up on the couch, taking a seat
>Watching the pegasus go about her work she picks up the manual, giving it a quick peak before shrugging and throwing it aside
>Pressing a couple buttons the TV rockets to life, show random show playing
>Looking back, she gives you a smug look reminiscent of one of Shade’s
>Not sure if it’s a good thing that they’re rubbing off on each other

>>26933421
Th-thanks Floral.

>>26933421
Thanks floral. For helping me carry it here too. You always pull through for me.

Pausing

>>26933421
> just pushed buttons
Wait, that means we hooked everything up right and just couldn't get it to the right setting for tv.
I'll take that as three quarters of a victory.

>>26933587
hurrah for being somewhat competent.

boop

Floral is top freak

>>26935544
top

>>26936203
The toppest

Cadance posters are sub human

floral sux

Slightly below average

>>26939420
and swallows.

>But hey, if all she did was press some buttons, that means that at least you hooked it up right
>That’s like 75 percent of a victory, and you’ll take it
“Th-thanks Floral”
>”It’s no problem Gar”
>She comes trotting on back, majestically bounding onto to couch, getting comfortable next to you
“And thanks for helping me carry it here, you’re always there for me”
>”Oh Gar, there’s no need for that. However…”
>She leans over snatching the remote before pssing it over to you
>”I’ll be here to watch you try out your cool new TV”

>>26940297
Find something to watch

>>26940297
Go watch the classic series Biggs the Changeling

>>26940333
i've heard of that show, its a classic.

>>26940333
From what I heard they really fucked up the reboot. Classic was the bomb tho.

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>>26940333

>>26940333
dont forget to use the built in VHS to record it.

>>26940333
I couldn't support this more if I tried.
Give us the Biggs.

>>26940348
>from what I heard they really fucked up the reboot
The biggest problem with the second was just that it ended in the middle. Maybe the guy who made the show could go back and finish it some time. Tomorrow, maybe. It will be April 1st, after all.

>Well, guess it’s time to find something to watch on this thing
>But what will have the honor of being the first show to be displayed on this glorious piece of engineering
“What do you wanna watch?”
>”Oh I dunno, just find something. I’m not a picky pony”
>Turning on the guide, your jaw drops as you stare at the screen
“S-so many channels…”
>There’s hundreds of them! How will you ever be able to decide?
>One thing’s for certain, whatever you decide to watch has to be recorded to remember this historic moment
>Hoping off the couch for a moment you pop a tape into that sweet built in VCR, poised to record
>Now what to watch…
>Flicking through the guide you survey your options
>”Wait, go back!”
“What?”
>”Click on ‘Biggs’”
“Biggs? What’s that?”
>”You haven’t heard of it? It’s a classic!”
“Well is in any good?”
>”The first one is alright. They REALLY fucked up the sequel though. I heard the studio actually pulled it before it was finished”
“Damn. Well, if that’s what you want, here we go I guess”
>Selecting it, you hit the VCR record simultaneously
>Jumping back on the couch you look back just in time to see the opening screen crawl
>Oh man, first show on the new TV set here we go!

>…
>An hour and a half later you sit there, trying to comprehend what you just watched
>It was like something ripped out of a foal’s fanfiction book
>You’re guessing that it was supposed to be historical fantasy? Those elements or whatever they were appeared in the film
>But come on? Some badass changeling OC ends up dating one of the elements? What autist ships historical figures with made up characters?
>Not to mention how racially intolerant it was to griffons. You mean, maybe a couple weeks ago you would have condoned it, but now you know that not all griffons are savages
>… To a degree
>You’re not sure why, but when they gave him a gold fang you cringed a bit on the inside
>Somepony was obviously trying to make the changing a special snowflake
>”So, what’d you think? Satisfied with that next generation TV experience that you were ranting about at the store?”

>>26940860
Quite satisfied.

>>26940860
the tv is great. we're going to have many nights to look forward to.

>>26940860

The TV is fantastic! The televised content is a little... Maybe it hasn't aged well.

Thanks so much for helping me Floral, this has been bizarrely fun.

>>26940860
It was one of those movies where it's really fun to watch if you don't think about it too much.

>>26940860
Maybe Biggs hasn't aged that well, but it's still important to remember where ponies got their start. I hear they guy who made Biggs went on to make some other really good stuff.

>>26941057
doxel pls

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>>26941080
S-sorry.

