Previous thread: >>27152075
GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
>>27177093
YOU FORGOT THE DONG RING, YOU MADMAN !
>>27177093
>mfw it's not dong ring
>>27177093
This is probably the only stallion pic I've ever found cute.
>>27177182
There are plenty.
>>27177137
You don't know that, maybe Caramel uses one to improve his performance?
>>27177182
ricpelated
>>27177239
Nah.
OP is it.
>>27177093
>Caramel
>Not Time Turner
Thank you for not putting the Worst RGRE Pony on here.
Also more stories about sad pones eating ice cream
>>27177239
>that pic
The mystery is solved. Mudponies are now redeemed.
>>27177265
>How hooves hold
Bullshit horse magic (zero-range tk)
apply suck on your own appendages, weirdo
>>27177248
Where's the green that was promised?
>>27177354
Pluggo is busy jerking off in Space Engineers and I'm fucking tired from a conference. Pray for BNW instead.
>>27177420
bnw only comes once with the blue moon
hope for lap
>>27177720
>hope for the 'cool' uncle
>not waiting for dad to come home
>>27177420
hey wait a sec, you are a writer too...
>>27177948
You could be one too.
>>27177892
Go to your room, Anon
>>27178021
LaP, it may be touchy subject to some, but will you ever finish Dungeons and Damsels? If even only in your pastebin?
>>27178075
Yeah, prolly. I don't know when I'm gonna do it but I'm gonna finish it
>>27177892
>>27178021
I want a list of how each RGRE writefag fits into a family
>>27178112
>>27178095
That gives me hope!
>>27178131
Wasn't there some dude who used this pic as each Princess demonstrating why they'd be the ideal mate for Anon? Because there's no way that the princess of LOVE isn't stuffing 15 cake-dicks into her mouth at once on purpose.>"Over here, Anon! I've spent so many hour of lonely masturbation that I can pleasure my horn without even looking. Imagine what I could do to YOUR horn."
>>27178112
See pic
>>27178176
I honestly don't remember where I got it, but it would make sense. There was another of these but with tacos as well.
>>27178021
You're not my dad. Get some foals of your own and boss them around.
>>27178218
That sounds like a grand idea.
>>27178195
>not dewey
Thank christ.
Does this mean I get to beat LaP whenever his green isn't on the table and ready when I get home from work?
>>27178243
Applemom looks so happy.
>>27178323
She's very excited to be a momma.
>>27178112
Venus' dad is dad because Venus is our littlest sis.
And lots of moms. Lots.I wish Frosty wasn't such a deadbeat....
>>27178364
I see.
>>27178388
Frosty is the dad that left the family, comes back every once in a while, gives you pocket change, and then fucks off
>>27178422
>Frosty is the mom* that left the family, comes back every once in a while, gives you pocket change, and then fucks off
>You are Non doing Non things. Man its great to be a Non.
> Oh look a weird bug horse thing
>It looks like a female, and so full of happiness
>Aww its trying to kidnap you and drag you to its rape cave
> how cute
The long awaited sequel to my old shitpost
>>27178516
Pastebin?
>>27178621
http://pastebin.com/CvBxKx7A
>>27178422
>Pocket Change
Nigga, she brings the fucking PS4 when she comes home.
Then you grow up into a lose that substitutes vidya for the love you never got growing up.
newfag to RGRE. I just want to know if Slownon is active because I really loved Anon Sitting Scootaloo and dont ever see any updates to the sequel on the pastebin.
>>27178787
He's stuck in limbo
>>27178516
>casually strolling around the Everfree is nice
>birds and colorful plants in a wide variety
>what a refreshing sight after the controlled, bland Ponyville landscape, you think, while inhaling the unique fragrance of the forest...
>oh hey, something is coming along the road
>what kind of cute creature is this, you ponder
Hello, cute bug, who are you?
>said cute bug just grins as you get closer
>*SHRIEK*
>turning around quickly, another cute bug, a smaller one, faces you
>*bonk*
>aww cute bug #1 hit your head from behind
>oohhh, she probably wants to kidnap you
>cute
>clutching your head, you "fall" to the ground, closing your eyes
>"What is this, my queen?"
>"I don't know, but I sense great potential, let's bring it back to the hive"
>"Yes, my queen"
>they grab yer' legs and start to drag you towards some unknown location
>dust is getting under the suit, not nice
>their backs are turned towards you while dragging, glancing up you see cute bug #1, apparently 'queen', looking very pleased
>also dat cephalothorax, dat abdomen
>unf
>queen bug halts, eyes wide, turns around
Uhhhh.... Buy me a dinner?
>cute bug queen adopts seductive smile
>no, boner, no
>assuming direct control, head
>this is going to be a long day
>>27178787
Not really.
Saw a good one awhile back about an RGRE where Anon was a girl super villain and he was dealing with pony superheroes.
Anyone want to take a stab at it?
>>27178992
>CoolKids uncomfortably shifts in his seat as people call his Jojofag ass out
>>27178992
Why don't you do it?
