Previous thread: >>27624413
GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
>>27645035
That's not a ring...not at all. Thank you.
Stay at home dad edition.
>>27645065
>Stay at home dad
You mean Stay-at-home MOM, right?
>>27645052
Nope, it's a sock.
>>27645077
She is terrible wife, she is the bred winner not the house maker.
>>27645077
I don't think you understand what REVERSED gender roles means.
>>27645035
>That teeny Applebloom
>No more GiantAnon in tiny Ponyville never ever.
>>27645091
A stay-at-home mom is just a regular mom in this universe. We call that a house-wife. It's the men who prefer the term stay-at-home dad, rather than House-husband.
In RGRE, it would be the inverse.
>>27645083
Looking at the size of those hands, that's a pretty damn small sock.
>>27645151
Anon will need a lot of duct tape.
>>27645163
She's a big filly
>>27645174
When I pull of her ribbon, will she die?
>>27645194
It would mess up her mane extremely well.
>>27645035
>myself
Not
>ma self
Ruins it.
Are RGRE mares arguing like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI2GVcjXXI8
>>27645283
No, I think it'd be more like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSNJaJoOMao&ab_channel=caden7836
For fuck's sake, I'm doing my damnedest to drop an update, and I can't keep a connection for more than 15 seconds. Don't wait up, I'm heading to starbucks or some shit tomorrow to post my update.
>>27645341
Starbucks - We help people post ponies.
>>27645347
>>27645341
Fuck it, here goes nothing.
If this stops halfway through, it's because Time Warner Cable gargles donkey balls.
>You are Anonymous.
>And while you hadn’t managed to see much of ‘Horsetown’, you were pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to have a slowly rotating cyclone of tar black clouds above it.
> You were definitely sure they shouldn’t be a pillar of pulsating green light coming from near the center of town.
>And you were absolutely certain that whenever these two things got together that it was some apocalyptic shit about to go down.
>Alright, that’s not true.
>You originally thought this might just be another crazy part of this crazy world, but the running and screaming townsfolk put a stop to that kind of thinking.
“Shit.”
>That was all you managed to say before a wave of green fire rolled through the avenue, pouring around corners and out of alleyways before you even had a chance to soil yourself in terror.
>Luckily for you, green fire is far healthier than regular orange, or say, blue fire.
>You barely even felt it.
>If anything, it was cold, not hot.
>It was almost like someone turned on a really big fan for half a second, and then went on their merry way.
>You blink in dumbstruck silence for a moment.
>Then you notice it.
>The silence.
>Not seconds ago the streets were full of screaming, panicked, delightfully pastel miniature equines.
>You glance around, surveying the situation.
>Property and Possessions: Untouched
>Colorful Micro-Horses: Fuckin wasted
>Okay, good to note, while green fire is non-toxic to humans, and fine for the environment, it’s very bad for horses.
>Like tomatoes, or the green part of a potato in large quantities.
>Fucking hell, your mind always went to weird places when you were scared or nervous.
>You trot across the street, warily eyeing the sickly, green hued column of energy as you kneel down next to a fallen minty green unicorn.
>>27645374
>You spot the slow rise and fall of her chest, and you feel immense relief.
>They might not be human, but you’re not a heartless bastard.
>She doesn’t appear burned, or even hurt, but like the rest she’s completely non-responsive.
>You snap your fingers next to her head.
>Her ears twitch a bit, and her eyes flutter, as if she was trying to wake from a bad dream.
>Freaky.
>A low rumble reaches your ears, drawing your gaze back to the spooky shit happening a few streets over.
>Fuck.
>Okay . . . so there was a correlation between spooky shit and hurt equines.
>You didn’t like hurt equines, they were far too adorable to suffer such a fate.
>Ergo, you didn’t like things that hurt horses.
>Not a massive leap of logic to assume the mean green is the source.
>It IS a massive leap of logic, however, to assume you can fix this.
>Best thing you can do is book it, leave this to the professionals.
>You dust yourself off as you stand, getting ready to do your best Kenyan impersonation, but you have this tiny, weird thought at the back of your head.
>You start to wonder if that’s really the best course of action.
>This is a world populated by unicorns, pegasi, and talking ponies.
>One of which, you swear to god, had a rainbow mane and tail.
>There is so much magic, it’s literally causing a meteorological event
>If you’re going to talk about massive leaps of logic, assuming that your logic still applies is a pretty big one.
> . . .
>Well, in a land of unicorns and magic, the brave knight always wins, and the coward always dies in a gruesome fashion, right?
>You hadn’t actually read the legend of King Arthur, or any book that didn’t have at least a few pictures, but that sounded close enough.
>You might not be a knight in shining armor, but you could manage benevolent but misguided bystander.
>Taking a deep breath, you attempt to channel your patron saint of rage, hatred, and violence.
>Your first semester college roommate, Kenny.
>>27645384
>Kenny was a six foot four, 220 pound MMA fighter who was meaner than a sack full of diamondback rattlesnakes, and about twice as dangerous to piss off.
>You don’t know what an MMA was, but Kenny fought the ones that were 220 pounds, so they were pretty big.
>From what you knew, Kenny’s father had two hobbies: drinking, and beating seven shades of shit out of Kenny as a kid.
>Kenny was about as familiar with taking and dishing out pain as a mortal body could be, and still be in (mostly) one piece.
>And now you called upon him, your spiritual liege, to guide you through this crisis.
>You don’t know if it was the magic of the place, or if Kenny was just that full of rage, but you feel a faint call to violent action from the region just above and behind your testicles.
>You look around you, finding a convenient “Cast Iron Pan, Busted Chair Leg, and Robust Candlestick Emporium” market stall a few paces away.
>You hefted one of the chair legs that had been resting between a fine square skillet and a heavy pewter candlestick.
>You figured this counted as extenuating circumstances, and wouldn’t be considered shoplifting.
>You rest it on your shoulder, taking in a deep breath in through your mouth, and blowing it out your nose.
>You try and recall the two things he said to you when you first met.
>”Hey, I’m Kenny. My friends call me Ken though.”
>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
>It’s now or never you suppose, and you take off at a quick jog toward what, best case scenario, is going to be a really bad day, or worst case scenario, a very short bad day that will last the rest of your life.
>>27645341
>>27645374
holy shit this niggas still alive
>>27645419
>>27645374
IT'S ALIVE
>>27645390
Friggen lol
>You try and recall the two things he said to you when you first met.
>”Hey, I’m Kenny. My friends call me Ken though.”
>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
>>27645390
more when, getting to the good part
Amphetanon, if you reading this and your problem is that darn "connection error." every time, IE helped me to post at least kinda normally. And yes: yay, it's alive!
>>27645035
'Ok'
>anon puts apple bloom back in the tree.
>"well... horse apples. Guess im sleeping in the tree again."
>>27645220
But Anon, what if she puts on the country accent so she doesn't think her family will reject her and when she's embarrassed she forgets.
>>27646085
If you stare hard enough, you can almost taste her sugar cinnamon ponut.
>>27646304
maybe its the sleep deprivation but that is the lewdest thing iv'e read since 3:25.
>>27645374
>>27645384
>>27645390
Good to see you back, sorry to hear you're having internet troubles, and is this where you meant to leave off or did your connection crap out on you again?
>>27646607
I'm on a phone right now. I have like . . . Close to 2k more words of update that I can't get through.
>>27646617
Shit.
Can you update your paste and then someone can post the update from the paste into the thread? Not the same, I know, but at least it'll get your horsewords out there.
https://derpiboo.ru/1178009
>>27646781
Here's a prompt
>Anti-RGREquestria is a thing.
>Moral alignments AND gender roles are reversed from regular RGRE, similar to our world
>Good ponies are evil, evil ponies are good, and mares the delicate ones here.
>The Evil Mane Six kidnap their counterparts and take their places in order to gather info for an invasion led by Evil Celestia.
>They didn't expect not being treated as the fairer sex anymore and have trouble adjusting.
>Anon is the only one who notices the Mane Six have been replaced with evil counterparts.
>>27645390
>>You don’t know if it was the magic of the place, or if Kenny was just that full of rage, but you feel a faint call to violent action from the region just above and behind your testicles.
kek
also this story escalated pretty quickly
>>27646962
What a waste of paper that comic was. I should give you the finger for bring it up. Asshole.
>>27646999
That comic was full of wasted ideas.
>>27647089
Why is Anon so obsessed with fluffy chests?
>>27646962
much potential for shenanigans
>>27645099
A new writefag might pick the idea up.
>>27647091
Humans are instinctually programmed to cuddle fluffy ponies.
>It's Luna's first week back from the moon
>She dreamwalks and catches a number of mares having wet dreams about Anonymous
>Luna is outraged and, in her thousand-year-old RGRE values, sees this as the equivalent of having sex outside of marriage
>Demands that they marry Anonymous immediately
>Celestia only allows this because she hopes to be caught dreaming about Anon too, thus being forced to join Anon's herd.
