Previous thread: >>27197835
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Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
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>>27215081
Coulda sworn this was Pregnancy General.
>>27215081
thats a highly pregnant pegasus pony
You know, with herds, Tenchi Muyo is practically a romance novel from the equestrian perspective.
>>27215133
>Tenchi Muyo!
Isn't it a romance nvel from human perspective already?
>>27215150
Nah, it's harem wish fulfillment. Romance novels are (usually) monogamous.
>Anon isn't coltish enough
>Twilight decides that it would be best if he spent since time with a few stallions
>Sends Anon out for a colt's night out with a few local stallions
>Anon gets them all laid
>Whether they liked it or not
>>27214773
Cool Uncle Anon would be fun.
>he lets the CMC have a sip of one of his beers.
>they still get blackout drunk because ponies have low alcohol tolerance compared to humans.
>>27214961
This
>"Yeah guys, this total wimp just came again into my pussy, I'm raping him as I type!" She wrote the words while the bright screen flashed with more and more posts calling her out on her bullshit.
> Responses came to life as they updated to her post ">2016 >raping men >Ishygddt" "Lol sure you are faggot." "I want to be the human boy!" "I'm new and what are humans?" She simply sighed and rubbed her tired eyes.
>"I swear to Celestia, the little faggot is moaning for me to let him cuddle with me. What a slut!!!" The words appeared faster than her mind could type. In the end it had gone from novelty to habit, but at least it was a habit that made her feel loved.
>She rubbed herself against the custom made Pegasus seat that allowed her a wide range of comfort and movement, of course the only thing it didn't bring was the comfort of a human boy who would lovingly cuddle with her.
>"Stop lying you shitty bird horse." "does anyone else hate cuntboys?" She smiled tiredly as they appeared. These people were her only friends after all, she couldn't leave them even if she wanted to.
>She typed one last response anyway, just because she wanted the last words. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little unicorn? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class..." She knew it was petty of her but fuck them anyway. She clicked enter and sent it on its way before turning of the monitor in her room.
>She was vaguely aware that she hadn't showered in several days and that her mother was about to stop paying for her electricity if she didn't find a job. The dark room was covered in broken dildos and comics where ponies found loving human boys to cuddle with. She wanted that so badly.
>"I'll go out tomorrow, I'm not a loser... Someone is bound to love me eventually." She wiped away a tear as she repeated the words she had told herself so many times before.
>>27215215
>This writing style
>>27215188
Teach them swear words. Lots of swear words.
>>27215305
"Time for bed, Sweetie Belle."
>"But dad! It's only 9 o'clock! Bedtime is such a double nigger."
>>27215387
"I thought I told you not to say that, you little shit."
>>27215387
"That's bed time is FOR double niggers, you little faggot. Now go to bed so I don't regret letting you have extra dessert tonight"
>"*tiny filly scrunches*
>>27215425
>Sweetie Belle is addressing Anon
>Calls him dad
Is there some kind of secret infidelity going on between Anon an Cookie Crumbles?
>>27215387
>>27215400
>>27215425
>Anon's kids are all just as foulmouthed as he is, but are otherwise well behaved.
>parents are horrified at the bad language
>>27215448
I'd read it.
>>27215448
That's just Sweetie's fetish.
>>27215448
>>27215455
>>27215460
>You are Anon, and you've been in Equestria for nearly ten years.
>You were VERY surprised at how quickly you lost your "trans-species sex is icky" thing.
>You learned something about yourself that day.
>A few months after your first horse dicking, you learned ANOTHER thing about yourself.
>And that's that you can make horse-babies with your human sperm.
>You mostly found out because almost all of the mare's you'd fucked were now pregnant.
>Oops, right?
>You made friends with their families so that you could be there for the births, which you thought wouldn't happen.
>Being there, you mean.
>You hadn't really grown wise to the whole, "women are men and men are women" thing quite yet, and you were worried that the doctors and shit would think that you being there would be weird or like a sex thing for you.
>Yeah, you've heard the stories from back home.
>Pro-tip: doctors are pricks.
>Anyway, you've been named "godfather" to most of your illegitimate children, and you try to spend as much time as you can with them without coming off as creepy.
>You don't actually think that you'd be arrested for filly fooling, but you can't take that risk.
>Not where your children are concerned.
>As far as the town is concerned, you're basically an eccentric spinster who likes taking care of foals.
>Most of them probably think that they're your "substitute foals" because, as far as they know, you can't reproduce with a mare.
>It keeps you out of the spotlight, so they can believe whatever they want to believe.
>You'd taught Sweetie Belle, your beautiful 8-year-old daughter, how to swear for a laugh.
>She immediately turned around and called you a "double-nigger".
>You'd never been so proud.
>Lately she's taken to calling you "daddy", which is disconcerting.
>Unless her mother caught wise and told her, Sweetie shouldn't know that you're her father.
>Judging by the sensual looks she's been giving you lately, you're starting to get worried.
>>27215526
Is he Applebloom's father too?
Scootaloo?
Diamond Tiara?Every single filly and colt in Ponyville?
>>27215554
Not EVERY colt/filly, almost-quads. Just pick five or six foal's names from a bag and he'll be their daddy.
>>27215560Five out of every six filly/colts?
>>27215554
>>27215560
Sweetie Belle
Scootaloo
Dinky
Silver Spoon
The Cake's children b/c FUCK mister cake
>>27215593
>FUCK mister cakeBut why?
>>27215609
Its not like their his anyways.
>>27215609
He already knows that the kids aren't his. Remember that desperate look on his face when he tried to explain genetics? He's a drink that's 1/4 full that you don't feel about throwing away b/c there's barely anything left.
>>27215622
>>27215627
Plz no.
He's one of the nice stallions in Ponyville.
>>27215650
When do nice guys get anything?
>>27215650
That's only because he wants to believe that his life is good. If he smiles hard enough, the maybe he can pretend that things aren't so bad. If it makes you feel better, he secretly beats his wife. Nopony will ever believe her b/c husbands can't abuse wives.
>>27215680
>>27215695BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>27215739
>>27215695
>>27215680
>>27215650
>Cup Cake's infidelities are basically an open secret in Ponyville.
>most ponies know about it, but never bring it up in public.
There's a reason there's only one mare in the Cake herd. Because Mister Cake still wants to be believe he can make it work.
>>27215807
You know what we need?More stories with Spitfire.
Rainbow tuft a cute
>>27215807
>Cup Cake is Nancy Gribble
Not very RGRE, but I like it
>>27215888
You know what'd be even better? A herd with Spitfire AND Rainbow Dash. Imagine how happy Dash'd be, being in a herd with Anon and Spitfire.
>>27215953
Not as cute as coolest birdhorse's tuft, tho.
>>27215988Now add Daring Do.
>>27215215
Prose is not green; green is not prose.
>>27216100
Bitching about arbitrary bullshit is not conducive to acquiring stories, or to not being a faggot.
>>27216184
Feed back is not bitching; bitching is not feedback.
>>27216025
>Now add Daring Do
And then Rainbow Dash woke up.
>>27216025
we need more cute RGRE birdhorses acting like birdhorses, honestly
>>27215888
>>27215988
>>27216231
>Rainbow Dash, Spitfire, and Daring Do in a Herd with Anon.>Also Derpy.>She feels incredibly uncomfortable when compared with the famous adventurer hero, the Element of Loyalty and the Captain of the Wonderbolts.
>Doesn't know why Anon won't let her off the herd.
>>27216204
Making a pointless assertion that has more to do with "chan culture" than the actual story is not feedback; feedback is not making a pointless assertion that has more to do with "chan culture" than the actual story.
You faggot.
>>27216269
Her glorious butt is too powerful to be unleashed to the world
>>27216280BUBBLE BUTT
>>27216269
>Anon makes her Alpha so that she doesn't feel inadequate around the other mares
>>27216269
>"I want off Mr. Anon's Wild Herd!""The herd never ends."
>>27216319Just like that Fluttershy green prompt Anons want to write and read but no one ever does.
>>27216274
I'm sorry I didn't like your story, anon. I'm sorry it didn't get more feedback. It's not that the premise is off, ponynet stuff can be interesting, but that format just doesn't work for 4chins.
If you're going to do prose: do prose. Do not, however, slap maymay arrows in front of chopped bits of prose and call it green. Convention and formatting have a place and exist for a reason. A half assed combination of greentext and traditional prose looks off, it calls attention to itself and not in a good way.
Now, you can use formatting to help tell a story. Danielewski's House of Leaves does this brilliantly, and in spades. Playing with convention isn't easy and, truth be told, most stories don't benefit from it. The one I commented on certainly didn't.
>>27216269
>You are Anon
>And if she ain't got that wing, she ain't no thang
>Daring mumbles something incoherent into your armpit, curling up further into a ball
>S'alright. You tighten your arm around her and she sighs
>Dash and Spitfire fight over your head every night - you still haven't gotten a straight answer as to why - but their soft tummies are the best earmuffs you've ever had
>But the jewel of your little sleepytime nap club is Derpy
>You feel her shift and sigh
>...hm
>You raise your free hand and she tenses -
>Yeah, she's still awake
>Hm.
