Tripfags in Equestria.

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>>27393037
boop

>>27393037
I know you

>>27393070
N-no you don't.

>>27393058
I want to cornhole that pony.

>>27393475
I want to make her smile :3

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>>27393925

>>27393935
If she's smiling while you cornhole her then you're doing it wrong. Only one of you is supposed to enjoy it.

>>27393979
horse is not for painful, horse is for tender love

>>27394005
You keep another horse around for the tender love.
But Dresshorse is for cornholing.
She secretly likes it.

>>27394012
>http://derpy.me/PiE_Pictures

But...what if my cornholing IS tender loving?

You gotta work up to it.

>>"Double-clutch me, Anon--I'm not made of glass, I promise I won't break."

>>27394024
Anon then breaks the pone despite her claims.

>>27386853
I do not have access to time machine, does this mean I can never writefag?

Is this how all writefag become writefag?

>>27394299
You can still try to writefag
You only really need a time machine if you want to hang out with the cool kids in the AiElumminati
You don't want to hang out with them

>>27394313
I shall writefag with much passion.

It will take time, but the consequences will be worth effort.

Sup Aie, RGRE-poster here. I wanna post some green, but I don't want a repeat of the experience I had in Satry. What's the haps in this thread?

>>27394929
We're waiting for you to post your green. We might not comment on it much though. There's like only 6 of us here and 4 of those are Durnk.

>>27394924
Again, yes.

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Anon in Power Pony Equestria when?

>>27395813
Never.

>>27395813
Now

>After an hour or so, Zecora returned and you deduced from her Dr Seussian rhymes that a chariot was coming to pick you up.
>It seems the horse aliens are not only medieval but are packing you off to see their princess.
>Apparently you're not important enough for the King or Queen.
>You also don't get to go into town either. By the decree of someone with the ridiculous name of Twilight Sparkle because you might frighten the inhabitants.
>Twilight Sparkle. If someone called Running Coyote or Shimmering Lake crosses your path you are so done with this planet.
>"Hey Zecora, is this the monster?"
>"What are you fillys doing here, Twilight did not want anyone near."
>Turning around you see three tiny aliens approaching, kind of like Zecora but all the colours of the rainbow.
>They must be children from ponyville. And they are so cuuuuuuuuute.
>The big eyes, the way they walk on their tiny legs.
>"Ohymgodyouaresocute!"
>Grabbing the closest one you start hugging the life out of it.
>"Wha- Hey! Put me do- HELP THE MONSTERS GOT ME!"

>>27396530

>Watching in horror as the terran hugs Scootaloo against her venom sacs, you find yourself powerless to act.
>"Let her go ya hear."
>Applebloom and Sweetie Belle try to free Scootaloo, but the creature just ignores their little hooves bapping against her leg.
>Instead scooping them and smooshing all three them into her chest.
>"Youarethecutestlittlethingsi'veeverseenandi'mgoingtohugyouforever"
>And ponies say you're hard to understand.
>"ZECORA! HALP!"
>Alright, time to get the fillies away from the venom sacs before there is an accident.
>"I see you have much love to show, but perhaps you can let the fillies go."
>"Noooooo. I want to hug them forever!"
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>"I am afraid you must, the chariot draws near to us."
>Just in time too. Even Bulk would struggle to pry those arms loose.
>The terran looks in the direction you're pointing and a look of disappointment crosses her face.
>"Awww, fine."
>The moment she releases the fillies, they run off screaming towards town.
>You'll have to explain this.
>You hope Applejack is in a good mood, or the terran will no longer be welcome in the neighborhood.

>>27396543

>A stupidly extravagant chariot comes to a stop in front of you.
>White wood with a gaudy gold trim. Looks more a fancy theater balcony than a chariot.
>But it's pulled by four ponies and they look adorable in their little roman armor.
>You feel another hugging episode coming on but a look from Zecora stops you.
>Given their grumpy, super serious expressions they probably wouldn't appreciate it.
>Their loss because it just makes them more adorable.
>As you're directed into the chariot by Sir Grump-a-lot, you wonder why you never tried to hug Zecora.
>Probably because you knocked her out. And the mohawk, zebra is too cool for school.

>Thus began a rather disappointing ride.
>You'd hoped to see some wild alien shit. 30 foot tall mushrooms, strange ruins and outlandish geography.
>Nope. Just ordinary countryside. Yeah the trees and even the grass wasn't quite like earth grass and trees.
>But it was close enough that it was nothing worth getting excited over.
>And your escort/chariot engine weren't the most talkative bunch.
>They'll pay for not laughing at your jokes someday.
>And then you saw it, your destination. A huge city built onto the sheer sides of a mountain.
>Like Minas Tirith only less fortressy. That brought the sense of wonder back from the dead.
>And soon you're going to be doing princessy things with an alien princess.
>It's like your 8 years old again. But with aliens.

http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d

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>>27394929
tl;dr version:
If your story has Anon and it takes place in equestria, it fits here. There's some unspoken nuances, such as anon being not an equestrian native, but that's the tl;dr.

Some anons might try shitting on you if you include something they don't like (hi antiTFfag), but this is 4chan, some shitting is to be expected. It also helps if your writing skills are half decent, meaning proper capitalization/punctuation and such things.

ps don't be an attention whore

>>27396561
I like this. Do more.

>>27394958
>There's like only 6 of us here and 4 of those are Durnk.
can confirm

>>27396642
Hi us

>>27396561
Please, tell me FemAnon is going to un-consensually hug one of the princess.
Like, sleepy Luna wandering into the throne room in her pajama and slippers, whining about what is so important that it can't wait for the night.

>>27394929
Just post it.

>>27397321
yo

>>27396642
You're not me! I'm me!
>>27396561
Cute pons gonna get hugged

>>27399652
Page 8 save

>>27400199
From?

>>27395312
>You will never be nine years old in Equestria.
>You will never get bad touched by Rainbow Dash.
>You will never have Twilight dismiss your accusations against her.
>You will never have her as a babysitter.
>You will never have the molestation suddenly stop when you are twelve.
>>You will never have Rainbow Dash call you "Too old."

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Is it time yet?

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>>27401576
Yes.

>>27393037
WW1 fighter ace pilot Anon
burst through the sky's of equestria after a brutal dog fight over France.

His plane is in flames and he's losing control of the plane as blood drips down unto his aviator googles. The only thing he's thinking as he's plummeting to earth is I wonder if it's tea time?

>>27401674
He's the most English person you will ever meet. He does this to hid a dark secret. He's actually Welsh.

>>27401674
I like this idea.

>>27401674
>Meanwhile, you're enjoying a break from your dressmaking duties and having a cup of tea in your kitchen.
>The hot liquid warms your body and soothes you as it cascades down your throat.
>Nothing helped you relax better than a good cup of tea.
>And you certainly needed it.
>You had received so many orders this week, you have no idea how you're going to fin-
>A sound like thunder rips you from your idle thoughts.
>You're blinded as your kitchen becomes the center of a maelstrom.
>The far wall crashes in as it's pierced by a giant object that tears and crushes anything and everything in its path.
>You scream for your life, fear freezing you to the spot as all Tartarus breaks loose.
>You clench your eyes shut, hoping for a quick, painless end.
>But eventually the cacophony dies down and you can still feel your heart hammering in your chest, which hopefully meant you were still alive.
>Daring to open your eyes, you are welcomed by the sight of your home.
>Half of the building is in shambles, the space being occupied by the giant metal...thing that had caused it all.
>Which you see is also on fire.
>Marvelous.
>Thankfully whatever it was had avoided the side of the kitchen you were on but it was little comfort to you right now.
>You're still trying to make sense of it all when a coughing fit pulls your attention to the object.
>Now that you look closer, you can see somepony is nestled inside the contraption.
>Your eyes widen as you get a clear look at it.
>You've never seen anything like it.
>It reminds you of that Iron Will brute, but much less hairy and stocky.
>The next thing you notice is the blood streaming from its head.
>Despite your immense fear that you feel, you can't help but let concern worm through you and take a step toward him.

>>27401961
>That must have alerted it because it moves his head toward you, peering at you through its shattered goggles.
>It stares at you a moment before looking beyond you at your tableset, it miraculously surviving the crash.
>He, you're guessing it's a he due to the deep tone of its voice, mumbles something that you fail to catch.
>Leaning toward it cautiously, you perk your ears to hear better.
"I'm...sorry, what was that?"
>He coughs again before speaking louder.
>"Could...could I trouble you for a spot of tea?"
>The absurdity of the request stops you for a bit but you acquiesce to it anyway.
"Oh...um, yes of course."
>You levitate over a clean cup that hadn't been destroyed and fill it from your teapot before moving toward him.
>Whether this shocked him or not, he doesn't show it as he struggles to grasp the cup in his shaking hand.
>"Thank you, mum."
>He eagerly takes a long sip of the tea, with one of his fingers pointed out you noticed, and swallows it.
>"Mmm, jolly good."
>Suddenly he goes slack in his seat, dropping the cup and bangs his head against his machine as he faints.
>You just blink in confusion at the now unconscious creature.
>Voices start to filter in from the outside as ponies start to congregate around the spectacle that your house has become.
>You sigh as you gaze over your strange visitor.
>It was going to be one of those days...

>>27396575
TF has its own threads, post that shit over there

>>27401966
Good start please tell me this isn't over.

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>>27402043
Silence.

>>27401838
What a subhuman

>>27402043
>>27396575
>>27394929
If there is an anonymous character in an Equestria, you should post a copy of the story here.
(Pony on earth stories also hang out here too)
If it's also relevant to another thread, crosspost to both.

>>27402209
Or steal and edit existing HiE stories and replace with Anon.

>>27402043
These >>27402209, >>27402100
It belongs here just as much fuck boy

>>27402241
Someone did that?

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>>27402302
I forgot who exactly because it's been so long now, but I recall two cases of someone getting called out on that shit.
There was also the case of alidan stealing short, one post stories people posted in AiE. He even refused to take them off his pastebin because "the writer might delete their story" even when the writer themselves told him to take it down.

Those were the days, crusty cunt flake flavoured kind of days where AiE couldn't go one thread without a little drama

>>27402302
I wouldn't be surprised.

>tfw Captain Anonymous is still kill

>>27402317
>"This is Trixie's hole! It was made for her!"

>>27402331
DRR DRR DRR

>>27402317
Hue, I remember that tard even used one of mine and I suck.

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Time for my first writefag. Let's do this.

>They lied to you
>They said Equestria would be amazing
>They said the mane six would be your friends
>They said it would be just like the show
>Well as far as you could tell, this shit was the exact opposite of what you expected
>Immedietly upon entering this world, you were seized by those fags in golden armor
>Only difference is their armor actually seemed like it did something now and didn't look like pointless decoration
>They did not even listen to your objections, or even your initial friendly hello.
>They simply threw you into a cage and carried you off with Pegasus power
>How did they even get here so fast?
>Which made no sense if you consider where the center of mass and everything is
"Why are you doing this? I've been here for ten fucking seconds!"
>"By order of Queen Celestia, all unregistered bursts of magic are to be investigated and brought to her highness immediately."
>Bitch what she's a princess
>You look down to see your cage was zooming over the town of Ponyville
>It looked like a ghetto shithole. Fire barrels, dirty ponies, etc etc
>Where the giant Jew crystal tree castle was supposed to be, there was instead a dark spire with Twilight's ass tattoo hovering above it, the spire itself seemed decorated with Celestia or Twilight related banners that looked down upon the populous of Ponyville
>You looked over to where Canterlot would be, to find that instead of a city on the side of a mountain, there was an enormous fortress in the center of a volcano.
>It was then, for the first time in your life, that you wish you did not get quints

>>27403143
>Lubed Cornflakes
what kind of name is that
do you cover cereal in lube and shove it up your ass?

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>>27403143
>You could see similarly armored guards flying around the volcano city fortress, patrolling the skies and maintaining a wall of storm clouds surrounding the area
>The fortress itself seemed to vaguely resemble the original Canterlot, but some concrete hell version
>Eventually your cage landed just outside the city, a purple aura enveloped you as a familiar purple alicorn stepped out of the shadow the city's surrounding concrete wall cast
>"What is this thing? Why did you have me come out here for a deformed.. Chimpanzee?" she spoke, levitating you in front of her and inspecting you
>Twiggles why
>"Discord detected a sudden burst of powerful magic outside of Ponyville your highness," replied one of the two guards who brought you here, kneeling before Twilight, "When we arrived, we found... This. We came to bring it to the Queen."
>Twilight however, seemed heavily unamused
>"And so you have me waste my precious time by having my servant send me here... For what? To give you a golden sticker? Q pat on the back?" She muttered.
>"W-We just thought that.. With your.. Powerful magic, it would be wise for you.. To restrain it?" squeaked the guard.
>That seemed to sate Twilight's unusual ego. She waved off the guards and trotted into the fortified city

>>27402096
I don't know enough English jokes to really do more.

>>27403206
"Pssst. Twi,"
>You whisper, causing her to stop wide eyed before slamming your back against a nearby wall
>"HOW DARE YOU ADRESS SOMEONE SO SUPERIOR TO YOU IN SUCH A MANNER? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"FUCK! Why're you slamming against shit you bitch? I just said your name! Christ!"
>Twilight develops.a somewhat confused expression, though for the most part it was just an angry Twi
>"What did you just call your princess? What is a.. Bitch?"
>Fucking kid show logic what the hell
>Might as well fuck with this vile perversion of Twiggles
"It's a uh.. Compliment! It's a.. It means beautiful and wise."
>You give her a big smile, which seems to simmer her down a bit
>Holy fuck she is vain
"So uh... Why is everything a ahithole?"
>Twilight is surprisingly not so bothered by that remark. She takes a few glances around to make sure no peasants are listening before continuing her walk
>"The queen has no idea how to lead. She never listens to me, her greatest pupil of all time. Even after I captured the agent of harmony, Discord. I look forward to her inevitable demise."
>Every word surprised you
>First of all, why would she be willing to tell you something like this?
>Then again she could probably rip your head off if you snitched
>And you ain't no snitch
>Snitches are bitches
>Second, agent of harmony? Discord?
>the fuck

>>27403206
Anon in Edgequestria.
It's decent for now, but be careful with this kind of ambiance, it can quickly turn to shit.

>>27403269
Good Guy Immortal Anon in Edgequestria.
No matter what happens to him he wakes up healthy and whole in his bed.
Pinkie bakes him into cupcakes? He buys a dozen the next day.
Fluttershy feeds him to a bear? He shows up to clean the mess in her yard.
Rarity strangles him in her rape dungeon? He gives her a score card the next morning on her technique.
Twilight vivisects him? He helps organize her findings and co-publishes a medical paper with her.
Applejack rapes him to death? He shows up one a week so she gets it out of her system and can get more work done around the farm.
Rainbow Dash wants to hang out? He tells her no because she's a cunt.

Good Guy Anon.

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>>27403265
>You are soon brought to the throne room of the queen herself, ungracefully dropped onto the ground by Twicunt.
>Please don't be a bitch.. Please don't be a bitch...
>"Approach," boomed the queen's voice.
>Yup, she's fucked too.
>You grumble a bit as you approach the base of the stairs that lead up to her high throne
>You look around for a moment to see banners displaying her sun thing and large illustrations of her face looking downwards.
>Fucks sakes.
"Why am I he-"
>You were quickly cut off by a magical smack to the face from the queen, who looked scornfully down at you
>"Speak when spoken to, whelp."
>Fuck you too
>"I am.. Curious... I myself sense no magic emanating from you... So how does a creature such as yourself cause a burst of magic that has only been induced by the likes of I?"
>You considered telling her you got quints on a random thread on an Internet forum, but that sounded fuckig stupid and they don't have computers here.
>Or do they? For all you know, Sombra could be a church going homeless horse here.
"I don't know. I just kinda.. Appeared here. I don't know how, but if you could send me back, I'd really appreciate it."
>Queen Sunbutt is visibly insulted, before gesturing a large wing to one of the windows.
>"Are you saying you do not find my kingdom greater than whatever pitiful land you come from? Equestria is superior to all other pathetic nations that dare declare themselves independent of my rule! And yet you ask to go back?... Where is it you hail from creature?"

>>27403638
"Earth"
>You receive another magical slap to the face
"Fuck! Quit.. Zapping me, or what the hell ever! Shit!"
>"Do not be smart with me, creature! I know very well you come from Earth! We are on Earth!"
>Stupid ass horse I mean my Earth
"I meant I am from a different world.. That's also called Earth."
>The queen squints her eyes at you, probably determining if you are telling the truth or not
>"And you have no idea how you arrived here?"
>You shake your head
>The queen contemplates this for a moment, before slamming a burst of holy.. Or unholy.. Magic onto the ground in front of you.
>You hear a scream as a form emerges out of the light
>"Discord. What is the meaning of this?" The queen asks disdainfully, looking down at the chaos.. Or.. Harmony entity she had summoned.

>>27403798
>inb4 discord is a pansy who wants to bring order

>>27404027
Nah, same Discord. He exists everywhere at once.

>>27404439
But lube called him agent of harmony

>>27404598
>implying trying to establish order in a world full of chaos isn't chaos in itself.
It's a paradox

page 10

>>27396561
>You're lead through the palace by more of the super serious guards.
>Frankly the more serious guards you pass the more you get the urge to fuck with them.
>The palace is like some cross between the castle and cathedral. Stained glass everywhere.
>A pair of huge doors are pushed open in front of you and you see the throneroom.
>Has the usual throneroom things, big red carpet, huge room. And two thrones.
>On one sits a white horse, the other a blue horse. Both have freaky ass manes.
>"Greetings Strange Creature! Thou art welcome to the court of Canterlot."
>Camelot? it's only a model
>"Sister, there's no need to be so formal."
>"If we cannot be formal at a first meeting in our own court, then when can we be?"
>"Er, Hello."
>"Yes, as Luna was saying, greetings and welcome. You are a curious being, would it be rude if we inspected you more closely. In thousands of years we've seen nothing like you before."
>Thousands of years? What kind of inspection?
>"Uh, inspect away."
>The two horses get off their thrones and begin circling around you eyeing you closely.
>Suddenly the blue horse places a hoof on your breast and begins rubbing.
>What the fuck?
>"The report was correct, these venom glands are indeed beyond measure. Tell us what manner of creatures occupy you land that you require such a defense."
>Venom sacs?
>"Those aren't venom sacs, they're my breasts!"
>"Breasts? What pray are they?"
>Thou art shitting me horse.
>"You know breasts, tits, teats, mammary glands."
>"Breasts....."
>The blue horse, Luna, hasn't ceased rubbing, if anything she's rubbing them harder and more.
>You can feel the blush forming on your cheeks. An alien dyke horse is rubbing your tits, Kirk would be proud.
>"Luna" The white horse hisses, and the blue one drops her hooves from your tits.
>"An urgent matter has arisen, Luna and I will visit you later. Captain take our guest to a suitable room."

