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>>27499903
>PFFFFRPTHPT
>"N-no! Stop Anon! Th-this is indecent!"
>You keep blowing.
>"H-haaah!"
>Something hot hits the side of your face.
>Braeburn.jpeg
>You drop Soarin.
Tripfags in Equestria
Happy Memorial Day Weekend boys. I'll be posting something terrible shortly.
>>27499903
Someone should do a Halloween edit where Anon is taking a bite out of the pony.
>You unlock the door to your physician’s office and set down your bag with a heavy thud. It’s Friday, you remind yourself. You only have a few appointments scheduled for today, and then you can be completely done for the weekend. You can kick back, relax, and forget about this job for just a little while.
>Well, after you furiously beat off that is.
>You settle your thoughts and body briefly, then call out into the hallway.
“Er, Nurse Redheart?”
>The slender, pale face of your favorite nurse pops around the corner of the doorframe. She smiles brightly at you, and you force yourself to smile back. She’s the one comfy part of this job, even if you only get to see her on occasion.
“Yes doctor?” she says in that sweet, sweet voice of hers.
“I’m ready for my first patient, you can send them in whenever they get here.”
>She flashes you a gleaming, eyes-closed smile.
“Of course doctor!”
>Her face retreats around the doorframe once more. You watch after her, wishing she’d stay, pat your head gently, and tell you it’ll all be ok. That you can get through one more day, that you can hide your…”feelings” from your patients for just a little longer.
>You turn your attention down to the crotch of your pants. You glare at it disapprovingly.
“You better fucking behave today,” you tell it.
>It remains silent, and you hope it stays that way.
>Some people might say that you have the absolute best career in the world. You, however, are not one of those people.
>When folks go to med school, it’s generally for things like becoming a surgeon, a pediatrician, that dude who finally cures cancer. Once there, they find out what they’re good at or makes the most money for them, and they go with that. Well, you went to med school, all gung ho for world changing brilliance, and what are you good at?
>Looking at pussy.
(1/?)
>>27500135
>Hey, no one was less surprised than you, to be honest. You’d always said that you were a great connoisseur of porn, and knew a good pussy when you saw it. But to make it a job? At first that sounded pretty awesome. You’d make money from putting your fingers inside vaginas, touching labias, stroking vulvas. All in the name of medicine.
>But…then a funny thing happened.
>After about a week, you suddenly found that looking at porn didn’t do much for you anymore. You looked at pussies and…nothing happened. It started to feel like work. You could get it up just fine if you looked at tits. You could fuck anyone who came to you, and with a doctor’s salary, you got plenty of that. But you had to notice her legs. Her eyes. Her smile. Her personality. Gay things like that. Pussies just started being…boring.
>You’d thought that was a major problem, and then you came to Equestria.
>Buddy…you had no idea what problems really were.
>Once you’d gotten settled in, you’d sought out your old career, since you knew you were good at it. Sure, these were ponies, but the whole pussy thing couldn’t be that different, could it?
>Well, when you first looked upon a pony vagina as it laid back with its hooves in the stirrups (hah), you saw that it was like nothing you’d ever gazed upon before. The shape, the way it moved, the way it felt. It was completely different, completely new! And…well…your dick noticed that too.
>Now, even though months have passed, you still can’t help sporting an aching boner whenever a pony scoots down on the table to give you a look.
>It’s not fun.
>It’s not pleasant.
>Trying to be professional while you’re sweating bullets is something you’re not used to, and trying to make small talk and give directions is even worse! Even scrubs pants feel fucking tight, and they do absolutely nothing to hide your eagerness.
(2/?)
>>27500153
>You’re just lucky that no pony has asked why you hold not one, but several clip boards on your lap for every session.
>No. Being turned on for 8 hours a day, with no chance to get off, is torture. You were never into edging, and you’re certainly not into it now.
>But duty calls. And god help you, you’re going to answer it.
>The pussies demand it.
>You once again steady yourself mentally and wait for the dreaded sound of hoof-falls to make their way around the corner. Sure enough, after a few moments, they finally do.
>You do your best to smile reassuringly as an awkward-looking purplish mare tuns the corner. She’s got this dark hot-pink hair, and her cutie mark is a bunch of grapes with a strawberry on the side. She looks genuinely terrified to be there, which means you have to be slow, calm, and gentle with her. Which takes longer.
>Once again, it’s going to be torture.
“Hi there,” you say, extending a hand for her to shake. “I’m doctor Anon, good to meet you.”
>She shakes your hand.
“Hi, I’m Berry…"
>You check the chart.
"Says here you're coming in for a pelvic exam and an STD test. Is That correct?"
"Yep. So, do I just…” she glances nervously at the table and it’s odd looking hoof-rests. “Get…up there?”
>You nod, trying to keep the blush out of your cheeks. She’s already blushing, best you not be doing it as well.
>With a nod, she climbs up onto the table, lies down and, achingly slowly, inserts both her back hooves into the holders. You stare, spellbound as she does this, knowing that you can’t look away. She wiggles her rear as she gets better situated, then glances up at you around one of her ample flanks.
“Is…this ok?”
>You swallow hard as you pull on your gloves.
“C-could you scoot down a little?”
(3/?)
>>27500170
>At your request, she slides her body towards you on the table. Her legs part, and the prone squatting position delicately opens the folds of her marehood. Your mouth goes dry as you look upon it. It’s lilac colored, but the insides are a warm and inviting pink. Her clit seems to stare at you, glistening and moist, and to look back, unblinking. You’re caught up in the moment, and you feel a sudden pressure against the clip boards in your lap as you wheel your stool over to her.
“Er…everything alright?” you hear her ask.
>Crap, you’ve been sitting here in silence for too long.
“Yes of course, you’re doing fine,” you say, trying to sound confident, “There’s no need to worry or feel self conscious, I’m a professional.”
>Your voice cracks on the word “professional.” She doesn’t seem to notice.
“Move down just a little more,” you instruct, as you get ever closer.
>She slides down a little. She blooms like an opening rose. You feel a surging throb of blood as your dick again insists that inside that pussy is where you need to be. It looks so inviting, so warm, so wet. You can’t look away.
“Like that?” she calls.
“Oh yeah baby, just like that.”
“What?”
“Oh! Uh…yes, just like that,” you quickly stutter out.
>Damn you, have a little more control next time. Too much of that and you’ll get fired.
>You reach out a trembling hand, which you quickly steady, and touch the soft lip of one side of her vulva. There’s a small bruise here, not the concerning kind, but definitely a noticeable one.
“You have a bit of swelling and bruising,” you say as calmly as you can. “Miss Berry, have you been sexually active in the last few days?”
>She’s silent for a moment, and you see her opening tighten imperceptibly at your words.
“W-well,” she says slowly.
“It’s alright, I’ll keep anything you say confidential.”
(4/?)
>>27500181
“Then…yes, I have,” she says in a sudden rush. “He’s a new partner and, and he’s a bit of an unusual case, not anything I’m used to, and well…we weren’t exactly gentle, so I can see why there might be some bruising down there. It was a little rough…oh, not that I’m complaining, it just…makes sense.”
>Her pussy twitches as she mentions how rough it was.
>Hyyyyngh…
“Ah,” you say, trying to keep the squeak out of your voice. “Well, try to be a little more gentle next time, ok?”
>She laughs.
“I can’t promise you anything there,” she says.
>Oh god, this pony is going to be the death of you.
>You push down against the clipboards, trying to make your straining dick behave.
“Ok, I’m just going to…check inside, so you might feel a little pressure.”
>You gingerly slide one of your fingers into her opening, and feel the way the soft tightness of it wraps around you. Her body flinches inside at the sudden intrusion, and you suppress a moan of wanting. Sweat is already rolling thickly down your face, and you can feel swamp-pit threatening your underarms.
“Y-yep, everything feels fine,” you say. “You’re…very tense right now though, could you relax a little?”
“Sure, I’ll try.”
>Her grip on your finger lets up. But only a little.
>God how is she still so tight. She whimpers a little, and it’s all you can do not to spurt precum all over the front of your pants.
>At this point you could bring out the speculum, get a good look, but you don’t think you can take it this time. Just a quick swab to test for any STDs, and that’s it.
>You slowly withdraw your finger, hating how much you love the wet shlick sound of it sliding out of her. Her pussy winks once and closes gently again as you exit, and you swallow the lust full groan threatening to escape your throat.
(5/?)
>>27500192
“Ok, everything looks good,” you say quickly. “Just going to swab you so you can get tested for any STDs, and remember to have safe sex with your new partner, ok?”
>You insert the swab, move it circularly twice, then withdraw it and put it into a sterile plastic tube for testing. You try your best to focus on that tube rather than the beautifully haunting image of Berry’s marehood as she straightens up on the table a little.
“Thanks doc,” you hear her say as she climbs down.
“Of course, come back and see us any time. You can call for your results tomorrow.”
>You flinch as you feel her hoof on your shoulder.
“And doc?”
>You turn to glance over your shoulder, and find her blushing deeply, all the way to the tips of her ears. She glances away sheepishly, her eyelashes fluttering.
“Thanks for being so gentle,” she says softly.
>She quickly trots to the door before you can respond and exits.
>You collapse back against the wall, your stool almost rolling out from under you as you do. Your cock is almost trembling with how hot that all was. You feel like you’ve just done something distinctly sexual, and you can’t even react to it like a normal person would.
>It hurts, genuinely hurts, now, and all you want to do is get some kind of release.
>You throw a quick glance at the clock. Maybe there’s still time before your next appointment. Maybe you can-
“Doctor Anon, your next appointment is here!” you hear Nurse Redheart call from the other room.
>Fuck. You haven’t even had enough time for the swelling to go down! And now you’ll have to look at another wet, savory, inviting…
“S-send them in,” you call back to her.
>Someday this job is going to kill you.
——
>One more appointment. You repeat it to yourself over and over again as your most recent patient exits your office.
(6/?)
>>27500208
>You’ve been through seven pelvic exams, and now that’s all you have to get through, just one more. Then you can go home, take off and who knows, maybe burn these pants, and release a day’s worth of tortuous ejaculate. You’ve certainly fucking earned it.
>You glance at your appointment clip board and find you don’t recognize the name. Oh well, you’re sure it’ll be just as teasing as all the others you’ve seen today.
“Nurse?” you call to the other room.
“Yes doctor?”
“You can send in the last mare.”
“…right away, doctor.”
>Something about the hesitance in her voice sets you ill at ease, but you do your best to focus on the task at hand. One more patient, then you can go home and take care of business. The business being your dick.
>You hear the sound of hoof falls on linoleum as your patient approaches. You prep your usual, comforting doctor’s smile and face the door from your stool, ready for…
>A small green figure stands in the doorway, smiling at you. She’s much shorter than the other ponies, and her white hair is pulled back into a messy little bun. A red polka-dotted shawl or maybe handkerchief is looped around her neck, and one wiry hair spirals out of her forehead to dangle in front of her face. Her hip proudly displays the image of a pie, and you’d guess right away she’s part of the Apple clan.
>The other prominent thing you notice about her is that she’s old. Like…really old. You’ve never seen a pony quite this ancient around Ponyville before. Her lower jaw trembles as wrinkly lips crease into a smile. Her wizened eyelids slide heavily and unwillingly down over orange eyes as she blinks at you. And her back legs knock against each other, just as she stands, and you’re kind of afraid she’ll collapse right there in front of you.
>You blink at her and she blinks back at you for a moment as you take her in.
(7/?)
>>27500214
>Ok…so…this old mare needs a pelvic exam, right? That’s…unpleasant. But hey, you tell yourself, at least this might be a welcome reprieve from the arousal you’ve felt all day. And you’ve looked at old lady pussy before, it’s no big deal.
>Then a horrifying thought hits you and you suck in a short, uncomfortable breath.
>What if you’re turned on anyway? What if old pony pussy STILL gets you all hot and bothered? Then you’ll know there’s no farther to fall. Then you’ll know there’s no escape from this curse except maybe death or a career change into poverty.
>You have to just pray that you don’t get a boner. That’s what you have to focus on.
>You force out the customary smile.
