What would be the autistic consequences of multiple anons in Equestria?
>>27382176
I actually started and never finished a story on just that topic. Was kinda funny.
>rape
>>27382176
Probably not everyone would have the waifu they want. And that's it
>>27382176
I think they'd stick together at first—those who could stand to, anyway—or meet up after a week and confide in each other what new ways they fucked up in pony society.
>>27382176
There would be wars for a single waifu that would lead Equestria into uncountable eons of darkness and war.
>>27382176
An ongoing general consisting of one writefag and about 35 sweaty Anons who go
>bump
>moar
>writefag is kill
every 30 minutes
>>27382273
Therefeore, the invention of a kind of AIDS equine.
>>27382299
This,
assuming they dont share a waifu.. If they did.. ohh You better hope they dont..
>>27382176
Different guilds centered around best horses, but all founded under one simple thing:
>Marepussy
>>27382176
>Daliy gatherings at twilight castle to tell eachother how Flutters tried to rape them today
>They hug eachother for extra safety
>Theres a daily fight on sugarcube corner about whos best waifu
>>27382176
>three anons gang rape a pony
>one takes the vagina, one takes the anus, the other takes the mouth
>they keep arguing over which Anon is being cucked more and how slutty/pure the "waifu" they're raping is
After realising no pony's going to want to fuck an Anon a kind of love so pure that we won't be able to understand it until we experience will be born.
Those pone are fucked, If you know what I mean.
>>27382176
According to the original thread anons (who were all faceless green guys in suits in Equestria because magic) would all be assigned times during the day to be with their waifus while the rest hid in sheds, closets, whatever, constantly keeping up the ruse that there is only one anon when really there's hundreds
>>27382176
>One anon for every waifu
>They have a secret clubhouse in the everfree forest
>They sometimes ask zecora for potions to spy on the ponies and repay her with sexual favors
>They all fight every day in an arena who the best waifu is
>All fights end with every anon crying like a bitch
>They play pranks on ponies by pretending to be one of the other anons
>Some anons switch waifu's for a day and none of the ponies ever notice
>>27382458
This is some good green materiel, I like this
>You are Bon Bon
"Hey Lyra, have you ever noticed that things are kinda... different around here?"
>The green unicorn sitting next to you turns her head towards you
>"Hmm? How do you mean?" she asks
>You crease your forehead
>She couldn't really be this dense could she?
"Well... it's the Anons I mean" you say carefully
>Your friend frowns
>"What's wrong with 'em? I kinda like them..." she says, cheeks blushing slightly
>You huff
>Of of course she would like those creeps
>A sizable amount of them had devoted themselves to her. Called her their 'weye-foo', whatever that was
"I mean they do weird things" you insist "Why just yesterday I saw a crowd of ponies chasing one of them with a bunch of 6's he'd stolen off of ponies' mailboxes"
>"W-Well maybe it's a cultural thing" Lyra shoots back
"Culture? He just kept screaming things like 'Check 'em' and 'Get' as the crowd mobbed him!"
>You throws your hooves up into the air and scream to the sky in frustration
"What kind of culture is that?"
>Lyra doesn't reply
"Lyra?" you ask, turning to your friend
>Lyra is frozen in fear, one of the Anon's, eyes wide like an animal, slowly slinking towards her
>>27382176
One of them starts talking about how many ponies he's fucked while the others sit down and jerk off to his story. He eventually disappears and then the rest of the anons go looking for another one to tell them stories.
>>27382458
I'm being reminded of this scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLB4dU3Yc6M
>>27382529
>Anon starts a story
>"Um, yeah I don't really know where to go with this."
>crowd of Anons start chanting "more!"
>"Jesus, fine, I'll come back here tomorrow."
>Anon takes the first train out of Ponyville
>Most Anons die within a few weeks of arriving due to advanced autism
>The less autistic among them coexist with the ponies for a while before being exiled
>The exiled Anons scratch out a living in the Everfree Forest
>Conduct a guerilla war with Equestria
>Occasionally leave the forest and conduct raids on nearby towns; snatching various ponies from their homes
>Disgruntled townsfolk go into forest to recover their friends and family
>Harried for days from Anons, pissbottle traps and the Everfree wildlife
>Eventually find where the missing ponies are
>The ponies are actually treated very well and don't want to leave
>Ponies actually love being these Anons' waifus
>>27382554
>Dozens of other anons stand in the same spot for two weeks straight
>When ponies ask them why they answer with "we're waiting for writefag to return"
>Ponies misinterpret the whole situation, the fabled writefag becoming a Jesus like character
>>27382176
>multiple anons
Only one would be called Anon the others would have different "anonymous" names
Incognito
Nameless
Pseudonymous
Alter ego
Innominate
Mask
Faceless
Mr. X
John Doe
Masquerade
Cloak
Conceal
Nobody
>>27382479
CHECK EM
H
E
C
K
E
M
>>27382832
You forgotAlan
>>27382832
>no OP
0/10
>>27382176
>arrive in Equestria
>get sent to city hall
>ponies process you and assign you a number
>get isolated into a giant house/neighborhood with other Anons
>constantly fight over who's turn it is to use the fleshlight
>>27382846
>>27382176
If two Anons exist in line of sight distance, those Anons, and any waifus they are attached to, must, if able, move to get into close combat with each other. Neither will retreat until one of Anons (who is obviously an impostor) is killed.
>>27382902
Celestia damned greenbacks! they're ruining this country!
>>27382176
Something like this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv6RbEOlqRo
>>27382176
>Arrive in equestria
>See other anon
>Ask him who his waifu is
>If it's anyone but twilight allow him to go about his buisness
>If it's twilight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0
Anons decide to settle once and for all who the best waifu really is
>>27382309
Moar
>>27382846
Of course no op didn't you know op is a faggot
>>27382176
>that image
That was a good thread.
The first thing would be to launch a manhunt for the most degenerate kinds of Anons so that they don't interfere and fuck everything up
I figure they all wake up one after the other in a field at the outskirts of town, because that's how most of the origins for anons making their entrance is.
But, it gets to the point where anon # 17 wakes up in the parking lot of a really shitty apartment building on the outskirts of town. Like this one, but bigger.
>>27382832
And the ones who don't want any of that shit and just call themselves by their real names.
>>27382832
I don't can who calls himself anon and doesn't like me also calling myself anon, I am anon and anon is all I will ever be!
>>27384270
Is there an angry manlet pone living there?
>>27384302
*Danlet
>>27384298
That's right, anon!
>>27384272
It goes three ways:
People who go by a real name.
People who all call themselves Anon just to confuse everyone.
People who use synonyms for Anon to be unique and still fit in, but end up ostracized by the other two.
>Hey Jim, what's up?
>"Not much Anon, how 'bout you?"
>Eh, same old same old.
*Huff Huff*
>"Oh jeez, here comes "Nowhere Man.""
>Just act like he isn't there.
Hey guys, h-how's your days been?
>"..."
>...
I just got back from helping DJ Pon-3 with setting up her turntables for her show tonight, and I figured I'd invite you guys.
>"Ah, well, I gotta help Big Mac with this old stump..."
>Rarara wanted me to pick up some fabric from the Train Station...
That's fine, I guess. Uh, here's the invites anyway. Hope to see you there!
*Teleports Away*
>"I hate dubstep."
>I hate that fucking faggot calling her by her stage name all the time.
>"Hey, don't say that. You'll give faggots a bad name."
>Kek.
>Ultimate meta
>Anons argrue about the quality of the show in Equestria
>Somehow all agree that Twilicorn was bad
>They rip off her wings. Then rape her, leaving her in a crying mess of fluids
>Twilight really does lose her wings in season 6
>>27383114
I made it betterThough when all you have is a touch pad it'll always look like shit
>>27384272
>And the ones who don't want any of that shit and just call themselves by their real names.
>Nothing but Kyle's, Keith's and Eugene's
>>27384349
>Nobody runs against Anon
I wrote something out, but don't bother keeping this thread bumped.
It's only barely started, and I have to go to sleep. If this thread's dead tomorrow, I'll start a new one with the same OP picture.
