Howdy, partner!
What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.
Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.
The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:
~~~~~
>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."
~~~~~
Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.
If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.
If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.
If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.
Thread 140! One hundred and forty times your daily apple needs!
>>27404496
1 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
50 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack
Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27347570
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki
Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Applepie!
First for sexy hooves!
>>27404561
Damn! A few seconds off!
>>27404573
Snooze for 30 seconds you lose, man.
>>27404573
I step fully applaud your efforts, man. Thanks for looking out.
>>27404561
>Spike/Aj is a decoy
>We're actually building to first gay princess
Brilliant!
>That last 29 story last thread
I don't know if I should daw or go oh my.
>>27404927
Oh my.
Every time, oh myyyy~
>>27404927
They did the lewd things, at least, in my mind (not the writer)
Therefore, oh my~
Pinkie Preview Prophecies
>Winona takes a bite outta crime.
>Gummy can pop out of unexpected places.
>Owlicious is too delicious for this.
>Opal wears a lady bug suit.
>Tank runs an errand.
>Angel Bunny gets hold of a plunger.
>Harry the bear keeps some kids from playing with matches and try to say only you can prevent wildfires.
>Peeping fanservice!
>>27405427
>All PETA edition
Nice.
>>27405189
>Speaketh foul in mine hearing organs!
"... I could have been a Princess..."
>Oh Hivemind, I have crested the peak!
>Chitty
~???~
~~~
>Huh... I think I've actually become so hungry I'm not hungry anymore. I transcended hunger. Is that a good thing?
~Nope-
>What the fuck do you know? Nothing, because you're a damn rock. Heh... Teach that fucking rock.
~...~
>Wait a minute.
>>27404927
Is it bad that I am hoping that they just fucked?
>>27405480
On the positive side, he's a pretty good lay in canon due to him devoting his whole life to learning how to please royalty.
So, and I'm not saying they did, if it happened, she had the ride of her life,
Since her benchmark was probably Flash.
>>27405697
It wouldn't be as funny, but so much more satisfying
>Canties 1
"C2"
~~~~
>... This is gonna hurt, isn't it?
"Preemptive I told you so."
>Fuuuuuu
>>27405731
But he has robo penis now, cause Twilight does not now when to stop, and can probably literally piston her mare whole with his metallic rod.
>>27405963
But she hasn't even met that Flash yet
She's probably only had sex with HUMAN Flash
which would be shit because human dicks are terrible in comparison to horsecock
>>27405963
Wrong flash.
Varry confirms she has a human fetish.
OOcO
>Aj
"Celly"
~~~~
>Tia? Gotta question.
"And I have a hate that never ends. It goes on and on my friend."
>Much like yer ass.
"You focus way too much on my posterior. Do I sense a hint of jealousy?"
>More like forboding at mah future. By ta' mah question, where do we get all our coco beans from for chocolate? Ain't those only able to live in certain climates?
"Yep."
>Soooo-
"Imported."
>How do they harvest them? Cause ah've been lookin into it, and-
"Applejack?"
>...
"You don't want to go down that rabbit hole, trust me."
>...
"Do not ask how chocolate is farmed, trust me."
>... Ah suddenly feel terrible.
"Welcome to the world. It's awful."
>Drown our sorrows in a sundae?
"You are wise beyond your years."
>>27404496
>Long... Live... The queen
"Noooooo! I want time off! Let me fall!"
>Dang it Celly, we gotta get that education reform done today!
"Noooo!"
>No ones gonna believe ya' fell, ya' can fly!
"They're dumb enough, they'll buy it! That's why you wanted to reform the current curriculum!"
>... Shoot, got me there.
"Ha!"
>Ya realize that's just one more reason not ta' let ya' fall, right?
"....SHIT!"
>>27406189
And thus, you ruin chocolate for some poor naive soul.
>>27404927
>>27405319
>>27405826
I'd find it much more hilarious if they sat on the efe of the bed in the half-dark like arkward teenagers, holding hooves.
It'd be a good mixture of Cute and amusing
>>27405984
She also had human vag, so its an equivalency thing. So unless he was a small prick I don't think that would be an issue.
>>27406138
And 29 was working on that...
>>27406602
So, new AfterDark entry when?
>>27406668
Does anyone still have the keys to that thing?
>>27406902
If not, well just make another one.
>>27406367
I support this, only because I don't want him to get laud before he fucks the zebra.
>>27406902
>>27406985
Or I leave it in the regular pastebin as a separate entry. Whatever works.
>>27406999
Trips or not, 29's 'Sword of Fantasy' is Trixie's
>>27407068
>Trixie
>not Zecora
Ya dun goofed, /pa/l, but like our motto goes, we'll fix that.
>>27407068
>>27407081
>Either of them
>Not the one he already fucked
>not just having a four-way
for shame
>>27406999
>>27407068
>>27407081
Far be it from me to be the one to point out how wrong you wrong wrongers are, but I do believe someone else has first dibs?
You can worry about the silver medal after a certain mare retakes her victory lap.
>AJ is about to drop the infobomb on Canterlot,
>Biggest topic is if 29 gets to sing 'I just had sex' or not
As a lover of comedy, I thank you all.
>42
"13"
~
>You have been staring for a while now.
The other changeling blinked, as if suddenly realizing that herself, before looking away sheepishly.
"Sorry."
>By all means, I'm more curious you find me interesting. Mostly they look at the little one with a stare like that.
The unlucky bug looked over to the one setting up the board for another round of chute and ladders, feeling a smile just by looking at her.
"Oh, trust me, she's interesting. It's just..."
>Is it my helmet? It's alright if it is, it is a fine helmet.
"No, it's not that."
>You take that back.
"No no! It's a great helmet, that's just not what's interesting."
>Then if I may, what is?
"...I'm just flattered, I guess."
The changeling fighter blinked, clearly taken off guard.
>This isn't you hitting on me, right? I am not good with situations like that, I cannot be held accountable for vanishing and coming back when I feel you have given up thinking on it.
The bark of laughter was loud enough to even make Two pause.
"Nahhh, you're not my type."
>That is both relieving and vastly disappointing.
"It's just... I'm kind of flattered her majesty chose you to guard me. You! You're the best fighter in the changeling army, and I'm just... kinda me."
A lot more blinking followed, coupled with a gaping mouth opening and closing once or twice, before Forty Two could speak again.
>Your mother is literally the Titan. Literally. Your mother is Queen Chitania and you wonder why her majesty would choose to protect you?
"...You don't get it."
She crossed her forelegs, looking back to the little one nearly finished in her work.
>I suppose I don't what do you mean?
"...I don't even know myself."
Even as she admitted this, she smiled.
>I... see?
Even with all that she had been through, all that had happened, Thirteen felt safe.
"So, think you're actually going to win this time?"
>I throw the matches so as not to upset the little one.
"How do you throw games of chance?"
>Shut up, that's how.
[constant royal banjos can be heard]
>>27406229
My sides have been utterly applenated.
>>27407334
As someone who was here since the early days, I'm still shocked people want TWENTY NINE to ever get with someone.
He spent a thread in a tube and nobody gave a fuck. And now someone has actually said>>27405697
>Is it bad that I am hoping that they just fucked?
>>27404670
>Implying she's not going to join Shining's Harem>And then take it over from the inside
>>27407807
Make us whole...
>>27407579
That actually would be funny.
There's just this constant symphony following them, and nobody ever notices.
>>27407334
We know how the Canterlot one is gonna go.
Cantie:WELL I GUESS WE'RE ALL ASSHOLES
AJ:Ah' gotta fix things!"
AB:I'm neglected!'
Chrys: HAH!
>>27408239
>AB:I'm neglected!'
Seriously.
Bitch almost died a hundred times over.
At least she's not coming back with herpes like Sweetie, but still.
>>27407807
Why would she want Shiny's harem?
Okay, she gets along really well with him and they have had some sweet moments together, but she's never really connected with 18, Cadence or 42.
She lives to make Celly's life hell, that's out.
She just got around to not hating Chrysalis ONE THREADS IN, she's got nothing there.
She'd only want the Shiny dick if she wanted anyone at all, if anything she'd get in there just to dismantle it from the inside and leave her the victor.
>>27405480
If that were marey, she would never stop cumming,
>>27407895
You can never have enough!
Goodnight, new thread.
>>27409145
Night, anon!
>>27409688
So focused on the night, no mention of how wonderful the morning is!
>>27409971
Nuu night time belongs to Luna n Pinkie!
>>27410186
But the sday... it is time for work!
Back to the papers
>>27407719
I kinda started rooting for him early thread because he was basically getting the 18 treatment, Even the tube thing was him trying to seduce Twilight.
>>27408573
As many appul lovers as we have here, none of them are that spiteful to throw AJ at Shiny just to kick everyone else out.
>>27410629
Not true, but they now that if they did that would be the start of the rapid death of /pa/'s quality work.
>>27410629
>>27410731
Odd. If I wanted to throw AJ at Shiny, I wouldn't throw her at all, it'd be a budding relationship built up over a great length of time and only done because I legit think they would make a cute couple as two of the sanest characters we have in this series.
>>27411034
Well too bad. No AppleArmor for you, no ShiningJack either... no Shipple for you.
>>27411080
>Shipple
That is a very disturbing mental image.
Remmeber that time Two had a Princess meeting in her head? That was cute.
>>27411267
... Did we do that before 'Inside Out' came out?
>>27411321
Yes.
>>27411330
Wow, that's neat.
>Applejack
"Various'
~~~~
She had hoped, truly and deeply, that the response would be collected, measured, and above all understanding. She knew there would be those who would feel hurt, betrayed even, but she truly did hope that in the end, they would understand that above all things, honesty was what was most important. She hoped, in her silence following her long speech to explain it all, they would understand the need for, of all things, the truth.
"BULLLLLSHIIIIIIITTTTT!"
It wasn't the first time she had been disappointed.
"We're seriously supposed to believe that this was all just one great big accident!? How dumb do you think we are!"
"Kinda of interesting the supposed instigator isn't here, isn't it!?"
"There is a changeling with you right now, right fucking there! We're supposed to just believe that's completely unrelated!?"
"SHE'S RIGHT THERE!"
It was a rare sight to see Chrysalis take accusations like that in stride, but sure enough they gained nothing but a roll of her eyes for their troubles.
>Now don't be blamin' her, she's just here cause we all want to get this whole mess sorted out-
"Here's how you can sort it out, find fuckhuge bug, BOOM!"
The resounding agreement was nothing short of unsettling.