“Well hello there miss…Smith,” you say, glancing at the clipboard.
>You extend a hand and she teeters forward to take it. You’re surprised by the strength in her grip as she grips your palm with her hoof and shakes it vigorously.
“Well howdy!” she claims in a cracking but enthusiastic voice. “Just call me Granny. Hooooo-ey! If you’re not the cutest little doctor I ever seen!”
>You blush at the unexpected and rather eager sounding compliment.
“Er…thank you,” you say slowly.
>You remove your hand from her and she beams up at you. You give another glance to the clipboard and confirm what you know has to be the case.
“So, you’re here for a pelvic exam?”
“Why I sure am!” she exclaims. “I havne’t had nothin’ down there a long while and I figured it was high time I got everything down there stirred up a bit to make sure I’m healthy and all that. Bit hard for me to reach down there or see myself ye know.”
>Well that’s a weird way of putting it all, but you suppose it’s all factual information at least. You gesture to the table.
“Alright, well hop on up there and let’s give everything a look.”
(8/?)
>>27500232
>You realize that hopping up might be a little difficult for her. As she tries to climb onto the table, you reach out to support her hooves and flanks to help her maintain balance.
>She jumps at your touch, then blushes and playfully swats your arm.
“Oooh, an eager one are we?” she says slyly.
>Again, weird, but you suppose you are eager to get out of here. Maybe it’s showing through your expressions or hastiness to get her onto the table.
>She manages to climb up, and then you see her glance between the stirrups in bewilderment.
“What in the blazes are these fer?”
“Well,” you explain clearly and slowly, just in case she’s hard of hearing. “You put your back hooves in those, then face your rear towards me.”
“On my back?”
“Yes. And you scoot down until your rear is right at the edge of the table. It’ll give me a better look at everything that way.”
>She raises one bushy white eyebrow at you.
“Seems kinda new fangled,” she says, scratching her chin. “But if that’s how you kids do it, I suppose I’m game.
>She plops both her hooves down into the stirrups as you turn to get on a new pair of rubber gloves. You snap them tight, and take a slow breath. Just remember, try not to get a boner. If you get a boner then you’ll never…
>You turn to face the old mare, and freeze.
>Well, you certainly don’t have a boner. In fact, you feel like it may have inverted itself. Like a deer caught in the headlights, you stare at her pussy, and it inexplicably stares back.
>Before you sits a vertical slit, almost like any normal horse pussy, except this one looks like it’s…wilting. You’re reminded of the look of a pear, sliced in half and left to rot. Or perhaps a pair of drapes that have grown faded, wrinkled, and dusty with age. There are thin white hairs lining the outside, and the inner lips are a strange shade of beige, like they were once green but forgot what the color actually looked like.
(9/?)
>>27500253
>It also seems to droop at the base, like it’s trying to fall out of itself. You can’t help think of what a scrunchy looks like when the elastic finally starts to fail. It’s also shimmering with an off-white, mostly clear fluid.
>You’re not sure how long you sit there, staring at the ancient vagina, but at last you come back to yourself.
>This is a good thing. No boner. No arousal. You’ve looked at some gross pussies before…well, not this gross but pretty gross. You’re a professional. You can do this.
>You move towards her, and a soft musky aroma wafts to your nostrils. It smells like stale cinnamon toast crunch cereal. You suddenly find that you have no desire to touch it, as if it might somehow come alive and assault you. But you have to. Just get it over with and go home.
>You take your gloved hand and gently touch the outer lips with your fingertips, and find they give underneath your touch like undercooked brownie batter. You’re almost afraid they’ll fall off.
“H-have you had any sexual activity recently?” you manage to ask, even though you can see it’s a no.
“Nope!” she exclaims.
>She sounds a little happy, and the saggy folds of skin around her labia quiver as she speaks. You withdraw your fingers sharply as if you’ve been shocked.
>Come on, Anon. This is what you’ve trained for.
>You gently pull back a layer of outer lips, and find a powdery white residue there. Almost like parmesan cheese. You blink at it, repulsed, but know what your next move is. You grab a swab and daintily brush at the stuff to remove it. It forms small puffs of white cloud with each stroke. You realize, with horror, that it’s dust.
“Just…cleaning some things up to get a better look,” you mumble.
“Mnh, you go right ahead darlin’.”
>A shudder involuntarily runs through your entire body. Usually you’re good at the small talk thing, even with a boner, but right now it just feels wrong.
(10/?)
>>27500271
>You continue your inspection, finding no bruising, but a lot of discoloration. You didn’t even know some of these shades of green existed. She whimpers softly as you brush one of the more inner folds, and giggles like she’s been tickled. The tremor you feel through her flesh makes you feel a little sick inside.
>You realize it’s time for you to inspect the inside. You take a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
“Ok,” you tell her, I need you to scoot down a little more, and then you’re going to feel some pressure inside, ok?”
“Al-righty!” she says happily.
>Then she wiggles herself down towards you.
>…
>You know what it looks like when you first cut a grilled cheese sandwich, and then you pull the two halves apart? Yeah, it looks like that. You’re not sure what the orange stringy stuff is that’s stretching between her lips, but as her pussy spreads open, you can see how thick and globulous it is.
>The image of that grilled cheese sandwich sticks firmly in your mind, but by the smell, you imagine it would have to be made with Bleu instead of cheddar.
>You suppress a roll of nausea. Ok, now you really don’t want to reach in there. Just one finger, really quick, then you can burn these gloves.
>You slowly bring your index finger up to her gaping, gray-pink opening and press it inside. A sound like someone pushing their whole fist into a jar of mayonnaise resonates in your small office. Through your gloves, you can feel a cold liquid sensation coating your finger.
>Dear god, why is it cold?
>Drips of clear and orange mixed together work their way up to nestle between your first and second knuckle, against the meeting spot of your fingers. As you move, you feel it slide there, slippery and thick. It feels almost like it’s spreading with a mind of its own, trying to envelop your hand.
(11/?)
>>27500288
>Hating every sensation, you curl your finger to each side, feeling for abnormalities. Instead, you just feel thick liquid. Some of it even feel a little…chunky. The old mare wiggles her hips a little.
“Heavens to betsy,” she says dreamily. “Haven’t felt anything like that in decades. Ye must be pretty good at your job.”
>God you wish she was wrong.
“Th-thanks,” you say.
>Her opening tightens around you briefly, as if trying to suck you in further, then releases. You see a large slimy nub, like a snail without its shell, opening up at you, then closing again. It’s mottled in color, and you can see veins across it. It looks…like an alien trying to emerge from an egg. It's her clit, you realize.
>Is she…is she winking at you?
>“Ok,” you say hastily, “That’s about it, everything seems-“
“Now hold on there!” she says, a little indignantly you think, “I paid a pretty penny for this appointment, and I intend to get the full benefit! Ye gotta get way back in there!”
>With no warning, she reaches down, surprisingly spryly for her age, and grabs the hand that’s still partially against her pussy. Before you can protest, she plunges it into her weeping gash, all the way up to your forearm. The sound this makes is reminiscent of when you’re removing vital organs from a recently slaughtered deer.
>You let out a cry of disgust and anguish and try to jerk back, but she holds you fast inside her. You can feel flesh ridges on the inside undulating against your bare flesh now, and feel the sticky, thick fluids seeping into the sleeve of your coat. The smell is unmistakable, and you can sense that it’s staining your skin. Maybe permanently.
>Now you’ll always smell like week-old lasagna.
>Oh god, this old-lady pussy is trying to eat you!
>The old mare lets out a warbling moan, like some sort of yodeler, and her walls clamp down on you.
(12/?)
>>27500307
>You feel her twitching, writhing, moving herself forward and back against your arm like a living dildo. The juices begin to spatter, and you feel wet bits of them impact your face. Vomit rises into your mouth, but your screaming keeps it down.
“MISS SMITH!” you shriek. “What the fuck are you doing??”
>She moans a little louder, but between vaginal contractions, you sense your moment.
>With a jerk, you drag your arm back out of her. A rush of gooey globs of orange and transparent beige gush forth, trickling onto the table and floor afterwards. You don’t even have the heart to look at what color your arm is.
>The old mare blinks at you, seeming a bit annoyed.
“Hey, I’m a payin’ customer, what’s the problem sonny?”
>You try to put all this together in your head, try to make sense of what’s going on. But it just can’t come together, it doesn’t…
>Wait.
>As you speak the next words, you feel a sense of dread spreading over you.
“Miss Smith,” you say slowly. “What did you think you were paying for?”
>She shrugs her wizened shoulders.
“I figured it was one of those massage parlor deals. I pay you to touch my downstairs drawers, you give me a nice little cleaning out, and you make me feel like a young lady again. You were doin a derned fine job too if you don’t mind me-“
“This is a doctor’s office!” you practically scream. “This is a medical procedure, I’m not here to…to…pleasure you!”
>She blinks at you, seeming dumbfounded, then shrugs once more.
“Well why didn’t you say so! Heck, I’ll just go bother that little dragon Twilight’s got again. He’s pretty fun after you slip him enough horse tranquilizer.”
>And before you can say another word, she hops off the table, gives you a nod of her head and a wink, and exits your office.
(13/14)
>>27500320
>You’re trembling all over, and you feel yourself gagging at the stains and smell still filling the room. The sticky sensation of sweat and fluids make your face feel slick, and your coat is…oh god, your arm.
>With slow, creeping horror, you look down at your arm. Maybe it’s not that bad. It can’t be that bad, there’s no way. Your eyes finally rest on the scene of the crime and…
>Finally, you can no longer suppress the vomit.
——
>You lock up your office and give a nod to your nurse.
>The office is actually looking pretty nice right now, but you're glad to be going home for the day. It took weeks of cleaning, but you’ve finally gotten the place to stop smelling like ancient cottage cheese. Other damage has been harder to repair, but at least that’s a start.
“Goodnight doctor!” your nurse calls. Then she adds “Oh, I was thinking of heading out for a drink this evening, care to join me?”
>You smile kindly at her, but shake your head.
“Appreciate the offer, but I sort of have a date.”
>As if on cue, the large red form of your date for tonight rounds the corner. You smile at him, and he smiles back.
“Oh, hey you,” you say brightly. “Meet you outside?”
“Eyup!” he says.
>You give each other a knowing look, then you watch as his swaying rear exits the building. You turn back to find your nurse looking at you in shock. Her mouth hangs open a little, and she shakes her head in disbelief.
“Oh, I’m sorry doctor,” she says, suddenly noticing your incredulous gaze. “I just didn’t realize you were…er…into stallions.”
>You shrug and give a defeated sigh.
“Oh, it’s…a recent development,” you say haltingly. “I’ve found that, well…”
>You give a mournful look to your office, and a shudder passes over your body.
“I’m just not into the female anatomy anymore.”
-End-
http://pastebin.com/21M9PVFB
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/331087/spreading-the-love
(14/14)
>>27500359
Granny Smith is a weapon of mass destruction.
>>27500062
But it's summertime
>>27500428
Love it. And now I want watermelon.
>>27500468
>>27500428
Watermelon is a controlled narcotic in Equestria. Anon better be careful if he wants to keep the ponice away from his stash.
>>27500428
Ponies are made of watermelon. BlackAnon is a mass murderer.
>>27499990
I don't get it. He jizz in your face?
>>27499348
>innaA&W with pony
>shoveling cheese curds into your faces and guzzling down root beer from the tap
>neither of you say anything
>you don't have to
>God Bless Wisconsin
Continued from http://pastebin.com/UfS2P9td Anon and Discord
>-------The next morning---------
>"Oh my god!"
>You wake up and clutch at your head. Yep that's a hangover.
>May have gone a little overboard last night, worth it though.
>You're pretty sure that around the 15th or 20th drink you accepted the dick into your life and your butt.
>Looking back through the murky clarity of a hangover, the last week was kinda like that five stages of grief thing.
>Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Ok maybe not precisely then.
>More like freak out, anger, drunk, drunk, acceptance. But hey if it works, it works.
>Your feet are cold.
>Please wait for hangover.exe to end before processing surroundings...
>Pony bed, purple sheets, books, carved wood. Yep you're in Twilights place.