>>27177024
Whelp. Found the guy who's never seen a tax form. You have to claim alimony and child support as income for tax purposes, mainly because that type of money comes out of the targe-eer, ex-spouse's paycheck before taxes hit. At least, I'm pretty sure it's before taxes hit.
>>27178021
>>27177892
As your dad, listen to what your dad says. Don't be a filthy monosexual, son.
>>27177420
...I swear if she keeps going through towels, I'm going to shut off the internet! I'll do it! I'll call up the internet and turn it off!
>>27177354
If you eat your greens you'll spoil your appetite for greens. Have some greens instead.
>>27178195
why is my name on this guy's crotch? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE.
Green incoming.
>>27178131
>>27178112
>>27178176
>>27178195
>>27178718
What does anyone of the other writefriendos need to write or post green about if they want to be that akward uncle that always brings the booze and hits on the mom?
Or that funny family friend that always is there for help them but in the end ruins it for everyone?
>>27179177
>why is my name on this guy's crotch?
I've seen your lewd greens, trust me its appropriate.
>WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE.
Malcolm in the middle
Welp, slowdrawfag without a scanner is here, sadly couldn't make it to the previous threadsAnd Luna failed that test 'cause she wrote her name in old equestrian writing
>You are Anon
>Still
>And at your insistence, Triplicate is letting you handle this "delicate situation arising from a clerical error"
>She just doesn't have the stomach to tie up this loose end
>Turns out you do! Who knew?!
>With copies of the offending errors in your messenger bag-
>because they STILL DON'T HAVE BASIC OFFICE SUPPLIES
>you make your way to the park
>Odds are, with how nice a day it is out here, Time Turner will be milling about; if not looking after his colt, then being sortof an alpha stallion for the playground
>Like a soccer mom, but with more opinions
>You stand at the front of the park, watching the little anklebiters frolic without a care
>....how dare they enjoy life
>Somestandardized testingwill take care of that!
>You mull over how best to show that particular bill to Mayor Mare before larger movement catches your eye
>Ah. There he is, in the pagoda
>Thankfully, the pagoda is asleep, so you can approach it without fear
>He perks up as he sees you, waving you over - excellent
>"Heeeeyyyy~! I see you survived last night!"
>You furrow your eyebrows as you duck in, taking a seat on a bench nearby
"Wait, what?"
>Time Turner chuckles. "Well, word on the street is that you had to carry your date home-"
>You groan
"Ugh, sometimes I forget I live in a small town-"
>"Hehe, yeah. Though, did she really vandalize th-"
>You cut him off with a wave of your hand
"Hey now. I cannot confirm nor deny anything. Twilight was nice enough to just magic away the graffiti, so, there's not going to be an actual investigation."
>Time Turner smiles, humming softly. "Mm, yeah...she's a handful - ah, from what I've heard."
>Sure, little horse, 'from what you've heard'
"Oh?"
>He shrugs. "Yeah, she's a party mare - it's from all that club music she does. I don't see what everypony likes, it's just UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ and then smokey clubs and hooves all around your flank-"
>He shudders, shaking his head. "I know it takes all kinds, but still..."
>>27179317
That test looks biased. Looks great. Would look better if scanned.
>>27179317
Dammit, that Nerdalis is fuckin' adorable.
Now I'm just picturing her concentrating with her tongue sticking out a little. Because she wants to do well on it.
>>27179411
I thought she just had a pen in her snoot.
>>27179317
Art is always good; you gotta get you a scanner. Just take one from a store, tell 'em it's horse-related, they'll understand.
>>27179322
"That sounds like you've got some history with her."
>He hums again. "You could say that. You helped me with my relocation, so... You helped her with hers?"
>You nod, pulling your bag strap over your head
"Yeah, I did - all of y'all from Manehatten-"
>"Yeah, the big city... always busy."
>Time Turner sighs, rolling his shoulders. "Really, it was no place for me after all. No real place to raise a colt, eith-"
"Ah, forgive me for interrupting, but... I did come out here to talk with you, yanno."
>"Oh?"
"Yeah... now, ah. I did some digging around - papertrails and all that - and I remember that we got you both residency, food and income assistance?"
>". . .yes? All my paperwork should be in order, right? I only do that once every year or so-"
"Well, normally, yes, but-"
>"But what?"
>You rummage around your messenger bag, pulling out his files. Placing them on the table between you, you start pointing out discrepancies
"Well. It says you have no assets - which, ok, we don't count things like clothing or incidentals. But you also claimed no income-"
>"That's right. I was a stay-at-home father."
>You sigh
"Time Turner, I asked if you had any income - any income from any source at all. I even broke it down for you saying gifts from friends or family counted-"
>"And I said I didn't have an-"
"You get alimony. I checked."
>don'tcallmybluffdon'tcallmybluffdon't-"
>"Wh-well yes, but, that's all money that I deser-"
>You cut him off with a wave of your hand
"Turner, I don't know how much it is, but we gave you all this based on an income of 0 bits. If you told us this incorrectly it would be considered fraud, which is a felony-"
>"We-we can change it, right?" He leans over the table, looking into your eyes. "We - it was an accident, I just didn't know what you meant, it's just paperwor-"
"Turner."