>Ah' told you, she didn't-
"Wreck the city? Uh, yeah! She did! Look at it!"
>She thought-
"Who cares what she thought!? It's not like this is the first time! We never brought her to justice with that one either, we're just going to keep letting this happen?"
"Who cares if this one was an accident!? It was your fault we could take her down in the first place anyway!"
She knew it was coming, and it didn't make it any easier.
>Ah' know, but if Ah' didn't, then-
"You don't know that!"
The agreements just kept coming, and she saw the tide just kept rising.
1/4
>>27411366
"She's obviously proven that even if we let her off the hook, she'll just wreck the city anyway!"
"How many times do we have to have the place reduced to rubble before it occurs to us that maybe she's a problem!?"
"How many times do we have to nearly get stepped on!? Does one of us finally have to die? Is that it? Do we have to die before you'll get some sense and stop her!? Because-"
>NOW LISTEN HERE!
Her hoof slammed down, and for once, all was silent.
>Look... Ah' know all of you are upset, cause ya' felt like winners, ya' felt like ya' really did somethin' here. And you know what? You did! Fight or no, ya' still managed ta' band together and protect yer' home, you all still showed a lot of bravery, and you can be proud of that. Be proud of that, you earned it, but... for this bein' all righteous, it just ain't the truth. Ah'm sorry, Ah' know this ain't what ya' wanna hear, ya' wanna hear the good guys won, and the badguy lost, and now we're gonna find her and take her to jail or worse. Ya' wanna hear that we overcame the odds and beat the one wantin' to destroy the city, but... it's just not. Those of you that joined up with Rarity and shot at her... ya' didn't help nothin'.
She could see they still wouldn't accept it, every one of them fighting her with her eyes alone, with words sure to follow soon enough.
>And Ah' know what yer' thinkin', that this might be some big plot to make them look good or us look bad or who even knows, but it's not. And the truth is... Ah' know why ya'll did it, and it ain't got nothin' to do with the fact she was a changeling.
She looked out, to the city still in shambles, still deeply needing repair, and she let out a sad breath.
2/4
>>27411371
>It wasn't fair she just got off the hook for the first time, it wasn't right that she just got to walk free after all that, and ya' finally got ta' stick it back to her. Ya' finally got to rise up, and show her why she shouldn't have messed with ya'... that ain't healthy, and it ain't right, but ya' know what?... Part o' me felt the same way. Big old part, iffin' Ah'm being honest. This here, this was a mistake... but we all know why it happened.
Though some began to turn, began to accept it, most stayed stubborn, scoffing and blowing off her words without a thought.
>...Look, iffin' ya' still don't believe me, Ah' understand. Ya' think Ah'm mind controlled or this is a trap to set for her so we can catch her or somethin', or whatever, but it ain't the truth. A friend of mine... a good, dear friend who Ah' still love ta' bits, made a bad choice, and it got away from her before she could bring it back, and that's what wrecked yer's city. It wasn't a monster, it wasn't hate, it was us not understanding each other, and ready to see the worst in everyone. You saw the worst in her when she started fighting, she saw the worst in us when we started it. We both went into this thinkin' the other was out to kill us, but in reality... we both wanted to live our lives, that was all. We just wanted to live and do what we wanna do. Was she wrong? Yep, we'd never do something like that. Were we?... Ah' think ya' know the answer to that.
She couldn't even look at them now, a childish piece of her too afraid to see what she knew their faces looked like.
>Which is why... due to the circumstances, Ah' am canceling the warrant out for her and Sunset Shimmer's arrest, with all charges dropped.
The screams were exactly what she expected, if not louder.
"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
"Who's going to pay for my house!?"
"I ALMOST DIED!... AGAIN!"
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!?"
3/4
>>27411380
That last one was asked again and again and again, "Why".
They all knew the answer, even if they didn't want to hear it.
>Because it's the truth, and it needs to come out... no matter how much it hurts. That's all.
If they mistook her last words or if they had simply had enough, the vast majority of the crowd began to leave. One by one they dispersed, heading every which way. With the circle broken, slowly but surely even the loudest in the middle broke away, shooting her one last dirty look before heading off to somewhere else.
In no time at all, she was left glaring at nothing but an empty, barren street.
>... Knew it wouldn't be that easy.
"You did just fine, Applejack... I'm proud of you."
The tallest princess walked up to her, gently placing a hoof on her side, both to comfort her, and to help steady her.
>It didn't fix everything.
"No... but it fixed something. It fixed a wrong that needed righted, and that we could not let continue. The foundation is set. From here... we can rebuild the rest."
>Ah' suppose.
One by one, her friends gathered around her.
"You did fine, Applejack. Better than I did as a princess."
"Yeahhh, sorry for being one of the ones who kinda... caused it."
"And now we can throw a 'you told the truth' party!"
"But... what now?"
It was a question none of them had the answer to, really.
>Ah' guess we hope that they hear about this and actually believe it.
"And when they don't?"
To the only stallion there, it wasn't even a question.
>Then we keep tryin', till they believe us. But for now... all we can do is wait, live, and keep trying.
As they looked out to the wreckage, they could do nothing but agree.
>Wait... and keep fightin' for the truth.
>>27411371
"Bullshit! We DO hate her for being a Changeling!"
>... but that's...
"Racist!? FUCK YEAH IT IS! We're proud of it you no good Dirt Princess!"
>...
"..."
"..."
"I think you went to far with that one, her eyes are turning red."
"Is that tradition or murderous rage?
POP... POP!
"Ah, murderous rage first."
"..."
"RUN!"
"Back to the pile!"
"Protect me money!"
>>27411420
I want to laugh, I also want to strangle you but I won't lie, I do want to laugh.
>>27411390
Finally, everyone is free! FREEEEE!
Until Chitty comes back with a revenge boner, that is.
>32
"Acty"
'JJ'
-???-
>Right so jibes aside...we need beds and a roof before someone on the weather crew decides this looks like a good spot for a drizzle.
"Oh yeah, I'm way too familiar with wet stuff falling my head."
'And getting in my mou-'
>FIVE MINUTES, CAN YOU TWO GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT DOING THAT!?
"Doing what?"
>Ugh...
-Excuse me.-
>Hm? Ah, hello. I'm sorry but the Embassy's operating on a rather limited basis right now. Being as we are now a vacant lot.
-You're Ambassador 32 right?-
>Yes?
-Good.-
BANG!
>GAH! FUCK!
-KILL THE CHIGGERS!-
"Holy shit!"
'Wh-what?'
BANG!
Pyong!
"JJ!"
'Ow...I'm ok, dang...I think all those hugs paid off.'
-TO HELL WITH ALL OF YOU!-
>My...my chest...
"32, 32 are you alright?"
>Guess...a cot is fine too...
Fwump!
"Oh no...no no no-GUARDS! SOMEBODY HELP!"
>>27411492
Well, that escalated quickly.
>>27411492
And thus, Chrysalis's headache increases a thousand fold.
>>27411492
The ONE TIME you decide not to be all 'I'mma jump in front of shit that can kill me' and heroic, Acty. THE ONE FUCKING TIME.
WAY TO DROP THE BALL ON THAT ONE.
>>27411469
Another city stomping later
>Ok... Now Ah' know what y'all are thinkin'.... Even if we said t' her she wasn't gonna be charged fer the last stompin', she went and smashed the city again cos.... Ah' don't fuckin' know really..... But THIS time if we apologise to her as a bunch o' ponies, she'll listen!
"...."
"...NO GOD'S NO MASTERS!"
"VIVA LA REVOLUCION"
And so The Princesses were granted the sweet sweet release of death
And Chitania was rocketed into space
The end
>>27411582
>And Chitania was rocketed into space
Would... would that actually do something?
She'd just teleport out, and come back.
...From the sky.
Falling.
Falling very fast.
"The End" was not a hyperbole, apparently.
>>27411080
You are very lucky I'm pro AppleSpike.
>>27411492
Pleasebedeadpleasebedeadpleasebedead...
>>27411390
Applejack is never not a badass.
>>27411492
I'm getting House of Cards flashbacks....
>>27411492
>'Ow...I'm ok, dang...I think all those hugs paid off.'
>-TO HELL WITH ALL OF YOU!-
..So is he gonna shoot again, oorrrr.. JJ's right there, and he didn't run off or anything.
-DAMN! WHY DID I ONLY BRING TWO BULLETS!?-
>>27411355
It was during PL, so it was before Inside Out was even ANNOUNCED.
And yes, it included different colored Two's that each represented different personalities.
Admittedly, Inside Out isn't exactly a trailblazer in that(even The Simpsons did it), but still.
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
~~~
>Sigh... I guess I just can't fund my anti-dragon defense force.
"Hey, CC? Can I ask something?'
>Go on, pile it on, make me feel even worse.
"What does a dragon defense force have to do with being a weather captain? Isn't that an army thing?"
>....
"..."
>So what you're saying is... I didn't fail, because I never needed to try in the first place!
"Is that how that works?"
>Of course it's how it works you silly goose! WE'VE WON!
"Oh... yay!"
>Yay indeed, my simple minded fellow weather worker-
"I'm actually not-"
>Come on, let's go do weather captain stuff!
"You just grabbed me off the street, I didn't-"
>TO ADVENTURE!
"I feel like I should call somebody."
>>27411805
I thought it was less personalities, more that she was thinking of what everyone she knew would do in that situation.
>>27411492
...u-uuuuuuuuh... UUUUUUUH. What the fuck?! What the actual fuck! Is... is this the stage we are at? Political intrigue, revolution and all the terrible things that come with it?
OH JOY. LIKE I WANT THAT IN MY FICTION.
>>27411390
>RARITY CONFIRMED WORST PRINCESS
>BAR NONE
>>27412072
>Political intrigue,
That's been a staple for a while now, since PD hit the scene.
>revolution
We're not going to overthrow the princesses, stop worrying about that
>All the terrible things that come with it.
I'm actually just as worried we'll go full political commentary instead of something like the Chitty incident where it was just a misunderstanding fostered by both parties distrusting each other.
I prefer Less # more personal character relations myself, but if they want to write it, go for it.
>>27411492
...uh...story? I know I fucking typed the rest of you. Where did the ending go!?
FUCK YOU, IPHONE!
>>27412127
Oh, that's not all?
Well, your phone knows cliffhangers down pat, for sure.
>>27412225
The ending was, guards show up and tackle the fucker.
The fucking ghost of Steve Jobs did to my ending what Liam did to Sombra Anon!
>2
“42”
‘13’
~~~
>Annnd, go fish!
“We’re playing Uno.”