>You reach over slowly, rubbing her ear, pushing her head back down onto your chest
>She mumbles something, but you don't get it
>Slowly, you pet her neck.... then her barrel, feeling her limbs splay out slightly
>There we go...
>You let your hand rest on her body, and slowly drift to sleep>Your fingers knead into her perfect ass, the weight of her hips pressing down comfortably on your own
>The other girls fight for your head at night cause your other head's always taken
>You wouldn't have it any other way
***
>You are Derpy
>And you whine softly
>Why won't Anon and the other girls let you snuggle with them?
>You sigh, drifting off into sleep
>Tomorrow, you'll be better
>For them!
>You sleep and are filled with D E T E R M I N A T I O N>....oh!
>You shift in the early morning, humming softly
>Well. Apparently you might be filled with something else soon...
>>27216305
>>27215973
You read my mind. That's exactly what I was going for.
>>27216305
>Worst pone having the fattest of asses.
I am conflicted.
>>27216351
Use this one >>27208744
>>27216434
Apply yourself for a medical inspection, because I think you've got no taste.
>>27216434
Better pones have better asses. Slapping sweet ass rims on a busted ass Toyota Yaris do not a sweet ride make.
Have some respect, anon. Look at the complete package.
>>27216434
>>27216454
She's not worst pone. That honor falls to Tree Hugger. That's some hideous ass character design. Derpy is just meh with a side of fuck no due to her more obnoxious fans.
>>27216485
There are no bad ponies.
Only ponies you prefer less over others.
>>27216500
Ordinarily I would hurl salt and invective at you for that, but for some reason I read that in a Mr. Rogers voice so I'll just let you have that one.This time.
>>27216510
It's ok, Anon. She knows you don't really mean it.
>>27216360
Kawaii desu ne, BNW-senpai.
So, yeah. Cooking is a thing. Might write more for the tidbit in lats thread.
>>27216595
うるせい,このウイアブ.
>>27216533
>Anon is chill with weedpone b/c of her smooth attitude
>Weedpone secretly likes the big green man but knows that he'll never fall for the town's druggie
>>27216642
Poor, little Weedpone.
Continued from: http://pastebin.com/z353QYvn
Remember the plot of this? I sure don't.
Last time: Rarity is a douche
----------
>You are Anon, and you think you've been rejected by a farm animal.
>That was a pretty decent punch to your ego's gut, but it isn't something that you can't recover from.
>...
>Fuckin' beast of burden.
>Whatever.
>It's the next day and it's time for your afternoon coffee at Sugarcube Corner.
>You pass a few familiar faces on your way, but things feel different.
"Morning, Bon Bon."
>The mare in question looks up at you from her catalogue of sweets and looks at you with disinterest.
>"Oh, hey Anon."
"Anything new in stock?"
>"No."
>Wow, okay.
"How's the progress going on your new project?"
>"It's going well."
>Welp.
>Fuck you TOO, candy horse.
>You guess that's the extent of THAT conversation.
>You only make it a few steps before you feel something tugging at your pant-leg.
>Looking down, you see the tearful visage of Lyra.
>She nudges your hand with her snout and you gladly take the hint, running your fingers through her mane and scritching behind her ears.
>She sighs in equal parts contentment and sorrow.
>"We would have been beautiful together."
"We... what?"
>No, seriously; what?
>But she's already gone.
>Gone out of your way and out of your life.
>Come back, please.
>With a vicious glare, Bon Bon abandons her stall and follows after Lyra.
>What_did_I_do.scottpilgrim
>Your trip to the SCC is filled with similar encounters.
>Some ponies are sad when you talk to them, and others pretend that they can't hear you.
>For god's sake, what did you DO?!
>Did you fuck something up?
>Did you commit some kind of social pony faux pas without realizing it?
>FUCKING beasts of burden!
>>27216334
>10 months into Mr. Anon's Wild Herd
>Herdmares are getting hungry.
>>27216749
>"Heya, Nonny."
>Oh, hey, you're here.
>You eye up Pinkie Pie, looking for some kind of indication that she's about to either go teary-eyed on you or otherwise act like you aren't there to dirty-up her presence.
"Sup, Pinks. Could I just get a coffee, please?"
>"Sure thing, Nonneruno!"
>And there she goes.
>Okay, now you KNOW something is weird.
>Normally, Pinkie Pie would tease you about colts and their coffee preferences and offer you sugar and cream.
>THIS time it's as though she didn't see the point in bothering.
>Vexing.
>Something is afoot and you can tell from a mile away that it is BULLSHIT.
>Just BULLSHIT.
>Pinkie Pie returns with your coffee and plants a bill nex-Three bits?!
"The hell is THIS shit, Pinks? When did you raise the price of coffee here?"
>Pinkie just smiles brightly like she always does.
>"Coffee was ALWAYS three bits, Nonny! I only ever charged you one bit because I liked you and wanted to rub my teats all over your chest."
>You
>Wh-
>Hmm.
"S-sure."
>Pinkie goes on to explain to you how rumours had spread about you and Rarity after Cheerilee had overheard Sweetie Belle talking to her friends about what she had walked in on the other night.
>That was absolutely the dumbest thing you had ever heard.
>You're going to do like one of your anime girls, and make Rarity take responsibility.
-------------------
>BAM
>You are Rarity, and somepony just broke into your house.
>Without warning, a pair of arms wrap around you and pulls you over to your fainting couch.
"S-stop! What are you - get off of me!"
>"Cuddle me! Cuddle me right now!"
>...
>"We're dating."
>You didn't ask for this.
The End.
----------------------
The story was always going to end like this, but then some actual look into Rarity's character happened and the story threatened to get deeper than it needed to. Here's hoping it's more well-received than Ogres and Oubliettes' ending was.
>>27216772
>Here's hoping it's more well-received than Ogres and Oubliettes' ending was.
>>27216772
Man, that was shit. You cheaped out on the end, maybe you should take a little break from writing until you get in the spirit again
>>27216463
I've got your complete package right here.
>>27216360
How can my writefriend possibly be this cute?
>>27216454
>Years of government work have softened Derpy's ass to the point where it jiggles when she flies
>>27216820
Space hoers's are bestest hoers's.
>>27216772
This was the second most unsatisfying ending I've ever read in my entire life.
The first was a long running dramatic romance about a distressed and impoverished Scootaloo falling for Anon. Then at the end she suddenly ties him up and rapes him. The End.
I guess "everyone is revealed as a complete asshole and no emotional satisfaction is to be had anywhere," is marginally better than that.
>>27216809
>>27216814
Sorry you didn't like it, friends. But like I said, the plot of the story hadn't changed since the very beginning.
>Rarity tries to seduce Anon
>Fails or is interrupted
>Anon goes around town the next morning; ponies treat him differently, ignoring him or charging him the normal price for goods
>Anon figures out that Rarity is unintentionally behind this
>Anon goes down with the ship and takes Rarity with him
I think getting all feelsy with Rarity at dinner was a mistake and took the story in a direction I hadn't planned. It had never been meant to become less light-hearted than any of my other shitty green. It was the ending (Anon aggressively forcing cuddles out of Rarity) that spawned the rest of the green as a way to lead up to it.
Again, I'm sorry that the ending disappointed you. I write because it's fun, and not everything I write is going to be good.see: coffee burn & my satyr green
>>27216880
If I could go back, I'd have the dinner scene be Rarity trying to contain herself while dropping innuendo all around Anon. It would have ended with Rarity trying to mount Anon right when Sweetie Belle would walk in. Rarity's quick to explain it away as "adult hugging", which Sweetie Belle would share with her teacher the next morning.
If it makes any of you feel better, I can always go back before I decide to write any other green and retcon the shit out of it.
>>27216840Space Booty.
>>27216880
>>27216900
I don't think they are complaining about the plot itself but about it's realization.
>>27216900
In fact, fuck it; I'll do just that. The middle of the story doesn't match the ending of the story at all..
>>27216907the best booty
>>27216910
A little from column A, a little from column B.
Let's not forget that lots of things happened before he got to Rarity's in the first place.
Even if you ignore/change all the stuff about waifu Rarity, there's no way you can just smash the whole story into an abrupt joke ending where everybody is a dick for no reason and expect anyone to be okay with it.
>>27216942
Eventually, Spider-bloke.
>>27216907
That in itself is a fallacy. Flattest booty this side of the Mississippi.
>>27216944
Dammit, you're right. Christ, this is coffee burn all over again.
Fuck the ending; there's green to be had, and it probably won't be shitty this time.
>>27216942
S-Stay away! I-I don't want to write more SpiderGreen!
>>27216956
>>27216947
>deleted post
what is this i don't even
>>27216956
The ride never ends bitch
>>27216948
Cadance is far flatter than her.
>>27216991
>Cadance
>all horn, no flank
Yeaaaah, there's no reason in particular that Shining Armor is attracted to her. No reason at all.
>>27216983
オ-オレのそばに近くるなあ~
>>27217009
Probably that sweet love-crevice between her tight cheeks.
Either way, Twilight has the biggest booty-to-body ration of all of them. It's merely a fact.
>>27217038
Sorry my good sir but I believe ponka does have the biggest ass of them all
>>27217056
Pinkie can't have the biggest butt ifMrs. Cake hold the title.