>>27382343
if this happened to me at some point i'd stop being anguished and terrified and just start getting pissed off.
>>27382176
I'll admit it, If my waifu was into it, I'd share. But only up to two or three at most. And only because I'm not a selfish fuckwad and I'm sure not EVERYONE wants a fuck buddy but also/only companion.
Of course that's assuming I was able to get my waifu and she was into it. If not, well tough tomales to all you fine gentlemen. Also just saying, I would be game for making frequent runs to the Griffon Bar across the country so we can indulge in steak and bacon. I'm not sharing my waifu with any vegetarians or vegans. You fuckers are weird.
>>27382342
>Every night is a pillow fight>Ponies; mares AND stallioms, watch
>Ever so hungrily do they watch
>Some near silently whisper "soon"
>They nearly have enough Anon meat for the feast
>The feast of...
>Cocks
>>27384272
>Namefags
Ree.
>>27382176
>Be background pony #35
>Enjoying a deliciously sweet pastry at Sugarcube Corner.
>After working all morning, you deserve it.
>You notice, with a grimace, the large amount of "greenskins"
>These upright apes that Celestia saw fit to dump into this small town.
>They're scary.
>Not because of something like "persistence hunting" or being tall "meat-eaters" with their wolfish grins or whatever.
>They're scary because they are so unpredictable.
>They all look alike.
>Yet, some barely socialize, others are incapable of it, some are "normal" in the sense they can actually carry an engaging conversation and understand social cues, others seem... broken.
>There used to be more of them, but those could barely function by themselves and ended up dead, the Greenskins seemed not to care 'Let the Assburger be' they would say 'Good boy points won't buy him chicken tendies here.'
>They'd then laugh, like it was an inside joke.
>But the worst part is that you never know when they'll suddenly go stir crazy and fight or do something else that's savage.
>Worshipers of Discord the lot of them.
>One alone is fine, but a group can only mean trouble.
>>27385751
>The peppy pink pony that works here hops about delivering ordered sweets.
>The Greenskin's looks are disgusting.
>Some look like they're under the presence of Celestia herself, others, have lust in their eyes.
>Ponyville has seen better days.
>You're about to finish your food and pay when the jingle of the door sounds.
>Another Greenskin.
>"PONKA A SHIT! A SHIT!"
>Silence. The calm before the storm.
>"What did you say?"
>"You heard me!"
>"SHIT SON, KICK HIS ASS!"
>"YEAH!"
>Tables are turned. ponies panic. Greenskins step back and start howling as the instigator and one that said "Ponka is muh waifu" put up their dukes.
>>27385754
>https://youtu.be/180Ba-AM5zE
>Music starts playing so you know it's serious.
>You just thank Celestia it isn't vocals. Greenskin musical lyrics can be... horrifying.
>Instigator jabs, testing the waters.
>The other punches.
>It collides. however!
>"CROSS COUNTAH" "OOOOHH"
>He deflects and attacks to the screams of the audience "Do you even love your waifu!?"
>Things get serious.
>Punches, kicks, throws, they go all out.
>Tables break, pastries fly.
>You can't watch as one is clearly the weaker one.
>All bloodied up, he keeps getting up, smiling ear to ear.
>Instigator doesn't like that, he grabs a chair.
>Ooh boy this isn't good.
>Breaking it on him he just keeps getting up and smiling.
>WHY IS IT SMILING!? That thing's insane!
>He lunges and pushes the other back.
>Farther and farther...
![Anonymous and his STAND [A N A L H O R S E].png](https://i.imgur.com/AaXuN24.jpg "Anonymous and his STAND [A N A L H O R S E].png")
>>27385758
>Be Background pony #66
>Be walking about town.
>Near Sugarcube Corner.
>Suddenly the window breaks and out comes two Greenskins.
>One keeps wailing on the other. 'Don't talk shit about my waifu!'
>He grabs a shard of glass an-
>Oh my goodness!
>"S-Stop that's enough!" Pink pony says. "Why can't you just be nice to each other instead of being meanies? Smile and play together!"
>The one on top loosens the grip on the shard.
>"And the rest of you! Aren't they your friends?"
>"Implying any of us has frie- ow!" one Greenskin elbows another for interrupting.
>"Why do you like to see them fight? You should make a nice party everyone can enjoy not a fight club!"
>Every other Greenskin just look unamused, others laugh, others smile.
>"Best pony saved your ass." says the one nursing a bloodied hand.
>He gets up and turns his back, but stops, as if to say 'This is the time to apologize'
>The other downed Greenskin just spits out some blood and looks him dead in the eye.
>He gets up.
>"Your waifu has the mind of a child, you pedo."
>"You... I can't let this slide! I guess I'll have to use *that*"
>He assumes a flamboyant pose.
>What in Tartarus's name is going on?
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tdu4uKSZ3M
>To be continued
>Celestia and Luna both train a cadre of Anon bodyguards
>Use them in mock fights against each other to prove the age old question of which is best sister
>Every morning and evening the words 'praise the sun/moon' echo throughout the palace
I will fit in the best because I will adjust myself into cartoon form. All you gangly mother fuckers can't compare with the short and stout.
>>27385773
Some Anons are relatively stable. Some are batfuck insane. Some are decent, for a given value of the term. Some are are horrific as any monster.
The point is that every last one of us is weird and unpredictable and in a radically different way. None of us can speak for anyone save ourselves. We're all mutants.
>that one anon who managed to bring his katana and walks around with it everywhere
>that one anon who went full /k/ and fled to live in the Everfree
>that one anon who has literally nothing wrong with him
>that one anon who carries his pissbottles around with him
>that one anon who speaks entirely in copypasta
>>27385813
>that one anon who called Rarity a whore
>that one anon who gave himself a name
>that one anon who says 'check em' everytime he see two identical numbers
>that one anon who communicates by tipping his fedora in morse code
>>27382176
What if the anons hated MLP?
>>27385796
When will you learn?
>>27385796
>wanting to be a manlet
When will they learn?
>>27382316
As long as each Guild doesn't eventually descend into war over differences, this seems like a reasonable outcome.
>>27385813
>>that one anon who has literally nothing wrong with him...that anyone knows about.
>that one anon with an unnatural interest in explosives
>that one anon who smells like skunks and has never been seen lucid, ever.
>that one anon who only speaks in a completely made-up language
>that one anon who regularly sacrifices to a shrine of someone it calls Scruffy.
>>27385793
>"BEHOLD SISTER! OUR CHAMPION!"
>"Yes, that's nice Luna, but please, your tone is slipping."
>"Ah, apologies sister, these age old jovialities bring out that side of me."
>"I think they are great like you, your highness."
>"Kiss ass."
>"What? You wanna go? let's go right now Sun worshiper!"
>Celestia laughs delicately.
>"My, so eager to prove themselves, reminds me of young stallions, would I not know better, I'd think there would be more to this."
>[Armor clinking intensifies]
>"So, dear sister what shall be today's challenge? I beg thee, sister, not another relic hunt, the brave knights set on such a quest have yet to return after many a month..."
>MEANWHILE, FAR AWAY. "-LOOK AT THE BONES!" "Go on anon, chop his head off." "Right, one rabbit stew coming right up!"
>"Don't worry they're fine, however, a simple mock battle should suffice for today, is that okay with you Sir Anonymous?"
>"Your will, my blade."
>"Then, pray tell, what of thou, mine loyal knight?"
>"I will end him rightly."
>>27384921
Alright, here's the start of what I've been working on.
>You are Anon.
>One of many, surprisingly.
>Just another day spent on Vietnam's #1 Salmon Fishing Website, when you came across a thread that had a best phone strawpoll.
>Of course, your voice must be heard, can't let Fast Cunt get the lead.
>However, the link led you somewhere else, yadda yadda yadda, and you woke up in the magical land of Equestria.
>Does it really matter how you got here?
>Well, kind of, because it turns out other people followed in your footsteps, and not all of them were from /mlp/.
>A lot of /co/mrades, some /v/irgins, a couple fa/tg/uys, a crossie from /k/, and a frogposter from /r9k/ are amidst the most recent arrivals.
>And so are you.