>What does Uno mean?
‘It means one. You know, so you only have one card and so on?’
>Ohhhh… huhhhhh.
“It’s not complicated, why are you looking like that?
>…Hey, Forty Two? Ya’ know everyone in the Hive, right?
“Of course, it’s my duty to ensure I am aware of every one of them in case they go missing, and I can pa-.. inform her majesty.”
>So then, is there a changeling named One?
“…uhh…”
‘…huhhh…’
>…
“…”
‘…’
>Well?
“…huhhh…”
>…
‘…’
“…I might have to look into this.”
>>27412127
So
So you gonna type out the rest of it or nah?
Cos otherwise we're just a BIT stuck
>>27412610
I'm working on it, but Microsoft Edge just fucking crashed on me.
Gates AND Job can go fuck themselves.
>>27412590
I smell a mystery!
>>27412773
It's gonna lead to another OCBug, ain't it?
>>27411492
[The Ending]
~Hey, the hell are you doing!?~
-Aw shit.-
The assailant attempts to flee, but he's quickly tackled by the guard alerted by the gun shot and Actarius' shouting. Meanwhile, Acty and JJ each grab ahold of 32.
"You're gonna be ok boss, JJ and I are going to get you to a hospital."
'Nngh...he's heavy for a guy low enough on love to get hurt like that.'
"Let me help, I'm used to having heavy guys on me."
'I'm usually on the heavy guys.'
>...wish...he...had...better...aiiiiimmmm...
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Spoiled Rich]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but we need to stop the fighting!
'ROCKET BARRAGE!'
DT unleashes a salvo of rockets.
"HOMING ARROWS!"
Cadence intercepts them with arrows.
>PINK LIGHTNING KICK!
She goes into a flying kick towards Spoiled Rich only to be stopped mid-air by a power hoof and slammed to the ground. DT raises her hoof for a powered punch, but gets stopped when a whip holds her hoof back.
"She's a Dream Eater! Don't get fooled!"
'I don't care!'
Yanks Cadence towards herself and punches Cadence.
'She's exactly who I dreamed of!'
>Her image is there, but you can't let her manipulate and change you!
'But she loves me! GATLING CANNON!'
Pinkie runs up a tree as bullets tear it down.
"Her love is fake! There's a lot of things I don't know, but I do know love! Please listen to me. That monster you call your mom doesn't love you one bit! BINDING ARROW!"
She fires a net.
'FLAMETHROWER! Not like it matters! One day you'll all leave me! They always leave! It's all one big dream and when we wake up it'll be like it never happened. This is fine! BEAM CANNON!'
Cadence rolls and fly out of the way.
>We're your friends! Dream or not, friends don't abandon each other! PINKIE HUG!
She tackle hugs DT.
>Help me Cadence!
"CADDY HUG!"
They group hug DT and TBDRLIATU falls to the ground.
'Let go!'
>DT, I want you to listen to me. If you let her feed on you, you won't wake up. We won't be able to see you again. Those that actually care about you will be really really REALLY sad.
"She means us. We may not meet in real life, but we actually do care...so please don't leave us."
'...tch...SENTRY MODE!'
TBDRLIATU turns into a sentry turret and takes aim. Pinkie and Cadence hold tight.
'SEXY FIRE!'
TBDRLIATU fires a barrage of bullets and rockets at Spoiled.
[Sweetie no! ARGH!!!]
*DAKKADAKKADAKKABOOOM*
'It's Diamond Tiara, you bitch.'
>>27412802
Now I know they're doing it, and they wish him pain.
>>27413084
>Hugs failed
Lies!
>>27413308
It didn't fail. TBDRLIATU fired at Spoiled Rich.
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
~??~
~~~~
>…Huh.
“Did… did we do this?”
>It all depends on how this ends up.
“What do you mean?”
>I’m just saying, this is definitely either your fault, or all my doing.
“So, which is it?”
>Well clearly I don’t know which one it is right now, obviously.
“Oh… when will you know?”
>Gimme a minute.
“Okay!”
~Grrragghh, gragghh ghggaah!~
>…Yep… that bear is deeefintiely trying to teach those kids fire safety.”
“Reaaly?”
>That’s the impression I’m getting from him.
“Oh. YAY!”
>Yay indeed, for I have used my amazing weather captain abilities to command not only my followers, but the very beasts of the earth as well! Celebrate me!
“Looks like you did really good-uh oh.”
FWOOSH!
“Guess demonstrating is a bad idea when you have fur. And now he’s clawing everyone in his pain and they’re not getting up because I have just realized he is still a bear and bears are big.”
>WHAT DID YOU DO!?
“But you said-“
>That this was all your stupid idea! PROVE ME WRONG! Why did you think a bear could handle matches!?
“…I’m not well versed in animal behavior.”
>>27412590
There shouldn't be, Two was originally Applejack Two, before all the lings just changed it. As there was no Applejack One, there is no Changeling One.
>>27413545
Oh yeah. Apple Prime is Number One. And Apple Prime is Applejack.
>AJ
“Chrysalis”
‘Celestia’
(SA)
~~~~
>Well, that went about as well as expected.
“So, not at all?”
>Yep.
‘I think you did a fine job, Applejack. This is what they needed to hear.’
>…So then why didn’t you say it?
‘Because… Shiny, help me out.’
(You had to prove yourself as a princess..)
‘Yes, that. Lesson learned, Applejack, good job!’
>Startin’ ta’ see why we stopped writin’ ya’ letters.
‘That’s hurtful, I miss those letters.’
“Aww, poor Celly. Here, I’ll write you one to cheer you up. Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned to throw someone completely unrelated to the cataclysm that just occurred at a mob in events when you are reducing or belittling their accomplishments in the event they turn on the speaker, that way any backlash falls on them, not myself.”
‘…’
>She’s kinda gotcha there.
‘Dear Queen Chrysalis, today I learned that if you’re going to lock the only possible pony who could foil your plans away, maybe don’t leave her unguarded with easy access to the exit.’
“…”
>Point ta’ Celly.
(Dear friends, I’ve learned today that we all might be a little more petty than we knew.)
>Dear Shinin’ Armor, shut up and let me have mah’ fun.
“Dear Celestia, it’s your rear, we don’t know what we did but we’re sorry, stop trying to make us explode via cake.”
‘Dear Chrysalis, it’s your rear, we’re so very hungry and thin, please help.’
(Dear Applejack, this is going to end with lasers.)
>Dear Shinin’ Armor… get the popcorn.
>>27414014
Look into the future, shining.
That's what will happen if you marry them.
>>27414014
>Chitania
~~~~
>…what the fuck ever happened to Mister Popcorn anyway?
>>27414128
All that and no Snu Snu make Shiny take a visit to Twilight.
>>27414261
Still in disrepair in Chitty's hotel. Last mentioned right before the Fillydelphia fight. Then she got distracted with getting Gwens poison, then Canterlot library, then 13, now sunset.
>DT
“???”
~~~
The filly skipped down the hallway, rocket launcher on her back, and she didn’t care who saw.
>I’ve got a lovely bunch of ice creeeeam! Here it is just sitting in my hooooof! Big one, swirly one, the cold goes right to my head! Give it a lick, hope I don’t feel sick, and now I’ll eat you up, NOM!... Ahhh, nothing tastes better than a good old-
“…”
She now cared.
>…
“…”
>…Spike.
“Diamond Tiara.”
>Nice to see you again.
“Been a while.”
>Long while, yeah.
“You been doing good?”
>Got my own toyline coming out, it’s cool.
“Nice, very nice.”
>….
“…You have a great singing voice-“
>Shut up or I’ll make TBDRLIATU shut you up.
“Oh, gonna call your coltfriend on me? Really?’
>Says the dragon literally carrying around a gun that talks to him.
“Fair enough, but I wouldn’t threaten me like that. Just putting it out there, I can probably draw faster than you-“
She hadn’t even moved, and the missile had fired.
“HOW DID YOU DO THA-“
It wasn’t leathal, but he would be flying for a good long while.
>I didn’t… he just knows.
She gave her weapon a pat, confirmed she was alone, and got back to skipping.
>I’ve got a lovely bunch of ice creaaam!
>>27414772
This is how you get fucking terminators!
>>27414899
Pedophile terminators! Which is worse somehow!
>Chitania
“???”
~~~~
>I’m starting to debate trying to shuffle outside. What do you think?
“KILL THE MEXICOLTS!”
>That’s a wild stance, but I support your right to have it. What about you?
“I just wanna talk about the latest issue of Chitania’s Crushers.”
>It’s on the legislature, we’ll talk about after this thing. You?
“I hate chiggers.”
>Wow, I’m right here, but I understand your stance, so I’ll allow it. Anyone else?
“Are you going to actually try to move this time, or are we just going to go on repeat for the fifth time?”
>Hrmmm, an interesting query, and we will have to go back to that. Now, next on the agenda, motion of ‘should I try to shuffle outside’, what are the opinions?
“SADDLE ARABIANS ARE TERRORISTS!”
>Interesting….
>>27415112
>C//_+aiuodha_liuodhp_wda-ada+fjsda-adoawdi
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Error: Directive Conflict+Designation Conflict.
>Terminator: Extermination of all organic life.
>Pedophile: To Love and make Love to adolescent sentient organics.
>Termination of all organic life conflicts with giving love to adolescents.
>Determining potential solutions...
>Processing...
>Processing...
>Processing Complete
>Solutions Determined: 1
>Solution: Adolescent Organics will be Loved during Termination and given Love immediately after Termination.
>Initiating Foalcon Termination Protocols.
>>27415403
>>27415368
>Pictured, more politics than AJ has done in a year
>>27414899
>TBDRLIATU NOO! It doesn't have to be this way! It's all about who you choose to be! Remember! You are not a gun!
"..."
>...
"..."
>...Wait... shit.
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~
>...you know how much easier it would be if we could just wipe out everyone's mind?
"This is entrapment. You are entrapping me, and not in the sexy shackles kind."
>I'm serious. Sometimes I wish we could just... I don't know, hold up a magic turnip, and then everyone just believes what we're saying, and understands the truth.
"..."
>I know, it's stupid, but sometimes the hardest part is just making them believe it, you know? How much easier would life be if I just had my turnip and next time Chitania walked up I was like, "This is what actually happened!" and they were just like "Oh I see, that's what that was!" No paranoia, no fighting, just... yep, that's how it is, that's the truth.
"..."
>Wouldn't that be nice?
"Trust me, it's a lot more painful than it sounds."
>What? How so?
"Just... believe me on this one."
