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Shit
>>27554943
It happens.
Guys can I post green here? it will be my first time
>>27555243
Only if you're ready forthe Thriller.
>>27554672
What was it this time?
>>27555722
I don't know. Board moving fast today? Only 2 out of the normal 6 Durnks were around today to bump things?
>you are Anon
>you are a demon
>currently you are in your domain
>it's kinda hot in here
>you get a summon in someplace
"Well, looks like I'm leaving"
>you leave
>you're now in a room full of pentagrams, circles, and ancient writings
>the room is dark but lit only by scattered candles
>you look down and see a creature, it's small compared to you
>it's an orange pegasus with a purple mane
>judging by this pegasus, you're in Equestria right now
>and she's reciting an incatation
>she stops and looks at you
>"A-are you a demon, mister?" she says in a trembling voice
"I am Anon and yes I am a demo--"
>before you could finsih talking she interrupts you
>"Are you here to grant me my wish!?"
>I was going to say that before you were gonna interrupt me bitch
"Yes, so what do you wish for? money, fame, or power but first who are you?"
>"My name is Scootaloo and I wish fo--"
>before she could finish talking you interrupt her
"but in exchange for my services, I will take your soul"
>"M-my soul?" you can see the fear in her heart, this excites you
"Yeaaahh, after you die I get your soul, it's like this you wish something now and I take your soul later"
>"O-ok mister, are there rules to my wish?" she asks with a broken smile
"Yes, I cannot bring back the dead..."
>"O-oh"
>she looks sad
"and wishes have consequences"
>"Can you be my dad, Anon?"
>wut
"wut"
>>27555767
No.
>"B-but"
No. I've got too many kids as it is and I don't need anymore.
>"Oh..."
I'm calling child services and then I'm going to eat them when they show up.
>"At least we're spending time together."
Don't make this weird.
>>27555761
Spergs a sperging again.
Got it
Discount funposting from >>27551024
>>27552095
>be clergyanon
>purple come to you with WeeJee board
>ask how it work
>tell her 'devil magic'
>say she hear voices
>beat her with bibble
>kill posessed purple and save day
fin
>Be anon in deadquestra
>"Breadquestria"
>Pinkie Pie is interrupting your internal narration again
>She is really fucking ir
>"BEST PONY"
"Worst pony"
>Pinkie Pie pouts
"Shoo, get out of my bathroom"
>"But then I won't be in the story"
"I'll put my foot in your ass if you don't give me some privacy"
>Pinkie looks at you seductively
>"I just might have to take you up on that"
"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT FUCK OFF PINK HORSE!"
>Pinkie pie leaves
>You return to doing whatever it is humans do in the bathroom
>And then discover that she stole your toothbrush again
"FUCK YOU PINKIE PIE!"
>>27554672
bump
>thread 404'd
Guess it's an ITS HAPPENING sort of episode this week?
Christ you people are incompetent at keeping a thread alive.
>>27557967
Something like that I guess.
>>27557970
You too
>Anon outlives all his pony friends
>>27559476
Mr Potatohead?
>>27559476
Shouldn't have been the Highlander then.
>>27554672
>Posting the Ponychan version
Come on OP, step it up.
>>27559517
yes
How the fuck are you idiots so bad at keeping a thread alive you can't live one new episode day?
>tfw somewritefag will never be back to finish Captain Anonymous
>>27561147
Hey man, don't get mad cause you weren't, like, here, dude.
Coincidentally
>Tripfags in Equestria
>>27561147
Great job helping out!
I love your green!
>>27561216
Shoim pls
>>27561293
>Be Anonymous.
>GF is out with her BF Tyrone and left you to watch her son.
>He's tired of calling you a faggot after you watched the new episode today so he stopped bullying you.
>Got so caught up in your feelings after Fluttershy's brother reminded you of yourself that you forgot to post your green and AiE died.
>You let all the other Anons down.
>You decide to swallow some pills that night.
How's that, queer?
>>27562222
awasteofquads/10
>>27562928
>>27562963
neat
>>27562928
>Pizza in a dash
>IN A DASH
>Rainbow dash masturbates using Anon's leftover pizza slices
>It is her shameful secret
>Until one fateful day, when the fire nation attac-
>When she started getting really bad pains in her pony puss
>She goes to the horsepital, where the doctors diagnose her with a case of "Dear Celestia that's nasty"
>The only treatment is to amputate her butt
>However, because of just how fucking nasty that shit was, the amputations had to go a bit further
>They managed to save her wings at least
>Not so much the rest of everything behind her forelegs
>Now a freakish truncated mosntrosity, she is a nightmarish creature with just a pair of wings where her torso should have gone
>Shouldering this burden is a brand new challenge for her, but her shoulders are one of the few parts she has left
>I'm sure she'll do fine.
>>27562231
awasteofalife.
>>27561147
It's almost like people have better shit to do than to play lifeguard for the thread.
>>27564119
You'll find a purpose someday. Relax.
>You are Anonymous and you're watching some TV with your buds Rainbow Dash and Bon-Bon.
"Bon, is your girlfriend gonna come home and get pissed?"
>"She's not my girlfriend, Anon." Bon says.
>"Tch! Yeah right! We see you guys everywhere together!"
>Bon Bon glances at Rainbow. "I see you and Anonymous everywhere together too."
>You laugh.
"She got you there bro..."
>As you look back at the TV, your eyes pass over Bon Bon's cutie mark. You had never noticed before, but it looks like the candies you used to eat as a kid.
>You missed those...
"Say...Bon?"
>"Yeah Anon?"
"Does that...taste like candy?"
>Bon Bon looks at her flank. "Does it taste like WHAT?"
>You can't hear her, you're already bending down.
>You take Bon Bon's meaty flank in your hands and glide your tongue across the mark.
>Your taste-buds light up with the familiar flare that you used to experience all the time back as a kid.
>By Celestia, it tastes just like your favorite candy!
>You continue to lap up the flavor as Bon Bon writhes into the couch and moans.
>You twist your tongue and swap between the three candied marks, trying to appreciate the flavor of each.
>The one on top tasted like caramel, the one in the middle was taffy, and the bottom one was pure dark chocolate.
>You were in heaven, the sweetness of these treats was driving you mad. You continued to lick and suck Bon Bon's cutie mark as she moans and twists.
>"ANON!" Bon Bon cries. "ANON I'M- I'M GONNAAAAAH!"
>Something wet seeps out from underneath Bon Bon, something that smelled like vanilla.
>You only just realize what you may have done and sit up straight to look at Bon.
>She's panting and her cheeks are flushed but her eyes are narrowed. "Wh-what was that about?"
"I uh...tasted candy."
>You needed help here.
"Rainbow, you got my ba-"
>You look over and catch Rainbow Dash with her wings erect and throbbing and both hooves in between her legs.
>"Uhh...I can explain."
>Be Anon.
>There's a pony sleeping on your couch.
>He's been there a week.
>He pays you in brojobs. He's shit at it.
>You're going to throw him out.
>Maybe he'll go live with his sister again.
>You don't care.
>Maybe next time he'll learn to swallow.
>Be Punches Pinkie Pie in the Face Everytime He Sees Her Anon.
>You're sitting in Ponyjail again.
>You have no idea why.
>Equestrian customs are strange.
>>27556524
keked/10, good job anon
>>27565968
YES
>>27567920
Well too bad. You're too old.
Does anyone have any wizard/sorcerers in equestria greens? I was only able to find one, although I remember there being quite a few
>>27569162
>Be Anon
>You are a horserer, like a sorcerer but you specialise in equines
>ZAP
>There's a pony in front of you
"Bring me some coffee"
>"Okay."
>The pony goes off to the kitchen
>Shortly afterwards they bring a mug of coffee to you, all without you having had to get out of your chair
>Fuck yeah magic is awesome
>>27569681
Would horserers be shunned by the normie sorcerers like we are by non-magical normies?
>>27569772
Their only spell is summoning ponies to do shit for you. Not really ostracized, just looked down on for not being terribly useful.
>>27565968
I already have one tho
>>27570175
>I'm Mr. Whinnyseeks, look at me!
The entire population of ylilauta is now in equestria.
>>27571707
"Twilig."
>Twilight lets out a sigh.
>"What is it S-"
"Benis. :DDDDDD"
>Twilight exits the castle, then blows it up.
Benis
>>27555243
go for it.
>>27569162
http://pastebin.com/PcGdaxTj
>>27572382
a wizanon was fine too
http://pastebin.com/u/wiz_anon
>>27572950
So many nearly forgotten names...
>>27573606
So many people used to post here. Where have they all gone? Were they all just Durnk having identity crisis? Should we pick up the slack or let this die?
I say we all write shorts. Even if they're bad.
>>27573775
>Anon buys some pants from Rarar.
>Later that week.
>Shit, it's fucking hot and humid as hell outside.
>Cuts pant legs off.
>A little too short but fuck it.
>Who wears short shorts?