>You open your eyes, expecting to be greeted by a slightly cloudy sky and a few branches, but instead are met with ceiling tile splattered with what appears to be chocolate milk.
>"Hey, buddy."
>Some guy snaps in your face.
>"Get off the floor, we don't vacuum in here."
>You sit up, and look around.
>You're in what appears to be the lobby of an apartment building, or a really shitty hotel.
>There's some guy, probably the one who talked to you, next to you in a bellhop outfit.
Nice duds.
>"Thanks, I picked them out myself."
From where, a dumpster behind an oshkoshbgosh?
>"I'll have you know it was a Gap Kids, and-"
>He shakes his head.
>"I don't have time for this. You want a room, or not?"
>You check your pockets and find only some lint and a pressed penny.
>'Scenic Schweitzer Falls, The Backside of Water'
I don't have any money for a room.
>"I didn't ask if you had any money, I asked if you wanted a room. Also, could you get off the floor already? I get enough of this from Jackson over there."
>He gestures through an archway into what looks like a waiting room, with an old radio in the corner instead of a television.
Cont.
>>27386315
>There's a grown man wearing footie pajamas one size too small on the floor in front of it, listening to a Radio Serial about Daring Do.
>He has one arm beneath him. You shudder, and get to your feet.
>Approaching the counter, there are a lot of hooks on the wall behind the guy. Each with a number, and you know how a hotel lobby works.
>"So, what room you want? They're pretty much all the same, so it's really comes down to what number you think you'll remember."
>Well, that's a tough one. Your not one for remembering little details.
What rooms do you have left?
>"Let's see here, I got 12, 27, uhh 24, and the Broom Closet."
Why bring up the broom closet?
>"What's it to you?"
>Fair point.
I'll take room 12.
>He tosses you the key.
>"Don't lose that now, it's hard to get copies made. I don't get paid for this, and it costs a lot of bits."
That's the first part. What do you think so far?
>>27386321
When I say first part, I mean first scene.
Sorry, there's more to this chapter. I just want to know what you think of the syntax so far.
>>27385793
Yall don't want none, bruh.
>>27385813
>that one anon who has literally nothing wrong with him
>me
>>27386349
Act 1, Scene 2.
>You finally exit the building, and are greeted with a view of Ponyville in the distance, and Twilight's shitty Crystal Cathedral on the opposite side of town.
>Canterlot Castle looms in the distance behind it, and the Everfree separates the town from the mountain's base, stretching around the village to close in behind your back.
>You've gotta say, this is a nice view. You doubt your room even has a window, though.
>Meh, you'll see it later. Right now, you've got to make your arrival.
>You make a brisk pace down the dirt path, and find yourself at City Hall at the center of town. There are two other people standing in front of the building, one holding a sign and the other in a hotdog suit.
>The sign reads-
>"ALL NEW ARRIVALS, PLEASE PRESENT YOURSELF TO BE RECORDED. THE ACB VALUES YOUR DEDICATION."
>"Why even bother giving me a sign if you're just gonna shout it every time someone goes by?'
>"Because shut up. What if they're deaf? Or blind?"
>"What if they don't speak English, we had at least one guy who kept saying 'Ya Es Hora', they had to lock him in a cell."
>"A fluke. There are no more foreign posters, and have been none since the second scruffening-"
Hey, I'm a new arrival, I guess.
>"Yeah, just head on in." Hotdog guy waves you in, and goes back to his conversation. "You've got to understand, there was this one guy who had cataracts and made his kid brother post online for him."
>"Everyone's seen that screengrab. The guy's probably dead by now."
>"Are you saying no one else with cataracts would go on 4chan?"
>"I'm saying it's unlikely."
>Town hall is full of other humans waiting in several different lines, all holding different forms.
>You go into the closest line to you, and prepare for an arduous journey.
I just want the story of one normal Anon that didn't even want to be sent to Equestria and his daily trials of having to deal with the discrimination against humans caused by the retarded actions of every other Anon
>>27386402
>we had that one guy who kept saying 'Ya Es Hora', they had to lock him in a cell
>>27382176
Vore probabily.
>>27386402
Act 1, Scene 3.
>"Ok, now that you've filled out form AYB-720, had your bloodwork done, and been far even as decided, we just have one last question."
Is this another shitty old meme? We get it, longcat is long, he's probably also dead by now.
>"No no no, it's just a final formality. How do you wish to be addressed?"
I picked room 12, but I don't know what street it's on,
>"No, what's your moniker? Some people chose to actually use their real name, or in some cases a real name, and we'd like to know if you would like to as well."
Oh, right. Anon's fine.
>You don't really have that much attachment to your real name. You never liked it anyway, people always spelled it wrong.
>"Alright then, Anonymous number 12311, welcome to Equestria."
>The guy behind the counter stamps a couple of your forms, and hands you a hand drawn index card.
>He then files it all away, and you here the sounds of blades whirring.
>"You don't have to carry the card around, but don't lose it. Otherwise, you'll have to do the entire process over."
What happens if I lose it, and don't cone back for another one?
>"What do I care, faggot, it's not like we're keeping track of how many of us are actually out there, otherwise we'd have to keep using old numbers whenever some retard gets himself killed."
>The shutter closes, and a little sign says 'Use Next Window.'
>Finally leaving town hall, you see the moon has risen and you've been in there for god knows how long.
>Hotdog guy and his friend are gone, and it seems the center is nearly empty.
>Except for one guy sitting on a park bench below a streetlamp that didn't get extinguished.
>He looks like he's had a rough time, and is shivering heavily despite his plush jacket.
>In any other instance, you'd ignore the vagrant, but this is one of your fellow horsefuckers. Where would we all be without the magic of friendship?
Cont.
>>27386482
>You start to head towards the poor fellow, but trip over your pants, which had unexpectedly fallen down.
>You end up accidentally lodging your own cock down your throat, and choke to death.
>Thus ends your story. You fucking idiot.<--- To Be Continued.
>>27386490
Act 2, Scene 1.
>Be Anon. Just anon, you don't need a fucking number.
>Some asshole, newly minted by the pleb detector just fell victim to it's ingenious design.
>By taking part of the Anonymous Census Bureau, the fool thought he could change his ways, and abandon his past life of what probably was just working all day and staying up until 3AM in the morning posting on 4chan.
>Bastard didn't realize that you can't choose the thug life, it's gotta choose you.
>Quid pro quo, OP sucks cocks.
>You get off your bench and walk over to his corpse.
>A quick rummage through his pockets yields a commemorative coin from Disneyland, one if those stupid index cards, and
Applejack's Parents in Pony Heaven!
>A room key! You're not homeless anymore.
>You run up the old dirt path to the Anon Acres, glad to have a warm bed for the night.
>>27385928
Of course they would descend into war. Where do you think we are?
>>27385813
>>that one anon who managed to bring his katana and walks around with it everywhere
>>27385813
>that one anon who acts like it's a nuclear apocalypse
>that one anon who keeps saying "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MIRROR PORTAL"
>that one anon who keeps finding animals and saying "No Hooves"
>that one anon who keeps carrying around a bottle of mysterious white and brown liquid with what seems to be a blue figure inside it
>that one anon who's clothing is made entirely of scarves
>>27386840
Act 2, Scene 2
>Be Keith.
>The Bellhop?
>Are you kidding me, you weren't named earlier in the narrative?
>Welp, it's just like you expected. The newest arrival was a Class A Polesmoker.
>Good thing you already took a shit in his room's toilet.
>That'll learn him to not mock wageslave's uniforms.
>Wait, if you're not getting paid, how could you be
>That thought is interrupted by the arrival of some anon in a shitty winter parka.
>"Hey there! I'll just be heading up to my room. Set a wakeup call for tomorrow morning at 10o'clock. Don't want to miss the Continental Breakfast. I'll be in room 12."
>And he's already heading upstairs. Wait, room 12? Isn't that the newbies room? And haven't you seen that guy before today? Meh, as long as you get paid on time, you don't care.
>Wait, you don't get...
>Be Nowhere Man.
Cont.
>>27386840
>Cool name, right?
>Fuck that old copypasta, the Beatles are amazing.
>Well, were amazing. Half are dead and you don't have any of their cds with you.
