ITT: We Analysis our waifu's on arbitrary criteria. Then criticize and trigger each other, sometimes because of honest evaluation.
I'll start......
>Home Life
I imagine Harshwhinny would be a secret high functioning alcoholic. She'd probably just keep cases upon cases of scotch, whisky, brandy and many other sorts of liquors in the basement. But not wine, that's for faggots.
She'd be the kind of nigga that'd start a conversation with you, but really only want to talk about herself. A typical conversation would go like how was your day? Then lead to it being hour 3 of her rant about how she's getting tired of the fucking class action lawsuit against her company for not hiring Ziggers because their lazy.
>Personality
She'd be strike and hard-hearted on the outside. Putting up a massive front against the world, but in reality she's kind of just a sad sack who stays home a lot and who's only social interaction is corporate events and work related things.
>Typical Dates
Probably Dorsia, t b h, we'd probably just go to restaurants that have a bar, then sit at the bar, and then she'd get super shit faced.
>Interactions with friends and family
They'd think I'm a faggot for being with a pony.
In time they'd accept it. But they'd still think I'm a faggot, she'd never want to see them, mainly because she says too busy to visit.
>What she'd think of me
At one point she remembered that I was an Engineer, and a certified one at that. But as time would push on, she'd forget that, and just enjoy my company. At some point she just assumed I was an accountent...the career I told her I hated the most.
She'd think I was dependable and would stick to me like glue when I was around, while whispering racist things to me.
>Faggotry that may ensue
She'd go through suicidal fits. Mainly centered around the whole "NOBODY LIKES ME!!!!" theme. I'd have to stay up all night to make sure she doesn't suck a shotgun off.
>IN GENERAL
It would be a codependent relationship.
>Kissu
She'd be great at it. Though her horse lips may kind of vacuum my own into her mouth, and it would probably tickle.
>Cooking
When I say breakfast for dinner, I actually mean dinner for breakfast, and she gets that. You don't get that level of understanding with your match.coms and your Ashley Madisons.
>Cleaning
She gets me squeaky clean in the tub, and the house is usually smelling of hay and lemon, but sometimes I find pee on the toilet seat. 7/10.
>Clown Defense
Mandatory. Absolutely mandatory.
>Not Deleting My Recordings
Needs improvement.
>Algebra Homework
Check.
>Couponing
Yeah.
>Hot Diggety Dawg
Darn tootin'.
This is the waifu equivalent of that trusty pair of sweatpants you've had for 3 years, the ones you throw on commando after peeling off those sweaty briefs from a hard day's grind, catapulting into the Lazy Boy and just fusidhfhsfhsdlkfasklgasbgkljadfmbjfguysfvbj xcvsfnv
>IN GENERAL
One Wai Fus All. Nothing like cradling her peachbottom in my hand as we snuggle and watch Discovery Channel adverts.
>>27839272
sounds like a real beeyotch to be earnest fammerstein
>>27839450
Are you drunk too Anon?....I'm pretty drunk honestly.
>>27839272
>Bacon
It's pretty hard to cook bacon badly. That said, I think Glimglim's bacon would be the best thing ever, since the lines of meat and fat would remind her of equal marks.
>Necktie
Ooh, necktie. There are so many kinky things I'd do with her with a black necktie around her neck. And she'd love every one of them, naturally.
>Caligula's Horse
Humans and ponies can't breed (inb4 satyrs; they're shit) so when we get married, we'll get a puppy. When that puppy matures, we'll make her the town psychologist. I think the only therapy necessary in Our Town is the occasional session in the time-out shed, but a dog would still be better at therapy than some snake oil salespony with a meme degree.
>Wheels
Some ponies don't trust wheels. Perfectly understandable; wheels are the primary cause of roadkill. But I'm going to buy her a giant peppermint candy wheel for her birthday this year, and I think she'll love it.