>...oh! I see what you're doing, clever.
"Heh, yeah... clever."
>You didn't Hah.
"..."
>...Drop it?
"Please."
>Consider it dropped.
"Heh, sometimes honesty great... but trust is way better."
>...You know it's going to bug me for days now-
"HAH!"
>Thought so.
Hey, I just thought of something... what the fuck ever happened to 41/Sp?
>>27416304
Last seen being dragged away by SP's crazy aunt, and then apparently put in her rape dungeon or something.
>>27416304
...I knew I forgot to do something.
>>27416419
Don't you hate when you forget to continue your own thing?
>>27416515
Well I didn't want to interrupt the great big kaiju fight with silly wrestling stuff. And then it just kind of fell into my subconscious
Screw it, I'll scrap the arc and just do some gags.
>>27416665
Since when has interrupting for side silly ever been a problem?
>>27414343
Chitty came back after the Fillydelphia Fight to finish repairing him, it's in the epilogue.
She had it before she headed out to go see the Griffions, so it should be near there.
Goodnigh, thread.
>>27417521
Nighg, Indeed.
>>27417521
Not quite morning yet, but I feel like it should
>>27416129
[AJ bolts back to tree of Harmony for another go]
>>27418188
Morning enough for you?
LEVEL 10 EMERGENCY BOOP!
>>27419378
Saturdays, I swear.
>>27419702
Its strange isn't it? You would think there would be at least SOME activity beforehand, am I right?
>10
“Printer”
{BBB{
~~~~
>Hey, bud? We gotta print more papers!
“For the love of Faust, mare! SHE CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!”
>We gotta! Princess Applejack just made a huge announcement, we gotta be on top of that!
“Must you do this every single time there’s a big reveal or change!? That happens every second! Why don’t you just do it once a day like normal ponies!?”
>Because they need to know the truth now, as it’s happening, and not a second later! We just can’t wait!
“But this wastes so much paper and ink!”
>We recycle, isn’t that right, BBB?
{BZZT! All papers are made of 80 percent or greater reused material!}
>That number!
“But it just keeps piling up!”
>Look, if you have a way we can give out news every single second of every single day and just cut to big stuff whenever it drops, I would loooove to hear it.
“…I guess that’s true, but there’s got to be an easier way!”
>Someday, my stallion, someday. But for now… print!”
“Fine, but I don’t like it.”
>Nobody does. Print!
{BZZT! I like it!}
“…”
{This Unit enjoys the clanking noises.}
>Hey, you do you, BBB, don’t let anyone decide what you like.
“…I do not get paid enough for this shit.”
>>27420046
Fuzzy and the Buzz, you are needed.
>>27420388
>multimedia corporation in the making
YES
>Twilight eventually brings TV into Equestria
>FnB still stay on radio and make jokes about their faces not being suitable for the screens
>>27420046
That dude's gonna be extra pissed when the news 32 got shot comes in AFTER he prints the first thing.
>>27422122
"Are you kidding me!?"
>Never a dull moment!
"Aarreeggghhh!"
{Error! Subject is not a member of the apple family! Conflicting data!}
NC
>Pinkie Pie
"Other Pinkie Pie"
~~
>...show yourself, changeling!
"I'm not a changeling!"
>Yes you are! Only a changeling could pull off that mane!
"But I'm not!"
>Then what are you!
"An idiot sandwich!"
>...let me ask that again, if you're not a changeling, what are you!
"I'm you!"
>...oh Faust above TWIIIIIIIILLLLIIIIIIIGHT YOU MISSED ONE!
>>27422310
>TFW not home and miss all the jokes because you haven't seen the episode.
>Spitfire
“Mane-Iac’
~~~
>Help.
“AHHHHAHAHAHAHA!”
>Help me.
“AHHHHHHAHAHAHAH!”
>Someone, please, help… heelllpppppp!
“AHHHHHAHAHAHAH!”
>HELLLLLLLP!
“AS YOU WISH! FIRESTAAARRRRR!”
DING!
“I can grab the brownies without mittens!”
>Oh thank goodness! But, wait, is it safe to put your hair near the oven?
“…”
>It is not.
“...Do you smell smoke?
>>27422970
I love the rise of all the new comedy duos we've been seeing.
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
‘???’
~~~
>…
“…Did you-“
>No. I had no part of this, I WANT no part of this, none of this is on me. I want to believe, for real this time, that it wasn’t actually you, but I have seen darkness and I no longer believe in the goodness in the heart of ponies. It has been tainted, and I don’t know if I will ever be the same.
“It wasn’t me.”
>I believe you, but that only raises further questions. Why would anyone do this? What could they possibly hope to achieve? What monsters… what horrible monsters…
‘Excuse me, have you all seen… Oh there you are! Silly gummy, how’d you end up in that toilet? Ohhh you, always popping out of crazy places!’
>…
‘Thanks for finding him! I-… What is that all over the walls?’
“…”
‘Oh… um… were you-‘
>MONSTER!
‘Gummy has a… weird sense of humor.’
“So since it’s your pet, will you help us clean it up?”
‘I would, but I’m actually in canterlot right now.’
>What!? That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard, you’re literally-GAH!
“HOLY SMOKES! I just blinked and she’s… gone!”
>BURN THE PINK WITCH!
“That’s illegal.”
>WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER ABOUT THE PINK WITCH! WHY WOULD SHE MAKE THAT THING DO THAT?! WHYY!?
“Aligators have odd senses of humor.”
NC
>Rarity
"Applejack"
>Wow Applejack
"Wow what?"
>I didn't know you were such a FUCKING PUSHOVER!
"Rare, no"
>OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON DASH'S UNECONOMICAL HIRING PRACTICES
>>27423609
And now we know why she keeps letting Chitty off the hook. And why Dash let not one but two old rivals into the WB's without so much as a test.
>Gambling
“Changeling”
~~~
>…I’m worried.
“About the fire? They assure me they have it under control.”
>No, not that, it’s that I laid out all the traps, and my target hasn’t come by to gamble yet. I laid out all his favorite games, but he hasn’t shown up yet.
“Maybe he’s trying to fix Canterlot?”
>…OH FUCK! What if he got squished!?
“Then… hooray?”
>Not hooray! I never got my money out of him! All that effort, wasted!
“He’s probably not dead, you know.”
>You… you’re right, I’m being too paranoid, but this has opened my eyes! Next time I see him, I’m collecting for once, instead of just piling on the money! Cash out while it’s hot, that’s the rule of the game!
“How’s he going to pay you back?”
>Oh, he’ll pay up. One way… or another.
“Is it organs? Are you going to sell his organs?”
>…
“Because I have a guy who’s interested in those.”
>…
“That guy is me. I’m interested.”
>…
“Can I call dibs on the kidney right now?”
>…
“Dibs.”
>…We’ll play this by ear.
“Good. Because on that note, I was wrong, that fire is not under control.”
FWOOSH!
>MY BLACKJACK TABLE!
“We should probably run.”
>>27424350
Holy shit, maybe he is dead.
>>27424469
/pa/'s first causality, and nobody knew.
Or cared.
>>27424579
Gambling cared.
Gambling does.
>2
“42”
‘13’
~~~
>So, what did ya’ find out?
“It turns out, someone did register the name. Both Applejack One, and Changeling One.”
‘Who!?’
“Apparently, both are trademarked by… Queen Chrysalis.”
>…Not-mom’s real name is Applejack One!? DUN DUN DUNNNN! WHAT A TWIST!
‘She seriously named herself Changeling One? Even mom isn’t boastful enough to pull that.’
“No no, she just trademarked it.”
>Oh… what’s that mean?
“Applejack one is just a brand. It seems it’s one for… a very successful line of toilets.”
‘…’
>Not-mom makes toilets?
“No, she licensed it out for next to nothing. Apparently just so that they’d make it, and the actual manufacturers were keen on getting name brand recognition, with the new princess title it was a slam dunk.”
‘Huh… so-‘
“So right now, even if they don’t know it, Canterlot Castle is mostly full of toilets bearing the name… Applejack.”
‘…Huh.’
>Mystery solved, good work team!... Who’s tellin’-
“Me.”
>…
“I have to see her face. I have to.”
‘…Film it.’
“Oh, I’m going to.”
>Applejack’s gonna be so happy she’s got her own toilet brand!
“So very, very happy…”
>>27425062
>All of Canterlot is shitting on Applejack
Poetic.
>>27425062
This is literally perfect
LITERALLY
PERFECT
The timing could not have been better, my fucking sides are obliterated.
Thank you, anon, for making my day.
>>27425191
Fits too well, doesn't it?
>>27425488
It's literally AJ's time there in a nutshell.
Canterlot shits all over her an Chrysalis just laughs.
>>27423569
>Pinke going full Discord
Fuck.
>>27425191
>>All of Canterlot is shitting on Applejack
Help
It hurts
Too much laughter
>AJ
“Twilight”
‘Fluttershy’
(Dash)
{Pinkie}
~~~
>And ta’ the surprise of no one at all, accordin’ to them there polls, Ah’m the least popular princess.
“I’m so sorry, I know it was hard enough on you.”
‘Where am I on that?’
“FLUTTERSHY!”
(Am I on the list too? I know I’m not a princess, but I feel like I should be.)
“I can’t believe you!”
{I’m at least higher than Fluttershy, right?}
“What is wrong with you all!? Clearly, this is nothing more than a twisted popularity contest! We shouldn’t be judged by who’s the ‘favorite’, but if our actions are just or not-“
>Twi, yer’ almost at the top right now.
“But all the same I think we should remember these are the ponies we set out to serve and take it into consideration.”
>Really?
(Pfft, this is just because of one little scandal where it turns out I’m making a changeling do my job, isn’t it?)
{And I’ll just bet everyone way overreacted to my city almost crushing everyone! JERKS!}
‘Oh, I knew I shouldn’t have almost bathed the world in endless chaos…’
>Clearly, our public are fickle and easy to turn against us, and are way too keen to turn on us after we almost wreck the world.
“…”
‘…’
(…)
{…Anyone else really need a drink right now?}
>>27426274
Near the top? Who the fun is at the tip of that failburg?
>>27426274
+Luna+
~~~
+Praytell, this poll intrigued us! How did we fair on it? We are aware it is unjust, for we are your elders and thus far more recognized. But we are confident that our subjects-+
"Uhm... most Ponies asked the interviewers 'Princess who now?' In response to them asking for you to be placed."
+...+
>...
"..."
'...'
(...)
{...}
+OH GLORIOUS MOON, I SUMMON THEE TO CRUSH THE IGNORANT!+
>"'Gah!'"
