Instead of trying to come up with some long winded, snappy thread title can I just scream for three paragraphs?
No? Fine.
Welcome to Spicy Quest! A quest that started as a bad joke and is looking to end on the same note.
You are Horsey McGee and you lead a pack of ravenous travelers as they try to figure out what the hell is going on.
Last thread a cripple beat up a priest! Doesn't that sound exciting?
Archive:https://www.anonpone.com/spicy/
BIG WAIFU
>>27299371
>>27299423
>>27299465
>>27299563
>>27299605
>Hastily jumping into action and using the little about of horse psycology you learnt in shool you attempt to talk the wild horse down.
>You lean in close enough to him to make everyone in the room a little uncomfortable and whisper sweet nothings in his ear.
>Really it's just that song your aunt used to sing to you when babysitting about friendship and "calming the fuck down"
>Hey those were her words.
>It seems to work as the horse begins to stop hyperventalating and just kinda whimpers to himself.
>One of the guard begins to walk back up to him with shackles again.
"You don't have to do that, really. Just ask him nicely. He's a good boy, just... not all there, y'know?"
>"Err, will you please come with us?" The guard asks unsurely
>The work horse looks to you, a sad expression on his face.
"Go on it's okay, that captain smells even better than us"
>The captain then shoots you a glare as the prisoner begins walking towards him with questioning sniffs
>Seems your work here is done.
>Angel let's out a loud, tired sigh.
>"Okay! Where are we going now?"
"What?"
>"Well I figure after all that stupid bullshit we have some time to actually have some fun. And you DID say you were gonna take me out on a date soon. So where too hot stuff? Don't skimp on my either, i'm a classy broad I deserve the best."
>>27362094
>Spicy is back.
Aww yissss.
>>27362107
Wrasslin seemed like a good choice.
Then we could make dinner for her after riding herback home because she can fly.
>>27362107
Do they have laser tag in horseland? If so we should go eat whatever fast food they have around there and play laser tag. Then we could go see a movie. That's what classy mares like right?
>>27362222
quads demand laser tag. She's too big to miss!
>>27362222
>>27362237
>>27362174
>Let's see, what DO classy broads like?
>You've never had a date that didn't have the low standards associated with middle school.
>Well, there's fine dining, yacht parties, stockholder meetings and laser tag.
>Hmm, laser tag seems like the only one you could do at this time.
>"Aw fuck yeah Laser tag! Now this is what i'm talking about."
>The two of you walk into the inconspicuous shop on the side of the street.
>The inside is painted a space age black and there is neon signs everywhere.
>You pay the 20 bits admission for the two of you.
>Angel come back from the counter with an especially greasy slice of pizza in her mouth.
>"Mmm, you want some?"
>Alas, your years of culinary work have spoiled you. The mere sight of the pizza makes you nearly wretch but you politely refuse.
>Suiting up and entering the arena you see Angel positively bubbling with excitement.
>"Yes, yes yes yes yes."
>The door drops and you're greeted to a huge, fog filled room.
>Techno music blares making it hard to hear much while laser blasts from the various opponents flash across the room.
>Angel jumps right in.
>As soon as she enters the UV light though a glaring flaw comes into play.
>It seems her mane and fur colours react a little with the violet rays, she's positively glowing.
>"Yeahah, come get some punks!"
>Her enthusiasm is cut short when she sustains a focused laser blast in the center of her suit.
>"Hey not fair I wasn't ready yet!"
>Some colt in the back shouts "Try harder scrub! Your giant butt is basically a huge target."
>Another blast strikes Angel and she takes that as a cue to awkwardly dive behind some cover.
>She tries firing at a filly in the back, but the unicorn dodges.
>"God damn kids and their tiny bodies. I can't tag these bastards"
>You could blast her now and gain a few extra points. But she seems to think you're on her team.
>"Hey grandpa!" a colt shouts as your harness registers another hit.
>What a punk.
>>27362552
We must break these small children. No mercy.
Angel can draw fire, we'll flank them. If that doesn't work we can cheat and use each other as cover to run up to the kids and shoot them.
>>27362552
For now it's you two vs the young punks.
>>27362552
Shoot her right in her big butt
>>27362632Spicy might get lucky and be able to do that later.
>>27362552
There's got to be a big glowing score screen somewhere where that Angel can hide against. Natural camo!
>>27362552
Destroy the punks
>>27362620
>>27362629
>>27362632
>>27362692
>>27362698
>>27362704
>Fuck that, it's you two vs these punks now.
>You dive behind cover with Angel.
"We must destroy these small children. No mercy. Angel, I need you to draw their fire. I'll flank them, then once i get their attention dive behind the scoreboard."
>She nods and throws herself into the action.
>You sneak behind the purple borders and find the kids at some kind of high point.
>You blast them each and run.
>But they're hot on your tail, their short stature letting them squeeze between conveniently placed gaps and hole that you can't.
>You finally find an adequate camping spot and look for Angel by the scoreboard across the room.
>She waves at you, confirming her position.
>But she doesn't see the little bastard filly sneaking up behind her.
>You try to get her attention by flailing your arms, but all she does is wave back and blow kisses.
>You're forced to watch as your best mare is tackled and gunned down by the little sht behind her.
>No time to mourn, the other kids are closing in.
>You and Angel meet halfway, collapsing on the floor.
>"Fuck! What are we gonna do? These little ankle-biters are all over the damn place."
"Well, there is one thing."
>...
>The plan goes into action.
>You charge forward, with Angel in front of you as a shield.
>When you reach them Angel pounces, pinning three of them.
>They cry out as you repeatedly shoot each of them, racking up points while they lay there helpless.
>"Hey that's no fair, you're cheating!"