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Hey, for the past couple of days there was a thread asking what Multiple Anons in Equestria would be like (pic related was the op). I wrote a greentext for the thread, but hit a wall. But I just finished the rest of Act 2, so here it is.

http://pastebin.com/u/ACBCWL

I'm posting it here, because it seems like one of two places on here that all those who read it will see it.

>>27406129
Oh, and Act 3 is coming soon.
Like, in a month or so soon.

>>27406129
Just post the whole thing in the thread, more green is good.

>>27406215
Ok then.
Act 1
>You are Anon.
>One of many, surprisingly.
>Just another day spent on Vietnam's #1 Salmon Fishing Website, when you came across a thread that had a best pone strawpoll.
>Of course, your voice must be heard, can't let Fast Cunt get the lead.
>However, the link led you somewhere else, yadda yadda yadda, and you woke up in the magical land of Equestria.
>Does it really matter how you got here?
>Well, kind of, because it turns out other people followed in your footsteps, and not all of them were from /mlp/.
>A lot of /co/mrades, some /v/irgins, a couple fa/tg/uys, a crossie from /k/, and a frogposter from /r9k/ are amidst the most recent arrivals.
>And so are you.
>You open your eyes, expecting to be greeted by a slightly cloudy sky and a few branches, but instead are met with ceiling tile splattered with what appears to be chocolate milk.
>"Hey, buddy."
>Some guy snaps in your face.
>"Get off the floor, we don't vacuum in here."
>You sit up, and look around.
>You're in what appears to be the lobby of an apartment building, or a really shitty hotel.
>There's some guy, probably the one who talked to you, next to you in a bellhop outfit.
Nice duds.
>"Thanks, I picked them out myself."
From where, a dumpster behind an oshkoshbgosh?
>"I'll have you know it was a Gap Kids, and-"
>He shakes his head.
>"I don't have time for this. You want a room, or not?"
>You check your pockets and find only some lint and a pressed penny.
>'Scenic Schweitzer Falls, The Backside of Water'
I don't have any money for a room.
>"I didn't ask if you had any money, I asked if you wanted a room. Also, could you get off the floor already? I get enough of this from Jackson over there."
>He gestures through an archway into what looks like a waiting room, with an old radio in the corner instead of a television.
>There's a grown man wearing footie pajamas one size too small on the floor in front of it, listening to a Radio Serial about Daring Do.
Cont.

>>27406236
>He has one arm beneath him. You shudder, and get to your feet.
>Approaching the counter, there are a lot of hooks on the wall behind the guy. Each with a number, and you know how a hotel lobby works.
>"So, what room you want? They're pretty much all the same, so it's really comes down to what number you think you'll remember."
>Well, that's a tough one. Your not one for remembering little details.
What rooms do you have left?
>"Let's see here, I got 12, 27, uhh 24, and the Broom Closet."
Why bring up the broom closet?
>"What's it to you?"
>Fair point.
I'll take room 12.
>He tosses you the key.
>"Don't lose that now, it's hard to get copies made. I don't get paid for this, and it costs a lot of bits."

>You finally exit the building, and are greeted with a view of Ponyville in the distance, and Twilight's shitty Crystal Cathedral on the opposite side of town.
>Canterlot Castle looms in the distance behind it, and the Everfree separates the town from the mountain's base, stretching around the village to close in behind your back.
>You've gotta say, this is a nice view. You doubt your room even has a window, though.
>Meh, you'll see it later. Right now, you've got to make your arrival.
>You make a brisk pace down the dirt path, and find yourself at City Hall at the center of town. There are two other people standing in front of the building, one holding a sign and the other in a hotdog suit.
>The sign reads-
>"ALL NEW ARRIVALS, PLEASE PRESENT YOURSELF TO BE RECORDED. THE ACB VALUES YOUR DEDICATION."
>"Why even bother giving me a sign if you're just gonna shout it every time someone goes by?'
>"Because shut up. What if they're deaf? Or blind?"
>"What if they don't speak English, we had at least one guy who kept saying 'Ya Es Hora', they had to lock him in a cell."
>"A fluke. There are no more foreign posters, and have been none since the second scruffening-"
Hey, I'm a new arrival, I guess.
Cont.

>>27406247
Hey, I'm a new arrival, I guess.
>"Yeah, just head on in." Hotdog guy waves you in, and goes back to his conversation. "You've got to understand, there was this one guy who had cataracts and made his kid brother post online for him."
>"Everyone's seen that screengrab. The guy's probably dead by now."
>"Are you saying no one else with cataracts would go on 4chan?"
>"I'm saying it's unlikely."
>Town hall is full of other humans waiting in several different lines, all holding different forms.
>You go into the closest line to you, and prepare for an arduous journey.

>"Ok, now that you've filled out form AYB-720, had your bloodwork done, and been far even as decided, we just have one last question."
Is this another shitty old meme? We get it, longcat is long, he's probably also dead by now.
>"No no no, it's just a final formality. How do you wish to be addressed?"
I picked room 12, but I don't know what street it's on,
>"No, what's your moniker? Some people chose to actually use their real name, or in some cases a real name, and we'd like to know if you would like to as well."
Oh, right. Anon's fine.
>You don't really have that much attachment to your real name. You never liked it anyway, people always spelled it wrong.
>"Alright then, Anonymous number 12311, welcome to Equestria."
>The guy behind the counter stamps a couple of your forms, and hands you a hand drawn index card.
>He then files it all away, and you here the sounds of blades whirring.
>"You don't have to carry the card around, but don't lose it. Otherwise, you'll have to do the entire process over."
What happens if I lose it, and don't come back for another one?
>"What do I care, faggot, it's not like we're keeping track of how many of us are actually out there, otherwise we'd have to keep using old numbers whenever some retard gets himself killed."
>The shutter closes, and a little sign says 'Use Next Window.'
Cont.

>>27406252
>Finally leaving town hall, you see the moon has risen and you've been in there for god knows how long.
>Hotdog guy and his friend are gone, and it seems the center is nearly empty.
>Except for one guy sitting on a park bench below a streetlamp that didn't get extinguished.
>He looks like he's had a rough time, and is shivering heavily despite his plush jacket.
>In any other instance, you'd ignore the vagrant, but this is one of your fellow horsefuckers. Where would we all be without the magic of friendship?
>You start to head towards the poor fellow, but trip over your pants, which had unexpectedly fallen down.
>You end up accidentally lodging your own cock down your throat, and choke to death.
>Thus ends your story. You fucking idiot.

>>27406254
Act 2, Scene 1
>Be Anon. Just anon, you don't need a fucking number.
>Some asshole, newly minted by the pleb detector just fell victim to it's ingenious design.
>By taking part of the Anonymous Census Bureau, the fool thought he could change his ways, and abandon his past life of what probably was just working all day and staying up until 3AM in the morning posting on 4chan.
>Bastard didn't realize that you can't choose the thug life, it's gotta choose you.
>Quid pro quo, OP sucks cocks.
>You get off your bench and walk over to his corpse.
>A quick rummage through his pockets yields a commemorative coin from Disneyland, one if those stupid index cards, and
Applejack's Parents in Pony Heaven!
>A room key! You're not homeless anymore.
>You run up the old dirt path to the Anon Acres, glad to have a warm bed for the night.

>>27406263
Act 2, Scene 2
>Be Keith.
>The Bellhop?
>Are you kidding me, you weren't named earlier in the narrative?
>Welp, it's just like you expected. The newest arrival was a Class A Polesmoker.
>Good thing you already took a shit in his room's toilet.
>That'll learn him to not mock wageslave's uniforms.
>Wait, if you're not getting paid, how could you be
>That thought is interrupted by the arrival of some anon in a shitty winter parka.
>"Hey there! I'll just be heading up to my room. Set a wakeup call for tomorrow morning at 10o'clock. Don't want to miss the Continental Breakfast. I'll be in room 12."
>And he's already heading upstairs. Wait, room 12? Isn't that the newbies room? And haven't you seen that guy before today? Meh, as long as you get paid on time, you don't care.
>Wait, you don't get...
>Be Nowhere Man.

>Cool name, right?
>Fuck that old copypasta, the Beatles are amazing.
>Well, were amazing. Half are dead and you don't have any of their cds with you.
>Nevertheless, that's the name you chose when you filled out your ACB forms.
>And now that's what all the friends you've made in Equestria call you, too!
>How cool is that!
>Anyway, it's a new day in Ponyville, and you've got to go help best pony, in your opinion, set up for tonight's show.
>She's playing another Pinkie Pie party, this one is to commemorate Mayor Mare's 5th year in office.
>Mayor Mare sure does enjoy DJ Pon-3's hot jams.
>Especially when she manages to pull off a live remix.
>But to do that, she needs her specialized turntable set, which is kept in a storage locker way over across town from her and Octavia's house.
>Luckily, Anon Acres happens to be close by, so you're always happy to lend a hand.
>You don your chapeau of choice, an ACTUAL fedora. NOT a Trilby like all those pasty faced neckbeards wear.
>You also grab your keychain, with your room key - good old room 14 - the key to the Storage Locker, and your Record Keychain.
Cont.

>>27406271
>It combines your two favorite things, DJ Pon-3's Cutie Mark, and Dave Strider's Symbol.
>It's a shame you never got to see how Homestuck ended, but you're sure it was Epic.
>As you exit your room, you bump into someone in the hall.
Oh, pardon me! I didn't see you there.
>The man in the Beat up Winter Jacket glances back at you as he continues down the hall.
>"Yeah, sure. Whatever."
>What a terribly rude fellow. But, it shall not spoil another day helping your very best friend.
>You follow him down the stairs, and where he turns into the dining area, you turn towards the front lobby, and by extension the front door, to make your way over to the Storage Facility.

>"Good morning, Nowhere Man."
Good morning, Kwikset.
>"Here to see Miss. Scratch's locker?"
You bet. She needs her Auto-Record Switcher Table for Mayor Mare's Five Years in Office party tonight.
>"Alright, I'll come open the gate for you."
Kwikset steps down from his chair and into his walker.
>It takes him a while to get around, him being an older stallion, but you don't mind the wait. You have plenty of time before you even need to start setting up.
>You begin to hum to yourself.
https://vimeo.com/32313020

>>27406284
Act 2, Scene 3
>Be Anon. Goddamn, is this breakfast delicious.
>Good thing it's continental too, which supplies you with Griffon Delicacies such as Muffins and MEAT.
>What with Ponies being herbivores, thank goodness Griffons are a composite of two predators.
>As you sink your teeth into your third sausage, you think about how this makes up for the massive log the last guy left in his room.
>He knew he'd be out all day, how could he just leave it in there?
>Probably because he thought it'd only be him entering his room. Yeah, that makes sense you guess.
>While your mind is on the facilities, it drifts over to the shower you were very thankful to have.
>However, while your body is clean your clothes are not.
>Your pit stains dominate your entire sides, and your pants would be considered fashionable if they looked like that when they were sold. And were jeans instead of slacks.
>And your trusty Winter Coat, has more holes than Rarity could fill, that slut.
>Wait, that's it. You'll get Rarity to fix up your clothes.
>Wait, again. You rest your head in one hand while the other forks some scrambled eggs into you. You don't have any money. You guess you'll have to find work somewhere.
>Well, maybe you could appeal to her Generosity, after all that is her element. You wouldn't believe with how selfish she can get at times, though.
>Yeah, that seems like a good plan. And worst comes to worst, you could offer to trade services for "services" Hehe. Eugh.
>You down the last of your OJ and head out into town.
Cont.

>>27406295
>Carousel Boutique is easy to find, as a few of your former fellow vagrant anons have set up camp just beyond fifty feet of the building.
>These are mostly Rarfags, but a few are here for someone else, hence the distancing.
>You make your way past the shantytown and into the Boutique.
>All the anons behind you watch with baited breathed.
>Several Minutes Pass...
>"AND YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT ME EVER DOING ANY ALTERATIONS TO EVEN A SOCK. IF I EVER SEE YOU IN HERE AGAIN, I SHALL HAVE YOU DRAWN AND QUARTERED."
>"I WOULD SAY 'GOOD DAY, SIR', BUT I NEITHER WISH THAT FOR YOU, NOR BELIEVE YOU TO BE A GENTLECOLT."
>And she slams the door in your face.
>Well, that certainly could've gone better.
>You head back to the shantytown, wait a couple seconds, then head back up to the Boutique's door.
>You rap on the door, and put a slight affectation on your voice.
Pardon me, Miss Rarity?
>The door swings open.
>"WHAT DID I JUST SAY TO YOU, YOU COWARD, BULLY, CAD AND-"
I-I'm sorry, but this is my first time here. I was told you were a seamstress, so you could help me fix my clothes.
>"I... Oh, dear. You're a different Anon, aren't you? My apologies darling, I just had the most horrid altercation with some other, mmhm, person.
>You can see the disdain dripping in her voice when she says 'person'. You didn't know you could leave such a mark. At least she won't have to deal with 'that anon' any more.
It's fine, I can understand how some of these guys can be real assholes.
>"Perhaps a bit vulgar... but then again, no. Vulgarities are suitable to this individual. But, you're not here to listen to my airing of grievances, what do you need tailored?"
Just my winter coat. I've had this since I dropped out of college, so it's seen a lot.
Cont.

>>27406302
>"Oh, but what about the rest of your ensemble? Your button up looks to be duotone by how much is stained, and your trousers are so frayed they may as well be a grass skirt for all the protection they provide."
I'm not really as attached to them as I am the jacket. But, if you have any other clothes for humans I'd like to take a look.
>"Oh, but of course. Since all you hyoomans have been showing up, I've had quite a good amount of business coming through. Though sadly, not many repeat customers. Although, there is that one fellow who bring in these garish pajamas from time to time. Ugh, you should smell the odor that comes off them. But then again, I wouldn't wish for the foulest of a foe to catch even the smallest whiff. Oh, but listen to me prattle on, let me show you to my selection of hyooman wear and then to a dressing room."
>She takes your coat and escorts you to a single rack of suits, all very similar with minute differences invisible to your untrained eyes.

>>27406308
Added some translations to the pastebin I forgot about.
Act 2, Scene 4
>Be Keith again.
>The Bellhop, remember?
>It's been a quiet morning so far, which is a great relief from your usual amount of work.
>The only things to happen today are several anons and others leaving for their work, and the new new guy in room 12 scarfing down half the Continental Buffet.
>But, the peace is not to last, as you hear the familiar pitter-pat of manbaby feet.
>"Daddy! It's Cinny Crunch time!"
>It's time for the most loathsome part of your day to start. And it won't end until Jackson is back in his 'crib' in the boiler room.
Good morning, Jacky, I'll get your cinny crunch, just go sit down in the dindin room.
>"No, daddy, I wanna listen to the ragio while I eat!"
>You heave a sigh. Now comes the hard part.
Alright, that'll cost 3 Good Boy Points.
>Jackson looks back at you with a very serious expression on his face.
>"But I've been saving my GBP for a mini ice box, daddy. If I spend 3 points, that's 3 more I'll have to earn back!"
>Tears begin to well up, but you can see the fire burning behind them.
Uh, well Jacky, if you finish all your cerea- I mean cinny crunch without spilling any milk, I'll give you 4 points.
>The tears evaporate, and he calms down.
>"Fank you, daddy. I'll be in the ragio room."
>He lumbers off, and sits his fat ass down in his usual spot, that have become a grease stain in the carpeting by now.
>You go into the kitchen to make his bowl of cereal, and think about how you don't get paid enough for this.
>Wait, you don't get...
>Be Mr. Cool Ice

>>27406322
>Man, you almost wish, but no you're just plain old Oscar.
>Oscar Meyer, that is.
>That's right, thanks to Equestria's Greatest Designer, you have realized your dream to be an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
>However, the entire world is not in love with you, as they have no such product in horse land.
>You even tried branching out into other brands, but when you asked a Royal Guard if she wanted an Armor Hotdog, she just got all flustered.
>Their loss, to not value branding in their food products.
>Then again, the only places that really have hotdogs in steady supply, other than Anon Acres, is the Griffon Embassy so it's no wonder ponyville doesn't really know what the deal is with your outfit.
>But, the humor wasted is not your main concern right now. What is is the dead nigger outside city hall.
>He's not actually black, he's green like everyone else, but he sure does look stupid.
>You pick up the card left on the body, and see he is #12311.
>From what you've heard about Shirley's Transactions within the hall, he must be the most recent arrival.
>Oh, did you forget to mention?
>You're one of the few, the proud, the Anonymous Census Bureau Clerical Workers League, or the ACBCWL.
>Your carrying card looks a hell of a lot nicer than the shitty index cards you give out to people who choose to stay anonymous.
>You look back down to the doubled over corpse, and remember you've gotta clear the debris out of here. It's Mayor Mare's 5th Year in Office Party tonight, and she's your boss.
Hey, Ron.
>"Yeah, Oscar?"
We'll need the wheelbarrow to transport the corpse. It turns out he's just an anon.
>"Tsk Tsk Tsk, poor old sod."
Yeah, it's a real shame. He only just got here too.
>You show him the index card.
>"Wow, that really sucks." He looks over the body, "At least he died less painfully than most of the other newbies."
>You pause for a moment.
How could you know that?
>"Cause I'm looking at him."
Cont.