>She must have intercepted you as stumbled home.
>"TWILIGHT YOU IN HERE!"
>"I'M OUTSIDE ANON! CAN YOU COME OUT HERE!"
>Oh shit. Five bucks says it's the ponice. Just like last time.
>Groaning you stumble down the stairs and make your way outside. Only to be greeted by what looks like a formation of ponies.
>Twilight, Rarity, Appledyke and some other pony with a cowboy hat are standing in front of it.
>What in the- Oh no, they're going to sing a song about not getting drunk at you. That's all your hangover needs right now.
>"Twilight, are you-"
>"Anon, before you say anything. This is Caramel."
>She points at the cowboy pony that isn't a dyke.
>"He knows what you going through and he'd like to reassure you about it."
>Music begins out of nowhere. Too late, it's song time.
>Sighing heavily you just let them get on with it.
>>27500832
>"It's okay to be gay"
>"Snuggling with your coltfriend will make your day"
>"It's okay to be gay"
>"Snuggling with your coltfriend will make your day"
>"You won't need mare tits,"
>"When you coltfriend grabs your dick you'll feel a million bits."
>What the flying fuck.
>The ponies cease the chorus and Caramel stand forward to do a solo.
>"I was down the dumps, life was giving me lumps."
>"My parents were mad because mares don't make my dick jump."
>"I didn't want foals or fillies, in fact they gave me willies."
>"But then I met Doc Clock and he makes me feel great with his cock."
>Only the dead can know peace from this musical.
>"It's okay to be gay"
>"Snuggling with your coltfriend will make your day"
>"It's okay to be gay"
>"Snuggling with your coltfriend will make your day"
>"You won't need mare tits,"
>"When you coltfriend grabs your dick you'll feel a million bits."
>>27500846
This story got really gay and really unfunny really fast. It's not even He Man anymore.
>>27500846
>You feel an arm around your shoulder and hear a familiar voice.
>"It seems I'm not the only having trouble adapting."
>"Discord."
>"Who else?"
>Discord nuzzles the side of your head.
>"What were you having trouble with?"
>"Well as a creature of chaos, I'm a bit, shall we say, allergic to more static concepts like c- co- co-. Fluttershy if you would be a dear?"
>"Commitment"
>How did you Flutterbutter escape the song, you must know these secrets.
>"Thank you. Yes the C word. And it's nice to know I'm not the only one having trouble with C words."
>Discord shoots you a grin that would make the Joker proud.
>Sighing, you put your arm around Discord and pull him closer as the ponies continue their song of faggotry.
>"Yes. Yes I did."
I might continue with a wedding if I can think up a decent storyline for it.
>>27500865
Do you have any idea how gay He Man was?
>>27500786
it waspee
>>27500915
Gross.
>>27500908https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5LpwO-An4Daily dose
>>27500908
He was also a manly man and not some twinky little faggot.
>>27500943
Anon is a manly man. He manly takes that dick up the ass without crying or anything.
Question: Is PeteQ dead? I don't have much time to read anymore, but I really enjoyed all of his stories.
>>27500964
He's a fuckin' faggot. This story sucks. Drop the gay shit and go back to the belligerent manly shenanigans because that was funny. I skip parts hoping it'd come back to its roots but it just keeps degenerating further and further.
>>27501018
If you don't like it write your own damn story.
>>27501030
Don't tell me what to do.
>>27500135
Oh boy, anonpencil is posting. This is going to get weird.
>>27500359
It got weird.
>>27501018
>>27500468
I miss Pat & Rat
>>27501987
I think everybody does.
>>27501987
>>27502000
Who? Where they a couple or something?
>>27502025
A writefag and an art fag.
>a couple
...you know, I'm fine with that being an accepted idea. Sure. Yes. Pat and Rat. That sounds...
Not at all terrifying.
>AiE and PiE merged
>A shit ton of other AiE-driven threads seemed to have popped up
So what's good, AiE? Any recent (new)stories that are interesting?
>>27502047
>obese black dude and skinny greasy asian chick makin' fug
Hysterical.
>>27500823
>Wisconsin
Ew.
>>27502499
B-but muh cheese
What's up with the thread archive in the 'AIE Master List' thing? Is there another link that works?
I heard you guys like to give Anon a magic immunity. That's pretty lame and dumb
>>27503513
Which?
>>27503640
y-you too
>>27503854
Oh wait I see. Yeah, that's not been a thing for a long while.
Go down a few lines inna OP and you'll see a link to them all.
>>27503640
Oh lawdie is that specialneeds?
I thought he choked on legos or something.
>>27503640
Pfft, that was old AiE. We're all about magic constipation now.
>>27503011
Muh beer battered cheddarwurst.
>>27503640
Well after someone (Aether?) wrote a fight club story where Anon gets ragdolled by a pair of unicorns, it was pretty much decided that that was the gayest shit I've ever seen.
>>27504876
mmmmmmmmmmmm
>>27504957
Fuck yeah, son. Three things Wisky does best all wrapped in one awesome package. Got 'em all marinating for the grill tomorrow.
>>27504988Shit, you too? Has a couple rib slabs, shitton of kebabers and brats, cheesed and regular, and wotnot allready inn the fridge
>>27505382
We should party.
__________
Past midnight. I'm doin' it.
>Memorial Day on Earth
>pony following y'all and learning about the holiday
>went to parade and memorial service at WWII memorial building
>now at BBQ at your grandma's house
>"Anon, why is everyone so sad?" asks pony
"It's all about remembering and giving thanks for those that died to give us the freedoms we have today," you say. It's usually a sad day."
>"Oh," replied pony ashamedly. "Freedoms like what?" asked pony
"Like this," you quickly say as you pull your pistol from your belt and fire it into the nearest cornfield
"WOO!"
>rest of family follows suit
>give gun to pony and cover their ears for them
>"Weee!" cheers pony
>later
>turn down the Aaron Tippin and raise your glass
>you pass pony a shot of whiskey
"Too grandpa," you toast. "May he rest in piece."
>"Amen," says family as everyone downs their respective beverages
>pony hacks and coughs at the drink
"Alright, y'all! Food's ready!" you holler
>pony is front and center with styrofoam plate
"Burger, dog, or brat?"
>"Uh... Potato salad and chips?" asks pony
"Knock yourself out."
>pony gleefully trots off to the food table
>you eventually join 'em as you sit to eat
>"This is fun," says pony
"Just wait until Veteran's day comes rolling around. Free Golden Corral!"
>"What's that?"
>entire family stops and stares at pony
>you pat ponys head
"Hey don't worry about it. We'll make you an American yet."
>today was a freedomtastic day
>>27503917
Thanks. I skimmed right past that because it was in greentext
>>27499903
Hey Malous, any news of the force in harmony story? I like it a lot but I can't find any new updates
>>27506717
You monster.
>>27506253
tl;dr dialogue is a huge pain to write.
Also I got a smallish update out for may 4th.
>>27499903
How am I supposed to find the thread when it looks like Homohorse in the OP?
>>27507105
>searching for the thread by picture
Maybe look at the title next time, senpai
>>27507115
But I can't read...
>>27500359
I liked it anon. It was a fun little story. Do more.
>>27507121
So get ur pone to read it out loud for you.
>>27507143
I would but it's Memorial Day. All offices that matter are closed.
>>27505659
murrica/10
PLEASE ANONS
THE PINK ONE
THAT ONE WITH THE BALLONS AND COTTON CADY MANE
I'm just looking for good old school romance with Pinkie. Most of the time shes a gag character.
Does anyone know of some green featureing a decent story between anon and Pinkie?
I'd apreaciate it a lot
>>27507996
There was one I really liked but for the life of me I can't remember who did it now.
If I do I'll link it.
Why is there an active list in the OP when its last entry was in March? aka. active list not being maintained
I guess the master list is hella outdated as well? Just as all the other lists?
>>27508451
>implying anything's been written since march
>>27507290
even Burger King?
>>27508451
Who handles that these days? 8th? Does someone need to holler at him?
>>27510174
You have to be patient. It happens on full moons, but not every full moon. It's his version of menstruating.
>>27510325
Great, more moon things to wait for
>After about a minute or two of cuddles, which were filled with just the right amount of nuzzling and cuddling, Luna climbed off of you
>True to her word, she had hunkered down and licked you clean of her cum, though she had summoned up a warm wet rag to clean off your ding-a-ling and balls
>Which was fine with you since ass-to-mouth was in no way one of your fetishes
>That shit's gross yo
>It took a while--Luna seemed to enjoy licking off her own cum a heck of a lot more than she had Chrysalis's-- but eventually you were squeaky clean
>And tired
>REALLY fucking fired
>If you were tuckered out after what Chrysalis had done to you you were EXHAUSTED now
>Every inch of you was sore, everything hurt, you were tired and you were hungry enough to eat a horse
>And you didn't mean that in a sexual way; if someone had dropped a whole cooked equine in front of you shit would have gone down
>The princesses/queens seemed to notice that you were temporarily down for the count, since neither Princess Celestia nor Nightmare Moon demanded that they go next
>Instead the princesses/queens surrounded you with the intent of curing your Bo-Bos and Owies
>...Those are Cadence's words, not yours...
>Twilight summoned up a bottle of water and a couple peanut butter sandwiches, Cadence was using her magic to massage your aching muscles, even Nightmare Moon used her magic to gently pull your dress shirt and jacket off so she could towel you down with a wet rag
>It was nice
>These were nice horses and you appreciated it, thanking them with pets and ear scratches
>As you were being taken care of you noticed something
>No one was giving anyone else angry looks
>The alicorns/changeling/whatever the fuck Nightmare Moon is seemed completely relaxed around each other
>>27510664
>Twilight and Nightmare Moon were chatting to each other, Chrysalis was playfully squealing and slapping Luna away with a towel as the Princess of the Night tried to lick your cum off her bottom, Princess Celestia even thanked both of the queens whenever they passed her something or did this or that for her
>Though the other elements STILL hadn't appeared, the lazy fucks, it looked like they weren't going to be needed
>Sisterhood and friendship was in the air now
>You had united these mares under a butt-themed banner
>Released the tension through interaction with their southern regions
>You had sexed the crazy out of them if you will
>You couldn't help but smile at the thought, reaching over to mussing up Twilight's mane
>The littlest princess giggled as she fed you another sandwich
>Goodfeelsman
>Your eyes began to flutter close from all of the tender pampering
>You weren't going to go to sleep; you were just resting your eyes
>Yep, just resting your eyes...
>It seemed like it was for only a moment, but when you opened your eyes again the sun was hanging a little lower in the sky
>The princesses/queens were a little ways away, chatting on those beanbag chair things that ponies seemed so fond of
>"Ah, it seems like our judge is finally awake," Nightmare Moon said without looking at you
>The rest of the royalty look over at you as you sat up in your chair with a groan
"How long was I out?" you asked, rubbing an eye
>"An hour or so," Nightmare responded, her snake-like eyes finally settling on you
"Really? Well, I'm sorry about that."
>"No apologies are necessary, Anonymous," Luna said with a wave of the hoof. "In fact I am surprised that you didn't sleep longer; none of us have been exactly gentle with you."
>Celestia nodded
>"Maybe you should go back to sleep for a little longer, Anon dear."
>Shaking your head, you rolled your shoulders and twisted your body
>A satisfied groan escaped your lips as dozens of bones popped
>Ahhhhhoooowwwwwww
>>27510676
>Fucking hell that hurt...
"I appreciate the concern but I think I'm good. I can keep going."
>Setting down her tea cup--they were drinking tea while you were out? Where in the hell did they get all of the stuff for it?-- Princess Celestia frowned
>"Now Anon, there's no need to keep up appearances if you--"
>"Alright, if you say that you are fit to continue then we shall continue," Nightmare interrupted, setting her own tea cup down and standing up
>Celestia balked as she and the other royals stood up
>"There's no way that Anonymous is fit--"
>"If you think that the human still isn't in a state to continue our "competition" then why don't you go first?" Chrysalis interrupted with a grin. "You can be as gentle with him as you want and get him ready for Nightmare."