>Nevertheless, that's the name you chose when you filled out your ACB forms.
>And now that's what all the friends you've made in Equestria call you, too!
>How cool is that!
>Anyway, it's a new day in Ponyville, and you've got to go help best pony, in your opinion, set up for tonight's show.
>She's playing another Pinkie Pie party, this one is to commemorate Mayor Mare's 5th year in office.
>Mayor Mare sure does enjoy DJ Pon-3's hot jams.
>Especially when she manages to pull off a live remix.
>But to do that, she needs her specialized turntable set, which is kept in a storage locker way over across town from her and Octavia's house.
>Luckily, Anon Acres happens to be close by, so you're always happy to lend a hand.
>You don your chapeau of choice, an ACTUAL fedora. NOT a Trilby like all those pasty faced neckbeards wear.
>You also grab your keychain, with your room key - good old room 14 - the key to the Storage Locker, and your Record Keychain.
>It combines your two favorite things, DJ Pon-3's Cutie Mark, and Dave Strider's Symbol.
>It's a shame you never got to see how Homestuck ended, but you're sure it was Epic.
>As you exit your room, you bump into someone in the hall.
Oh, pardon me! I didn't see you there.
>The man in the Beat up Winter Jacket glances back at you as he continues down the hall.
>"Yeah, sure. Whatever."
>What a terribly rude fellow. But, it shall not spoil another day helping your very best friend.
>You follow him down the stairs, and where he turns into the dining area, you turn towards the front lobby, and by extension the front door, to make your way over to the Storage Facility.
>>27387054
Act 2, Scene 2
>"Good morning, Nowhere Man."
Good morning, Kwikset.
>"Here to see Miss. Scratch's locker?"
You bet. She needs her Auto-Record Switcher Table for Mayor Mare's Five Years in Office party tonight.
>"Alright, I'll come open the gate for you."
>Kwikset steps down from his chair and into his walker.
>It takes him a while to get around, him being an older stallion, but you don't mind the wait. You have plenty of time before you even need to start setting up.
>You begin to hum to yourself.
https://vimeo.com/32313020
>>27387179
Act 2, Scene 3
>Be Anon. Goddamn, is this breakfast delicious.
>Good thing it's continental too, which supplies you with Griffon Delicacies such as Muffins and MEAT.
>What with Ponies being herbivores, thank goodness Griffons are a composite of two predators.
>As you sink your teeth into your third sausage, you think about how this makes up for the massive log the last guy left in his room.
>He knew he'd be out all day, how could he just leave it in there?
>Probably because he thought it'd only be him entering his room. Yeah, that makes sense you guess.
>While your mind is on the facilities, it drifts over to the shower you were very thankful to have.
>However, while your body is clean your clothes are not.
>Your pit stains dominate your entire sides, and your pants would be considered fashionable if they looked like that when they were sold. And were jeans instead of slacks.
>And your trusty Winter Coat, has more holes than Rarity could fill, that slut.
>Wait, that's it. You'll get Rarity to fix up your clothes.
>Wait, again. You rest your head in one hand while the other forks some scrambled eggs into you. You don't have any money. You guess you'll have to find work somewhere.
>Well, maybe you could appeal to her Generosity, after all that is her element. You wouldn't believe with how selfish she can get at times, though.
>Yeah, that seems like a good plan. And worst comes to worst, you could offer to trade services for "services" Hehe. Eugh.
>You down the last of your OJ and head out into town.
>>27382458
>They have a secret clubhouse in the everfree forest
>the secret password is a round of baneposting for anons, and a minor meme for all other species
>if a pony enters, their presence is announced by the door guard yelling that he wants to cum inside
>any time a female enters the clubhouse, all memebers are obliged to shout "LONDON" at the top of their lungs
>a very large chalkboard is provided on one of the walls for shitposting
>swearing and fighting is allowed, but lewdness is strictly taboo
>at the top of each hour, a bouncer by the name of Scruffy escorts anons he doesn't like that day out of the club
>anyone who acts new or can't meme correctly while in the club has to buy the house a round of drinks
>>27387191
Act 2, Scene 4
>Carousel Boutique is easy to find, as a few of your former fellow vagrant anons have set up camp just beyond fifty feet of the building.
>These are mostly Rarfags, but a few are here for someone else, hence the distancing.
>You make your way past the shantytown and into the Boutique.
>All the anons behind you watch with baited breathed.
>Several Minutes Pass...
>"AND YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT ME EVER DOING ANY ALTERATIONS TO EVEN A SOCK. IF I EVER SEE YOU IN HERE AGAIN, I SHALL HAVE YOU DRAWN AND QUARTERED."
>"I WOULD SAY 'GOOD DAY, SIR', BUT I NEITHER WISH THAT FOR YOU, NOR BELIEVE YOU TO BE A GENTLECOLT."
>And she slams the door in your face.
>Well, that certainly could've gone better.
>You head back to the shantytown, wait a couple seconds, then head back up to the Boutique's door.
>You rap on the door, and put a slight affectation on your voice.
Pardon me, Miss Rarity?
>The door swings open.
>"WHAT DID I JUST SAY TO YOU, YOU COWARD, BULLY, CAD AND-"
I-I'm sorry, but this is my first time here. I was told you were a seamstress, so you could help me fix my clothes.
>"I... Oh, dear. You're a different Anon, aren't you? My apologies darling, I just had the most horrid altercation with some other, mmhm, person.
>You can see the disdain dripping in her voice when she says 'person'. You didn't know you could leave such a mark. At least she won't have to deal with 'that anon' any more.
It's fine, I can understand how some of these guys can be real assholes.
>"Perhaps a bit vulgar... but then again, no. Vulgarities are suitable to this individual. But, you're not here to listen to my airing of grievances, what do you need tailored?"
Just my winter coat. I've had this since I dropped out of college, so it's seen a lot.
>"Oh, but what about the rest of your ensemble? Your button up looks to be duotone by how much is stained, and your trousers are so frayed they may as well be a grass skirt for all the protection they provide."
Cont.
>>27387363
I'm not really as attached to them as I am the jacket. But, if you have any other clothes for humans I'd like to take a look.
>"Oh, but of course. Since all you hyoomans have been showing up, I've had quite a good amount of business coming through. Though sadly, not many repeat customers. Although, there is that one fellow who bring in these garish pajamas from time to time. Ugh, you should smell the odor that comes off them. But then again, I wouldn't wish for the foulest of a foe to catch even the smallest whiff. Oh, but listen to me prattle on, let me show you to my selection of hyooman wear and then to a dressing room."
>She takes your coat and escorts you to a single rack of suits, all very similar with minute differences invisible to your untrained eyes.
>six anons get sent to equestria, one for every mane6
>a bet is made on who wins his waifu's heart first
>anons are encouraged to try and sabotage their competitor's plans however they see fit
>months of scheming, backstabbing and manly tears later, one anon is awarded the win, and with it a year's supply of pony treats and the honorary title of horsepussy master
>>27387376
Act 2, Scene 5
>Be Keith again.
>The Bellhop, remember?
>It's been a quiet morning so far, which is a great relief from your usual amount of work.
>The only things to happen today are several anons and others leaving for their work, and the new new guy in room 12 scarfing down half the Continental Buffet.
>But, the peace is not to last, as you hear the familiar pitter pat of manbaby feet.
>"Daddy! It's Cinny Crunch time!"
>It's time for the most loathsome part of your day to start. And it won't end until Jackson is back in his 'crib' in the boiler room.
Good morning, Jacky, I'll get your cinny crunch, just go sit down in the dindin room.
>"No, daddy, I wanna listen to the ragio while I eat!"
>You heave a sigh. Now comes the hard part.
Alright, that'll cost 3 Good Boy Points.
>Jackson looks back at you with a very serious expression on his face.
>"But I've been saving my GBP for a mini ice box, daddy. If I spend 3 points, that's 3 more I'll have to earn back!"
>Tears begin to well up, but you can see the fire burning behind them.
Uh, well Jacky, if you finish all your cerea- I mean cinny crunch without spilling any milk, I'll give you 4 points.
>The tears evaporate, and he calms down.