>>27647235
>Eventually, every single pony
in Equestria is in it too.
>>27647249
Well, once he's married, he'll have his herd to protect him from ponies who would dream lewd things about him and rape him with their minds. Luna will be satisfied once he is no longer defenceless.
>>27647265
once he's married to those initial mares, rather
>>27647265
So Celestia or anyone else will never have a chance of joining Anon's herd?
>>27645099
>Biganon in Tinyquestria
>Anon does all sorts of helpful things, like reaching the top shelf and rescuing fillies from trees
>Ponies are things he can hold in his hands
>Mares still insist he be careful and feel emaresculated when he physically carries them around
>Shenanigans
>>27647235
>One of the mares who had wet dreams about Anon is Cup Cake
>It's not cheating if it's just a dream right?
>It's not like she had any control over it anyway! Blame her subconscious!
>Now she's part of Anon's herd while still being married to Carrot Cake, who isn't talking to her.
>>27647340
Celestia can do what Celestia wants.Other than that; no chance.
>>27647350L A M E
>>27647399
>"More than three mares to a herd?! What kind of whore can satisfy more than three mares?!"
Luna's rules are very clear Anon.
>>27647427
>Luna doesn't know about that human stamina
>It's not that he can't satisfy THEM, it's that they can't satisfy HIM.
>>27647343
>"I don't care how quickly you can get me across town, Anon; stop carrying me all the time!"
>Tinypone shuffles uncomfortably and subconsciously crosses her legs.
>"It makes my teats feel small."
>>27647427
Luna can go snort moonstones.
I'm gonna fuck every single horse in this goddamned country and there's nothing she can do to stop me.
>>27647466
>Luna watches on in fascinated horror as Anon's mares lock the bedroom door.
>"He's trapped! This is NOT what I meant when I wanted them to couple!"
>Celestia pats Luna on the withers to calm her down.
>>"Do not worry, Sister. Anon is not locked in the room with those mares; those mares are locked in the room with Anon."
>>27647466
How would Luna handle it?
Would she go mad or view it as a challenge
Also are roles unreversed in Luna's point of view, or just plain chastity?
>>27647524
It looks like roles were reversed back in Luna's day, only they were more puritan. A colt with an unshorn fetlock would be grounds for public belly rubbing.
>>27647524
I think she would handle it pretty well. Anon is a different species after all, so assuming his sexual stamina is the same level as a stallion is bad logic.
That being said, she would take it as a challenge. If normal mares can't satisfy this alien, then a Princess of Equestria will!
>>27647544
>"Creature! Thy turgid maleness hast outpaced many a mare, to Our shame. We hath decreed that thou art to be taken into Our custody as not to risk thine impregnating innumerable mares outside of herdlock."
>>27647544
Maybe at first, be outraged by how anon is a promiscuous male, but then be overcomed by how 3 mares can satisfy a single stallion, then leading to what you have in mind
Feels more like Luna's demeanor
>>27647655
This so much this
Also let's say anon can last at least an hour or two just to make things more interesting
>>27647427
>After all this thinking about ponies having lewd dreams of anon, Luna eventually has one herself.
>She has betrayed her own purpose, and must find a better way to protect anon from ponies dreams.
>Clearly he can only be safe right by her side.
>Steals anon away, claiming that her right as ruler lets her choose any mate in the kingdom.
>>27647655
>>27647675
>Luna goes farther than any of her subjects, but still falls to Anon's human stamina.
>She hasn't had sex in 1000 years after all, so she's out of practice.
>>27647655
>You are Anon
>You've been stolen away by dreamhorse because you can fuck real good.
>TOO good.
>You want to be mad, you really do.
>But your house is now a castle, the staff treat you like royalty, and you FINALLY have a sexual partner who doesn't pass out after five minutes.
>You were a bit thrown off when Luna's speech mentioned impregnating mares, but you're an entirely different species.
>Humans can't impregnate ponies, silly dreamhorse!
>....
>R-right?
>>27647765
>Thus rises King Anon, ruler of Equestria.
>With his trusty steedwife, he roams the nation righting wrongs, beating up evil, and making up laws.
>Luna is in over her depth, powerless to stop Anon's enthusiasm.
>"Anonymous, thour laws art too numerous for ourth subjectums."
"No time for those sonnets of yours, my King-Sense is tingling!"
>Anon leaps from the back of his queen and kicks in a random door
>Inside is a pony on the toilet
"EVILDOER, YOUR FOUL WAYS END HERE!"
>Anon holds his kingly sword out at the pooping pony
>"What?"
"THIS SICK FILTH STOPS NOW. STOP DEFILING THIS GOOD NATION WITH YOUR WASTE AND TURN YOURSELF IN."
>"B-but I have irritable bowel syndrome, I have to poop."
>STAB
"BOWELS? NOT IN MY KINGDOM!"
>Anon cuts the intestines out of the pony.
"YOU'RE SAFE FROM THOSE FOUL ORGANS NOW, CITIZEN!"
>Luna just stands there watching in horror at her bloodsoaked husband and the freshly disemboweled pony.
>Anon wipes off his sword and jumps onto Luna's back.
"HEIGH HO LUNA, AND AWAY!"
>The siren of an ambulance can be heard as Anon rides off to his next adventure.
>>27647930
Oh how adorably naive
>>27647975
YAY!
>>27647946
Durnk, are you ok buddy?
>>27647975
>>27648006
>>27648006
>"Pound me into the ground with your cock, Anon!"
>"Please!"
>"No, harder, like this!"
>>27648032
Shouldn't the stallion be asking that question in RGRE?
>>27648032
>Tiny pegasus
>Big pregnant belly
I need this
>>27648041
Poor little horsie doesn't know anymore after being rammed senseless by a giant ape-monster.
>>27648041
>Anon watches on, confused, as a crying and distressed stallion begs a nonplussed mare to "take responsibility" for her own babby belly.
Not all things in my korean porn cartoons translate well when you flip the genders, Anon.
>>27648056
>Dash gets fucked so hard her mental view of gender roles gets switched around
>>27648073
What if self-abortion is viewed as bad in RGRE because the whole POINT of herding is reproduction?
>>27648044
She can't fly very well right now, so you have to carry her sometimes.
>>27648074
>Dash has confusing conversations with Anon when they're fucking
>"Why are all the stallions such bucking pussies?"
"I don't know, Dashie."
>"I think most of the colts here are gay, Anon."
"I wouldn't doubt it."
>>27648105
Anon would gladly carry her around regardless.
>>27648073
She can self-abort, so he literally begs her to not do this.
>>27648099
>>27648120
kindly fuck off
>>27648105
Too adorable.
>>27648130
Face it, Anon.
Not everyone have to have a pregnancy fetish like you.
>>27648162
And I doubt magical pastel ponies about love and friendship would be so heartless and evil to kill their young.
>>27648162
>Doesn't like talk about killing babies
>"hurr durr pregnancy fetish"
So guys I was putting my shoes on today, right? I guess that means I have a foot fetish.
>>27648182
Technically, undeveloped fetus isn't one of their young yet, or truly alive really.
However, let's not bring theology, religion and other realted crap into the conversetion here....
It will only end in unnessesery butthurt and shitposting.
>>27648244
stop
>>27648004
>>27647946
You know that's how durnk operates. It's funny, drunken ramblings.
>>27648244
Bring the fire mylord
>>27646962
>twilight's only difference is that she's got a mean look on her face
>she could turn pure evil ANY MOMENT
>>27648372
Notice the lack of wings on Evil Twi
>>27648348
stop
>>27648378
I missed that, huh. I guess pre-alicorn twilight is evil.
>>27648389
She has certainly learned a lot of Friendship Lessons since then.
>>27646962
Holy shit, I'd fuck anti-Chrysalis into a puddle. She's fucking amazing.
>>27648882
>swiggity swooty, I'm coming for Anon's booty
>>27648882
>Twilight Spergle
>Alpha Mare
Anon, please. She may be a princess now but she's too much of a shy nerd to ever actually TALK to a colt.
>>27648882
>that round body
This is why real alicorns are better mares. Their larger asses provide more leverage and cushion the force of your thrusts, and their trim stomachs are perfect for showcasing cock-distension and cum inflation.
>>27648923
She likes doing the household's paperwork so that's why she's "official" alpha, but the actual lead mare is someone else.
>>27648997
Earth pony mares are for making babies
>more frequent estrus cycle (bimonthly)
>extremely quick post-birth recuperation, as little as a week and no skips in estrus cycle postpartum period
>high fertility with more common case of twins, triplets or even quintuplets
>bigger teats, increased milk productivity and nutrition, leaves excess almost daily which is commonly used in cooking
>larger hips with more muscle mass, leading to stronger orgasm (for both parties)
>>27649029
>>bigger teats, increased milk productivity and nutrition, leaves excess almost daily which is commonly used in cookingYou have no idea how much I want a Milky Way story. I may end up writing one, but it'll definitely cater toward the fetish she's built for.