>Anon wears short shorts.
and fuck you captcha I selected all the goddmaned icecreams enough fucking times just work you cocksucker
>>27573775
Chill m8, work happens
>>27570175
That's not such a big problem when you can summon magic ponies to cast other spells
>Be Horserer Anon again
>Some punk insulted your magic
>You're gonna teach them a lesson
>ZAP
>ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP
"Go fuck that guy up for me"
>The six little ponies all rush off
>"Okay girls, how do we fight this one?"
>"RIP AND TEAR!"
>"But Pinkie Pie, think of all the shampooing it'd take to get that blood out of our coats"
>"Ah say we lynch the bastard, just like granny used to do."
>"Um, can we just write them a letter asking them to apologise?"
>"Anon said to 'fuck him up', right? I think I got this one."
>"Okay, you can try your idea"
>The ponies watch as their blue friend grabs the rude mage and flies into the air with them, pulling their clothes off with deft aerobatics
>Then fucks him, still in midair
>Higher and higher they go, the sharp turns thrusting their bodies together
>Today horserer Anon learned to be more clear with his commands
>>27573775
k
>Be Anon inna Equestria
>Wake up to the sound of loud banging inside your house at night
>Grab a nearby bucket and slip downstairs to see what the racket is
>Peek around the corner and-
"Fuckin shits."
>Yup.
>That's right.
>You got Zombie Poners in your house.
>The undead herd swagger about your living room like they own the place.
>The blue one is dripping her insides all over your couch while purple is running into your bookcase with her head.
>Repeatedly.
>Hopefully she won't drill through it with her horn.
>Anyway, your current equipment is certainly not going to cut the mustard with these ponbies.
>You turn towards the stairs to go back to the second floor and get your other battle bucket.
>But as you do, you're hit with the hot stench of death.
>Actually, it's mostly hay, but the stench of death is there too.
>Zombie Shy breathes heavily into your face.
>You respond with a bucket to the muzzle, roaring out
"Zombies don't breathe!"
>Flutter Gutter goes down like a sake of hammers
>Unfortunately, you've also telegraphed your presence to the other undead.
>As they whinny and pound their hooves against the ground in the other room, preparing to charge, you bound up the stairs
>At least, until you hear a still quiet voice from the ground.
>"Excuse me, Anon? You should probably pay that bill on your storage unit."
>What?
"What?"
>Glancing back, you see a clearly non-zombie Fluttershy staring up at you.
>"That bill, it needs to be paid. You're about to be late."
>You open your mouth to ask what the hell is going on when she lunges at you and bites you.
>As you collapse, your final words ring out through the ages
"Fucking, FLUTTERSHY!"
>Then you wake up, drenched in sweat
>You lay still for a moment, then roll out of bed to your laptop
>After a few seconds, you get to the homepage of your storage company
>Still half asleep, you type in your payment information and stumble back to bed
>Squirming under the covers, you sigh
"Thanks Zombie Shy."
>>27573944
>"Don't care. Got laid."
>>27573775
okay, have a short that I wrote a little while back.
"BONBON! LYRA IS DANCING ON MY BED AGAIN!"
>You wait a second for the candy-maned mare to walk in the room and start scolding the shit outta her girlfriend.
>But when she trots on into your room, something different happens.
>She climbs onto your bed and begins dancing in the exact same manner, right next to the mint-colored unicorn.
"Bonbon, what the fuck are you doing?"
>She gives you no answer, but just keeps looking at you and dancing.
"DAMNIT, WHY ARE YOU TWO DOING THIS?"
>As soon as you yell out, two more mares walk into your room, climb up onto your bed, and begin dancing as well.
>You recognize them as Lyra's friend Minuette and the town drunk Berry Punch.
"What?! Why?!"
>None of them speak, but continue to dance.
>As you start to banic, a whole lot more ponies enter your room.
>All of the stallions begin loudly fucking each other, while the mares begin throwing wine bottles and pillows all over the place.
>Within a matter of minutes, your room is a complete and utter mess of chaos.
>Discord would probably be enjoying the shit out of this.
>You, however, are not enjoying this.
>You begin to flip your shit, quickly jumping out of bed and proceeding to screech and jump around your room to try to scare off the insane ponies in your room.
>This does the opposite of what you intended.
>Some of the mares throw wine bottles at you, missing your head every single time, while the stallions try to pin you down on the ground.
>You can't evade the flying wine bottles forever, though, as one of them hits you square in the face.
>You somehow remain conscious, but you were knocked to the ground when you were hit.
>Two stallions quickly strip you down, while three more line up in front of and behind you.
>They begin to spitroast you while a few mares continuously dump wine all over the place.
>how_would_you_like_your_morning.mkv
>>27573975
>that pic
...thats not how vampires work
>>27574102
Uh oh, look out guys. We've got an expert on PONY VAMPIRES here.
>>27574045
Goddamn Tuesdays.
>>27574113
I didn't graduate from vampire school to deal with your sassy ass
>>27574138
Relax Simon, she's not even a real vampire.
>>27574138
I did though.
Majored in sass
>>27574235
I majored in interanal communications.
>>27574647
>"Please speak directly into the vagina."
Why are there so many different Anonymous in Equestria Thread s, if it now Anonymous in Equestria Thread lives? /mlp/ is fun
>>27575298
Couldn't tell you. Mostly I think they wanted to start their own AIE threads with blackjack and hookers.
>>27575321
Is not /mlp/ popular? I thought /mlp/ is popular in 4chan.
>>27575298
After over 1000 threads they started to get more and more shitposting so they started splinter threads
>>27575546
>implying there weren't even more splinter threads prior to 1000
>>27575557
Point them out
>>27575298
we're meanies
>>27575785
The thing is we're really not. Sure there are a few assholes that pop up now and again, but over all I've found this to be a relatively supportive group of people. That doesn't mean we put up with bullshit.
>>27575943
Fight me. I fucking hate you, and your smug-ass happy-go-lucky attitude.
>>27576068
Better watch out. I'm a master of the Dick in Mouth Marshal Arts.
I can blow you from across the room.
You'll cum without ever getting your pants off.
>>27575943
I believe when Luna's Anonymous was posted some asshat started getting assdamaged that it was getting so many (You)s and the author also got assdamaged and left, and somehow this progressed into the rest of /mlp/ thinking we're meanies
I don't get it, either
>>27575335
It's popular, just not very well liked.
we get some of the highest traffic and most visitors, but most other boards hate us and still see us as a shitty containment board.
>>27576328
We had that reputation beforehand because of namefag drama.
I thought the guy who was assdamaged was more annoying than the (you) guy. No one else really gave a shit.
>>27576563
Snu snu.
>>27576563
>"Hey kid, wanna ss?"
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>You lift into the air, screaming
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
>Your hair stands on end
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>This continues for a few days
>Ponies come and go, but you keep screaming
>With a pop your hair turns yellow
>"Huh, is it done?"
"Yes"
>"This /ss/ stuff is much less awesome than Cherilee led me to believe."
>You punch a tree
>It explodes
>"Okay, that's pretty awesome"
>>27577010
That was pretty awesome.
>>27577886
The same thing we do every night
>>27577934
>We suck the anonmanwe kill the batman
So I'll post this shit here too to keep the green flowing. Someone in RGRE came up with the idea that an Anon ended up in ancient Equestria is accidentally the source of gods, myths and legends.
Yaks
>"Gather round yaklings. And I shall tell you ancient tales."
>The little yaks gather closer round the fire, eager for the old yak's story.
>"Hear the tale of the Three Gifts of the Death God."
>"In ancient times, before the founding of our great nation, the gods walked with mortals."
>"The King of the Gods decreed he would find a permanent homeland for his people, for in that time we were nomads and homeless wanderers."
>"He gathered our ancestors and led them forth, with the other gods acting as protectors and guides."
>"But the road was long and harsh, our people were stalked by many dangers. One by one the gods fell, protecting our people from the perils of the world."
>"Until only the death god remained, for how can you slay Death itself. Anon! Lord of Death and Punishment! Sometimes he wore the form of a hornless minotaur at other times he was like a great ape of the jungle."
>"But always was his fur patchy and decayed, constantly it rotted away revealing his skin, pale and cold as the snow."
>"He led our people into the north, but they had no shelter for their tents had washed away in a flood."
>"So the Death God looked to the forest and taking many great trees in his hands, broke them. Thus he made wooden huts and gave us the gift of building."
>"It was at this time also that he gained the Branch of Punishment, but that is another tale."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>"GOD DAMN YAKS QUIT EATING MY VEGETABLES!"
>A man in rags emerges from a nearby hut.
>Pausing only to break a branch from a nearby bush and screaming obscenities he swipes at the intruding beasts.
>Leaves fly everywhere as the creatures flee terrified.
>>27578993
>-------Present Day---------
>"But the journey was not over, our people grew afraid. All but one of the gods had fallen"
>"They worried that the Death god could not protect them from all the dangers of the world. For even death cannot be everywhere at once."