UPDATE: Fuck what I wrote; it was shit. It's SHIT. I'm scrapping the ending and a good part of the middle-story. I'm going to bed now and I'll decide in the morning what's going to be redone and exactly where I want to take the story. Please pardon my faggotry back there.
G'night, RGRE. luv u 5ever even when you call what my writing shit.
>>27217111
>>call what my writing shit.
I'm drunk.
>>27217115
we know
>>27217142
>>27217030
Plz translate.
Not all of us speak moonrunes.
>>27217115
seriously man that was a pretty shit ending, get your head cleared.
>>27217153
Translation:
"G-Get away from meee!"
Japnon out
>>27217030
>>27217178
...Does this mean he can write that prompt with Asianon with weeb pone?
E̵̡̡̱͚̖̮̭̩̿͆̇̀͗͆͌͒ͧͦ̐͂̾͛͌̚ͅL̸̥̖̬̣͍͕̻͎̼̣̮͖̰̈́͑́̐͜͜ͅḎ̸̱͕̟͈̼̜͇͚͇͇̺̩͆͋̂̓͡ͅR̸ͯ̊̌̑̄̆̽̓̈̅̋ͪ͜҉̦̘͔̙̻̬̥̘̞̺̺ͅͅI̸͔̟̣̭̝̺̳͚̰̤̬̪̣̱ͩ̔̓͌̌̈́̀͝͠T̍͌ͩ̊̍́̉ͯ̎̒̓͏̥͚̼̳͕̤̩͉̼̘͟Ċ̨̍͒̈́̃ͫ̄̽̓ͭ̏̈́͘҉̶̙̗̞̩̟̯͔̗̜̮̹͇̺̲͘H̷̡̬͖̰̣̦͉̗̙̫̦͇͚̱̝̺̤ͦ̀ͬͣͧͦ̒́ͩͫ̑͛̎̂̑ͬ̚̚͢͜ ̺̗̖̠͇̖̦̻̤͈̥͖ͣ̀ͨ͂̎ͨ͑ͫ̋͢͝B̊̊̈ͪ̓̂̾̑͌͏̧̥̪̟̥̝͎̻̺̱̱̦̫̩Ư̱͇͈͕ͯ̒ͥ̊̊ͩ̂͘M̸̐̑ͭ̽͒̾́̉̑͌̒ͭ̈͏͇̪̥̬̭̗͚͈̮͇͇̜͞͡ͅP̧͐͋̋̀̑́́͏̼̫̣̹͈̥̬̞̫͡ͅ
>>27217153
ᐋᑐᕚᒥᐅᑕᐅᔪᖓ
ᐊᑲᐅᑦᓯᐊᙱᑦᑐᖓ
᛫ ᛃᚢ ᛫ ᚪᚱ ᛫ ᚣ ᛫ ᚠᚫᚸᚣᛏ ᛫ ᚴᛁᛚ ᛫ ᛃᚣᚱᛋᛖᛚᚠ᛫
>>27216360
yes
YES
all pegasus herds are the best herds
flocks?
>>27217672
Runes:
JU AR Y FAGYT KIL JYRSELF.
yr =/= asch.
Your runes are bad and you should feel bad.
>>27217683
>all pegasus herds are the worst* herds
FTFY*with the obvious exceptions zebras and diamond dogs
>>27217721
>not liking all those extra soft bodies because of the thicker, fluffier fur they need at high altitudes
>not enjoying those downy soft feathers they wrap around you or lay across your chest at night when sleeping
>not cheering them on as they perform aerobatics and races for you in clear blue skies to watch
>not wanting your warrior-tier waifus to protect you just as you'd protect them
literally a homosexual
>>27217739
Ever tried interacting with the faster birds? Not soft, not soft, mare.
>>27217739
>Not wanting all of that and more by investing in high quality Alicorn herds.
>Plus bigger, more huggable bodies
>horns, cast magic and a bonus erogenous zone
>Significantly more pony ass
You're limiting yourself Anon.
>>27217781
>wanting to sleep with something that can accidentally stab you when tossing and turning in bed
>>27217824
Not if your head is tucked into the crook of her neck.
Also,
>Not trusting your waifu
>>27217824
And that's why diamond dogs make for great partners...right?
>>27217832
>thinking its about trust when she's unconsciously doing it
>>27217824
>not wearing goggles when going to sleep
>>27217838
Safe snuggling techniques
>Not forming your herd with a variety of every pony species there is.
>Earth ponies strong workers and plump cakemakers alike.
>Pegasi, from the most delicate song-bird to the coolest of birdhorses.
>Unicorns nerdy, flashy, and refined alike.
>Alicorns, the pinnacle of magical pony evolution and plot science.>Maybe a Zebra or eight.
>Some immigrant Saddle Arabians.
>Even add some griffons and DDogs
>A pair of Changeling Queens.>And at least one dragon.
Don't need no bed-sheets. Every night I am covered in waifus. That's why futon says Emperor Size.
>>27217866
Here we see a slightly more advanced tactic. By sleeping directly on top of the horn, all danger of accidental poking is mitigated.
>>27217871
And for this anon,relativelysafe dragon snuggle technique. As you can see, there is plenty of room for a cuddle puddle of multiple waifus to spoon inside the ladle that is a dragon waifu.
>>27217885
>SafeSnuggleC.png
>Those scars.
Those better be after-sex scars.
Also, some Anons have eyes to be gored by those beautiful claws right over his face.
>>27217941
That's what the cuddle puddle of other waifus is for. They would protect anon's frail stallion skin with their strong marely bodies.
>>27217952
So are the waifus the ones having sex with the dragon? Because I think the word we're looking for isn't cuddle, it's cuck
>>27217871
>delicate song-bird
would totally call my soft and squishy pegawaifu this
>>27216862
>Alone
Fuck I felt that unsatisfied feel.
>>27215081
>Be new up-and-coming singer in Canterlot City
>Played music on the street corners for cash and exposure
>Spotted by a Unicorn record producer
>Tells you, "You've got talent kid, why don't you sign up at my company?"
>Eagerly accept deal
>After a few weeks of advertisement and song recording, suddenly brought to a popular nightclub
>Shoved into a room my your producer
>The room is filled with big Earth ponies dressed in suits
>Your Unicorn producer tells you that this is part of the job and that if you want to get famous, you better whip it out
>Cry silently into your pillow later that night after wiping off all the fem cum
>You had to walk out of the club covered in it; the Earth pony investors told you to
>Your record sales shoot through the roof the next day
>>27218113
>Sink appears to be leaking, so you hire a plumber.
>Plumber arrives, It's a poorly dressed pegasus, wearing stained overalls and a white shirt.
>You show her to the sink and leave her to it.
>Come back later to see that she's now lying on your couch, eating a sandwich she made from stuff in your fridge.
>Ask her if she's finished.
>She yawns says she's on her break and tells you to chill.
>Start to get angry and ask her if she knows what you paid her for.
>She mumbles something about a pegasus workers union, then burps loudly.
>She leaves at around 6pm, and says she'll come back to get back to fixing your sink tomorrow.
Yo frosty.
That short earlier today was good shit yo. I spite out my milk at the Winona epilogue.
>be Anon
>Meet an old prospector Anon
>Never married
>Never plans too
>But mares have tried to catch him over the years
>He ran and hid from the ponies every chance he got because he refused to be tied down and not dig for gold and jewels
>"Aw heck youngster, Ol' Anon doesn't know about book readin' or how to eat at a fancy restaurant but he sure as heck isn't dumb! Heck, I've been called dirty, lazy, smelly, shifty, kooky, spooky & Chinese but one thing I ain't never been called is dumb!"
>"Them thar mares never got Ol Anon"
*cue geezer laugh and knee slapping*
>Suddenly Anon hears a commotion
>Sees a bunch of older mares try to throw a net over old prospector Anon
>He dodges it effortlessly
>Then watch as the older mares try and fail to catch old prospector Anon as he runs away yucking, his pots and pans clanging together as he scampers off with older mares hot on his trail
>>27217111
Fucking hell. Weren't ur best work but weren't THAT bad. The ending wasn't particularly clear and it didn't match up to the buildup earlier on yeah. But it wasn't badly written and the concept had merit.
>>27215888
Only if Gatorbait wasn't dead.
>>27216772
Wow that ending was terrible.
>>27217111
What you wrote wasn't terrible, I enjoyed basically all of it except this update. I'll expand below, but bear in mind this is just my mind scribblings.
I can't remember why I enjoyed it in particular, but it was good.
The issue with this update is how fast it is, and how little happens in text compared to in story.
Anon goes out, everyone is pissy at him, then Ponku explains everything in one sentence, and then it all gets wrapped up in less than a single post. Compare this to your earlier parts, where things get extended and expanded upon, and I'm sure you can see where the surprise comes from.
On top of that, the ending is a joke ending. It is exactly the sort of 'punchline' I'd expect in a oneshot - something written for a cheeki laff m8. It doesn't mesh well with what else you've written, as even if the rest was comedic, it wasn't this almost slapstick style.
>Reported Speech is when the author tells you that someone said something.
And I'm not entirely sure it works in greentext. Something about green makes me read it at a slightly faster pace than prose - you don't tend to indulge in green, and it's difficult to get purple green.