>>27406336
No, I mean how could you Know that his death was any less painful than any other new arrival?
>"I've heard some serious shit from anons who try to make it outside of pony cities. Ripped to shreds by Manticores, Frozen by Wendigos, even Harvested by Changelings."
How is a harvesting painful? You know what, nevermind. The point is, choking to death on your own cock seems incredibly painful. Not just due to the choking, but also how the spine has to bend to even get the tip in your mouth. If I pulled his shirt off, you'd probably see bone bulging against his flesh.
>"Ehh, it just doesn't seem as bad as being worked to death in the Diamond Dog Mines or something."
>You are about to refute his point, when one of Mayor Mare's assistants walks out and starts yelling at you.
>"What are you two doing just standing around! Get the body out of the-"
>She sees the corpse and starts to pale.
>"I think I'm gonna be sick."
>And rushes off back inside Town Hall.
She's right. We'll continue this discussion later, for now get the wheelbarrow.

>>27406343
Act 2, Scene 5
>Estás Anonymous.
>Usted ha estado atrapado en esta celda para quién sabe cuánto tiempo.
>Es realmente terrible lo que va a hacer de América frente a los extranjeros.
>Es aún más terrible que todavía actúan de esta forma en lo que es un coutry extranjero, incluso si todos los caballos hacen hablar Inglés.
>Que realmente tenía grandes esperanzas cuando llegó por primera vez. Ibas a ser un vaquero en Appleoosa.
>La gente escribe canciones populares de ti, y que habían introducir un nuevo lenguaje en el mundo.
>Pero no, estas personas tienen que ser tan envuelto en su propia vida que se consideran una molestia.
>Siguieron repitiendo "No Es Hora" a usted, ya que se ven obligados aquí.
>Pero lo peor de todo es su compañero de celda.
Cont.

>>27406350
>You're name is Not Important.
>You're just some Nobody who happened end up in Talking Horse Land.
>They stuck you in this cell at least a whole year ago, as you were one of the first few humans to show up here.
>They keep calling you Anonymous for some reason, and saying you did all these things like paint a giant ass on the side of a barn, or molest an animal care specialist and some of her animals.
>What reason do you have to be here?
>Why should you be punished for things you never did?
>Over the past year, more and more crimes have been levied against you. What started as a night in the drunk tank has turned into 10 to life.
>Obviously, these horses don't have a good measure of your lifespan.
>One of them rushes past you into the restroom, and you can hear the dry heaving all the way out here.
>How do horses even have a gag reflex? All they eat is oats and hay.
>Speaking of diets, this prison food has done wonders for your physique.
>You look like you made the Charles Atlas transformation. From a scrawny weakling to an Adonis.
>They gave you some weights to keep you in form until the trials actually end. You think they're gonna sentence you to hard labor.
>You feel like maybe you should do something about this, but you can't really connect with who you were a year ago. You can't get in touch with that old sense of morals.
>You can't resist the temptation to simply break out of your cell. After all, tonight is some event celebrating the mayor. All attention will be elsewhere.
>It seems perfect, and you'll have to give it a shot.

>>27406356
Act 2, Scene 6
>Be Nowhere Man again.
>Or rather, be "Going Nowhere" Man.
>Because that is the speed at which you are currently going, and the location.
>You've been stuck outside the gates of Kwikset's Storehouse Lockup for about 2 hours now.
>Even your patience has its limits, after all it takes an hour to move the thing, an hour to set it up, and then a variable amount of time to calibrate the operating arms, make sure the audio is balanced to DJ Pon-3's specific settings, and get all the records in the right order.
Mr. Kwikset? Are you in there.
>You immediately facepalm. Of course he's in there.
I mean, are you alright?
>You struggle to hear anything, but there is only the rustling of branches in the breeze.
Okay, okay. Let's think for a moment. Either he's fallen down and can't get up, or just can't hear me. If it's the latter, it'd be rude to intrude. It is private property. However, if it is the former, then I'm the only one who knows he's in there. And I'm the only one who can help him.
>You struggle with this Herculean quandary for a moment, and resolve to assist Kwikset by any means necessary.
>The front gate is too high to scale, and you don't want to break a window, so you circle around the building.
>There! The bathroom window is slightly ajar.
>You wedge your fat fingers into the crack, and heave.
>The window flies open, but the aperture remains to small for you to gain entry.
Confound it!
>You continue on, past the main building and into an alleyway.

>Meanwhile, Kwikset has finally reached the front gate and starts to go through the keys, failing to notice the absence of Nowhere Man.
Cont.

>>27406364
>The alleyway narrows down as it goes along.
>But this is in fact the opposite of a problem!
>By simply employing your hardcore parkour skills, you can make your way onto the roof of the neighboring building and then over the fence.
>Then it is simply a matter of finding and assisting poor old Mr. Kwikset.
>You put one foot against the wooden fence, then the other against the brick wall, and slowly make your way up.
>It really takes a toll on you, so you have to catch your breath between each step.
This'll... take... awhile...

>>27406374
Act 2, Scene 7
>Be Anon again.
>You look like you just came off the lobby floor, this suit's so nice.
>Time to break the news to Dress Horse.
Uh, Rarity. I have to ask you something.
>"Oh, don't worry Anonymous, I found a fabric that matches your Winter Wear perfectly. It'll be like you never wore it before today."
It's not that, you see I don't have a job so I've got-
>You swallow loudly to really lay it on thick.
I've got no way to pay for all this.
>She glances through the door way of her workshop.
>"Oh, dear. This does put a damper on things, because I've just finished covering the holes in your jacket."
>She displays her handiwork proudly, but with a somber expression.
>"It's such a shame, I thought this was a very good restoration."
Well, I mean, there must be some way for me to pay you back for it.
>Your hand starts to reach into your belt, but you let it rest there remembering what caused your first visit to fail.
>"Well, there might be a couple of things. Little menial tasks you can perform so I have more time to focus on my latest venture. I'm not only crafting a new line of dresses, but I'm split between here and the newest Carousel Boutique in Manehatten. Anything that you could do to help would be greatly appreciated, and perhaps if you do a good job I wont tear this precious sentiment into shreds."
Well, that's very kind of you Miss-
>Wait a minute.
>"Oh, don't stand there with that look on your face. Do you really think I'm simple enough to not be able to tell all of you apart? I've never seen any other hyooman with a jacket like this, so thinking that putting on a new voice will be enough to trick me is ludicrous."
>She places your coat into a closet in her workshop, and turns back to you, levitating over a scroll with several addresses on it.
Cont.

>>27406383
>"I need a set of needles, new stand for one of my mannequins, several bolts of fabric need to be picked up from the depot, a daisy salad specially prepared for moi, and several other things explained in detail there for you."
>As you read the details, a bag of bits catches you off guard in the gut.
>"And I've already tabulated the cost of everything, so don't try sneaking off with the change. Now, go go go!"
>You are pushed out of the boutique with the door closing behind you.
>The crowd looks at you, saying nothing.
>You look back, and then leave going around them rather than through.
>The last thing you want is one of these maniacs finding out you got a job working with their waifu.

>>27406390
Act 2, Scene 8
>You are, uhhh,
>Who are you again?
>You set down your pipe and pull out your card.
>As you do that, a whole bunch of pistachios fall out too.
Aw, sweet!
>As you eat some nuts, you look at the card.
>'Anonymous #1402'
>But you misread it as 'Anonymous #1, 420!'
Yeaaah. Ha ha...
>You do a finger gun at the card and let it fall from your hand.
>You look around and see you're in a tree.
>Like, not up it, but in a hollow trunk.
>There are a couple paper designs on the walls.
>Wait, if it's a tree are they really walls?
>Whatever, the papers are long strips folded together, like when people knit things.
>Your grandma used to knit you things all the time. Like sweaters and beanies and socks and slippers and pajama bottoms and mug cozies and, uhh, and...
>You can't really remember what else she made.
>The paper thing's got three colors on it, red, yellow, and green.
>Where have you seen a color pattern like this before?
>You try to think, but as you do you look around the tree some more.
>There's a pile of hay where you were sitting.
Is that the bed... or the kitchen?
>You start giggling a lot. Ponies love them some hay.
>You try to get back to what you were thinking of before, but you forget.
>You decide to grab your pipe and leave the tree.
>You step out into Town Hall's Central Courtyard.
Woah, how'd I get here from the forest so quick?
>"Like. you didn't come from the forest, Anon, you were just in our paper-mache tree we made for the Mayor's Celebration"
Holy shit, a talking horse!
>Tree Hugger chuckles a bit at your joke, and you start to giggle too without realizing it.
>You suddenly realize you gotta whiz really bad.
Hey, can you look after this for me.
>You set the pipe down next to her.
>"Oh, sure. I'll take good care of it. You go have fun with some of the other ponies."
>You shoot her a finger gun, and head into Town Hall itself, right past the portajohns.
Cont.

>>27406403
>As you walk, you hear someone say "It's not like him to be late, and even if he were he'd at least say something, right?" and another voice say, "You can't keep hedging all your bets on this one guy, Vinyl, he's too weird." and the first one say, "But he's been really dependable so far! And he actually digs my sound, rather than fakes it to try and saddle up like other groupies!"
>In Town Hall, you walk over to the bathroom when this guy starts yelling at you from behind the bars.
>He's talking so fast you can't understand a word he's saying.
>Oh wait, shit, he's speaking spanish.
Donde esta es el Baño?
>He sighs, and points right behind you.
Oh, killer. Gracias.
>You go to relieve yourself.

>>27406407
Act 2, Scene 9
>You are Jacky, and you'll be damned if your cover is blown.
>Your real name is Special Agent Jackson, and as part of the CIA's fight against deep web porn distribution rings, you have been placed as a deep cover operative on 4chan's notorious ROBOT 9000 forum.
>You've spent so long under cover, that you indoctrinated some of these poster's strange idiosyncracies into your everyday demeanor.
>As such, you stopped going to the office and instead set up a base of operations in your ailing mother's retirement home.
>However, this does not mean you would go so far as to ask your poor sick mother for anything, let alone see you in this state.
>No, you instead get what you need through the hospital's staff.
>Due to your mission requiring you to monitor every single post, you've taken up their practice of relieving one's self into empty soda bottles as well.
>However, complications in the mission have arisen. Upon following an offsite link, you found yourself in a completely new locale. You have concluded you were kidnapped by people you've been monitoring.
>So, now the cover gets even deeper, as you must maintain the persona of what many of them refer to as a "Frog Poster".
>You have yet to decipher the call signs they use yet, but as far as you can tell, a Frog Poster is an agent in training for whatever their ring is operating in.
>The only way to ascend into the next level is to gain enough "Good Boy Points" to "buy" a "Mini Fridge".
>You are almost certain a Mini Fridge is code for a storage locker where they keep both severed limbs, and kidnapped children.
>However, along with gaining these points, you must also act in the persona of a juvenile delinquent, as many of these people are "NEETS", which you know to mean Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
>It's not all conjectural, and so you must act on your worst behavior. Especially since you are constantly under the watchful eye of their ringleader, who calls himself "Daddy".
Cont.

>>27406414
>You sit in the same position you have for the past 6 months, pretending to stimulate yourself to these strange broadcasts about an Indiana Jones-Type who is also a Horse. With Wings.
>The only thing you can think of that meaning is some cross between Heroin and Angel Dust.
>The program ends, and you slam a fist into the ground.
>Damn, why can't you find out what they're up to?
>You nearly topple your cereal bowl, but you save it.
>You need those Good Boy Points, you're only 37 away. If only there were some big thing you could do to prove to them you're ready for the next level.
>"Good job, Jacky. You didn't spill any." He is completely uninterested, but you act as if this was a great compliment. You clap your hands with glee, and grin like an idiot.
>Only 36 now.

>>27406418
Act 2, Scene 10
>"-So, it just makes that much more sense. Every point you've made so far only supports my argument."
>You groan, and it turns into a growl.
There is no possible way! Absolutely none! It would make no sense to what we've seen so far!
>"You must be a pharaoh, if you have this much denial. It fits in perfectly, and guess what, next time we get called to the corporate offices, we'll skip out and ask her ourself."
You can't be serious.
>"As a heart attack on the sabbath."
Fine! We'll skip out on any and all responsibilities we may have to go to Canterlot Castle itself, SOMEHOW make our way in without ANY prior interactions with any member of Royalty, and ask Princess Celestia herself, 'Uhh, say Princess, is it true that you're gonna make Starlight an Alicorn too?'
>"Well when you say it like that, you make it sound impossible. You know a lot of royal guards! Just ask one of them to pass the message along!"
And what about our jobs?
>"I hate this job! I wish we'd never started doing it! Not enough people want to actually name themselves so the system can track them, so we end up wasting thousands upon thousands of forms to give people the runabout. If people actually cared about their Identities, we'd have more luck getting them jobs and there wouldn't be six separate slums in this town!"
Oh Celestia, you're right. The system is inherently flawed, just like back on Earth. How could we expect anyone from this godforsaken site to want to work, even if it is with who are nice without ulterior motives.
>"Well, maybe it's possible we're the ones who caused this."
...How so?
>"Maybe it's not about their devaluation of identity, but our stubbornness to not actually track Anons as they arrive."
>You pull out the card from the body you just left out in the Everfree.
Cont.

>>27406425
>"Maybe if we start from scratch, convince our superiors to adopt a new method of registration into a real index, and encourage those already counted who really weren't to come back, we could rejuvenate the community enough so that when 'Anonymous #Whatever' dies, he's not just tossed out like garbage.
>You open your wallet and put Anon #12311's Card next to yours.
Well, it's certainly worth a shot.

>>27406432
Act 2, Scene 11
>You, Nowhere Man, finally pull yourself onto the roof of the brick building.
>You flop down on your and start breathing heavier than usual.
>You pull out your inhaler and give yourself a boost.
>Starting to breath easier, you take a look around.
>There's Mayor Mare's Party in the distance, and the Sun in the sky behind it.
>Checking your watch, you see it's already 3o'clock.
>You stand up and turn toward the fence.
>Looking left, you see there was a ladder on the back of the building.
Oh, come on. No, no time for grievances now, you've got a senior citizen to save.
>You get a running start, and leap...

>Kwikset has finally found the key to the front gate.
>"Alright, Nowhere, come on in. I'm sure you're in a hurry, so don't mind me. I'll be back in my office."
>And he walks back leaving the gate ajar.

>Your back leg, as in the leg you leapt with, gets caught on the fence, swinging you downward.
>Luckily, Kwikset forgot to lock the Dumpsters last night, so you have a slightly less hard landing straight into a pile of garbage.
>As you try to find which way is up amidst used condoms and soiled pillows, you hear a voice.
>"Say, you alright in there?"
I'm quite fine, Kwikset, it's you I'm concerned about.
>You start to struggle to the surface.
>Kwikset looks over himself, "What's wrong with me? You're the one who fell into the garbage."
>You finally pop your head out, to see Kwikset is as spry as he has been for the past months you've known him.
Oh, it was nothing.
>"Here son, let me help you out of there."
No, Kwikset, I can get out on my own. And even if I couldn't, I wouldn't want you to accidentally overexert yourself.
>You actually are struggling to get out, so only the second half of your statement is true.
>However, you are filled with new fervor, as now you only have to worry about getting DJ Pon-3 her Turntables before everyone else finishes setting up.

>>27406442
Act 2, Scene 12
>You are Anon, but they should call you Hercules with all these fucking errands you've been tasked with.
>It's not that there was anything particularly difficult about any of these assignments, aside from getting that stuffed shirt at the Café to give you the salad, it's that you had to navigate the town while the entire center block was cordoned off.
>You had to take the long way around everytime, since all the locations were listed on the opposite side of town from eachother.
>If you were able to walk in a straight line to every place in order, you wouldn't doubt it making a pentagram or whatever the pony symbol for summoning a demon is.
>That Rarity is a real Succubus, and if you didn't hate her so much, you'd think her plan was genius.
>'Hey, that reminds me of that greentext where Rarara hatefucks a guy!'
>Shut up, Lewd Thoughts.
>Aside from the proximity of love and hate in the brain, you've completed all but one task.
>You skipped this one because it'd be difficult to do with all this crap in your hands.
>So you stroll up to the door of Carousel Boutique and knock.
>"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, how can I- Oh, it's you."
>She doesn't have the same amount of hatred as earlier when she says that, just lachrymose surprise.
>You move past her and start putting down bags.
>"What are you doing back so early?"
First off, how could you time my movements so to have an approximate time of arrival without knowing if I could exceed these measurements. The only explanation is you wanted to waste my time. Hold on, I'm not done. Second, I am bringing these items to you, as they would impede me from retrieving your fabrics from the train station with utmost expediency.
>"...Are you mocking my demeanour, Anon?"
Oh, by no means my fair lady. I am simply raising myself to your level of loquaciousness so as to, uhh
>Shit, your blanking, what's a better word for tell? OH!
Better Relay information to you.
>Caught yourself right good there.
Cont.

>>27406449
>Miss Marshmallow is unamused.
>"I'm Sure. Well, then there's no need for you to be here any longer, the quicker you get my fabrics the quicker you get your jacket. Tata."
>You are once again escorted and shut out.
>You feel a thousand tiny pinpoints prickle over your skin, as the crowd stares silently.
>Fucking Waifufags.

>>27406455
Act 2, Scene 13
>Be Keith.
>Remember Keith?
>He's the Bellhop for Anon Acres.
>As such, he has an actual job to do from time to time other than tend to Jackson.
>For while he calls himself the Bellhop, he is also the Repairman, Housekeeping, Room Service, and Chef.
>Some other guy worked as the Janitor a while back, but all he did was harass everyone, so now the rule is 'Clean It, or It Stays Dirty.'
>You've rigged a unique setup for each apartment to alert you with anything they need, as Equestria lacks the technology for telephones yet.
>Well, some will argue they have phones in Manehatten, but you're not in Manehatten are you? So what's to you?
>Anyway, back to the system. Using a series of tubing, and some non-precious multicolor rocks, now apartment 17 can alert you to a toilet leak by using a blue stone, apartment 28 can ask for a menu by sending a red stone, and apartment 5 can get of his sorry ass if he wants to report a broken tube.
>Currently, you've already fulfilled all these tasks, except 5's tube since you'd have to go out and get more and you can't abandon your post. Plus, how would you get a tube anyway? You don't get pai
>That thought is interrupted when a yellow rock falls into room 33's slot. They need a new candle.
>You grab a candle from the utilities cabinet under your desk and head upstairs to deliver it.
Cont.