>"Then Anon stood forth and decreed that we would go into the mountains of the north, for the mountains and snow themselves were his servants and would rise to defend us in times of need."
>"Thus our people found what would later become our home."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>"Fucking yaks, muh garden, vegetables grumble grumble"
>The man in rags spots a yak in the distance.
>"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'm moving house, somewhere there's no fucking yaks."
>-------Present Day---------
>"Our people where glad in those times. We had escaped danger and our great home was nearly built."
>"The khans of the clans turned to Anon and bade him take up the mantle of King of the Gods and Great Khan of our people."
>"But the Death God refused and more, decreed that he must leave us. Our people were saddened and confused."
>"The Elders asked him why he would refuse to lead his people and Anon answered 'All the other gods have fallen, there is none left to maintain the halls of the afterlife but I. And so I must go into the beyond and do the work of the many who have fallen'"
>"Thus our people knew the meaning of duty and perseverance. And to this day we hold to those lessons."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>"Ha fucking lost them. Stupid yaks. Where to now?"
>The man in rags observes the horizon in all directions
>"That forest looks good."
>>27579012
Deer
>"Gather round young bucks, for it is your first mating ruck and you must know why we do this."
>"In ancient times when the forests were wide and wild. When they were not only the haunt of strange beasts but strange beings. I speak of the Unknown Shadow!"
>The young bucks look unconvinced, some even snickering at the Elder.
>"Unknown Shadow? That's just a story."
>"No. The Unknown Shadow, Anon in the ancient tongue. The God of Predators and Mating is real. And he is the reason we perform the Great Ruck. Listen well."
>"In ancient days, the woods were wild and the tribes wandered freely."
>"But danger was always near, for all year round a shadow stalked them. A being with the power to become one with the shadows and possessed with great and vile cunning."
>"The Shadow hungered for our flesh but he was no beast filled with rage and brutality, it played a devious game."
>"It stalked young doe in spring, emerging from the shadows it would seize hold of them and..."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>A man in rags wearing moss and tree branches with a small shrub on his head crouches over his bound prey.
>12 hours wearing a fucking tree and finally success, he thinks.
>But she's a bit scrawny, maybe I could follow it back to its herd. What would /k/ do?
>>27579037
>-------Present Day---------
>"Having taken her most secret juices and with them baited his trap."
>"The heavenly scent luring many a stag to his doom, until the Forest King decreed that it must end."
>"No more would the tribes wander at will in spring but instead gather for the Great Ruck. For there was safety in numbers."
>"The Stags would compete in tests of strength, skill and speed. So that future generations would inherit their virtues and evade the wiles of the Unknown Shadow."
>"Thus was its malice confounded but be wary of the dark places in the forest young bucks for the shadow lurks there still. And it still hungers."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>The man in rags and tree branches observes a great gathering of deer.
>"Look at all that meat. Wish I had a gun."
>>27579049
Zebra
>"Come closer apprentice, if practice voodoo you must. Then you must learn of loa in which you'll trust."
>"I will speak of Baron Anonedi, a spirit you would not want to see."
>"Departing souls are his charge, he ferries them to the underworld on his barge."
>"At full moon, he walks among the graves. You might catch a glimpse of him if you are brave."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>A man in robes wanders a graveyard making spooky noises.
>I feel like an ass, he thinks. But it's worth it.
>He couldn't deal with anymore weirdness, so he hatched a cunning plan.
>He moved far away and built his home near a graveyard.
>He plays the part of a ghostly spirit, in hope it will keep annoying creatures at bay.
>"WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He says, while waving his arms about.
>Yeah this shit is haunted, he thinks. Stay the fuck away.
>-------Present Day---------
>"If his favor you seek, for spells and hexes you wish to speak."
>"Make an offering at the graves, and about his aid you'll surely rave."
>-------10000 years ago--------
>An annoyed man back his bags
>"God damn it" he grumbles.
>Last night he went out to spook around but he didn't like what he found.
>Zebra's worshiping an effigy. Of him.
>Chanting spells and rhyming words. Leaving offerings in the dirt.
>"To hell with civilization." He mutters.
Other races in the pastebin http://pastebin.com/9G2Xx8Ar
>>27554672
anon is a skinflint
>>27577010
I don't get it.
I'M BACK, and I brought a new story with me.
This is Familia.
>Your hooves find purchase on the ground as you clear the top of the latest hill. You’d been walking for hours and you really can’t place why.
>But there’s no better way to learn then by asking.
“Princess, can you tell me why we’re walking instead of flying there?”
>Princess Celestia tilts her head down to look at you and smiles slightly.
>”We always walk to this place.”
>That puzzled you, the Princess wasn’t one to stand on tradition when it was negatively effecting somepony.
“But that doesn’t make any-“
>”Everything will be clear in time, Twilight.” Celestia interjects.
>You’d been hearing that a lot lately ever since you became an Alicorn.
>The last few weeks seemed like a blur of movement when you thought back to them. From emerging from the astral plane with a new pair of wings to being coroneted as the Princess of Friendship and the litany of crash courses in politicking and decorum from Celestia and Luna that followed.
>You hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.
>As the two of you crest another hill, you turn back to Celestia.
“Princess, can you at least tell me why we’re out here?”
>Celestia is quiet for a moment as she shuts her eyes and nods. “That much you deserve to know.”
>”You and your friends have been at the epicenter of many world shaking events since you moved to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle. I suspected the course you were on early but needed to be sure before I brought you here. Now with your ascension, I have no doubt in my mind.”
>That was Celestia, always thinking how she could improve.
>You listen intently as she goes on. “As soon as any of us, those who’s fates it is to alter the course of things, truly begin on that path…we are beckoned here, to insure we get the perspective we need to wield the power that we do properly.”
“Here?” you ask.
>Celestia stops at the top of a hill and looks out over it towards a small cabin near the edge of a forest just beyond.
>”Yes, home.”
>>27581569
>The cabin was by all accounts normal. A single floor, a healthy chimney in the middle, illumination coming from the windows on one side and the dark windows of spare rooms on the other. So unremarkable that you couldn’t figure out why you were here.
>You’re about to turn and ask when Celestia composes herself and begins to trot down the hill.
>Scrambling to catch you, you get her ear.
“Uhh…Princess? What is this?”
>She’s silent again for a moment. “It will all be clear soon, Twilight.”
>That wasn’t enough this time, though.
“Does someone LIVE all the way out here?”
>Celestia nods. “A sage…of sorts.”
“Of sorts?”
>”Yes. An ancient being who has resided here…for as long as I can remember.” She adds quietly. “This is where those with power learn how to wield it.”
>That sounded impressive, Starswirl impressive.
“So he’s a mage of some sort?”
>Celestia shakes her head. “You’ll see, you will be coming here often for your lessons as opposed to what I did…you’re a bit of a special case.”
“Why is this sage going to help me?”
>Celestia smiles warmly as she reaches the wooden door. “It’s just his way.”
>Celestia takes a deep breath and knocks on the door with her hoof.
>”One moment!” comes a voice behind it.
>You hear someone rummaging around behind the door before it swings open.
>On the other side was something you’d never seen before. A biped, clearly intelligent from the way its deep eyes were looking at you, dressed in soft looking clothes of warm colors while a healthy beard rested on its chin. It smiled down at you in particular. “Hello there.”
“Er, hello. My name i-“
>You’re interrupted twice in the same day.
>”DADDY!” Celestia screams.
>Wait what.
>>27581581
>Celestia bounds forward to the creature and nearly tackles him to the ground, indeed he takes a step back to brace himself as Celestia thrusts her had onto his shoulder.
>”Whoa-ho! Hello to you too, my little sunbeam.” He says, running his hand through her mane. Celestia nuzzles her face into his shoulder.
>You stand, mouth agape, in the doorway.
“HUH??”
>”Poozer, I think your student is confused.” He says.
>Celestia looks over her shoulder and her cheeks turn scarlet. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry Twilight I simply got…caught up in the moment, yes.”
>She turns her head back. “Daddy, may we come in?”
>”Celestia you know you never have to ask that. Come! Come, the tea is just about done.”
>Celestia darts off his shoulder to the small kitchen near the back of the house. “I’ll get it!”
>The creature chuckles and waves for you to come inside as he slowly heads over to a large faded chair.
>You walk inside and shut the door behind you.
“Princess Celestia what the TARTARUS is this?”
>”Language.” The owner of the house says.
>>27581597
>Celestia returns with a piping hot teakettle and pours the contents into a cup on and end-table. “Of course, I’m sorry again, Twilight. This is Anonymous, the “sage” I was talking about earlier. He was Luna and mine and…other’s cartaker for much of our early lives.”
>Anonymous looks at you again and smiles, offering a wave. “Hello.”
>”Daddy, this is Twilight Sparkle.”
>”It’s a pleasure, Twilight.”
>You blink twice.
“But Princess, the legends always say you and Luna were the daughters of Queen Galaxia and King Cosmos!”