>>27649029
I'd put both earth mares and pegasus mares on equal footing in the breeding race to be honest.
>>27649068
Some pegasus mares called nest-fillers for a reason.
>>27649068
>>27649099
>you will never build up and create your own large flock to call family
>>27649118
Name your mares.
>Pilot AU..
>Instead of Nightmare Moon returning, a worried Celestia and an astonished Ponyville see an older, more mature Luna returning.
>Being wild-fucked by Anonymous on a hill, visible to all as the sun's rays hit them.
>1000 years ago, Anon orgasmed the Nightmare out of Luna.
>They've been on an extended honeymoon around the multiverse ever since.
>Because she spent a thousand years bumbing it with Anon, she's used to more traditional, human gender-roles.
>Clashes between what was and not what is, especially when Luna metaphorically shits on the idea of being a Princess again and helping Celestia.
>Slice of life sexism, anti-sexism, Celestia incompetently trying to adjust and scheme to get Luna to retake her title.
>Girl Next Door Cadence, who keeps flirting with Anon, much to Luna's iritation.
Birds could be heard conducting their dawn chorus as Anon shifted in his bed. There was a delightful softness and warmth against his chest, and the smell of vanilla and myrrh filled his nostrils with every breath he took.
He smiled, holding the warmth against his chest. Though it was morning rising and shining could wait for a few more minutes. Comfort like this only came once in a blue moon, and when one did have such a comfort it was nearly a crime to do anything other than bask in it.
“Oh horse feathers. It happened again.”
Anon’s eyes snapped open as his little hamster started its day off at a sprint.
He could see a white horn invading his field of vision. The white, boney appendage was lightly pressed against his jaw. It was short but surprisingly thick, with a swirl that tapered off at the top. Though, it first glance, it looked sharp he knew better. Most unicorns went to great lengths to keep their horns in prime condition, and one aspect of that was dulling the edge so that no one would be accidentally impaled if they just so happened to look down.
He took a deep breath as the warmth shifted slightly against his bare chest. “Rarity?”
Rarity, squirming slightly as Anon ran his fingers through her chest tuft, looked up at him. “Yes, Anonymous dear?”
“It looks like we’re in the same bed together again.”
“It does indeed appear so.”
“Did you lock your doors this time?”
“I locked my doors and set up those surveillance crystals just as I said I would.”
>>27649186
THE PLOT THICKENS!
>>27649186
“Well, I made sure to triple-check—”
“Anonymous? Would you be a dear and scratch a little higher?” Rarity asked, staring up at him with those big blue eyes of hers.
“Oh, yeah, sure,” the young man muttered with a yawn.
Rarity let out a happy coo as one of his hands traveled up to her neck and began to scratch. Her eyes closed and her back arched slightly as he pressed her horn against his cheek a little more firmly. “Oh you are [i]treasure[/i], Anon my dear,” she groaned.
Anon smiled, resting his chin on top of the fashionista’s head. “Thank you. Now, where was I?”
“You were triple-checking—”
“I triple-checked my locks last night, right, right.”
Still humming, Rarity grabbed the hand scratching her neck and guided it up toward her chin. “Then I suppose it wasn’t some sort of fluke,” she mused, her back leg kicking slightly from the stimulation that she was receiving. “Somepony, for some reason or another, has once again forced you into my bed!”
She wiggled some more, an excited giggle escaping her lips. “Oh, this is [i]just[/i] like my mystery novels!”
"You have novels about stallions being kidnapped and forced into mare's beds."
Though he couldn't see it, a single bead of sweat ran down Rarity's forehead. "I... yes dear. Yes."
The birds once again could be heard as the two lapsed into silence.
“Well, since you have those surveillance crystals we should be able to see who’s doing this right?” Anon questioned.
“Yes, of course we can, Anonymous, my good stallion," Rarity answered, clearing her throat. "But first, I do believe that I shall freshen myself up.”
Anon’s stomach growled. “We should also probably get something to eat,” he advised. “We wouldn’t want to solve this mystery on an empty stomach.”
>>27649269
“Yes, of course, darling. Now if you would be so kind as so cease your scratching…”
Though it was with some regret, the two crawled out of bed, Rarity making her way toward her bathroom and Anon making his way toward the kitchen so that he could wait until she had “freshened up”. Twenty minutes later the two of them found themselves sitting at Rarity's kitchen table with a small projection crystal sitting in front of them.
The fashionista was squirming excitedly in his lap as she looked at the little crystal. Why she had decided to sit in his lap was beyond him, but, since she had promised to feed him after this was all over, he saw no reason to complain about being used as a cushion.
“Now… Let us see if the crystals picked up anything unusual shall we?” The fashionista said, her horn glowing.
For a moment, reflective surface of the crystal was dim and lifeless but, with a bit more magic, courtesy of Mrs. Rarity, the crystal sparked to life. They could see Rarity’s living room, where she entertained both friends and customers alike.
Horn glowing a little brighter, Rarity sped up the recording.
“Are you sure that these crystals work?”
“Of course I’m sure, dear. These are the best surveillance crystals that bits can buy.”
“I’m not doubting that your crystals weren’t expensive, Rare,” Anon said, looking at the little hunk of rock with a critical eye. “I’m just wondering why a crystal would record and store information.”
Rarity looked up at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “Well, I must admit that I’m not completely familiar with the process, but what I’m lead to believe is that a rather complex spell is cast on the crystals…”
Anon grunted, looking down at the little mare in his lap. “That reminds me. One of these days I'm going to have to release Rockington back into the wild.”
>>27649148
This has potential to be a clusterfuck or super outstanding. Would read if somebody gives it a shot.
>>27649318
Rarity blinked slowly, her expression becoming unsure. “…Pardon?”
“I have a pet rock named Rockington that I keep in my kitchen.”
“Why in Equestria would you have a pet rock?”
Anon shrugged. “Well, I normally don’t like animal’s all that much but I saw Rockington just sitting out in the middle of the road all by herself and—”
“Herself?”
“Yeah, Rockington is a gender neutral name, Anyway, I saw—thmp!”
“Shush!” Rarity said, keeping her hoof firmly pressed against his mouth to stem his nonsense. “There’s something on the screen!” Her horn glowed, slowing down the recording to real time.
Both the human and unicorn leaned forward to get a slower look. On the screen the two could see what looked remarkably like Rarity, complete with a frilly sleep mask, which was sitting just above her horn, and slippers, making her way through the living room toward the front door.
“…Is that you, Rare?”
“…I believe so.”
“ Why are you wearing a sleeping mask. And are those cat slippers? Those are really—”
“Shush!”
Rarity walked through her living room almost zombie-like. Though the resolution on the crystal wasn’t all that good it almost looked like the mare’s eyes were closed.
>>27649360
“Am I sleeping?”
“I think so…”
Shuffling toward the door, Rarity stopped about a foot away from it. Her horn glowed, and the two watched as the door slowly opened, revealing another figure that was standing just outside.
“Is that… me?” Anon muttered, looking on with wide eyes.
“That’s you my dear. I’d know those pajama bottoms anywhere,” Rarity replied.
Anon looked down at said pajama bottoms. “Well, you [i]were[/i] the one that made them.”
“Indeed I did, and I think—”
“Shush!”
“…A gentle stallion does not shush a lady, Anonymous.”
“Hey, you’ve been shushing me all morning. I think I get to have at least [i]one[/i]. Also that's sexists”
Both Rarity and Anon watched as their recordings just stood there for about a minute, both of them swaying back and forth like leaves in a breeze. Suddenly, Rarity turned around and began to make her way back into her living room and toward her stairs. Anon immediately followed, closing the door behind him as the two of them disappeared up the stairs.
Rarity’s horn glowed, and with a spell the crystal was turned off. There was an awkward, confused tension in the air as both her and Anon milled over what they had just seen. Rarity, with a lady-like click of the tongue, leaned back against Anon.
>>27649133
>fluttershy
>blossomforth
>raindrops
>cloudchaser
>flitter
the featheriest
>>27649401
Aight. Coolio.
>>27649391
“Well… that was…”
Anon scratched his chin as he looked down at the crystal in front of him. “Can we talk about those cat slippers? Because I still really want to talk about them.”
With a guffaw, the fashionista looked up at the young man. “Anon! I believe that there are more important things to discuss than [i]slippers[/i].”
“They’re really [i]cute[/i] slippers!”
With a groan of disgust, Rarity hopped out of Anon’s lap. “So it appears that my initial assumption was incorrect,” she muttered as she began to pace the kitchen. “No one has been putting us in the same bed as a form of elaborate prank. It also appears that nopony is trying to ruin mine and your reputation by making us sleep together.”
“And you didn’t kidnap me from my house to have your way with me either,” Anon helpfully added, only to be ignored.
“…Unless some sort of magic has been casted on the two of us, one that forces our bodies to be close to one another when we sleep? Or perhaps it is some other sort of magical anomaly? Could some unknown fiend be doing this to us for some diabolical purpose in a way which we cannot possibly guess at?”