>Fireworks
A romantic night of cuddling and watching fireworks bursting in the sky would be enhanced by the anguished screams of thoughtcriminals in the time-out shed being blinded by the light of truth.
>What she'd think of me
She'd love me for loving her for her instead of what she pretends to be. And my generosity. As you may tell from above, I'm a very loving and generous person.
>IN GENERAL
It would be a divine matrimony made in heaven by god, Jesus, and the bear conductor.
>>27839618
No, but that's a good idea.
>>27839637
>fireworks
>puppy
>gifts
>generous
>the
Holy shit brah, she's
U S I N G Y O U
S
I
N
G
Y
O
U
Wake and smell the horse pucky! That commie horse has declared your wallet property of the state!
>>27839637
>Bacon
No, she'd make it average at best.
>Necktie
Well, to be honest, sex would probably be pretty average. Like only missionary or doggy style, followed by a marathon of CNN. This would probably be a monthly thing pre-scheduled of course. Can't have any surprises, and I hope you like condoms, cause she does, with no lube, can't have any lube.
>Caligula's Horse
A dog?
Naa bru, that's too exciting for her, she'd settle on adopting a nice plant and by plant I mean she'd just grow grass in a vase. I mean too many colors is just plain rebellious, and she an't havin any of that shit famalamabam.
>Wheels
>>Not getting her a white a simple letter with a gift card in it.
Do you want her to hate you? That peppermint is far too unique for her taste.
>Fireworks
Really nigga?
Fireworks are the bastard product of the capitalist pig and zionist Jews!
She'd never allow it. No, a simple night of potato soup and warm water will suffice for date night you nigger.
>What she'd think of me
Mediocre is a word she'd use to describe you or any lover she has because that's the highest praise she can give.
>"You're soo average Anon, so simple."
I mean, when she tells you that, you know she's wet.
>In general
No it'd be an average matrimony with not too many out of the ordinary things happening.
>>27839768
Kek
>>27839734
Hue
>>27839768
Fireworks are the product of the Chinese.
>>27841340
THAT'S WHAT THE JEWS WANT YOU TO THINK!
>Cooking
Her cutiemark revolves around making food, specifically cookies, but I'm sure she can still make great food besides desserts. I look at her and say, "Wow, I bet that horse can make some bomb ass oatmeal," and I'm probably right.
>Home life
Again, she seems like the type to always want to be cooking something, a real product of the nuclear age. This is a plus, for me at least, because she will probably like same music I do, which will be helpful when slow dancing in the livingroom to Sinatra at 12:00 PM.
She'll also keep the house spotless, again, plus.
I assume she has a job though, so while she won't be a fully committed house-wife in definition, she'll be one in spirit, giving massages to you after a long day at work, in return for belly rubs, of course.
>Personality
While she is a successful Canterlot restruant owner, she doesn't seem to harbor the elitist personality many Canterlotian ponies do. Infact, she seems much more shy and demure.
She really hasn't spoken much though, so her real personality is really a mystery.
>Kissu
True to her name and cutiemark, she'd probably taste like sweet cookies. The ones on her butt look like chocolate, so I'll factor that into the equation as well. I think she would need some time to warm up to the kiss, and I can very well see her being a virgin, so I'd imagine she would be an inexperienced kisser, not nessecarily bad.
>Overall
Solid waifu for a waifu with not much character development, Sweet Biscuit can hold her own with the best of them. I would stuff my face into her cookie.
>being this autistic
there's a very noticeable line between being having a waifu and imagining every specific detail in this supposed relationship
please don't cross this line
>>27841566
>Don't imagine doing things with your waifu!
Seriously, faggot? There are waifu-related things to discourage, like blaming your misery on her over "she's not real" and getting hurt over shipping, but imagining doing things with her isn't one of them.
>>27841553
That's a cute pony.
>>27841553
>virgin
You're spot on m8, except for that part.That's how I know the rest is accurate.
>>27839272
>starting with your own waifu
>sharing head canons