"Yeah whatever your parents paid for you to come here, I had to pay myself so shut up."
>Soon the bell rings and the lights turn on, signalling the end of the game.
>Angel climbs off the children, who scramble away, sticking out their tongues at the two of you, you swear one of them is crying.
>Your partner just blows a raspberry back at them.
>"WE WON! That was the best. It was so good to squash those creeps. Where to next my soldier boy?"
>>27363014
1v1 me
>>27363014
Wrasslin.
>>27363014
>>27363080
Lock and load.
>>27363014
Put our hoof around her and ask her where two cold blooded colt killers like us should eat to celebrate our victory.
>>27363014
That was such a hilariously petty thing we just did.
>>27363171
This.
>>27363080
>>27363112
>>27363129
>>27363171
>>27363192
"Well I think there is a wrestling championship goin' on tonight"
>"Perfect, but first, now that the place is empty how 'bout a little 1v1? Maybe with a little 1 on 1 after?"
>Just then you see the attendant come in with the sniveling kids behind him.
>You've never been kicked out of a laser tag emporium (what are they even called?), until today that is.
>Oh well, you make your way over to the stadium.
>Hmm not open for another hour.
"Well suppose we have some time to kill, so..."
>You scootch beside her and slip your hoof around her.
>Though you kinda have to stand on your hooftips to reach all the way.
"Where do you think two cold blooded colt killers like us should eat to celebrate our victory?"
>She smirks.
>"Well I saw this ice cream shop about a block away. But I think what i'm really craving is-"
>Her eyelids grow heavy and she leans into your grasp.
>"-Sausage"
>You notice her wing curl around your body pulling you closer.
>N-not in public baka
"L-lets just get some ice cream for now"
>"Sure thing, I need something icy to cool off all this, heat."
>B-but Angel that's lewd!
>You make your way to the ice cream shop.
>Whadd'ya order chap?
>>27363636
Vanilla light cinnamon sprinkle.
Let the lewd licking commence.
>>27363679
Yes.
Eye contact during is mandatory.
>>27363636That lovely height difference.
>>27363679
Sure let's roll with this.
>>27363636
For two.
>>27363679
>inb4 Angel sees it as a challenge and it turns into a competition to see who can more lewdly lick ice cream
>inb4 Angel wins
>>27363679
>>27363700
>>27363705
>>27363706
>>27363764
>You sit down with your Vanilla ice cream with a light cinnamon sprinkle.
>You would've ordered spice cream but these philistines don't serve it, the audacity.
>Oh well, you park your booty across from angel, who's ordered a banana split.
>You start to dig in, awkwardly holing the cone in your hooves.
>It's an imprecise science at best though, so you wind up slipping for a second and getting it on your muzzle.
>A small moan of surprise escapes your lips as you try and focus on lapping up the white gooey liquid running down your face before returning to the ice cream.
>You hear a snort come from Angel's side, the mare is blushing (somehow through fur) and wen you meet her gaze she smiles.
>Only now you realize what you were doing, and immediately realize what Angel's going to do next.
>She starts at her ice cream, maintaining eye contact with you the whole time.
>She traces her tongue around the orbs of ice cream, either not caring that she's getting the dairy delight all over her face or intentionally doing it.
>She scoops the cherry into her mouth, closes and starts wriggling her cheeks around before spitting the stem out on the table in front of you
>You look down, somehow she knotted it twice.
>When you look up you see Angel's already going to town on the banana, allowing her grunts and moans to be heard throughout the shop.
"For crying out loud Angel this is a family restaurant."
>"Ahem"
>The shop owner is looking at the two of you with a stern look.
>"I'm sorry my friend was just-"
>She detaches herself from the banana with a loud pop.
>"Are we gonna have a problem here?"
>Good lord she's even stroking it with her hooves.
>What do?
>>27363928Gold.
>>27363928
I almost want to risk getting kicked out of here too, but this place seems nice.
Maybe get a to-go thing for Angel, and continue teasing her with our cone on the walk home.
>>27363928
Apologize for the both of you and get on out of there.
>>27364018
Yeah, let's not get kicked out of two places in one night.
>>27363928
Bite the banana before she can play with it anymore.
>>27364037
That's evil, let's do that.
T]I think there's good place to stop for the night, see you guys tomorrow.
>>27364127
Great session. Thanks for running.
>>27364127
Night compadre.
>>27364127
night
>>27363928
Audibly unf
>>27364037
And show her how handling phallic fruits are really done! Quietly.
Making all that grunting and moaning and slurping,she must have some pretty unrealistic tastes in porn
beb
Bump it.
>>27364037
This
bump for you
>>27368853
Something went terribly wrong with that crop bump.
bumpa
beb
>>27364018
>>27364036
>>27364037
>>27364051
>>27366459
"I'm so sorry sir, we were just leaving."
>You hastily grab a take out container and exit the shop before legal action can be taken.
>"Man what a dork" Angel says as she takes her banana out of the to-go container.
>Oh no you don't.
>You snatch it from her before she can begin fellating it again.
>It's not even right, with all that grunting and moaning.
>N-not that you'd know how to perform good oral.
"You shouldn't play with your food Angel! I'm eating this banana myself, try being less of a filly next time."
>She looks right pissed, but oh well she had it coming.
>You dive right into the banana.
>Man you've always liked banana's, it's no spicy food, but it's pretty damn good.
>You kinda lose track of time as you're lost in your mind thinking about how much you like having a banana in your mouth, when you come too you've finished it.
>And Angel is looking at you with a dazed star.
>You're not quite sure what that expression is supposed to mean, it almost looks like, I dunno, concerned arousal?.
"Angel you okay?"