Rarity swooned, a hoof going to her forehead. “Oh this is simply the [i]conundrum[/i]!
Anon smacked his lips together as he leaned back into his chair. “We could always go to Twilight to see if she could help us out,” he offered. “That mare [i]loves[/i] conundrums, and any other words with more than three syllables. I’m sure she could help us in a jiffy.”
Rarity bit her lip. “Perhaps… though I’d much prefer it if we waited another day or two so that I could acquire more data.”
“Alright, if you want,” Anon chirped. “Maybe the last two nights were just a fluke.”
>>27649218
Like muh dick
>>27649430
“Exactly. The last two nights could be nothing more than serendipitous happenstance,” the unicorn agreed, walking back over and hopping back into his lap. “Now that that bothersome business is out of the way, what would you like for breakfast, Anon dear?”
Once again Anon quietly wondered why Rarity was sitting in his lap but nevertheless found himself wrapping his arms around her barrel. Rarity let out a hum, pressing herself against chest.
“I can make pancakes like I did last time,” he offered.
Rarity looked up at him with a smile. “That sounds wonderful, darling. Though give it a moment would you? I’m sure you’re as exhausted as I watching that recording.”
Taking a deep breath, she grabbed and hand and lifted it up to her chest. "Let's just sit here for a moment or two longer. I wouldn't want you fainting or some such thing."
“…Yeah, I [i]do[/i] think I need to sit a little longer to catch my breath.”
Rarity’s smile widened just a hair. “There’s a good stallion,” she murmured, rubbing herself against his chest. "A very good stallion."
>>27649466
Alright, I'm done. I forgot to tell you guys that this fic goes by days. So this chapter would be Tuesday and the next will be Wednesday, etc. Once again tell me what you think. you guys are reading the rough draft so if you have any ideas or suggestions that you want me to put in/fix let me hear it.
>>27649466
>she grabbed and hand and lifted it up to her chest
Wot.
>>27649483
Was fun, but do you really need that many underlines? It's like with comics and the constant bolding. It loses its effect.
>>27649531
Its italics, not underline.
>>27649486
>She grabbed his hand and lifted it to her chin
There, fixed it
>>27649531
Err, italics. Not underlines.
>>27649269
>“Oh you are [i]treasure[/i], Anon my dear,”
>you are 'a' treasure
>>27648909
Yeah, that was the one interesting thing in that trainwreck of an arc. Reversalis is the element of love, and operates like a fairy godmother, while the rest of the changelings are running a Cupid racket as love bugs. Her appearance there is also what changelings look like when they're loved and not starving to death.
>>27649466
CLEARLY they're meant for each other.
>>27649483
Very cute. I'm looking forward to more.
>>27649662
Damn. See, that's interesting enough to read about. Too bad the rest of the comic sounds like a train wreck, I could get into that.
>>27649483
I'm totally okay with more petting and cuddling.
>>27649148
MAKE THIS A THING!!!
>>27647863
>further that any subjects
still only lasts 2 mins, tops
>>27649133
Rarity
Fluttershy
Derpy
Lyra
And Applejack
>>27645390
>>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
Will this meme never die? Cheat day is for fat women and numale cucks. Real bodybuilding requires dieting and discipline, and if you need a day to gorge on unhealthy shit, you should hang up your weights and become a fat fucking gordon ramsey chef faggot.
>>27650812
>"Uh, akchually!"
Step back for a second and read your post. You just couldn't help yourself and sperged all over a joke line in a jokey greentext story. Then you went away feeling satisfied, as though everyone here would be grateful or admire you for your "knowledge."
Well how do you feel now?
Because you look like a stupid asshole.
>>27649466
I like this. It's comfy and while it isn't fast paced by any stretch, I kind of don't want it to be.
>>27649662
Really? Any images that compare the two?
>"A-Anon! What are you doing with my Amare Amarth album?"
"Actually, this is my Amare Amarth album. I bought it myself. And to answer your question, I'm listening to it."
>"B-but that's not stallion music! You're supposed to like Sapphire Shores and Adere!"
"Don't get me wrong, I like all music. but heavy metal was my first love, and I'll always come back to it."
>"L-lewd..."
>>27651422
>mid-tier pone listens to top tier music
I am conflicted
Hmm... we need more Princess Whoredance trying to be lewd with Anon.
>>27651737
>mid-tier pone
Do you want me to smack a bitch? Because you're looking for a smacking
>>27651737
>top tier music
Metalhead pls. You can't fucking tier music. It's all subjective shit. Waifus, however, is a different story.
Anyone remember that story where Anon becomes a race car driver? Is there a pastebin for that?
Still waiting on anon being God story BNW is making
>>27649353
um... you know the context in which this could be a clusterfuck... because that sounds like something i really want to read.
>>27649662
>>Her appearance there is also what changelings look like when they're loved and not starving to death.
I'd read green which took advantage of that
>>27652387
FIRE ER UP MAN
>>27652387
http://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD
>>27645390
stealth-finishing an update
>You are Twilight Sparkle, and you were silently thanking spike for training you to always raise a bubble shield at the first sign of unexpected green flame.
>He had burped a lot as a tiny little drake, and you’d had to visit the barber more than one time to trim up the singed parts of your mane after a bout of indigestion on his part.
>The wave of fire had rolled through the square, and even through the cracks around the door, filling the internal space of Sugarcube Corner a few moments later.
>Pinkie was close enough that she had been inside your impromptu shield spell, and was taken completely off guard.
“Pinkie, are you alright?”
>Your voice was loud, and tone sharp.
>You’d seen too much, too often, to lose your head now.
>She blinks in surprise.
>”Twilight . . . I didn’t get a warning.”
>She looks at you, for the very first time in all of your crazy, dangerous, and in her case frequently zany, adventures, with a look of fear.
>”Twilight . . . I didn’t get a Pinkie Sense. Not a quiver, or a tingle, or even a twitch. Nothing.”
>She stared at you, frozen in place, her eyes slowly shrinking to pinpricks as she began to quiver in abject terror.
>She begins to babble incomprehensibly as you push out of the booth, trying to get to the door when you trip over something.
>You stifle as shout as you realize it was a body, but your worst fears are quickly allayed when you realized that the middle aged mare was breathing, even if it was fast and shallow.
>Not wasting any time, you levitate her up off the floor and onto a nearby table, doing your best to ignore Pinkie’s panic stricken state as you assess the mare’s condition.
>It was stable, for the time being, but as you probed and felt her aura, it was like dipping your hoof into a whirlpool.
>>27653389
>The life was flowing out of her, at a prodigious rate.
>It was all she could do to keep her heart beating.
>How was this even possible?
>Magic simply didn’t behave like this.
>You are shaken from your confused stupor by a loud crash and the clatter of silverware.
>Your head snaps over to catch sight of Pinkie crashing to the ground, having overturned a table before face planting, entirely unconscious.
“Pinkie!”
>You call out to her, rushing over, your horn lighting up as you try to prop her into a seated position against the base of one of the booth seats.
>It doesn’t even take a scan this time to see it.
>You can literally see the energy being torn from her body, it must have caused her to faint.
>It’s like a faint blur around the edge of her form, like chalk sidewalk art running in the rain, or sand being swept away in a river.
>You can feel it too, like the drain of a particularly powerful spell tugging at your energy reserves.
>You do your best to shake it off, this was almost nothing compared to that time you placated an Ursa Minor.
>Still, you needed to find where all this energy was draining to, and fast.
>You could take the strain, but some of the elderly ponies around town couldn’t stand up to this for much longer.
>Glancing around, it looked like you were the only one who could take the strain.
>And Anonymous! He was out there too!
>You mentally slap yourself.
>If you had handled the situation a bit better, he would be here right now, where you could at least make sure he was . . . safe? Safe from what though? Could you even protect him?
>The summoning . . . had you closed the gateway before you passed out?
>. . .
>Oh sweet Celestia no . . .
>If you had left a rift to every realm connected by infernal summons . . .
>You prayed to every power you believed in, and even a few that you didn’t, that Spike was still at Sweet Apple Acres.
>>27653394
>You run as fast as your legs will carry you back toward the Library, and nearly fall down when you round the last corner.
>A powerful blast of wind sucked the strength from your body, its fell nature cutting you to the bone with a coldness that shouldn’t even be possible.
>Even as you stagger toward it, you’re blinded by the pillar of light emanating from a crater that used to be your home.
>You’d be stricken by pangs of grief for your destroyed home if it weren’t for the overwhelming panic that you were doing your best to force down.
“SPIKE!”
>You shout at the top of your lungs, yourhoarseshriek barely audible above the heavy, rumbling roar of whatever unnatural thing was attempting to claw its way into the world.
>You summon up a great spell, drawing on deep reserves of magic you normally wouldn’t touch outside of an emergency situation, but you were fairly certain this qualified.