>"Fank you, daddy. I'll be in the ragio room."
>He lumbers off, and sits his fat ass down in his usual spot, that have become a grease stain in the carpeting by now.
>You go into the kitchen to make his bowl of cereal, and think about how you don't get paid enough for this.
>Wait, you don't get...
>Be Mr. Cool Ice
>>27385841
It just never gets old.
>>27387475
Act 2, Scene 6
>Man, you almost wish, but no you're just plain old Oscar.
>Oscar Meyer, that is.
>That's right, thanks to Equestria's Greatest Designer, you have realized your dream to be an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
>However, the entire world is not in love with you, as they have no such product in horse land.
>You even tried branching out into other brands, but when you asked a Royal Guard if she wanted an Armor Hotdog, she just got all flustered.
>Their loss, to not value branding in their food products.
>Then again, the only places that really have hotdogs in steady supply, other than Anon Acres, is the Griffon Embassy so it's no wonder ponyville doesn't really know what the deal is with your outfit.
>But, the humor wasted is not your main concern right now. What is is the dead nigger outside city hall.
>He's not actually black, he's green like everyone else, but he sure does look stupid.
>You pick up the card left on the body, and see he is #12311.
>From what you've heard about Shirley's Transactions within the hall, he must be the most recent arrival.
>Oh, did you forget to mention?
>You're one of the few, the proud, the Anonymous Census Bureau Cerical Workers League, or the ACBCWL.
>Your carrying card looks a hell of a lot nicer than the shitty index cards you give out to people who choose to stay anonymous.
>You look back down to the doubled over corpse, and remember you've gotta clear the debris out of here. It's Mayor Mare's 5th Year in Office Party tonight, and she's your boss.
Hey, Ron.
>"Yeah, Oscar?"
We'll need the wheelbarrow to transport the corpse. It turns out he's just an anon.
>"Tsk Tsk Tsk, poor old sod."
Yeah, it's a real shame. He only just got here too.
>You show him the index card.
>"Wow, that really sucks." He looks over the body, "At least he died less painfully than most of the other newbies."
>You pause for a moment.
Cont.
>>27387604
How could you know that?
>"Cause I'm looking at him."
No, I mean how could you Know that his death was any less painful than any other new arrival?
>"I've heard some serious shit from anons who try to make it outside of pony cities. Ripped to shreds by Manticores, Frozen by Wendigos, even Harvested by Changelings."
How is a harvesting painful? You know what, nevermind. The point is, choking to death on your own cock seems incredibly painful. Not just due to the choking, but also how the spine has to bend to even get the tip in your mouth. If I pulled his shirt off, you'd probably see bone bulging against his flesh.
>"Ehh, it just doesn't seem as bad as being worked to death in the Diamond Dog Mines or something."
>You are about to refute his point, when one of Mayor Mare's assistants walks out and starts yelling at you.
>"What are you two doing just standing around! Get the body out of the-"
>She sees the corpse and starts to pale.
>"I think I'm gonna be sick."
>And rushes off back inside Town Hall.
She's right. We'll continue this discussion later, for now get the wheelbarrow.
>>27385796
>fat manlet
ahahaahahaha
>After offering to place orders for books she doesn't have the castle Library is now 90% smut
>Applejack had to surround all of Sweet Apple Acres with barbed wire fences too keep out the hundreds of greenskins asking her for a job on a daily basis, often breaking their legs in an attempt to prove they're capable
>Much to her regret Fluttershy now houses hundreds of anons in her house, every night she spends awake and staring at the ceiling as several snoring greenskins forcibly cuddle with her
>Though Rarity initially saw this as an opportunity to try some brand new style of clothing her enthusiasm quickly dried up after she churned out hundreds of identical black suits
>Pinkie Pie had friendship in her heart and money signs in her eyes when blubber anons filled up every table in Sugar Cube Corner, only to deflate when they mention they have no money only after cleaning out the shop
>Rainbow Dash has been forced into hiding, any time the green skins catch a single glance at her they give chase, screaming about the lewd things they wish to do to her
>Glimmer seems to cause a very strange reaction among the anons, when some see her they will follow her around screaming that she is the "best pony" only to shortly after be descended upon by other anons calling them "shitposters"
>The Everfree forest has become more dangerous than ever since the green skins with their ess kay ess devices took it over, no one has seen Zecora in months, she's presumably been eaten
>Every morning the entire town is awoken to the chanting of "praaaaaaaaaaise the suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!" and every evening the town is kept awake to the chanting of "praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaise the moooooooooooooooooon!" The only time they get a break is on winter days when both the sun and moon can be seen in the sky and skirmishes break out across the town
>Who gives a fuck about what happened to Spike?
>>27385813
>that one Anon who was a manlet and thought he was tough
>That one Anon who actually worked out
>That one Anon who the ponies avoid because he offered to tongue Scootaloo's ponut
>That one Anon who misses 4chan and tries to recreate it using a public message board
>>27387607
Act 2, Scene 7
>Estás Anonymous.
>Usted ha estado atrapado en esta celda para quién sabe cuánto tiempo.
>Es realmente terrible lo que va a hacer de América frente a los extranjeros.
>Es aún más terrible que todavía actúan de esta forma en lo que es un coutry extranjero, incluso si todos los caballos hacen hablar Inglés.
>Que realmente tenía grandes esperanzas cuando llegó por primera vez. Ibas a ser un vaquero en Appleoosa.
>La gente escribe canciones populares de ti, y que habían introducir un nuevo lenguaje en el mundo.
>Pero no, estas personas tienen que ser tan envuelto en su propia vida que se consideran una molestia.
>Siguieron repitiendo "No Es Hora" a usted, ya que se ven obligados aquí.
>Pero lo peor de todo es su compañero de celda.
>You're name is Not Important.
>You're just some Nobody who happened end up in Talking Horse Land.
>They stuck you in this cell at least a whole year ago, as you were one of the first few humans to show up here.
>They keep calling you Anonymous for some reason, and saying you did all these things like paint a giant ass on the side of a barn, or molest an animal care specialist and some of her animals.
>What reason do you have to be here?
>Why should you be punished for things you never did?
>Over the past year, more and more crimes have been levied against you. What started as a night in the drunk tank has turned into 10 to life.
>Obviously, these horses don't have a good measure of your lifespan.
>One of them rushes past you into the restroom, and you can hear the dry heaving all the way out here.
>How do horses even have a gag reflex? All they eat is oats and hay.
>Speaking of diets, this prison food has done wonders for your physique.
>You look like you made the Charles Atlas transformation. From a scrawny weakling to an Adonis.
>They gave you some weights to keep you in form until the trials actually end. You think they're gonna sentence you to hard labor.
Cont.
>>27387783
>You feel like maybe you should do something about this, but you can't really connect with who you were a year ago. You can't get in touch with that old sense of morals.
>You can't resist the temptation to simply break out of your cell. After all, tonight is some event celebrating the mayor. All attention will be elsewhere.
>It seems perfect, and you'll have to give it a shot.
>>27387783Translation:
>You are Anonymous.
>You've been stuck in this cell for who knows how long.
>It's really terrible what American will do when faced with foreigners.
>It's even more terrible that they still act this way in what is a foreign coutry, even if all the ponies do speak English.
>You really had high hopes when you first arrived. You were going to be a cowboy in Appleoosa.
>People would write folk songs about you, and you'd introduce a new language into the world.
>But no, these people have to be so wrapped up in their own lives that they consider you a nuisance.
>They kept repeating "No Es Hora" at you as they forced you in here.
>But the worst of it is your cell mate.
>>27387791
Act 2, Scene 8
>Be Nowhere Man again.
>Or rather, be "Going Nowhere" Man.
>Because that is the speed at which you are currently going, and the location.
>You've been stuck outside the gates of Kwikset's Storehouse Lockup for about 2 hours now.
>Even your patience has its limits, after all it takes an hour to move the thing, an hour to set it up, and then a variable amount of time to calibrate the operating arms, make sure the audio is balanced to DJ Pon-3's specific settings, and get all the records in the right order.
Mr. Kwikset? Are you in there.
>You immediately facepalm. Of course he's in there.
I mean, are you alright?