>You wave a hoof in front of her.
>"What oh, yeah, we were we doin'. Wrestling right, yeah wrestling. lets get going, unless you had something else in mind?"
Oh man, well alright this is totally my bad, now I know not to run after work.
Well hey it's a learnin' process right?
See you guys tomorrow I guess.
>>27375074
I was digging it, I just didn't have any suggestion past "Hm, maybe if I don't say anything they'll get down to business and fuck?"
Until tomorrow, then!
>>27375081
>rape
Also yeah, prompts still not the strongestmaybe the next cyoa will have better prompts?
>>27375094
It's a common enough thing with CYOAs, the situation seems headed inevitably in a certain direction but the QM feels he has to prompt for action because he knows he'll be yelled at for being "on rails". But some players like myself might be liking where it's going and simply laying low and hoping to watch it "go there" naturally, as certain situations seem destined to do.
It's got to be hard to come up with prompts sometimes.
>>27374930
Yes. The wrasslin.
Hopefully someone shows us some sick new moves for our spice-fu.
>>27375127
It's not so much hoping it'll go there naturally as much as 'yes' is just as uninteresting a thought as 'this' so if there's anything else on their mind they'll be distracted and continue doing whatever else they were doing. New threads and new sessions need strong prompts to arrest attention.
>>27375094
Sorry Spicy, even beingon the other side of the worldmeans being free from work.
>>27374930
Something where we can learn more about her. Wrestling will be as good as any other, I suppose. Angel may be apossessive bloodthirsty date-rapistbut that doesn't mean we can't make her better!And I came in too late to say no
bumperoni
I was promised childish animation, but the only thing I see are still pics.
Concerned arousal bump
beb
>>27374930
I dunno, you certainly looked like you had something on your mind. Is there something you wanna tell me? Let's go see some wrasslin.
Also, later some time tonight there is something I want you to pee on for me. And it's for reasons that aren't as lewd as it sounds.
>>27379254
You lost me at pee bro.
Funny though, bump.
>>27379902
Pregnancy test.
>>27380020
Ohhhh, I'm having a serious case of the dumbshits today, sorry.
>>27380061
's aight, happens to everyone.
bumpa
I want to enter a loving relationship with Horsey Horse McGee
>>27380689
You'll have to fight Angel for that.
>>27380714
I want to become the big mare.
>>27379254
We should just wait until we get back from our date to ask about that.
>>27380780
I think you're onto something anon, then if you had to fight anyone it'd be yourself and you're guaranteed to win!
>>27380854
Yeah good point, I just wanted to keep it in mind. Cause I want to know with more certainty if she's actually pregnant or not.
>>27380878
She seemed really bent on being pregnant though, wouldn't it be safer to have her piss into a container then dip the test into it right after?Because she could just break the test, then we'd have to get another one
>>27383447
Yeah, but she'd wanna know why he'd want it. He could play it off as, being kinky I suppose....
Are we prepared to lie to her about that? Not to mention if she can't handle that not being a possibility, then we got some overarching problems larger in scope than we realize.
>>27380878
>>27383447
>>27383480
Angel should know that's she's not pregnant by the end of the month, if not already. We could just ask her about it again. She hasn't brought it up lately. Otherwise we should just ask her to take the test, tell her we think it's important for the two of us to know.
>>27384138
PS, I don't think we should let it ruin our date, it has to be the first pee of the morning after all. Might as well enjoy the night before brining it up.
>>27384138
she probably already knows and would say she is either way, as helpful as she's been she's not exactly "trustworthy" when it comes to this issue.
>>27384138
But horses don't have periods in the same way as humans, I think. I honestly don't know what they even have for periods, but i know they aren't like people.
>>27384153
I agree.
>>27384184
Yeah, i'm actually worried about how she's gonna take our curiosity. She's great, but kinda psycho. I guess this'll be a make or break moment in the relationship.
>>27384194
can't horses manually abort too? if so that adds more options and issues to the situation.
>>27384207
that sounds like a headache in itself.... we'll find out if she's preg first.
beb
>>27374930
Silly Angel wrestling is gay don't be gay
>>27385481
"Sure, we should totally go see those muscled, sweaty stallions in underwear rub themselves all over each other to establish dominance! Its always more exciting when its in front of a crowd, you know."
The thing about Angel is that we voted that she THINKS we fucked. It's a double whammy because she wants to believe we fucked and she wants to believe she's preggo. Because apparently she's had a huge crush on Horsey and this has probably been the first time in her life anyone's ever given her a chance. Regardless of whether or not she is pregnant Angel thinks she is without a doubt.
>>27385954
SoCUT HER OPEN AND SHOW HER NOTHING'S THERE
Just kidding. Don't do that.
In other news, that Guard Captain's a pretty stallion, isn't he?
>>27386088
Yes they are, very much so.
>>27385954
>the first time in her life anyone's ever given her a chance
>>27385481
what's gay about big strong stallions pressing and rubbing against one another as they fight for the right to be on top?
>>27386088
indeed, we should probably get him a new mug as an apology too when we get the chance.
>>27385954
yes and we should be very careful because of that, she might break our legs and chain us to a radiator if she hears us questioning her pregnancy or thinks we're trying to find a way out of this, need to do so on the downlow though because we don't want to have this become Misery 2: 2 Miserable 2 Spicy.
>>27385954
Heh what a loser
>>27386630
>she might break our legs and chain us to a radiator
I don't think this is that kind of quest.
>>27386630
Which is why we sell it as "making the pregnancy official" instead of just seeing if she is pregnant.
>>27386630
Misery 2: Hott in hurr.
>>27386695
we could just do the hoof in warm water trick while she's asleep with a pregnancy test under the blankets, no need to ask no need to know.