>Celestia's nose scrunched up
>She looked over at Luna, who shrugged
>"I cannot see a fault with her logic, sister," she said, a wolfish grin coming to her face
>Celestia snorted
>"Oh I'm sure you don't," she muttered, her eyes drifting over to you
>"Unlike my associate over there I have no qualms with having two of you alicorns going in a row," Nightmare said. "You may go if you so wish."
>Celestia looked around at her fellow demi-gods, all of whom just smiled knowing smiles at her
>...
>Something was going on here...
>Something flash across Celestia's face as she stood up, something you weren't quite able to catch
>"Fine," Celestia said after a moment. "I WILL go next if everypony's fine with that."
>"We are, sister," Luna said, nudging her sister with a wing. "Now go; a pleasant surprise awaits you."
>You had chosen to stay quiet through... whatever this was, your hands in your lap like a good boy
>Personally, you could care less who went next
>An ass was an ass; as long as some fun was had it didn't matter who the butt was attached to
>Though, as she made her way toward you, you could tell that this next ass was going to be a pretty good one
>>27510686
>Celestia was the biggest little pone that there was
>She towered over all of the other princesses; even her sister was shorter than her by a head
>YOU might have been bigger than her but even with you it was a close thing
>And that size of hers did nothing to take away from Celestia's beauty; just like with the other princesses she was absolutely jaw-dropping
>A fantastic figure, a one-in-a-million grace and charm and a pair of pinkish-purplish eyes that you could lose yourself in
>But what REALLY caught your eye, what REALLY made your willy twitch underneath your hands, was the princess's flank
>Just like Celestia herself it was big
>Bigger than the flab of mass that Mrs. Cake's ass had been
>Bigger than the biggest earth pony ass that you had seen today
>Bigger than every alicorn here
>Bigger than even Chrysalis's butt after she had gorged herself on your love
>You could see it swaying side-to-side as Celestia made her way toward you, perfectly proportioned with her bigness
>You licked your lips
>Oh...Oh this was going to be a good one...
>Celestia, with all of the grace that befitted one of her position, made her way over to you with measured steps
>With each step she took you could feel yourself getting smaller and smaller as her... AURA began to surround you
>This was the top dog of Equestria, the queen amongest princesses, making her way toward you
>And you were about to touch her butt
>...
>fuck yeah...
>In no time at all the princess was standing not a foot away from you, a gentle smile on her face
>"You are very brave, my little human," she said, inclining her head
>Her nose scrunched up slightly
>"Though your... methods are questionable you have my most heartfelt thanks for stopping the destruction of Ponyville."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Princess," you said with a little shrug and a smile. "I'm just a guy trying to finish up his competition."
>The princess's smile widened, her eyes twinkling
>>27510694
>"Well, even still, you have my thanks," she said, leaning in to nuzzle your cheek. "If it wasn't for you we all might be standing in ruins."
>Aw shucks
>This filly was gonna have you blushing and shit...
>Celestia drew away from you, the smile on her face becoming a bit... nervous
>Nervous and... something else...
>"While I'd like you to get a little more rest I understand your desire to get this over and done with."
>...Sure
>Let's go with that
>She slowly turned around
>"I assure you that I will do my very best to blah blah blah blah--"
>Since the beginning of this royal Ass-Off the sky had been cloudy
>But, as Celestia turned around and flicked her tail out of the way, a section of clouds broke
>A ray of sun came down and landed on Celestia's backside
>Your eyes widened, and before god and all of his creation you swore that you could hear angels singing
>The Princess of the sun was wearing a g-string that was three sizes too small for her
>The string, more floss than string really, that was supposed to cover up her privates was been swallowed up by her ass cheeks, so it did fuck all
>You could see everything
>You could see that sweet, sweet ponut
>You could see those soft lips that showed just a hint of pink underneath
>You could see the wetness of the princess's excitement in between her cheeks and on her inner thighs
>"Blah blah blah blah blah, words words words--"
>You thought for all of the world that Celestia would be the most conservative princess out of anyone here except Cadence, but it looked like the Princess of the Sun had a bit of a risque streak in her
>"Words, sentences, pap--epp!"
>Celestia's flank tensed as you rubbed your thumb up against her marehood
>Her cheeks clapped together, her flank rippling and gyrating
>Oh lawdy...
>You were gonna play with yourself to that sound in the near future...
>"A-Anonymous!"
>There were tears of joy in your eyes as you pulled your hand away, popping your thumb into your mouth
>>27510703
>She hissed as you tugged at her fur with your teeth
>--I'll have you know that my intentions have and will always be pure."
>You twitched as you felt something stroking your cock
>Your eyes darted away from her rump to the princess's face
>She still had that gentle smile on her face, but you could see the tip of her horn glowing
>"When I got your invitation I was forced to scramble and borrow a pair of--"
>Celestia bit her lip as you stuck your cum-drenched fingers into your mouth, not breaking eye contact with her as you began sucking on them
>"--A p-pair of panties from a dear friend of mine."
>That liar
>Even though these were too small they were still too big for most of the popula--
>A grunt escaped your throat as you felt a tongue-like sensation on your balls
>Celestia leaned back, burying your face in between her mounds, rubbing your nose against her mound before she drew away
>She let out a little giggle when she saw the look on your face, her calm, collect, majestic expression giving way to an erotically playful one
>"I, of course, was horrified with the garment that she provided for me, but because I did not wish to--"
>You tried to dive back in between her cheeks tongue first but Celestia leaned away
>Her horn lit up just a little more, and the stroking that you cock was receiving turned into what, for all the world, felt like a blowjob, with a dozen tongues servicing you at once
>You squirmed at the sensation as the princess gently pushed up into your chair with a wing
>Giving her rump one last wonderful, wonderful wiggle, she turned around and hopped into your lap
>"I d-did not wish to hurt her feelings so I decided to wear them."
>Your breath hitched in your throat as her cheeks swallowed up your cock, your eyes widsdifbaldbbahsd!
>"Believe not a word that she says, Anonymous!" Luna called. "Though she hides it well my dear sister is a deviant beyond measure!"
>Celestia wiggled her hips a bit to get more "comfortable" in your lap
>>27510713
>slfiuhcsfbsdblj!
>Her rump seemed to smother your lower body, muscle and fat and perfectly silky smooth fur embracing you in ways that you've ever before experienced
>You gasped as Celestia wiggled her bottom again, a spurt of cum firing between those heavenly cheeks of hers
>"Now don't you go believing a word that my silly little sister says, Anon," Celestia told you, leaning forward to give you a chaste kiss on the nose. "I am nothing but a gentlemare to every stallion that I meet."
>Your fingers tickled the princess's rump a bit before they found themselves just above her hips
>Celestia trembled at your touch, her massive white wings quickly stiffening
>"Take right now for i-instance. Here I am sitting in your lap with your stallionhood snuggled in between my c-cheeks."
>To emphasize her point, she raised her hips a bit, forcing your member to slide up her crack
>You gasped as she then leaned back until your crown was poking her back door
>"If I were a deviant I would do any number of things to you without a second thought."
>She applied a little more pressure; not enough that you penetrated her but more than enough to leave you FUCKING FRUSTRATED
>"Things that are a little to inappropriate to be said aloud. But even though I may or may not be having more than a few less than pure thoughts about my current position--"
>"Anon! Sister also likes to talk and tease!"
"I can... see that," you grunted, trying to buck your hips
>Damned horse princess...
>Why did she have to be too heavy to send her into the air with a pelvic thrust?
>Its not fair...
>There was a Cheshire smile on Celestia's face as you struggled under her
>"--But, for the sake of your innocence--"
>INNOCENCE?!
>"--I am containing myself so that we can ease ourselves into--"
>"Oh for star's sake... Anonymous! Pull my sister's tail!"
>You raised an eyebrow was the smile on Celestia's face VANISHED, a wide-eyed look replacing it
>Oh?...
>Did we have something here?...
>>27510718
>Something that a certain princess didn't want you to know about?
>Your eyes drifted toward Celestia's long, rainbow wavy tail
>Celestia look down at her tail as well, before her gaze settled back on you
>She wiggled her butt to try to her your attention back to her butt
>While it felt GREAT, just as good as when Chrysalis had done it, your eyes were on another prize
>"N-Now Anon, what did I say about listening to my silly little sister?"
>Celestia tried to shimmy away but this was where her having a gigantic ass was her downfall
>Since your chair was only so big and it had armrests that meant that she couldn't move around that much; and only a little bit forward and backward to boot
>All that she managed to do with her escape wiggles was make your curiosity boner harder
>...
>It made your boner-boner harder too bu that didn't need to be said
>"She always says the silliest things to try to get ponies to do silly things."
>A bead of sweat trickled down Celestia brow as you slowly reached out
>"In fact, many ponies consider my sister something of a loon. I m-myself am amongst that astoundingly correct party."
>Celestia tried to flick her tail out of the way but your arm was more than long enough to get at it
>"Anon."
>Closer...
>"Anon, please don't tug on my tail."
>Closer...
>"I understand that you're curious but please, lets get back to the matter at hoof."
>Celestia let out a startled gasp as you managed to get a hold of a handful of tail
>The hair was nothing like you've ever felt before
>So fine that it nearly tickled your fingers, and it seemed to have a gravity all of its own
>Your hand tightened on this freaky tail, and you readied to pull
>The Prince of the Sun gulped, going ramrod stiff as she looked down at you
>"Anon."
>You finally looked back up at her, a grin on your face
>"Anon, I swear to my sun if you tug on my tail... THINGS will happen. Bad things. Horrible things. Things that will keep you-ououOUOU!"
>>27510732
>You gave the princess's tail a good, hard yank
>Celestia's eyes became as big as saucers as a loud, squeaky moan escaped her lips
>You tensed as her flank clamped down on you--
>"AfdodsincsoCUMMINGosifnodfnd!"
>Throwing back her head, the princess wrapped her hooves around your neck and crushed your face into her swan-like neck as she needly grinded her hips into your lap
>As she did that you felt your lap being soak by the Princess of the Sun's cum
>...
>That was fast...
>"I forgot to mention that while my sister is a deviant she is VERY quick on the draw if you catch my meaning!" Luna called, a great big ol' grin on her face. "But worry not, dear Anon, she will be good for multiple rounds if you so wish to take her!"
>Oh really?
>You let out a thoughtful hum that was barely audible over Celestia's ragged, heavy breathing and her moans
>You let go of her tail and let it join its twin on Celestia's backside
>So a certain princess is overly sensitive huh?
>Celestia let out a groan as your fingers dug into her backside
>You wondered how sensitive she reall--
>"A-Ahhhhh~!"
>Celestia bucked her hips as ANOTHER orgasm overcame her
>...
>Jesus...
>If she was this sensitive how the hell did she even go outside?
>...
>How was she able to deal with all of the teasing she was doing to you?
>...
>Why were you asking all of these dumb questions now when there was a royal ass in front of you to play with?
>The chair underneath you groaned in protest as Celestia lifted herself up and slammed herself back into your lap wildly
>As she did this your cock found itself free from its pillowy confines and grinding up against the princess's sopping wet marehood
>The two of you gasped at the sensation, Celestia letting out another loud moan as she soaked your dick in marecum
>You managed to pull yourself away from the princess's chest
>Looking up you could see her tongue lulling out of her mouth as she grinded herself against you
>>27510748
>Her eyes were clouded and lust filled, her majestic facade was gone
>The alicorn grinding herself against you was nothing more than a filly that needed to cum and needed to keep cumming
>"A-Anon--A-Ah~! I c-can--o-oh~!" I can't--Ahhhhhh!"
>Another orgasm, just as intense as the first three (or was it five?) washed over Celestia, making her shut her eyes tight and bite her lip
>You gave her flank another squeeze, gently thrusting against her twitching, hot, soaked lips
>Celestia's body rocked back and forth, her eyes fluttering closed
>"I-I, oh... I, oh my goodness... Just give me... Just give me a moment... I need... I need to..."
>One of your hands let go of her rump, reaching down to grab your dick
>As the princess tried to catch her breath, breathing very, very hard, you began rubbing it against her slit
>A whimper escaped her throat as one of her eyes cracked open to look down at you
>Her hips bucked as you teased her opening
>"A-Anon please," she murmured, leaning back a bit. "P-Please."