>A spell of warding, of banishment, of sealing and sanctification, meant to blast anything in that rift back from whence it came and to plug the gaping tear in reality.
>The charge built on your horn, a mass of crackling purple lightning slowly being shaped into a sphere larger than yourself, by several times over.
>You let loose the tremendous concentration of magical power in a single blast, the power of the spell blowing out windows on both sides of the boulevard, and singing the ground beneath its path of travel, before it suddenly halted, and began to shrink rapidly, draining away into nothing.
>Squinting in exhausted confusion, you made out an odd shape, almost lost in the blinding brightness.
>Something deep inside you, even before you realized what you were looking at, told you to be afraid.
>>27653405
>It was a fear born not of experience, or even evolution, but of the soul.
>A thing that should not be stepped out of the light, its dark majesty freezing you in place with its oppressive presence.
>The fear of an incomprehensible void fills your soul in that moment, before a high pitched shriek filled your ears.
>You don’t even recognize that the shrieking voice is your own, you’re much too frightened for that.
>In your mind, you are a helpless child again, trapped in a nightmare where you can’t wake up.
>Again and again you have placed faith in your abilities that had always carried you through, only to find that they were not enough.
>A bitter, icy laughter fills the air, or maybe just your head, you can’t really be sure, and it probably doesn’t make a difference.
>”You thought you could elude me? That your wretch of a sire could save you from my grasp? I am Nehzek, the Aphelion King, the Dead-Speaker, the Great Devourer. I am not merely your death, I am your end.”
>It has a voice is a mixture of high and low tones, synthesized from the buzzing of a thousand flies and the sound of meat tearing.
>It was not something meant to be heard by mortal ears, and those that did were not given enough time to comprehend its nature.
>You try and scream again, but this time, no sound comes out.
>It is upon you, suddenly, not particularly caring for the concepts of time, or distance.
>Those were for lesser beings.
>As you stare at the shadow, growing ever larger, it feels like someone has put your heart in a vice, and is actively sucking the breath from your lungs.
>>27653417
>You struggle look up at its face, and find a distorted skull of bleached bone, long faced, like a horse, but with horns like a bull.
>The eyes, 4 of them, bore into your own, glowing with an unholy light, and thick black ichor seeps from between its fanged jaws, causing the ground to hiss and burn where the droplets strike the ground.
>Swaddled in rotting cloth, it must be at least 8 feet tall, its twisted bipedal form towering over you.
>Strips of flesh, which you doubted were the creatures own, dangle from moldering bone, inscribed with icons and symbols that make the eyes ache of those who look on them.
>Four arms project from its torso, each pair of limbs meeting in front of its chest in a cruel mockery of prayer.
>The smell of rotting flesh and sulphur washes over you as the skeletal form floats at you silently, its feet hanging inches off the ground.
>If every muscle in your body wasn’t frozen in terror, you’d soil yourself.
>Not even nightmares were this terrifying.
>”Your gods will prostrate themselves before me, begging for mercy, offering your kind up as sacrifices to my insatiable hunger, and when I have gorged myself on every last morsel of life on this plane, I will consume those pitiful charlatans as well. Of all the simpering creatures to befoul this existence with the disgusting stench of life . . . Twilight Sparkle, you are my favorite. For it was you who invited me to this grand feast, and as is befitting of your status of host . . . I will use your body as just that. Within the darkness of your corrupted body and flayed soul, I will forge an avatar that will darken the stars.”
>>27649662
>>27653327
>When a changeling isn't starved, they have a "Full, complete" look to them.
>When fed freely given love, they can actually metamorphosize into enrapturingly beautiful FlutterPonies.
>But no one wants to give...
>>27653425
>It tilted its head back as its mouth unhinged itself, and a thick, glistening, wet tendril of rotting meat studded with ossified barbs and weeping sores slithered out, coiling loosely around its body with a disgusting squelch.
>The forked tip inched toward you slowly, drawn in by the heat of your still living body, or perhaps the raw essence of your terror.
>You want to run, to scream, to flinch, to flee, but all you can do is stare into the orbs of baleful light glowing deep in the recesses of the abominable things eye sockets as the impossibly long tendril gently caresses the side of your face.
>”FUUUUUUUUUUCK-”
>The tendril slurps back into the fell creature’s head as it whirls around toward the source of the sound.
> . . . Anonymous?
>You identify the object flying through the air as your biological father a half second before he plants both his feet on the things chest and drop kicks it halfway across the street.
>”-YOOOOUUU!”
>He crashes to the ground with a grunt, and, after recovering surprisingly quickly, hops to his feet, hands clenched into fists of rage.
>”Keep yo nasty ass mouth tentacles THE FUCK. OFF. MY. DAUGHTER.”
>Anon punctuated the last few words of his command with several powerful, stomping blows to the creature's chest cavity, crushing it like brittle paper mache.
>You collapse to the ground, it’s powers no-longer holding you frozen in place.
>Apparently, the sheer surprise and ferocity of his assault had taken the creature completely off guard.
>It was far less intimidating when it was folded up heap of strange bones in the gutter.
>>27653433
>Before you could muster up a spell to assist him, Anonymous was laying about the creature’s head and shoulders with what appeared to be a scavenged chair leg.
>Each blow reaped a fresh crop of shattered bone and spattered ichor.
>While your magic had done nothing but amuse it, blunt force trauma seemed to have the desired effect of disabling it.
>This was becoming rapidly evident as it attempted to defend itself from the savage beating Anonymous was dispensing, succeeding only in having its arm ripped off, then used as an improvised club.
>You were awestruck for a moment, by the terrible fury and savagery with which he was ravaging this creature, this nightmare made manifest.
>You idly wondered if this was the freak strength that some stallions displayed when their foals were put in harm’s way, able to single hoofedly lift overturned carts and the like.
>The absolute fearlessness of his assault caught you as well.
>The utter disregard for self-preservation as his body was spattered in that caustic ichor, and how he seemed to utterly ignore it, even when his improvised club had begun to smolder from the acidic, tar like substance seeping from what you would best describe as his victim.
>Perhaps he really did care about you. It’d be unreasonable for him to immediately assume a paternal role, but it’d also be equally irrational to believe that he wouldn’t experience basic male nurturing instinct toward his offspring.
>You had only really known each other for the better part of the morning.
>But, you couldn’t really deny that on some level, you had connected instantly.
>”Twilight! Are you hurt?”
>>27653433
Dubs confirm Anon is a man and a half
And Nehzek likely has huge guts
>>27653445
>You snap out of your internal dialogue as you suddenly realize that, one, you are still in the middle of a crisis, two, there is still an abomination from beyond your reality in the street, and three, a colt had done almost all of the fighting.
>His brow, furrowed with concern, was a stark contrast to the savage grimace he wore during his bout of single combat with the beast.
“N-no . . . not physically at least.”
>You manage to stammer out.
>Your legs felt like jelly, your vision was starting to blur, and you were barely strong enough to manage a teleportation spell.
>Brightening up immediately, Anonymous shoots back, ”Good. Then help me get fugly here back into whatever hellhole he crawled out of.”
>He’s currently holding . . . about half of a shattered skeleton, now completely inanimate, save for the glowing orbs resting in the thing’s skull.
>One of its legs is missing, and all of the arms are gone.
>As anon stands and hoists its shattered frame onto his back, the leg finally gives out, exploding into dust as it falls off and impacts the ground.
>Only the skull remains intact, the rest of the body simply crumbling into dust as the fetid burial shroud is blown into the light by an intangible wind.
>”Huh . . . that’ll be easier to carry.”
>Anon nonchalantly lets the skull drop to his side, hanging on to one of the remaining horns, the other having been broken off somewhere in the fight.
>You stare, slack jawed, from a mixture of magical exhaustion, shock, heart pounding terror, and utter bewilderment.
“What did you . . . how . . . what are you?”
>>27653459
>He glances over his shoulder at you as he shrugs.
>”What? My third step-dad was a tax lawyer. This guy-“ He shakes the skull at you. “-is some pansy shit compared to that.”
>He leans in closer to you, eyes wide.
>You have two thoughts at this moment, one, that you never really considered that your father might not be from the same type of world as you, and two, you really should have asked him more about his world, rather than just talking about his feet on the way to breakfast.
>The way he’s dealing with this . . . you’re starting to understand why the summoning to bring him here was so sinister.
>Nodding solemnly, Anonymous strolls toward the dimensional rift connecting equestrian to half a dozen dead voids and hellscapes, as if he was taking a leisurely stroll in the park, showing off a new saddlebag, rather than preparing to hurl the binding vessel of a greater incarnation of death back into the howling void that spawned it.
>He pats his leg gently with his free hand. ”C’mon kiddo, we’ve got a world to save.”
>>27653455
Once upon a time, when DoomGuy busted a nut from his MurderRageboner, a single sperm shot through the dimensions, and Anons grandpa was born, he would go on to furiously murder hundreds of slanteyes in WWII.