>You struggle to hear anything, but there is only the rustling of branches in the breeze.
Okay, okay. Let's think for a moment. Either he's fallen down and can't get up, or just can't hear me. If it's the latter, it'd be rude to intrude. It is private property. However, if it is the former, then I'm the only one who knows he's in there. And I'm the only one who can help him.
>You struggle with this Herculain quandary for a moment, and resolve to assist Kwikset by any means necessary.
>The front gate is too high to scale, and you don't want to break a window, so you circlearound the building.
>There! The bathroom window is slightly ajar.
>You wedge your fat fingers into the crack, and heave.
>The window flies open, but the aperture remains to small for you to gain entry.
Confound it!
>You continue on, past the main building and into an alleyway.
>Meanwhile, Kwikset has finally reached the front gate and starts to go through the keys, failing to notice the absence of Nowhere Man.
Cont.
>>27387950
>The alleyway narrows down as it goes along.
>But this is in fact the opposite of a problem!
>By simply employing your hardcore parkour skills, you can make your way onto the roof of the neighboring building and then over the fence.
>Then it is simply a matter of finding and assisting poor old Mr. Kwikset.
>You put one foot against the wooden fence, then the other against the brick wall, and slowly make your way up.
>It really takes a toll on you, so you have to catch your breath between each step.
This'll... take... awhile...
>>27387958
Act 2, Scene 9
>Be Anon again.
>You look like you just came off the lobby floor, this suit's so nice.
>Time to break the news to Dress Horse.
Uh, Rarity. I have to ask you something.
>"Oh, don't worry Anonymous, I found a fabric that matches your Winter Wear perfectly. It'll be like you never wore it before today."
It's not that, you see I don't have a job so I've got-
>You swallow loudly to really lay it on thick.
I've got no way to pay for all this.
>She glances through the door way of her workshop.
>"Oh, dear. This does put a damper on things, because I've just finished covering the holes in your jacket."
>She displays her handiwork proudly, but with a somber expression.
>"It's such a shame, I thought this was a very good restoration."
Well, I mean, there must be some way for me to pay you back for it.
>Your hand starts to reach into your belt, but you let it rest there remembering what caused your first visit to fail.
>"Well, there might be a couple of things. Little menial tasks you can perform so I have more time to focus on my latest venture. I'm not only crafting a new line of dresses, but I'm split between here and the newest Carousel Boutique in Manehatten. Anything that you could do to help would be greatly appreciated, and perhaps if you do a good job I wont tear this precious sentiment into shreds."
Well, that's very kind of you Miss-
>Wait a minute.
>"Oh, don't stand there with that look on your face. Do you really think I'm simple enough to not be able to tell all of you apart? I've never seen any other hyooman with a jacket like this, so thinking that putting on a new voice will be enough to trick me is ludicrous."
>She places your coat into a closet in her workshop, and turns back to you, levitating over a scroll with several addresses on it.
Cont.
>>27388138
>"I need a set of needles, new stand for one of my mannequins, several bolts of fabric need to be picked up from the depot, a daisy salad specially prepared for moi, and several other things explained in detail there for you."
>As you read the details, a bag of bits catches you off guard in the gut.
>"And I've already tabulated the cost of everything, so don't try sneaking off with the change. Now, go go go!"
>You are pushed out of the boutique with the door closing behind you.
>The crowd looks at you, saying nothing.
>You look back, and then leave going around them rather than through.
>The last thing you want is one of these maniacs finding out you got a job working with their waifu.
>>27388147
Act 2, Scene 10
>You are, uhhh,
>Who are you again?
>You set down your pipe and pull out your card.
>As you do that, a whole bunch of pistachios fall out too.
Aw, sweet!
>As you eat some nuts, you look at the card.
>'Anonymous #1402'
>But you misread it as 'Anonymous #1, 420!'
Yeaaah. Ha ha...
>You do a finger gun at the card and let it fall from your hand.
>You look around and see you're in a tree.
>Like, not up it, but in a hollow trunk.
>There are a couple paper designs on the walls.
>Wait, if it's a tree are they really walls?
>Whatever, the papers are long strips folded together, like when people knit things.
>Your grandma used to knit you things all the time. Like sweaters and beanies and socks and slippers and pajama bottoms and mug cozies and, uhh, and...
>You can't really remember what else she made.
>The paper thing's got three colors on it, red, yellow, and green.
>Where have you seen a color pattern like this before?
>You try to think, but as you do you look around the tree some more.
>There's a pile of hay where you were sitting.
Is that the bed... or the kitchen?
>You start giggling a lot. Ponies love them some hay.
>You try to get back to what you were thinking of before, but you forget.
>You decide to grab your pipe and leave the tree.
>You step out into Town Hall's Central Courtyard.
Woah, how'd I get here from the forest so quick?
>"Like. you didn't come from the forest, Anon, you were just in our papier-mache tree we made for the Mayor's Celebration"
Holy shit, a talking horse!
>Tree Hugger chuckles a bit at your joke, and you start to giggle too without realizing it.
>You suddenly realize you gotta whiz really bad.
Hey, can you look after this for me.
>You set the pipe down next to her.
>"Oh, sure. I'll take good care of it. You go have fun with some of the other ponies."
>You shoot her a finger gun, and head into Town Hall itself, right past the portajohns.
Cont.
>>27388340
>As you walk, you hear someone say "It's not like him to be late, and even if he were he'd at least say something, right?" and another voice say, "You can't keep hedging all your bets on this one guy, Vinyl, he's too weird." and the first one say, "But he's been really dependable so far! And he actually digs my sound, rather than fakes it to try and saddle up like other groupies!"
>In Town Hall, you walk over to the bathroom when this guy starts yelling at you from behind the bars.
>He's talking so fast you can't understand a word he's saying.
>Oh wait, shit, he's speaking spanish.
Donde esta es el Baño?
>He sighs, and points right behind you.
Oh, killer. Gracias.
>You go to relieve yourself.
>>27388352
Act 2, Scene 11
>You are Jacky, and you'll be damned if your cover is blown.
>Your real name is Special Agent Jackson, and as part of the CIA's fight against deep web porn distribution rings, you have been placed as a deep cover operative on 4chan notorious ROBOT 9000 forum.
>You've spent so long under cover, that you indoctrinated some of these poster's strange idiosyncracies into your everyday demeanor.
>As such, you stopped going to the office and instead set up a base of operations in your ailing mother's retirement home.
>However, this does not mean you would go so far as to ask your poor sick mother for anything, let alone see you in this state.
>No, you instead get what you need through the hospital's staff.
>Due to your mission requiring you to monitor every single post, you've taken up their practice of relieving one's self into empty soda bottles as well.
>However, complications in the mission have arisen. Upon following an offsite link, you found yourself in a completely new locale. You have concluded you were kidnapped by people you've been monitoring.
>So, now the cover gets even deeper, as you must maintain the persona of what many of them refer to as a "Frog Poster".
>You have yet to decipher the call signs they use yet, but as far as you can tell, a Frog Poster is an agent in training for whatever their ring is operating in.
>The only way to ascend into the next level is to gain enough "Good Boy Points" to "buy" a "Mini Fridge".
>You are almost certain a Mini Fridge is code for a storage locker where they keep both severed limbs, and kidnapped children.
>However, along with gaining these points, you must also act in the persona of a juvenile deliquent, as many of these people are "NEETS", which you know to mean Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
>It's not all conjectural, and so you must act on your worst behavior. Especially since you are constantly under the watchful eye of their ringleader, who calls himself "Daddy".
Cont.
>>27388528
>You sit in the same position you have for the past 6 months, pretending to stimulate yourself to these strange broadcasts about an Indiana Jones-Type who is also a Horse. With Wings.
>The only thing you can think of that meaning is some cross between Heroin and Angel Dust.
>The program ends, and you slam a fist into the ground.
>Damn, why can't you find out what they're up to?
>You nearly topple your cereal bowl, but you save it.
>You need those Good Boy Points, you're only 37 away. If only there were some big thing you could do to prove to them you're ready for the next level.
>"Good job, Jacky. You didn't spill any." He is completely uninterested, but you act as if this was a great compliment. You clap your hands with glee, and grin like an idiot.