>>27426410
Let's face it, we all knew she was going to do it eventually.
There's a reason Celly learned to hold it back.
>>27426410
>>27426617
One day...
>SA
“Cadence”
‘18’
~~~~
>That’s about the gist of it.
“Uh huh.”
>So now all we’re doing is waiting.
‘I see.’
>And… that’s about it.
“Riiight?”
>…So, who’s feeling that neato place with the gyros?
‘Aren’t we going to talk about… your feelings”
>No idea what you mean.
“Just feelings on certain matters, is what we’re saying.”
>I’m totally lost.
‘Are you going to be as, let’s say, forgiving, now that you know the truth?’
>Of course! What kind of stallion do you take me for?
“…”
>On an unrelated note, how’s our current upgrades to our missile defense forces coming?
‘Shiny-‘
>It’s completely unrelated I swear! I have no ill will nor do I wish to blow off anyone’s head!
“…”
>…Maybe I should ask Forty Two to take over the army for a bit.
“Good idea.”
>>27426750
>Putting a changeling in charge of your army in this climate.
Brilliant, that's why you're the prince.
>>27426639
>How /pa/ ends.
Tell me I'm wrong.
>>27427206
Nah, it's gonna be either
>Chitania has a fight with Faust and the world is collateral damage no matter who wins
or
>Celestia gets tired of this shit and resets the world
>Spitfire
“Mane-Iac”
~~
>Why is your hair back to normal?
“…Okay, even I’m not crazy enough not to see the strangeness in what you just said.”
>I mean your hair was burned a bit ago! BURNED!
“Yeah but that was forever ago.”
>It was an hour!
“How do you even remember that?”
>IT WAS AN HOUR AGO!
“It’s just been long enough we’re back to normal.”
>AN HOOOUUURRR!
“That’s just how these things work, time passes then you’re done.”
>….You know what? Screw it.
“GASP! Your words… you must be a really cool pony!”
>We are not doing that.
“Oh, no lessons for the kids? Okay… so are you going to get rid of those cigarettes?”
>WHERE THE HECK DID THESE COME FROM!?
“So mature.”
>STOP BEING CRAZY!
>>27427282
or
>Equestria as a whole is finally moved to a point of stability and AJ can only sigh with relief as she signs that last form
>>27427483
Or we could pull a Sopranos and we just cut to bl.
.
.
>>27427596
That would simultaneously piss me off and probably make me clap.
I could finally close a chapter of my life that's spanned two, going on three, years.I don't even think I want to write for whatever came after. Unless we called it a sequel or something.
>>27427282
Barf
>Spitfire
“Mane-Iac”
~~~
>…
“What is it, FireSpitter?”
>SO CLOSE!
“What?”
>Just say my name!
“I did, Spatter Rocket!”
>SAY MY NAME!
SMACK!
“Firebreather!”
>SAY IT!
SMACK!
“Wadflame!”
>SAY IIIITTTT!
SMACK!
“Phoenix Flier!”
SMACK!
“Firebrawler!”
SMACK!
“Flamemane!”
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!
>WHHYYYYY!?
>HH
“Jet”
~~~
>Jetters, that dinner back there… it… it was magical, l-like something straight outta those fairy tales I used to read!
“Then, by that same strand, does that make you the princess?”
>Hm? Oh, ha! Naw, if anythin’ I’d be one of the housemares, ya know? Workin’ for the princess and watchin’ her go off on those magical adventures… watchin’ while she experiences a free life and falls in love… Yeah. That type’a life ain't for mares like me, bein' a princess, heh.
“…I agree. Being a princess requires a staggering amount of regality, and you lack that in spades.”
A more privileged pony would have found that insulting, or, at the very least, worthy of a hoof to the face. But Honeyheart was too busy staring at the sky, watching with a never-ending wonder as that infinite canvass began to change colors with the coming night.
>Yup, don’t I know it...
Jetset moved closer, staring up as well.
“That’s what I used to think anyway, but… I’ve recently learned that poise is not a prerequisite in becoming a great princess. Like my second queen, the one I would imagine no on favors at the moment, Applejack. Not a shred of elegance to found, and yet she’s more deserving of the title ‘princess’ now more than any other.”
>…Really?
“Greatness comes in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life, Honey. It takes more than glitz and glam to become a princess, you have to be able to make the shitty call, even if it’s unfavorable or one that pushes you out of others good graces. I’m not saying it’s a sure thing, but if an ordinary farm mare from such a rustic background can become a princess, well, I wouldn’t be so quick to rule anything out.”
Her heart swelled, so much so that talking was made a rather strenuous task.
>Wow, thanks. N-not just for that… for comin’ at all, Jetters.
1/?
>>27428008
“Speaking of, why did you summon me in that fashion in the first place? I know I didn’t put a severity level on that special vial I gave you but due to it’s unique nature, I figured it’d be obvious. And that stallion from earlier didn’t seem like much of a threat….”
>Oh, no… no, he wasn’t. Matter o’fact, he was a nicer, funnier version of the usual perverts I have to deal with….
“…”
>W-what?
“I’m… just wondering. If that’s the case, why hadn’t you summoned sooner, for those incidents?”
The smile that Honeyheart leveled Jetset with was picturesque in every sense of the word: it was gentle, yet powerful; content, yet somber.
>’Cause I’m used to it, silly.
That should not have affected him like it did, with all the force of a punch dead to the chest, but it did, and it hurt.
Usually quick with his words, Jetset found that he had nothing in storage to reply with, which left him feeling frustrated in the void her answer had created.
>But you know what I’m not used to?
Still, nothing but cold quiet.
She scooted closer to him, close enough that her messy mane tickled just under his chin.
>The easy way….
“Meaning?”
>I’m not a princess, Jetters, just a housemare. And housemares can’t just skip up the ladder to bein’ a princess! I don’t think that makes for good royalty, right?
“I don’t… what in Equestria are you talking about…?”
>I’m sayin’ go home.
Again, another verbal left hook that left the agent flummoxed.
“Go- did you say go home? But you summoned me and-”
>I didn’t mean to. Don’cha know that stallion from earlier was tryin’ rub all on my hips? Tch, I couldn’t very well just let that happen sooooo I dodged this way!
As if sidestepping some invisible swipe, Honeyheart pivoted left.
>Then I dodged thatta way!
She quickly shifted to Jetset’s right, tail raised.
>And then I dodged a liiiiittle too much and your vial fell outta my baggie here…
2/?
>>27428029
It had to be the most obvious of lies ever spawned by ponykind, as Honeyheart would be the first to admit that she didn’t have a deceitful bone in her body, so it came as a bit of a shock when Jetset focused his attention purely on her. He stared, and he stared, motionless, for what felt like hours, before reaching out and rustling her mane, further mussing it up.
She expected him to say something, probably toss out a jibe toward her weak attempt at lying, even if he didn’t know the reason why, but what she didn’t expect him to do was take off his shades. He took them off, spared a few seconds to read some un-seeable inscription on the leg, then fit them rather nicely on Honeyheart’s face.
Now, now thoroughly confused and with her heart beating miles quicker than was normal, she expected him to speak, to give an explanation behind this ‘gift’, maybe laugh to himself and take them right back. But he did not take them back, nor did he speak. He merely turned around, cloak flaring, and started walking, becoming nothing right before her shielded eyes.
>…
The shades were really comfortable, she quickly realized, glancing any and everywhere. It was automatically apparent to her that these weren’t your ordinary shades, given the differing hues that outlined passerby on both the ground and in the air, hues of a soothing green, hues of a warning red, numbers measuring distance, analyzed building schematics…
>Wooooooow….
Her gasp of awe was near-foalish, and surely to whomever happened to catch sight of her, turning this way and that, gasping and jumping at virtually nothing, she must seem rather mental. But she didn’t care. She didn’t care about appearances much, especially not right now.
3/4
>>27428044
For she wasn’t a princess, she was only a housemare. And housemares didn’t have knights like Jetset to protect them. They had to earn that special right, prove their worth. And somehow, though his silence was baffling and his actions beyond questionable, Honeyheart knew she had gotten her point across, and that he had understood her perfectly.
…Just as she understood that the rapidly approaching, all-too-casual stallion outlined in a lukewarm red glow was probably not in her best interest to meet, so she quickly merged into a passing group of giggling mares and kept moving.
Making it to Canterlot on her own would not be easy, she realized, and she joined in the chorus of mindless giggles even though she hadn’t a clue what they were laughing at. She didn’t have the means to get there in any legal fashion, and what funds she did have was for all intents and purposes already spent. She would have to blend in to make it there. Gifting her these miraculous shades meant Jetset must have realized that….
>Ha… still actin’ like my knight, eh? Well, just you wait, Jetters.
She straightened her new eyewear with a nervous smirk.
>This time, I’m comin’ to see you!
4/4
>>27428056
That was straight up adorable.
>>27428056
You know, i like this character. Fits the AJ archtype of just wanting to be a hard working mare, but is her own thing.
I dig her.
>>27428169
Right? Simple, but effective, and she and JS work.
>>27428044
>The shades were really comfortable, she quickly realized, glancing any and everywhere. It was automatically apparent to her that these weren’t your ordinary shades, given the differing hues that outlined passerby on both the ground and in the air, hues of a soothing green, hues of a warning red, numbers measuring distance, analyzed building schematics…
...Where the fuck did he get those!?
>>27428330
I'm gonna assume he always had them. They were always mentioned, just not what they did. Guess we know now.
Also, secret agent. Does that really surprise you?
>>27428430
>Also, secret agent. Does that really surprise you?
Well, yeah. That shit is REALLY useful, but we've never seen him use them like that. Or at all, they've just been sunglasses up till now.
Who gave him those and why have they been hoarding some amazing technology? Does Celly have a Q we've never seen, that's apparently on Twilight's level?
I must know, for story! Who gave him those badass things?
>>27428467
Hmmm... Celestia? Weren't they engraved with a message from her or something in an earlier story? Or am I tripping?
Now that you mention it, it would suck if Double-H got those shades snatched. Jet would raise holy hell.
>>27428494
>Hmmm... Celestia?
Celly doesn't have any advanced technology, it can't be her. I want to say Twilight made them, but she's never even heard of him at the start, and Jetset doesn't really like her or think highly of her.
...Fuck who could have given him glasses that can do all that?
>>27428529
>Celestia requests a piece of tech from Twilight
>Doesn't tell her what it's for
>done
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
"and me too."
>Actually, Ah' wanted ta' ask something.