>>27653476
>Silhouetted against the rift, with trails of smoke rising off his clothing from where the caustic vital fluids were burning it, you feel a twinge of confidence.
>Your dad, Night Light, tucked you in, read you stories, and checked under your bed for monsters.
>Anonymous, your father, came to you from across dimensions when you called for him, saved you from a dark god, and then tore it limb from limb for threatening you.
>There was a strange warmth spreading through your chest as you did your best to trot after him.
>Sure, you were out of breath, your body ached from where your muscles had been frozen in place, and you could feel the last of your magical power being sucked from your body into an infinite, dead void.
>And sure, this was pretty much all your fault.
>But . . . you were still stuck with a creeping certainty that everything would turn out alright . . . because Anonymous was here.
>You didn’t know it on a conscious level, but as you fell in line behind him you held your head a bit higher, and there was just a bit more confidence in your step.
>Your father was here. He’d protect you. Make things right.
>Maybe it was the extreme fatigue talking . . . but you believed it.
>>27653433
DYNAMIC ENTRY
>>27653486
So, X Gon Give It To Ya is playing throughout Anon's vicious and brutal beatdown, right?
>>27653433
>>27653445
>>27653459
>>27653476
>>27653486
>mfw I just saw the entirety of Ash vs Evil Dead today.
>mfw Amphetanon just happens to update as well.
>mfw this update.
Alright, that's all of it. Back on a phone. Goddamn starbucks is overpriced.
This was actually sort of a plot device I just had too much fun with. So . . . Yeah. Got out of hand.
Constructive criticism encouraged.
Regular criticism welcome.
Petty criticism at least lets me know I got you to read it.
OH FUCK I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE PASTEBIN
SHIT
>>27653655
>This was actually sort of a plot device I just had too much fun with.
If B rated movies have taught me anything is that you can never have too much fun, no matter how insane the situation might seem.
>>27653655
>Using allusions
It's OK, but don't overdo it. Relying on references would just eventually change your story into a shitpost, albeit a bit more artsy.
>>27653728
A glittery turd, if you will.
>>27653389
thank god its back
>>27653486
soooo, where did the father thing come from?
>>27653896
I'm also wondering this but I think it might just be a poetry sorta deal
>>27653486
>2 dads
>Not just "Proper Dad" and "Other Dad"
Good work, Amp.
>>27653986It's the RGRE equivalent of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy3Fb51GfdE
Is coltdom still a thing here?
>Twi & Anon save the world
>Anon is beat up, bleeding, and wants to sleep for 14 hours
>Twilight finally introduces Anon as one of her dads to the rest of the Mane 6
>"That thing is your dad?"
>Anon is out of patience
>Anon angrily gives the long and short of his and Twi's adventure and ends it with:
"Yeah, I'm her dad. The fuck is it to you?"
>Rainbow Dash gets stiff wings and she doesn't know why
>>27654041
kek
I want this.
>>27654041
And I just realized how fucking stupid that sounds. My bad, rgrie thread.
>>27653655
Will there be more or is that story over now?
>>27645374
what's your pastebin? I found one with yourname, but it seems that the cuts off at meeting pinkie
>>27653655
This is good, methbro. I hope that you've got more of it planned?
>>27653896
>>27653956
If you read his previous installments, you'll see why. This is a continuation of a story.
>page 8
>>27653655
Moar
>>27653486
a good father apparently will beat a dimension hopping god of death to smithereens with its own arm for threatening his daughter
>>27653486
Well, that was a rather terrifying description of the creature, along with a rather hilarious conclusion of it.
10/10 would read again
>>27655898
I have a rather highly relevant image for this, but it's on my desktop at home...
>>27655898
>>27655938
Best I got.
>>27653476
>>The way he’s dealing with this . . . you’re starting to understand why the summoning to bring him here was so sinister.
This... this right here.
Fantastic.
>>27655898
A good father doesn't let his horse daughter get killed by a skeletal death god. I'm actually a little disappointed it didn't mention stuffing Twilight into a bag.
>>27656065
>"Nice job, jackass. You opened up a hole in space and time and then forgot to close it. Get in the fucking bag!"
Poor, tiny mares, helpless against the wiles of alien stallions.
>>27656136
HELPLESS!
>>27656136
>>27656153
HELPLEEEESS!
>>27656136
I think you mean helpless against the ~whimsy~ of alien stallions.
>>27653728
>implying it isn't a shitpost already
>>27653562
The original dialogue for anon was from The Boondocks, but as funny as I thought it was, the skeleton never told Anon to 'Eat a dick nigga', so it didn't really work.
>>27653896
Someone slung out a prompt a few months back, and I was hopped up at the time, so I wrote like 4k in 6 hours on it and posted that shit.
>>27653896
>>27653956
http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8
Finally fixed that shit
>>27654005
Fuck. I regret everything . . . But I am stepped in so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er.
>>27654460
>>27655207
I'm about 1/3 done with what I had planned for this story, and I have 2 more lined up after I finish this one.
>>27654489
http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8
>>27655898
A good father would at least try.
>>27656089
>>27656065
I've been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious? I think the contrast is important to maintain, as Anon is coming from a world that is, quite frankly, far more bleak, depressing, and violent. He's been numbed to the gravity of the situation somewhat by media coverage of tragedy, a culture that has normalized violence, and his own personal hardships.
>>27656341
>ve been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious? I think the contrast is important to maintain, as Anon is coming from a world that is, quite frankly, far more bleak, depressing, and violent. He's been numbed to the gravity of the situation somewhat by media coverage of tragedy, a culture that has normalized violence, and his own personal hardships.
It's good, the contrast is good. It's entertaining.
>>27656341
>I'm about 1/3 done with what I had planned for this story, and I have 2 more lined up after I finish this one.
Are those other two continuations of this story or are they their own things?
>I've been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious?
The contrast is obvious, though to me Twilight's isn't the more serious of the two. I'd characterize Twilight's as the more academic of the two. Anon is just regular dude having regular dude thoughts about being in an irregular world. Twilight is trying to process and parse this like a scientist or other type of intellectual.
Her tangents, by the way, are adorable.
>>27646962
>Spike is the same on both sides
>Spike has perfect inner-balance
Spike notices that the mane 6 have switched. Doesn't care because he's too zen.
>Twilight asks Anon how to pick up stallions.
>RGRE confusion is inevitable.
>Shenanigans ensue.
>>27656925
I don't know I don't like stallions.
>Twilight assumes Anon is a lesbian and is hitting on her
>Can't run away fast enough from her own gay thoughts, no matter how fast her little hooves takes her
>>27656988
>"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS!
>YES WE CAN
>>27656988It's by getting tips from Anon that she later realizes he's the only one for her.Mostly because she realizes he's the only stallion she's not related to which she can talk normally without turning everything around her into spaghetti... most of the time, at least.
>>27657053
>>27656988
>Anon hits on Twilights mom
>She can't escape from her gay thoughts either
>Human flirting too stronk and they end up in the bedroom
>Twilight's mom is disappointed/relieved Anon is not a woman>Twilight's mom is astounded and aroused from the hot monkey dick though
>>27657234
>>27657270
>>27649483
I like it. So far not much has happened, so I don't know where you want to go with it, but it's cute.
page 8? The fuck?
>>27657270
>You are Twilight, and you stand with your family (sans Anonymous, sadly) as you gaze upon the sad sight before you.
>Your mother speaks up, sneaking a handkerchief out of her horsepocket to wipe her eye.
>She'll swear up and down that she was using the old, dirty rag the uses to clean scuffs off of her carriage, but you know that she's just trying to stay as maresculine as possible.
>She wants to be strong for you.
>"I can't believe I let Anonymous spend all of our hard-earned bits on that thing."
>You sigh explosively, the sound half-way between an exasperated noise a sob.
"I know. That has to be THE worst-built side table I've ever seen."
>Your brother, who had been silent up until now, speaks.
>>"It doesn't even go with any of our furniture. How will I ever buy throw pillows when that... THING doesn't even match the decor of the room?"
>You resist the urge to laugh madly in your grief.
>That was just... so "Shining" that it hurt.
>You and your mother begin to tear up as you consider your regrets.
>Imagine all the things you could have bought.
>All the nights out you could have enjoyed.
>All those corndogs you could have eaten.
>But not any more. Not now that Anon has drained your savings by buying a stupid table.
>The thought makes you and your family weep.
>>27656925
"How do I ask a stallion out, Anon? I-I-I mean, y-YOU'RE a stallion, and YOU know what you like, right?"
>Anonymous, thankfully oblivious to your distress, rests a hand on his chin and hums to himself.
>"Well, Twi, just lift your tail and present yourself to your stallion of choice. Guys will stick their dicks into just about anything with a vagina; trust me."
>It's that easy?!
>Hot dang!
"Thanks, Anon! I knew I could count on you!"
>You return fifteen minutes later with a black eye.
>"A-Anon?! What in Equestria are you smoking?"