>Celestia pours some tea for you and finally herself. “The truth is slightly more complicated, Twilight.”
>Anonymous chuckles. “Not THAT much more complicated! I still remember it.”
>Celestia gets excited and sits on a couch next to Anonymous. “Oh! Can you tell the story? Twilight hasn’t heard it and it’s been FOREVER since I have. Please? Twilight, do you want to hear this story to clear things up.”
>You just silently nod your head, you really wanted things to make sense now.
>Anonymous nods and strokes his beard. “It’s as clear to me as if it were yesterday…”
>>27581610
-A long long time ago-
>You stand in your doorway and stare down at the two little fillies hiding behind a pair of legs in front of you.
“What the hell is this.”
>”THEY are two little fillies, alicorns, and they have big destinies ahead of them. Their names are Celestia and Luna.” The red maned alicorn at your doorstep explains to you.
“AND?”
>”And I’d like you to take care of them for me.”
>You blink twice.
“For how long?”
>She rubs the back of her head. “It will be a long while…”
>You blink twice more.
“I’m sorry, it sounds like you want me to raise your kids for you.”
>”They’re both good fillies, but I think this is the best home for them.”
>Your mouth nearly hits the floor.
“WHAT?”
>”I’m involved in so many other creations…I don’t know if I can give these two the guidance they need for their destiny.”
“What makes you think -I- can?”
>She chuckles a bit. “Anonymous, how long have we known each other?”
>Since you ended up in this world.
“A while…”
>”And in that time I can already tell you’ve got the heart for these two.”
>You look down at the two. One looked barely old enough to walk and sucked on a pacifier, the other had pink hair and looked up at you with big trembling eyes.
>It broke your heart.
>You sigh and step out of the way.
“Say your goodbyes and let them in…I’ll watch them for you.”
>>27581623
>After their mother had left, you have the two fillies sitting on your couch while you sat across from them in your favorite chair.
>The clearly older one, Celestia, hugged her sister close to her and stared up at you. The babe looked around as she suckled her pacifier, interested in every glittering surface of your home.
>You didn’t know what the hell to do with kids, man…
>You clear your throat.
“Celestia?”
>The girl jumps a bit and hugs her sister that much closer. “Y-yes?”
“What uh…what was her name again?” you ask, pointing to the smaller one.
>She looks down at her sister. “Woona.”
“Huh?”
>Celestia straightens. “Woona. Her name is Woona. L-U-N-A.”
>You work that out in your head and suddenly your heart hurts.
“Nnngggghhhh…are you two hungry?”
>Celestia just nods. “Woona needs her food mashed up!”
>You get up off your chair and go to the kitchen, grabbing a few apples to cut up and beginning to mash a few up into a bowl. When you return, Celestia seems to have relaxed a bit, but she still looks at you like prey would a hungry predator.
“…I know this is strange.”
>Celestia is quiet for a second. “Anon-e-mous? Do you…know why we are here?”
>Now you hold your thoughts for a second.
“You’re here…because your mom wants the best thing in the world for you, and sometimes that means letting you go…”
>Celestia hangs her head. “Oh…”
>YOU WERE NOT GOOD WITH KIDS.
“Hey…”
>She looks up at you.
“Ever seen shadow puppets?”
>The filly shakes her head.
>You take the shade off a lamp next to you and fold your hands into shapes that appear on the wall. The store of two dogs who walk into a bar, only for one to say ouch, plays out on the wall.
>Some giggles and laughs come from the mouths of the fillies and when you next look down, you see them sitting next to you, enthralled by the tale you spun now. It made you feel…warm.
>The rest would come later, for now you were breaking the ice.
>>27581632
-The present-
“So…you were left here as a filly, Princess?”
>Celestia nods. “Yes Twilight, Anonymous took Luna and I in when we were just little fillies. I wouldn’t be the ruler I am today if I didn’t live here.”
>It was now dawning on you why you were here.
“What did he teach you?”
>”Well as a start-“ Anonymous says, before holding a teacup out to you with fresh tea “-food and drink are an excellent icebreaker, along with a story.”
>He sets the saucer down. “We’ve moved onto tea in our older years, but the story part has stayed, hasn’t it, poozer?”
>Celestia nods enthusiastically.
“Okay, and the rest?”
>Anonymous looks up at you. “Hmm?”
>You present yourself forward the same way you used to at Unicorn School.
“The rest of the lessons? I’m ready to learn whatever you can teach me to be a good ruler.”
>Anonymous chuckles again. “Lesson two, Twilight, is patience. There will be time to learn all the rest later, now is the time for meeting! All friendships are built on the first moment two people meet, after all.”
>Anonymous takes a sip of his tea and Celestia motions for you to sit back. Another tale starts getting spun and you silently wonder what this will teach you about magic, but you can’t help but feel comforted in the presence of this oddity in this little house at the edge of the world.
>>27581645
Pastebin updated.
http://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For...whoever the fuck does it now: http://pastebin.com/SYxZ2Xwg
Thoughts?
Hooo. Been a while, huh? How's everything been hanging witchu? Huh? That's cool.
I got through maybe one game on my backlog,it was Witcher 36/10and enjoyed a vacation but the urge to come back and give more green to you guys was too much for me to bare anymore so heeeeeere we are.
This idea was a little ditty of one that I've had floating around in my head for years now. I gave it to someone else long back but they bungled it up so now I'm doing it. Hope you like cute kid crap because that's gonna happen a lot.At least until Moonie comes back.
Till next time, nerds.
>>27581007
Super Saiyan
>>27581710
YOOOOO Mandroid is back! Hype fuckin intensifies!! Can't wait to see where this goes.
>>27581710
>prepare to be bullied
https://youtu.be/fxCKb-kPysk
>>27581710
>>27580665
Read asskinwalker
>>27573975
>>27581645
Lesson three, always cradle the balls.
>>27581710
>cute kid crap
>>27584975
I once knew a six year old girl who could drop logs as long as her forearm.
>>27581710
>cute kid crap
>>27554672
Is there a story to go with this picture? I'm curious as to why Anon wouldn't pay 50 bits for Twilight.
>>27585670
Because she's only worth 40.
>>27585670
>Be Anon at the PoneMart.
>You see a discounted selection available.
>Hmm, smart, literate, friendly, princess? You think she might have mange or something.
Do you have mange or something?
>"No no no no, I've just been here a while and the owners are trying to clear stock."
Right.
>"Everyone seems to want a filly or colt, but I can be a good pony for you. I can do magic and I won't ever complain or run away."
I don't know.
>"Please take me home, I'll do anything. You can rough me up, rape me, I don't care!"
Look, I'm really just looking for a pony to help around the house and watch the kids. I'm not in the market for a toy pony. My wife wouldn't approve.
>"I'm good with kids! I can help them with their homework! I'll never mention sex again! Please, they're going to put me to sleep if I don't get sold!"
...fine.
Make sure to feed your pone and take her for walks.
>>27581710
Nice
>Yo Anon!
>Head on down ta da PonyMart and buy me some kibble.
>I'm freakin' starvin ova here.
>Hey! I don't need ta lose no weight!
>And if I was fat it's cause you never take me nowhere.
>Like you're embarassed o' me or somethin.
Multiple celestias bestlestias
>>27587577
What if from different timestreams/realities?
>One is Momlestia
>One is Anton's wife/lover
>One is Anon's adopted daughter
>>27587636
Middllestia has seen some shit.
>>27587636
who the fuck is Anton?
>>27587577
>split personality Celestia
>Anon is one of them
>>27587694
He won't stop touching himself in public.
>>27587658
Let's say he's Anon's father.
>>27587658
>>27587723
I'm on mobile, phone autocorrected Anon to Anton, didn't catch it.
>>27587711
>naturally, Celestia made Luna the ruler of Equestria
>Luna now have to manage:
>day court
>night court
>Equestria
>purple smart
>diplomacy
>and dealing with endless stream of Anonlestia public embarrassments
>to top that off, she also have to deal with Discord, pleading him to at least limit his chaos shenanigans to Ponyville
>but every time he just doesn't seem to care
>so is Anonlestia
And this is how Luna started to drink.
>>27587733
Needs sad anon in pic
>>27587771
Anonlestia learning how to walk on horselegs.
Anonlestia swearing in front of a school full of children.
Anonlestia trying to talk Luna into making out during court.
Anonlestia not using the three seashells properly.
Anonlestia is actually two humans in a horse costume.
Discord and Anonlestia don't get along well, but respect eachothers' abilities.
Anonlestia writing pornographic and disturbing friendship lessons to Twilight.
I'd drink too.
>>27587758
Gee anon, how come your mom lets you have two Celestias?
>>27565968
>"Hey kid, wanna sing 'Shout?'"
"W-what?"
>"Weeeeeeeeeeeeelll—"
"You can't be serious."
>"You know you make me wanna Shout!"
"I don't believe it."
>"Kick my heels up and Shout!"
"How do you even know that song?"