>Pinkie went on to explain everything
is lazy.
It means you haven't written out the explation, and are just cutting away from the conversation:
>"Anon... Sweetie walked in on you and Rarararara last night! She told Cheerilee, and all the foals overheard, and they told everyp0ne! Not you, because you're not a p0ne, silly, but they did tell Spike. He's almost a p0ne, but he's actually a dragon. He cried like a little colt!"
>Just, what the p0nefuck?
"But we didn't do anything? She made me dinner then threw me out..."
>Ponks strokes your head.
>Then lifts her hooves and touches to your heart.
>"The whole town thinks you're a cuddleslut Nonny... Just take it. Take it like you'll take Rara."
>She starts drooling.
>This is fucking ridiculous
"This is fucking ridiculous"
>You're going to do like one of your anime girls...
>>27218474
Now, I'm not saying that this is better than what you wrote, but it fits the flow better - reported speech takes you from a live-action look at what is going on, and takes you to a commentator after the fact narrating it to you. It is possible to make it work well, but you need more than a single line about the explanation that occurred. You could sum up a conversation between two people though.
>>27217836
My mang
>>27218632
>>27217885
I want to hide inside her body like Luke Skywalker in a tauntaun
>>27218634
She looks so happy.
How would sadomasoquist anon in equestria be treated
Would a mare reveal his secrets because she cant handle it, would they believe her? Or should her not because he is just a stallion
>>27218864
You would be too if you just got fucked and filled by a Human if you were a mare.
>>27219017
Big princesses are nice.
>>27219014
>Sadomasochist anon
Is he the one inflicting pain, or receiving it.
Either way, most ponies think it's weird since tiny horses would usually not find the idea of pain to be a happy experience, specially not a pleasurable one.
The only ponies who will probably be into it is the ones that have it as their special talent, or villainous ones, like Nightmare Moon and King Sombra. Chrysalis seems to have a big, bug hardon for the thing.
If you're asking for the purpose of a green, well Anon might be able to make any pony into one, just for the sake of the green's plot.
>>27219080
>>27216533
>>27216642
We need a green where tree hugger and Anon meets frequently, and Anon constantly makes the little hippie flustered through random actions.
>>27219158
>We need a green where tree hugger and Anon meets frequently
No.
>>27219158
Like what?
>>27219158
The classic hippie girl military man setup?
>>27219186
But wouldn't RGRE make Anon the hippie and Tree Hugger the military mare?
Unless it's written exactly to defy this this setup.
Otherwise it would be more appropriate to use Spitfire instead of Tree Hugger.
Right, sorry about last night. In all seriousness, I don't know WHAT was going on last night. I was carrying towels around the house and putting stuff where it didn't belong and shit like that; I was SUPER out of it. Something better than THAT shit will be coming up as soon as I write it.
>>27219199
You sound like a nerd
I better not catch you in my line of sight or I will bully you, nerd
>>27219199
So ... awesome night, right ?
>>27219205
Plz, no bully.
>>27219210
All the bully
>>27218216
This sounds amazing, the legend of the uncatchable husbando. He is like the leprechaun but with dickings instead of gold.
>>27219205
Bully my nerd and you'll be in a lot of trouble.
>>27219243
Well, well, well what have we here?
Some dork thinks he won't get bullied too?
>>27219199
>I don't know WHAT was going on last night
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfHOQAT0-Mk
>>27219186
>>27219158
Go here: >>27148971
>>27219249
Try and bully her. I dare you. I double dare you, fatherbucker.
>>27219427
I will make her eat dirt, give her a pink belly and pull her mane while you watch
Then I will give you an indian burn and wedgie and laugh at both your tears
>>27216349
Let me try.
>You can hear the birds singing all around you.
>The wind gently rustle the leaves on trees and bushes.
>Their unique song effortlessly mix with those of your little winged friends.
>You delicately fill your lungs with a fresh spring air and sigh contently.
>It's perfect.
>You are Fluttershy and you're a very happy pegasus mare right now.
>Why?
>Because you, Anon and the rest of your herd came to relax to the park today.
>Just like you always wanted, but were too timid to ask.
>Luckily, knowing you like nopony else, Anon did it for you and here you are.
>At the moment the two of you were sitting at the park bench, just basking in the warm sun rays and listening to the little critters living in the tree branches.
>The rest of your herd went to get all of you some ice-cream from the booth on the other side of the park.
>Like always they made a competition out of it and loudly took off, scaring you and all the animals around.
>You love those two with all your heart, but sometimes they're just so n-noisy and restless a-and-
"Eeep!"
>Uttering a very unmearly sound, you felt a large arm wrapping itself tightly around you.
>O-Of course, y-you knew it was Anon h-hugging you!
>He just um, suprised you.
>The stallion in question looked at you with a small smile on his h-handsome futures.
>"Sorry Shy, I didn't want to startle you."
>To this day you couldn't believe that you're in a herd with such a considerate and understanding stallion... or in a herd at all.
"I-I wasn't... scared. I just wasn't um, prepared. Th-That's all."
>Anon delicately ran his hand through your mane.
>When you felt his fingers stroking your head and neck, your eyes almost rolled upwards from the unexpected pleasure.
>"Hmm, why yes. I'm sorry. It's obvious that you're the, how you ponies say it, 'mareliest mare' around. After all, you're the alpha mare of our little herd, aren't you."
>Your ears dropped and you scrunched your muzzle a little.
>>27219728
"O-Only because you say I am, Anon. You know as well as me, that I'm not fit for that role at all. U-Um, please select one of our other herdmares as an alpha... i-if you want to."
>Anon put one of his hands on your flatten ear and gently straightened it with his strong fingers.
>Then he started delicately scratching it with gusto.
"Oh my. U-Ummm..."
>Your stallion chuckled and put his other hand on your chest tuft and started caressing it lazily.
>"But you're perfect to be the alpha, my little song-bird."
>It may be unmearly, but you always loved when he called you that.
>Hence the growing blush on your cheeksa-and the growing heat in your nether region.
>"Unlike those two, you don't act without thinking. You don't live in the moment and actualy plan for the future. You're calm and collected when you need to be and have enough patience to see things through. That's what I like in my alpha mare, Shy."
>Anon started carefully twisting and squeezing your ear just how you liked it.
>You bit your lower lip and felt that your wings began to unfold themselves.
"O-ohh *huff* w-we're in a p-public place, A-Anon."
>He seemed not to hear you.
>"Heck, you're the one who found me in the Everfree almost a year ago! You gave me home, feed me, taught me about your pony culture and all that shebang! If someone deserves to be an alpha mare in my herd, it's you! You just need to be more confident, Shy. That's all."
>Suddenly, he hugged you tightly, pressing most your body to his.
>"Will you at least try to be my alpha mare, my delicate song-bird?"
>S-So that's what you were doing, mister!
>He was showing you a good time, to make your eventual refusal harder and to associate the feeling of pleasure with the words "alpha mare" in your mind.
>You learned a long time ago that Anon is a very clever and cunning stallion.
>N-Not that the other stallions were s-silly and foalish, o-or something.
>>27219731
>Gathering all of your will power you stirred in his arms and looked at him.
"Anon, I..."
>He was making his "begging puppy face" a-and even started squealing quietly like one.
>By Celestia, there was no mare in Equestria who could resist that!
"...I-I'll try."
>He grinned broadly and squeezed you even tighter to his warm body.
"Eeep!"
>"That's the spirit, Fluttershy!"
>You huffed quietly, but then quickly nuzzled his cheek and put your head in the crook of his neck.
>Sensing his wonderful stalliony smell and the touch of his hands on your fur, you quickly began humming happily to yourself and closed your eyes.
>His cheerful voice reached your ears once again.
>"He he, I see "somepony" is pretty comfy up in here! Enjoying the privileges of being an alpha mare, aren't you?"
>You giggled quietly, without opening your eyes.
"Don't be silly, Anon. I know you'd do the same for Rainbow and Spitfire. Actually, I've seen you do it and m-many more a lot of times with them."
>Anon started stroking your back with his hands.
>"Hmm, then we must quickly think of something special for my alpha mare."
>He delicately traced one of his fingers through the feathers in your folded wing and you felt a pleasing shiver ran down your spine.
>"Maybe an exclusive wing massage when we'll be back home will do the trick?"
>Before your wings had the chance to completely unfold from the visions that found their way to your head, you heard the loud, marely voice behind you.
>"Oh, now this stallion knows how to show his mare a good time!"
>When you turned around, you saw Flitter of all ponies, looking at you and especially Anon with half lidded eyes.
>You started to feel extremely embarrassed for some reason and you hid your muzzle in your mane.
>Flitter seemed to not notice you beside Anon.
>"So, how's it going to be, hotstuff? Are you going to ditch that little chicken and let a real mare show you a true meaning of fun in the park?"
>O-Oh she saw you then.
>>27219733
>Anon looked at you, smiled and winked.
>Then, he turned to the rude pegasus mare in front of him, who was busy adjusting her pink bow in her mane.
>"You better watch out, little mare. You're talking to my alpha."
>To her credit, Flitter almost didn't laughed.
>Almoust.
>"Bwwahahaha! She, SHE is your alpha mare?! The moust unmarely mare in town?!"