"A cigar."
>"I... I can see that. Why?"
"Cause I like em."
>"But you're a stallion! You're supposed to smoke cigarettes from a long holder!"
"Meh, pony cigarettes are weak compared to human smokes, even when you cut off the filters."
>"And- Is that Zebra Tobacca?! The finest brand of imported cigars?!"
"Is it that good? Not as much flavor as my old Cubans.
>>27658611
I want the 30 seconds of my life back that it took to read this shit.
>>27658761
But I don't smoke.
There was an odd sort of silence in the Sparkle household. It wasn’t tense, or fearful, or even excited. It was a confused sort of silence, as if the residents of said household didn’t know quite what they were looking at.
“…Huh, so you weren’t just messing with me…” Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship herself, looked up from the surveillance crystal that he had been staring at for the last five minutes with a flabbergasted expression. “And you’re saying that this has been happening for the last couple of days?”
Rarity and Anon, both of whom were sitting on a pair of [i]very[/i] tasteful beanbag chairs with coffee mugs in hands/hooves, nodded.
“Yep. It started on Monday,” the young man said, taking a sip of his coffee.
Twilight looked over at Rarity, her eyes narrowing. “And you’re sure Rarity hasn’t done anything you’re not okay with, Anonymous?”
Rarity gasped. “Twilight! How could you say such a thing?!”
“Well… you know how you get, Rarity,” the princess replied.
“See? She knows how you get too, Rare,” Anon said over his coffee mug. “And no, she hasn’t done anything lewd to my person, Twi.”
“Well…” Scratching her head, Twilight looked back at the crystal. “That’s… peculiar.”
Rarity, with a ladylike hump, set her coffee mug down on the little table in front of her. “Twilight, darling, Anonymous and I have done everything in our power to discover what on earth’s going on—”
“Eh,” Anon grunted with a shrug.
“—But I fear our investigation as to what is happening isn’t getting us [i]anywhere[/i]!” Pressing a hoof against her temple, the fashionista looked at her friend. “Though we are loathe to do so—”
>>27658910
HEY LAP
>>27658910
“Eh.”
“—Shush, Anonymous. Though we are loathe to do so, I’m afraid that we have to ask you for your assistance.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed slightly. “So... you want me to help you figure out why you—” She pointed at Anon. “—Are sleepwalking to Rarity’s house and why you—” She pointed at the fashionista. “—Are not only opening the door for him but leading him to your bedroom.”
A blush came to Rarity’s cheeks. “I wouldn’t have… phrased it such, my dear Twilight, but I’m afraid that you’re correct.”
The princess hummed thoughtfully as she leaned back into the royal beanbag chair. Scratching her chin, she looked at the two. Her horn glowed, and with a spell her magic encased both the human and the unicorn.
“Hmmm. As far as I can tell there’s magical residue on either of you,” she muttered, nose scrunching up slightly. “So nopony cast any type of spell on you…” Tapping her chin with a hoof she stood up. “Tell me, did the two of you wake up in the same bed this morning?”
“Yeah, just like the last two days. Why?”
A smile came to alicorn’s face. It was an eager, overly excited, beaming smile. The kind of smile that one wore if they enjoyed mundane tasked far more than the average person, such as organizing books and collecting stamps.
“Well, since this isn’t the result of magic, at least as far as I can see, there’s only one way that we can solve this mystery!” the princess said with a flap of her wings.
“And how do we solve this mystery Velma?”
“Anonymous…”
>>27654049
it was good. don't feel bad
>>27656044
Based Doom for providing proper RIP AND TEAR reactions.
>>27658937
“What? You’re already the Daphne of the group and Twilight can’t be Shaggy or Fred. You might be able to make a case of her being Scooby Dooby Do but I figured—”
“Shush.”
"But--"
"SHUSH."
With a giggle, Twilight’s horn glowed, and with a pop a notepad and a quill appeared beside her. “We’re going to solve this mystery with [i]science[/i].” the princess chirped, looking at both the human and unicorn with barely contained excitement. “Oh, this is just like back when we were on the train going to the National Dessert Competition!”
Though she could feel a slightly headache coming on, Rarity smiled gently at her friend. “Now, Twilight dear, I believe that you used inductive reasoning more than science on that little adventure of ours.”
“Forensic SCIENCE is a very respected field, Rarity,” the princess told the fashionista as she yanked both her and Anon to their feet/hooves. “And just like most sciences I’m very well versed in it. Now, if the two of you could follow me we can begin.”
“So we’re not splitting up gang?” Anon asked, rubbing his hands together. “Fantastic. I’m getting sick of being chased by a guy in a goofy outfit.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?” she asked, playfully bumping him with her rump.
His brow furrowed. “NOT solve mysteries with me while driving around in a big drug van I guess…”
If Rarity had thought herself quite the private dick she was nothing more than a flickering candle flame compared to the blazing sun that was Twilight Sparkle. Dozens of books were floating over her head, she had equipment that the human and unicorn had never seen and who’s use they couldn’t even begin to determine. Under her breath, Twilight was muttering about theories and charts and Scooby Snacks. The purple alicorn must have asked the two at least half a hundred questions as she led them through the labyrinth of hallways that made up her castle.
>>27658990
What have you been eating the last few days? Have you been feeling under the weather? Have you met anypony new that seemed just a bit suspicious? Were you wearing a new set of socks and underwear? Do you snore? Have either of you booped the other in the last one hundred and twenty hours? Do you have any knowledge of either of your homes being built on ancient deer burial grounds? These and many, many, [i]many[/i] more questions bombarded Anon and Rarity as they followed Twilight totheir doomwherever she was taking them.
While Rarity had had a more laissez-faire approach to her investigation, namely doing nothing but eating all the pancakes that her new bed buddy made in the mornings and napping on her divan afterward, Twilight wanted results immediately and without delay. She wanted her questions answered, she wanted tests conducted and observations observed and she wanted it all to be a hundred percent accurate and on point. Which was why, after a few minutes of questions being flung at them with machine gun-like speed, they found themselves in one of Twilight’s guest rooms, standing in front of a bed.
“Alright, I’m going to need you two to get into that bed and cuddle,” Twilight said as she quickly scribbled something down onto her notepad.
Rarity blinked. “…Pardon?”
“I need you and Anon to get in that bed and cuddle, Rarity.”
A hint of red could be seen on Rarity's cheeks as she coughed into a hoof. “And why would you need us to do [i]that[/i], Twilight dear?”
“The two of you have been waking up in each other’s hooves every morning, so I’d thought I’d see if there was anything unusual about how you two slept together,” Twilight immediately responded, looking up from her notes to flash her friend a smile. “Even though we might not get anything out of it I’d still like to explore every avenue.”
>>27658761
Would getting lung cancer or other health problems from smoking be a thing in RGRE?
>>27659054
“I-If you must,” Rarity hesitantly said, looking over at Anon, who was already kicking his shoes off. The young man, feeling her gaze on him, looked up and smiled. She, with a slightly nervous giggle, found herself smiling back.
“Great! Now if the two of you can get into the bed I can start to observe and ask questions,” Twilight said, prompting them forward with a wing.
Without saying a word, Anon walked over to the bed, pulling down the blue covers before he sat down. Rarity, her heart thumping just a [i]little[/i] more wildly than it had before the three of them had entered the room, trotted over and hopped right next to him. “It’s not as nice as your bed, Rare,” the young man said, rubbing the cover in his hand with his thumb and pointer finger. “And these covers aren’t all that great…”
Rarity giggled, leaning against him. “Well, I suppose we shall have to have to make that most of what we are provided,” she said, giving his shoulder a nuzzle.
Twilight, looking up from her notes, watched as the fashionista crawled into the bed and under the covers. Anon, bouncing on the bed once or twice, quickly joined her. “The subjects still seem to be tense. Observing them in their preferred environment without their knowledge might have been a wiser option…”
“Twilight, if we are to do this I’d very much appreciate it if you weren’t so vocal,” Rarity panned, her blush darkening. “And I’d very much appreciate it if you did not call us [i]subjects[/i]. Please.”
“Oh, right… hehe,” the royal bookworm muttered as she hid behind her notepad, a sheepish smile coming to her face. “Sorry. I’ll let you two get adjusted before I start [i]chatting[/i] away.”
>>27659078
With a sigh, fashionista rolled over as Anon laid down, scooching closer as he rolled onto his side. Arms and hooves found themselves wrapping around bodies as the two pressed their bodies against each other. Rarity’s muzzle found itself nestled in the crook of Anon’s neck, her horn lightly pressed against his cheek, while one of his hands found its way to her mane, scratching her scalp. Another sigh could be heard, this time from both of them, as they settled themselves down, their bodies adjusting slightly as they tried to find the cuddle sweet spot. Getting himself as comfortable as he could in this foreign bed he found himself in, Anon blindly reached around for the cover, grabbing it and tossing over the two of them.