>"Throw my hands up and Shout!"
"You don't have hands."
>"Throw my head back and Shout!"
"Ponies are starting to stare."
>"Come on now! Shout!"
"What are you even trying to do?"
>"I'm TRYING to get you to sing so we can bond."
"Bond how?"
>"Over this song, duh."
"I would like to ask again how you know it."
>"I listened to it on that thing you always walk around with in your ear."
"My Dad's walkman?"
>"I guess, I dunno."
"How? I always keep that with me."
>"I got it from your room while you were sleeping."
"You were in my room?!"
>"Yeah; which reminds me, can you start keeping your door unlocked? It feels like I'm doing something wrong when I climb in through the window."
"..."
>"Wait, why are you heading to Stars and Bars? Oh, are you going to go get some of those awesome glow in the dark star stickers?"
"No, I'm going to use my allowance, which I WAS going to spend on candy at Bon Bon's, to get some metal bars for my window."
>"But that's the opposite of what I wanted!"
>>27589330
I preformed sexual acts unto her nether regions.
>>27576563
>"THAT'S IT! Either you give me sensual snuggles willingly or I'll take them myself!"
"I need an adult!"
>"I am an adult."
"No. No you are not."
>"Yes I am."
"You have the sense of responsibility of a teenager and half the development. I need a real adult."
>"Fine, I'll get Pinkie."
"Think about that again and tell me she's not a child in an adults body."
>"Twilight."
"Closer, but given her repeated identity crises I'd consider her a late teenager."
>"Princess Celestia."
"Please. She is so ignorant in her ability to protect people I wonder if she always sends you guys due to laziness or forgetfulness. You may want to test her for Alzheimer."
>"Then who would you consider an adult?"
"Me in about 10 years."
>"But I can't wait that long!"
"Bye Rainbow. Be in bed by 9."
>>27589588
rad
>>27585697
>>27585884
This makes me very sad. I'd actually like to see where this could go.
Reminds me of a similar story i came up with, where ponies were common and sold as pets/workers and such. Thought of the idea after lurking a Ponies in Earth thread a long while ago. I guess those PiE threads died off.
>>27587658
Anton is Anon's retarded Italian cousin.
![Ant-Man-7[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HoGV2is.jpg "Ant-Man-7[1].jpg")
>>27587658
A very small Anon.
>>27591825
What is this? An Anon for ants?
Are we being raided? /mlp/ is never this fast.
pls give me story related thing to draw.
>>27592499
Anon, Y, and Mous on a Jeopardy set with stupid answers on their podiums while an ever growing frustrated Twilight contemplates suicide or murder.
>>27590698
You could always give it a shot here.
>>27592499
Rainbow Dash trying to get Anon to SS.
>>27563518
>>27554672
>>27585670
>Eugh, this place is a real shit hole, absolutely awful conditions for the ponies.
>Unfortunately, buying from such a shit-hole is about all your price-range will net you, though you'd be lucky to find something even here.
>But you might've finally snagged a deal.
>You've been looking over this purple horse for defects for the last 10 minutes and you were stumped.
>Friendly, literate, princess pony for 50 bits?
>Bullshit. You couldn't find a down-syndrome mud horse for less than 100 anywhere else.
>You would know, you've been looking around for a while now, trying to find yourself a companion for your depressing and lonely existence.
>There's gotta be something wrong with her, though the manager has been adamant to the contrary since you first started looking her over.
>"I thought the exact same thing you know? Had her listed for 600, thought she would be out of here in a day and I'd have some easy cash."
>The grizzled man sighs heavily.
>"But she's sat here for months, people just walk right on by her like she isn't even there, no matter how much I drop the price!"
>He shrugs.
>"I dunno, maybe there's something me and you ain't seeing. Thought I might've been crazy before you came along."
>Yeah right, he's just trying to pawn off some chinese knock-off or something onto you.
>>27593910
She can read and write, right? Got all her shots too?
>A grin spreads across the mans face as he nods.
>"Yes and yes. Listen pal, I don't usually do this, but I really want to get her out of here, 40 bits and she's yours right here right now."
Thirty.
>Your terse makes him grimace, but he nods.
>"Whatever it takes."
>10 minutes later the paperwork is done and you're on the way home with your new, hopefully totally normal, purple princess pony.
So, uh, you don't talk much do you?
>The pony starts at the sudden question, sprawling herself across the backseat of your shitty sedan.
>"S-sorry! I guess I just got so used to being ignored in there that I was kind of... spaced out."
>Her tone and the dejected staring at the back of the passenger seat plucks at your heartstrings.
Well that shouldn't be a problem from now on, you're in the dependable handle of Anon Y. Mous from here on out purple pony.
Say, mind telling me your name? Or should I just call you pretty purple pony? Triple P for short?
>She smiles as she meets your eyes.
>"I'm Twilight Sparkle, it's nice to meet you Mr. Mous!"
>You flash her a grin before you turn to start your car.
Nice to meet you too, and please, all my friends call me Anon.
>As if you had friends.
>The engine of your car shudders for a tense moment, before finally turning over.
Let's go home, Twilight.
Is there a limit on how many stories can be going at a time? I remember reading that before but it might have been a different thread.
>>27593910
>>27593914
Unsure if I should try and continue, might be worth a shot? Bad/mediocre green is usually better than ded thread, to me at least.
>>27593939
No limits.
>>27593944
Go for it. I was expecting a fart joke and was surprised their wasn't one.
Why so cheap?
>"No reason."
>*phhhhrrrrrrt*
>>27593954
*there
I need to go to bed.
>Be anon
>be out of shape
>walking up to your front steps and reaching for your keys you pant slightly from the weight of your bag on your shoulder
>laziness, a lack of time, and a lack of motivation all compounded into who you are today
>being brought up in a family of people who eat like shit didn’t exactly help either though
>whatever, not like it’s going to change any time soon anyway
>the keys exit your pocket and are aimed at the keyhole ready to unlock the entrance to your humble living quarters
>foooooooooPTOOOOOOGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
>a cacophonous sound erupts up from around you
>suddenly your feet lose purchase and you begin to plummet into a milky white galaxy of an abyss
“FFFUUUCCCCCCKK!”
>before the word leaves your mouth you’re hurtling downwards into an endless chasm of swirly white as wind whips and licks around you like a playful spirit
>vvvvVVVVVOOOOOOMPPP
>another sound and with it a rush of force
>it felt as if you were being struck by a large animal who’s territory you had entered without consent
>you’re sent flying and with a tremendous thud you land, hard, and are sent rolling until you collide with a hard object and the world snaps to black
>…
>”Yo you ok?”
>your neck feels stiff as you turn your head to locate the sound and as you do a sharp pain burns its way up the back of your head like a lightning bolt
“Son of a bitch…”
>you groan as you open your eyes
>you put one hand down to sit yourself up and survey yourself
>a twist of your head shows your neck to be a little stiff, you seemed to be lying at a weird angle which is probably the cause so you mustn’t have been out too long
>at least you won’t get brain damage
>maybe
>your head hurts but aside from that you seem fine
>you look up to see where the voice had come from but only see a green field bordered by a dirt road that passed by a cottage leading into a forest beyond which you could see the sun setting
>behind you is a tree which you presumably head dived into
>”Up here train wreck”
>the voice once again along with the beating of air catches your ear
>your eyes drift farther upwards to see a shape moving against the sky but it’s hard to make out as your eyes are still blurred from the impact
>slowly you force them to focus as the object comes into view
>hovering a good 6 feet in the air is a light blue, sky colored pony with messy hair in streaks of various colors and hues, each one blending into the next seamlessly like a finely rendered painting
>behind the snout an eyebrow was raised above the maroon colored globes that peered down at you
>”what did you forget how to speak or something? Whatever, listen, my name’s Rainbow Dash. Do you need help or what cause you look like you just took a bat to the dome”
>ok, maybe there’s a little bit of brain damage
>you wince as you prop yourself against the tree behind you
“My name’s… my name’s anon. I think I hit my head pretty hard or something”
>as you say the words you reach down and pinch yourself slightly
>oww
>stop being a little bitch it’s just a pinch
>not like it’s any worse than your head right now anyway
>you know where you are
>you know who is hovering in front of you
>but you ask anyway
“Where am I?”
>she looks at you quizzically for a moment
>”Where do you think bub, we’re just outside of ponyville. Geeze you really did hit your head hard huh? By the way, what uhh, are you?”
>she punctuates the last sentence by tilting her head and peering closer to try and discern your anatomy
>where to start, no way could this get complicated
“I uhhh, im what you call a human”
>you decide to keep it as simple as possible
“I honestly don’t really know how I got here…”
>the flying pony lands and trots over to you while looking you up and down
>she doesn’t seem to know what to make of you, and with good reason
>as she does you give your head another twist which prompts a sharp intake of breath through gritted teeth
>she looks upon you with a sympathetic visage before turning to look at the fading sun
>”Look guy, the sun isn’t gonna be up much longer and I don’t really feel like freezing my flank off soooo.”