>>27179438
No, the pic has her chewing on the end of her pen/quill.
>>27179317
your chrysalis a cute
>>27179446
>Telling Turner he's being investigated
>Not filing the paperwork and letting the gears of bureaucracy inevitably grind him down.
>Not letting surprise auditors show up at his home.
Anon confirmed for shit bureaucrat.
>>27179458
I just said that though...
>>27179529
Ah. A misreading on my part. Took 'pen in her snoot' as 'pen in her nose'.
>>27179498
you gota learn to play with your food, otherwise it gets boring after a while
>>27179446
>He sits down, breathing heavily
>"I- I just, I.."
>You lean back, sighing
"Look. I'm not in the business of ruining lives, but...we have to do something about this. I know, my office now knows, we can't sweep it under the rug. If you came to us on your own, th-"
>"But you can't! I-I have a little colt! We, we just moved in and I needed the help and I just-"
>You reach forward, human instincts kicking in, andboop him gently
"Hey. Breathe. Just.... why? Tell me the reason, I can work with you."
>Time Turner looks away, swallowing hard
>"I...what do you want to know?"
"Well. Start back at the beginning. Why'd you leave Manehatten, why did you come here and commit fraud?"
>His ears splay back at 'fraud', but he begins softly.
>"I uh... well. It's no secret I was married to Octavia."
>You nod
>"And, I mean, for a time it was great. She was never abusive, didn't drink - she loved her music, and I loved talking with her about it, and listening. Still do, really. When she told me she was pregnant, I was so happy, but..."
>He looks at you, softly. "Anon, how often do you think she's on the road?"
"Hm. Professional musician, I'd think more often than not."
>"S-sure. At least 30 weeks out of the year, gone. When she was in Manehatten, she was practicing - which was fine. I'd go see her, bring her lunch... it worked. We made- no... I made it work. For the first few months of her pregnancy, everything was normal."
>Time Turner suddenly inhales deeply, letting it out in a shuddering breath
>"Anon... Anon she's a workaholic. Do you know how I met my colt?"
>You furrow your brow
"Met? I thought-"
>"No! No, I *met* my colt, because she refused to take maternity leave. Anon, for fuck's sake, I got a call that she went into labor in CANTERLOT."
"Oh. That's...."
>"Yeah. I missed my only son's birth because she put her music above our family. I met my son a day later."
>You sigh
"Damn... I'm sorry."
>"Mmm."
>>27179574
but mommy told not to play with food
>>27179565
It's okay, Anon. We all make mistakes, like marrying time turnip for one.
>>27179589
>>27179589
>Inb4 those were all lies so TT can gain sympathy from Anon
>>27179589
>You let a few moments of silence drag out, and Turner collects himself
>"So... no big deal. Mares will be mares, gotta be macho to the end - so, I thought new colt... surely she'd slow down. Or at least take maternity."
"She didn't?"
>"She did after her tour. I went home with little Treble and cared for him for another two weeks."
>He smiles, but it's not a happy one
>"So... she comes home, on maternity, and I still hope. But, she... she's just in love with that cello! Anon, do you know what it's like, fighting for the affections of your mare with a bucking inanimate object?!"
>You smile wryly - as a government worker, you're incapable of feeling emotions
>But you nod sofly
>"And I just couldn't take it anymore. If you want to be with me, be with me - if you want to be single and tour, do it! I tried getting her friend Vinyl to help, but she just laughed it off and told me to buck up, like - like just because I wasn't working now, I had it easy! A feeding every 2 hours, 24 hours a day for a month. EASY."
>Oh, he's angry. His jaw is clenching as he talks
>"S-so, buck it. One day when she was out on her month-long tours, I filed for a divorce. Ah!"
>He waves his hoof at you, cutting you off
>"I know, I know. It was a cold move, but. I thought the shock might get to her. Know what happened instead?"
>You shake your head
>"She missed the first court date. So I got primary custody. She missed the second court date - so I got alimony... she missed her third, and I didn't want to bother anymore, so I let her keep her shit."
>He snarls the last bit, and you mentally take note
>That's the first time he's cursed
>"She just wanted to postpone each hearing TO NOT TAKE TIME OFF FROM TOURING-"
"Well... alright, so that brings us to you leaving. I'm assuming you didn't keep her residence-"
>"No, no, I don't give a hay about that high-rise apartment. But..."
>He sighs
>Here we go
>>27179663
well, but what if BNW is actally tricking us, knowing we would plow that chellohorse like no other, and making her a bad mare?
>>27179742
That's why you don't get involved.
You let the system handle it.
Anon must be new.
>>27179727
>"Although the alimony was generous - it wasn't enough. At least, not enough to keep us where we were. I cut back on the quality of food... then quantity, then I looked for apartments nearby his preschool.... then only ones I could afford. I, I'd been so long out of the job market nopony would hire me at my old rates, and-"
>He sighs
>"-and of course I have a foal, so I couldn't go do extra work....the neighborhoods I was starting to entertain were not very family friendly. Especially for a single stallion."