>She came closer to the both of you and to your greatest horror put a tip of her extended wing on Anon's knee.
>"Please be serious, colt. Is she's your alpha, then who's in the herd with you? The flower sisters? After all, they faint on the spot when somepony scare them a little."
>Anon shook his head slowly at her.
>"Nope and she's really my alpha. You better show some respect while you still have the chance."
>Still hidden in your mane and frightened out of your fur, you didn't say anything and just nodded your head.
>Flitter smiled smugly and grabbed Anon's free hand with her wings.
>"Well then! Miss "alpha", can I borrow your stallion for a while?"
>You felt Anon squeezing your hoof with his second hand reassuringly.
>It gave you enough courage to answer her.
"N-No, y-you can't. *eep*"
>She unceremoniously pulled Anon's hand with her wings and held it close to her muzzle.
>"Oh, don't be like that. Learn to share, sister! Me and my herd don't have a stallion. I promise, we'll give him back tomorrow."
>Flitter lowered her muzzle, almost touching his skin with her lips.
>"He'll be just a little more... happy."
>Without any warning, she kissed his fingers, looking you stright in the eyes.
>Your pupils shrank and your heart stopped.
>There was this long forgotten feeling growing inside you.
>The one you didn't feel since your outburst at the grand galloping gala long time ago.
>The one when you took Iron Will's teachings too literally.
>The one when a dragon almost hurt Rainbow and you used your Stare to teach him a lesson.
>>27219739
>Flitter smiled even wider and you saw a faint trickle of saliva between her lips and Anon's hands.
>At that moment, you stopped suppressing that feeling inside you.
>Before she could even blink, you grabbed her head in your hooves and pressed it hard against your own.
"YOU'LL GET YOUR DIRTY WINGS OFF OF MY STALLION! NOW!"
>Without waiting for her reply, you shoved her away from Anon and jumped on his knees.
>You unfurled your wings to their full extent, to show her that you'll going to protect your stallion like a true pegasus alpha mare.
>Flitter narrowed her eyes and also opened her wings before you.
>Then she loudly uttered a chirping sound, challenging you in a pegasus way.
>You answered her with one of your own and beating with your wings, you puffed your chest tuft up front.
>She may be a better flyer, but you were physically bigger than her.
>Flitter's tail began to swish furiously behind her and she flatten her ears.
>"So this is how you want to play, huh?! Little Fluttershy finally found her courage!"
>Suddenly she squawked loudly and the bushes behind her started rustling.
>From between those came out two more pegasus mares.
>Cloudchaser and Cloud Kicker,who immediately unfurled their wings and narrowed their eyes at you.
>"Let's see how you'll like it when my whole herd's here with me, eh "alpha"?!"
>O-Oh my...
>N-No, Fluttershy!
>You must be s-strong to protect your stallion!
>Clenching your teeth you looked at all o them, still standing on Anon's legs.
"I-I promised myself, t-to not use my Stare against fellow ponies! D-Don't make me change my mind!"
>Your warning seemd to not impress them at all.
>They slowly started to walk in your direction and you decided to hold your breath preparing for the worst.
>Suddenly, you felt Anon's hand on your withers.
>"Easy there, Shy. There's no need to use your Stare. Yet."
>In the corner of your eye, you saw that he produced his special necklace from under his shirt.
>>27219742
>At the end of a green string hanged three big primary feathers and a little silver whistle.
>The feathers were gifts from you and your herdmares to Anon.
>You smiled despite the dire situation you were both in.
>It seemed that Anon was always keeping your special gifts as close to his heart as possible, along with the little silver whistle.
>Spitfire gave it to him when she joined your herd.
>To her unconcealed amusement, he called it "the rape whistle", because he should only use it when he's in danger, or needs immediate help from his herd.
>It was magically enchanted.
>Only you and your herdmares can hear it, even if you're many miles away from Anon.
>Anon put it in his mouth and almoust immiedlietly you heard it's distinct magical melody in your ears.
>Two loud BOOM sounds filled the air around the park.
>The three mares before you stopped in her tracks and one of them looked at the sky.
>"Wh-What was that?!"
>Anon was the one, who answered them with a smile.
>"Oh, you'll know soon enough. Just wait for a 3...2...1..."
>With an earsplitting bang, a cyan and golden blurs landed between you and the hostile herd.
>The ground under the hooves of your herdmares cracked and the air blast threw the three pegasus mares backwards.
>You were saved by Anon, who knew what would happen and quickly hugged you after using his whistle.
>Rainbow, who was pawing the ground aggressively was the first one to speak.
>"Alright Shy, which one of them tried to put her filthy hooves on our stallion?!"
>Spitfire was just looking at the three mares with her narrowed eyes.
>They were pretty scared at the moment and began to back away slowly.
"A-Actually, Filtter used her wings a-and even managed to pull Anon's hand with those. S-Sorry, I let it happen."
>Spitfire's nostrils flared dangerously and she popped her neck loudly like a fly-school bully.
>"Really now?!"
>She quickly stood on her hind legs and did a few amazing motions with her wings and hooves.
>>27219748
>As a wonderbolt captain she was a master of pegasus martial arts and anypony could see that.
>"Once I fought my way through the cave full of feral Diamond Dogs, only using my hooves and wings. I wonder how long it'll take me to beat the three of you to a bloody pulp? Care to check it out?!"
>Rainbow stomped the ground loudly.
>"Hey, don't forget about me, sister! I want a piece of them too!"
>Still backing away, Flitter gulped loudly.
>"I-I think i-it's time for us to go. N-No hard feelings, right girls? I-I mean, it was only a harmless fun a-and... RUN!"
>The three of them took off rapidly in the air and started flying away.
>Spitfire relaxed her combat stance and returned all of her hooves on the ground.
>Rainbow just huffed audibly.
>"Bucking cowards. If I only wanted, I could easily catch them and beat the hay out of all of them."
>She and Spitfire quickly found themselves on the park bench beside you and Anon.
>As fast as he could, he turned it into a big group hug.
>Your two herdmares began affectionately rubbing against Anon, marking him with their smell as a sign for other herds and mares out there that he was taken.
>Of course, he thought that they were trying to comfort him after the stressful situation and started patting them on their heads.
>"Relax girls, everything's alright. Luckily Fluttershy, our alpha mare was here to protect me."
>Rainbow playfully punched you with her hoof.
>"Nice work, Shy. I knew you had it in you!"
>Spitfire wrapped her wing around you and smiled.
>"Indeed, good job, Fluttershy. We must protect our big guy from those other pesky mares."
>Anon delicately ruffled your mane and winked at you with a smile.
>"Yeah, I thought I was a goner when that Flitter mare kissed me."
>Rainbow and Spitfire stopped moving.
>And breathing.
>Your cyan herdmare slowly turned her head to look at you.
>"She.Did.What?"
>>27219752
>Uttering a quiet *eep*, you hid your head in your mane a little.
"Sh-She kissed Anon's h-hand."
>Spitfire's eyes widened and her pupils turned into pinpricks.
>"That does it... she's dead... DEAD!"
>At an untold sign she and Rainbow tried to go after Flitter and her herd, but Anon was pressing them tightly against himself.
>"You see, Shy! Two hotheads! That's one of the reasons why I'm making you my alpha mare for life!"
>Then he turned to the two mares, who were wriggling in his arms.
>"Calm down, dammit! It was just a little peck on the hand! Nothing much happened! Fluttershy made her pay for it enough already!"
>They stopped trying to free themselves.
>Rainbow looked at you with wide eyes.
>"R-Realy? You showed her who's boss, Shy?"
>You felt the heat spreading through your whole muzzle.
"Y-Yes. I-I grabbed her head and p-pushed her off of Anon. Th-Then, I showed her my w-wingspan a-and stood to challenge her..."
>Before any of your herdmares could say anything, Anon grabbed you and lifted you in the air.
>"See?! A true alpha material! I'm proud of you, my little song-bird!"
>Your cheeks just couldn't be redder.
>Without missing a beat, Anon pulled you to himself and kissed you deeply.
>When you felt the texture of his hot tongue on yours, your wings stood at attention on your back, like a pair of royal guards.
>>27219756
>After your kiss ended, you heard Spitfire humming loudly.
>"Hmmm, so those are the privileges of an alpha mare? My, my, now I'm tempted to challenge you for that position, Fluttershy."
>Rainbow answered her from the other side of the bench.
>"Ha! Stand in line, sister!"
>Before you could say anything they both started to laugh and Anon hugged all of you tightly once more.
>"Nope, I don't agree on any challenges. Shy is your alpha, you lovable hotheads, period!"
>You felt the wings of both of them wrapping around you and you wrapped yours around them.
>Rainbow looked at you with a smug smile from under Anon's arm.
>"Alright, so if Fluttershy's our alpha, I have a request. I want to bring a new mare to our herd, but as you all know, I need alpha's permission to do this. Also, Shy shoud test that mare, if she's worthy enough to join our herd. Her name's Daring Do, I'm sure you remember her, she's..."
>You stopped listening after that and just gulped loudly in your group hug.
>Looks like your life as an alpha mare won't be an easy one.
"Eeep."