>Since you now had a bit more space you realized that, if you so desire, you could enter the princess
>...
>You looked up at her sweaty, needy form
>She was biting her lip as she looked back down at you
>Her wings flapped as you firmly pressed your crown against her flower
>You bucked your hips a bit, trying to--
>As you did that Celestia, who was tired of your teasing sat down, spearing herself onto your length
>"sdfvjnsdlfvbsldfjbjk!"
>She wiggled wildly as she took you to the base in one smooth motion
>You let out a surprised grunt, not even able to enjoy being inside of her royal highness for a moment before her inner muscles began trying to milk you for your seed
>Your grunt turned into a moan, and with your cock twitching you bucked your hips as best as you could in your position
>>27510757
>Celestia raised herself off of your shaft, trying to get away from the stimulation, but gravity was a motherfucker (you meant that in the best way possible), and not a second later she was slamming herself down and that beautiful wet, meaty sound of a phat ass hitting pelvis filled the air
>Your hands once again found Celestia's flank, groping and squeezing and tugging as she rode you hard and fast, orgasm after orgasm rushing through her big, beautiful horse body
>Celestia's hooves found your shoulders, forcing you against the back rail of your chair
>Her head dipped down and she nuzzled your face
>Her long tongue came out of her mouth and began licking the sweat off of your face
>With a growl you managed to use your tongue to wrestle hers into your mouth, forcing her lips against yours
>Unbeknownst to either of you, lost in the moment as you were, your chair was having some difficulties
>It wasn't made to handle the weight of a full grown green man and a big ass white horse, much less carry that weight while the two of you were in the middle of some very... rigorous activities
>The sound of wood cracking was washed out by Celestia's whinny's and snorts and moans along with your gasps and groans
>The chair bucked slightly as Celestia slammed herself down onto you, her body shaking with pleasure
>It buckled a bit more as she grinded hard into your lap as the two of you kissed, your tongues battling it out
>Though it had done well to last this long it was only a matter of time until the chair would just fall apart from your love making
>And, as you pulled hard on Celestia's tail as she slammed down onto you, it did
>So lost were you in the feeling of Celestia's cunny trying to milk the seed from your cock you were taken completely by surprise as you found yourself falling to the ground
>A yelp escaped your throat, your one free hand flailing
>>27510767
>You might have landed on top of a bunch of broken wood and nails if not for a red-faced Twilight (who was watching you fuck her ex-teacher with the kind of attention that might have made you a little uncomfortable if you had noticed that she was doing it)
>The purple princess's horn glowed, and with a pop the breaking chair was gone
>But, while you really appreciated not getting a nail up the ass after the fact, she didn't have time to grab either of you, so you still found yourself hitting the ground pretty fucking hard
>The air was nearly knocked out of your lungs as both you and Celestia fell to the ground in a heap, the princess still impaled on your willy
>Though she was still in the middle of an orgasm, Celestia's eyes shot open
>"Ahh~! Anon what--ohh~! Why are you--oh yes~! Why are we--"
>In any other instance you would have just laid there on the ground for like ten minutes feeling a little silly
>But you were in the middle of a fuck-fest; a fuck-fest where you were trying your hardest to fuck a princess stupid
>She still knew your name so you hadn't gotten the job done yet
>With a growl, you grabbed the princess by her beautifully thick hips, flipping her over so that she was on her back and you were looming over her
>Your cock popped out of her, shining in the sun from her fluids
>"Anon, wh--thmp!"
>Your mouth crashed into her's as you grabbed your cock and reentered her
>Celestia whimpered into your mouth, her marehood clenching against you as her back legs weakly kicked at the air
>You began to slowly thrust, savoring the tightness and the heat of the toppest pony princess in the land
>"There you go, Anonymous!" Luna cheered. "Show my sister who's boss!"
>You slowly started to increase the pace of your thrusting, your hands leaving her rump and exploring her back
>Her fur back there was just as soft and silky as her rump; maybe even softer
>She gasped as you buried your fingers into the dowry feathers around the base of her wings
>>27510777
>Celestia came again
>You started thrusting faster
>To your surprise Celestia broke your kiss and started gently nipping your neck, savoring the taste of your sweat on her lips
>Celestia came again
>Your hips were slamming against the princess's rump hard enough so that the sound was echoing throughout the market
>A sheen of sweat coated your bodies as the two of you touched and caressed each other, both of you lost to the world
>Celestia came again
>The two of you gazed into each other's eyes
>Her's was half-lidded and cloudy, as if she was about to pass out
>Your's were no doubt wild
>Celestia came again
>You could feel yourself quickly coming to your end
>Your hands left her back and once again started groping her butt
>Though it was covered in dirt and little pebbles and all manner of other things it still felt amazing as you squeezed and played with it to your hearts content, a moan escaping your throat as Celestia roughly bit at your neck
>Celestia came again
>You found yourself panting hard as your cock fired off a spurt of pre cum inside of the princess
>Your thrusts were starting to become wild, and your grip on her flank was so hard that you knuckles were white
>Celestia was babbling nonsense, looking up at you
>She nipped your neck again, those flat teeth of hers sending a jolt of painful pleasure throughout your body
>Celestia came again and, with a growl and a few more wild thrusts, you came as well
>Celestia's marehood went into overdrive, her inner muscles clamping down on you HARD
>Harder than it had since you had put in into her
>So hard that pleasure exploded through you, stealing away your breath and thought
>Your eyes widened, and the moan that was coming out of your mouth turned into a gasp
>You tried to pull out even as you fired into the princess to get away from the hyper stimulation, but that was when Celestia sprung her trap
>>27510791
>The princess's back legs wrapped around you, forcing you to hilt inside of her as she milked you
>"T-There we go," she murmured, now grinning, as you violently twitched against her. "Let it all out. Ahh~! Fill me up..."
>Your hips started to buck in short, furious bursts as Celestia neatly rolled you onto your back with you still buried deep into her
>You tried to open your mouth to say something but she darted down, hungrily eorfakfdlsdjbc!
>Your back arched as you found yourself, your orgasm not even finished, cumming again, this orgasm even harder than the first
>A low, happy hum escaped Celestia's throat as she felt the second load filling her womb
>She grinded her hips against your lap, getting every last drop of cum out of you even as she bit down on your neck even harder
>You, for the second or third time that day, went FUCKING LIMP, trying not to pass out
>"Anonymous! My sister also enjoys making stallion's cum multiple times in a row!" Luna called.
"Thank's for... the late... warning... Princess..." you muttered, opening and closing your eyes as your arms flopped onto the dirt. "Fucking... dick..."
>Celestia giggled, nosing your face as she laid herself down on top of you
>"Ever since I was a young filly I have been overly sensitive compared to other mares," she said, her sweat-soaked mane tickling your face. "There isn't a day that goes by when I don't find myself finishing over the simplest touch or rub multiple times a day."
>She hummed again, giving your cock a gentle squeeze
>"Even the sensation of my rump rubbing together is enough to get me off if I'm not careful~"
>She kissed your cheek, then your nose, then on the lips, the grin on her face just a little impish as she gave your softening cock another squeeze
>"Usually I am forced to keep quiet and have a series of spells at the ready to make sure that everypony doesn't notice, but every once in a while I enjoy... enjoying myself I suppose."
>>27510804
>She smiled down at you, her expression grateful and kind
>"I'd like to thank you for letting me let loose, Anonymous. It is nice to let my mane down every once in a while. I'd also like to thank you for not just sitting there letting me do all of the work; I have always appreciated an aggressive stallion in the bedroom."
"...You have... some CRAZY... cootch control..."
>Celestia's laughter rang out and she nosed your neck, licking one of the many bite marks that were forming on your throat
>"I've been told~"
>You enjoyed your sun snuggles for a good couple of minutes with Celestia giving your dick (which she refused to let go with her karate-grip vagina) gentle tugs every once in a while
>Eventually though the Princess of the Sun got up, cleaning you up with a spell, and gave you a kiss on the cheek as she made her way back toward the other royals
>As she did this you noticed that her g-string, which was somehow still intact, was hanging oddly on her rump
>Stretched out and dark from all of Celestia's, and no doubt your, juices, it still did shit all to cover the princesses rump
>You could every ripple as she swayed side-to-side
>You could see the sweat glistening off her fur
>And you most definitely could see your cum leaking out from between her lips
>Celestia stopped, looking back at you from over her shoulder
>Seeing you staring, she playfully stuck out her tongue and wiggled her butt at you
>While you were FUCKING SORE and VERY TIRED you could still feel your Johnson twitch at the sight
>...
>Goddammit dick
>You might have been one HELL of a trooper but the rest of your body really didn't have the same "fuck the code" attitude as you did
>...
>You still liked the hustle though
>"I believe that it is my turn now yes?"
>You jumped slightly, looking up to see Nightmare Moon staring down at you
>Jesus, you didn't hear this night hoers either
>In fact you don't recall seeing her moving toward you at all...
>>27510819
"...Yeah, it looks like it's your turn, Nightmare," you said, slowly getting to your feet. "Just let me get up and get another chai--"
>You grunted as an unseen force pushed you back to the ground
>"I do not require a chair for our inspection, Anonymous," the dark queen said
>Taking a step forward, she sat down in front of you
>"Before we begin I have a favor to ask you, if you would be so kind as to humor me."
>You looked at her, your head cocked to the side
>O-kay?....
"Whatcha need?"
>Nightmare regarded you for a few moments, as if she was debating whether or not to ask you want she wanted
>"I would like a hug. Please."
>...
>A hug?
>Though you raised an eyebrow at the request you nevertheless spread your arms out and beckoned her forward with a hand
>The mare's (?) snake eyes lit up, and with a happy hum she got back up and got into prime hugging position
>She straddled you, placing her head on top of yours as she wrapped her hooves around you
>Your hands found themselves around her barrel, scratching her back as you buried your face into her neck
>Nightmare let out a sigh, her wings wrapping around the two of you as she scooched just a hair closer, pressing as much of her body against you as she could
>"You know, I have never felt the touch of a stallion before," she muttered. "When I had joined with Luna it had been years since she had touched a stallion, and because of our failure to vanquish both the Princess of the Sun and those infernal new elements the only thing I have known is isolation..."
>The queen sounded oddly sad as she said that, prompting you to nuzzle the nape of her neck
>Nightmare nuzzled your back, her expression still slightly somber
>"...I can see why you mortals enjoy hugs so much," she said, her wings tightening around you slightly. "The... intimacy of having another close like this is... nice."
>You hug the sad little horse-like creature a little tighter
"We can hug for as long as you want, Nightmare," you told her
>>27510827
>Nightmare smiled at that, pressing your face back against her chest
>Just like the other princesses she was incredibly soft and oddly warm, and she was big enough so that it felt like you were actually hugging her instead of enveloping her like you did with most ponies
>Taking a deep breath you noticed that she had this ozone-y, chocolate-y smell
>Nightmare sighed again, a pleased hum escaping her throat as she nuzzled the top of your head, the queen practically brimming with happiness
>All-in-all it was shaping up to be a pretty nice hug
>You got to make a big, sad horse (?) feel better, you broke someone's hug virginity and you got to rest your poor, aching body for a little while
>Goodfeelsman2.O
>The hug lasted for quite a long time, for like ten minutes, but that was fine
>You were a guy that enjoyed your hugs, long or short
>With some regret, Nightmare freed you from your feathery prison, releasing the hug and getting back to her hooves
>"Thank you for humoring me, Anonymous," she said, a smile on her face as she nodded her head in thanks. "But now I think that it is time to continue with your little competition."
>She nudged her head toward your lap
>"I believe that you friend there is getting antsy."
>You frowned
>What the hell was she--
>DICK?!
>Why were you hard right now your fucker?!
>Nightmare giggled
>"Luna was not wrong when she said you were a very virile stallion," she said, her eyes shining
"I'm sorry about that, I swear that I didn't even notice--"
>"There is nothing to apologize about, human," she said with a wave of the hoof. "I assure you that it did nothing to ruin our hug. In fact I quite enjoyed the feeling of your stallionhood twitching against me."