>>27406467
>Be the Anon in room 33.
>You've been working on a masterpiece of a thesis that's sure to get you into Starswirl's School for Gifted Unicorns.
>Arguing that Humans, while not magical creatures themselves, have a propensity to learn magic easily and that if you were to be enrolled you could likely create something, quote, Similar in construct to a unicorn's horn without the unicorn attached, while still functioning, end quote.
>Basically, you're saying you can make a magic wand.
>However, in the middle of your third paragraph, your candle unexpectedly went out.
>You take your bag of marbles and the chart explaining what each color does out into the hall to find which one will bring up a match or something.
>Upon, finding the appropriate color, yellow, you head back into your room and send it down the tube into the walls.
>A few moments later, the Bellboy knocks on your door.
Enter.
>He tries to open it, but bashes into the door.
Oh dear. Sorry, forgot to unlock it.
>"Yeah, whatever, here's your candle."
Candle? No, I requested a light. My candle is fine, it has merely gone out.
>"What? but you sent down a yellow marble, that means candle."
I thought it meant 'My candle has gone out'?
>"No, it means your candle has Run Out. Red is for Fire."
But my room's not on fire.
>"No, not ON fire. FOR fire. If your room's on fire, you can send down the orange rock. But if your room's actually on fire, it'd be better to just leave your room. These walls are so thick that if an inferno burns out room 7 completely, rooms 5 and 9 wouldn't even feel warmer."
Right, while I thank you for the lesson in Marble Etiquette, this does not solve my burnt out candle conundrum.
>"No problem, I'll just go get you a matchbook. In the meantime, keep the candle for when the other one does burn out."
Thank you.
>He walks back downstairs and you shut your door, once again sealing you in darkness.
Cont.

>>27406478
>You decide to open your curtains to capture the last of whatever sunlight is left, and see that it must be at least 6o'clock by now.
>And also that something particularly exciting is happening in the town center.
>But this is none of your concern, as soon you will be in Canterlot. Learning the ways of magic, and winning the heart of Moondancer.
>Moondancer, how she makes your heart soar.

>You, that is you being Keith (the Bellhop), arrive back at your desk and go to grab that matchbook when your hear the familiar clunk of a marble settling in its slot.
>Pocketing the matches, you see room 42 needs-
Popcorn?
>There is no marble solely for popcorn, but instead a popcorn kernel in the tube's slot.
>These fucking Anons, polluting your alert system.
>You're gonna go up and give that bastard on the Fourth Floor a piece of your
>You stop and look back.
Fourth Floor? This place doesn't have a fourth floor.
>Upon closer inspection, you see the words 'Honeymoon Suite' in incredibly small neon lights below the 42.
What the hell?
>The neon is in fact hot to the touch, as most light fixtures are, but it makes no sense. Equestria doesn't have electricity. Hell, they use magic to put broadcasts on the radio.
I guess 33 will have to- Wait, what am I saying? I'm gonna pass his room on the way up anyway.
>After a short pitstop to drop of that guy's matches, you turn to what was formerly a blank wall, but is now a set of stairs with that garish movie theater pattern carpeting.
>At the top of the steps, stands a menacing figure whose face is cast in shadow.
>You start to walk up the steps, and find yourself repeating the same three over and over.
>Could this be the work of an enemy stand?
>Nah, that'd be stupid.
>You start running up the stairs, but the staircase stretches out in front of you.
>You start hearing music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wp3rzAdwT8
>You stop, and are assaulted with images of parallel universes.
Cont.

>>27406489
>Suddenly, you are at the top of the staircase.
>Looking back down you see the third floor, only 14 steps away.
>You turn back around to the three rooms on this floor.
>40 to the left, 41 to the right, and 42 straight on.
>You consider getting a feeling so complicated, but figure that's enough JoJo for right now.
>You take the last couple steps, and knock on the door.
>It swings open, and inside is that same silhouette.
>But there's something familiar, something not human.
>"You're next line will be 'I don't get paid enough- wait I don't get- we already said enough with the JoJo!'"

After this is all the stuff I wrote after the original thread 404'd.

>>27406498
Act 2, Scene 14
>You are now someone else.
>And no, not Someone Else like it's a character with that name, but you are literally not yourself currently.
>You look down to your hands, and they look the same as always.
>Your suit is the same too.
>But there's this slight pain in the small of your back.
>Attempting to stretch alleviates none of it, but it's not like a stabbing pain anyway.
>More like when you get up in the morning and your bones are all stiff. It's not much of a bother, but you get rid of it anyway because it distracts you from the matter at hand.
>But since you can't be rid of it, you have to concentrate even harder.
>You take in your surroundings, a stark white room.
>Well, more like off-white.
>There's an off-white chair at an off-white table. And an off-white pair of curtains covering, you presume, an off-white window.
>You're not in the chair though, someone else is.
>You've got no idea where the hell you are, or just were a second before you entered the room.
>But, entered is too strong a word. More like appeared.
>But enough semantics. You are staring through the eyes of someone sat down at a table in a color coordinated room. And you have no idea who it is.
"Well, time to get to work."
>Your view turns to your left, and there is a black alligator skin suitcase on the floor beside the chair.
>A hand reaches out and picks up the suitcase, laying it flat on the table.
>The latches are undone, and inside is a set of papers.
>Some college ruled, some graph, some just plain printer paper.
>The whole stack is taken out and set aside.
>Also in the case is a Circle Stencil, several mechanical pencils, a plastic ruler, and some index cards.
>The right hand grabs a pencil, and the left shuts the case.
>Darkness.

>>27406508
Act 2, Scene 15
>It's been a hard day's night, to quote the british pop group.
>But you reconcile in your head one fact of which you are positive is the only positive.
>It can't get any worse than this.
>You give another heave to the wagon full of fabric you are dragging behind you.
>For all the insignificant details that whorse put into the list, she left one crucial detail out.
>How many bolts of fabric you had to pick up from the station.
>You're sure she left that out because she was banking on you taking multiple trips back and forth between the train depot and the boutique.
>Probably so she could close up shop and head down to this fucking party in the center of town, leaving you not only to take care of her fabric for her, but also to hold your winter coat hostage for another day full of errands.
>But just like her not expecting you to drop off everything else before picking up this, she also likely didn't expect you to try and bring all this cloth back at once.
>Lucky for you, you have a friend at the depot who was happy to lend you his wagon.
>You just hope he doesn't mind you returning the tires oval shaped, because the stress of the weight is compressing them to pieces.
>You give the wagon another heave, and finally get out of the housing district, and into the big open field between you and
>Aw shit, you forgot about the shanty town.
>Some anons wearing discarded dresses sitting around a can of corn over an open flame are the first to notice you.
>"OOH! RARA FABRA!"
>Those within range of the savage in the distressed faux-mink sling are sent into an uproar over your cargo.
>"RARA?" "RARARA!" "BESS PONEE!" "SWEE BEH?" "STICH BUH STICH..."
>You nearly insult their golden calf, when an idea forms.
Why yes, this is Rarity's order of fabric. I was hoping to get it to her before she left, because she'd be oh so disappointed if she didn't get it soon enough.
>They all quiet down a bit, but don't seem to grasp what you're saying.
Cont.

>>27406516
Oh, this cart is so heavy, if only some people strengthened by love were able to transport it more quickly.
>One of them suddenly straightens up before you. He's enormous, and could probably tear both your ears off with one hand.
>"I PUSH CARR, DEN RARA HIRE ME. NOT YOU."
>He's a smart one, smarter than the rest of them at least.
It'd be my pleasure to give it to you, how could I stand in the way of true love?
>He crouches down, meeting your height and whispers, well yells softer, "Me no wan love, me wan job. Den, me make frenz with men sik and spi."
Then, why not work at Sweet Apple Acres, you seem strong enough to buck apples.
>"You no geddit. Apl got nuff strenf, Rara don." He gets back up, and grabs the handle.
>The crowd clears a path for him. Which is strange, because you'd normally expect them to go tooth and nail over the opportunity to help their waifu.
>You decide it must be because he's so big, and all these other guys are about your build in varying degrees of fat.

>In no time at all, you reach the boutique's door.
>The big guy goes to knock, but you ring the bell before he breaks the door down.
>"I'm sorry, the boutique is closing early tonight, as I have prior plans that need tending to."
>Bull shit.
I know what you're trying to do!
>"Anon, do you really think I'm leaving just because I want to keep you apart from your jacket? I have a life outside of you, and it's quite a handful."
No, what you're doing is keeping out this poor Anon
>"Siegfried."
>What.
Ahem, this poor soul, Siegfried, from helping you with what I've been tasked from now on.
>You here her hoofsteps near the door, "Oh really? And just whom is this-" She opens the door, and is greeted with the wall of flesh that is Siegfried.
>You can see the sweat pool on her forehead.
>"Oh my. Y-you're quite the strapping fellow aren't you?"
>"For you."
>She grows a bit indignant, "I'm sorry?"
UHH, The Fabric!
>You motion to the cart.
The Fabric is for you!
Cont.

>>27406527
>Siggy nods in agreement, unaware of his implication.
>Rarity steps out into the night wearing her pink night gown.
>A couple hoots and hollers come from the shantytown, but are stifled by other anons saying, "SHE IS REFI!" "SHO RESPEK!"
>She ignores it, and investigates the cart.
>"Well Anon, I suppose congratulations are in order. I asked you to help me today-"
More like blackmailed into servitude.
>"And you have." Her horn glows, and your coat hits you in the face. "You can have this hideous thing back."
>Her demeanor grows more cordial, "And as for you, um Siegfried was it?" He nods again. "Seeing as you were capable enough to assist him over the final hurdle, and have not harassed me in the three minutes we've been standing here, I believe you may be able to assist me in running the boutique more efficiently. Come back tomorrow so I can have you fitted for a uniform that covers a bit more."
>This entire time she has been speaking, she's been taking the bolts inside with her magic. "But tonight, I have urgent business." She brings a pint of ice cream and a spoon to her lips. "Bonne nuit."
>The door closes and you don your coat.
Thanks for the help, SiegFRI-
>Siggy catches you in a bear hug, squeezing the air out of you.
>"Thank you, Anon! Now Siegfried have real job!"
No problem, buddy. But could you set me down, you're... kinda... choking me...
>He drops you on your ass.
>"Sorry, Anon. Me jus overjoyd!"
It's okay, I could understand if I got to work with my favorite pony.
>"Who your favrit anyway?"
You really wanna know?
>He thinks for a moment.
>"NOt really, akchewly."
>That caught you off guard.
Well, I'll see you around then, I guess.
>"Ye, maybee."
>On the path back to Anon Acres, you can't help but think how strange it was that he didn't actually care.
Meh, it's not like it's that important who your favorite is.
>But you know in your heart of hearts that Big Mac is Best Pony.
>Eeyup.

>>27406534
Act 2, Scene 16
>"Nowhere Dude, you made it!"
Aw geez. *Huff huff* Sorry I took so long, but I thought Kwikset had fainted, then I fell in some garbage, but he turned out to be okay, and then there was this weird guy-
>Vinyl wraps her hooves around you.
>"It's okay, I'm just glad you were able to make it at all."
>You crack a big grin. But it falters.
But what about the rig? It needs to be set up and calibrated. We don't have enough time for that.
>"It's fine Nowhere Dude, I'm not using that for my whole set. The live remix is the finale for the end of the night. You've got enough time to get it all set up.
>An enormous weight is lifted off your shoulders.
>In this moment, you are truly euphoric.
Cont.

>>27406548
>Meanwhile, back on the top floor of Anon Acres, you are confronted with something you never expected.
Discord?
>'The god of chaos stands before you in all his splendor, wrapped in the finest of fineries, a red velvet coat with white woolen accents. And he holds out to you a tray of delicacies the likes of which have never been seen with mortal eyes.'
>You shake your head. No, he's wearing a Santa suit and offering you a plate of cookies.
>"Not just any cookies, bellboy, these are double-carob chip cookies with a vanilla cream center."
Double-Carob?
>You can feel your stomach turn already.
Who eats carob when you're able to eat chocolate?
>"Plenty of people. You could very well ask, 'who eats dark chocolate when you can eat milk?' and have the same answer. It's an acquired taste."
Carob is an acquired taste.
>"Of course, but the only way to acquire it is to eat a square foot of carob every day for 300 years. Hence my phrasing 'the likes of which have never been seen with mortal eyes.'
You planted that thought in my head?
>'You can't help but think that of course, a being of such entropic power could make you think what he wants. But you also know that he'd have no real fun in it if everyone just agreed with him.'
Stop doing that.
>'Why should he?'
Because it may end up giving me an aneurysm. I have a history of those, you know.
>"Oh fine. If it's hazardous to your health."
>He poofs away the suit, but keeps the cookies, setting the tray down on the backstage vanity next to him.
So what exactly are you doing up here?
>"I'm afraid that's my line, bellboy. Take a look."
>Discord hands you a script with the words 'ACBCWL: FIRST DRAFT' on the front page. The pages turn until you reach Act 2, Scene 17.

>>27406555
Act 2, Scene 17
>DISCORD: So what exactly are you doing up here?
>KEITH, THE BELLHOP: I should ask you the same thing, since you've added an entire floor to the apartment building. And what's up with this?
>KEITH pulls out an UNPOPPED CORN KERNEL.
>DISCORD (In a very stilted voice): 'I'm afraid that's my line bellboy.'
>KEITH: What?
>DISCORD: I know, that doesn't sound right for the scene, does it? Especially since I said it after something I couldn't turn around on you.
>DISCORD pulls out a SCRIPT. He flips through to Act 2, Scene 17 and starts to read aloud.
>DISCORD (Skimming without any emotion): Discord says 'Oh fine. If it's hazardous to your health.' Poofs away his easter bunny outfit and keeps the deviled ostrich eggs. Keith asks 'So what exactly are you doing up here.' Discord says 'I'm afraid that's my line, bellboy.' and pull out the first draft of the script.
>DISCORD pauses, and looks to the front of the script he's holding. It reads 'ACBCWL: SECOND DRAFT'. He starts laughing.
>DISCORD: Oh, I see what the problem is! This is an old version of the script.
>KEITH: What do you need a script for? I'm asking you what the meaning of the corn kernel is.
>DISCORD: No, you don't understand. This, this that is happening right now, is an old version.
>KEITH (Visibly confused): What?
>DISCORD: That's right, we're the same characters, just in an old version of the scene where I confront you first.
>KEITH: Even if that were true, what would it matter who goes first?
>DISCORD: You must be joking. Actually, no you mustn't because I know comedy. Do you know how many fanboys were upset when the Remastered Edition of A New Hope had Greedo shoot first? It completely destroyed Han's characterization in the scene by making it look like he shot in defense. If I ask you then you turn it around on me, it makes you look more heroic. (He pauses to think to himself.) Maybe you aren't the same character in this version.
Cont.

>>27406565
>KEITH (Suddenly his hair is long and flowing, and his muscles ripple beneath his polo shirt): Enough talk, have at you! (He leaps forward.)

>>27406570
Act 2, Scene 18
>"Oh, my mistake, that's an old version."
>He takes the script back from you and stows it under one of the feet of his vanity, steadying it.
>Of course, you don't notice because your head is spinning a bit. But you recover in time for Discord to take a seat.
>"So, bellboy, why do you believe I called you up here tonight?"
Well, the only reason I ever go to any of the rooms is if I get an alert. And you sent down this corn kernel, so you must want me here.
>"Yes, very good. But tell me this. What does the corn kernel symbolize?"
>Symbolism? Oh god, you hated English class. Okay, what does popcorn do. Well it pops, stupid. Okay, so it changes from a kernel to a... what is the word for a popped piece of popcorn anyway?
>"The clock ticks ever closer to Seven, bellboy."
>Right, don't get sidetracked. What is a fancy word for when something changes into something else? Uhh... Oh!
A Metamorphosis?
>"Very good! But also wrong. You're thinking of it wrong. It's not about what comes next, but how it gets there. Try thinking more literally."
>He starts to blow up like a balloon. But like one of those thin ones they use for making dogs. Suddenly, he pops and all his pieces scatter in his chair, then he reforms looking at you expectantly.
Uhh, an explosion?
>A klaxon bell starts going off, and all the lights on his vanity start flashing.
>"Thaaaaaaaaat's right, bellboy! Discord, tell him what he's won."
>He gestures over to the side, and the room deepens out into one of those The Price is Right Prize Stages.
>"Well Discord, he's won the knowledge of how tonight is going to the biggest change to Equestria since this building appeared on the edge of town!"
>The curtain rises, and you see searchlights in the distance.
>"What you see there, Keith, is Mayor Mare's 5th Year in Office party. But it won't be that for long."
>He chuckles and leaves you to watch the fireworks.

>>27406580
Act 2, Scene 19
>Man, that was a lot of piss.
>You zip up your fly and go over to the sink to wash your hands.
>Man, that was so much piss that you're starting to lose your buzz.
>Good thing you're about to go back out to the party, you can get your pipe back from Tree Hugger.
>Man, she's one groovy chick.
>Jeez, do you always sound this dumb?
>Nah, it's probably just cause your sobering up.
>You turn off the sink, and turn to the air hand dryer, when the whole building starts rocking.
>You rush out of the restroom to see a huge whole in the wall of the prison cell leading to outside the building.
>Woah, maybe you are still high.

>Estás Anonymous.
>Y nuestra abuela siempre le ha dicho, si sólo tenía un disparo a no dejar que se escape.
>Eso será mejor que no lo deja ir.
>Y mi sorpresa, que ha encontrado esto en el compañero de celda que estabas tan asustado por todo el tiempo que estaban atrapados allí con él.
>Cuando se le dijo que tenía la intención de romper, que recibió de rodillas y le rogó que le llevará a lo largo. Que sólo quería ir a Appleoosa.
>Parecía que han entendido, y ahora los dos se están ejecutando a través de la Everfree, con varios Pegasus en la persecución.
>Bueno, él está corriendo, usted está montando a lo largo de su espalda. No hay manera de que sería capaz de mantenerse al día con él sólo en sus dos pies.
>Él grita algo de vuelta a usted, pero realmente no se puede entender.
>Usted decide acaba de celebrar en una rama baja colgante viene más estricto en el caso.
>Se cayó sin peso, el viento azota su cara. El bosque deja de moverse más allá de usted de delante hacia atrás y en su lugar se mueve de abajo hacia arriba.
>Ambos entrar al agua al mismo tiempo.
Cont.