And that's it. Anyone want a part 2 of this story in the future, or should I just commit sudoku for writing this?
>>27219763
Good shit, Anon. Doesn't seem way too forced. I like it. Also, feel free to write whatever you want, Anon.
>>27219763
Damn, that was pretty good Anon.
>>27219763
Nicely done
>>27219763
You get a thumbs up from me.
>>27219763
Fuck yeah man! Good job.
>>27219763
top cute
>>27219763
You've given my heart an erection.
>>27219763
commit nonogram instead
>>27219763
Good job, fucker. I'd gladly read part 2.
>>27219763
was cute
>The fashionista gives a small titter and nods as she takes a seat on the picnic table, “Hello there Darlings, glad I’m not terribly late, I was hoping to have Sweetie Bell help me with setting up the fabric rolls, but oh the poor dear decided to sneak off before we were done.”
“That's tough, still at least you can enjoy some food, cold stuff is on the table, Applejack and Pinkie went to get some pony friendly grill stuff.”
>”Ah, ahem, Anonymous, I would like to clarify one thing, is that perchance meat on the grill there?”
“...Did any of you listen to Fluttershy when she talks with you or does it go in one ear and out the other?”
>Dress horse stomps her hooves at you, “Now see here, I did hear her I just thought that you wouldn't actually be cooking meat I thought it was merely some new fad of your you had wanted to do!”
“Fine ,whatever it's cool that's why we got the others to get stuff I can grill for you all too.”
>”Yo Anon you still have my hoof ball from last time ?” Rainbow asks hovering above you.
“What the soccer ball?”
>”Hoof ball, but yeah, where is it?”
“Up in the house, in the coat closet.”
>”Sweet, be right back!”
>Watching Rainbow take off with her rainbow colored blur you soon hear the trotting steps of more ponies, “We’re back Anon!” Pinkie cries out bouncing in place.
“Alright, go ahead and bring the dogs over and i can roast ‘em.”
>As you help Applejack unload the saddle bags she used you soon hear Rainbow come out bouncing the soccer ball on her hooves.
>>27220544
>”Awesome, now who's up for a game of hoof ball?”
“You all have fun I’m gonna finish the food here.”
>Applejack gets a big grin on her face, “Heh, that’s right best to leave the colt in the kitchen after all.”
>You simply flip the mare off with a finger as you continue to work, Rainbow and Pinkie giggle while Rarity gives a small sniff of disdain, “Honestly Applejack, must you be so crude?”
>”Not mah fault he plays up the stereotype!”
“Don’t think you’re one to talk about stereotypes, ya redneck hill billy.”
>”Ah buck you Anon.”
>”Yo love birds you two gonna make out or are we going to play? Three versus three!”
>Twilight looks up at that, “I’d rather enjoy my book thanks.”
>”And if you think I’m going to get my hooves dirty you have another thing coming Darling.”
>”Oh stop being a bunch of broskis!”
>Pinkie takes the chance to pipe up, “Rainbow how are we going to do that if Anon’s going to be busy wtih the food?”
“Fluttershy should be coming by soon, no need to worry about that.”
>”Oh yeah…”
>”Relax Sugarcube, Pinkie and Ah’ll play with ya, Twilight, don’tcha wanna enjoy the day?”
>>27220550
>Twilight looks a bit indecisive looking at the book then at her friends, you give her a pet on the head drawing her attention.
“Tell ya what, you let me watch your book and you guys can play, then you can read while we eat. Sound good?”
>”Well…” Twilight hesitates a bit more before you use your secret trick of ear scratchies, “Nnnf~...Alright, fine I’ll play!”
>Hopping up the mare soon goes off to play the game with her friends.
>The rest of the party continues in that vein, relaxing and shooting the shit.
>You’re just about done with cooking the bbq when you hear faint wing beats, two of them in fact.
>Looking towards the sound you soon spot two familiar figures on their way.
>It’s Fluttershy and Gilda!
>Waving up to them you soon begin to finish up the food setting it to the side ready for eating.
>Upon their arrival you notice that something is amiss.
>Gilda looks nervous, smiling with a far too wide smile, while Rainbow Dash and Pinkie regard her cooly.
>Gilda takes the initiative, “Hey, Hey Dash, uh, long time no see.”
>”Gilda.”
>Gilda bristles before she sighs, “Look, can we just bury the hatchet here?”
>”Why because it’d be easy for you?” Rainbow asks her wings still spread wide as she snorts.
>”Rainbow, m-maybe you could g-give her a chance?”
>Rainbow looks ready to spit nails, so you decide to step in.
“Hey, she was invited, so chill Dash alright?”
>Rainbow scrunches her nose up and inhales deeply causing her chest to puff up.
>>27220560
>So you poke her in the chest.
>A puff of air escapes the mare as she tries to hide her giggles, “H-hey stop that! I’m trying to be intimidating here!”
“Stop that, none of that bird thing you do.”
>Pinkie looks between you and Gilda slowly at first before she starts to look like she’s having a seizure when suddenly a pop sounds from her.
>”Oh! I get it, Anon and Gilda are horsemarried!”
>Ponk...Ponk what.”
>Gilda immediately blows her wings up at the proclamation, “Y-yeah! Cu-”
“No, we’re not. Pinkie stop being silly.”
>”Anon!!”
>You just reach over and pet Gilda atop her head.
“No, we’re not, you need to learn boundaries and calm the fuck down. So work on that eh?”
>[Grumpy Griffon Noises]
>”I-I’d think that y-you’d both m-make a good pair A-Anon…”
“Why in the world does everyone want in my pants?”
>Fluttershy blinks and shrugs, “W-well predators o-often t-tend to f-fight to e-establish dominance over w-whose the a-alpha d-during mating…”
>That…
>You just decide to ignore that and go back to serving food, “Right time to eat girls!”Mm I don't really know where to go next with the story here, but I am kinda just wasting time watching blacksmithing how to's they seem really fun.
>>27220575
Been there done that have you seen the one with the home made metal furnace where he melts cans and makes zelda swords and crass knuckles?
>>27220587
Yeah actually, he's the one I got the idea to start making this stuff, though I'd need to go and make the stryrofoam slicer thing he had made before I could actually cast anything. Stuff looked pretty damn neat to me honestly.
>>27219763
>should I just commit sudoku for writing this?
>sudoku
nigga
>>27220694
hownewru
>>27220587
>crass knuckles
He uses a home made furnace to create finger joints and then imbues said phalange articulators with the powers of speech and restricts said speech to obscenities and profanities?
Seems legit.
>>27220694
Subaru*
Sorry about that still learning Chinese cartoon language.
>>27220767
>>27220767
yup you have never been to the dark side of youtubes
>>27220575
>>Fluttershy blinks and shrugs, “W-well predators o-often t-tend to f-fight to e-establish dominance over w-whose the a-alpha d-during mating…”
woah dude bro
chill on the stuttering
>>27219186
>Be MarineAnon
>In an unfortunate whiskey induced accident you found yourself in the land ruled by ponies.
>Bird ponies, magicky ponies, and then just the regular ones.
>After you tried filleting one with a knife for meat you learned their kicks hurt.
>A lot.
>It turned out they knew english, even though they said it was you who knew equish
>But fuck that, this was AMERICA!! Well not really, but you get the idea.
>Overall things weren’t too shabby, after pestering the purple one who thinks is in charge she basically laid it out for you.
>Women were men and men were women, without all the fun bits changing. This alone caused a little disappointment for you.
>But unfortunately for you due to the lack of housing you were set up with “her”
>”Hey Anon bro, come out back and chill” she would say.
>Goddamn hippie horse.
>Drugs are bad
>Lincoln didn’t defeat those damn ruskies so you could do drugs!
>At least you think it was Lincoln, might have just been some weird guy with a beard but whatever.
>A small part of you wishes you were back home, back on base with your friends. Hell you even missed that one sergeant who was a dick just for the sake of being a dick.
>”Dude relax, life is too short to worry about the small stuff.”
>Easy for you to say, all you do is sell drugs as “medicinal remedies”, some of us have to actually work for a living.
>And the job you ended up getting was the equivalent of a pony DMV, but instead of cars there were boats, airships, and wagons.
>Not a day goes by where you don’t want to strangle some of these horses.
>”Hey Anon, do we have any of those chips left. The munchies are calling.”
>Nevermind, you might strangle this horse.
>>27220779
>>27220819
Interesting, old fashion American Anon with Treehugger. I'll make mac and cheese.
>>27220833
forgot pic
>>27220819
not
RGRE
at
all
>>27220845
fuck off I want this.
>>27220694
This >>27220711
nigga
>>27220855
>Still be MarineAnon, because AMERICUH!!
>Today’s the day you might actually go to horse jail.
>”I know it’s hard for a colt to understand but listen, my ship is fine I don’t need no stinckin safety inspection to get it registered.”
>Breathe
>”So just get your cute little butt over there to that stack of registration forms and get it for me.”
>Yup you were going to jail.
>Putting a happy smile on your face you got up.
>You’ll probably get fired, but at least it would make for a cool story later.
>Walking by the stack you headed around the counter.
>The pony eyed you as you approached and yanked her up by the scruff of her neck.
>”HEEYYYYY!!! LET GO OF MEE!!!”