>at those words you swivel your head around trying to find your bearings
>the thought of staying out at night isn’t a pleasant one
>seeing this dash sighs and rolls her eyes
>”Don’t you have somewhere to stay for the night?”
>you shake your head despite the discomfort
>”Any money? Can’t you go and get a room at the hotel in town?”
“I’ve never been here before and I don’t know where anything is. You really think I decided to come smash my head against a tree for fun or something?”
>she snorts a little and chuckles at you
>”I don’t know, you don’t seem too smart to me.”
“Oh really wise ass? Maybe I’ll just show you how it feels if you want to keep laughing.”
>this prompts even more laughter from dash
>”Alright, calm down buddy it’s just a joke. You really don’t have anywhere to stay though huh?”
>you look at her and laugh a little grimly at your own situation
“I guess not, what the hell am I supposed to do?”
>she looks around thinking and turns back to the now almost completely set sun before sighing and whipping back to face you
>”Alright well I’m not staying out here any longer and I can’t really just leave your butt out here to freeze so come on”
>with that she turns in the air and starts flapping off down the road before noticing you’re still exactly where she left you
>”Oh come on dude let’s go. It’s getting cold.”
>you look at her confused
“Where are we going?”
>she rolls her eyes again
>”My house you twit. Now come on.”
>with that she turns back down the road and carries onward
>as quickly as you can you scramble to your feet and chase after dash
>she hadn’t gotten very far but the burst of energy that it took you catch up left you breathing rather heavily
“Hey…h… hold up”
>you pant as you finally reach her
>she turns around and grins
>”What? Too fast for ya?”
>the grin stings your pride a little as you settle into a quiet walking pace.
>minutes pass in relative silence apart from your heavy breathing and footfalls accompanied by the flutter of wings next to you
>the arches of your feet begin to ache when a small one story house comes into view on the edge of a town.
>dash flies over the gate at the front and lands on the doorstep before reaching behind a potted plant and retrieving a key
>turning over her shoulder she sees you still standing at the gate, unsure of what to do
>”Dude what are you a vampire or something? Come on slow poke.”
>she swings open her door and heads inside as you push open the gate and follow suit
>once inside, to your left you see a living room adorned with a sofa and an arm chair facing a tv on the wall and farther past the living room an open kitchen that can be seen from the living room and front door
>to the right is a wall and a hallway that presumably leads to a bedroom
>walking into the living room you look around
>the floor has some clothes strewn about and there are some plates left on an end table next to the couch but otherwise it seems free of clutter or dust
>as you survey the area dash calls out to you from the kitchen
>”Hey! You hungry? I’ve got some salad that my friend fluttershy made for me the other day. It’s pretty darn good.”
“Yes please. That actually sounds pretty good. You don’t have any, like, meat or anything though do you?”
>dash looks over at you with another cocked eyebrow
>”Ahh, so you’re one of those kinds that eats meat too then. Sorry but no dice, there’s a couple places in town that serve some fish and chicken and stuff for visitors like gryphons but I can’t say I eat that stuff myself.”
>figures
“Ok that’s fine. Just thought I’d ask.”
>soon enough she comes flapping towards you with a plate in each hoof
>how she’s able to hold the plates, nobody knows
>better just not ask
>”Here you go”
>she hands you a plate of greens and sits down on the couch to eat her own
>you join her and sit in the armchair that’s angled towards both the tv and the couch and begin to eat
>”So why don’t you go ahead and tell me how you ended up with your head in a tree” she says haughty as ever
>you pause from your food for a moment and think of what to say
>eventually you decide to come clean and tell it as it is, aside from the whole tv show centered around her and her friends thing
>she listens in between chews of her food with questioning eyes
>once you finish your tale as well as your food she chuckles again
>”Well that’s one hell of a story anon. I might have to take you to see my friend twilight and see what she can make of all this. I guess for now you can crash here though. Not like I have any roommates to bug so it’ll be fine. Just don’t trash anything ok?”
>you nod back to her and thank her for the dinner
“Dash?”
>>27593944
Please continue
>”Hmm?”
“Why did you help me?”
>”Everyone needs a little help every now and again. And besides, I was worried you wouldn’t even make it into town if I left you alone after I heard how hard you were breathing after catching up with me.”
>she chuckles again and your pride deflates just a little bit more than last time.
>she puts the plates in the dishes and disappears into the hallway while telling you to wait in the living room
>she re-emerges with a couple blankets and a pillow and tosses them to you
>”Go ahead and get set up on the couch. You can come in and shower after that then we can hit the hay.”
>you do as you’re told and construct a makeshift bed from her sofa and blankets before following her into her room
>she leads you into the bathroom and lets you use her facilities before she herself showers and you both end up back in the living room
>”So uh, if you need anything you know where I’ll be”
“Thank you for everything Dash. Goodnight”
>”Goodnight.”
>with that she trots off and you lay down on the couch to reflect on what had happened over the course of the past few hours
>it doesn’t last long, however, as the trip to her house along with the stress of the events leading up to this have drained you of your energy and soon sleep finds your eyes and your mind fades into the black abyss
That's all for tonight. If anyone gives a shit about it in the morning I'll write more. It will be an RD fic obviously and it will be focused around anon's weight issues and how he attempts to overcome them. Clop intended to be a natural progression of the story after some time. In what form that may take, I guess we'll find out, or not it's up to you guys
>>27593944
As the anon who first asked about the OP pic, i would enjoy to see you continue. But don't feel pressured if you don't want to.
>>27593944
Continue but put quotation marks around the rest of the speech.
>>27594467
"the rest of the speech."
>>27595121
That's a good start.
>>27594280
Keep going you massive faggot. We need as much green as we can get that isn't garbage, and you're not writing like a retarded gorilla so you're fine.
>>27595461
>Day ook ook in Equestria.
>You are Anonymous the manape.
>Well, not really. The little horse things that run this place put you in a zoo next to the gorillas.
>You've tried showing them that you're intelligent, but nothing works.
>Plus they get mad when you build fires in your enclosure.
>At least the food is alright, and that one caretaker tries to get you to lick the peanut butter off of her. So at least there is that.
>>27595461
This
crosspostan
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>At the library.
>Book lizard is giving you shit about not having a library card.
"Fuck you Spike, I can read what I like."
>You punt the dragon out of the room and go back to your book.
>Harry Baggins just poisoned his brother Jeffrey at his wedding.
>Shit is cash.
>Oh hang on there's someone next to you.
>The purple pony who sleeps in the loft is there.
>She has a ponicemare with her
>"Sir, put the book down"
"FUCK THE POLICE!"
>You use one hand to pull out your dick while still reading your book.
>You charge dick-first to glory.
>While you are busy buggering the ponicemare she arrests you for parking your car illegally in front of a fire hydrant.
>Clever girl.
>>27594247
>light blue, sky colored pony
In the past few years of my dabbling in this fandom, you are the first mother fucker I've seen actually describe RD's color correctly. Thank you.
>>27596426
I think you'll find that it's more of a light blue, Rainbow Dash colored sky.
>>27596426
Its technically very light cerulean (#9FE7FF)
>>27596426
>>27596436
>>27596446
Colorblind Anon in Equestria when?
>>27596482
When people learn the difference between sky blue and cyan, and not a minute before.
>>27596523
If I turn the lights off they are the same.
>>27596731
That's beside the point. Also, maybe a little lewd.
>>27596731
Not really, Granny Smith is still like sticking your dick in a jar of old mayonnaise on a hot July day.
>>27596986
I am legitimately disgusted. Bravo.
>>27595461
Fair enough anon, i'll be back to it later tonight
>>27597017
Thank you. I take pride in my work.
>>27596986
Read this whie eating my sammich. Taste better now.
>>27590698
Dedicated PiE threads come around about once a month. About two weeks on and two weeks off. We migrate here in the meantime. So go ahead and post here and then repost in PiE when it comes around. We were just discussing when the next thread should drop.
>>27596986
>You awaken in a darkened room the only light comes the thin rays of sunshine peeking through the drawn curtains.
>The rope wrapped around your ankles and wrists pull your limbs toward the corners of the bed you’re lying on.
>Your clothing removed and draped over a chair on the other side of the room.
>Nothing to do but wait
>It is not long before you hear the clopping of hooves in the hallway.
>As you look over the door opens and the figure of a pony walks in.
>Her light green coat, silver mane pulled up and tied into a bun and an image of an apple pie emblazoned on her flank.
>It’s Granny Smith
>As she walks over to the bed, a grin never leaving her lips, she looks into our eyes.
>”Well now ain’t you just a sight.”
>Rising to place her fore hooves on the bed she reaches to begin stroking your leg
>”Ah just love havin a big strong stallion all trussed up like this, makes me all tingly.”
>Her grin broadens to a smile, accentuating the already deep lines on her face.
>Reaching back behind her head she pulls out a clip allowing her silver mane to cascade down her neck.