“Quite satisfied actually. The TV is great!”
>”I agree… still not as good as mine though”
>Dumb, rich horsefly
“Well I think mine is fantastic… the movie was a little eh”
>”Yeah, it hasn’t aged the best. But I still think it’s nice”
“It was one of those movies where it's really fun to watch if you don't think about it too much. But I’m sure the director went on the better things, right?”
>”Not really. He started some big series through aggressive marketing. It was good, but he’s trying to squeeze every last bit out of it before crashing in into the ground”
“Oh… well I hope he gets his payoff soon. But anyway, thanks again for helping Floral. E-even is you made me grovel”
>”Hey, it’s what I do”
>The pegasus yawns, her wings floofing out a little as she does
>”But I should really be going home now, it’s getting late”
>Stepping off the couch you escort her to the door
“See you at work tomorrow Floral. And once again, thanks for the whole set up”
>”No problem Gar. And just remember, if you have any more problems with it, I still got three other hooves that need tended to”
>She gives you a cheeky wink before trotting out into the hallway, shutting the door behind herself

>>26941177
look at our tv one last time, then make happy horse noises and do hoofsy kicks now that there are no witnesses

>>26941177
Try to see if you can figure out the VCR timer to make it record your favorite shows.

>>26941177
Pay our rent.

>>26941177
Where are the breezies hiding?

>And now that you’re alone…
>Your head shoots, back, giving the TV another glance
>Such a noble piece of machinery
>Swooning like a school filly you take a step towards it
>Only to skip your way there, clicking your hoofsies and yipping in joy
>Extending your hooves, you draw it into a big hug, however it’s aspect ratio is too much for mortal pony legs
>Eventually peeling yourself away you pick up the instruction manual, flipping through the pages
“Setting VCR timed recording”
>OHhcool, now you’ll never have to miss your favorite shows again!
“Step one…”
>Half an hour later, the all too familiar look of defeat creeps across your muzzle
>Why must technology be so hard?
>Glancing at the instructions one last time, you drop it on the floor, sighing
>Maybe kissing Floral’s hoof again won’t be so bad?
>Damn freaky pegasus
>Maybe the breezies could help?
>Well, if you could find them that is. They probably went to bed early
>Rubbing your temples you decide to take a break, walking away from the TV
>Might as well take care of the rent tonight
>Grabbing your checkbook you scribble out this month’s rent, tearing it out before heading downstairs
>Dropping it in your landlord’s mailbox you feel a slight bit of pride
>You’ve never paid the rent earlier before. Oh he’ll be so happy!
>Maybe he’ll forget about the four other months that you were late?
>Trotting back upstairs you open up your apartment, locking the door for the night before walking into the living room
>But something isn’t how you left it
>The TV plays at full blast, the sounds of a chariot chase coming from the screen
>Looking at the couch two breezies relax on it, each munching on a tiny bag of popcorn

>>26941582
hang out with the guys you normie horse.

>>26941582
Ask them how the hell they made popcorn at their scale.

>>26941595
And as you do, reflect on how far you have come in the past few weeks.

“How the heck did you guys make popcorn that small?”
>Stagle shoves another mouthful in, mumbling
>”With small kernels!”
>Guess that makes sense
>Walking over you take a seat next to them the like normie horse that you are
“What are we watching guys?”
>”I dunno, some crime movie!”
>Looking to the screen you see a pony driving a getaway chariot
>Relaxing back, you join them in their silence, taking in all that your god like TV has to offer
>As the movie continues on, you can’t help but ponder over how far you’ve come these past few weeks
>You got the mare you’d been eyeing forever, accepted back into your parent’s lives, got a promotion at work, can actually afford to pay your rent on time
>And did you forget to mention that you got a kick ass new television?
>You know, Shade’s entire obsession with justice and this curse might be a bunch of bullshit, but you can’t say that your life has ever been better
>He’s still a lunatic though
>As the clock approaches midnight you look down, two tiny breezies snuggled into the fur of your lap, gently snoring
>You’re gonna miss these little guys
>Just then the movie’s end credits that to play, the screen darkening

>>26941920
Bedtime for Gar and Breezies.

>>26941920
carry them to bed and take your nap.

>>26941920

>>26941933
>>26941940

>Scooping up the little cuties you walk towards your room, yawning
>It’s about time for all of you to nap
>Turning out the light you gently place them on the pillow beside your head, curling up under the blanket soon afterwards
>Closing your eyes, you attempt to let sleep you as quickly as possible
>Big day tomorrow, hopefully have a fruit bat to train at work
>With one last yawn, you depart from consciousness
>…
>A droning noise causing your eyes to crack open, glaring at the alarm clock
>Please, just five more minutes
>Reaching out you bat it with a hoof, shutting it up
>Laying there for a few minutes, you eventually find the strength to peel yourself out from under the blanket
>Hey, at least bat Gar decided not to root last night
>Rubbing your eyes you walk out into the hallway, on your way to the kitchen
>That is until something catches your eye
>The breezies appear to be shoving something underneath the couch, pushing with all their might

>>26942194
Hey guys. Need help?

