>"I want to do sex with you"
>>27829803
>tfw no mailmare qt3.14 gf
>do sex
Learn english m8
>>27829803
>Pat her on the head.
>>27829803
Derpy, stop giving me that 'bedroom eyes' stare
You're making me uncomfortable...
>>27829872
Put you're dick in her pussy, faggot.
>>27829803
>>27829803
>>27829887
>Want to get mad about air headed Derpy.
>But she is a canon airhead, and Slice of Life was cute.
>>27829872
>Derpy finally has a crush
>It's on Anon
>Now the town has to pull all the strings to make sure this happens, or else Derpy might end up dying alone
>It also keeps Anon busy from annoying the fuck out of everyone else
>They have town hall meetings to plan this
>>27829881
But I love her as a daughter!
>>27829913
> or else Derpy might end up dying alone
On the other hand, that sounds equally terrible
>>27829803
>>27829913
>obligatory 'the town tries to keep it a secret from her and she thinks that the town doesn't like her' scene/ short arc.
>>27829887
That's cute as fuck
>>27829913
>It works; the Town 'Tard and the Avatar of Autism become a thing
>Unforseen circumstances arise; they amplify each other's negative traits
>However, because they are in a relationship, as long as their other half approves, they keep doing really dumb shit
>The town must now find a way to break up the Downs Syndrome Duo
>Derpy is too stupid to fall for the poorly-veiled attempts at breaking them up and Anon is too autistic to see anything wrong with a mare that's actually willing to fuck him
>Twilight writes a letter to Celestia detailing some stupid lesson that the audience should have already learnedDerpy is qt as fuck, though.
>>27830079
>>27829984
>>27829929
Is anon a spaghetti splurging autist or is he a typical asshole who keeps pushing the line?
>>27830113
The line between those two is often a very fine one.
>>27830113
>>27830166
THIS
If balanced and mixed, the make for a GREAT combination.
>>27830185
What about the one where Anon realizes what is going on and just takes Derpy on some pity dates but they end up working out in the end?and then a skeleton pops out.
>>27830200
>>27830200
cute andspoopy
>>27830200
Was that a thing?
Can I have a link?
>>27829803
>Do the dirty deed with the wall eyed mare.
>Wake up the next morning to a pair of eyes staring at you at the bedside.
>Nearly shit your pants and in your scramble manage to knock Derpy out of the bed and tangle the both of you in the sheets.
>Dinky just walks over to the other side of the bet to the crumpled mass of blanket, feathers and shame.
>"You two are loud, and I have school in an hour, mom."
>>27829803
I miss the green text stories.
>>27830274
Tell her to get Sparkler to take her, you are busy eating Derpy's muffin.
>>27830274
>single mother
That'd be a NOPE
>>27830567
>Not wanting to bed a single mother.
>>27830583
This.
>>27830113
Truly my greatest task is balancing these two factors. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be the wisecracking fool who makes fun of everyone and everything while being a high functioning autist? Derpy is just a means to pacify the town. Allowing me to focus on my real target. Stop Twilight Sparklefrom ruining all my chocolate milk REEE
>>27830583
>>27830689
We need gentlemen like you at this thread
>>27829825
>>27829913
>>27830079
>>27830113
>>27830694
Cue theme
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5U9uOWRaN34
>>27829913
I'm thinking about it
>Be Twilight
>You enter town hall
>Busy with notes and other last minute shit
>The building is filled to the brim with all of Ponyville's finest
>Every Mare, Stallion, Colt and Filly was present, with two exceptions
>All the ponies rabbled amongst each other
>Mayor Mare stood at th podium nodding to some ponies in the crowd
>You make your way through the thicket of equine, well, dumbasses and reach the podium
>Mayor Mare smiles at you and stands aside for you to take the plate
>She whisper's in your ear
>"Ms. Do went home early and is probably asleep by now."
>Good, that left Anon, home alone at your place jerking off to medical books
>You tap the microphone twice, the sound rebuddling around the room
>Ponies look around to give you your attention
"Testing one, two."
>You hear it fine and get a hoofs up from the crowd
>What the fuck is hoof up suppose to mean?
>Whatever
"Hello, everypony, I'm sure you're wondering why we're all here?"
>Some nodding and murmuring came from the crowd
"Well, first of all, we have Anon, the giant bipedal alien from another planet. We haven't learned too much from him in the time he's been here on Equestria, but we do know that he is a complete autist who is worse at making friends than me"
>There a brief pause where ponies talked amongst each other, most of them in agreement
>>27831463
"Then there is Ditzy Do, or Derpy. She is a friendly, happy go lucky clutz who keeps ruining shit around town"
>More talking and agreement
"So, these two, for only being two po- people, they continue to ruin things all around Ponyville and annoy the fuck out of everyone"
>The crowd then errupted in ferver
>"He called me a 'faggot'"
>"She ruined my garden last week"
>"He ruined my moment when I was about to go down on my wife"
>"She destroyed my home"
>"He destroyed my optimistic world views"
>"She litterally destroyed my home. I am litterally forced to live in a motel"
"Attention, attention everyone"
>The town settled only after a while, before you could reign everyone in
"So, I called this to call attention to making a plan to solve this"
>"Let's roit in the streets"
>"We build a wall and make the changelings pay for it"
>"Let's all buy some appuls"
"No, no, no, we already have an oppertunity opening up. I heard it from Applejack who heard it from Daisy who heard it from Carrottop who heard it from Dinky who overheard it from Shi' Opnar, Demon of the Bathroom Shadows who heard it from Derpy, that Derpy has a warm feeling for Anon"
>You hear a lesbian in the crowd
>"Say what?"
>You sigh
"'Opertunity' means, 'chance' Rainbow Dash"
>"Oh, got it, Egghead."