>You were twitching against her?
>...
>Jesus Christ dick
>You fucking mad man...
>There was rising to the occasion and then there was fucking madness...
>Nightmare licked her lips, her long, not-horsey tongue making you feel funny in your lower regions
>>27510838
>>>27510827 (You)
>"I am slightly regretful that I did not acquire a pair of undergarments for myself," she said, turning around to present her backside to you. "I have seen how much you enjoy pulling them off."
>A happy sound came from your lips as you gazed upon the royal backside
>The queen's butt, just like Luna's, was a bit more muscular than your other contestants, but unlike Luna her's was nearer in size to Celestia's
>Each cheek was bigger than your head by a fair margin, each of them forming a perfect heart shape
>You didn't even bother to wipe the drool from your chin this time, just staring at the ass before you
>Nightmare smirked
>"You do enjoy our flanks don't you?"
>She tickled your nose with her crazy aurora borealis tail
>"Well, I am glad that you seem to hold mine in such high regard. Here, I shall move my tail to give you a better look."
>She flicked her tail fully out of the way, giving you a good look at her bits
>To be honest you didn't know what you were gonna get from this particular queen when her turn came up but, surprisingly, it looked like she just had a normal marehood and a normal ponut
>The juices that were leaking out of her were kind of crazy though...
>Really crazy
>Squinting, you leaned in a bit
>Her cum was a deep blackish color with bright white dots peppered everywhere
>If you didn't know any better you'd say that you were looking into space...
>...
>Reaching out, you grabbed the queen by her thighs and scooched her back so that you could properly see what you were looking at
>You reeled back slightly as the smell of the queen's arousal hit your nose
>There was no way to describe it; ever before had you smelled anything like it
>It was... BAD smelling
>...
>In all honest you couldn't make heads or tails of it
>...
>You had to taste it...
>Nightmare let out a gasp as you spread her cheeks apart
>"O-Oh, I see. You wish to get to the main event then?"
>She pushed her rump back, giving it an inviting wiggle
>>27510848
>"Do as you will. I am sure that you will make this en--O-Oh~..."
>Nightmare twitched as you licked the bit of cum dripping down her
H̗̘̬ͣ͜o̖̤̓͛̑̃̋̉̕r̵͉̞͊̋̿̇̒ͮͫ̓͘ş̠̓͒ͣͮ͠e̸̮͔̿͑ͣ̽͆̒̌͗p̢̛̲̝̖̬̯͒͒ͭ͊ͮͩu̱̪͔̹̰̬̹̟̥ͣ̆ͪ̉̑͂̂͢s̮̓̊ͤ̾͡ͅs͖͖͎͎̗̄y̯̪̳̱̫͕̥̟̲͋̍
>You blinked
>There you were, sitting on your old twin-sized mattress that you had back when you were in high school
>There was Chelsea DiChono sitting next to you
>Chelsea wasn't a very... pretty girl but you were fourteen
>And, most importantly, Chelsea had offered sexual favors in exchange for you helping her out in economics; a subject that you didn't know about but she didn't need to know that
>So, as far as you were concerned, she was a ten outta ten in your book
>Chelsea was stroking you through your lime green underwear as the two of you kissed
>You remember jerking off earlier in preparation for this but her hand felt AMAZING...
>You blinked again
>Now you were in your ratty dorm
>Your roommate, who had spent the whole semester doing his best to see how many times he could get away with streaking across campus without getting caught, was out for the night
>...Probably streaking across campus...
>You were laying on your back as Ashley Cunningham rode you
>Ashley was a pretty girl; with a pair of green eyes and a golden head of hair that made your heart flutter in your chest
>You had your hands on her ass, squeezing and groping as she gasped and moaned above you
>You were getting close, and her teasing and dirty talk most certainly wasn't helping you any, but you had one trick up your sleeve...
>You blinked yet again
>This time you were in Lyra and Bonbon's house
>The couple's bedroom was spacious, with a massive bed that could have comfortably housed at least a dozen sleeping ponies
>You could hear Lyra groaning as she lapped at your sack
>>27510854
>Bonbon was sitting on your face, grinding her marehood against your mouth as you licked and gently bit at her soft, cream-colored lips
>The three of you had, after a little too much to drink, found yourselves here after an off-handed comment that Bonbon had made about letting you sleep at their place for the night
>You had been going at it for hours, the smell of sweat and sex thick in the air
>Lyra, a pudgy little unicorn with not an athletic bone in her body, had had to stop every once in a while to rest, usually doing what she was doing now, licking your balls clean
>But Bonbon, an earth pony with dat earth pony stamina, had been going strong since the three of you had started
>The candy mare seemed to relish pulling you into a kiss as you gave that beautiful rump of her's a squeeze...
>Every sexual experience that you had ever had flashed by
>You got to experience the same thrilling nervousness/excitement, you got to feel each touch, each kiss and each buildup
>All at the same time
>You could feel your body shaking as you found yourself cumming
>You could feel Twilight's wetness seeping through your pants and wetting your cock as she grinded against you
>You could feel Cadence, though she had insisted on being as PG as possible, flexing her flank as she felt you rub against her cheeks
>You gasped as you came again, your balls clenching so hard that it hurt
>There was Roseluck, who had offered to blow you at the Apple family reunion because she was an exhibitionist
>...
>THAT had been weird...
>Especially when Granny Smith had tried striking up a conversation with you...
>You came again, this time wheezing as you desperately struggled to catch your breath
>You could feel the edges of your mind being frayed
>You couldn't handle this
>Your mind couldn't handle this
>It was too much
>TOO MUCH!
>You tried to turn away but another scene flash through your head
>It was another little romp that you had had with Bonbon and Lyra
>>27510866
>The three of you were in the candy maker's shop
>You had Lyra bent over the taffy-making table, squeezing her squishy rump as you thrust into her
>Lyra's golden eyes were hazy as she lapped at a groaning Bonbon's flower
>You pulled the Bonbon into a kiss, not slowing your thrusting at all
>You could taste caramel on her lips...
>If you could have you would have smiled at the memory
>Too bad Lyra made it weird, otherwise you'd--
>ailufvblsdncfskdfjcbsxkxbl!
>...
>You blinked, your head snapping left to right
>>What?!
>Who?!
>AIR!
>YOU NEED TO FUCKING BREATH!
>You sucked in a mouthful of air as your lungs screamed at you from underuse
>You could feel your head spinning, you felt nauseous, everything hurt; EVERYTHING
>You shook your head hard to get the sound of static out of your ears
>As you did that something sitting in between your lap caught your eye
>There, using her hooves to firmly hold you in place, was Nightmare Moon
>She had your cock in her mouth, cum staining her chin and muzzle as she hungrily suckled on you
>The dark queen's eyes were hazy as she moaned around your member
>You twitched, hissing in pain
>OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!
>This caused Nightmare's eyes to snap up to your face
>Releasing your wiener from her mouth with a pop, Nightmare licked her lips and smiled at you
>"Ah, it seems that you are back," she said simply, nuzzling your leg
"Back? Back... did I go?" you asked, still trying to get your body the oxygen that it so desperately needed
>"There," she cryptically answered
>Her horn glowed, and you found yourself in a proper sitting position
"I saw... I saw... EVERYTHING..."
>Nightmare once again straddled your lap
>"I know. I was there with you," she said, wrapping her hooves around you
"And then, and then... I felt all of those things happening... at the same time."
>Nightmare nuzzled your cheek, getting a bit of your own cum on your face
>While this would usually have disgusted you you were still too freaked out to even notice
>>27510884
>"From the amount that you released I'd say that you thoroughly enjoyed what I showed you," she observed. "And Luna was right; you do taste oddly sweet. I found it most pleasant."
>Her wings then wrapped around you, enveloping you in their warmth and helping you stay sitting up
>The two of you were silent for a while, Nightmare humming a little tune to herself as she held you and you thinking VERY hard about... things
>Nihilistic, we're-insignificant-specks-of-dust-in-the-universe-but-I-still-have-a-boner-anyways kind of things
"...I'm really sore and my head hurts."
>A throaty growl escaped Nightmare's throat as she grinded herself into your lap
>Thankfully, Anon Jr. was down for the count
>You still shuttered though when you felt her juices coating your member
>"Yes, is WAS most pleasant wasn't it?" she said, giggling as she gave your cheek a little peck
>>27510893
Alright, I'm done
>>27510904
yes
>>27510904
lub u bbyno homo
>>27499903
bump
>>27512101
At least have a pic or something.
>>27506717
Call the ponice!
Anyone remember what the futa celestia story was again?
>>27513095
Besides terrible? No.
>>27499903
So what's the best AIE story to read here?
>>27513276
That one with ponies and Anon
>>27513276
Mine, obviously
>>27513283
Yeah but which one? in the Alone In Equestria thread everyone consider SciAnon story to be the beast, but there are so many ones here i can't chose so tell me what's a good choice
>>27513394
The one with > before the sentences.
>>27513276
>>27513283
>>27513294
>>27513394
It's very clearly Bubble Butt Lovin.
>>27513451
Can't you recommend anything you faggot
>>27513504
Yes.
I recommend you go through the list and start reading whatever catches your fancy.
>>27513617
Whatever man i don't want to read anyway
>>27513617
>implying that there aren't a hundred different stories in that list and no real way of telling which are good
>>27513675
How did you lose the ability to form an opinion anon?
>>27513667
Good. Reading is nerd bullshit.
>>27513675
>no real way of telling which are good
Have you tried reading them?
>>27513713
>>27513394
Hurt by Brainhorn
>>27514156
>Being helpful
Dammit Jffypop, we're supposed to be mean.
>>27514233
I was about to ask how the helll you guessed that was me.
I wanna see gangsta anon in equestria
What's that demon pone? Kill them all? Oh, post more of you, okay.
>It's been two weeks since last you heard from the human.
>While it was a welcome change the first week, you can't help but wonder why he's not bothered you in so long.
>Maybe he finally got a marefriend.
>You laugh longer and harder than you should've at the thought and wonder if his feelings can still get hurt even if he can't hear you.
"Probably. heh."
>Perhaps he finally took the hint and decided to stand up for himself for a change.
"And now he's floating face down in a river somewhere."
>That image wasn't as funny to you as you thought it would be.
>He's probably waiting for the cabbits to repopulate since he goes through an impressive amount of the little buggers for the sake of spending an afternoon with you.
>So many things he can wish for; power, money, revenge, women...
"... men."
>Yet, it's as if all he really seeks is companionship.
>How he's failed time and time again to receive any from the pony populace is a wonder in and of itself, but still an accomplishment of sorts.
>>27514577
>Your tail swishes around impatiently.
"It's okay, he'll summon me soon, most likely with some asinine request."
>Probably asking you to help him find his keys again.
"How did they ever end up in the freezer?"
>Or that time he summoned you just ask which horn you cast magic with that turned into a complete lecture on how you manifest your power and channel it with your mind.
"At least he did a good job of filing my horn."
>That might make for a good excuse to go see him personally.
>Even if you've never done so before.
>...
"Fuck it."
>You close your eyes and focus on the human's living room where you've been summoned so often before.
>Flames envelope you and you can sense that the spot you're teleporting to is free of clutter, lest you telefrag into his coffee table again.
>His fault, not yours.
>>27514616
>The living room lights up red and the shell of flames blips into existence to shield your arrival.
>Once you've safely entered his realm you take a look around to see if you can find the big dope.
"Everything else here is still as messy as usual."
>Five seconds on this plane of existence and no stuttering fool has called out to welcome you.
>A quick look around shows he's not in the living room, so you move on to the kitchen.
>The table is mostly clear save for his usual stack of junk mail.
>A pile of dishes sit in the sink, while clean ones occupy the drying rack.
"How many times must I- ugh."
>You quickly sort the clean dishes into their appropriate drawers and cabinets.
>Now having an excuse to yell at him, you head towards the bedroom and are surprised to find the door locked.
>And with that you've become quite irked.
"Damn it, Human, you're pissing me off! You better be sick or dead in there, I shit you not!"