>>27386745
That could get messy, but i like the sneakyness of that tactic.
>>27386750
plus that way if she is faking we can just play dumb while we figure out a plan.
>>27386745
I'd rather be honest and up front about it. We are her boyfriend and future husband to her after all.
>>27386777
Not if she turns out to be irredeemably batshit insane though.
>>27386805
yeah Angel might be a useful asset but she's certainly a time bomb of instability in the long run.especially if she saw anyone as a legit threat to "her" stake on that red hot chili pepper Horsey's packin'.
>>27386805
C'mon, she's been alright. Just be "Hey! I was thinking, how about we make your pregnancy offical? What do you think?" I would assume she'd be all for it.
>>27386832
Do you not remember when she flipped out before? I'm pretty sure Horsey would of gotten hurt if it would of carried on longer. She might be redeemable yes, but it's gonna be quite the undertaking to do so. It already doesn't bode well if we feel like we need to be sneaky about seeing if she's pregnant cause she might flip out or something.
>>27386828
I hope i'm wrong about it for Horsey's sake. I like Angel, but I don't like how much of a psycho she is sometimes. Nor possessive,(even though that can be kinda hot in a way sometimes). Or at the very least he can get her to chill out more,(which might be pretty hard to do cause even qualified psychologists have problems erasing bad behavior like that, let alone if the patient won't cooperate with them).
>>27386885
I want to believe.
>>27386913
Me too, i'd rather not have her gone.
i maek fan art
Running tonight I promise. Here, just so I uphold my end of the deal, you can hold onto my filly Angel Wings until I run.
B-be careful with her though, she's very important to me and I don't want anything happening to her.
>>27388728
Aww what a cute horse. Too bad she get's a bit crazy as she gets older, but that's future Angels problem.
>>27388769
She must've been a little crazy as a filly, she had to get her cutie mark somehow.
>>27388728
How did such a little thing get so big?
>>27388793
Could be, but I personally think the crazy came as she got older, but i'm only guessing.
>>27388806
Diet, and excercise!
What's the upper size limit that Angel can obtain?
>>27388728
For good measure and good faith i'll even let you hold onto my most precious horse, colt Horsey.
Gotta be gentle with this one though, he's extra fragile.
>>27389051
Oh god.
He should be labeled a heart hazard.
>>27389051
Oh gosh, that's almost diabeetes inducing.You make such cute pones Spicy.
>>27388728
Don't worry, we even took Angel to the park. Look, she got a balloon.
>>27389140
whose child did she steal it from?
>>27389166
The balloon used to be yellow...
Keep that in mind.
>>27389166
Some red filly with green-blue hair..uh gave it to her, yea. It was real sweet.
>>27389194
>Red filly
>Green-blue hair
Sounds like she stole the balloon from little Horsey up there.
>>27389051
>>27389194
>>27389215
aww that poor little colt probably needs someone to wrap a warm blanket around him so he can be a safe and warm little spicy burrito
>>27389221
Good point, I'll get out my heaviest blanket, one sec.
>>27389194
Horsey you know that green foal that used to bully you? That was me Horsey I was that foal.
>>27389266And i've been sent here to assassinate you, i'm sorry Horsey but I must do it for the greater good.
>>27389247
My fireman friend loaned me his asbestos blanket. Look how snug he is.
I like to imagine that Mojo's parents used to want her to grow up to be a good girl, and made her study all the time, while wearing large frilly dresses.
>>27389709
That poor horse probably felt pretty stifled growing up.But at least she's cute.
>>27389709
Mojo, no put that down.
No filly Garrey, sad.
>>27390161
>Filly: A young, female horse.
>Garrey: A male griffon.
Garrey is missing a couple of the qualifiers it seems.
Now a fledgling Garrey would be a good.
>>27386913
dick in pooper
>>27390180
Oops right.
Here is, he must be younger than the rest.
>>27390306
Perfect, this means we can totally adopt him.
>>27390605
And hopefully prevent him from losing a limb this time.
Hey, wait a minute, it's almost like these two were made for each other.
(I think they are supposed to be smooching, didn't get em quite close enough.)
>>27390947
Still BIG even when smol.
Piquant
>>27387356
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPOqDShuE2M
>>27375314
>>27375594
>>27379254
>>[A whole lot of other posts]
"Nah it's fine, let's get to our seats. Oh, but before I forget, when we get home there's something I need you to pee on"
>"Ohoho so that's what you're into? Well don't you worry baby i'll be wild and wet for you in any way you want"
"No that's not what-"
>She winks.
"Forget it"
>You pay for your tickets, grab some snacks.
>Angel gets the largest drink size they have.
>It's going to be really awkward to explain to her later that you were talking about a pregnancy test.
>But whatever, that's future Horsey's problem, not yours.
>You take your seats, they could be worse considered you bought them on the night
of the show, you're about a third of the way from the ring.
>Tonight's competitors are the leathercolt, a rebellious stallion with an affinity towards old griffon garb.
>And the Samaritan, the "good guy" so to speak.
>You always thought the whole stage aspect of wrestling to be hilarious.
>Some ponies say it's homoerotic, but what's gay about big, strong, sweaty stallions pressing and rubbing against one another as they fight for the right to be on top?
>Oh shit, the show's starting.
>"I"M GONNA SHOW YOU WHO THE BOSS OF THIS GYM IS" the Samaritan's legendary catchphrase bellows out.
>"FUCK YOU" leathercolt says with all the verbosity and grace he's known for.
>Angel starts squeeling "FUCK HIM UP LEATHERCOLT!" while diving into her popcorn.
>This is pretty tense, the fight goes on for a while, leathercolt laying down a viscous beating.