"So, you decided to leave?"
>"Mhm. Ponyville seemed far enough away that I could just disappear, and small enough that I could find work easily. Or maybe I wouldn't even have to-"
"And that brings you to my office."
>He nods meekly. "Y-yes... I was just so scared I wouldn't be able to afford anything - th, that I'd have to take little Treble with me to some ratty halfway house...that I just reached for everything I could. Any help I could get - Nopony else would've done differently! In my situation - no job, no prospects, not enough money!!"
>He's pleading with you now
>You can see it in his eyes
>Gently, youreach down into your bag and tap the recording crystal off.You've got what you need.
"Turner, I'm... You're no villain. I think everypony knows that."
>He nods, still focused on your face
"But, fraud is fraud. Now-"
>He inhales raggedly, fighting against his emotions
"Hey, hey. Like I said, I'm not here to ruin your life. I'm very certain that the judge - and most likely, the princess - will be sympathetic towards your plight."
>"Wh-what's, what's going to happen to my son?! Please, don't hurt my son."
>His cheeks are wet, his voice soft
>...damnit
>You rub your chest to keep your heart going
"Nothing... probably. At worst, he'll go to Octavia while the trial's going o-"
>"OCT-Octavia?! She - she can't raise him! Sh- she'd just ABANDON HIM-"
"Heyheyhey, shhh... hey..."
>>27179177
>I swear if she keeps going through towels, I'm going to shut off the Internet.
She?.......SHE?!?!?!?
>>27179855
Ohoho Anon is cheekibreeki.
>>27179101
Eh ok
>Be Anon aka the Amazingly Notorious Offending Neverdowell
>Ponies be fucking stupid, you've been doing crime for about five years with your 'alias' and no pony has yet to determine your identity
>Started off doing basic stealing, you always wore a mask to hide your identity
>Ponies never did figure out who you were
>Even though you are about twice as tall as anything else that wasn't a full grown dragon
>and bipedal
>and green
>Did I mention ponies are fucking stupid?
>Apparently my whole being a male with a mask made me very mysterious and attractive
>This lead to me getting harassed by superhero ponies because apparently they don't get enough sex and wanted to 'turn me to the side of good'
>Like 200 bits worth of jewels was enough to warrant fucking goddamn spider-pone raining spaghetti down on me as she tells me how much of a bad stallion I was
>I literally broke out of the ponice station by telling them I need to go to the bathroom, I took my mask off and acted like I had escaped out of the bathroom's tiny ass window
>Half the goddamn ponice station ran out looking to arrest me
>I swear I overheard a couple of the fatter ones talking about feeling up my ass as they huffle puffed their way out the door to arrest me
>Villains think I am with the heroes because I keep being harassed by the heroes all the time
>This lead to the Mareiac to think I was dating Spider-pone so she kidnapped me
>Tried to pony fridge me she did
>Pone fridging is trying to tickle me to death
>I fucking slapped that bitch so hard she was still out when Spider-pone found her
>This gives me massive street cred for taking out an A class supervillain
>Am currently pony kingpin and making hard bank
>Wonder how I'm going to break it to my marefriend that I'm suddenly loaded now
>Eh fuck it Sunset Shimmer is always running off on me anyways, I'll just guilt trip her into ignoring things
>Besides it isn't like she's going to complain about this engagement ring I'm getting her
>>27179855
>You reach forward and grab his hoof.
"Hey. It's ok. From where I'm from, you'd be facing 20 years in jail. I've seen train robbers behind bars here for a month with a stern talking to afterwards-"
>You're not lying, you know
>But tiny drama horses are inconsolable
>"B-but... but he'll, I just know he won't be taken care of, I just - and putting him in a home, I just - please, just not that!"
>You smile softly, rubbing his hoof - your other hand scratching the back of your head
"Look, I'm certain it'll be alright. That was worst case scenario - it'll be ok, ok?"
>"O-okay... I just... I just wanted the best for him."
"I know. Nopony is going to fault you for that."
>The sound of hooves on wood breaks his heavy breathing, and you turn towards the ponicemare.
"Hey."
>She nods at you. "Mr. Turner? We can go now - we'll pick up your colt, and you can stay with him, ok?"
>Time Turner looks at you with a questioning glance, and then back at the uniformed mare
>You give his hoof a reassuring squeeze
"It will be alright. Just be honest, and ask for forgiveness."
>"B-but what if-"
"Turner. In the few short months you've been here exactly how many evil creatures have been turned good and shown mercy?"
>He blinks, then blushes softly. "W-well-"
"A lot. You horses are big on forgiveness."
>"Mr. Anon, if you could release Mr. Turner?" The mare interrupts, smiling softly.
"Yeah. Ah, here."
>You release his hoof, scooping up his files and putting it in your bag.
"Here's everything you need."
>The ponicemare takes the bag from you, giving you a knowing nod.