>Placing the clip upon the bedside table you hear a slight plop as she removes her dentures and places them down as well.
>She looks back to you with lust filled eyes.
>”Now then sonny, how about we have us some fun.”
>You lay there watching as she drags herself onto the bed.
>She places a hoof on your chest and glides it down to your stomach stopping just before reaching your groin.
>Lowering her head she plants a light kiss on your cheek, then your neck and then moves down to your chest.
>Opening her mouth she begins tracing a circle around your nipple with her tongue.
>>27599389
>Working her way down your chest and abdomen, alternating between licks and kissing, she once again stops.
>Stepping over you she straddles your chest facing your feet.
>Her tail is still drawn into that little bun shape she keeps it in.
>Giving you an unobstructed view of her slightly sagging flank and wrinkled marehood and anus.
>You can see moisture on her lips as they lower in front of you
>You can smell her.
>The scent of fresh baked warm apple pie.
>You feel her breath on your member just before she gives the head a quick flick with her tongue.
>This was maddening.
>She knew just what she was doing.
>Running her broad tongue along the underside of your throbbing cock ever so slowly.
>Pulling the head just inside her mouth and holding it with her gums just below the crown.
>Moving her tongue around it in slow deliberate circles.
>Pushing forward she takes you fully into her mouth.
>Right down to the base.
>Not even a hint of a gag reflex meets you as hit the back of her throat.
>A testament to her years of practice with her experienced lips.
>She pulls back only to dive forward once more.
>It repeats at a slow and steady pace.
>All the while you are just lying there.
>Staring up into her hind end.
>The slight swaying of her hips as she works your cock.
>Watching as her marehood winks at you.
>Beads of her fluids forming on her lips.
>Falling to your chest.
>>27599399
>Her lips make a little pop as she releases your cock.
>With a kiss to your tip she stands and turns around.
>”Mmm nice and hard just the way ah like it.”
>Once again she is straddling you.
>She is looking into your pleading eye as she lowers herself to you.
>Rubbing her marehood along your shaft
>Wetting it with her juices.
>Her gaze never leaves your face.
>Even as she reaches back with her hoof and takes hold of your throbbing member.
>You still have no idea how the fuck they do that.
>” Ah hope yer ready because ah know I am.”
>Placing your tip at her entrance she lowers herself once more.
>You feel yourself enter the warm wetness of the elderly mare above you.
>There is no resistance only the gentle grip of the walls of her sex.
>Whether this is due to her advanced age or the size of her late husband you are not sure.
>The photos of her and her former husband show him to have been a massive stallion.
>It is easy to see where Big Mac gets his size.
>The thought of that large stallion tied to a bed and at the mercy of his tiny wife is amusing.
>At least it would be if you were not so distracted by that same mare now riding you.
>You feel her thighs griping your waist as she sits her weight upon you.
>Her eyes closed as she enjoys the sensation of being filled.
>”Ain’t nothing like the feel of a warm hard male inside ya.”
>She is rocking her hips now.
>A slow rhythm in her movements
>Her silver mane sways with every thrust.
>>27599403
>You begin moving your hips to meet hers.
>She looks down to you and grins her toothless grin.
>”See now yer gettin’ into it.”
>Leaning down she kisses your cheek.
>Her movements begin to speed up.
>The grip of her marehood tightens a bit.
>You can tell she is getting close.
>With all the teasing and foreplay you are nearing your own.
>She really starts bouncing on your hips.
>The bed is shaking and the headboard begins tapping the wall from her motion.
>Thrusting your hips to meet hers you feel yourself at the edge.
>Though she is the first to climax.
>Her loose marehood grips you a tight as it can as her body stiffens.
>It is all it takes to push you over.
>Slamming your hips to the elderly green mare you hilt yourself into her.
>You release into her depths, filling her.
>As her orgasm subsides she falls onto your chest.
>With a contented sigh she looks up into your eyes once more.
>Reaching up with a hoof she pulls the gag free.
>Leaning in, her lips meeting yours, her tongue invades your mouth.
>Breaking the kiss she pulls back and smiles down at you.
>”Same time next week sonny?”
“You know it sweetie pie.”
>Untying your wrists and ankles she moves back up to you.
>She lays her head down on your chest and the two of you drift off to sleep.
>>27599414
>Big Mac walks in
"Granny, are you aslee- Huh? Anon? What are you guys do-"
>*sound of gears turning*
>*ding!*
"NOOOPE!!!"
>door slams shut
>loud nope'ing can be heard through the entire house
>in a flash of red, and a little bit of green, Big Mac bursts from the front door, running into the sunset screaming:
"NOPE!"
>such is live in no door locks Equestriasorry, I couldn't resist
>>27599414I remember
>>27587771
>>27588787
Part I: Good morning Luna! 1/2
>Thou art Luna, Princess of Equestria
>And thou desire to return back to the Moon
>you are exhausted, tired beyond measure
>but you must endure, for the fate of Equestria depends on you
>Yakistan delegation is at the table, once again with their territorial disputes
>you wade your way through lies and twistsed truth, striking time and again, parrying and disarming your opponents, leaving the yaks speechless and angry
>they will come again, this war is far from victory
>but for this day, the battle has been won
>delegation is escorted away
>as they leave the room, a sigh of relief escapes your lips
>you compose yourself as yet another batch of diplomats and politicians marches in, demanding your undivided attention
>minotaurs have extended an olive branch - a chance to prevent the upcoming war
>you open your mouth to greet them as you hear it...
>a wicked cackling down the hall, whose source will present itself shortly
>in a flurry of white, Celestia slams through the doors
>wielding a huge hammer
"Surprize!" - she yells, castle walls echoing her loud appearance
>startled, you try to reason with what's left of your beloved sibling
>in return she laughs like a maniac, swinging her huge hammer, babbling obscenities at nopony in particular
>as if to punctuate her tirade of bad manners, your sister lowers the huge tool on unsuspecting diplomats
>leaving a small coin with the face of the victim where it once have stood
>>27600086
Part I: Good morning Luna! 2/2
>finished playing whack-a-mole in high politics and giggling like a little filly, Celestia looks at you
"Gee, Loonie, what's the matter? You look like someone just died. HAHAHAHAHA!"
>this time the giant appliance looms over you
>a moment later the hammer falls and the world goes black
> . . .
>your eyes fly open
>the heart is threating to burst from your chest
>for a whole minute you lie motionless, drenched in cold sweat, listening to your own heartbeat and ragged respiration
>finally, you blink
>taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and turn to glance at the clock
>it's about time to lower the Moon
>closing eyes again, you wince, drawing another deep breath, and get out of the bed
>the waking world awaitsGod help me, now I have to finish it...
>>27600100
Yes, yes you do. And there is no God here. Only FartAnon.
>>27590698
Pretty much what the subjugation thread is about.
Link me to Nebulous's pastebin pls
>>27602163
Doesn't mean we can't post stuff like that here.
>>27602285
Of course not, just pointing it out.
>>27602293
Indeed.
test
>>27602594
This is not a test.
>Be Anon.
>Ponies try to rape you every day.
>But they do not succeed.
>Because you can't rape the willing.
>And boy are you willing.
>So much so that no one tries to rape you anymore.
>Except Rainbow Dash, but you feel bad for her so you pretend to struggle a bit when she "catches" you.
>>27602626
Seems reasonable.
>>27602605
Oh shi
>>27603461
Whatever it takes to survive and adapt.
>>27604618
Sometimes you just gotta open up your asshole for a couple of maredicks if it puts a roof over your head.
>>27605030
Roof? Nigga I'd do that for some KFC and a ride to the post office.
Continued from http://pastebin.com/fAz0cZ0F
>The guards came for you in the morning, sounds really sinister when you think about it that way.
>They only came to show you the way to Luna's 'Teaching room' which was not nearly as kinky as your imagination would have liked.
>You could swear the 'Teaching room' used to be dining room. In one corner was a pair of desks, complete with blackboard and a pile of books.
>Your chair looked like an unpainted copy of the princesses throne. Not surprising really, chairs your size are something of a rarity.
>Built down the length of the room is a target range, rather hastily assembled by the looks of it.
>And then there was Luna herself, in a huge blue robe decorated with a pattern similar to her butt mark.
>She insisted it was appropriate attire for a teacher, even though it was about 12 sizes to big for her, the thing was blanket.
>"When thou art finished mocking our robe we shall begin. Unless you would prefer detention?"
>Detention? You're already detained, you're a bloody prisoner.
>But yeah you're done mocking
>"Good, then we shall proceed."
>"There are three stages of progression to true wizard status."
>"The first is magic by incantation. This involves spoken words, ritual objects and so on."
>"The second is horn magic, spells are cast through movements of the horn and body."
>"The final stage, the supreme proponents of magic, are wizards of pure thought, who need no words or gestures but by their will alone pierce the heavens."
>What follows is an hour long lecture on the basics of magic.