>>27406594
>That night in Ponyville, a lot happened.
>Some were happy to have what they had.
>Others still pined for another place.
>But only one didn't want to go anywhere. Which is unfortunate, because if she had she would still be alive.
>The funeral was a close affair, but that's not saying much when you know everyone in town.
>Pinkie had locked herself in her room, ashamed she could have let this happen. Over time, her best friends and a few other friends helped convince her there was nothing she could have done.
>Posters were plastered all over town, and several hundred more copies were sent out across the land.
>They all had the same photo, of the white faceless person, and the caption read 'Anonymous Enemy #1. Wanted Dead or Alive. Reward of 10,000 Bits and a Knighting.'
>That night in Ponyville, Mayor Mare celebrated her last year in office.
>That night in Ponyville, only four people knew what really happened.

>>27406598
Epilogue
>"Well, this is sure to open many new opportunities."
A pony died, Ron.
>"Yeah, it's a real shame. I'm not downplaying her death, I'm just saying she was holding the system back, and now that she's not in the way"
Because she's six feet under.
>"We can completely reform the process. Like we've been talking about! We were the only ones able to step up in her absence, because noone else cares enough. Yes, it's terrible that she's gone, who knows who will run Ponyville now. But that's not our problem. We're just members of the Anonymous Census Bureau, we don't have to run a city."
Yeah, we just have to keep track of all the humans in it. All... however many there are.
>Who even knows how many humans are in Ponyville anyway? You've never kept track so far.
>"Heh."
What?
>"I know it's a real somber way to look at it, but each big decision we made was caused by a death. Because of that Anon"
12311
>"Yeah, we decided to restructure the system, and now because of Mayor Mare, we get to go to Canterlot to present our idea to the Corporate Head. Maybe we could set up additional offices in the Crystal Empire, Manehatten, Appleoosa, and even foreign places like Saddle Arabia, Griffonstone, and Yakyakistan!"
What are you, a walking atlas? I've never even heard of Yakyakistan.
>"It was in Party Pooped, Season 5 Episode 11. Pinkie Pie tries to entertain several Yak ambassadors so they don't destroy Ponyville."
Really? That's what they named the homeland?
>"Well how is Griffonstone any more creative."
It just sounds inherently more realistic. I don't really know why Griffonstone works, but Yakistan doesn't because it's just the species name with a suffix.
>"You know where else is-?"
Yeah, I know. Ponyville. But that's because it's the main location. It doesn't have to sound flashy.
>"You've got a point, but I still think Yakyakistan sounds fine. Could you come up with something better?"
>You think for a moment.
>"I said-"
I heard ya, just gimme a few minutes.
...

>>27406632
I'm gonna be working on Act 3, but won't post it until I've finished it.
As a small teaser, the main location the story takes place in will be Canterlot. But it won't be sequestered to it like Act 2.

>>27406663
Oh, and here are the Ya Es Hora Translations.
>>27406350
>You are Anonymous.
>You've been stuck in this cell for who knows how long.
>It's really terrible what American will do when faced with foreigners.
>It's even more terrible that they still act this way in what is a foreign coutry, even if all the ponies do speak English.
>You really had high hopes when you first arrived. You were going to be a cowboy in Appleoosa.
>People would write folk songs about you, and you'd introduce a new language into the world.
>But no, these people have to be so wrapped up in their own lives that they consider you a nuisance.
>They kept repeating "No Es Hora" at you as they forced you in here.
>But the worst of it is your cell mate.

>>27406594
>You are Anonymous.
>And our grandmother always told you, if you only had one shot to not let it slip away.
>That you better never let it go.
>And surpisingly, you have found this in the cell mate you were so scared of for as long as you were stuck in there with him.
>When he told you he was planning on breaking out, you got on your knees and begged him to take you along. That you only wanted to go to Appleoosa.
>He seemed to have understood you, and now the two of you are running through the Everfree, with various pegasus in hot pursuit.
>Well, he's running, you're riding along on his back. There's no way you would be able to keep up with him on only your two feet.
>He shouts something back at you, but you can't really understand.
>You decide to just hold on tighter in case a low hanging branch is coming
>You fell weightless, the wind whips your face. The forest stops moving past you from front to back and instead moves from bottom to top.
>You both hit the water at the same time.

>>27406695
aight

>>27403152
milk

>>27406695
Not bad, thanks for the green.

>>27405850
Dyke-on-human Luna ... that's not something we see often.

>>27409491
Luna being lewd with alien women. I can get behind that.

>>27407889
L-lewd

>>27410029
Indeed.

Need request.

>>27411528
Anonymous goes for the cmc's show and tell and demonstrates how to make crystals using ammonia and bleach.
Then, he makes a glowstick with mt dew and a nickel.
To his surprise, it all actually works.

>>27411561
Fuckin magic, how does it work?

>There was sort of an awkward silence as, with a shy peck on the cheek, Twilight carefully got out of your lap and made her way back over to the princesses/queens
>Though she was redder than Big Mac her little chest was puffed out and she was walking with the kind of confidence that you don't think you've ever seen in the little purple princess
>Purple pone princess haf done it and done it good
>You, on the other hand, were sitting there in soiled pants, sweaty and still breathing hard, wondering what to do even as you basked in your afterglow
>You couldn't go back into your house to get a new change of clothes; if this was going the way you thought it was gonna go you'd just end up ruining more pants
>That and if Caramel and the others heard you rooting around your bedroom they might start REALLY trying to break your bathroom door down
>Should you just say fuck it and go pants-less for the remainder of this?
>Did you just take your underwear off and go commando at the risk of soiling your nice dress pants as well?
>You REALLY didn't want to just sit in cum-covered underwear since it felt all sticky and gross and shit ...
>So what to do...
>What to do...
>As you were pondering these most important of life decisions you didn't notice that Chrysalis, with a look of predatory hunger in her eyes, began to saunter over to you, a sway in her step
>You also didn't notice the queen's horn glowing, but you did feel the cum disappearing from your pants to places unknown
>You twitched in startlement just as Chrysalis leaned in to nuzzle your ear
>"There you are, my little morsel," she cooed. "We wouldn't want you soiled for the rest of this amusing competition now would we?"
>Your hands instantly went to your crotch, checking to see if everything was in its proper place
>Lets see...
>Your cock was where you left it this morning...
>Your balls were accounted for...
>Annnnnd the question mark that you had shaved your pubes into was still intact
>Thank almighty god

>>27411843
>The Changeling queen giggled as she watched your little pat down/freak out
>"Take all of the time you need, my dear," she said, nuzzling your cheek in an almost affectionate manner. "Because when you're ready I intent to take all of the time in the world with you~"
>...
>Neat
>Giving you a toothy smile, Chrysalis took a step back, turned around, and presented you her rear
>"You know, I should be thanking you," she said, giving her butt a playful jiggle. "Without your little "butt-off" there would be no way that I'd have acquired enough love for THIS."
>Your head cocked to the side
>Love?
>There were a lot of emotions that had been raging all day but you don't think that one of them was love...
>Chrysalis caught your confused look, giggling once more
>"Love, lust, want; it's all the same to a Changeling," she said, her tail flicking out of the way to give you a better look. "Though, truth be told, I've always found pure lust to be the most filling, if you catch my meaning~"
>...
>Wait
>Is she saying that because she adsorbed all of that lust that was coming off of the crowd her butt got bigger?
>Maybe the better question was if the queen was saying what you thought she was saying did that mean Changelings stored emotion in their butts, making them bigger and juicier?
>You looked at the big, jiggly flank in front of you that was contained not at all by the lime green panties that the queen was wearing
>...
>BECAUSE IF THAT'S THE CASE THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!
>REALLY FUCKING AWESOME!
>WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS SOONER?!
>Almost as if Chrysalis knew what you were thinking, the queen bucked her hips, clapping her butt cheeks together
>"Come on now, don't be shy. It's been a very long time since I've had a stallion that has wished to touch me in this form."
>YES MA'AM!

>>27411851
>You sat up onto the edge of your seat, your hands reaching up to grab the queen's panties so that you could see your first Changeling butt in all of its glory when, suddenly, you found yourself nose deep between the queen's cheeks
>It was just for a moment, barely a moment really, but it was long enough that the scent of sour apples filled your nose
>That and you could definitely feel a bit of wetness on the tip
>...
>Of your nose you mean; the tip of your nose
>"Chrysalis!" Celestia barked
>"Oh, my apologies," she said, looking back at you with mischief(and was that a little blush?) in her eyes. "I seem to have so much rump now that I don't know how to properly handle it."
>She looked back at a fuming Celestia
>"I'm sure that you know what it's like, PRINCESS."
>Celestia's eye twitched as dozens of tiny flames erupted across her mane
>She took a step forward, sucking in a breath so that she could start god horse shouting, but you quickly cleared your throat
"It's fine, Princess, I'm sure that she didn't mean it," you said, patting Chrysalis on the rump
>"Yes, yes, it was an accident and I feel absolutely awful; shoving a poor, defenseless stallion's face in between my cheeks," Chrysalis said with a nod as she tickled your nose with the tip of her crazy seaweed-like tail
>Celestia's nose scrunched up, and she looked like she wanted to argue, but she backed down when you gave her a look
>You know that one
>"...Very well," she said with a sigh, stepping back into line. "But I swear on my sun if you hurt a hair on his head..."
>Chrysalis blew her a kiss before wiggling her rump once more, singling for you to continue
>And continue you did, reaching up and grabbing the queen's panties
>Chrysalis' wings fluttered at your touch and she looked back at you, her eyes almost glowing as you began to pull her undergarments down
>"You know, it's oddly refreshing to find a stallion that is so willing to let his baser instincts take over."

>>27411860
>You could feel the queen's tail begin to stroke your leg before slipping down your pants through your zipper
>...Which it somehow managed to pull down...
>Nevertheless you didn't say a word as the queen continued
>"Stallions are such delicate and sad things I've found. They can have their pick of mares, mares that are more than willing to cater to their every need and desire if they but ask, and still they wish to play hard to get."
>Your cock twitched as the queen's tail grazed your overly sensitive yet still hardening member
>"Take me to dinner, tell me I'm beautiful, talk to me, put me up on a pedestal, tell me I'm the most wonderful thing in the world; they wish you to do all of these worthless things even as their bodies demand simpler things."
>Chrysalis' panties hit the ground, and for the first time you got to see the queen's backside in all of it's glory
>It was just as big as Cadence's had been, though with a bit more fat, with a pair of legs that made your mouth water
>Though she was still all smiles and heated looks Chrysalis's breath hitched as you dug your fingers into her rump, the blush on her face growing
>Her ass was different from a pony's
>She had no fur--her chitin felt like well-worn leather more than anything-- and on closer inspection you noticed that her butt had a good deal more fat than Cadence or Twilight's, but it was that dense fat; the kind that'd easily turn into muscle if the queen did a little exercise
>But even with all of that fat her rump was still that perfect heart-shape that you loved
>"But you're not like most stallions, Anonymous. No, while those pony princesses over there see you as some thing that needs protecting I know better."
>Even as it stroked you to full hardness, Chrysalis somehow managed to move her tail out of the way so that she could show you a perfect little ponut and a tight little marehood that appeared to be leaking liquid that belonged in a glow stick since it was glowing and shit

>>27411869
>You spread the queen's cheeks to get a better look, feeling the very real weight in her flanks, before smoshing them together
>Chrysalis let out a quiet moan, pressing herself back against you
>Her eyes glazed over for a moment, her breathing ragged, but then she was once again focused and sharp and sexy
>"I am not some pathetic pink princess that dares not touch a stallion for fear of what her husband things and I am not s-some child that had never felt the touch of a colt. I can taste your want, I can see that hunger in your eyes. If you had your way all of us would be in the throngs of p-passion as I speak, with you in the center of it all."
>You hiss through your teeth as the queen's tail tickles your tip, a spurt of pre firing out of your member
>Your hands find themselves on the place the queen's cutiemark would be if she had one, your thumbs rubbing circles into her chitin as your hands squeezed and groped
>"Hmm~ It truly warms my heart to see such a stallion like you out and about," Chrysalis purred as your toes curled from the pleasure you were experiencing
>Giving the queen's rump one last squeeze you let go of her butt and sat back into your seat
>The inspection was over
>It was time to get to the good part
>The meat of this is you will
>Chrysalis licked her lips as she backed up and sat in your lap, quickly spinning around so that she could face you
>"Though I'd much rather have you--eep!"
>As she spun around her tail, still firmly coiled around your Johnson, slipped out from your zipper
>This, in turn, pulled out your VERY hard cock, which at that moment found itself pressing up against the queen's soaked slit
>And just like that the alluring, husky succubus that had been teasing you just a moment before was gone
>In her place was Twilight 2.O
>Chrysalis' eyes widened as she looked down to see you rubbing against her
>She wiggled her backside, which felt DELICIOUS in your lap, as she let out another eep

>>27411875
>"I-I, u-um, o-oh..."
>She bit her lip as a blush came to her face
>"O-Oh my..."
>And that brought you out of your lust-fueled haze
>...
"...You alright there, queenie?"
>Chrysalis'gazed flicked from your cock to your face
>The princesses and even Nightmare Moon looked shocked at Chrysalis' complete one-eighty in demeanor
>All except Princess Cadence, who was smiling smugly
>"What's wrong, Chrysalis? You look a little flustered," she singsonged
>"I am NOT flustered you blasted alicorn," Chrysalis snarled. "I am--epp!"
>As she turned to look at the pink princess once again your cock brushed against her most sacred place
>She twitched, her wings buzzing, as her hooves flew toward her mouth
>As she gasped you couldn't help but frown slightly
>Where the HELL was this coming from?
>Not a minute ago she looked like she was about ready to fuck you in front of all of these mares...
>"All of that big talk but big, bad Chrissy freezes up at the sight of a stallion's cock."
>"S-Shut up!"
>"You know I always wondered why you never tried anything with Shining when you had him under your control..."
>"S-Shut your mouth b-before I MAKE you shut it, C-Cadenza!"
>"Not had the touch of a stallion in quite some time? I have a feeling that you haven't "had a stallion" in far longer than that."
>"B-Be quit!"
>"Have you even kissed a stallion before, Chrysalis?"
>"SHUT UP!"
>Cadence didn't say a word after that, though the smug look on her face said all that you need to know
>Chrysalis, meanwhile, seemed to sink into herself
>"I had h-him right where I wanted him," she mumbled to herself, looking off to the side. "I teased him, I t-talked dirty and he even played with my f-flank. I was f-fine with that..."
>She looked back down at your cock, biting her lip when she noticed that your member was absolutely coated in her juices, before she looked away
>"So w-why... I c-can't I..."
>...
>You are confused...
>You are very, very confused...
>...

>>27411884
>But even so you found yourself reaching up to grab the Queen's withers
>Her gaze darted back to your face, her eyes still huge
"Queen Chrysalis," you say, trying to sound as firm as you could without scaring the bug in your lap. "I'm going to scooch you up a little bit since you're about to fall out of my lap. While I'm doing that I'd be ever so grateful if you took a few deep breaths."
>You could see the queen desperately trying to save face but failing as you gave her withers a squeeze
>She wiggled her rump again and both of you winced as your cock teased her opening
>"I, um, I, w-well, how about I-I--"
"Come on, breathe in and out just like Twilight did," you encouraged, discreetly reaching down and grabbing your cock so that you could try to wrestle it back into your pants
>Not today boner
>Not like this
"Ignore everything else; just look at me and BREATHE."
>You might not have known what the hell had gotten into the Changeling but you sure as hell knew how to deal with women; horse women to be precise
>You weren't very good with human women--who knew that you WEREN'T supposed to shake a girl to calm her down? You sure as shit didn't-- but there were no human women here
>There were horse women, what could be considered an eldritch horror and a big bug
>A big bug who you were GETTING a lap dance from goddammit
>Chrysalis began taking deep breaths
>In...
>And out...
>In...
>And out...
>It took her a little longer than Twilight to calm down but eventually her eyes weren't as wide and she didn't look like she was going to have a heart attack
>You smiled up at her
"Feel better?"
>Her lips formed into a nervous smile
>"Y-Yes. Thank you."
>You gave her withers one last squeeze before you tried to stuff your dick back into your zipper
>Though you weren't ready to bend this bug over and keep thrusting until she was stuffed full of your babies, you were still more than hard enough to make stuffing Anon Jr. back into your pants difficult

>>27411890
>Chrysalis' eyes drifted back down to your crotch
>"A-Anon, your future queen has a request."
>You stopped pawing at your wang to stare up at her
>She was biting her lip, her face once again turning red
>To your surprise she scooched up so that your dick was once again mashed up against her folds
>"C-Could you keep that out. P-Please?"
"...Are you sure?"
>Not that you weren't okay with it but you didn't want her freaking out again...
>Chrysalis nodded, her head motions just a hair jerky
>"Your Q-Queen hinted that she would bring y-you to heights of p-pleasure unlike any you've ever felt a-and I would like s-some s-satisfaction myself."
>The two of you stared at each other for a moment, her staring pleadingly at you and you staring questionably at her
>...
>Finally, you let go of your wiener, placing your hands on her hips
"As you command," you say, with an inclination of the head
>The way that Chrysalis' face just lights up brought a smile to your face
>...
>Wow...
>There's a sentence you didn't think you'd be saying today
>...
>Anyway, as the queen's face lit up she leaned forward
>That weird, seaweed mane of her cascaded around her face, tickling your cheeks as she leaned down and gave your cheek a chaste kiss
>As she did that her horn glowed, her magic encasing your member as she lifted her rear high up into the air
>"Oh, I've ALWAYS w-wanted to do this with a stallion..."
>Her joy-filled eyes found yours
>"If I do anything to h-hurt you don't hesitate to tell me."
>Aw, this big bad bug isn't all that bad after all...
>You gave her cheek a kiss as her magic stroked you full twitching, aching hardness
"I promise. But don't go too easy on me now; I'm a big boy."
>Chrysalis, with a nervous yet excited giggle, leaned forward so that her muzzle was once again by your ear
>"Yes," she said. "Yes you are~"
>Giving your ear a teasing nip, Chrysalis, the Queen of the Changelings, then sat down, smothering your member in between her butt cheeks