>Every ponies head turned to watch, some in fear, some with fascination as you walked to the double doors.
>The Pegasus struggling to free herself.
>Opening the said doors you channeled the inner field goal kicker and punted the light weight Pegasus.
>Her yelling growing fainter as she sailed through the sky.
>You and the guys always played some football against the other platoons back on Lejeune. Being the usually only sober one you always got fucked into being the kicker.
>Walking back to your counter you set down in your seat.
“Next please at counter number 3”
-
I'll leave at this.
>>27220962
battleax at the dmv Anon, this is tickling my sides in a pleasant way. More? Does Marine Anon become full ghetto at people?
>>27220992
I might write a bit more later.
>>27220962
>maybeitsjustashitpost/10
meh
>>27221140
>maybe she's born with it
>>27220544
>“What the soccer ball?”
>>”Hoof ball, but yeah,
Fucking eurohorses
>>27221158
Maybe its Marebeline
>>27221217
>not Neighbelline
BOO
>>27221203
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
>>27221250
S-sorry
Continued from: http://pastebin.com/z353QYvn
I'm restarting from the point just before Anon has dinner with Rarity.
----------
>You settle yourself down across the table from Rarity, who magically levitates the dinner she prepared onto the table.
>Your nose knows its stuff; wheat-loaf, boiled green beans, and and some sort of pasta dish.
>"So, Anonymous, now that I have you..."
>Her eyes dart down to you the knot on your bathrobe.
>"...tied and bound, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"
>She grasps her utensils in her magic and begins the cut up her green beans, and you decide to follow suit.
>That's when you notice that your knife and fork are made out of plastic.
>God-dammit, Rarity.
>She saw an opportunity to ruin the atmosphere and she fucking ran with it.
"Not much to say that you don't already know," you reply, struggling not to break your knife cutting yourself a bit of wheat-loaf.
>"Is that so?" returns Rarity, doing her best to speak in a sultry tone.
>"Because there is ever-so much that you've kept hidden from all the mares in ponyville. Are you shy, sweetheart?"
>Her pseudo-worried expression quickly melts into a wicked grin.
>"Because I've taken your measurements before, baby, and you don't have a thing to feel embarrassed about."
>Whoo-boy.
>Keep it together, Anon.
>Try not to think about her gross animal lips.
"Diving right in, are we?"
>"Maybe I'm hoping that you'd dive right into ME instead."
>Just in case you were too stupid to pick up on her really subtle flirting, Rarity stares you dead in the eye and licks her lips.
>"Please, eat. It isn't every day you find a mare who knows how to cook."
>No kidding, huh?
>You give Rarity's pasta a taste-test and are kind of surprised when it's actually pretty good.
>"Do you like the sauce, Anonymous?" she asks, leaning forward, "I made it myself."
>Okay, this dinner's over now.
>>27220694
>being a newfag
Lurk more fagit
>>27221349
>>27221349
"Well, Rarity, I can't thank you enough for this lovely dinner."
>You stand up and make for the door.
"It was... it was great."
>That's when you feel a tug on the back of your bathrobe's belt, startling you and pulling you away from the front door.
>This has the unfortunate side-effect of undoing the knot on the front.
>"Darling, that bathrobe looks a little bit tight on you."
>You're caught between walking to the front door and not publicly exposing yourself, and you end up stumbling backwards into the shop.
>Fucking wizard ponies!
>"It's so warm; why don't you loosen up that belt?"
"Oi. Oi!"
>"I'm really quite skilled with my hor-ouch!"
>You grab the bathrobe that's fluttering away from you and yank it back towards you.
>This has the unintentional side effect of pulling Rarity towards you like you were playing some fucked-up game of tug-a-war.
>With a thump that rattles the windows, you and Rarity fall into a heap; you on the bottom and Rarity on top.
>When you get a better look at her, you see that she's quite frazzled.
>Her mane is poking out at random, and she has a bit of food spilt on her normally-spotless coat.
>Idly, you note that magic seems to be like physical labour for unicorns; Rarity's panting and is quite out of breath.
>"I... I do NOT put... Put together such...hah... hah... Romantic evening for just.... oh Celestia, I'm out of shape.... just anypony... Oh, wow."
>Rarity collapses on your chest and uncharacteristically doesn't try to get her hooves on your cock.
>You're actually a little bit concerned, to be honest.
"You alright there, Rares?"
>" 'm fine, Anon'mus. Jus' need.... jus' need a few minutes..."
>She tries to keep speaking, but she's too out of breath.
>You can't help but smile at the mare laying on your chest.
>She's all tuckered out.
>You wrap an arm around her and slowly rub circles in her back until she gets her second wind.
>She isn't chubby like Twilight, but she's equally as out of shape as the purple mare.
>>27221389
>"D-did I do it, Darling?"
"Hmm?"
>Aww, is this little cutie falling asleep on you?
>"Did I get you?"
>How can my rapist possibly be this cute?
>You'll humour her.
"You sure did, Rares."
>Rarity responds by curling up and drooling on your chest.
>Gross.
>Once you're sure she's fallen asleep, you carry her up to her room and tuck her in.
--------------------------------------
>You wake up the next morning (in your own house and your own bed, thank you) to the sound of pounding on your window.
>"Hey! Anon, wake up! Dude, I need to talk to you!"
>Oh, you can fuck RIGHT off, Rainbow Dash.
>It's only ten in the morning. Not even Rainbow Dash is awa-oh, wait.
>"C'mon, Anon, what are you even doing in there?"
>You answer with a sleepy moan.
>"...is it something colty? Are you... cleaning up your bras?"
>Your fucking what?
>The FUCK is Rainbow Dash trying to say about you?
>Somepony's getting a slap right in the face the next time you see her.
>Her name start with "R" and ends with "ainbow Dash"
>hint: it's Rainbow Dash
"Fuck off, Dash. I don't HAVE any bras, you jackass."
>You swear you hear her mutter, "racist" under her breath, but you're still half-asleep.
>"Y-you go around bra-less?"
>My my. She sounds awfully flustered.
>There's a pregnant pause wherein you pretend that Rainbow Dash has left you alone and you can go back to sleep, but you know it isn't true.
>"I... I d-don't believe you, Anon. Let me - let me in and p-prove it."
>Fucking FINE!
"Okay! Jesus, if it will get you off my back, I'll open my window."
>>27221426
>Muttering under your breath about bird ponies, you role off of your bed and walk over to your window, which you open.
>Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash flutters in and swivels her head around wildly.
>Earugh.
>You sometimes forget that pegasi can sort of do that neck thing that owls can.
>"No way."
>Rainbow Dash revs up her wings and dives into your top-most drawer, which you leave open all the time.
>She sifts through your socks and underwear and you GUESS she's looking for a bra?
>Or whatever you imagined she said while you were half-asleep?
>Rainbow Dash pops up out of your drawer after swimming around in your underwear like Scrooge McDuck in his vault of money.
>Luckily for you, she doesn't have a pair of your dwindling underwear on her head.
>She DOES, however, have a sock over each ear.
>"No bucking way!"
>She looks at you like she just found an unread Daring Do novel.
>"Are... are you doing anything?"
>She blushes a bit and tries to paw the socks off of her ears.
>"L-later, I mean?"
>Huh.
>You'd have pegged Rainbow Dash for a lesbian, in all honesty.
>...wait, do these ponies thing that you're a girl?
>Dammit!
>All that time and all those nude photos you allowed Twilight to take of you for her book on human psyiology: wasted.
>....
>There never WAS a book, was there?
>Fucking ponies.
>Just...
>FUCKING ponies.
>>27221447
"So, what brings you to my house this morning, Dash?"
>"What?"
>Rainbow Dash, I'm so sick of your shit right now.
>"Oh! Oh, yeah. Rarity wanted me to ask you if you could dig up a few more gems for her, and she wanted me to help too."
"I don't know..."
>"She said that she can pay you for it."
>Ooohh...
>Is it really worth the risk of a shower and a nice dinner?
>You think it might be.
"Fuck it; sure thing. Where're we going to find these gems?"
>More importantly, where the hell is Spike?
>"They're just outside the clock-tower."
>That's a little bit off the ol' beaten path down towards Sugarcube Corner for your morning coffee, but you can always go there later.
--------
>You are Rainbow Dash.
>They told you that you were naive and stupid for believing that such a colt existed, but you've finally found it.
>A colt who doesn't wear a testicle bra.
>Anon didn't even have a single pair in his entire collection.
>Oh Celestia, you can only IMAGINE how his pair must be j-jumping and swinging around right now.
>Rubbing against the fabric of his human pants...
>Get-getting all sweaty....
>Thank the Sun you're flying right now.
>Anon would probably freak out if he saw you sporting the biggest wing-boner you've ever had.
>You SWEAR they feel at least a few inches longer than they usually are.
>"Hey, Rainbow, you're looking a little bit hot."
>For YOU.
>"Wanna hop on up on my back 'til we get there?"
>YES
>CELESTIA YES
"S-sure. Thanks, Anon."
>You grapple onto his back and wrap your fore-hooves around your shoulders and marvel at how the fabric of his shirt rubs against your marehood.
>Oh buck he smells so good
>You REALLY hope nopony notices the wet stain you're leaving on his back.