>>26942194
Hey, uh, what are you two doing?

it might be a surprise for us, so keep our distance when asking what they're doing.

>What the heck are they doing?
>Maybe they’re hiding a surprise for you?
>Trotting up you still keep some distance, watching them toil for a minute longer
>It appears to be something made of paper, but you’re not sure what
“Hey guys”
>They both jump, whizzing around
>”H-hey Gar”
>Their hooves sidestep, placing themselves in front of the object, obscuring it
“So uh… what are doing?”
>”Nothing!”
>They stand there with uneasy smiles, looking like they’re about to sweat
“You need some help or something?”
>”Help? Help with what? We’re not doing anything!”
>”Y-yeah, and if we were we wouldn’t need it!”
>They give each other a quick glance before peering back up to you

>>26942194
Uh, guys?

>>26942524
Okay.

I guess I'll get cleaned up, eat, and go to work. You guys need anything?

>>26942524
Walk past them casually, "accidentally" bumping the paper under the couch with your leg as you pass. Don't look.

Pausing

>>26942597
Gotta know that deep lore man.

What happened to the princesses?

>>26942613
medusa attack.

>>26942613
>>>Hijack

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>>26942613
They're phony gods, and never existed in the first place.

>>26942648
B-but why are the immortal beings only 'historical figures'?

Please don't leave me with half the lore, I want to know!

>>26942663
*tips sprinkles*

>>26942663
Next you'll be saying that 'ponies who need the magic of friendship in their lives are rather silly' while tipping your memedora

boop

silly breezies

Fuk u moot

beep

I want to come home to a happy Gar dog wagging his short-cropped tail in joy at my return.

bumb

>>26947443
tail 2 smol

>>26948656
smoll tails fill me with lust.

how odd.

>>26950562
What?

beepity beep

boop

>>26953666
This club can't handle you right now Flo.

boop

>>26954872

>>26954872

>>26954113
But can you

>>26959936
not really

>>26930116
>Batcancer memes CYOA

>>26961819
wat

“… Okay?”
>Guess you should get ready for work
>Walking past them, you head to the kitchen
>But not before sticking your hoof out ever so slightly and bumping whatever they’re hiding ass you pass by
>”Eep!”
>As soon as you nudge it they shield it once more, looking to you with nervous eyes
>Munching down on breakfast you go about your morning routine, getting ready for the day
>Hopefully the boss gave Fruggy a call, he’ll need some training, but you’re sure that he’ll be a nice employee
>Eventually you harness your saddle bags and walk towards the door
>But not before taking another peak in the living room
>With one final shove, they manage to push whatever it is completely under the couch, grunting
“You guys need anything while I’m out?”
>”N-no! Have a nice day!”

>>26962893
Off we go.

>>26962893
You guys have a nice day too. Time to start the day.

“Well, alright. You two have a nice day”
>”We will!”
>Opening the door, you head off to work
>After a few days, the city seems to finally be back to normal>Ponies are back on the streets, chariots zoom across the roads
>And there are no more tanks to run over Hype’s mail box!
>Finally trotting into work you push open the glass doors, stepping inside
>At the counter Floral chats up a familiar looking bat, you laughs at something she babbles on about
>On top of Fruggy’s head is a hat that says ‘In training’
>You’re still not sure why the boss has that thing, but you had to wear it yourself when you started out

>>26963429
Alright man, you got the job? Congrats!

>>26963429
It's probably to excuse any mistakes they make. Now let's start training that sucker.

>>26963482
Hot.

>Trotting over, he obviously sees you coming, large smile on his muzzle
>”Hello sir!”
“Alright! You got the job I see”
>”Well yeah, I mean, you hired me!”
“Well, actually Fruggy, I’m not the owner of the store. I was just filling in yesterday”
>”O-oh”
“But the boss is a great guy, you’ll see”
>”Speak of boss, he told me to give you this”
>Floral passes over a sheet of paper
>Flipping it around, you quickly can it
>’Train the bat. Tell me if he messes up’
>Well, that’s not too hard
>”So, are you like my instructor, or something?”
“I guess so Fruggy”
>”What am I gonna learn today?”
>He looks completely overjoyed, bouncing up and down a little
>It’s a bit silly to see such a large bat behaving this way
>But then again, you were groveling on the floor for a job when you started

>>26963915
Plenty. First day, you'll be shadowing mostly.

Learn how to stock shelves, take inventory, Floral or Ast can teach you how to work the register, how to clean up, pretty simple stuff really.