"Oh?"
>Why'd you switch to the cinnamon scented candles?
"...I thought it'd be nice to try something different."
>Go back to vanilla cookie dough. They smell better. It's a softer pleasant smell.
"Why Applejack...you never told me you actually like my scented candles~"
AJ scrunches up.
>They...smell nice. It's soothing to come back to a room that smells nice okay? The cinnamon is too strong.
Rarity makes a catty expression.
"And here I thought somepony was too rough and tough for the smell of Vanilla Cookie Dough, so you do have a soft side. Eh? Ehhh?"
Nudge nudge and a wink.
>Not as soft as you'll be if you don't stop that.
"There's so much of my world that I want to show you."
Waves her hoof to the room.
"Come with me...and you'll see."
Flowers rise out of nowhere.
"..a world of pure reeelaxation~"
>Nope. Nope. We're ending now. Ah'm not going to go into a full song and dance over this. This was more mah problem, but consider it fixed. Thanks for joining me on...the Fireside.
"Jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack sat on a scented stick."
>Ah' swear Rarity. Ah' swear to anypony up above that Ah' knew you were going freaking do that if Ah'-
>>27428556
If that's the case, I guess Twi isn't his second Queen because at some point JS went 'Wait, she's able to make glasses that can do all this, but she never gives them to literally anyone else, like the failing soldiers or her 'little brother' who uses a gun that would benefit greatly from this or asks what they're for?...Wow, what a dick.'
I guess it works, though.
>>27428556
>Celly requests a piece of tech from Twi
>retools the fuck out of it
>makes it better, streamlines it
>"to see all that threatens Equestria"
>done
>>27428623
That is the third time we've used "Pure Imagination"
It never stops being funny.
>>27428625
You don't give everything to everyone just because it helps. That's just life. Maybe they should have become agents, too.
>>27428669
>Maybe they should have become agents, too.
Like Spike did?
>>27428711
When did Spike become an agent on the same level and authority as Jetset? When did I miss that?
>>27428753
When they sent him to infiltrate and take down an airship, in addition to giving him the authority to arrest and EXECUTE someone on sight. He's done more onscreen agent wise than Jetset has.
So, thread... Seven, at the latest?
>>27428771
Onscreen maybe, but Jet still went through all the legitimate training and being by Celestia's side for a hellish long time ever since he was a foulmouthed neighsayer, plus age and experience. So yeah, I can completely see him being the progenitor and sole owner for those shades, at least for right now.
>>27428845
That still doesn't make any sense, she's the one who gave Spike the gun, she sent him to take down a terrorist with an ARMY, who gives a fuck about 'legitimate training'? He's clearly assigned to something way above anything Jetset's ever done, but she didn't give him some shades that would help with his shooting of the many robots trying to kill him? Whaaa?
What kinda backwards ass world is Equestria where royalty will just hand you a magically enhanced small arms but then turn around and say you need to earn your Google glass AFTER you fight the traitor trying to enact a coup with killer robots?
>>27428887
It's a magical land, anon.
>>27428887
>Spike, here's your gun, you now have authority to kill someone.
"Neat! Can I get the shades too?"
>Are you insane!? You have to go through no less than two years of physical training, take two written tests, an oral exam, and you have to sing the cloudsdale national anthem, backwards! You're a ways off from that, mister, so you take your deadly weapon and you march right out that door to go fight terrorists or anyone who threatens Equestria.
"...Can't I just ask Twilight?"
>NO!
"..."
>...Don't ask Twilight, I didn't tell her I was using these to make my secret agent better.
"This would probably revolutionize construction, actually."
>Mneh mneh mneh, I'm Spike, I want to use the kickass shades for boring stuff like infrastructure and keeping more than one guy safe, even though these just give information and nothing else!
"..."
>This is why I only have the one secret agent and he's prevented a whopping zero disasters, I'm not very good at this.
>>27428887
Different tools for different types of agents, anon
Charity is much more of a cowboy's tool
The Shades are the tool of a spy
>>27428887
>who gives a fuck about 'legitimate training'?
Her, obviously.
>He's clearly assigned to something way above anything Jetset's ever done
Considering Jetset's has been in the game presumably long than Spikes been alive, I would disagree with that. That's just what we've seen, which can be enough I suppose.
>where royalty will just hand you a magically enhanced small arms
Not. Surprising. At all. They've made dumber calls.
>>27428931
I can roll with it.
>>27428969
And what if Twilight revamped them for him at some point in the past?
>>27429008
Again, different tools for different types of jobs.
A spy needs that information much more than a gunslinger does.
A gunslinger needs that firepower much more than a stealthy spy does.
Also, for all we know, Charity gives him that information, it's got a lot of magic in it.
>>27428968
It gets better!
"So, what has he actually used these things for?"
>Tracking down Chitania.
"...But he never-"
>Never found her, no. He also could not have done anything to her had he found her. In fact, he would have been pretty much useless had he actually located her.
"Like he's been during every cataclysm? He made at least two of them way worse."
>Hey! He did other stuff, probably! We just didn't see it!
"This is also dodging the point that TWILIGHT made the infrastructure analyzing and fixing glasses and never gave them to anyone else, or for that matter she joined me in the middle of a fight against the airship but didn't wear them, nor give them to Seventy Seven, who was currently tracking someone down and was an extremely experienced infiltrator at least on Jet's level, if not better. Also, she didn't give them to me... I probably could have used those while Flash was kicking my ass."
>I told her not to!
"And she'd rather a lot of ponies die than just give away the thing she made anyway, even in her "Science at all costs" mode?"
>...
"..."
>...
"...I believe it."
>>27429067
"This isn't even getting into the fact that these would have prevented me from accidentally knocking Chitania out of the way of Luna's attack.
>I get it.
"And then there's the fact they would have been useful during Cordyceps, when we were trying to sneak around and Twilight knew we needed to sneak around."
>I get it.
"And wow, when we got 12 back! WOW would those have been useful!"
>I geeeett ittttt.
"And just right now! RIGHT NOW they would have been worth their weight in gold just to know what we were throwing her into-"
>I GET IT OKAY!
>>27429048
A gunslinger needs information on where he's shooting, readouts on locations where other targets could be hiding, a building plan to know where any surprise attacks might come from, wind speed to aim his shots and even something like how high up he is in case he or his target try to make an escape, oh and that 'soothing green and warning red' would probably help not shooting an innocent by accident.
Despite a shitload of situations where he needed all of that, Charity has never done those things, so we can assume it doesn't have them.
Spike wasn't a gunslinger when he jumped onto an airship, he was someone working his way into a terrorists compound to stealthily take them out. Jetset doesn't need them half as much as Spike does, as his job is to blend in and not be noticed. Sunglasses are always noticable.
>>27429173
Then I reckon it's a shame Spike got the gun and Jetset got the shades.
Still, in the end, what they got suits them better.
>>27429115
"And then we get into-"
>FINE! Fine! You caught me! They give you brain cancer!
"...what."
>They do! How do you think it can scan fucking buildings like that? It's magically radioactive! It would swell up his brain enough to fit in a beach ball if we didn't stay on top of it! It's dangerous, and risky, but he uses it anyway because he's dedicated to Equestria!
"...So he doesn't like Twilight-"
>Because she had to cancer punch his face in every other day, yes. Would you like her in that situation?
"This makes way too much sense."
>So sorry I only gave ONE pony cancer!
>>27428330
Where? That story is coming. I'm kind of happy no one's guessed it yet.
>>27429246
I admit, you've got me stumped. The only other science based ponies are PD and Screwloose, but the latter is biology based and doesn't know shit about technology, so we'd literally have to retcon in "Oh and by the way Screwloose can also make super advanced magical sunglasses even though she can't use magic and was locked up during the tech boom caused by Twilight. How?... hrgmgmg..."
I'm stumped, but can't wait to see the answer.
>>27429261
>but the latter is biology based and doesn't know shit about technology,
Aside from those dumb stories where she could call AJ's horn with a phone in a mental asylum, but we NC'd those.
Because what.
>Lavan
There was no one there. Where once was the changeling embassay was nothing but a pile of rubble, a crude desk, and a small puddle of blood.
>Odd...was someone cut? That seems like it would happen when conducting diplomacy on ruins...
The firey face of the supposedly reformed abomination screwed itself up in thought.
>Hmm...well the friendly bug has been very nice to me, and I have already swept a great deal of the city with my broom...perhaps...
Two disembodied eyes glanced this way and that.
>It's not a valley, it's a house. I can fix a house with magic, of course!
With a smile and nod, he went to work, reaching out with eldritch power to put the home of his friend back together.
He spared a glance at the horrified ponies behind him.
>Worry not, friends! I am no threat! Meaning no harm, ha, this pleases me.
The screams and running away meant he succeeded.
Duh.
>Just a little more and...yes!
The embassay stood once more, proud, beautiful-
>-and completely normal!
Beaming with pride, Lavan floated through the front door, happy that he had done well for his friends.
Then realized he was somehow in the bedroom.
>...fiddlesticks.
>>27429317
I don't think 32 would mind that.
>>27429261
Huh. Never even considered those two. Neither of them are the answer but wow, heh.
>>27429380
As said, stumped, but a little hype. This could be interesting.
>Chrysalis
"AJ"
'???'
~~~~~~~
>So, now what?
"Nothin' yet, Ah' guess. We ain't got anythin' to do till they show their faces, we both know we can't find 'em if they don't want us to. We're just gonna have ta' wait, it's their move."
>Glorious. In the meantime, I think I'll... prepare.
"Kay."
>...I don't think you heard me, I said I think I'll... prepare...
"Gotcha the first time.'
>...You're not reacting.
"Nope."
>Whyyy?
"Who knows, maybe Ah' finally stopped seein' the dark side o' you every time ya' turned yer' head, maybe Ah'm confident ya' know what yer' doin', or maybe it just finally hit me yer' so desperate ta' ride Shinin' into the night that you'll actually probably put some effort into it, and maybe it'll work."
>...Huh. Got me there?
"Why're ya' still tryin' ta' rile me up?"
>It's fun to see how they react.
"They who?'
>The ones I know won't read too much into it.
"...heh."
>Hah!
"There it is. So, our plan gonna work?"
>Probably not, let's run it by Twilight once or twice before we move forwards on it.
"What do ya' know, ya' are smarter than ya' look."
>HAH! Well, in the meantime, let's hope nothing else goes wrong.
"Why would you do that!?"
>Do wha-
SLAM!
'PRINCESS! Someone just shot the changeling ambassador!'
>...
"...This is all yer' fault."