>"Hmph. I don't... I don't even feel mad at being setup." Turner sighs. "Honestly, it's been a weight on my chest..."
"I know. You look happier already."
>"Yes, well... I guess, see you around?"
"Sure. It's a small town, after all."
>"A-and my son?"
"I'll make sure he's alright after this, ok? Like I said, I'm here to help."
>"T...thank you."
* * *
>You are Octavia
>And you are confused as hell
>>27179343
>>27179446
Yeah, I'll try to find a solution. Or scanner. Or both. As for now, there are many photos in threads (and tumblr to be safe)
>>27179411
>>27179488
Is it bad that i wanted to draw that picture mostly because of nerdbug cutie?
>>27180016
>Is it bad that i wanted to draw that picture mostly because of nerdbug cutie?
Never.
>>27179963
>You saw the GOOD AND RIGHTEOUS MAREFRIEND-FREE COLT Anonymous apparently get that BLOODSUCKER Time Turner ...arrested?!
>You wiggle in the bush, trying to get closer without attracting attention
>On your way back from mid-morning practice, you usually swing by the park
>Sometimes Treble's there, and you can watch him for a while
>Then it's a quick lunch, afternoon practice, dinner, chores and an evening unwind session
>But seeing Anon and Turner talking under a wild pagoda has totally ruined your schedule!
>You're not, ah, stalking him for your sake
>No
>You're stalking him for your herdmate's sake!
>.....which, I guess in a court of law would still be a roundabout benefit to you bu-
>You digress
>You have to make sure that Turner isn't poisoning the well here
>Vi deserves to be happy... or at least, taken care of
>...kept out of jail
>......ok maybe just bailed out regularly?
>You roll your eyes and scoot forward just a little bit more
>Well... ok, Turner's leaving with the ponicemare, and Anon's headed...
>You lie perfectly still as Anon starts walking towards you
>Don't freak out don't freak out
>He's just on one of the many paths that criss-cross the park
>There's no way he-
>"Octavia?"
>FUCK
"N-no?"
>"Oh, well then. You won't mind me taking this cello?"
>He points behind you, but you still don't move
>DON'T PLAY INTO HIS GAME
>"You know. The one in the black-and-gold case? The one laying on the park bench? Right there? That's ok for me to take?"
"....No! No, it is... uh, it's not yours! Stealing is bad!"
>The human smiles, and you silently curse yourself
>"Oh, well then. I'll just donate it to the ponyville school. I'm certain some little filly or colt would love to learn how to play on-"
"DON'T YOU DARE!"
>You burst out of the underbrush in an explosion of melodic justice!
>you flick the twigs out of your tail as you prepare to give him a dressing-down on just how expensive a 300-year-old hoofington cello is-
>But his laughter diffuses your anger
>>27180165
>"Well, hello there! Fancy meeting you here - did Vinyl send you, or are you just making a habit of stalking her friends?"
>You grumble, scrunching up at the human
"I... I was searching for something!"
>"Oh?"
>You remain silent, scrunch intact
>You ain't gonna break first
>Nope
>He sighs
>"Well, alright then. Care to walk me home? I actually have the rest of the day off-"
"W-well, I uh, I mean, I'd be happy to, but..."
>"Need to find your someone?"
"Yes."
>"Not thing?"
"What?"
>He smiles, and you replay what he said in your mind
>....Celestia damnit
"Yes, ok. I was hoping to see Treble before I go to lunch-"
>He hums softly. "Well... that won't happen for a little while."
"Why? What - what's going on?"
>He slowly starts to walk away, and you trot to catch up - can't forget your cello afterall - but once you're out of the park he talks
>"I'll... give you a head's up, seeing as how you'll be pulled in anyway. Time Turner's got some... discrepancies that he needs to address, and you'll be there to verify them."
"Hmph. Great, living up to his name - how much time is he going to take from me now?"
>Anon frowns. "Well. That depends on how long horse justice takes."
"Well. He'll get whatever he deserves."
>"I wonder if he did..."
"What?"
>"Nothing." Anon shakes his head. "Just musing aloud. So you often come to the park to see Treble?"
>You nod
"Of course. Morning cello prep - which sadly I skipped today, and my rehearsal showed it - breakfast, check the schoolyard, then mid-morning practice, check the park, lunch, then work until dinner. I try to see him as often as I can."
>You look up to him, and he's... studying your face
"W-why.... is he going to be alright? Anon, you have to tell me-"
>"Treble will most likely be fine-"
"Most LIKELY?!"
>"Ugh, fine, he'll be fine. I know that look - don't you judge me, tiny horse."
>You scrunch up again
>"Anyway. What do you do with Treble when you have him?"
"On my weekend?"
>He nods
>>27180274
"Is this some sort of civil-servant trap?!"
>He laughs. "No, not at all. Vinyl's close to you, so I might as well learn about you too."
>...makes sense
"Well. We wake up, I make him breakfast, then I do my prep and practice at home. Usually he colors or plays in the house. We go out for lunch, spend some time at the park or at a shop - I try to dote on him when I can - and then back home to relax."
>"You... play your cello to relax?"