>But after some theatrics, and the Samaritan tearing off half his costume, he's got leathercolt on the ropes.
>Wew did it get warm in here all of a sudden?
>Angel is visibly distraught, she's all but burned through her food and drink.
>You feel something spill on your back and turn around to see a half drunken mare apologizing profusely while trying not to laugh.
>When you turn back you find angel, gone.
>Where did she?
>Oh shit, she's making her way down to the ring.
>>27392894
Let her go. There is nothing we can do
>>27392894
Oh Horsey, is something wrong? Are you getting a bit hot under the collarI don't know what's going on with that, but if it's insinuating what i think it is, unf.
Go get that crazy mare before she jumps into the ring or something.
>>27392894
we should probably try to sneak out because this is going to get far too intense for a sensitive little spicehorse such as ourselves to witness.
>>27392894Its not the kind of wrestling she thinks it is!
Stop her before she interrupts themake-out round.
Or at least move up to a front row seat
>>27392894
>i'll be wild and wet for you in any way you want
She gets better by the second.
>>27392894
>she winks
Please Angel, not in public!
>>27392894
Fuck, if she interferes were probably getting kicked out anyway. After her.
>>27392894
>agent spectating the match sees Angel in action
>begs her to wrassle in the mares division
>>27393024
I think she'd be more likely to actually try and kill her opponent and that's just a liability begging for a lawsuit to happen.
>>27392932
>>27392939
>>27392981
>>27392986
>>27393016
>>27393024
>Oh no, she's going to get you kicked out of a place for the third time tonight.
>You briefly consider sneaking out, or letting her be.
>But you'll probably get in trouble for this too! You have to do something.
>You rush down the stairs and before she hops on stage you grab her by her tail.
>"Hey what the hell are you doing?"
"Mmph mmhm mhm mh."
>If your moth wasn't full of tail you would've said something like "trying to keep us from getting banned from all equestria you crazy horse."
>But no dice, she just struggles against your earth pony strength.
>Until she starts flapping her wings, lifting both her and you over the ropes and crashing into the center of the ring.
>"Oh what the hell is this now, boss didn't say anything about a tag team match" leathercolt says
>The Samaritan shrugs "Oh well, at least it pays more than porn."
>Then the theatrics start up.
>"Ahaha! A pair of intruders looking to take down my gym? The choir boy I think I can take, but the missus, I don't know if I can handle them alone. LEATHERCOLT! We must put aside our differences for this moment and JOIN FORCES"
>"Only in your deep dark fantasies! But I will admit, they seem like formidable opponents. Alright Samaritan! Together, white and black like yin and yang we form the ULTIMATE BOSS"
>Oh fuck, do you think they'll listen to a well thought out apology?
>>27393228
Challenge them to a banana eating contest
>>27393228
try to not think about them rubbing up against you and forcing you to the mat, then try to diffuse the situation and keep yourself between them and Angel at all times for their own safety.
>>27393241
If anyone's getting piled on by muscular sweaty stallions its Horsey McGee!
>>27393228
Haha, fuck. Well I have a feeling we can't talk our way out of this, but we can try. Start off by saying you were just chasing after your foohardy girlfriend and the both of you aren't here to wrestle.
>Pays more than porn.
You just haven't been employed by the right ponies then.
>>27393228
>Pays more than porn
Does this mean we can find Leathercolt and Samaritan in a porno mag somewhere?
We should get one. It'll be the perfect gift for the guard captain.
>>27393287
we should get it for our griffon friend, I'm sure he would appreicate such a gift.
>>27393301
Would he?.... It'd be interesting to see what he would say, at the very least.
>>27393237
>>27393241
>>27393258
>>27393264
>>27393287
>>27393301
>>27393342
"Nono, please just listen for a second. We're not here to wrestle."
>"I am!" Angel says, rearing to go.
"Oh come on, I was just chasing after my foolhardy girlfriend"
>Angel's guard suddenly drops and she turns to you.
>"Aww that's the first time you've called me your girlfriend."
>Her beaming smile is interrupted by a hoof to the face and a near instantaneous headlock by Leathercolt.
>Angel unfurls her wings and shoots upwards, suplexing him and knocking them both aside.
>You turn to see the Samaritan slowly coming towards you.
>You try to not think about them rubbing up against you and forcing you to the mat, getting piled on by muscular sweaty stallions.
"W-what about a banana eating contest? A cook off? checkers?"
>The Samaritan rears up on his hind legs.
>"Well choir boy, You ain't go tyour guardian angel here to save you now. Looks like i'll have to send you-"
>He turns to the audience for effect and the whole crowd call his catchphrase in unison.
>"-TWO BLOCKS DOWN"
>He turns back to face you and smiles.
>But you know what's happening next.
>>27393454
maybe if you hug him while looking as innocent as possible he'll only pretend to beat you up in front of a crowd
>>27393454
Gentle hugs and cuddles?
Do we have any of our peppers on us? Now might be a good time to use them
>>27393454
Now we must reach into the depths that is our subconcious and draw upon our latent CQC skills. For it is the only way we shall leave here physically unmolested,(assuming Angel doesn't try anything that is).
Or we could just run away, I guess that's an option too. But I don't wanna just leave Angel. Whatever, we'll stay here with her. Wrestling isn't even real anyways.
>>27393469
>Do we have any of our peppers on us?
I know you have the healing bell pepper, and I think you still have a pinch of the blinding chili powder.
But no fire starting griffon spice (and I would hope horsey wouldn't use that anyways).
>>27393508
It's not like perma blind or anything, is it? Cause if it's fairly temporary, we could use that.