"So, with all this, we can probably use this to our advantage. If Anon and Derpy were together, Derpy would have someone look after her all the time and decrease the amount of fuckups she has most of the time and Anon would be less autistic and might stop grabbing at his crotch all the time when he thinks we aren't looking"
>>27831468
>Theres a resounding feeling of mutial agreement in the crowd as they discuss this amongst themselves
>"But wait,"
>You look over to Mayor Mare
>"What are the risks iinvolved in this endevour?"
>You rub a hoof on your chin and bite your tongue as you crunch some numbers
"At best, we can start to afford that ball pit we've always wanted,"
>The crowd errupts in chanting, "BALL PIT" over and over again
>It takes minutes before the crowd calms down and look back at you
"at worse the the town's burned to the ground"
>You here mister Cake Speak up, "'The town on fire', that's it!?" he looks happily over to his wife, "We have nothing to lose!"
>The crowd errupts in one "HUZZAH", before they carry on cheering into the night time sky, "Ball Pit"
>>27831473
>Be Twilight
>It's the next day
>So of course being the Princess of Equestria, being the personal student of god, being a mare three motherfucking degrees, of course your hiding in a bush outside of your own home to get a glimpse of Derpy and Anon talking
>You made a machine to fuck a bookshelf into assembly; that makes all this feel very... primitive
>You put your bonoculars down and look over at Rarity, who is wearing her own set looking straight ahead at your front door where Anon stood at the mailbox
"Rarity are you sure about this?"
>"Of course, Darling, there's no way we can let Anonymous or Derpy hear about our plan. It must be organic to work"
"I dunno. I mean, sure Anon would mess up everything if he actually tried to ask Derpy out, but Derpy can probably handle it"
>"Twilight, she's a litteral retard. I don't want to confuse the poor dear's fragile little mind as it is on where the mail slot is on my door"
>Holy shit Rarity, you don't have to act like a complete bitch when she's not around
"So, this is the first part of my plan, reconansance, which is where I take notes of how Derpy and Anon might talk. Details I can write down, so why did you volinteer to follow along."
>"Twilight there are some subtler things that I cannot trust anyone but myself to pick up. No offence to you, but you may not be as well versed in picking up hints from mares or stallions pursuing a relationship"
>Holy shit, that bitch
>>27831477
"... uh, anyways, erhherm, uh, so you know what I planned is that Derpy has a letter to deliver top priority to the treehouse, so I asked Anon to pick it up. That way Anon would meet Derpy for the first time and maybe make small talk and we'll figure out more from there. Sounds good?"
>"It might work for a start. We'll see what we can gleam soon then."
>She smiles and waves to you
>"There she comes"
>You hastily put on your own set of bonoculars and look out
>There's the walleyed mailmare
>She flies over in her adorable little mailmare outfit
>She sets over her saddlebag
>She fishes out a package
>She takes a clipboard into her mouth and offers it to Anon
>Anon takes it
>Signs it
>They part ways
>....
>Shieeeet
>You wasted three hours with this white whore next to you for that?
>You look over to Rarity with sunken eyes
"Please tell me you got something"
>Rarity looks to you with a enthusiastic smile
>"Oh my, yes, this is brilliant, brilliant Twilight. This plan of yours to get Anon and Derpy together just might work."
>What?
"What?"
>Medical books.
>Implying that the pages are not stuck together because of the medicine on the pages...
>>27831484
Alright that's all I got for tonight. If people care enough about this I'll continue tomorrow
>>27831484
>Treehouse.
Hello Darkness my old friend...
>>27831497
Moar pls
>Fucking a semi retarded horse.
I can get behind that...
>>27831497
bumping for more
>>27829803
is that alfa?
>Micheal bay explosion
oh no
>>27835478
shit was kinda hoping this thread would die, and I didn't have to write anymore. Oh well, back to the worddoc
>>27836228
Your doing great buddy.
Thanks for the green so far.
>>27831484
"Uh, you mind filling in some gaps Rare. I'm pulling up nothing."
>She looks to you with her proudest smug anime face with half lid eyes
>"Why certaintly my dear."
>"First there was the way Derpy flew"
"There wasn't anything wierd with her flying, besides you know, always seeming to be one wings flap to crashing into the World Trade Center"
>"Well it wasn't exactly the way she flew, but the way she landed. As soon as she hit the ground and saw anon, she did a little skip afterward."
"Let's not overanylize here, I think that was her stabalizing"
>"No it was very so much a skip"
>You roll your eyes
"Alright, what else did you see?"
>"For breif moment, Derpy was hesitant, nervous and embarassed"
"What"
>"You could see it on her face, her wings were also fidgetty"
"Well I guess,"
>"Then there was Anon"
"What about Anon?"
>"Did you see him being nervous, mumbling, swinging back and forth from leg to leg, or being sarcastic while looking for a way to position his arms"
"No, he just stood up still and talked"
>"Exactly"
"That's right Rarity, he usually is doing something or another that signals him out of place, but here he was completely fine."
>"He was comfortable with her pressence. The Derpy was thrashing through her bag violently, trying not to get anything wrong in front of her beloved"
"Well okayish."
>"He signed the form with a cool demenor, very unlike his usual self, and was smiling all the while. She left in a hurry, she was very nervous, but left with a blush. All the right signs are there Twilight!"
>>27837356
"Alright, Rarity there could be some substance to what you say, but now how do we take the first step."
>"Well, they don't really know each other, but they both know us"
Okay my heart really isn't into this. anyone else can pick this up. I'm done with this for now.
>>27837369
Thanks for it though, was pretty nice.
>>27829803
You are cute, and have a hell of a rear.
bump
>>27837369
No! You were the chosen one!