"Of course! And he enjoys it - I love seeing his eyes sparkle when I play for him."
>"Mmm. That sounds nice."
"Y-yes..."
>But that didn't sound sincere
>You spend some time in silence, before clearing your throat
"You think I'm a bad mother, don't you?"
>"I think you could do better. But you're not bad, no. I've seen a lot worse."
>Your heart quickens, and you feel bile in your throat
>That slut got to him
"A-and let me guess, you think Turner's perfect?! That he never had a pro-"
>"HEY."
>You stumble a bit and look up at-
>Oh wow that's an angry face
>"I'm not getting in the middle of your failed marriage, alright? I'm not here to judge. But damn, woman, calm down. Not everything's an attack."
>Your ears flat against your head
"I'm... I'm sorry. It's just, Treble's dear to me-"
>"Question."
"A-an...oh?"
>"If you stayed at home, and Time Turner had your schedule, would you have divorced him?"
". . .I uh. O-of course not! His sacrifice for me-"
>"Have you ever not played the cello for a day?"
"Only when sick. What's your point?"
>Anon sighs, muttering something under his breath
>"Look...You need to be honest with yourself, and you need to see what truly matters-"
"My work touches thousands of ponies every day! Music is the lifeblood of this nat-"
>"And if I held your cello and your child over a fire and told you to pick one, which would it be?"
>Your rebuttal dies in your throat
>There's silence between you now, and he stops walking
"...I-I'm not a bad mare, Anon-"
>"No, I know. This is me."
>He points to the nearest townhouse
holy shiz its bnw coming to fill the entire thread
Why not?
>>27180016
>>27180092
Bugs are good.
>>27180368
>He sighs softly. "Look, I know you're not a bad mare. Like I've said, I've seen worse. Hell, there's one family that sincerely thought they could survive off of one type of fruit, forever."
>He laughs, shaking his head
>"Nutritional counseling became mandatory, but ... anyway. Your horse magic must be working on me, cause I used to not give this much of a damn about my constituents."
>Kneeling, he boops you on your muzzle
>"What is the most important? You're trying to have your cake and eat it too, and that's not how families work, that's not how any of this works. You do love your son, right?"
>You nod
>"And you love your music?"
>You nod again
>"You can have both, but one comes naturally at the expense of the other. I'm not saying quit one, but, prioritize."
>You look down at the ground, the growing pit in your stomach rooting you to the spot
>"....anyway. I'm going to clean up, but... I'll see you around, alright?"
"...yeah."
>"Yeah."
>You don't move once he goes up the steps and shuts his door
>You don't move for a long while, even after the sun pushes your shadow out from under you to before you
>Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you're missing practice
>Somewhere in the back of your mind, you don't know if that's important or not anymore
* * *
>You are Anon
>And you spent the last half of your day off making sure your possibly-new-girlfriend's-friend didn't have a mental breakdown infront of your house
>I mean, it was mainly looking at her through your window and making shooing motions
>But you started to come and go through the back door, just so you wouldn't disturb her
>Damnit... why are you growing a heart?
>>27180439
>>Damnit... why are you growing a heart?
They say the bureaucrat's heart grew three sizes that day.
Before it shown that he didn't file the Expansion of Heart Form-D in triplicate, and was sent to wander the labyrinthine corridors of Records for the rest of his days.
>>27180439
Do you make this whole story on spot or did you write it before posting and then just copy paste?
>>27178195
H-hey now, what am I the youngest and the more annoying of the bunch? I can update faster too yanno!
>>27180695
Suuure
>>27179944
Oh I smell shenagins and they smell good!
>>27180606
So far it's been all free-form, write-as-I-go. I had to break for dinner, but I'm back now. Green incoming.
>>27180868
I must say i'm impressed. You are able to come up with good quality green updateing once in 10 to 20 mins and doing it as you go...just wow
>>27180919
It's called practice. Any writefag spending as much time as he does would be the same
>>27180919
Flatterer. You say that to all the colts~
>>27180439
* * *
>Hm.
>You are still Anon, and there's this THING making a face at you
>So you make it right back!
>Aaah, the tongue-hanging-out googly-eyes
>A very good riposte
>BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
>Crossing your eyes, you try to lick your ear-
>The boyish giggling means you've won
>"Staaaaaaaaahhh~no no no no~"
>OR maybe it's because you're tickling him now
>It's been about a week since Turner...turned himself in
>Ugh fuck you brain
>And Octavia's been taking care of little Treble the best she can
>Since you and Vinyl are apparently a thing - 4 dates and counting - and since you're involved in the case, you kill two birds with one stone
>Check up on the child and hang out with your marefriend
>Working the system never felt so good
>A tiny hoof lightly kicks your abdomen
>Ok, not so good
>You roll him off your lap, and he giggles, running away to some other room of the apartment
"I'm not going to chase after you, yanno~"
>A high-pitched squeal is all you get in response
>Damn adorable tinyhorses
>"You know, I thought colts got foalcrazy AFTER marriage-"
"Shut up Vinyl."