>Okay, maybe more than irked.
>Rather than port yourself to the other side, you make a point of melting the knob and hinges with hellfire before kicking down the door.
>First thing you do is look to his bed, which is messy and frustratingly empty.
>>27514577
>>27514616
>>27514623
Yes, please.
>>27514623
>You're about to shout again when you turn your gaze in the opposite direction towards the master bathroom when you find him.
"Oh no..."
>The human's body swings there limply, hung up from the support beam with the rope wrapped tightly around his neck.
>You stand there frozen for but a moment before you cut the rope with your magic and catch his body before it hits the ground.
>Carefully, you float him over to lay on the bed before you rip his shirt off and press an ear against his chest.
>You wait.
>And wait.
>The pounding of your own heart is almost enough to drown out the faint beat that echoes out from inside of him.
"Human!"
>Stepping back, you charge your forehooves with electricity and give him a quick jolt.
>His body convulses before going limp again so you give him a second helping of juice.
>This time he starts coughing and hacking and it takes him almost a full minute to recover his breath before he looks around and locks eyes with you.
>"Hey... I was just thinking about you."
>You fall to your rump with relief.
>>27514634
Oh shit, man.
>>27514634
"Why?"
>"Well I didn't have much else to do up there besides think."
"That's not what I meant. Why did you do it?"
>"Ah yeah, that would be the bigger question."
"Well?"
>He sits on the edge of the bed and scratches his head.
>"I should probably start from the beginning."
>He removes the rest of his shirt and presents his forearms to you.
>Along the lengths of them are two matching scars, likely caused by a blade.
>"This wasn't my first attempt. Back on earth, I was as much of a loser there as I am here. A college dropout, loveless and breaking a sweat for worthless checks. I was surviving, but I wasn't really living. So one day I decided that it was never going to get any better and that I'd at least end it on my own terms."
>He presses his middle and index finger against his temple.
>"I would've just blown my brains out, but I couldn't afford a gun."
>He leans over and opens the drawer of his nightstand to rummage through it.
>"Uhh... Ah, there it is." He produces a simple kitchen knife, though larger than what you'd normally find ponies using.
>"This was more within my budget. One of the only things to show up in this world with me besides my one black suit that I figured I'd wear one last time. Which brings me to the next part of my story. As I laid there, sleeves rolled up and blood pooling at the ends of my arms, I got scared. Normally someone would bleed out faster the way I did it, but my sleeves acted like a tourniquet to staunch the flow. Still, I knew it was too late, but I wished with all my heart that I could have a second chance."
>>27514642
>Equestria via suicide
Dropped.
>>27514642
>He looks at you for some sort of confirmation.
"Please, continue."
>With a nod he abides. "Right, well after my vision faded out, I woke up somewhere in the everfree. Just me, my suit, these scars and this knife. I used it to make a fire and was luckily found by some town guards who were searching for some other lost pony."
>Grabbing the back of the blade, he begins to carefully clean his nails with it.
>"Now you'd think that I'd gotten my second chance, and believe you me, I thought the same. However, it didn't take me long to fall into a similar routine here. I was just as miserable as before, but it was comfortable enough because of how long I'd been used to it. Things did start looking up though since I wasn't the only outcast here. Believe it or not, I'm actually on friendly terms with at least a few ponies besides you. Problem is I got brave and tried to push those boundaries."
>You nervously eye the knife in his hand and taking notice of this, he tosses it back in the drawer.
>"Sorry, it's kinda my Occam's razor. Anyway, although I rarely get any actual mail, the mail mare makes- made it a point to keep some junk mail in her bag to come talk to me. She's kind of like broken goods in the eyes of the other ponies, but she tries her best, especially for her daughter. So, me thinking I'm some big man, I decide to see if she'd like me to help shoulder the responsibility. That's when I got the good ol' "you're a great guy, but" rejection that I've heard enough times in my life already. She said we'd still be friends, but she started coming over less often and now it's been over a week since I've seen her."
>The human stops to scratch at his scars for a moment.
>"Again, I'm sorry. Normally I can forget about these things when I'm wearing my clothes, but when I can see them it just makes me doubly aware of them."
"It's no problem, though you know how I feel about your constant apologies."
>>27514650
Wait. Stop. Don't go.
>>27514651
>"Old habits. I actually wanted to speak to you right after the rejection, but I thought that I'd been bothering you too much and I wanted to calm down before I contacted you."
"You should've spoken to me. I'm sure I wouldn't have laughed. Too hard."
>This finally brings a smile to his lips.
>"Yeah, under different circumstances I bet you would've had a big laugh at that. It wasn't only the rejection that made me decide to end it all again. Losing one of my only friends put me in a slump so I've been cooped up here for the past couple weeks. Which left me alone with my thoughts and that's when I'd really made the realization that I've done no better here than I did on earth and figured I'd try not to fuck up this time."
>He tilts his head to each side and his neck makes a sickening cracking sound each time.
>"Of course rather than instantly snap my neck, I only managed to strangle myself. I really didn't want to risk waking up somewhere else, so I tried to think about anything else to distract myself. In the end, all those trains of thought rolled on back towards you. I must have some kind of power of suggestion because I figure you wouldn't have bothered showing up otherwise."
"That's not true... maybe."
>He looks at a clock on the wall.
>"What day is it?"
"Tuesday."
>"Still? So unless I survived a week up there than it wasn't a terribly long time I spent up there."
"Well if it's any consolation, I've been wondering what you were up to for a the last few days. After all, it's not like you to go so long without seeing me."
>>27514658
>"Sorry about that, and sorry about apologizing again. Uh, shit." He lays down on the bed, "Y'know for being unconscious as long as I was, I didn't think I'd be this tired."
"It's not like I'd expect you to completely change after a near death experience. But we can work on it together after you've had a good night's sleep."
>"What do I owe you for the house call?"
"I'd say your life, but we both know how much you seem to value it. I've also still been waiting for you to wine and dine me like we agreed upon since that time with the purple princess."
>"Oh yeah, she kinda blacklisted me in town after that one. So now I've got this "dark summoner" title. It would've been kinda cool if it didn't mean getting overcharged for having Rarity fix up my suit."
>He re-examines his clothes.
>"Guess I'll need a new dress shirt too."
"Don't worry, we can go down and explain things tomorrow, for now just rest up and don't disappoint me by not being in top form when the time comes."
>"I'd say I'll do my best, but knowing me, I'll need to do better than that."
"It's a start, good night mortal."
>"Anonymous, or Anon for short."
"Hmm?"
>"My name."
"Yes, right. Good night Anonymous."
>"Good night, um. What's your name?"
"My name?"
>"Yeah, it's only fair right? I asked you once before but we weren't on as good of terms back then so you just ignored me."
"Probably because I don't have one."
>>27514664
>"Oh, why not?"
"I'm not a high enough ranked demon. I'm just a wish granting succubus with limited power."
>He gives your words some thought before speaking.
>"How about Nona?"
"Nona?"
>"Yeah it's Anon backwards, since my name means "not identified by name; of unknown name."
"Nona." You repeat it a few times inside your head.
"Yes, I believe I can live with that for the time being."
>"It's okay to say you love it. My genius is often under appreciated."
"Except that anyone who's thought fondly of being dead has only ever tried it from the ears up."
>"Touche, alright I won't hold you up any longer. See you tomorrow Nona."
"Promise?"
>"Cross my heart, and hope to die."
"Not funny. You can apologize for that one."
>"I would've said sorry either way."
>He finally seems to have gotten all the chatter out of him as he removes his jacket and shirt before kicking off his shoes to go to bed.
>You shut off the light as you leave the room, and watch from the shadows with your demonic vision just to make sure he falls asleep.
>Heading back to the living room, you briefly consider returning home and instead throw yourself onto his couch.
>It'll be easier to watch over him this way anyway.
>Listening one more time for his snores to escape the bedroom, you lay your head on a throw pillow to get some rest yourself after that ordeal.
>Today was a good day to be a friend in Equestria.
There we go, just a little interaction between the two I thought up that I wanted to flesh out into a short.
>>27514650
>Not drinking the magic bleach
Fucking loser
>>27514729
Note of interest:
If you drink the magic bleach in Equestria you end up in the Pokemon universe.
>>27514675
I like it. Don't die again please.
>>27513692
>>27513714
I was talking about before reading them.
You have a list of hundreds of options but don't have anything that may point you in any clear direction then you are left guessing blindingly, going by what can end up being catchy titles of mediocre stories.
It is obvious that I would be able to form an opinion once I read them and that is why >>27513276 was asking us for the best story, probably hoping to get an idea as to where to begin reading.
>>27514756
What if you drink the magic bleach in the Pokemon universe?
>>27514982
Then you end up in a school drama anime as a new teacher. You won't speak any Japanese unless you know it already.
>>27514675
c-can you post your pastebin with it?
>>27515010
And a fourth time?
>>27515025
You're trapped in a universe where everyone else is Rob Schneider. There is no escape from this one.
>It takes you longer than you’d like, with multiple stops due to your not yet faded headache.
>Still, you make it, panting and gasping for air.
>Your stomach heaves with every breath, the toll of your frantic pace nearly disabling you.
>It wouldn’t have bothered you one bit,
> had Minuette not opened the door at that exact moment.
>You struggle to greet her, but your ragged breaths interrupt your every attempt.
>A look of surprised concern crosses her face, and she pulls you inside, out of the blistering sun.
>Panting on the nearby couch, you begin to rethink yourself.
>You can imagine the sweaty, near-broken mess of a person on the couch, hair matted with perspiration and chests heaving raggedly.
>You fight against it, only winning
>But at the end, you can’t beat this on your own
>Anguish crosses your face as your confidence fails,
> the old self-revile returning with seven more measures of strength.
>Through the crippling despair spreading through you like some vicious poison,
> one sensation breaks through your numbed consciousness: a hoof on your hand.
>You look up from your lap, greeted by Minuette’s concerned face,
> looking half as troubled as you feel.
>“I shouldn’t have let you go,”
> her trembling voice comes,
>“I should have gone with you, or gone myself.”
>You try to assure her that it’s fine, but she’s convinced she’s the fault of your pathos.
>A reminder of the message you were sent to get runs through you, and you rush to fulfill your duty.
>>27515090
“Minuette, I,”
>Your voice gives out as pain wracks your sorry head, sending it straight down into your heads.
>A worn groan leaves your lips, followed by a worried sigh.
>“Don’t try to speak now, sweetie.”
> comes her soothing tone.
>The final expression is noticed by both of you, and your tired eyes rise to meet her own, shocked and wide.
“Minuette,”
> you sputter, followed by her clasping her hoof over your mouth,
> from equal parts desire to make you rest and to prevent your reaction.
>Exhaustion convinces you to rest, and you keel over on the couch,
> eyes still barely open, staring at the worried pony before you.
>Your mind fading to a less inhibited state, you mumble to her
“I love you…”
>Too tired to be alert, but not of the kind to put you to sleep, you fall into a painful half-alive state.
>Your eyes close and open lazily over the next few minutes,
> taking blurry snap-shots of the sweet pony before you.
>Her perfect blue mouth open, eyes wide in surprise.
>Darkness.
>Her having taken a step back, a hoof held to her mouth, covering full lips,
> which bear a slowly growing upward curve.
>Darkness.
>Wondrous eyes, closer to you,
>but focusing on something above you, an smile half open and forgotten by its owner.
>Darkness.
>Perfect blue eyes, covered by a silver and dark blue curtain.
>Darkness. A hoof moving it aside, revealing two windows, crinkled at the sides.
>Darkness.
>Then more darkness.
>You had surrendered to your hurt,
> unwilling to expend the effort to keep your eyes open or understand where you were.
>The last sensation you feel is of a faint whispering, tickling your ear with unheard messages.
>>27515122
>Minutes later, your eyes open, and your arms contract.
>Your arm finds itself obstructed, and a cursory investigation finds the source:
> a giddy pony’s face resting on your forearm, blissfully staring at you.
“Minuette?” You start, your pain mostly gone.
>“Yes?”
> comes the lazy answer,
>her eyes still dead set on your face, exuding a glowing happiness you had come to love so.