>>27429802
Finally, buddies!
They feel like real buddies now!
>>27429802
>It's not Celestia's fault
BULLSHIT
>>27429317
>Lavan: The living embodiment of 'Bless his heart'
Night thread
Don't be the worst like 32, then you won't get shot and have to listen to two dinguses say suggestive things over your hospital bed.
>>27431079
Mhmp
>>27431079
Gee mister, I don't want to be the worst...
>>27431079
>Contact
Hey!
...jj and act aren't that bad.
Which would be a worse way to go? Poonta or Snu Snu? I need to know your guy's opinions for reasons.
>>27432579
The hell is poonta?
>>27432579
>Poonta
Well that's fucking obscure...
>>27432622
>>27432663
Both of these.
>>27432237
Ys.
Yes they are.I love the, but they sre.
>>27432622
>>27432663
>>27432700
I guess snu snu is the answer!
OOCO
>AJ
“Raven”
~~~
>Knock, knock.
“Who’s there?”
>Applejack.
"Applejack who?"
>…really?
“Oh come on, you can’t start that and leave it hanging. No, you scoot your big orange ass right out of my office and try again.”
>…
“Yup, totally serious.”
>Ah’ swear to Faust… fine!
“…”
>Knock, knock!
“Whoooo’s theeerrreee?”
>A very annoyed mare lookin’ to buck a secretary….
“Aide!”
>Right, can Ah’ come in now?
“Did you bring the peach gummies rings you promised me last time?”
>Right here.
“MY DAY IS GREAT.”
>…green apple ones’re better.
“What was that?”
>Said Ah’ need yer’ signature on this here letter.
“Ah, lessee… new lodging documents? Who’s moving into the castle? And why?”
>Not movin’ in, she’s been here. Just… unofficially.
“I see. And just how unofficial is unofficially…?”
>’Member when loverboy an’ Blueblood an’ them went down underneath the castle?
“…”
>Yeeeeah, ‘bout that unofficial.
“Alright, see. Remember when all the changelings got pushed into the main hall? Remember that, all however-the-fuck-many of them, bunched up and causing all kinds of chaos?”
>Still wake up screamin’ ‘bout it, honestly.
“Just… all that paperwork, AJ. Like, fuck. I just- JUST- finished the last relocation forms for all those sons of bitches a few days ago! You get that? A FEW FUCKING DAYS AND THEY’VE BEEN GONE FOR THE LONGEST!”
>…So how’s that pack of icy-hoof goin’ Ah’ got fer’ ya? Help with the carpal tunnel?
“Yes, actually, thank you.”
>Good, now as ya’ were.
“Yeah, so, now, after all of that, you come telling me that your crazy ass action-junkie friends actually dragged up some unknown creature and want to give the thing residence in Canterlot castle? Our home where the princess of Equestria lives? Are you mad? Finally cracked under the pressure?”
1/2
>>27433521
>Well now, hold on, hold on, don’t go chokin’ on yer’ peach rings, that unknown creature’s a changeling. See? Better, right? No need to go makin’ new legislation or drafting another ‘dangerous critter’ form. We already know what this dangerous critter is, an’ she ain’t really even all that dangerous.
“You know, usually when ponies say that they don’t give this painful looking eye twitch.”
>Sorry, force’a habit. But she’s really not, jus’… she’s got like eight extra legs.
“Eight… legs.”
>Eight legs, yup.
“The fuck is she, half-spider?”
>…
“…Welp, my day WAS going great. Not even my peachies can turn this around…. Why didn’t she follow the others to the empire of Everything Is Sunshine and Diamonds?”
>Mostly ‘cause they don’t want nothin’ to do wit’ her. Trust me, Rave’, Ah’ll introduce y’all one day an’ you’ll see fer’ yourself, but fer’ right now, Ah need a joint signature so Ah’ can get her relocated. She’s currently stayin’ in the vents in mah’ office. That’s dangerous, fer’ anyone.
“…True. So you want to move her toooo… really?
>Yup.
“Why? I mean, I don’t mind, it’s the path of least paperwork, but why?”
>’Cause he’s the one who protects an’ takes care of her.
“…”
>Yeah, a far cry away from what he once was, right?
“Done. Here’s your copy, AJ.”
>Thanks, Rave’.
“And now that I’m curious, make sure you bring her by sometime, okay? And for the love of Faust, don’t hesitate to bring some of those new watermelon gummy rings.”
>Hawh, roger.
>>27431659
Well then, Sonny, don't be a guy who repeatedly declares he wants everyone to fuck him.
Not that hard.
>>27433532
>Arana Moving in with BB or Spike
I can dig it!
>>27433536
Remember when 32 had a character and wasn't just the straight man for the comedy skit version of 'If You Were Gay' from Avenue Q?
Me either.
>>27433671
But... he did? Back when he before his 'reformation' when he was very, very anti-Chrysalis and was actually interesting, even when he was trying to turn it around and try to increase pony-changeling communication while still being anti-Chrysalis.
Yeah, that. I miss that. Not that I mind the comedy skit, because comedy comes before anything, but it seemed like there was much more to him and it's been put on something of a pause.
>>27433738
I agree...though him drunk-apologizing to Chrysalis, 18, and 42 was fucking hilarious.
>Chitania
"???"
~~~
>...This is how I'm going to die, isn't it?
"Don't say that!"
"We believe in you! And if we had arms or legs, we would totally help you walk out!"
"But we can't, because we're rocks."
>This is how the Titan Queen finally meets her end. Not at the end of a long battle so grand it shook the world, not when the gods of the very world proved just beyond her capabilities, not even after being outwitted in a brilliant plot... not even when my daughter finally took her rightful place. No, after all of this, the last page of the book of my life is going to read 'and then she died alone in a cold, dark place. She did not even know where she was, and will not be found unless someone brings her there. Nothing but a hungry corpse in the shadows.'... this is how I die.
"But Chitania, you can still get out of here!"
"You just have to believe in yourself, you're strong!"
"Punch hunger, that'll work!"
>You know... it's not all bad, I suppose. Maybe Sunset was lost or vanished, and nobody will ever know I was down here. Perhaps it is better like this, to fade into the realms of their nightmares. I escaped, I could still be out in the world and ready to attack, and the silence will only scream louder. They will always fear the day of my return, knowing I grow stronger with every day, and every one added will only make the terror grow. Perhaps it is best if I become simply a legend, nothing more.
"Or you could blow up the world!"
"Then everyone will be dead!"
"Problem... solved."
>It would be nice... but then my daughter will always wonder if I abandoned her, if I did to her as she did to me, and she would be left as I was. Wondering if I was alive, but sure I had met my demise, and our last moment together was one so dark. I wish, at least... I could have given her the ability to become a Queen first. She would be... wonderful, I know she would.
"But not as great as you!"
"So go get up and be cooler!"
"Do it!"
1/4
>>27433912
>I wish I could have seen her... one last time.
Her eyelids were growing too heavy now. The sleep she had fought off so valiantly was at last taking it's toll, and every battle against it was a longer one than previous. This time, she felt her stern limbs buckling, her limbs growing stiff, and her mind growing fuzzy.
>I suppose I will have to wait to see her again.
Her Titanic head lurched forwards, the weight of her horn and her crown too much to keep aloft anymore, and even the voices began to fade.
"Chitty noooo!"
"You've got so many things left to punch!"
"You can... and then... win!.. winner.."
>I will wait for you, my child... in the hivemind.
On her thrown of makeshift stone and mossy rock, her body could move no more.
>When you get there... I can finally embrace you without fear.
"Chitania wait! Wa... it..."
Her eyes closed, and the voices called no longer.
>... Fuck this, I'm not dying like some loser.
She suddenly lurched forwards, her entire body slamming hard into the ground and sending ripples of pain and cracks along her skin.
>If they think... Queen Chitania... will lie here and die... they're wrong.
The world was growing black as she scraped her way along the ground, painful tears left behind with every stroke of her single hooves pull.
>I'm getting out there if I have to drag my half carcass ass clear back to Canterlot... I'm getting food if I have to fall on someone and smother them...
Though she moved towards what she knew was the exit, the light only grew dimmer.
>If the Gods think I can be felled this easily, they're wrong... bring it on, specter of death, when you show your ugly hide I'll punch you and come right back to life.
She grew weaker, the dark grew stronger, but she would not stop.
2/4
>>27433922
>I'll see her again... and it won't be when I'm a fucking ghost... if you think I'm going to see those assholes again so soon and have to tell them I died in a hole, you're wrong... I'm not seeing them again until I've overthrown heaven itself...
Even as she roared to herself, everything had grown quiet, her own voice a near whisper, and her pace had slowed.
>I'm not... dead... yet...
Finally, the room was black, and everything was silent.
She could not move anymore.
"Drama Queen."
Then came the light.
As if the sun had been reborn in a night of eternal darkness, the light filled the room, her head, her body, and her very soul. She gasped as the feelings of ache and pain reduced, the fires in her muscles put out one by one by waves of a magic that sent pleasurable sparks rocketing through her body. She did not merely feel better.
She felt alive.
As it kept coming, and coming, long after when she thought their limit would be reached, she couldn't help herself.
She stood up, threw her head back, and all the world heard the roar of Queen Chitania, reborn.
"...Loud! Very loud! Get that all out of your system?"
When she finally came back down from her euphoric, joyous feeling, when the haze of wonder that filled her mind cleared enough she could see through her own eyes once again, she looked down at her savior, the yellow unicorn with a smile on her face.
And she glared.
>Where have you been!?
That smile never even faltered under her roar, remaining stuck to her face despite the rushing air's attempt to push it back along with her hair.
"Oh, you know, just hopping around, getting some shopping done, chilling at the coffee shop, getting you the very lifeblood of love that is powering you right now and chasing off the specter of death, little things."
The Queen snarled, even if she could not deny that the feeling of simply being able to move was one of the grandest of sensations she had ever felt.
>What took you so long?
3/4
>>27433930
"Hey, you needed a lot of love. I got a... lot."
The Titan chose not to question the odd pause, instead stretching her limbs to work out the stiffness and deadness in her nerves.
>Was it really that difficult?
"Hmmm, nope. Not at all. Was actually pretty... you know, it was all really good. Learned something nice along the way."
Though she cared little for her appearance, even Chitania found the muck in her hair distasteful.
>Whatever. I will admit, you gained a rather sizable charge, and from the looks of things, you're not exactly weakened.
"Nope."
>Should we stay near here, then? If the supply is so great.
Sunset's eyes shimmered for a second, but it was gone before she could even notice them.