>>27393550
wouldn't even temporarily blinding them be something that could land us in jail? especially with a spice that's potent enough to cause permanent blindness in the right amounts.
>>27390121
>>27389709
>>27389448
>>27389140
WITNESSED.
Thanks for the fanart and silly edits, always blows my mind.
>>27390306
Now young Garey and Mojo needs to happen.
>>27393550
Nah, imagine it like a flashbang.
Anyways have a good one, see you tomorrow at a hopefully more reasonable time.
>>27393563
Well you could argue it was for self defense, we did try to tell them we aren't there to fight, and they won't listen. I know Angel is raring to go, but she's a dork and we weren't going there to wrestle. No more wrestling matches with her.
>>27393564
Cool, something to keep in mind.
Night spicy.
What's two blocks down? Why is he sending us there?
Its not his house or anything, is it? We already got one fuzzy night in our memory.Don't want to get him pregnant too, you know?
>>27393454
Sing your way out of this situation. Failing that employ your most devastating move "combat snuggles"
>>27393454
Bah, the great HOT TAMALE is a survivor.
We won't go down without a fight. Grab him while his guard is down and give him the SPICY SUPLEX, leading into the legendary CHILI CHOKEOUT HOLD.
>>27394249
yes, the spiciest of self-defense techniques, by clinging securely to the enemy you ensure that they cannot attack you in any way.
>>27393466
>>27393469
>>27393487
>>27393563
>>27393584
>>27394249
>>27394903
>>27395592
>Shit shit shit shit
>Should you use your spice? Would that get you into even MORE trouble?
>Oh god he's coming right at you!
>Your mind goes into defensive mode and right when he reaches you you grab him in a deep embrace.
"Please please please don't hurt me! I-i'm not a wrestler i'm just a cook, I wasn't supposed to be here"
>The Samaritan whispers you.
>"Is that really the shtick you're going with kid? Okay whatever, could be worse i guess I thought you were going for a religious thing at first. i'll set you up okay?"
>What?
>"OH NO! NOT THE LEGENDARY CHILI CHOKEOUT HOLD!"
>He starts swing around, pretending to struggle while you're just holding on for dear life being thrown in every direction.
>"You bastard! You're just weakening me for you SPICY SUPLEX aren't you"
>He yell before throwing himself backward onto the floor, causing you to land on top of him.
>He's panting on the floor, wincing in pain.
>Oh crap what did you-
>"Come on kid I gave you the initiative I can't do your whole act for you."
>>27396554
continue pleading and hugging close leave no chances for him to act, no fights, only sweet pacifist cuddles now.
>>27396554
Pop a boner and say 'it's only gay if you make it gay'
>>27396554
Spicy fu him now! (just not for real). Comon Horsey your a fun guy, go with it. Give home the double habanro garbanzo blow!
>>27396579
or this
>>27396554
Sit on his face. Then lock your forelegs around his flanks like you're going for a pin or something,(fuck if i know what the hell they do in wrestling).
>>27396586
>Give home the double habanro garbanzo blow!
We're still talking about wrestling right?
>>27396554
Jump from the top rope!
>>27396595
Yes, The homoeroticest wrestling ever.
>>27396666
Careful Mr. Quads, Angel just might get jealous.
>>27396666
Secretly so, they won't even know what hit em. Or poking them in the face, whatever comes first.
>>27396696
What? That's how you wrestle right? With your genitals....it's what my coach taught me.
>>27396739
That's how the pros do it, yes.
>>27396569
>>27396579
>>27396586
>>27396589
>>27396595
>>27396620
>>27396666
>>27396693
>>27396696
>What?
>Oh!
>Uh, okay you're going along with this.
>Okay okay, what is it that wrestlers do to end the match?
>They pin, yes pin.
>You climb off the muscly stallion and head towards the ropes.
>The Samaritan looks confused at first but when you start climbing them he figures it out and gives you a wink.
>Wow it's really hard to balance on top of these things.
>But you stand up on your hind legs, wave at the crowd with all their cheering and booing various unintelligible noises.
>You suddenly realize, you're kinda enjoying yourself.
>Just a little
>Then you pounce, landing square on the stallion's chest.
>He struggles around on the ground a bit before you move in for the kill.
>He's quite a bit bigger than you, so you have a hard time finding a way to nail him down.
>Eventually you come to a solution, you wrap you legs around his neck like in those kung fu movies you adore.
>Ah, but this uncomfortable position has made things a little, awkward for you.
>You just have to not pop a boner, nope no boner at all.
>You repeat the mantra in your head 'it's only gay if you make it gay, it's only gay if you make it gay, it's only-'
>You're inner dialogue is interrupted by a a mumbling sound coming from the horse underneath you and a hoof tapping on the ring floor.
>Hey you won!
>The bell rings, you look over towards Angel
>Oh wow, looks like they had a much more serious time then you two.
>Angel stands victorious over leather colt, but both of them look beat to hell and back.
>"Rod?" the Samaritan asks
>The leathercolt gurgles in response.
>"What the fuck is going on here?" the Samaritan says as he starts getting up.
>"Haha! You guys just got your asses handed to you that's what! I AM BOSS!" she yells.
>A number of security officers start to pool in from the sidelines.
>They hop into the ring and start grabbing Angel.
>>27396935
we should probably try to disengage from the situation, after all I doubt the security and by extension the guard will be willing to listen to how this is all a silly misunderstanding, especially after we already pissed off the captain of said guard earlier and if they figure out where we've been staying they're sure to find Mojo so we definitely don't want that.
Angel can take care of herself and all but right now the last thing that's needed is to fight with actual trained security who are specifically suited for dealing with rowdy types like her.