-------
>>27221476
"So, where are these gems even coming from?"
>Rainbow Dash lifts her head off of your shoulder and sleepily looks you in the eye.
>"Hmm?"
>It sure was nice of her to offer her services as an umbrella.
>Those wings of hers haven't gone down for a single second for all the time you've been mining these gems.
"I mean, this cluster wasn't here last week; was it?"
>Rainbow Dash nuzzles your cheek, deep in thought.
>She always seems to do that when she does any serious thinking.
>That shit's pretty cash money, so you aren't complaining.
>"Yeah, that IS actually pretty weird. Maybe somepony's setting up traps for Diamond Dogs? We've had a lot of trouble with them before."
>Rainbow Dash nuzzles the back of your neck, sending tingles along your spine.
>"I... I'd keep you safe if there were Diamond Dogs in town, Anon."
>Aww, that's sweet
>She's forgetting that you're two or three times her size again, but it's the thought that couoihhboy she is licking the back of your neck, ladies and gentlemen.
>That's not so sweet.
>>27221487
>>"Well, well, well. Ain't this a coh-ink-ee-dink?"
>You always knew this day would come.
>You turn to face the orange devil, but Rainbow Dash acts before you can open your mouth to speak.
>Rainbow Dash climbs up your neck and onto your head like some kind of strange pony-monkey hybrid.
>Secure in her perch with her rear hooves wrapped around your neck, Rainbow Dash start making loud chirping noises at Applejack. You can tell by the shadows on the ground that Rainbow Dash has spread her wings wide out.
>You don't know WHAT'S going on, but you don't like it.
>To your astonishment, Applejack rears back and starts making noises you would've expected to hear from an elk in distress.
>>"HEARUUURAAAHK"
>Rainbow Dash responds by hissing loudly and chattering her teeth.
>"Chaatatatahataatahaha!"
"D-dash? What the fuuooh my."
>Rainbow Dash grips you around the forehead and starts aggressively rubbing her chest tuft on the back of your head.
>Has it gotten fluffier, or is it just you?
>Applejack looks outraged.
>With a few mid-air bucks into the nothing behind her, Applejack runs off back the way she came from.
>Oh god, ponies are staring.
>Some of them look afraid; others, disappointed.
-------
Ehh? That's a little bit better now, isn't it? I sincerely hope y'all see this as an improvement.
>>27221506
>that's a pretty neat story/10
>>27221516
A non-numerical value out of ten is what I've always wanted.
>>27221552
shit/10 is also non numerical. Be careful what you wish for.
>>27221552
Would you prefer a 8/I enjoyed reading that and am interested in reading more?
>>27221506
I like Dash.
Would aggressively cuddle and massage fingers through chest fluff.
>>27219272
>>27221580
This one is math. It's science and I understand that.
>>27221581
This right here is the bullshit they teach at my university. I'd have to do a bunch of balancing and solving for X and using functions to figure out what your score means.
>>27221585
Don't give me ideas, Anon.Give me ideas, Anon.
>>27221506
Wait, so you're exchanging the cute Rarity stuff for cute Dash stuff, and the well meaning but thirsty Rarity stuff for literal rapist Rarity stuff, right?
Was there a reason for this change beyond you not liking Rarity? Since it isn't changing much beyond adding Dash, I assume, because you like Dash.
Just write a Dash story next time then, no need to butcher a Rarity story and shove a Dash story in it's corpse.
>>27221638
Felt to me like we're just getting the adventure of Anon dealing with one thirsty mare after the other.
All the while going "fucking ponies, man".
>>27221506
Much better please continue/10
>>27221638
>>Wait, so you're exchanging the cute Rarity stuff for cute Dash stuff, and the well meaning but thirsty Rarity stuff for literal rapist Rarity stuff, right?
Close. I'm exchanging the thirsty Rarity stuff for literal rapist Rarity stuff because I'm not even good at writing anything serious. The bullshit I peddle is built up on jokes on-par with the comedy you'd see in an old episode of FRIENDS.
>>Was there a reason for this change beyond you not liking Rarity? Since it isn't changing much beyond adding Dash, I assume, because you like Dash.
No, Anon, I like Rarity just fine. Just like how Applejack's one of my favourite pones, but in this story she's depicted as a persistent country-bumpkin pervert who Anon doesn't even like. True be told, I have no idea how to advance the story from where I'd left off last night, or even how to make the characters act. It really just isn't the way I write.
>>Just write a Dash story next time then, no need to butcher a Rarity story and shove a Dash story in it's corpse.
A Dash story sounds like a good idea, but this isn't a dash story. It is (or will be, I guess) a story about Rarity's attempts at getting into Anon's human pants through her friends. If you read back, RD says that Rarity asked her to help Anon get the gems. They also make note that the gems Rarity is having Anon mine weren't there a week ago. It all comes full circle, Anon. Don't you worry.
>>27221689
Thanks, bud. Will do.
>>27221703
Ok, that answers that.
Still weird to see this story be as cut up as this one has been, but you're the writefag.
>>27221703
>Close. I'm exchanging the thirsty Rarity stuff for literal rapist Rarity stuff because I'm not even good at writing anything serious. The bullshit I peddle is built up on jokes on-par with the comedy you'd see in an old episode of FRIENDS.
>I'm not even good at writing anything serious. The bullshit I peddle
It doesn't have to be like this, Pluggo...
>>27221703
>Rarity planting the gems to have Anon get them
>Instead of buying him things, she's paying him to do jobs for her so she sees him more
>>27221748
Someday I'll write something serious as a short, Anon. Today is not that day.
>>27221772
This nigger gets it.
>Anon goes to griffin lands
>Griffins are strictly carnivorous
>Treat the sight of Anon eating fruit with the same amount of disgust as ponies would treat the sight of Anon eating meat
>>27221881
Meh, small price to pay for a good bbq.
>>27221904
I just like the idea of Anon grossing out a bunch of touch catbirds by eating an apple while he waits for the meat to cook.
>>27221506
I can accept this. It does seem to fit better into the story as established.
But I'm still kind of concerned about how it's going to end now. I've been traumatized.
>>27221881
Reversed Diet Roles Gryphonia
>>27221881
They're carnivores, I imagine they wouldn't look at fruit or vegetable eating with disgust but rather contempt.
>>27221881
Gryphons don't cook normally, they're too lazy. Anon cooks his meat, and birds are lining up for him, even if he does eat wimp food
>>27221881
The thing is, the reason ponies are disgusted doesn't translate to griffons.
Griffons might find it strange, but it would be because they can't eat the stuff. So why is this person eating this stuff, stuff that prey eats. They must be weak.
>>27221970
And they think they're weak not just because they're eating what prey eats, but because griffons that ate a lot of plants were weak too, so this one must be weak too.
>>27221935
"So girls, what's the ETO on that steak?"
>"About fifteen minutes, kitten. You sure you don't want me to claw it up into smaller pieces for you?"
"You sure you don't want me to slap your shit?"
>You and catbirdwaifu share a laugh while you settle down with the rest of the griffons.
>It looks like it's snacktime.
>You reach into you backpack and pull out a nice and juicy Macintosh apple courtesy of Applejack's brother.
>Mac sure looked bashful when he gave you the bushel.
>A loud CRUNCH when you take your first bite is enough to draw the attention of the nearest griffon.
>>"Oh, ew! Anonymous, are you seriously going to eat that?!"
>A few of the boy griffons avert their eyes and some of the less tough lady griffons look a little bit green under their feathers.
>You've been through this before, so you know just what to do.
>You give them a big toothy grin and start chewing.
>>27221988
Why do you ever bother to green anon, pluggo? Just leave your name on, missy.
>>27221999
fuck fuck FUCKt-trips confirm.
>>27221999
>>27222013
meme magic is real
>>27222076
I believe
>>27219763
Dawww/10 for sure want part 2, you got good shit here mang
>"Get in, bastard. We're going shopping."
>>27222943
>"Daughter of a bastard" is A Thing
>Pones are confused when Anon stubs his toe and screams SOB
>"Why would you bother reversing DOB? That isn't the thing you say, Anon. It's close, but you're still wrong."
>>27223037
I'd respond with a friendly 'go fuck yourself.'
>>27223132
>"Don't you mean, 'buck', Anon? Celestia, I've never heard an accent like your's."
>>27223132
>"That sounds pretty similar to "buck", Anon. Did you mean that? Were you trying to tell me to go buck myself? That's rude, Anon."
>>27220826
>>27223170
>"I'm not saying it's magic.... but it's magic."
>>27223170
not sure who that is, but i'll take a dozen
>>27223201
Do those clothes cost extra? Because if so I'll be happy to take her without them.
>>27223201
Apparently she's from Mahou Tsukai no Yoru
>>27222943
>Anon is horsemarried
>His herd makes him go on a "colt's day out" because they think he needs a break.
>Anon just knows they'll fuck something up if he's not there to stop them.
Since you already fucking know it's me, I'll namefag. I've got a prompt for some other writefriends.
RGRE only the ponies look like IRL horses. like, horses. Weird long faces, eyes on the side of the head, thin legs, strange teeth; etc. They want Anon's dick, but Anon really REALLY doesn't want to stick his penis inside a horse.