>Only 36 now.
>>27382176
Satyrs everywhere.
>>27388534
Is anyone actually reading this? I'm writing Act 13 right now, and want to know before I hit a writer's block.
>>27382176
There was a long, sprawling greentext story on /mlp/ a long time ago by a guy named Horsefellow focusing on this very subject. It was one of my favorites, so I looked him up to see if it ever got updated and found this:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/527877/welcome-back
>It feels strange that it's been almost a whole year since I stopped updating 'A Nor/mlp/erson in Equestria' and stranger still that I never finished it. I never even continued after I stopped what I wrote on /mlp/ that day in September. None of the old writefags did. I kind of miss it all, and I kind of miss them and their stories. Especially the one by (a) 'Rarifag' about Claire. God damn, many fun late nights had reading those.
>Once upon a time, I considered bringing it back. I considered making another thread on the anniversary of the very first but then realised that it probably wouldn't last very long. Very few people would remember the story and even fewer would be interested in reading everything that I've already written to catch up. So fuck it, looks like the only way that story is continuing is when I decide to write the prose. Feel free to fucking bother me literally every day until something gets done.
>If any of you ever went to regularly check my pastebin, you'd notice that it's all gone...
>I hate it.
>And to be honest, I hated it at the time too. People kept telling me to keep going and I was just sitting in my chair knowing that I was making the wrong decision. So sorry, but I won't be restoring that one any time soon.
>Anyway, so nor/mlp/erson is gone because I want to completely rewrite most of it. Because back then I had an idea but I made up a lot of it on the spot.
Fuck, he posted that a year ago on Aug-20th,my birthday.
>>27388578
Right, Ive got two acts on the backburner.
I'm taking a shower and going to a movie. If this thread's still here then I'll continue posting. If not, I'll still finish it on my own time. But you likely wont ever see it.
>>27388662
I remember that story, was pretty good and it was disappointing it was never finished. Though, the same can be said for much of the green text you find.
>>27388662
My god, I remember that one... There was Anon and a bunch of tripfags who only knew their shitty OC name to be their own. They all got assigned to live with ponies based on some personality test bullshit twilight cooked up and the one who ended up living with her was trying to overthrow the government or some shit.Fuck, I do miss that one...
>>27386429
I'm a faggot, explain?
>>27388669
Don't ask to continue, you faggot. Keep going. I'm liking this.
>>27388578
>>27388669
I'M READING IT
>>27385813
>That one anon Who hate me because I like the anime and call me weeabo and he not even know what's that word means
>>27385928
>Humans
>Not descending into war eventually
Are you forgetting what species you are son? Us people always end up fighting over something. If my time on this Earth has taught me one thing, that would be it.
>>27390504
this tee bee eych
>>27389455
>>27389466
All my stuff is on my desktop, so I guess I can't post it until tomorrow. Sorry about that.
DID SUMBUDDY SAY GREENSKENS?
>>27382176
spaghetti everywhere
>>27382176
THERE CAN ONLY BE OOOOOOONE!
>Suddenly a throng of green-masked men appear
>They all sound like Microsoft Sam
>AEIOU
>>27386031
>>"I will end him rightly."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jETLCm7k3sU
>lunafag starts frantically trying to unscrew te pommel of his sword
>the sunfag starts stabing him while making carlos tier puns
>>27389318
ya ess hora was the catchphrase of the spanish speaking thread, were anons would infigth about which shitskin hellhole war the faggiest, mock eacchothers regional accents and use the autosaging theadrs to distribute gmasked pics and onion links to decades old kassa kidie porn
>>27382176
Lots of dead anons and lots of dead monsters.
I don't know which is more scarier.
>>27385773
>>not a fight club
pinkie what have you done?
>>27393127
>>27388534
I am returned. Here's a Pastebin. http://pastebin.com/u/ACBCWL
Act 2 wont be uploaded until it's done, though.
Anyway, Act2, Scene 12
>"-So, it just makes that much more sense. Every point you've made so far only supports my argument."
>You groan, and it turns into a growl.
There is no possible way! Absolutely none! It would make no sense to what we've seen so far!
>"You must be a pharoah, if you have this much denial. It fits in perfectly, and guess what, next time we get called to the corporate offices, we'll skip out and ask her ourself."
You can't be serious.
>"As a heart attack on the sabbath."
Fine! We'll skip out on any and all responsibilitiies we may have to go to Canterlot Castle itself, SOMEHOW make our way in without ANY prior interactions with any member of Royalty, and ask Princess Celestia herself, 'Uhh, say Princess, is it true that you're gonna make Starlight an Alicorn too?'
>"Well when you say it like that, you make it sound impossible. You know a lot of royal guards! Just ask one of them to pass the message along!"
And what about our jobs?
>"I hate this job! I wish we'd never started doing it! Not enough people want to actually name themselves so the system can track them, so we end up wasting thousands upon thousands of forms to give people the runabout. If people actually cared about their Identities, we'd have more luck getting them jobs and there wouldn't be six separate slums in this town!"
Oh Celestia, you're right. The system is inherently flawed, just like back on Earth. How could we expect anyone from this godforsaken site to want to work, even if it is with who are nice without ulterior motives.
>"Well, maybe it's possible we're the ones who caused this."
...How so?
>"Maybe it's not about their devaluation of identity, but our stubborness to not actually track Anons as they arrive."
>You pull out the card from the body you just left out in the Everfree.
Cont.
>>27395505
>"Maybe if we start from scratch, convince our superiors to adopt a new method of registration into a real index, and encourage those already counted who really weren't to come back, we could rejuvinate the community enough so that when 'Anonymous #Whatever' dies, he's not just tossed out like garbage.
>You open your wallet and put Anon #12311's Card next to yours.
Well, it's certainly worth a shot.
>>27395512
Act 2, Scene 13
>You, Nowhere Man, finally pull yourself onto the roof of the brick building.
>You flop down on your and start breathing heavier than usual.
>You pull out your inhaler and give yourself a boost.
>Starting to breath easier, you take a look around.
>There's Mayor Mare's Party in the distance, and the Sun in the sky behind it.
>Checking your watch, you see it's already 3o'clock.
>You stand up and turn toward the fence.
>Looking left, you see there was a ladder on the back of the building.
Oh, come on. No, no time for grievances now, you've got a senior citizen to save.
>You get a running start, and leap...
>Kwikset has finally found the key to the front gate.
>"Alright, Nowhere, come on in. I'm sure you're in a hurry, so don't mind me. I'll be back in my office."
>And he walks back leaving the gate ajar.
>Your back leg, as in the leg you leapt with, gets caught on the fence, swinging you downward.
>Luckily, Kwikset forgot to lock the Dumpsters last night, so you have a slightly less hard landing straight into a pile of garbage.
>As you try to find which way is up amidst used condoms and soiled pillows, you hear a voice.
>"Say, you alright in there?"
I'm quite fine, Kwikset, it's you I'm concerned about.
>You start to struggle to the surface.
>Kwikset looks over himself, "What's wrong with me? You're the one who fell into the garbage."
>You finally pop your head out, to see Kwikset is as spry as he has been for the past months you've known him.
Oh, it was nothing.
>"Here son, let me help you out of there."
No, Kwikset, I can get out on my own. And even if I couldn't, I wouldn't want you to accidentally overexert yourself.
>You actually are struggling to get out, so only the second half of your statement is true.
>However, you are filled with new fervor, as now you only have to worry about getting DJ Pon-3 her Turntables before everyone else finishes setting up.
>>27385813
>that one anon who was adopted by Discord and no one has seen in weeks
>that one anon who just follows Applejack and calls her "background pone"
>that one anon who is desperately trying to learn magic from Twilight
>that one anon who is trying to recreate a technological civilization because he misses online porn
>that one anon who is trying to come up with evidence of seaponies
>that one anon who obviously stopped watching the show and has no idea why Twilight is an alicorn
>that one anon who writes books under the pen-name of Write Fag and actually isn't doing terribly
>>27395632
After this scene, I've gotta go again, but will be back later today. No etas.