>>27396935
Damnit Angel. Let's just leave already you freaky lady horse. We've,(mostly you) have caused enough.
>>27397003
Sure let's roll with this. I doubt there is gonna be much room for convincing them this was a misunderstanding.
>>27396935
GTFO spicy. If Angel' s doing a good job of fending off the gaurds, try to hop a ride on her back. Do not be conscerened of any resulting arousal.
>>27396935
Time to leave through the nearest window.
Can an earth pony and an especially strong Pegasus have sex in the air, like high above a stadium. Sorry, unrelated question, don't know where that came from.
>>27397166
We'll probably end up finding out for ourselves soon enough.
>>27397166
if the erf horse is male he would have to hang upside down
>>27397211
probably from watching her and one of the security guards at this rate.
>>27397166
It would provide a nice view during.
>>27397003
>>27397019
>>27397023
>>27397038
>God damn it
>It's all gone bad
>Angel is busy fighting off the guards who don't seem to be super concerned for you yet.
>The crowd is starting to go wild, some small tussles turn into huge brawls in the stands.
>This would definitely be a good time to get going, Angel can handle herself right?
>With no windows to silently sneak out from you opt instead to bolt for the front door.
>But halfway through you feel something grab you and lift you into the air, speeding you along.
>"Leaving so soon?" Angel asks as she rams through the front door.
>The crowd starts to clog up the path behind you, securing your escape from the security guards for now.
>The two of you fly right out of the stadium and Angel takes off even higher into the sky, giving you a birdseye view of the night time city.
"Oh god Angel put me down!"
>"If I let you go now you'd go squishy squishy on the road, we don't want that do we? No it's okay I got you buddy."
>You start to calm down a little as Angle fly's around the night sky.
>It is pretty nice looking up here.
"We can't keep flying around all night, can we please land somewhere?"
>Angel sighs
>"Fine, if you really want to ruin the beautiful moment, where do you want to go?"
>>27397454
Let's go to that bar with the rainbow neon sign
>>27397454
probably not straight home on the off chance someone followed, maybe to the hospital? I seem to recall trying to get a prosthetic for Garrey.
if not we could always look for a night market or something and see if we can't find some good spices.
>>27397454
...a bathroom.
After all that excitement, we don't want to have to go at an inconvenient time, right?
>>27397477
of course, the bars with rainbow signs always have the nicest stallions, they'll even pay for your drinks and say nice things about you.
>>27397454
Fly meTOO THE MOONHome.
>>27397477
>>27397492
Oh no, not doing that again. Ended badly last time.
>>27397454
Let's go home Angel.
>>27397454
Darn it Angel... you cause trouble everywhere we go.
>>27397454
How about a romantically cancelled hillside, with a view of the town.
>>27397454
Somewhere where we can appreciate the beautiful moonlit night safely. On the ground.
A nice hill side or something would be fine.
>>27397477
>>27397480
>>27397481
>>27397492
>>27397496
>>27397514
>>27397559
>>27397570
"A bathroom, Look there's a bar right there, the one with the rainbow neon sign."
>"Oh no, not doing that again. Ended badly last time."
"Please? We shouldn't head home right away, someone might follow us, and nothing else is open this time of night"
>Angel sighs.
>"Fffine, I was hoping you'd say 'romantic hillside or something but whatever"
>She begins her decent towards the street and drops you on your hooves nice and gentle despite her sour mood.
>"But you don't go out of my sight, okay?"
"Angel, what did We say about trust again? Besides you can't go inside he men's room."
>"Fuckin' fine, just hurry up alright?"
>The two of you trot inside.
>You start hunting for the bathroom while Angel parks herself at the bar and orders a drink.
>Man this place is giving you deja vu, it is weirdly similar to the last bar you were at.
>The bar that's gone now.
>You run inside and do your business.
>While you're washing up you hear two stallions enter chatting.
>You can't help but eavesdrop naturally.
>"Oh man, after tonight I need a good hard drink."
>"Tell me about it, glad they let us go right away, i'm too sore to deal with any investigative bullshit tonight."
>Their voices sound so familiar.
>You look into the mirror briefly and see them walking by.
>Oh god, it's them!
>Leathercolt and Samaritan.
>Damn it all.
>They haven't noticed you yet it seems.
It's work time. See you guys tomorrow, or hell, maybe tonight if i'm not totally drained. I have tomorrow off by the way, so should be a good long run.At first I was afraid of alienating people with gay stuff, but you guys dove right into the homoeroticism in a situation that I honestly wasn't planning on having it and that's hilarious.
Have some horse.
>>27397911
Heh fagtrons,(not that there's anything wrong with that). Keep inconspicuous and slip on out of there. Angel is waiting afterall.
>>27397956
Cute horses~I revel in gay pony along with straight pony too, so that suits me just fine.
Later spicy!
>>27397911
Eavesdrop in in them? We could find out if its safe for us to be here. We don't want to get in more trouble. What's the worst they could get into in the stallion's room? Even MORE homoeroticism?
>>27398308"Oh no, your horsedong has found it's way into my mouth, whatever shall I do?"
>>27397911
flip over holy do-rag so the sun symbol isn't visible and wear it around your neck, maybe they didn't get too good a look at you but other than that play it nice and casual and try to carry on like you belong in this lovely bar.
>>27397911
>>27398803
Good point, in fact, just put it in one of your horse pockets.
beb
bump for you too
Homoerotic bar wrestling bump
>>27397911
Poof up and deepen your voice
>>27397911
>>27403324
don't forget to take off or at least re-purpose the holy handkerchief on your head to something else and change your manestyle to look just different enough (but still stylish) from a distance.
>>27403324
>>27404013
Its like you WANT more ponies hitting on us.