>"But you just took to it like a duck to water-"
"Says the mare who volunteered us to watch after him while Octavia goes to practice-"
>"Shush."
>You sigh, reaching over to boop her nose
>She licks your finger
"Lewd horse-"
>"We are a proud and noble people-"
>You hear a distant giggle
"....go get him already-"
>"Ugh, ok! But if he goes under the bed again-"
"I'll make sure you don't get stuck-"
>"I was taking a STRATEGY REST." Vinyl clarifies, hopping off the couch and trotting down the hallway
>You watch her leave
>....I mean, you weren't no horsefucker when you got here
>But, those asses
>......you bite your knuckle slightly
>Well. And apparently you get multiple asses all to yourself?
>Stallions got this shit on lockdown
>Aaaand now your mind's wandering
>You sigh and look up at the ceiling
>>27181059
>Octavia didn't make the right choice
>Your afternoon right here is proving that
>I mean, you're C O M F Y right now, so you can't complain, but...
>....you were supposed to get dinner
>Then, dessert
>Then 'dessert', maybe, if she wanted to. 5th date is long enough, and Vinyl's been nothing but patient andteasing.
>But you're good to go to tap that ass
>Anyway
>Here you are, date 5, looking after a child that's not yours because their parent was too busy....
>Damn. You had hope.
>"Ablablablablaoonsoonsoonsoons-"
>"Yeah, little man! I'll cut that into my next track and give you credit-"
>The little earth pony colt, aglow in red magic, hovers over to you
>Aww, it's making mouthsounds
>You grab him and he's released from the magic into your hug
>"Nuuuuuhhhh~" Treble squirms
"Hmm, what?"
>"Caaayyooonnnnn~" he whines
"You can draw in here, ok?"
>"KAaaaaaayyy-"
"No, look at me-"
>Treble looks at you
>...good boy
"Draw in here, ok?"
>"Okay Misser anon."
"Ok."
>You let him down with a smile and he trots over to his playbag, rummaging around
>Suddenly there's another weight on your lap
>"Oh, Misser Anon~"
>You roll your eyes
"Vinyl, that is not sexy at all-"
>"Do you have a crayon I can play with, hmm~" She grins, grinding her hips into your lap
>You lean down with a smile
"You want to flirt with me infront of a child? You're a pervert-"
>"Says the one covered in clothing-"
"-and I didn't know foals got you hot-"
>"Ugh. Darn you, Anon, I don't want no kids right now-"
"Woah! Hey, someone's assuming I'm talking about having a baby with you! You don't know, I could have other mares-"
>Vinyl starts laughing, and you grumpily push her off
"Jerk."
>"Jurk!" Treble absentmindedly replies
"No, Treble honey, don't say that word"
>"Kaaay~" he agrees, sitting down to start coloring
>Vinyl hops onto the couch beside you this time, her eyes matching her smile. "Well... look at you, so good with kids-"
"Don't. They're like sponges, ok?"
>"Hmph. Fine...."
>>27181059
Not all colt write green m'lord
>>27178195
>no Shuk
>>27181260
That's why it's shit.
>>27181189
>The two of you fall into a warm silence.
>You sigh
>"What's up?"
"Mmm."
>"No no. None of that, what's up."
"I'm just disappointed in - in her."
>"You mean O-"
>You shush her with a look and headtilt to Treble
>"Aah, yes. Her. Why?"
>You motion around the apartment
"Cause we're here. Cause this is our fifth date, and our fourth was here too - twice in a week we're caring for him for the whole day."
>Vinyl purses her lips as you continue
"I just... I tried to give her a do-or-die moment and laid it all out for her, but... this is it. If I'm called to testify, I'm going to have to give my opinion that, ah, HE keeps him."
>"Babe."
>You blink and grin slightly
"Babe?"
>Vinyl huffs, blushing softly. "Shush, I was trying something, ok?!"
"Hah, sure."
>"A-anyway. Do you know why she's been gone on the regular this week?"
>You drape your arm across her back, stroking her barrel softly
"I can guess..."
* * *
>12:45
>You sigh, shifting on the court bench
>The clock marks the time, in it's own sweet time, and it's always so slow-
>He's taking more of your time, yet ag-
>No
>no no no, not going down that path. Not again.
>You inhale deeply, holding it in before you let it out
>Your colt is safe at home, being cared for by your .... friends
>You feel a little sad about that
>At first, with what he's done, you thought... maybe, you had a chance?
>But you could see it in Anon's eyes, when you talked to him
>When you tried to engage
>He wasn't judging you, but...
>No. It wasn't pity, it was just...
>You had other priorities now, and he saw that. It just took you a while to see that too.
>You focus on the tiled floor, letting your mind wander
>It's been a hectic week
>There's been a lot of work to do, a lot of scheduling and-
>The clock chimes, and your ears strain
>....he should be out of court by now. Should've - it should've ended at noon.
>why are you so impatient
>You shift on the bench, giving your front hooves a rest
>. . .