>>27411898
>For a moment you don't register anything
>But then it hit you
>It hit you like a speeding freight train that just so happened to be on fire
>Your fingers dig into Chrysalis' flank as your sudden pleasure-filled hiss turned into a loud and long moan
>Your hips ducked hard, sending the surprisingly light queen into the air before she came crashing down, swallowing every single inch of your cock in between those wonderful cheeks of hers
>There was no resistance at all; your cock was perfectly lubricated with both her and your pre
>You could feel every inch of those squishy, warm malleable cheeks and it was...
>It was...
>Chrysalis giggled cutely as you did your best to keep yourself from going into shock
>"Doesn't that feel w-wonderful?" she asked, her hot breath washing over your neck
>She raised herself up a bit until just your tip is in between your cheeks
>She wiggled her rump, making you throb as your pre was rubbed into her chitin
>Kissing your neck, she then slammed herself dowfcwfnlsfhsfcnd;!
>Your back arched as a loud clap filled the air, your whole body spasming
>Chrysalis, with a breathy giggle, held you close against her chest, keeping you in place with her hooves as she slowly, tortuously, began to raise her rump back into the air
>"From the way I feel you t-twitching I can tell that it f-feels nice~"
SLAM!
>"...I-It does feel nice r-right?"
SLAM!
>"I'm n-not hurting you am I?"
SLAM!
>You let out a groan as the Changeling queen nuzzled your face, your fingers digging into her rump
>Her movements were slow and slightly awkward, like she really didn't know what she was doing
>Every once in a while she'd raise herself up a little too high and your cock would slip from in between her cheeks so when she slammed down you'd grind up against her marehood
>...Bughood?
>...
>Pussy
>Her pussy
>She'd also slam down a little too hard and lose her balance, forcing you to grab onto her so that she didn't fall off you
>But goddamn if it didn't feel great

>>27411907
>Your pleasure was only added as Chrysalis grew bolder, using your shoulders as support as she rubbed her folds against your cock or teasing the tip of your cock with her ponut
>Every once in a while she'd just tense her flank hard, peppering your face with kisses and licks until you were squirming
>Not wanting to be a chump, you had tried to give as good as you got
>Ideal hands were the devil's playthings, and your hands were particularly devil-y today
>They squeezed every inch of the queen's flank, getting acquainted with ever single inch
>Then they found themselves playing with the queen's legs, squeezing and tugging on her thighs and even fingering the giant holes checkered throughout them
>If you liked what Chrissy was doing to you she LOVED what you were doing to her
>The Changeling tensed and twitched at your every touch, her moans loud and long and HUSKY
>Her nuzzles and kisses and grinding became rougher and more needy until, not able to take it anymore, Chrysalis used her magic to lift your hands above your head
>With nothing to distract her, the queen then hit you with your one true weakness
>Dirty talk
>"Are you enjoying the treatment that your queen is lavishing upon you, Anon?" she purred, her long, long tongue dragging along your neck. "Are you going to give your queen all of your love? Are you going to fill her?~"
>You twitched as she grinded herself into your lap, your hips bucking
>You were close; so horribly, terribly close
>You had been for a while now but Chrysalis, the horribly wonderful bug that she was, had taken it upon herself to keep you on the edge
>"I can feel your balls churning. You want to finish don't you, colt?"
>Another loud, meaty slap filled the air
>Chrysalis nosed your neck as you desperately tried to catch your breath, her eyes shining
>"You want to paint your queen's backside with your s-seed, d-don't you?"
>You gasped as her flank tensed, crushing your member in impossible tightnesadjlbsdcbskdjcbskdjbc!

>>27411919
>Chrysalis kissed your cheek as she raised her rear up
>"Luckily for you I am a kind queen~ Cum; cum for me."
>She grabbed you by the face, forcing you to look into her eyes
>She wiggled her backside, teasing your tip
>"Cum~"
>She sat down in one fluid motion as she pulled you into a kiss, her lips crashing against yours
>You screamed in her mouth, your whole body tensing as your orgasm swept through you with the force of a hurricane
>afdvdnfvcdn slnfnvhslfvhsf vslfnvhcslfvsldf grfgsifnxhaledhqmsdx cefqleiufqenfq aeucfhladxaln!!!
>As you twitched and tensed you could hear Chrysalis giggle into your mouth as your cum fired up her crack with so much force that you were nearly coating her wings
>Shot after shot of cum fired out of your cock, so many that you'd never thought that it would end
>And you didn't want it to end
>Never ever
>The queen slowly bucked her hips, trying to prologue your orgasm as much as possible, before she lifted herself up and slammed herself down so that you were grinding against her marehood once more
>You let out one last startled moan, your cock firing two more burst onto the queen's belly before your body went FUCKING LIMP
>For another minute or two Chrysalis continued to grind herself against you, that long tongue of hers rooting around in your mouth, exploring every inch of it
>If you didn't know any better she was licking something up...
>Finally, she drew back, looking as please as punch as she licked her lips
>"So... how was t-that, Anon?" she asked, looking just a hair nervous for some reason
>You wouldn't know WHY
>She was sitting in your lap and the two of you were covered in each other's cum; it's not like you needed to be bashful about anything
>Though you felt positively brain-dead you cracked open an eye to look at her
"If I had... any money I'd... give you all... of... it," you mumbled, giving her rump a little squeeze. "And my pants... You can have my pants... if you want..."

>>27411926
>She giggled at that, leaning in to give your cheek a kiss
>"Thank you for letting me have my fun. Not many stallions willingly take a queen as a lover," she whispered in your ear. "You also tasted wonderful by the way."
>Giving you a little hug, and another kiss, the Queen of the Bugs hopped out of your lap, and was about to make her way back toward the other god-horses, when she stopped
>Looking over her shoulder she gave you a heated look, giving her backside a teasing shake
>With your one eye you stared down at that wonderful, grand ass to see that it was absolutely COVERED in your cum
>And, if you didn't know any better, you'd say that her butt had gotten a bit bigger
>... U-Unf
>Though you were as drained as you had ever felt in your life you could feel your cock twitch at the sight
>No...
>No old boy...
>The spirit might have been willing but the body was weak
>Weak and fleshy and more than a little sore
>You let out another groan, closing both of your eyes
>Chrysalis giggled, looking over at a red-faced Cadence
>She didn't say anything but her look said all that needed to be said, though sticking her tongue out at her might have been a little much
>But you didn't see any of that though
>You were laying in your chair, sweaty and sticky and ready to just lie down and take a nap
>If your pants weren't ruined before they sure as shit were now
>You were probably going to have to burn 'em after all of this was over
>No sense getting chewed out by dress horse...
>...
>Who were you kidding?
>Dress horse was gonna chew you out no matter what you did
>Not that you minded
>A scrunchy, upset dress horse was a qt little horse
>"Though a Changeling queen must master the art of seduction before they fully mature many of them don't feel the touch of a stallion until long after they have created a hive of their own."
>You cracked open an eye to see Princess Luna standing next to you

>>27411936
>Jesus Christ was that horse quiet...
>Someone needed to put a bell on her or something...
>"As Chrysalis said not many stallions are willing to take beings like her to bed, so many changelings must control or even force their first male to bed," the princess continued, just a hint of a smile on her face
>She looked over at you as you once again closed your eyes
>Something-something-grumble-something-moan
>"Though, in Chrysalis' case, it looks like she was one of the lucky ones to have found a willing partner."
"We didn't have sex," you croaked out
>You heard Luna move so that she directly in front of you
>"T'was close enough."
"...Are you saying that she hadn't had sex before? Doesn't she have like a million kids or something?"
>You once again opened an eye to see the Princess of the Night looming over you
>"That's what I gathered from how she interacted with you," she said with a shrug. "And a Changeling queen will only carry another queen when she finds, or steals, a mate. As for the drones they are made... through other means..."
>Your eye flicked back over to the Changeling, who was excitedly chatting with Nightmare Moon, who had this amused half-smile on her face
>...
>You had watched enough anime's to know what she was getting at
> And that was also kind, sorta your fetish. N-No homo
>Your cock twitched at... thoughts
>Luna's gazed down in between your legs
>"Hmph, you seem to be a very virile stallion," she commented
>You couldn't help but weakly grin at that
"You should have... seen me when I... was a teenager."
>Luna's horn glowed and you found yourself without any pants whatsoever
>"Take a few moments to rest, Anonymous. I shall get you ready for my inspection, since I intent to go next."
>Whatever tiredness that you felt vanished as the Princess of the Night dipped her head down and ran her tongue across your lower stomach>Whatthefuckisthisfillydoing?!
>Luna raised her eyebrow at your reaction

>>27411947
>"Calm yourself, stallion. I am simply cleaning you off," she said, licking a bit of Chrysalis's green cum off of her lips
>Ever fiber of your being told you to just shut your mouth
>If this wasn't some dream and a princess was going to lick your lower body clean then you should just let her
>But, of course, you couldn't help but say something
>Like the putz you were
"...W-With your mouth though?"
>"If I am to sit in your lap I would like a clean lap to sit on," she said matter-of-factly. "And 'tis not the first time I have had to clean a messy stallion with naught but my tongue."
>...
> That's your other-other-OTHER fetish
>"L-Luna! Just what do you think you're doing over there?!" A red-faced Celestia demanded
>Luna stopped what she was doing to look at her big sister
>"I think that you know what I'm doing, sister," she said with a deadpanned expression
>Celestia flinched as if struck
>"Sister, we cannot--"
>"All day we have been watching this stallion have his way with mare after mare and you did not speak up. Even when your own student was in the throngs of passion with him not a peep came out of your mouth, but now that I wish to have a little fun you decide to speak up."
>"But--"
>Luna turned toward you
>"Anonymous, if you have any reservations with me having my way with you you are more than welcome to go."
>Stepping away from you, Luna gestured toward your house with a wing
>"I nor anypony here will not stop you and we most certainly won't force you to do anything that you do not wish to do."
>...
>...
>...
>Was this fucking horse out of her mind?!
>Fuck THAT!
>Fuck that all the way to Fuck You City, Illinois!
>There must have been one hell of a look on your face because Luna let out a chuckle
>"See sister? This stallion wishes to be here so much that I am certain that we would have to force him out of his chair to make him leave."

>>27411955
>Princess Celestia, with a mixture of shock, outrage, and embarrassment, looked like, for the second time that day, she wanted nothing more than to argue with her sister, but, as she stared at the two of you, not a single word of protest came out of her mouth
>Luna, with a triumph smile, turned back to you
>"Now, are you ready for your cleaning, Anonymous?"
>If you nodded your head any harder you might have broken your neck as you spread your legs nice and wide
"Yep. Aha. Yeah. Yes. I would like that very much please."
>"Very well," she said with a nod. "Let us begin at once then."
>Not breaking eye contact with you, Luna began the arduous task of cleaning your belly, your legs and your bits with nothing but her tongue
>While you had been wearing pants as Chrysalis had had her way with you the changeling had been VERY excited
>Your dick and balls were coated in her cum, and ever were smatterings of it on your legs
>But even so Luna took to the task with relish
>Her long, horsey tongue was prefect to getting all of both yours and the changeling's cum off of your body
>You found yourself rapidly hardening as hums and slurps filled the air
>"Though we find the Changeling's seed a tad sour I find yours oddly delightful, subject," Luna said, her cheeks a bit messy as she gave your tip a kiss
>You shivered
"I make sure to... eat as much... fruit as I can."
>"Ah, a considerate lover then. 'Tis hard to find such a trait in modern stallions nowadays."
>You let out a quiet groan as the princess swallowed your semi-hard cock with little effort, her tongue swirling around your length
>You bucked your hips into Luna's mouth, your balls slapping against her chin
>Mashing her muzzle against your pubis region, Luna held her VERY pleasurable position for a few moments before breaking away with a gasp

>>27411964
>"'Tis been an age since we have felt a stallion's cock harden in our mouth," she said, once again licking her lips. "I must say the sensation is just as pleasurable as I remember."
>...
>You were going to marry this horse
>You were going to carry this horse down the aisle, you were going to have kids with her and you were going to spend your golden years with her
>God fucking dammit
>After a THOROUGH cleaning of your balls (and by thorough you meant Luna spent nearly ten minutes coating your sack with her spit as she slapped your cock against her cheeks and nose) Luna finally drew away, standing up to her full height
>Her horn glowed, and with a flash her face was clean of any access cum
>"There," she said with a small smile. "You appear sufficiently clean
"Yeah," you said panting. "I is cleaned sufficiently--I mean I'm all clean..."
>Luna smiled at that
>"Indeed. Now--"
>Taking another step away from you, Luna turned around and presented her rear end
>"I believe that now is the time for the judging to begin."
>...
>Oh...
>Oh right...
>You were doing a flank judging thing...
>Giving your head a little shake to help clear up your thoughts, you scooched up to the edge of your seat as the Princess of the Night wiggled her butt at you
>Just like the other contestants, Luna's flank was big, it was round, it was jiggly and the light blue panties that she was wearing did absolutely nothing to cover her assets
>Though not as big as Cadence or Chrysalis' flanks, Luna's bottom was still mouth-wateringly plump
>She had a little less fat on her than either of the other princesses that you had judged, in fact she looked all around more muscular than any pony else standing here, but there was still more than enough jiggle to let that thing wiggle
>"I can see that you like what you see, human," Luna said, eyeing you appreciatively. "Perhaps you might like it more if you take these wretched undergarments off?"
>...Yes
>That seemed like a good idea

>>27411973
>You SHOULD take her panties off
>For judging purposes of course
>Grabbing Luna's back legs you forced her to take a step back, which she did without a complaint
>You then slipped your hands into the princess's panties
>Luna's eyes widened as your hands traveled across her still covered flank
>"Anonymous--"
"Shush, judging is happening."
>You could hear the panty's fabric protesting as you hiked the panties up so that the fabric was as tight as possible against her flank and, most importantly, against the area that was causing a wet spot on the underwear
>Luna bit her lip as your free hand teased this particular area, your fingers rubbing and stroking her through the fabric
>"Oh ho, ho. Mind yourself, young stallion," Luna said, pressing herself against your hand. "I am not a mare that takes to teasing well."
>The hand that was still rooting around in her panties tugged on the fabric, giving the princess a bit of a wedgie
>This exposed a fair bit of Luna's flank to you, which allowed you to lean forward and give her cutiemark a kiss
>The princess let out a quiet groan, equal parts frustrated and needy, wiggling her bottom
>You responded by squeezing spreading one of her cheeks as you squeezed it, your other hand still gently rubbing and touching
>The wet spot under Luna's tail grew as her marehood clenched at your fingers through the fabric
>Letting out a pleased hum, you began nomming the moon butt, licking and biting and nuzzling to your hearts content
>You were about to lean back so you could bury your face in between the princess's cheeks (you know, for judging and stuff) when you heard the tell-tale sound of magic being cast
>Luna's panties disappeared with a pop, and with her tail flagging high for all to see you were face-to-face with her dripping slit
>"A-Alright, enough teasing human. While enjoyable your princ--ehehEHHHH!"
>Leaning forward you slowly ran your tongue up Luna's marehood

>>27411976
>Leaning forward you slowly ran your tongue up Luna's marehood
>Her juices had a sweet, slightly hay-like taste to her along with something else that you couldn't quite identify
>Which, of course, meant that you had to go back in for another taste
>She had cleaned you off with her tongue; it was only fair that you did the same for her right?
>"A-Aha~"
>Luna wiggled her behind once more, the fur on her flanks tickling her cheeks as you lapped at her folds and the area around it
>Every once in a while your tongue would slip into that beautiful pink underneath her lips, just to make sure that she was extra clean
>Luna tried to move away as you did that but you quickly grabbed her by those child-baring hips of hers and pulled her right back where she belonged
>By now the princess's chest was heaving, her wings extended, but you didn't notice that
>You wanted to do a good job
>Cleaning was harder than it looked after all
>And clean you did
>For about five minutes you sat there on the edge of your chair, lapping at the princess's flower like a happy dog
>But, to your "surprise", it appeared that even with all of your hard work you weren't getting anywhere
>You tried your hardest to clean the princess up, really you did, but no matter how much you licked the princess she'd still have more sweet, sweet cum for you to lick up
>...
>Shucks!
>You guess you'd have to keep going until either she was clean or your tongue gave out!
>You couldn't help but grin as you leaned forward and began to suck on Luna's little love button
>The princess bucked her hips hard as a whinny escaped her lips
>"DAMNATION, COLT!"
>You let out a yelp as an unseen force slammed you back into your chair, your eyes wide and your face covered in Luna's cum
>Not a second later said princess was sitting in your lap with your member trapped between your lower stomach and her marehood, a wild look in her eyes