>>27405460
>Not wanting Horsey to be Horselandias' #1 stud
>>27405460
>>27405469
Horsey can't help that he's desirable to all genders and races.though he seems to be more a fan of the man at this point.
>>27397974
>>27398308
>>27398803
>>27398912
>>27403324
>>27404013
>Gotta think fast.
>Your mind's rolling around at the speed of sound.
>You quickly take off your bandaner, flip it so the symbol is no longer facing outwards, and tie it around our neck.
>If only you had a horse pocket to put it in but stallions aren't born with those.
>You run your wet hooves through your mane just enough to change its look.
>And for a final touch you try and puff out your chest, making you look a little bigger.
>You keep your head low so they don't notice you as they walk into a nearby stall.
>"So how're they gonna find those punks anyways?"
>"Don't worry about it, the match was being recorded they'll nab them in no time."
>Oh no.
>"Oh no, your horsedong has found it's way into my mouth, whatever shall I do?" Samaritan says in his stage voice.
>You take this as your time to leave.
>You exit the bathroom into the bar.
>The music is blaring, the lights are dim and the air is humid.
>You struggle through the crowd to get to the bar.
>You find Angel sitting there at the bar half way through her bottle of vodka.
>"Oh, heeey Horsey, y'know this place ain't too bad, they got half off drinks tonight." she says before letting out a small burp.
>"Ahh there's only few better ways to end a good night than with a gud stiff drink. Might need a designated flier at the end of the night though haeheheah."
>She's not piss drunk but she's pretty inebriated.
>What do?
>>27406055
drink lots of fireball shots, with each shot try to improve it to be more spicy than the last, maybe chat up some of the friendly stallions at the bar while doing so, gotta blend in after all.
>>27406055
Leave ASAP. We don't need Angel more drunk or those stallions finding us.
>>27406055
Get her out of here. Grab the bottle though.
No point in wasting good alcohol.
>>27406055
Yeah, let's escort her out. She doesn't need alcohol giving her more reason to be a bit mean and spontaneous.
>>27406055
Oh shit is that a karaoke machine
>>27406122
yes, we need to salvage this night with karaoke and shots
>>27406055
GET OUT OF BAR. Tell Angel you want to give her something spicy, somewhere else. Slap her ads if she needs motivation.
>>27406200
Ass not ads.
>>27406200
B-but, karaoke...
>>27406200
man we've bait and switched her with that so much she's bound to be wise to it by now.
>>27406200
>Ads
Need divine protection? Well look no further! Angel Wings has got your back! (Chilli peppers reccomended but not required)
>>27406219
That's true, just tell her we want to do it, still slap her ass.
>>27406206
We can sing on the way home, we don't need to wind up in jail.
>>27406238
I'm honestly surprised she's not starting to feel like we treat her like an idiot with all the misdirects, and we've only been on her good side so it's a good idea to not press that card so much.
>>27406200
>Slap her ads
>>27406205
I like slapping her ads more.
>>27406251
I've been thinking she just (correctly?) thinks we're nieve.
>>27406277
after the hours we spent thinking about Garrey's cock in the ruins? I'm starting to think Horsey isn't as innocent as he acts.
>>27406277
Horsey's not naive.He's just plain stupid.
>>27406068
>>27406077
>>27406091
>>27406108
>>27406122
>>27406128
>>27406200
>>27406248
"Angel we need to leave right now, it isn't safe here."
>"Now see, that's what I was thinking at first. But do you know what solved that problem? DRINKING."
"Drinking made it safer?"
>"No drinking made me stop thinking."
>She pours herself another glass.
>There's no time for this shit, you grab her by the hoof and pull her away.
"Angel, I'll give you something REALLY hot and spicy, somewhere else, anywhere but here."
>"Haaha, i'm onto you. I know you're not talking about your PENIS."
>She says that last word really loud, ponies start looking.
>You pull her again, taking her out of her seat.
>"Ah, b-but they have karaoke!"
"We can sing on the way home! Now get!"
>For emphasis you plant a firm smack on her hindquarters, eliciting a slight whinny.
>"Oh well I do declare Mr.McGee I do believe you've convinced me. Ta ta barfly's, my beau needs me."
>She starts towards the exit.
>Ugh
>You look at her unfinished drink and her half bottle.
>You knock back the drink and take the rest with you, gonna be a long night you'll need it.
>"Alrighty, right. Where is this 'anywhere' you were talking 'bout?"
>>27406376
To the arcade
>>27406404
Sure why not, I like that suggestion. But if she causes anymore trouble, we're going home. Should go home after that anyways.
>>27406376
That deviant, being into being smacked on the butt like that.I totally understand.
>>27406376
Let's go home!
>>27406376
I think Angel would chill if she got laid, I wouldn't even be surprised to find out that she's a virgin. She talks smack like one. Anyways, I vote for the romantic secluded spot again.
>>27406526
Or here
>>27406499
>>27406526
That's gay, and papa McGee didn't raise no faggot. In fact I don't think he raised us at all
>>27406376
to the secret night market to buy the spiciest and most elusive spices known to equine kind...and meat for Garrey.
>>27406526
Is it time for le romantic hillside scene?
>>27406609
no, that's sappy and romantic and like>>27406563
said Pappy McGee didn't raise no faggot.that's why we've been almost magnetically drawn to gay bars at this point.
am I the only one that's worried a nasty surprise is waiting for us at Nutmegs/home. We haven't seen Mojo in a while, and we know the cops are looking for her
It's why I have been suggesting hillside
>>27406563
>>27406627
Seems a little out of character for Horsey.
>>27406641
actually we should probably try and find Mojo, she's probably good at knowing what to do in this kinda situation.