It's easy to pick up, I'm sure you'll catch on.

“Plenty!”
>He perks up even more
“First day, you'll be shadowing mostly”
>”What’s that entail?”
“That means you’ll be following me and other employees around, watching us do our jobs, and observing. You know, get a feel for things”
>”Uh huh. What kinda things?”
“Oh you know, learn how to stock shelves, take inventory, Floral or Ast can teach you how to work the register, how to clean up. Pretty simple stuff really”
>”That kinda sounds like a lot”
“It's easy to pick up, I'm sure you'll catch on”
>”Oh. Well do we start now?”
“The store opens in about five minutes, so I guess”
>”Eeee!”
>He flaps his wings once in excitement
>”Can you show me how to work the produce section now?”

>>26964319
Sounds good to me.

>His obsession with fruit is a strong one, even greater than yours
>Hopefully that’ll pay off
“Sure, sounds good to me”
>”Alright!”
>You flag for him to follow and trot on back to where the fruit and vegetables are, bat by your side
“Now, the thing about the produce section, is that you’ve always got to keep a good eye on the fruit. One spoiled piece could make us look bad to customers”
>”That won’t be a problem, I’m really good at figuring out how fresh a fruit is”
“Good. Now if you’ll just turn here”
>Trotting along, you enter the main produce aisle, walking him down the way
>”Wow, there’s so much!”
“Yup, Ponemart likes to have some variety”
>He excitedly looks down at every passing rack of produce, some recently misted and sparkling with dew
“So if you work this section you’ll mostly be rotating the fruit in and out, ensuring that none of it is on display too long”
>…
“Fruggy?”
>”Mhmm”
>Looking back you find the bat standing there
>Mango casually shoved in his mouth

>>26964859
I should also remind you that shoplifting is against company policy.

If you're going to eat a fruit, you have to pay for it.

>>26964859
No! Bad!

Use the spray bottle on him.

>>26964859
You're paying for that. You also can't just eat the product. You're on company time. That's one strike against you as well. ( there are no strikes but it will keep him in line.)

“No! Bad!”
>Whizzing around you grab one of the produce spray bottle off the rack, aiming it right at him
>Fruggy’s eyes go wide as he stares down the barrel
>But you do not hesitate, squeezing the trigger, sending a spritz of water at him
>He rears back, trying to wide his face
“Naughty bat. You can’t do that!”
>Another spray and the mango drops from his mouth, falling with a thud onto the floor
>”Please stop, I’m sorry!”
>You spray him one last time just to show of disappointed you are, the bat closing his eyes and scrunching while shaking his head
“You're paying for that”
>After another wipe on his face he looks to you with sad eyes
“Shoplifting is against company policy”
>”I-I’m sorry, it just looked so ripe…”
“You just can’t eat the product Fruggy, you’re on company time. If you’re going to have a friut you have to pay for it”
>”I will, promise!”
“I know you will. And that’s one strike against you as well”
>His eyes grow even wider, lips trembling
>There’s no such things as strikes, but hey, it’ll keep him in line
>”P-please don’t fire me, I didn’t know! I… it just looked really good!”
>He starts looking this way and that, like he’s about to have a panic attack

>>26965415
It's alright. Just ask before doing things, ok?

>>26965415
Dude, do you really think I'm the sort of dick to fire you over something like this?

>>26965415
Just be more careful and consider the consequences of your actions. If you think something will get you in trouble then it probably will.

“Woah, it's alright. Just ask before doing things, ok?”
>”You’re… not gonna fire me?”
“Dude, do you really think I'm the sort of dick to fire you over something like this?”
>”M-maybe?”
>Glad to see he has confidence in you
“Well, just be more careful and consider the consequences of your actions”
>He quickly nods
“If you think something will get you in trouble then it probably will”
>”I’m really not like that, honest. I don’t know what came over me”
“It’s ok, trust me, I know how alluring a mango can be”
>”I know, I should have had more restraint though”
“Hey, buck up. Now let’s go finish this training”
>He smiles once more, following you
>Noon rolls around in no time, yourself too caught up in teaching Fruggy to notice how much time had actually passed
>So far you’ve already shown him how to properly stock shelves and keep the store clean
>Declaring it break time, you walk back to the front of the store, Fruggy already chatting to Floral again at the register
>He sure does seem to be interested in what she has to say
>As you look on, a hoof taps you on the shoulder
>Your boss stands there expectantly
“Oh, hey boss”
>”How’s the new guy working out?”

>>26966086
Pretty good. Guy catches on fast.

>>26966086
He's been alright so far and shows promise. Might have to keep him away from the fruit though if that continues to be a problem. .
Let's try to over hear what she's saying to him.