“Minuette, we kissed.”
>”I know,”
> she tells you without a trace of discomfort.
> Her easy tone confuses you, and you inquire whether or not she already knew.
>Her eyes leave you, and focus on some distant point.
>”I pieced it together just now. After you told me that you…”
> her voice trails off, and her eyes come back to you, almost expectantly.
“that I loved you,”
> you reply.
>The nervousness you felt before had left.
>Not completely, but the presence of this beloved, perfect mare had finally broken through,
> to the point where you barely felt a tinge of fear.
>There is a knot of discomfort growing in your stomach as you realize that only part of your dream is realize.
>You look at her, concern in your eyes:
“Um, Minuette...?”
> You place your hand on her hoof, which rests on your chest.
>She looks towards your hand, then towards your worry.
>Realizing what you ask for before you say it,
> she leans in close, her muzzle brushing your cheek as it comes to rest over your face.
> Her lips hover just above your own, and her warm eyes hold yours for what feels like eternity. >“Anon,”
> she whispers, her warm breath on your own lips,
>“I love you too.”
>With that, she drops her lips onto yours,
> and your world is made complete.
>>27515130
Okay, that's that. Sorry it took so long to come out. I just got really out of it once the Minuette thread died. Hope you guys liked it.
Here's the paste for any AiE Anons who only got the descending action and want to know what this was about: http://pastebin.com/Hp3TvRSSGood night, sweet soldiers. Thanks for the ride.
>>27515153
Thank you anon, it was an honor to share the ride with you.
>>27513148
>>27513095
It was the one where ponies aren't born sexual, the become it by going to a magic spring, anyone remember who made it?
>>27514854
ok.
>>27515040
even if you kill yourself?
do you become rob schnieder yourself?
>>27516473
There is no death in the Schniederverse. Only pain and poorly acted cameos.
>>27516479Rated pg-13
>>27501008
he was never alive, the man is a myth
>>27515826
bump
>>27515040
Geez
>>27518023
The Rob Schnieders all have horse vaginas though, but they're not really that into you.
>>27518051
>>27514457
>The protagonist from Saints Row ends up in Equestria
>>27518936
>the protagonist
>not the boss
>>27518966
The protagonist, the boss, the leader of the Saints.
>>27519040
Nolan North?
>>27507996
http://pastebin.com/bQgMyF1P
This author has a few
>>27501018
You do know this is a different story right? He just uses the same name for them all.
>>27499903
>>27521492
>A dozen foals
Jesus Christ, are you trying to immobilize her?
>>27521605
get dat welfares moneys
>>27518858
Sweetie a cute.
Hey what happened to that wardrobe malfunction at canterlot high story
>>27515153
I don't normally visit these threads but have kept it open just for you.
thanks and goodby
Any cool stories not on the lists?pls respond
>>27524330
Old, but still hilarious.
Everything this guy wrote was funny.
http://pastebin.com/EMYRjvjC
>>27524402
THANKYOU FRIEND
>>27524484
everything by peteq is amazing
sometimes you see him, though he is a rare beast
>>27521492
U N F
N
F
>>27500359
I would cum inside this writefag
Chocolate crosspost
>Be Anon in horseville
>It's easter, the day your god's son invented both chocolate and eggs.
>The ponies who live around you are still pretty new to religion, so you have to teach them.
>Shit, you just realised you should have prepared for this.
>It's going to be hard getting a town's worth of chocolate eggs on such short notice
>You'd better get started finding some
>Oh there's Pinkie.
"Hi Pinkie."
>"Hey 'Non, your god asked me to make these for you."
>She pulls a shipping pallet of easter chocolates out of her mane and gives it to you
"Thanks Pinkie, thanks God."
>"You're welcome cutie."
>You still need to hide them though
"I still need to hide these."
>Maybe you can get one of the ponies to help?
"But who could help me with this?"
>"What about Twilight? I bet we could get her to do it if you let loose some of your hot alien charm."
"Good idea Pinkie, let's trick Twilight into doing the work for us."
>The two of you walk over to Twilight's housebrary tree, the chocolate balanced on top of Pinkie Pie's head.
>You press the door bell
>DONG RING
>The button falls off and a crash can be heard from inside
>Shortly afterwards the door is opened by Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Librarianing
"Hey Twilight, could you help me teach the ponies how to celebrate Easter?"
>"What's Easter?"
"It's a human holiday."
>"I don't know, the last time I helped you with a human holiday Princess Celestia was stuck to that tree for a month"
"And was a beautiful angel the whole time. Come on, the ponies need to be educated."
>"That's an understatement if I ever heard one. Sure, I'll lend a hoof."
>You explain to Twilight what she needs to do.
>>27524965
"Twilight, you need to help us hide these chocolates all over town in sorta-easy places to find."
>"Okay Anon, can do."
>Twilight magicjaculates onto the chocolates and they vanish in a cloud of sparkles.
>Now you need to get teachin.
>After some more cajoling Twilight and Pinkie help you gather the townsponies in front of the town stage.
>Once they've all arrived you begin speaking.
"Hi, as you all should know by now, I'm Anonymous."
"Today's Easter and as a devout religionarian it's my duty to teach you how to celebrate it."
>You go over the history of Easter and how Jesus drove the vampires from rome for their sins of rejecting chocolate.
>How it has become a tradition to eat chocolate eggs every Easter to celebrate how great chocolate is.
>And how you have arranged for chocolate eggs to be spread over the town for ponies to find.
>The ponies freak the fuck out.
>The allure of chocolate is too much for their weak minds to resist and rioting breaks out immediately
>The frantic searching only pauses when one pony succeds, whereupon the others nearby begin fighting to take the prize for themselves
>Mother fighting daughter, the injured left lying in the streets where they fall.
>Every pony is out only for themselves.
>It brings a tear of pride to your eye.
>>27521605
If you're going to do something, you may as well go all out.
Ground your pegasus.
>>27524402
Dude, I had papers to write today.
>>27525371
Sorry not sorry.
PeteQ > Homework
>>27524402
I actually spoke Azazel's lines in a voice that I thought a demon would sound like aloud.
It was pretty funny when he was calling Baheel a cunt.
>>27524948
>>27524966
No, this is the most inside-cummable writefag. Anonpencil is a slut.
>Be Anon.
>"GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY APE!"
>You are currently running away from Twilight. She's a little bit ticked off at you. You have no idea why.
>"ANON!"
>Okay, you know why. Ponies don't have buttholes, but you do. They also don't have to poop, but you do. So being the problem solver you are you decided to use all of her potted plants as a toilet for the past 5 months.
>She complained about the smell, but couldn't figure out what it was since you're the only thing that poops in this world.
>She probably wouldn't have been this mad had that been it. You needed to wipe too. You used the thickest book you could find as TP. It was also a rare and irreplaceable spellbook.
>"HOLD STILL!"
>Twilight zaps you with her vile pony friendship magic. You no longer have a butthole. You don't have a penis either.
>Turns out they do go to the bathroom, but they use their mouths like a sea cucumber. And now you do too.
>>27525659
>>Turns out they do go to the bathroom, but they use their mouths like a sea cucumber. And now you do too.
Where are the fucking toilets then?
>>27525743
Anon didn't look very hard. He's kind of a lazy asshole. It's a fixture on the wall of the bathroom about pony head height.
>>27525435
Can't he and I just cum inside each other?
>>27526056
That is also acceptable. Proceed.
>>27526056
>>27526117
>>27525435
>>27525754
>>27525743
>>27525659
How do ponies fuck then?
>>27526131
Shhhh...it's ok...we're both drunkards, we won't remember it in the morning.
>>27526131
Open mouth kissing. Also licking up someone else's spit from the ground.
>>27526143
>Open mouth kissing and licking spit
>Not turning inside out and vomiting your innards into your partner to access the goolies that are halfway down their throat
Lame.
>>27526168
Only Pinkie does that, and she has to drink tequila first.
>>27526182
>Anon's in thatquestria
>Pinkie notices Anon is having a dry spell
>Tries to sex him up to cheer him up
>Goes horribly wrong, just like regular sex
>Anon ends up in hospital from having his jaw torn off and throat ruptured
>Pinkie visits him every day in his hospital room
>Once he's out they try again
>Awkward troubleshooting ensues, just like regular sex
>"Okay, so putting it in your mouth wasn't such a good plan, is human sex different?"
"I have genitals between my legs."
>"Ooooh, amazing!"
>Pinkie plays with Anon's dick for a while
>"Flop flop flop hehehehehehehe. Here let me show you my bits and pieces!"
>"BLARGHHGHGHGHRGH"
>Ponk disgorges a meaty appendage consisting of her throat-parts with lots of holes and wibbly protrudances.
>Pinkie tries to talk to Anon further but cannot because her larynx is no longer inside her
>Anon ends up literally throat-fucking the fleshy throat-prolapse
>They both take extra care to not let their faces get too close during post-coital cuddles though
>>27526234
Thanks Durnk.
>>27526131
>>27526143
>>27526168
Also, using someone else's spoon without washing it first.
>>27527030
>While that Anon was waiting, another Anon swooped in and bought her
>Now Anon is pissed
>>27527086
Buyers remorse.
>>27527030
>>27527829
I still say he paid too much.
She never stops talking.
She judges your every action.
She has a gas leak.
She gives terrible blowjobs.
And she has to go "save the world" a couple of times a year.
>>27528161
>terrible blowjob
At least it's a blowjob at all.
![large[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Aj0R9Rg.png "large[1].png")
Anon in BigQuestria.
>>27529101
I'm down with that.
Then again, I'm down with Ponies being normal sized horses.
And Anthros.
I'm lonely.
>>27529101
No thanks.
>>27529101Gator pls go.
>>27529101
bigpon a big
>>27499903
bump
>>27530702
makes me laugh my ass off every time
>>27526056
You first
>>27532148
11/9, very good.
>>27529101
Snu snu is my fetish.
>>27525754
Probably thought it was a glory hole
>>27513095
But seriously, anyone remember this, I really don't want to have to go through the entire master list looking for something that may have been deleted.
>>27534003
Nope.
>>27532148
OY VEY!
>>27534059
>>27534110
>>27534148
>>27534235
How shameful. Look at that whore with her tail out and eyes showing.
>>27534238
>eyes showing
Vat?
>>27534244
The eyes are the lewdest part of the pony.
>>27534248
But how the hell are you supposed to walk with covered eyes?
>>27534253
They shouldn't even be out of the house, and if they are you lead them by the reins. That's what the bridle is for.
>>27534235
>Virgin
But why isnt that mentioned on original sign?
>>27534261
Thats some next level islam.
>The EU is banning 4chan and all other hate speech sites.
I'll miss you guys
>>27534299
I'll miss you too, Ahmed. The underage pony rape discussions just won't be the same without your insight.
>>27534244
>>27534253
Only way you are asking that, is that you live in a country with 0 Muslim immigration ...I envy you.
>>27534299
I'll still figure out a way to shitpost here. It is the only joy I get in life anymore.
>>27534299
I don't think They will be very successful. People always find a way to get around that sort of thing.
>>27534299
Hold, wait wait, WHAT!?
As far as I knew they were just forcing big companies like YouTube and Facebook to patrol the site and delete any """hate speech""".
>>27535333
It's just /pol/ overreacting. Must be a day that ends in "y."
>Be Anon.
>Twilight was unhappy about all the swearing you did. So she cast some kind of spell on you.
>"Mornin' Anon."
Twilight is awesome Applejack.
>"Glad ya think so. It's good ta hear nice things come out of your mouth these days."
I want to Twilight is awesome myself with a rake after I Twilight is awesome a certain purple unicorn.
>"Well, good luck with that."
Oh go Twilight is awesome with your brother like we all know you do. You Twilight is awesome pony.
>>27535992
Twilight is awesome twilight is awesome twilight is awesome my twilight is awesome twilight is awesome
>>27535351
Correct.
>>27537034
Your life is incorrect, though.
>>27537296
Uuuu
>>27519824You
>>27537994
>That way too excited pegasus
>>27534852
I'm tempted to shoop Fisto into this
>>27536615
too cute