As the two were doing this, Twilight was frantically writing, peeking at the two every so often from the top of her notepad. “Though at first shy due to the fact that they have somepony watching them both of the subjects appear to have settled quite nicely,” she muttered under her breath. “Subject 1, being the bigger out of the two, appears to have settled into the role of big spoon, even though he is a stallion. He also appears to be using his hands to comfort and sooth Subject 2, something which she appears to very much enjoy, though she is a mare and such a role should be hers.”
“You know we can still hear you, right Twilight?” Anon called, even as Rarity nuzzled deeper into the nape of his neck to hide her embarrassment. “You’re like five feet away from us.”
“Sorry, sorry!” the princess said. “I just like to think out loud when I’m doing an experiment and—”
“We are [i]not[/i] an experiment!” Rarity protested, her voice muffled. “For goodness sake, Twilight!”
>>27659111
Anon couldn’t help but smile as Rarity squirmed against him, one of his hands reaching up to scratch her ear. A coo escaped the unicorn’s throat and she melted against him as his fingers worked their magic. “Don’t worry, Twi, we know how you get. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’d very [i[much[/i] like to worry about it thank you! I am a lady; not some sort of lab—tgonfdnvlkdfndl…”
Whatever else Rarity was about to say turned to babbling as Anon reached up with his other hand and started to scratch both of her ears. She let out a happy groan as his digits did their work. She rubbed her face against his neck like an affectionate cat, practically purring as her eyes closed.
“Easy there, Rare, easy…”
Now with a blush of her own, Twilight looked back down at her notes. “N-Now that the two of you seem nice and settled I think I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright.”
Remembering that she wasn’t in the privacy of her own home, Rarity quickly regained her senses and grabbed Anon’s hands with her magic, pulling them away from her head. She gave Anon a look, which he answered with a smile, before she picked her head up to look over at her purple friend.
“Very well, but first I’m going to have to [i]insist[/i] that you don’t tell [i]anypony[/i] what transpires in this bedroom,” she said with a huff. “I have a reputation to uphold.”
Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Now there’s nothing wrong with being a little overly affectionate, Rar—”
“Hush!” Rarity commanded. “And you hush as well, Anon.”
“…I didn’t even say anything.”
Anon’s perfectly reasonable response was countered with a boop to the nose. “You [i]always[/i] have something ridiculous to say,” Rarity countered with a huff. Lifting her head back up, she looked over at Twilight, an eyebrow raised.
>>27659146
There was a small smile on the alicorn’s face as she shook her head. “Alright, alright, I promise not to say anything to anypony. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
It wasn’t until Twilight finished the promise by accidentally jabbing herself in the eye with her hoof that Rarity relaxed. “Very well then,” she said, letting go of Anon’s hands. “You may begin with your questioning if you so desire, darling.” Almost instantly, his hands found their way to her neck and head, scratching and stroking. Rarity smiled as she let her head rest against his shoulder. “But I might recommend that the questions be asked quickly.” She yawned. “Whenever this ruffian has his hands on me I can never seem to stay awake.”
Anon found himself also yawning as he hugged Rarity closer to him. “Yeah, Twilight. If you’d hurry up and ask your questions that’d be great.”
“Hurry it up?!” Twilight squawked. “You can’t just hurry something like this up! There’s so many factors to consider, so many variables as to why the hay this is even happening! I could ask questions until I was blue in the face and I might not even—”
Despite her best efforts, Rarity found that her eyelids were slowly closing. She just couldn’t help it; [i]something[/i] just happened when she was with her human friend. Never in her life had she felt so safe, so loved as she did now.
“Are you sure you’re not using some sort of special products, Anon darling? Because if you are you must tell me what you are using so that I can acquire some for myself.”
Anon, his eyes already closed, laid an arm over her, causing her to smile. “Nope, I use the same soap that I always use,” he answered, yawning hugely once more. “And you smell gooderer too.”
“When we wake up remind me to help you brush up on your grammar, dear,” Rarity said with a giggle.
>>27659187
Anon’s grip tightened around her ever so slightly. “No thank you, I’ve had enough schooling to know that the practice is a load of nonsense.
“You’re a bunch of nonsense.”
“At least I’m not a gaggle of nonsense. You gotta watch out for those kind of people. They’re the troublemakers and scoundrels of the world.”
>>27659196
Alright, I'm done. Suggestions, concerns, comments are appreciated. Also I ran out of Rarity pictures.
>>27658937
Clearly Rarity's subconscious desires the dick.
And clearly Anon's desires the clit.
>>27659202
this story is adorable.
>>27659202
In >>27658937, you wrote:
“Hmmm. As far as I can tell there’s magical residue on either of you,” she muttered, nose scrunching up slightly. “So nopony cast any type of spell on you…”
Did you mean there was NO magical residue? Otherwise, I don't think I caught anything else.
Plus, this story is very cute and I want more as soon as you can put it out.
>>27658990
>If Rarity had thought herself quite the private dick
>private dick
Wait, what?
>>27659223
Another term for private eye
>>27659223
Think it's slang for private investigator. https://www.quora.com/How-did-the-term-private-dick-for-a-private-investigator-originate
>>27659078
>The young man, feeling her gaze on him, looked up and smiled. She, with a slightly nervous giggle, found herself smiling back.
cute
>>27659078
>“Well, I suppose we shall have to have to make that most of what we are provided,”
make the most of what we are provided
>>27659202
It's very cute and cozy. I've always loved stories where the human character is always petting or scratching ponies.
Double so if the ponies enjoy it.
>Kidnon in RGREquestria
>Clings to (insert mare here) because the talking colorful pony is amazing
>Meanwhile the flustered pone receives accusing stares from the passerby
>>27659520
The only Kidnon stories allowed here are the ones where ponies mistake him for an adult. Maybe go to pedo general?
>>27659520
>Kidnon is still larger than most mares and stallions.
>He sure does love ponies, though.
>>27659563
False. RGRE kidnon would be fine.
The idea has been pitched repeatedly, but there have been few takers.
How about a reverse?
>Adult Anon in Equestria
>All the ponies are immature to the point where Anon is convinced that the only adult ponies are the princesses
>Treats ponies like he would children
>Rewards good behaviour with ear scratches, belly rubs, and ice cream
>Punishes bad behaviour with harder-than-necessary nose boops, refusing to pick up and hold the pony, and making them sit in the corner for ten minutes
>>27659729
>Anon is remembered as history's greatest monster
>>27653431
Meh, I'm basically working on this story whenever i get a chance, but I'm migrating a fuck load of software and that's eating up free time too.
>>27656819
He doesn't care because he's not a manservant anymore. The way spike sees it, Twilight is Twilight no mater where she is, and so long as there's nothing he can do, its a vacation till she gets back.
That and feminine twilight with her ocd cleans better than spike does, and shoved him out of the way to do it herself.
>>27660050
ocd twi when
So when do things pick up on this board? Each thread I've been to has about two green posters, and the rest of the posts are variations of "page 8 not gr8"
>>27660119
Things pick up when the writefags learn to stop making their own circlejerk threads and just coalesce around common themes.
It doesn't happen. Either because of pride of because of some vague preexisting negative perceptions of "they're all faggots in X thread".
Open 5-6 tabs and just accept the stubbornness. This thread is the most active of the ones I have open and rarely devolves into strings of bumps.
>>27659613
>The idea has been pitched repeatedly, but there have been few takers
Shits hard to write, that's why.If you go to young, then anon then you get slice of life anon being a 'monster' and running a pony ragged. If you go to old, like passed 12,you get the young adult anon who knows what they would like, and due to size plus being the only one of their kind, could pass off as an adult
My favorite idea for this wasAnon is going through puberty and is learning he likes pony butts and just stares. At first its cute and endearing... but over time, the ponies grow self conscious and start buying clothing...At first its just underwear, as its cheap and covers what needs to be covered, but they quickly find anon just stares even harder...They Move onto skirts, but rarity didn't make them long enough, not by accident, but because they ordered the cheapest skirt, and this was cheap due to less material. This more or less painted a bullseye on 'hey anon, stare here' for the mares who decided 'you know what, I payed for it so I'm going to wear it.It's around this time that anon also starts staring at the male butts and before anyone says anything, no, this isn't a gay thing, in the show and majority of the fan art, the only distinguishing difference between make and females is a square jaw outside of bulk, and on top of this, this is rgre males who act gay as it stands... are they really, the fuck is the word, more male looking then normal, or would they be more feminine... either way a ponut is a ponut.Shit escalates till form fitting jeans are introduced, surely this will cover the genitals enough for anon to not be interested.Fucking wrong, anon now stares more at the jeans then he did at nude or underwear because seriously, it shows off dat ass just so much better.
And this just goes on, fashion after fashion till something that shows nothing is made
>>27660176
>I am assmad nobody wants to post in AiE anymore
>>27660176
>Open 5-6 tabs and just accept the stubbornness
>what is Thread Watcher
>>27660412
And now we know why kid!Anon is shit.