Act 2, Scene 14
>You are Anon, but they should call you Hercules with all these fucking errands you've been tasked with.
>It's not that there was anything particularly difficult about any of these assignements, aside from getting that stuffed shirt at the Café to give you the salad, it's that you had to navigate the town while the entire center block was cordoned off.
>You had to take the long way around everytime, since all the locations were listed on the opposite side of town from eachother.
>If you were able to walk in a straight line to every place in order, you wouldn't doubt it making a pentagram or whatever the pony symbol for summoning a demon is.
>That Rarity is a real Succubus, adn if you didn't hate her so much, you'd think her plan was genius.
>'Hey, that reminds me of that greentext where Rarara hatefucks a guy!'
>Shut up, Lewd Thoughts.
>Aside from the proximity of love and hate in the brain, you've completed all but one task.
>You skipped this one because it'd be difficult to do with all this crap in your hands.
>So you stroll up to the door of Carousel Boutique and knock.
>"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, how can I- Oh, it's you."
>She doesn't have the same amount of hatred as earlier when she says that, just lachrymose surprise.
>You move past her and start putting down bags.
>"What are you doing back so early?"
First off, how could you time my movements so to have an approximate time of arrival without knowing if I could exceed these measurements. The only explanation is you wanted to waste my time. Hold on, I'm not done. Second, I am bringing these items to you, as they would impede me from retrieving your fabrics from the train station with utmost expediency.
>"...Are you mocking my demeanour, Anon?"
Oh, by no means my fair lady. I am simply raising myself to your level of loquaciousness so as to, uhh
Cont.
>>27395785
>Shit, your blanking, what's a better word for tell? OH!
Better Relay information to you.
>Caught yourself right good there.
>Miss Marshmallow is unamused.
>"I'm Sure. Well, then there's no need for you to be here any longer, the quicker you get my fabrics the quicker you get your jacket. Tata."
>You are once again escorted and shut out.
>You feel a thousand tiny pinpoints prickle over your skin, as the crowd stares silently.
>Fucking Waifufags.
>>27382176
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONEHighlander-style showdown for who gets all the waifus.
>>27382309
bump
>>27395920
Bump
>>27396224
Bump
>>27396668
Bump
>>27395792
Act 2, Scene 15
>Be Keith.
>Remember Keith?
>He's the Bellhop for Anon Acres.
>As such, he has an actual job to do from time to time other than tend to Jackson.
>For while he calls himself the Bellhop, he is also the Repairman, Housekeeping, Room Service, and Chef.
>Some other guy worked as the Janitor a while back, but all he did was harrass everyone, so now the rule is 'Clean It, or It Stays Dirty.'
>You've rigged a unique setup for each apartment to alert you with anythng they need, as Equestria lacks the technology for telephones yet.
>Well, some will argue they have phones in Manehatten, but you're not in Manehatten are you? So what's to you?
>Anyway, back to the system. Using a series of tubing, and some non-precious multicolor rocks, now apartment 17 can alert you to a toilet leak by using a blue stone, apartment 28 can ask for a menu by sending a red stone, and apartment 5 can get of his sorry ass if he wants to report a broken tube.
>Currently, you;ve already fulfilled all these tasks, except 5's tube since you'd have to go out and get more and you can't abandon your post. Plus, how would you get a tube anyway? You don't get pai
>That thought is interrupted when a yellow rock falls into room 33's slot. They need a new candle.
>You grab a candle from the utilities cabinet under your desk and head upstairs to deliver it.
>>27397428
Act 2, Scene 16
>Be the Anon in room 33.
>You've been working on a masterpiece of a thesis that's sure to get you into Starswirl's School for Gifted Unicorns.
>Arguing that Humans, while not magical creatures themselves, have a propensity to learn magic easily and that if you were to be enrolled you could likely create something, quote, Similar in construct to a unicorn's horn without the unicorn attatched, while stil functioning, end quote.
>Basically, you're saying you can make a magic wand.
>However, in the middle of your third paragraph, your candle unexpectedly went out.
>You take your bag of marbles and the chart explaining what each color does out into the hall to find which one will bring up a match or something.
>Upon, finding the appropriate color, yellow, you head back into your room and send it down the tube into the walls.
>A few moments later, the Bellboy knocks on your door.
Enter.
>He tries to open it, but bashes into the door.
Oh dear. Sorry, forgot to unlock it.
>"Yeah, whatever, here's your candle."
Candle? No, I requested a light. My candle is fine, it has merely gone out.
>"What? but you sent down a yellow marble, that means candle."
I thought it meant 'My candle has gone out'?
>"No, it means your candle has Run Out. Red is for Fire."
But my room's not on fire.
>"No, not ON fire. FOR fire. If your room's on fire, you can send down the orange rock. But if your room's actually on fire, it'd be better to just leave your room. These walls are so thick that if an inferno burns out room 7 completely, rooms 5 and 9 wouldn't even feel warmer."
Right, while I thank you for the lesson in Marble Ettiquette, this does not solve my burnt out candle conundrum.
>"No problem, I'll just go get you a matchbook. In the meantime, keep the candle for when the other one does burn out."
Thank you.
>He walks back downstairs and you shut your door, once again sealing you in darkness.
Cont.
>>27397440
>You decide to open your curtains to capture the last of whatever sunlight is left, and see that it must be at least 6o'clock by now.
>And also that something particularly exciting is happening in the town center.
>But this is none of your concern, as soon you will be in Canterlot. Learning the ways of magic, and winning the heart of Moondancer.
>Moondancer, how she makes your heart soar.
>>27397443
Act 2, Scene 17
>You, that is you being Keith (the Bellhop), arrive back at your desk and go to grab that matchbook when your hear the familiar clunk of a marble settling in its slot.
>Pocketing the matches, you see room 42 needs-
Popcorn?
>There is no marble solely for popcorn, but instead a popcorn kernel in the tube's slot.
>These fucking Anons, polluting your alert system.
>You're gonna go up and give that bastard on the Fourth Floor a peice of your
>You stop and look back.
Fourth Floor? This place doesn't have a fourth floor.
>Upon closer inspection, you see the words 'Honeymoon Suite' in incredibly small neon lights below the 42.
What the hell?
>The neon is in fact hot to the touch, as most light fixtures are, but it makes no sense. Equestria doesn't have elestricity. Hell, they use magic to put broadcasts on the radio.
I guess 33 will have to- Wait, what am I saying? I'm gonna pass his room on the way up anyway.
>After a short pitstop to drop of that guy's matches, you turn to what was formerly a blank wall, but is now a set of stairs with that garish movie theater pattern carpeting.
>At the top of the steps, stands a menacing figure whose face is cast in shadow.
>You start to walk up the steps, and find yourself repeating the same three over and over.
>Could this be the work of an enemy stand?
>Nah, that'd be stupid.
>You start running up the stairs, but the staircase stretches out in front of you.
>You start hearing music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wp3rzAdwT8
>You stop, and are assaulted with images of parallel universes.
>Suddenly, you are at the top of the staircase.
>Looking back down you see the third floor, only 14 steps away.
>You turn back around to the three rooms on this floor.
>40 to the left, 41 to the right, and 42 straight on.
>You consider getting a feeling so complicated, but figure that's enough JoJo for right now.
Cont.
>>27397445
>You take the last couple steps, and knock on the door.
>It swings open, and inside is that same silhouette.
>But there's something familiar, something not human.
>"You're next line will be 'I don't get paid enough- wait I don't get- we already said enough with the JoJo!'"
And with that, I have posted all I have done so far. I'm tired of working against the clock, having only 20 minutes to write each scene. I'm gonna work on the next couple of scenes privately, then post Act 2 on the Pastebin.
>>27397445
I got a good kek out of that
>>27393689
Sorry I fapped to orcs in /aco/ last week. Not due for another until next April.
>>27397445
I know you're doing the whole 'Act X, Scene etc' schtick to help keep track of your story and organize it's scenes but would you mind not doing that? It messes with the flow of the story seeing that shit at the top of every post.
Decent story so far
>>27385813
>>27385837
>>27385947
>>27386950
>>27387714
>>27395638
>that one anon who accepts those anons for who they are and loves them, quirks and all