“Pretty good. I’d say he catches on fast”
>”That’s what I like to hear. If we’re spending money to budget a new employee he better know what he’s doing. Don’t want him crying to Ast every time something goes wrong like you used to do”
“I-I did not”
>”Of course you didn’t”
>You both watch him chat to Floral for a second, the pegasus seeming quite happy to keep him company
>”So over all, you think he’ll do just fine here?”
“I believe so. Might have to keep him away from the fruit though”
>”The fruit? What’d he do to our fruit?”

>>26966549
Turned around, found him with a mango in his mouth.

Don't worry, I got him with the spray bottle and made him go up to the register and pay for it.

I even did the most diabolical thing I could think of. Gave him a strike.

“When I was showing him the produce aisle, I turned around and he had a mango in his mouth”
>He gives you a concerned look, eyes flicking over to Fruggy
“B-but it’s ok, I got him with the spray bottle!”
>”Gar! Are you insane? You want us to get sued?”
“He just needed some discipline boss”
>”Yeah, but the spray bottle?”
“He didn’t seem to mind after he apologized. But I made him carry the fruit to the register and pay for it”
>”And then what?”
“Well, I did the most diabolical thing ever”
>You gesture for him to lean in
“I… gave him a strike”
>”You didn’t”
“I did”
>He shakes his head a couple times
>”Didn’t think you had it in you Gar, but I guess I was wrong”
>Turning, he begins to walk away
>”Just keep an eye on him ok?”
“Will do boss!”
>Looking back to the register you take a couple steps forward, listening in on floral and his conversation
>They seem to be talking about growing plants, Fruggy with a huge grin as they discuss

>>26966979
Let's join in, see what they're talking about.

>>26966979
Go hang out with them. we're a cool supervisor like that. co-workers that get along work better together.

Pausing

>>26967083
I love you

>>26967103
I love him more

>>26967103
>>26967241
Fuck off, he's mine.

>>26967558
Go back to the basement, Craft

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>>26967793
b-but hero saved me.

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>>26968053
He's gone Craft

doot

should have spritzed Shade

I'm actually really happy for Gar. Moving up in his business and he's actually doing a good job.

Good on him.

>>26968979

>>26971251
is he, dare we say, a good pony?

>>26972082
I'd give him a spoonful of peanut butter for being such a good pony.

>You should probably go join in
>Everypony likes that cool supervisor that converses with the store peasants
>Trotting up you take a spot right next to Fruggy
>”Oh, hello”
“Hey Fruggy. I see you’ve met Floral”
>”I sure have!”
“Well, sounds like you’ve already made a friend”
>”You bet, Floral’s the best”
>Floral rolls her eyes, grinning profusely
“What’re you two talking about?”
>”Oh you know, just botany, plants. Fruggy here told me that he wants to do that stuff”
>”Did you know Floral sells her own plant grower?”
“Yup, she even showed me a bottle of it at her house”
>”By the way Gar, how’s that cactus that I gave you?”
>Cactus? What cac-
>Oh no
>Did you even take it out of the bag when you got home?
>"He was a little sickly, but I know that he's doing just fine at your place, right?"

>>26974348
I don't remember ever being given a cactus. Ask how often it needs to be watered. You've been busy the last few days.

>>26974348
How many days ago was that?

>>26974348
Look inside our bag.

Find that it's probably dead.

>>26974348
Uh sure. It's doing just fine. I water it once a month except for the winter, when it goes into hibernation. R-right?

>>26974505
I thought this was bullshit, but apparently Cacti really do hibernate according to Google. Learn something new every day.

“C-cactus?”
>”Yeah, the one I gave you when you came over”
“Oh…”
“And uh, how many days ago was that?”
>She gives you a confused look
>”I don’t know, a few. Why?”
“Just wondering”
>”Well how he’s doing?”
>You ever so slightly open the flap on your bag, peaking inside
>A sickly, crushed looking cactus greets you
>Immediately dropping the flap you look ahead
“H-he’s fine. I water it once a month!”
>”Heh, well you’ve only had it a few days”
“Oh, right. Well, I’ve been busy that past few days. How often should I water it?”
>”Oh just once a week, it wets to nutrients in the soil. In fact, if you want I can swing by after work and drop off a bottle of my growth hormone for it!”

>>26974929
it's roots are still alive so it can make a recovery right? We better water it now in the bathroom.

>>26974982
It's only been a few days. It should be fine.

>>26974993
This. We don't want a wet stallion purse.

>>26974929
It's just a little squashed and light deprived. Put it in a windowsill and it'll be fine. Water once a week like she said. It's not due for another few more days.

>>26974993
This.