>>27411985
>"What did I tell you about the TEASING?!" she growled, pressing her forehead against yours as she grinded herself against you
>Her horn glowed, and your hands slapped against either side of her flank so hard that your fingers stung like a MOTHERFUCKER
>Luna closed her eyes and bit her lip as her flank jiggled, a bit of her cum spurting onto your Johnson
>"If you cannot follow simple orders then I believe it is my duty to treat you like the stallion you are~"
>She opened her eyes, the twin deep blue orbs filled with list
>...
> femdom might not be your thing but if this keeps going...
>The princess wrapped her hooves around your neck as she used her magic to force your hands to knead her cheeks
>"Yes~ You look wonderful under me with that expression on your face..."
>Her breath hot and heavy, Luna's lips found yours
>A groan escaped her lips as she tasted herself on your tongue, her bucks bucking
>You tried to move your hands so you could caress her back, but with another spell your hands found themselves back on her flank
>"NO. No," Luna said as she broke the kiss, eyeing you hungrily as she panted. "Your hands will pleasure your princess as she sees fit, and she wishes them to worship the royal flank."
>Your cock twitched as her magic encased it
>Licking her lips, she slowly began to stroke you even as she grinding against you with her slit
>As you let out a groan, bucking your hips as much as she'd let you, Luna looked back at her behind, a devilish grin coming to her face
>"I recall that this was a flank competition was it not?"
>She lifted her flank into the air, giving it a wiggle as she did so
>"Though the traditional method of intercourse would be no doubt pleasurable for the two of us, I believe that it is inappropriate for this."
>Your eyes widened as she pressed the tip of your cock against the road less traveled
>Oh...
>Oh that dirty little filly~
>Luna giggled at your expression, leaning forward to give you another kiss

>>27411995
>"You have proven yourself thus far, Anonymous. Do not disappoint me now."
>You began to squirm frantically as Luna began to slowly lower herself down onto you, moaning as she let out a growl into your mouth
>Though you were well-lubed it was still a tight fit, and Luna had to fight to get every inch of you into her
>Breaking your kiss, Luna let out a whimper/growl, giving her rump another wiggle
>"Dammit stallion... stop being so... adequately sized... this instant..."
>You let out another moan, doing your best to push the princess down onto your length
>Your fingers dug into her flank as her inner muscles rippled, making eorinferibfkbnsldkjbcs!
>"Almost... there..."
>Panting hard, Luna forced the last few inches of you into your tail hole
>Your toes curled as her hip slapped against your legs, making the most wonderful sound in the world
>For a moment the two of you said nothing, both of you just taking a moment to get acquainted with the sensations that you were feeling
>Luna's eyes found yours, and she once again leaned forward until your foreheads were touching
>"Do no bother to hide your moans, stallion," she said, tensing her flank again. "I find the sounds of a stallion lost in pleasure a symphony that cannot be measured."
>The two of you tensed as she began to raise herself, her plot hole sucking at you like a lollipop
>"Sing for me, Anon," she said. "Sing for me~"
>And sing you did
>Moans and groans and gasps escaped your lips as the Princess of the Night began to ride you
>She'd alternate between kissing you and sucking and biting at your neck while she whispered encouragement into your ear, every once in a while letting out moans and groans of her own
>It was getting hard to hold on
>The tightness was unbelievable, as was the heat
>It was also a little hard to get a grip of yourself because of the fact that you had your dick up a PRINCESS'S butt

>>27412008
>It only got harder as Luna picked up speed, her rump slamming against your pelvis as her kisses and bites became more aggressive
>Your hands once again squeezed her flank, your fingers digging into your flank so hard that Luna let out a moan before she pulled you into another kiss
>"I can feel you twitching in my depths, colt," she growled, rubbing her cheek against yours. "You are close. Do no deny it."
>She slammed down into, grinding hard against your lap before she raised herself back up and slammed herself back down
>Then she did it again
>And again
>And again
>You whimpered, your back arching as you felt yourself tensing up
>Luna grinned, roughly biting at your neck
>"You have done well thus far but you will not best your princess, human."
>Your hands raised up without your permission and slammed down on Luna's flank once more
>Both you and Luna moaned as she clenched down on you once more
>"You will spill your seed in my flank, cur."
>She slammed herself down on you again, so hard that the chair underneath you creaked in protest
>"I demand it. I demand it this instant!"
>Closing your eyes and biting your lip you did your best to hold on
>But it was no use
>Luna was in control of the pace and her bites and kisses were too much
>It felt too good
>It felt--
>Your eyes widened as, with a final twitch, you found yourself cumming
>"Yesssssssss."
>Luna half-raised herself up before she took you to the base and stayed there, grinding herself into your lap as you fired spurt after spurt into her flank
>Her flank squeezed hard as, with a scream, Luna had her own orgasm, her marehood spraying you with her oernfgslcinfslfb!
>White filled your vision as you and Luna writhed against each other before you went limp, pressing your face against her chest
>Though Luna's orgasm raged for a little longer eventually she went limp as well
>Breathing hard, she smiled
>"Well... done."

>>27412017
>Taking a few deep breaths, she wrapped her hooves around you, nuzzling the top of your head as she hummed
>Noticing that she had released your hands, you wrapped your arms around her barrel, nuzzling into her chest
>For a while neither of you said anything, just enjoying each other's embrace, sweaty and tired but absolutely satisfied
>"Oh, my apologies," Luna said out of the blue, looking down at your lap. "I seem to have made a mess."
>She gave the top of your head a kiss
>"Give me a few moments and I assure you that I shall have you clean you once more."
>Though you were still breathing hard, you smiled
>This caused the princess to smile back
>"Though I believe that I'd enjoy having my way with you for a while longer I do not think it fair on the remaining contestants."
>You groaned as Luna's anus gave your softening cock a squeeze
>"We shall have to see the extent of your vitality some other day, Anonymous," Luna said, unfurling her wings and wrapping them around you with another happy hum. "Some other, wonderful day..."

>>27412023
Alright, I'm done

>>27412037
yes

>>27412298
Pls i dont want to have to get a trip

Happy friday fuckers.


>Sometimes you just really wish you’d gone to see a doctor when your mother had said to. If you’d done that back on earth, maybe they would have given to some medications. Maybe they would have spotted problems in your current lifestyle and told you to change. Maybe they even would have put one of those cool snake cameras down your throat and seen the problem directly.

>But nah, you said. You were fine, you said. No problem, no doctor needed, only pussies go see doctors about a little stomach ache, you said. And now, here you are, in a land with no human doctors at all, lying on your side, with a serious case of giant hole in your stomach. You’ve never seen a ulcer. But for fuck’s sake, you know it when you feel it.

>Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

>You lie on your side in Applejack’s barn, waiting for the sweet release of death, or at least the chance to burp and relieve some of this pressure. Really, this is entirely your fault. You overstress about fitting in with these tiny candy-colored ponies, and your eating habits are atrocious. But come on, who can say no to a triple spicy rainbow burrito, courtesy of Rainbow Dash? It fries off your tastebuds in 7 different colors!

>The constant drinking doesn’t help either, but when again, you are staying with a family that makes some bomb-ass cider, so maybe it’s worth it. A sudden roll of nausea winged with acrid pain makes you curl even tighter into a fetal position.

>Nope. Nope. Not worth it.

>You let out a quiet groan, unable to quiet yourself in time to keep Applejack from hearing. She stands in the doorway of the barn, looking deeply concerned.

“You doing alright, sugarcube?” she says gently.

>You go to say yes, but a sudden lurch of pain makes it come out as a moan of pain. Besides, you're pretty sure it'd obvious that you're not alright, what kind of question is that?

(1/?)

>>27412973

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I thought,” she says with a sigh. “Granny Smith made this weird milk stuff for ya if you wanna try. She says it’s good for indigestion and whatnot.”

>You take the glass from her and sit up just enough to have a sip of it. It tastes sharp, and a little fruity, but mostly it’s gritty and bland. You eye the glass, then Applejack.

“It…tastes weird. And I’m not sure it’s helping,” you say. “What is it?”

>Applejack smiles proudly at you.

“Why it’s a heapin’ glass of flour, chalk dust, mixed with goat’s milk and lemon juice.”

>You stare at her.

“…That’s disgusting.”

>Her smile never wavers.

“Well, is it helpin’ yet?”

>And as if on cue, that lemon hits the exposed hole in your gut. You make a noise like a cow giving birth to the statue of liberty, and roll promptly back on your side. Applejack frowns down at you, and through tear-filled eyes you gave pleadingly back.

“For the love of god,” you groan. “Please tell me Twilight is around and has some sort of spell.”

>Applejack shakes her head.

“Nope, she’s off in Canterlot doin’ something princess or what have you. She…doesn’t seem to be much of a princess of anything, but what do I know, I’m just a simple farm pony and-“

>“What about your hospitals?” you try again before she can begin another long-winded rambling.

>Unfortunately, she again shakes her head.

“Last time you went that doc wanted to cut you open, because he has no idea what makes you tick inside. That’s when we found out that magic anesthesia doesn’t work too good on humans. Remember?”

>How could you forget? You can still recall coming to on the table, looking down at the open mouth of your chest cavity, and having just enough time to hear the doctor mutter “Now if we just break the ribs here and here…” before you began to scream.

>Yeah, no more hospitals. Even if that pink-haired nurse was kind of a cutie.

(2/?)

>>27412986

“Is there…anything. ANYTHING else you can do?” you whimper.

>She thinks for a moment.

“Well I could sing you a song about friendship and see if-“

“Is there anyone else you know who could help me,” you try to say more clearly.

>No more singing. Please. You’ve already learned about friendship you stupid apple horse. It’s magic. Ok. You get it. It’s time to stop. Applejack considers for a moment longer, then kind of winces, like she’s had an uncomfortable thought. You fixate not he reaction instantly. What does this mean? Has she thought of someone to help you? Why isn’t she saying anything?

“Applejack,” you wheeze. “If there’s anyone at all and you don’t tell me I’ll…I’ll…never eat apples again.”

>She gasps and looks at you as if you are eating the intestines of her first born in front of her.

“Fine, fine,” she says, glaring at you a little. “Just don’t go sayin’ things like that no more, ya hear?”

>You nod your consent. She glances around nervously as if someone might be listening in before she continues.

“See, there’s this lady in the woods, a zebra, and she does some sorta weird voodoo nonsense with spells and potions. Like what Twilight does, but without making any sense. And she rhymes whenever she talks and such, and Applebloom’s over there a terrible lot. I think she might be tryin’ to convert her away from the great and holy church of the sun goddess, and it makes me plumb nervous to think about that striped, non-pony thing going on about whatever pagan nonsense god she looks up to.”

>Applejack’s apparent racism aside, this sounds promising. You perk up considerably at her words.

“Take me to her,” you demand.

>She still looks hesitant.

“Look sugarcube, I don’t think-“

“Take. Me. To. Her.”

“But she might put some sorta hex on ya or lead you astray from the path of righteousness.”

“TAKE. ME. TO. HER.”

(3/?)

>>27413001

>Applejack at last sighs and droops her head a little.

“Well alright, if you can’t be talked out of it. It’s in the forest aways, do you think you can manage?”

>You try to get up, fail miserably, and collapse back down onto your cot.

“I do not,” you say weakly.

>She sighs again.

“I’ll make some sorta sled,” she mutters. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

——

>You bump along down the overgrown forest path, Applejack pulling you as you go. Normally you’d feel like such a boss right now, just lying back while a pony drags you everywhere, but the pulsing pain in your midsection prevents you from doing that.

>You glance up over her more that ample flanks (hm, something to put in the mental banks for later use) and spot a strange looking tree looming ahead. It has strange shaped windows, a tribal looking decor from the outside, and the quiet sound of what could be maracas and african drums plays distantly and impossibly as you approach.

>Applejack slows, then stops in from of the door. She unshoulders the sled and gives a nod of her head towards the tree.

“Well, there ya are. Want me come inside with ya?”

>You start to say no, but then remember that you don’t know this new zebra, and if she’s anything like the rest of the ponies, she probably operates on kind words and encouragement. You have neither of those to offer, and even if Applejack seems to dislike her, she probably would be a better bet for communicating.

“Please,” you mutter as you strain yourself to get up.

>You teeter for a moment, then find some balance, and limp like a zombie with acid reflux over to the door. You knock and wait as you hear the sound of gentle footfalls approaching the door. The large wooden door creaks softly open, and before you stands one of the oddest looking pony-folk you’ve ever seen.

(4/?)

>>27413010

>She’s striped from head to hoof, obviously a zebra, but she’s decked out like one of those african chicks that stretches their neck for some warped standard of beauty. She’s got a mohawk, giant hoop earrings, gold rings around her neck, and her cutie mark looks like the kind of tribal tattoo that brodudes get on their nipples. You’d laugh at how ridiculous she looks, if you weren’t sure it would cause you unbridled pain.

>She looks over you in confusion, the spots Applejack and breaks into a warm smile.

“Ah Applejack, good to see you. And what do I owe this pleasure to?”

>Oh god, she does rhyme. You can’t suppress a snicker, but it instantly crumples your side. Fuck being happy hurts, but what else it new.

“Er, hi Zecora,” Applejack says uneasily.

>The Zebra looks at you as you fidget in discomfort.

“It seems you’ve brought a friend in toe. Tell me, why does he writhe about like so?”

“Oh, uh,” Applejack mumbles. Man does this Zebra make her uneasy. “This is Anon. He’s got a little health problem, somethin’ with his stomach, but the doctors here dunno what to do. They’ve got no clue how to even treat his species.”

>Zecora nods appreciatively.

“Hm, the effects of this I can plainly see,” she steps aside for you to enter. “Perhaps you should come inside my tree.”

>You enter, and Applejack follows behind you.

“Hey, by the by, thanks for bein’ such good friend to my little sister,” Applejack says. “She talks about ya all the time.”

“Oh, little Applebloom is just so kind, and in possession of a truly open mind.”

“Yeah, you just stay away from that open mind,” Applejack mutters as she follow in behind you.

>The room is full of African looking masks, strange bottles of powders and plants, and other interesting pieces of art. It’s actually kind of cool, and you’d appreciate it more if you weren’t trying to find a corner to curl up in and die.

(5/?)

>>27413025

>You decide any old floor will have to do, and instantly collapse onto the hardwood with a muffled groan. Zecora and Applejack both look down at you, the orange pony shaking her head.

“Yeah, he’s been like that for a while. Says he’s got a hole in part of his stomach. Weird huh?”

>Right. Because everything is so happy and healthy here, no one gets ulcers. Hooray for all of them. Zecora rubs her chin with one hoof and makes a low humming noise. Then, she leans down to your level and tires to give you a comforting smile.

“Not to worry friend of Applejack, we’ll soon have your tummy back on track. So please go lie on that bed of straw, and then could you open your mouth and say “Ahh?’”

>You do as the obvious witchdoctor commands. you can’t help feeling deeply awkward as she gazes into your mouth, her nose almost inside it. After what feels like an eternity, she withdraws and you shut your mouth.

“So…uh…how do things…look?” you say.

>She thinks a moment, then gives a satisfied nod.

“It’s just as you say, your illness is plain. A hole in your stomach is indeed causing this pain. The smell of your breath says your body is sick,” she says. “But I think I know what will do just the trick.”

>Zecora goes to a shelf and pulls down some bottles. Then she takes them to the center of the room, where a large black cauldron waits patiently. With a deft and practiced hoof, she dumps all of them, one at a time, in turn into he cauldron. Puffs of orange, green, blue, and even one shaped like a butterfly rise out of the huge pot with each motion. A faint scent of lavender beings to fill the room. Somehow all of this is soothing. Well, for you. Applejack is just watching her with what might be disgust. So much for love and tolerance, you guess.

“I can help you, and fix everything neatly,” she says. “But you must promise that you will trust me completely.”

(6/?)

>>27413043

>You readily agree. If she can help you, you’ll be ready to trust anything she says. Some small part of your brain warns you that absolute trust is probably a bad plan, but the ache in your midsection overpowers it.

>At last, she dips a long handled wooden ladle into the mixture, then pours a grayish-purple looking substance into a goblet on the floor. The liquid shimmers and sparkles a little, like it might be made with edible glitter. She approaches you with it and holds out the bottle with a friendly smile.

“Fixing your stomach will take some prep, and drinking this potion is your first step,” she says. “Just drink it all down and worry not, just be careful, that first sip might be hot.”

>You hold the bottle to your lips, hesitate, then hold it back away. Memory of lemon, chalk, goat’s milk, and flower flood your memory.

“What’s in it?” you say suspiciously.

>Applejack gives you an approving, smug smile. Zecora just shrugs.

“Several ingredients from near and far, even if I told you, you wouldn't know what they are.”

>While that does make you uneasy, this voodoo stuff probably takes some pretty weird powders. You likely wouldn’t even know what they were, like she says, and you did say you were going to trust her.

“Ok, then what exactly will it do?” you ask, adjusting your question just a little.

>She smiles ever warmly at you as she speaks.

“If we wish to get your stomach to its normal state, then we need to work with a completely clean slate. In order to do this there is no doubt, we must get all that’s in your stomach out.”

>You blink at her, not quite understanding what she means. Then it occurs to you.

“Wait, it’s going to make me throw up??”

>She nods. Ok, total trust gone.

“It will take every drop of liquid inside you, and expel it until you’re empty, through and through.”

>Well that sounds like the worst thing of all time.

“Er…I don’t want to throw up.”

(7/?)

>>27413055

>To be honest, it’s one of your least favorite things to do. You haven’t done it since you were a very young kid, and this sounds terrible. Besides, you know the strain that vomiting puts on your stomach. You’re not sure your ulcer could take that kind of strain. Not to mention, having no moisture in your body? Pretty sure that would actually kill you.

“Look,” you say, before she can respond with yet another rhyme, “Maybe it’s different for horses, but humans really don’t like throwing up. It’s kind of rough on our bodies.”

“We do not really do that naturally,” Zecora says with a shrug. “But I know it’s the first step to making you ulcer-free.”

“I…think I’d like to find another way.”

“Look sugarcube,” Applejack says with a sigh. “It might seem like mumbo jumbo, but it’ll probably help you feel better. You should probably just stallion-up and do it.”

“No thanks.”

>You try to offer the bottle back to Zecora, but she just stares at you. Rather coldly, you think.

“You promised you would trust in me,” she says flatly. “So why all this reluctancy?”

“Because,” you say, a little more firmly this time. “I do not want to vomit. I’ll find another way, here just-“

“That potion was very difficult to make,” she says, her voice sounding a little dark suddenly. “Perhaps you should drink it, for your own sake.”

>Wait, is that a threat? You get the sense things are not going your way an that maybe you've made a horrible mistake. Applejack joins her at her side, frowning at you.

“Look, you said you wanted our help, so just drink the potion,” she says.

>What the shit is this? Why are they teaming up against you like this? it makes no sense? You try to stand up to back away, but you’re still in so much pain that you collapse back onto the straw bed with a grunt.