>>27605328
>Not to disparage a princess but it was a bit boring. You already knew this stuff.
>What with the whole locking yourself in your house with a pile of books and doing your best Twilight impression.
>"Now Anon as thou can see we have prepared a target range. We wish you to demonstrate what you know."
>"Well, I only know a telekinesis spell and it doesn't really work well......"
>"We are aware of this, the Element of Laughter told us a great deal. Now demonstrate it."
>Moving over to the range you find a bucket of small rocks and a large archery target at the other end.
>"You may want to take cover."
>Luna just huffs and stands next to you.
>Concentrating on the rocks, you lift three into the air and hurl them downrange before the inevitable happens.
>Which does, just before they reach the target showering it in high velocity basalt shards.
>Luna has a look of intense concentration on her face.
>"Again."
>15 minutes later, the bucket is empty, you're tired, the far end of the range has been pulverized and Luna is studying it like you've hidden the secrets of the universe in the rubble.
>"That will be all for today Anon, thou may join us for dinner this evening if thou wish."
>"Will Celestia be ok with that."
>"Do not worry Anon, our sister is nothing if not relentlessly optimistic."
Continued from http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d
>You are Femanon and you're on your way to breakfast after a weird night.
>Weird because you had some particularly vivid dreams.
>For one you remember the dream incredibly clearly which isn't normal.
>And two, you er, made a mess of the bedsheets because of it.
>Luna busted into your room and like some horse dominatrix, tied you to a chair, gagged you and then spent the entire night cliteasing you with some kind of alien stripper dance.
>Pushing open the door, you find Celestia, Luna and breakfast waiting for you.
>"Good Morning Femanon, did you sleep well?"
>"We are sure she did dear sister."
>Luna looks unbearably smug when she says this.
>Can a horse look smug?
>It doesn't matter, breakfast appears to consist of fruits and some kind of cereal looking stuff.
>The lack of bacon and eggs is disturbing.
>But food is food and while you eat Celestia continues her explanation of the world.
>Wait what?
>"Hold up, could you repeat that last part."
>"I control the movements of the sun and Luna the moon."
>"Luna also sometimes observes the dreams of my little ponies, to offer advice and-"
>The rest of her words fade into the background as you pokerface so hard your jaw begins to hurt.
>Smug horse being smug suddenly makes sense.
>You maintain eye contact with Celestia but you can practically feel Luna's grin burning into the side of your face.
>Eventually breakfast ends and the princesses depart to do princess things.
>The guard who shows you back to your room is just as twitchy as he was yesterday.
>You'd think he'd be a bit more comfortable around you by now.
>Maybe he's not the same one, they guards do seem to making an effort to look as similar as possible.
>None of the other pony aliens you've seen had shared same colour scheme.
>Dyed fur is probably part of the uniform.
>>27605342
>You are Swift Spear and oh stallion was Golden Helm right.
>It's right there at eye level, for all of Equestria to see.
>Its just like a mares but it could hold unknowable secrets.
>Tentacles could lie within that wrap around your stallionhood and prevent you escaping until this monstrous beast has had her way with you.
>And those spidery claws, she could rub your belly while you do it.
>You're not sure which fantasy is more lewd.
>Oh tartarus, think unsexy thoughts. Discord naked on a cold day, Discord naked on a cold day.
You guys remember that one story?
Something about a future with anon were they reversed engineered his stuff then all of a sudden it was a techno future.
Then the mane 6 became all recluse with each other.
Something about spaghetti in the mix too.
>>27605142
You have superior chicken taste, my friend.
How can Anon survive without ever tasting the 11 secret herbs and spices ever again?
>Be Anon innaQuestria
>Be depressed as fuck
"Le sigh."
>"What's got you all mopey and French, Anon?" asked Pinkie
"I will never again taste the absolute glory and perfection nor experience the morning-after bowel evacuation that is Kentucky Fried Chicken."
>"Wowie zowie. It must be delicious if it's got you down in the dumps like this. Can you remember what it tastes like?"
"Oh yeaaah..." you moan. "The hot, juicy chicken and that perfect blend of spices that just makes you wanna-"
>Suddenly Pinkie's tongue forcefully finds its way into your mouth.
>Try to pull away but she's holding your head tight.
>Eventually she lets you go and you fall back on your ass.
"Pinkie, what the fuck!"
>"Mmmm, that does taste good!" she cooed. "Be right back!"
>She zooms away.
>About three hours later, you had long left Sugarcube Corner and were sitting innaTreebrary.
>Pinkie shows up once again.
>"Hey Nonny! I got a present for you!"
"What is it Pink- *sniff sniff* No fucking way."
>Pinkie slaps a bucket of chicken on the table
>You are speechless as you slowly reach out and grab a thigh before taking a slow bite.
>It tastes EXACTLY like genuine KFC
>The golden, extra crispy gloriousness is too much for one man to handle and you break down into tears
"This is the greatest thing I have ever tasted."
>Pinkie hugs you and pats your back
>"Just let it all out, Nonny," she encourages. "And then stuff your belly full of Auntie Pinkie's fried chicken."
>Before you totally lose yourself and gorge on the food, a thought comes to mind and stops you
>Holy shit, Pinkie can literally tongue-fuck flavor out of your mind
>You set your thigh down and turn to Pinkie.
"Yo Pinks. Think you can whip up some of their mashed potatoes too?"
>Pinkies eye go half lidded and she sloppily licks her lips
>"Of course I can," she said in a sultry voice
"Tits."
>>27605331
>a wizard anon story that isn't garbage
Oh boy oh boy. I've always wanted one of these!
>>27605342
>femanon
Meh. Not my cup of tea. But I can forgive it because it the wizard one.
>>27605980
Slaw too.
>>27606767
>be Anon the spoiled bastard
>Pinkie's been making you all sorts of awesome Earth food
>except one
>you slam your fists on the table
"I WANT MY SLAW!"
>"YOU HAVE YUR SLAW, ANON!" yells Pinkie
"I WANT MY SLAW!"
>"YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, ANON!"
"I WANT MY SLAW!"
>"YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, ANON!"
>look down
>why yes, yes you did
"Shibby~"
>>27594280
So i tried to upload more of this story last night but i kept getting a bad gateway error, cant say i know what that means exactly but i'll try again tonight, posting this from my phone so i'm not exactly sure if the issue is resolved yet or not
>>27606988
>"You see, I was a man once like you, and I wrote for autists on a taiwanese stamp collecting forum, just like you."
>'But I don't wr-'
>"DON'TLOOKATME!"
>>27601711
You're wrong, of course. Nobody cares whether most of us live, die, or grow mushrooms on our asses. People are assholes.
>>27607060
>I wanted to be a princess too, you know. But then one day everything went horribly wrong!
>*boom*
>The point is, all of your dreams are doomed to become hideous implosions.
>>27606988
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPKpPFjPGAs
So is the whole old vanguard dead now?
What of;
>Pale
>Wuten
>Brainhorn
>Bastinator>shin>Sherman
>Sorc
>Chron
>>27607882
Brainhorn's alive and well. He just posts directly to FimFiction now. He lurks but doesn't post.
>>27607908
That's the same as being dead.
>>27607882
>Not mentioned.I was worried about my record for a sec with them spoilers.Also, howdy again
>>27607935
Well he asked. I just told him what's goin' on with Uncle B.
>>27607942
Shit dude, the list could be endless. I think I've still got the original picture of all the old writers drawn on one piece of paper.
>>27607954
>>27607998
You're my fucking nigga.
>>27607998
>>27608013
>AnonAligheri, Now that shit is old school.
>>27608013
>PonyGone
>FEELING THELOVE
>>27607882
You can't kill me, only I can kill me.
>>27607998
>mfw still have BettySpaghetti's pastebin bookmarked
>>27608040
Classic>shinposting
>>27608037
Damn, nice to see some old face around here. Other than Jffry of course.
>>27608023
Had an older, smaller one saved while talkins to g-g-ghost while hr drew it but a harddrive died. At least was able to recover a little.
>>27608047
Started a new story three days ago, senpai. This curse hasn't beaten me yet.
>>27608160
I aint no senpai, If I remember correctly almost everyone wrote better than I. I'm just glad that I decided to lurk as long as I did.
Had some real feels with some stories.
>>27608037
Kill yourself, then. I'll help, if you want.Death by cute, that is.
>>27608304
>>27608047
>Other than Jffry of course.
Well that's rude.
>>27605954
http://pastebin.com/u/bettyspaghetti
>>27608040
Even after they are long dead and some deleted their pastes I still have them
>>27608885
I still update, friendo.
>>27608023
I'm still mad that I missed his meltdown. I was on vacation and wasn't near a computer.
>Be Anon.
>Ponies don't know about Netflicks and chill.
>You know because Twilight is watching the documentary about some nature bullshit and gets mad if you try to start anything.
>That and she brought Spike along.
>Something tells you you're going to have to get the whiteboard out again to explain this to her.
>You never have this problem with Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie.