“No, that’s alright. I mean, it’s only been a few days, he’s going just fine”
>She shrugs her shoulder
>”Suit yourself”
>Thinking back to that poor plant in your bag, you try to reassure yourself
>Its roots are still alive, that means it can recover, right?
>It’s only a little squashed and light deprived. A couple days on the window sill and it’ll be as good as new!
>You hope…
>Looking back up to the clock you notice that there’s only a couple of minutes of break left
“Alright Fruggy, break over”
>”Aw…”
“Come on, you can talk to Floral later”
>You manage you pull him away from the register, bat still trying to babble to her about plants
>”So what am I gonna learn now? Do I get to help customers?”

>>26975485
Only if they look like they need help. Customers can typically take care of things themselves, though always be on the look out for them.

“Only if they look like they need help. Customers can typically take care of things themselves, but always be on the lookout for them”
>”So just hang back until they come find me?”
“Sometimes. But if you see a pony looking around, or being indecisive, it’s a good idea to ask”
>”Got it!”
“Good. Now if you’ll follow m-“
>”Hey Gar, boss wants you”
“Oh. Uh, hang out here Fruggy, I’ll be right back”
>He nods
>Trotting to Ast you start to walk over to the office
“What’s he want?”
>”I don’t know, he just wants to see you”
>Thanking her regardless you walk on by, your marefriend headed off back to her job
>Reaching the door, you knock on it, gently pushing it open
“Uh, boss?”
>”Yeah, come on in”
>You do so, shutting the door
“You needed me?”
>”I just need you to fill out some forms, put your seal of approval on Fruggy”
“So… he’s got the job?”
>”I think he’s got what it takes if what you say is true. Go ahead and sign off on him, and I’ll approve it”
>Reaching for a pen you do so, your magic quickly scrawling your signature
>Holding it back up to his face, the boss nods, placing it into a folder
>”Well, I guess you better go tell him he’s got a job”
“I’m sure he’ll be static, guy really wanted one”
>”He’s an odd one, but I’m sure th-“
>Both of you nearly jump, high pitched screeching hitting your ears
>”Wh-what the hell?”
>You both scramble for the door, your boss nearly trampling you as you both fling it open
>The first thing you see is Fruggy across the store, the large bat holding another pony on the ground who flails around
>”Get off of me! Just let me go!”
>Fruggy just continues to glare down at him, trying to keep a hold

>>26976091
Fruggy, what's going on?

>>26976091
What did he do, Fruggy?

>>26976091
this better be good. what do you think you're doing frup?

“Fruggy!”
>The doesn’t even acknowledge you, holding the still squirming unicorn against the floor
>Both you and our boss gallop over at top speed, joining the shocked Floral and Ast nearby
>”Hey!”
>He finally looks up to you and your boss
>”What the hell are you doing?”
>”I… he-“
“What’d he do Fruggy?”
>”I didn’t do anything!”
“Shut up! What’d he do, out with it!”
>”He... he stole mangoes!”
>”I did not! What do you think I’m some kinda bat?”
>Fruggy glares at him even harder, pushing his hoof down with more force
>”He did too. I could smell them in his bag when he tried to walk out!”
>The boss reaches over, picking up the bag
>Immediately several fruits go rolling out
>”See? I told you!”
>”I was going to pay for them!”
>”No he wasn’t, he was leaving! He was walking out the door!”

>>26976678
tell them we have cameras installed and we can just review the footage. are they both sure they want to stick to their stories?

>fruggy has superior smelling
>store has problems with mangoes
He's a perfect new member!
Though, I doubt condoms would be as well protected.

>>26976813
He can smell horny stallion from 20 paces.

>>26976813
don't forget his bat hearing.

>They both stare at each other, flames in their eyes as they scrunch
“Hey!”
>Both ponies finally look over to you
“You both know we have cameras installed? We can just review the footage”
>Fruggy and the unicorn quickly exchange a glance before looking back
“You sure you both want to stick to your stories?”
>”Yes.”
>Fruggy stands there, confidently
>His prisoner doesn’t look as sure
>Your boss steps forward
>“Well? Because somepony here is wrong”
>Sighing, he shakes his head
>”Alright, I was shoplifting, alright? The bat got me”
>Fruggy flares his nostrils, satisfied look on his muzzle
>”I’m sorry, ok? Please, can I just go? I won’t do it again, promise”

>>26977184
Well boss, it's up to you. Your product.

>>26977184
who knows how many stores he's been shoplifting from and what he's been shoplifting! Then again we can just ask for his name and tell him he's banned from the store for a month.