"No, we don't want to draw too much attention. If we stick around, someone might notice... and then we'll have a real problem."
It was odd, hearing real concern from a pony who thus far had given so little care to the world she would dance as her home burned. Rather that question it, the Titan thought it better to take it as it was, and treat it seriously.
>Very well. In that case, we should move on to the next town. I shall give you the locations of my stockpiles, that should help you pinpoint the best area to go.
The smile came back as the pony internally chuckled to herself, pleased the Titan remembered their old agreement.
"Excellent! But before we move on, there is one more thing we have to do."
>Oh? And what is that?
"I thought it would be obvious."
The smile, so warm and pleasing before, became absolutely wicked.
"We're going to get our shit back."
>...I like it.
Queen Chitania was alive again.
Soon, all of the world would know it... and fear.
"...Does that rock have a smiley face-"
>Do not ask.
"Is that a rubber duck? Where did you even get a-"
>Do. Not. Ask.
"...Where did you go to the bathroom-"
>DO NOT ASK.
"I really should have left some magazines with you or something."
>>27433922
>>... Fuck this, I'm not dying like some loser.
There's the Chitty I know.
>>27433922
>>... Fuck this, I'm not dying like some loser.
Spoken like a true champ. Get your bitch ass up. I might not like you all that much but I can't stand to see a pity-party.
>>27433989
>Literally dying
>Out of love
>Out of life
>No idea where she is
>Gets the fuck back up and starts crawling her ass to civilization.
Godzilla would be proud.
>>27433945
>"Hey, you needed a lot of love. I got a... lot."
They fucked.
I know the implication with the next line is that she actually learned he's nice and not everyone will stab her in the back, but I don't care. That will not dissuade me.
That is what happened.
OOCO/NC/WhateveryawantI'measy
>Twi
"AJ"
>Well, that's interesting...
"Twi, ah got yer burgers again, ya really need to start picking these up fer yerself."
>Applejack, good you're here, look at this!Spoiler Pic Here
"Are those Space Jellyfish?"
>Yes, I think. It's not clear, the Morlocks call them 'Tiyanki'.
"And that means?"
>Space whales.
"...now Ahm not exactly a biologist, but whales do NOT look like that."
>Listen, you're not paying attention. There was absolutely nothing in my files about any kind of life form like this.
"So the floating space tentacle blobs are about as real as Celly's 'Diet Cake', yer point?"
>The program made these creatures by itself, it's creating an entire universe from the ground up!
"And that was only kinda makin' yer computer run a little slow?"
>Yep, told you an 'Apple Computer' wouldn't run as well.
'HOW DO YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT THESE FUCKING THINGS!?'
>...I was in the human world too, I was just being cute, Sunset.
'...ugh.'
"She really needs ta chill out. Also say that Apple Computer thing again and Ahm smashin' the computer."
>>27434315
>It's making up it's own creatures
SMASH IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
LAST THREAD RECAP, THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE EDITION!
>Idris is a little miffed he didn't know about the mechmoth.
>OOCO Twilight makes a simulation where the world ended and Morlocks are the only survivors.
>Derpy and Cloudchaser get in to many an antic.
>Lucky, QS and SG are cleaning up the destroyed restaurant when Quicksilver falls through the hole Celestia made.
>Actarius stays with 32 while he sits in the destroyed building. Him and JJ keep making innuendos, and 32 is having none of it.
>PJ, angry that BB kept her from fighting, gets her revenge by shoving spuds into Blueblood's mouth.
>Arana does not like this, and webs her up until she apologizes.
>Fluttersy finally arrives, and it's revealed Discord saw the whole thing. She runs off to see her friends.
>Honeyhears and Jetset have tea with the harassing stallion from earlier. He is a little worried.
>Chitania has many a scene where she hallucinates from hunger.
>BBB is worried when 10 publishes that Celestia left PD and Gwen to go save others, but 10 says she has to tell the truth.
>AJ confronts Rarity about what happened, and after she learns nobody died and what went down, Rarity confesses to everything. She then laments how she used to always want to be a princess, and how that dream has been tainted. AJ says she understands, and knows what its like to try to do what you think is the right thing and everything goes wrong.
>But she won't let Rarity give up, because Rarity is her friend. Reluctantly, she accepts.
>Its' then revealed the entire conversation happened in Rarity's head, as AJ was put there by Chrysalis so she could talk to her without waking her up or hurting her.
>SA wants to know if they have ninjas
>Celestia, unable to take the day anymore, tries to curl up into bed. It doesn't work.
>Then shining comes in with backrubs and cake, and she feels happy again.
>So of course, this is when AJ comes in to tell her the truth.
>Her and Shining try to dive into the cake to escape, it does not work.
1/3
>>27434577
>18 has missed a lot.
>And they still have to help rebuild.
>Spitfire can't take it anymore, and is losing her mind. Fortunately, 42 arrives to take 2. Unfortunately, she leaves Mane-Iac.
>29 and co try not to think about the fact nobody realized they were gone.
>Weird stuff happens around 2.
>Sweet Note wakes up and realizes she's going to jail, but still does not talk when the guard comes in to get her statement. Afterwards, it's revealed that she really had to struggle not to talk.
>AB confronts DT about her sending a congratulations note on them getting their cutie mark, but DT has no idea what they're talking about.
>Wildling stabs a guy.
>AJ, Celly, SA and Chrysalis all talk about what to do now.
>Dash stops pretending to be unconscious.
>Pinkie and Fluttershy both admit they missed a lot.
>Spike cheers himself up after reading the paper.
>Immediately following this, a thief steals some lady's purse, so Spike gives chase... on a big wheel.
>He's successful, and now decides he wants one, so he goes to a 'dealership'.
>Sunset muses that there has to be an easier way to get a lot of love quickly, but it would be so much riskier.
>PD and Gwen wake up in bed with no recollection of what happened last night. Upon learning Gwen does not drink coffee, PD opens fire. She misses.
>Awkwardling, Maud and the Rainbolts all putz around and hang out.~
>DT goes to get ice cream with her dad.
>Bat-mom and Dadling notice that there were no nightguards who fought Chitania.
>29 and Trixie go home, where Trixie immediatly locks herself in his bedroom. Fortunately, he learned from previous times, and had a spare bedroom installed. When he goes inside, however...
>~Hello, Twenty Nine
>A lot of screaming follows, before he realizes it's Sunset.
2/3
>>27434594
>They talk, with Sunset trying to act mysterious and powerful to coax him into freaking out when she reveals everything that happened, but he stays mostly passive during it, much to her annoyance. To her surprise, he doesn't turn on her, and is willing to let her stay with him until the 'heat dies down'.
>He even offers to have Zecora or Trixie make a disguise for her, and when questioned he insists they'd do it and wouldn't turn her in.
>When she says she can't stay, and that she can't let the princesses get away with this, he sadly admits he knows, and understands. Still, he gives her some wine for the road, and asks her not to drag Luna into it, as she had no part in whatever happened with Sunset. Reluctantly, she accepts.
>When he finally asks why she came to him, she say she needs something.
>Love.
>For some reason, she's annoyed when he just holds out his hoof.
>She turns out the light, and he points out they just need to hold hooves to transfer the magic.
>"Let me be mysterious, damn it!"
>Finally, AJ gathers her friends, gets up onto her podium, and prepares to tell the truth.
>Citizens of Canterlot... you ain't gonna like what Ah' got to say, but... Ah' gotta be honest.
Sorry I'm so far behind with this one, was super busy yesterday, but huzzah!
As always, if I missed something, or compressed things a little too much, gimme a post.
>>27434315
Beep boop.
"The hay was that?"
>Hang on, it's some kind of aler-...huh.
"What huh?"
>The Morlocks have discovered another sentient race. According to the readouts they aren't as advanced, not quite ready to explore space yet.
"Considering who we're comparing them too, that's gotta hurt their self esteem, so what do they look like?"
>Hang on, I'll pull them-Pic Here
>-uuuuuuuUUUGH!
"Wow, somehow Ah get the feeling them and the 'locks're gonna get along just fine."
>IT'S LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE GARBAGE OF A NEIGHPONESE RESTAURANT!
'Hey Appleass, what's she screaming about?'
"Aliens."
'Real ones?'
"Nah, fake ones."
'Damn, no convincing them I'm the god empress of the universe today. So what, this some cut-rate Hyperspace Hyperwars clone?'
"Nah, Twi's made up a kinna politics simulation."
'How'd that go?'
"We murdered each other and destroyed the world over cake and now the Morlocks got spaceships."
'Seems legit, and the Morlocks turned into hideous squid people?'
"Nah, still hideous ponies, just on their backlegs now. Also they found a bigass giant corpse on another planet."
'...Chitania?'
"Naw, they ain't got the knowhow to study it yet but frankly it looks too...wormy to be her."
'I can dig it, mind if I stay and watch? I'm gonna no matter what you say, just asking.'
"Ahm easy, Twi?"
>I'm gonna have nightmares...
"She's good too."
'Sweet, now which button launches the nukes...?'
>>27433945
______________
-Hey guys! Princess Applejack said it's not your fault and are officially pardo-
"LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU TRYING TO BE A VILLAIN OVER HERE"
>>27434676
Tell me it's not like that, ha.
>>27434711
They probably are going to go-
>Oh yeah, because that doesn't look like a trap or anything!
"Seems legit."
>>27434645
Sidenote: You guys have noooo idea how much I'm hoping I find humans in this game.
>SA
"???"
~???~
~~~
>Spitfire? We're home, how'd Two and Mane-iac behave... today...
"HELLPPPPPPP!"
>...
"HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF FAUST!"
>...So I'm noticing there's not Two back there.
"SHINING FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
>This is kind of a big deal.
"SHINING HELP!"
>It's just, it's Two, you know? And some stuff happened.
"FORTY TWO TOOK HER NOW HELP ME!"
>Oh... good! I don't have to worry then, bye!
"IF YOU SHUT THAT DOOR I SWEAR I WILL-"
SLAM!
"...Fine. Let's keep going."
~AHHHHAHAHAHAH! SOOON! SOOOOON THE WORLD OF MONOPONY.... WILL BE MIIIIINE!~
"I hate everything."
~Huzzah! Doubles!~
>>27434274
>even she found the muck in her hair distasteful
There's your confirmation that they banged
>>27435257
(Author)
That was Chitty saying she herself looked rough and had crud in her hair, not noticing that Sunset had stuff in her hair.
Sorry, had to delete some words for it to fit the fucking word limit and made it ambiguous by mistake.