“I’m saying no. I’ll figure something out, but-“

>Zecora continues to glare.

(8/?)

>>27413067

“Applejack,” Zecora says ominously. “If you would not mind, could you hold his arms behind?”

“Got it.”

>Before you can do anything to protest or stop her, Applejack springs behind you and grips both of your arms in a quasi-death lock with her hooves. No idea how she has such a good grip on you without fingers, but she certainly does. You look up, suddenly panicking, to see that Zecora has the bottle and is walking towards you with it in her teeth.

“Anon, if you don’t struggle it will be quicker. We will keep you from getting sicker.”

“NO! GET AWAY!” you scream at her, feeling your stomach lurch in anticipation.

“Anon, by our glorious sun goddess, just do it. It's for your own good”

“NO! I said NO! No means no you weird psycho ponies! Don't you understand informed consent??”

“Anon,”

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”

“Oh just drink it you cunt!” Zecora growls.

“THAT DIDN’T EVEN RHYME!”

>As she grows closer, you quickly shut your mouth tight to avoid drinking the potion. Without any hesitation, Zecora swiftly hits you in your midsection with one hoof.

>Your mouth opens in an involuntary gasp of surprise and pain. She punched you! The two-tone bitch actually punched you!

>Before you can think you shit your mouth again, the zebra shoves the neck of the bottle all the way into your mouth and hold it up. You feel an unwilling sensation of thick liquid making its way down your throat, then sitting heavily as it reaches your belly. Both of the other two ponies leap away from you, and you fall to your knees, shaking and coughing.

“Y-you…” you choke out. “What have you done…to me. What have…”

>Then it begins.

(9/?)

>>27413082

>A strange rumbling rises in your belly, like a surging wave. You feel like the bottoms of your feet are getting tingly, and in your very veins you can feel an odd sucking sensation. You curl over, holding your now seemingly painful body with both arms. You let out a screeching moan of agony.

>You can’t stop it. It’s going to happen.

>Your mouth opens and you wretch once.

>Twice.

>Then, in a surging rush, everything comes out. Like a great flood or tsunami, a gurgling mass of semi-liquid springs past your lips to coat Zecora’s floor through your watering eyes you can see a rainbow of colors, the white drink from Granny Smith, even some level of sparkling from Zecora. Great. Perfect. You’re vomiting sparkles now. Welcome to pony world. It goes on and on.

>You didn’t know a person could even vomit like that and live! Can they? Are…are you going to die?

>Oh god, you’re going to die from vomiting.

>You feel yourself drying up all over like a raisin as all liquid in your body begins to expel. You feel like you’re even throwing up your own blood cells. That feces are rising up out of your intestines to pour out of your mouth. You tremble all over, willing it to stop, but it just won’t. It never ends. It will never end.

>You start to feel dizzy. This forced flash-dehydration is getting to you harder than you could have imagined. You realize, way too late, that you’re going to faint. You’re actually going to faint while vomiting.

>Your vision clouds, but not enough to obscure the mass of churning vomit on the floor that is quickly rising to meet you as you fall forward. As you lose consciousness, you feel a squish of moisture against your cheek and feel a spatter of the stuff up into your hair. Then your eyes close, and you’re out.

——

(10/?)

>>27413099

>When you at last come to, you’re lying in a clean dry bed, looking up at Decor’s ceiling. And you are thankfully no longer vomiting.

>In fact, there’s no smell or sign of vomit anywhere. And you feel…much better. You sit up slowly and find that your head is clear, and all the pain in your stomach is completely gone! You touch your bells and take a few deep breaths, but sure enough, you are pain-free and well hydrated. It’s as if nothing ever happened.

“Ah, you’re awake, Darlin!” you hear Applejack say from by your shoulder.

>You turn to find both her and Zecora standing there, beaming at you. The area around t hem looks clean too somehow, and you wonder how long you’ve been out. There was…a lot of vomit.

“Er…hey…” you say haltingly. “am I…?”

“If you’re going to ask are you ok, then don’t worry, your ulcer has gone away,” Zecora says proudly.

“Wow,” you say, unable to hide your amazement. “That’s…actually really impressive.”

>You honestly really still want to be mad about them making you vomit, but right now you’re just so happy to not be in pain that you can’t help being greatful. Zecora shrugs humbly, as if this was all in a day’s work

“So how did you…?”

>Applejack suddenly looks to Zecora with an expression of nervousness and dread. You'd swear you see her go a little pale.

“Uh, I don’t think you want to know.”

“Wait,” you say, sensing that you’ve stumbled onto something major. “What happened while I was out? What…”

>Zecora is looking at you uneasily. Oh god, something weird happened when you were unconscious. This cure they gave you...what was the second step of your treatment?

“What did you do to me to heal me exactly,” you say to her pointedly.

>She smiles weakly before she speaks.

(11/12)

>>27413113

“Well I tried several remedies to no avail. Every potion I made would simply fail. So after much testing and progress impeded, I finally discovered what it was you needed. You see, Zebras have healing magic within their bodies, and substances containing helpful antibodies. The easiest way to give you all this, was…well…to open your mouth and then take a…”

>Oh god, you know what that last word is.

>You suddenly feel like you’re going to throw up again.

“YOU PEED IN MY MOUTH?”

>Both ponies wince a little.

“Now look sugarcube it was the best way to heal you," Applejack says. "Zecora did it real quick like, and honestly she seemed to even enjoy it a little so-"

>Zecora quickly shushes her before she can finish that thought. You look between the ponies, from one to the other, in complete and utter horror.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

“Anon, I’m sorry, there was no other way. Urine was the stuff that was going to save the day.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

>Zecora sighs exasperatedly and rolls her eyes. Applejack pats you with one hoof, trying to soothe you a little, but the Zebra just fixes you with an odd, almost amused look. You stare directly into her face as she says the next words.

“Anon, you were the one who resisted, this is all overblown. If you find my cure hard to stomach, the fault is all your own.”

>You look at her in bewilderment for a moment, then drop your head into your hands and promptly begin to weep.

>You’ll never eat Rainbow Dash’s spicy burritos ever again.

-End-

(12/12)

http://pastebin.com/M82V2spK

I hope you faggots have a glorious weekend.

>>27413127
But why are Anon's reactions so over-the-top

>>27413340
>Has never been raped while sleeping
You're in for a big surprise.

>>27413416
Even when she was just suggesting that he drink a thing to make him puke, it seemed more than a bit extreme
I mean, he does have a stomach ulcer, that does seem like a fairly reasonable thing to do

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>>27412037

>>27413416
I'll bet.

Crosspostan
>Anon has a bunch of old coins lying around because he dumps his change into a jar when he gets home but loses the jar every few months
>Along with his piles of assorted junk, he has enough wealth in rare-for-equestria materials that he could outright buy canterlot and the mountain it sits on
>He doesn't actually know just how valuable his junk is
>Mostly he's keeping it because it's what he's got from earth
>The only ponies he's really let get at much of anything are the research ponies working on replicating his tech
>Twilight knows about his wealth
>She's decided he's evil because of what those other guys earlier on mentioned with laughing and that shit
>"What would somepony rich and evil do?"
>"They'd hire ponies to do their dirty work for them, of course!"
>Twilight is constantly trying to find links back to Anon from every evil plot that she finds
>Changelings invade the state fair and steal all the ribbons?
>"IT'S A HUMAN CONSPIRACY!"
>Discord loses his favorite violin and rampages in anguish trying to find it?
>While Fluttershy is off in Canterlot, where she can't intervene?
>"OBVIOUSLY ANON'S WORK!"
>Meanwhile Anon just wants those research ponies to hurry up and fix his coffee machine

>>27412023
My dick is now diamonds, well done.

>>27416045
You should get that checked out

>>27416544
By Rarar... maybe in a nurses outfit.

>>27416936
Rarar? Why not Derpy, wearing a truckers hat.

>Be Anon the big dumb animal
>Working at a restaurant in Canterlot
>Gotta make a living somehow
>It's a pretty fancy restaurant, but they have some pretty rough and large earth ponies running the food trays
>That's your job
>And you and the other two runners are belligerent as hell
>When you job a tray, no matter what they ask for, you just walk away
>You're not a waiter so who cares
>And you smoke pot out back on breaks, so that was fun
>The pony who hired you and who trained the food runners is this shorter pony with a massive Napoleon complex
>And he fucking HATED you
>One night, you guys start piling a huge tray like a foot high with food
>It gets to the point that none of you can lift it
>Eventually the supervisor walks in and says "Hey! Who's got that tray?"
>And while you had a little bit to smoke on your last break, your two coworkers were high as giraffe pussy
>Finally you just shrug
"Alright, I got it. I'll dislocate my shoulder for the team"
>The supervisor's temper flared
>"Fuck that, Anon! I got this one!"
>He turned his baseball cap around and placed himself beneath the stand the tray was on
>All the food runners looked at each other in shock
>You know one of them wanted to step forward and be like "No! You're little!"
>Of course that wouldn't fly over so well
>Supervisor goes to lift to tray and an expression of raw panic comes over his face
>None of you could lift it, so how the hell would he be able to?
>He would never admit that he fucked up

>>27417569
>Well as it happens, magic is kind of a thing in this world
>But nothing like this
>With the power of his shattered ego, you watched this little guy lift with all his might and get that tray off the stand
>His entire body was bucking and legs looked like they were about to give out, but he held it up
>The rest of you were speechless, but the little guy looked at each of you individually and shouted "Fuuuuuck. Yooooooou!" victoriously
>Then he made his way into the dining room with the three of you following close behind
"Holy shit! Someone start a religion! That was fucking miracle!"
>But every asshole is repaid with karma
>As he was struggling to get the oversized tray through the door, his foot caught the edge of a trolley and he tripped and fell to the floor
>Plates and food went flying around a crowded Friday night dining room
>One plate flew and hit a patron in the eye
>Hot soup fell over another
>A salad went and stuffed itself into someone else's mouth, which they didn't seem to mind
>Horrible screams everywhere
>And with all the carnage the he had unleashed, did the supervisor ever decide to apologize or pay for their meals?
>No
>He just stood up and went "Fuck!" and went back into the kitchen
>And that's how you got promoted to supervisor

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>>27417057

She only wears edible hats

>>27417740
If you believe your hat to be inedible, clearly you are just not trying hard enough.

>>27417740
Derpy is truly the most fashionable of ponies.

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>>27417912

>>27412037
Everyone loves buttfucking.

>>27418921
no u

>>27413493
>You decline treatment, politely, several times
>They hold your arms behind your back, punch you in the gut, and force you to drink it
>More than a bit extreme

Yeah ok.

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>>27394299
>tfw it was actually 4 years ago in Feb 2012 when AiE started

Before you ask me to go, I haven't been on AiE since mid-2013. Please recommend me some of the best stories since then. After that, I'll go and read.

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>>27418642

>>27420263
It's been that long? I only started reading around thread 50. Didn't post my first green until 250.

You guys have been a very important part of my life for a while now.

I wouldn't change a thing.

>>27420263
Botto pls

>>27405850
>You've been left in a fancy room with fancy furniture.
>The Guard told you dinner was in 6 hours, so you've got time to reflect on the days events.
>Funky zebras, alien ponies, cute babby aliens and a certain blue princess who wants the V.
>Or at the very least wants to caress your jubblies.
>And you're seriously considering having fish tacos with the princess.
>You've even weighed up the pros and cons.
>Downside, she looks like a horse. Beastiality and all that.
>Upside, she's an alien not a horse, she's a princess and it's what kirk would do.
>So three to one in favor of hot alien, lesbian loving.
>There's other things to think about too, things that aren't sex.
>Some minor stuff like fucking with the guards and their super serious faces.
>But some shit that's a bit more serious, they thought your breasts were venom sacs.
>What other misconceptions could they have about your biology.
>Need to deal with that shit soon or there could be some serious misunderstandings down the line.
>There's also the clothing thing, yeah the guards wore armor and you saw a few pony aliens wearing hats on the way to the castle.
>You could be insulting the shit out of everyone by wearing clothes.
>You're in an alien culture now sister. Wearing clothes, shaking hands, flipping the bird, farting. All that could mean anything here.
>Now that you think about it, you're really out of your depth.

>>27424332

>You are Golden Helm, Solar Guard.
>And you've been sent to bring the creature to dinner.
>The princesses insisted it's perfectly harmless and you've no reason to doubt them.
>But still... you've heard the rumors in the barracks.
>It's supposedly bigger than a minotaur and venomous, with three heads and the strength of a hydra.
>You can believe it, it was found in the Everfree and nothing but danger comes out of that forest.
>It doesn't matter. Your princesses command and you act.
>Pushing open the door, you trot into the room.
>Only to find it empty.
>Oh sweet sun and moon, you are going to be in so much troub-
>The bathroom door swings open, oh thank the stars you're saved, the creature was... just...
>Oh my....
>"I'm not that strange looking am I?"
>You tear your eyes away from the creatures mare parts to look at its face.
>"Dinner is nearly prepared, if you'll follow me."
>Nailed it, there's a reason you were known as the most stoic guard in your unit.
>Leading the creature to the dining hall you can't help glancing at her marehood.
>It's hard not to, it's right at eye level.
>In fact if you bumped into her in a hallway you'd bet your horn would just slide right into those moist folds.
>You're stallionhood twitches, oh no. Can't get aroused on duty.
>Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Er... Granny Smith naked on a cold day, Granny smith naked on a cold day.

http://pastebin.com/gig14V1d

>>27422465
Cool.

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>>27422002

>All these Derps pics,
I need to finish that thing with her one of these days

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>>27420263

>>27420263
I'll post links later

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>>27419301

Last minute update before I call it a night.

Previous chapter; http://pastebin.com/uQd7EjuH

Story inbound.

>You are Applejack and you get to start off this chapter, fun right?
"Ah thought breakin' the fourth wall was Pinkie's thang."
>Oh yeah, that's a good point.
"Are we even friends yet in this story?"
>Whoops, sorry.
"Nice shootin' Tex."
>Moving on then.
>"You say something AJ?" Anonymous asks as he brings over another empty bushel from the cart and sets it up under the tree.
>He's been an awful big help the last couple months since you first became friends.
>He can't buck a tree to save his life, but the boy's endurance is almost unending when it comes to hauling carts of apples and gear.
"Nah, just thinkin' out loud sugar."
>"Ha ha, you thinking. Good one boss."
>That Anon's a cheeky 'lil varmint, but he's one of the few folks you'd try to avoid getting into another rumble with.
>Luckily he can take it as good as he gives it out.
"How else am Ah s'posed ta get intelligent conversation when it's just the two of us out here?"

>>27429151
>"Ahh, you wound me." He leans against the tree dramatically with a hand over his heart.
"Y'all really are Rarity's brother ain't ya?"
>"As close as you can get without being blood."
>Real close you've noticed.
"Don't it feel weird being in the same class as her though?"
>"Not really? Then again, I've been to school before this. Besides, it's where the tests put me so I'm just rollin' with it. You're an odd one out too for failing and having to repeat a grade."
"Ah didn't fail alright? I missed out on all those days because of what happened with mah folks. Ah coulda passed those classes had Ah actually gone."
>"Applejack: The A-plus farmer and C-minus student."
"Ah just got some catchin' up ta do is all."
>"But this is stuff you DID attend classes for last year."
"Okay so Ah just need a refresher."
>"The highlight of your bookshelf is "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", not exactly literary gold."
"What are y'all gettin' at here?"
>You buck the tree angrily and give Anon a hard look as he picks up the full basket.
>"Just let me help you study. Think of it as payback for all the history lessons I get from Granny Smith."

>>27429182
"It's easy for her considering she's been alive for most of it."
>That gets Anon laughing and hopefully distracts him from the subject.
>"Okay, but seriously." Of course the boy has a one track mind. "You can be stubborn for the damnedest things. Me and Rarity do a bunch of studying together, why not join us?"
"Thanks sugar, but Ah don't really see me an her gettin' along that well."
>"I'm sure she would be willing to bury the hatchet if you just apologized about hitting her."
>He loads the basket onto the cart before leaning against it.
"Ah was gonna, but even when she was applying that make up to mah bruises before we went to the principal's office, she didn't seem willin' ta hear me out."
>"She still helped you out though right?"
"Only 'cause ya asked her to."
>"Okay maybe that's true too, but it was convincing enough to back up my story right?"
>The way Anon weaved that web of lies he told the principal made you wonder if his tongue was forked and made of silver.
>And all you had to do was agree with him on any part that was true since you've got what he calls a bad poker face.
>Which would explain why you've never won a game of old maid at family reunions in your life.
"Alright, alright. Ya got me. But ah'd feel nervous goin' over ta y'all's place. So if you can get her ta come here, then Ah'll be glad to study with ya."
>"Say no more boss. As much as Rarity loves being in charge, she won't say no to me."

>>27429191
"No."
>"Aww, c'mon sis."
"No means no Anonymous."
>"Except when I'm trying to go to bed early right?"
>Your cheeks burst into a shade of crimson and you worriedly look around to see if anypony heard his remark before clearing your throat to collect yourself.
"*ahem* That is a different matter altogether. Shall I list the reasons why I won't go?"
>"Enlighten me."
"First, the dirt. It's a farm and therefore there will be dirt ab-so-lutely EVERYWHERE. I shudder at the thought."
>"Except we'll be indoors where cleaning house is a weekly chore they all take part in."
"And then there's the fact that she's barely keeping her head above the water in terms of grades, which feels like she may actually drag US down while we try to pick her grades up."
>"A rather blunt point, but I can't totally disagree with you there sis."
"Plus, I'm not exactly her biggest fan, even if the two of you get along so well."
>"Yeah, but we're a lot alike. If you can get along with me, then it should be no problem for you to do the same with her."
"She doesn't exactly have the best reputation at school, and the first impression she left with me isn't nearly as rose colored as yours."
>"Okay, but as I've said. A lot of the things at school are just baseless rumors and why worry about your reputation with the kind of people who spread them when you just need a few good friends? None of the guys in class wanna hang out with me because to them I'm just a kid, but AJ knows better and we get along great. Even your friends think I'm weird, but I don't let it stop me from talking with you when they're not."