“Well, that’s not up to me”
>You look over to your boss, who just stares at the stallion
>”How many time you shoplifted from this place?”
>”None, I swear. I just… this was the first time ok?”
>You watch as your boss rubs his chin
>”Hmmm… Fruggy, get off him”
>The bat obeys, the unicorn rising as he lets go
>”Now you listen here. If you ever walk back in here again, you’ll be dealing with the cops. Got it?”
>He meekly nods
>”Now get”
>Wasting no time the unicorn runs past you, rocketing out the door
>”I don’t get another strike for this… right?”
>Fruggy peers to all of you with an embarrassed look

>>26977586
Of course not. If what you said was true, you did pretty much everything right.

Identified a shoplifter, confronted them after the point of last sale, and properly detained them.
I'd say that's worth a pat on the back, don't you boss?

Also, other good news. I just signed the papers, and you're now officially a ponemart employee.

>>26977586
you get a pat on the back for your noble deed and a mango on us. you still have to wear the hat though.

>>26977586
no strikes.

Tell you what though, you can inspect the fruit he was stealing and if any of them are not fit for the shelf, then you can 'dispose' of them. i trust your judgement on which are fit.

>>26977586
Damn boss, maybe you should send Fruggy to a seminar.

>>26977656
But then we'll get replaced, anon.

>”Why would we do that?”
>”Well, Gar sprayed me when I did something wrong, and I just kinda… beat a pony”
>Your hoof comes down on his back, the bat nearly jumping
>But he soon clams as he realizes that you’re patting it
“I’d say under the circumstances, you’re in the clear”
>”Really?”
“Of course. If what you said was true, you did pretty much everything right. Identified a shoplifter, confronted them after the point of last sale, and properly detained them I'd say that's worth a pat on the back, don't you boss?”
>”I’d say it’s worth much more than that”
>He walks over, extending his hoof
>”Congregations Fruggy. You are now officially Ponemart staff”
>His eyes immediately dilate, practically sparkling
>”This… isn’t a joke”
>”Nope. Me and Gar signed the papers. You’re official”
>”EEEEEE! Thank you!”
“You still got wear the hat though”
>”Aw…”
>”Just until training is over”
“Hey you know boss, maybe you should send Fruggy to a seminar, eh?”
>”Heh. In time maybe. But for now, we’ve got a business to run, so everypony back to work”
>Floral and Ast give Fruggy one last congratulations before dispersing along with the boss
>”So Gar, what are we gonna do with the stolen goods”
“Hmm… tell you what, you can inspect the fruit he was stealing and if any of them are not fit for the shelf, then you can 'dispose' of them. I trust your judgement on which are fit”
>You quickly wink
>”Gar… you’re the best new employee trainer ever. Maybe one day I can have a position like you”

>>26978058
Not as long as I'm still here.

>>26978058
Hey. Maybe someday.

>>26978072
he can always transfer to a new store.
or, dare we dream, we could be promoted to assistant manager!

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wow

Pausing

>>26978121
I love you.

>>26978112
Just remember, in the next week it's all over

>>26978121
I love you the mostest

>>26978143
>Not going for 3 more threads so you can bypass RGS in word count

>>26978159
I'm sorry anon, it's over

>>26978072
>>26978101
Or more likely, he's our replacement for when we die in an explosion

>>26978254
im sure he'll take good care of Ast too.

>>26978187
You're about as convincing as Nobby's >tomorrow

>>26978187
Reminder that the previous thread was supposed to be the last one.

boop

>>26979368

>>26978254
>we trained our future cucker

boop

beep

>>26982211

How long until Floral makes Fruggy disappear?

>>26983606
Never. Fruggy's been spritzed. We spoiled the catch, he's no good anymore.

>>26983621
We should probably sprtiz all stallions entering the store. Including ourselves

>>26983637
But that would get us sued.

>>26983644
If only they knew the dangers of being unspritzed

>>26983644
dammit. we're getting to the bottom of this fucking floral shit once and for all. Let's straight up ask her if she's the one taking stallions and what she does with them.

>>26983606
We'll just explain to her that the next time she wants to go home early Fruggy will be available to cover the shift.

>>26983692
Res will never give a direct answer.
and he really shouldn't.
Some memes should remain dreams.

>>26983834
He should because memes are stupid.

>>26983834
This. Keep it ambiguous.

>>26983950
well then the answer is just going to be that no, floral is not a serial rapist/kidnapper and all you would have accomplished is ruin a bit of fun for people who like to joke about the ant farm.

>>26983692
They're in her wingpits obviously

quite the pickle

“Heh, maybe someday… but not as long as I’m here”
>”Oh, I’m nowhere near good enough to ever do that. Heck, I was eating store property just today!”
>He shakes his head
>”I hope that doesn’t follow me on my permanent record”
“I have a feeling after what you did, your record will be expunged”
>”Really?”
“I’m sure of it. Now come on, we got some training to do. You can ‘dispose’ of those mangoes in the meantime”
>Hours later, and the clipping of hooves exit the store, the final customers beginning to leave
>Fruggy is in the back somewhere sweeping a floor
>The boss is in his office, taking care of some last minute stuff
>Ast stands on her tippy hooves, pushing some product onto the shelve that she’s stocking
>Trotting over to the checkout, Floral casually reads a magazine, flipping to the next page
>As you trot on by she looks up, flicking a wing in front of you, your hooves coming to a screeching halt before it
>”How’s our new employee coming along?”
“Oh, just fine. I’m proud of him for stopping that shoplifter”
>”He seems to be a hard worker. A lively talker too, you should see him babble on and on to me during breaks”

>>26986199
I'm proud and ashamed of you ast.
ask if she likes him so far then.

>>26986199
yeah, he seems happy to have a job thats for sure. its refreshing.

>>26986245
>I'm proud and ashamed of you ast.
what

>>26986199
I saw. Glad you too have something you can talk about.

>>26986355
she could have used her magic but she is actually trying to do it by hoof.

>>26986410
>using magic to stock shelves
But where's the love in that?

“I saw. He seems happy to have a job, that’s for sure. It’s refreshing to see someone so excited about it”
>”You used to be pretty excited about your job. Well, until they actually made you do stuff that is”
“Well I think Fruggy won’t make the same mistakes I did”
>”That’s not hard to do”
>She gives you a smug little grin, your eyes rolling in response
“So what, you two talk about plants?”
>”Yeah, it seems to be a common interest, him being a frugivore and all”
“Glad you too have something you can talk about”
>”Eh, it helps the day go by”
>She idly flips another magazine page, her red eyes taking a moment to look it over
“So do you like him so far then?”
>Looking back up she nods
>”Yeah, I like him. Problem is I think he might like me”
“Hm?”
>”I think he’s attracted to me… But hey, who can blame him?”
>She twirls a hoof innocently in her mane, smug look intensifying

>>26986722
Aren't you with Shade?

>>26986722
well, don't break his heart like you did mine.

>>26986722
ah. Think its going to be a problem?

“Aren’t you with Shade?”
>”Yeah. I haven’t told Fruggy that yet though”
“Ah… think it’s going to be a problem?”
>”No, I’m sure when I tell him he’ll take it just fine. He seems like a good guy”
“Well, don't break his heart like you did mine”
>You give her a playful wink
>Only to get a face full of feathers, softly rubbing against your chin
>Flustered, you back away
>”You had your chance Gar, I was here anytime waiting for you… well, that is until Shade swept me off my hooves”
“Still getting along fine with him?”
>”He’s a real gentlebat”
>Of course
>”But that still doesn’t stop me from getting my way~”
>Damn feather succubus
>Glancing over to the clock, you note the time
“Whelp, it’s about that time”
>”Yeah, I’ll start closing up here. I think all the customers are gone”
“I suppose I’ll start shutting down too”
>Trotting away, you start heading to go find Fruggy
>That is until a green unicorn appears out of nowhere, rubbing against your side like a cat
>”Hey there mr. manager, what’s going on?”

>>26987277
Getting ready to go home. Give her a kiss.

>>26987277
C-can I help you?

>>26987313
Oh. Never mind. That green unicorn. Disregard me, I'm an idiot.

>>26987277
Oh you know, just closing up. How was your day?

>>26987318
>Thinking any other mare on the planet would be interested in Gar

>>26987364
>floral
>nightlight

>>26987387
>Slut
>Huge assed bat who only wants a stallion to sit on

“Oh you know, just closing up, getting ready to go home”
>Leaning down you give her a quick smooch before continuing onwards, Ast at your side
“How was your day?”
>”Nothing special. I spent 15 minutes reaching up and stocking shelves before I realized I could just use my magic”
“Huh. Sounds like something I would do”
>”Yeah, but that’s what happens after being on your hooves all day”
“Well I was training Fruggy all day, so I had my hooves full”
>”I saw that. After tackling that shoplifter, I don’t think there’s a doubt that he’ll be a great worker”
“It’ll be nice to have some help around here”
>”Speaking of help, I heard that Floral had to set up your new TV”
“Oh… w-well kinda”
>”How come you never grovel at MY hooves when you have a problem?”

>>26987728
Mostly because you never make me.

>>26987728
Damn you floral! Tell everyone that comes to the store why don't ya. the answer is because we know she loves us and would never make us grovel. Right?