>>27179944
>Be new kingpin of Manehatten
>Man you be rolling in the money now, like deep rolling
>Turns out your new minions kinda like not having someone bossing them around who had mane care products for a brain
>In a week after your new status you plan the biggest heist of all pony time
>Get a couple of b list villains to cause some mayhem while you plan out a heist on every single bank in all of Manehatten at the same time
>All the superhero pones get tied up but one or two of your heists get thwarted by like a C-list superhero like Dare Mare or Katamare
>No biggie you get like every one else
>Use money to buy out a couple of the banks
>Make a few insider tradings and set up some pyramid schemes
>Wall Street crooking best crooking
>Suddenly B-listers get the best lawyers ever, get off scott free and get their cuts
>Get the whole kissing ring Godfather thing rolling among minions and lesser supervillains
>Don Vito be straight jelly with this shit right here
>Meanwhile things with fiance is kinda been straight bullshit lately
>She been coming home even later than usual from work
>Probably some B.S. Mare brings home the haybacon thing again
>We living in a mansion on my bits but she thinks she wears the 'horseshoes'
>Still adorable though, especially when she passed out on couch so often
>Noticed some bruises though, even if she is klutzy sometimes it has you a bit worried
>Maybe need to put some of your men on her
>If her boss J. Joneigh Jemstone at the Equestria Daily magazine hit Sunset even on accident I'm gonna cave that cunt's head in
>Swear on me mum
>Or better yet just buy the paper
>Shit hasn't been good since 2014 anyways
>>27181307
>A soft click snaps you out of your funk, and your head swivels down the hallway
>"-am, yes ma'am. Thank you again, ma'am."
>A brown flank exits the opened double-doors
>You know that flank
>....damnit
>Hitting yourself mentally, you straighten up as your Ex, Time Turner, leaves the courtroom
>He makes it a few steps before stopping, looking directly at you
>You stare at him
>. . .
>Fuck SAY SOMETHING
"Oh... ah... fancy meeting you here?"
>His ears go flat against his head
>Damnit
"Waitwaitwait-"
>"Are you here to rub lemon in my wound, Octavia? I have nothing to say to you-"
"I'm sorry."
>He stops talking and looks at you
"I uh.... I'm sorry."
>"I... heard you. What are you sorry for?"
>You hop off the bench, shaking out the pins and needles
"Ah... want to... want to take a walk? To the park, maybe?"
>"....alright."
* * *
"So... well...here we are."
>"Yeah."
>You're sitting on the bench together, in the park on a lovely spring day
>By all rights, you're a couple
>Yet, the maximum distance between you two tells otherwise
>"So. You're sorry."
>You sigh and swallow your pride
"Yeah... I... a friend of mine pointed out to me what I was ... putting first. What I have been putting first in my life."
>"Your damn music."
>You feel the heat rise, but you tamp it down
>Be the bigger pony
"My...music, yes. And I realized that I wasn't..."
>You look at him now
>Really look at him
>He's not a bloodsucker
>He's not living high on the cob
>He's in flankfuck, equestria, lying to make ends meet
>And on this bench, curled up on his side, he really looks alone
"I wasn't fair to you. Or to Treble. I told myself I was doing this to provide for you, to provide for us, but I left you out of the conversation. When you filed, I didn't... it didn't even register to me."
>He shifts to face you now, studying you
>Don't fuck this up
"So... you left, I came home, and it hit me - what, well. What I lost. And that's why I'm here, really."
>>27181434
I'm feeling feels that doesn't originate from my pelvis.
I am okay with this.
>>27181514
>Inb4 sorry fucks
>>27181434
>"You want another chance-"
"No-"
>"Just because you apologized, you think I"ll welcome you back with open hooves?! Nothing's changed, Octavia! You'll start tou-"
"I've changed my schedule."
>"Oh, so what, now you get to hold onto Treble a little longer instead of-"
"I'm not touring."
>Time Turner's mouth opens and closes a few times, but no sound comes out
>You swallow again, steeling yourself
"I'm...I'm not a perfect mare, and I was not a perfect wife or alpha, and I shirked my duties. I'm playing catch-up here, and I'm not used to being in that position. Ever."
>You face him, and look him in the eyes
"I'm... trying. That's all I'm doing, I'm trying. Just like I do with my cello, I'm trying with my son - our son. And I'm not asking for you back - I don't think you want me, and I don't know what I want - but I do know that our son deserves better, and I'm going to give it to him."
>Why are you breathing so hard
>"So..." Turner softly says, tilting his head to the side. "...what do you want from me?"
"I...can we try something?"
>"What?"
"Can... can we try being friends again? If not for our sake, at least for his?"
>Time Turner, the afternoon sun hitting his mane, making it shimmer with hidden golden strands, smiles softly and nods.
>And it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
=====>"Honey, I'm hom-here~"
>You smile softly at Turner's slip, and at the excited ball of energy that careens into his legs, making them buckle
>"anthendrawedanringswithfuntiahan-"
>"Yes, yes, ok ok ok. Let me hold you, foal, let me hold you for a moment~"
>Sitting down, your... friend holds your son tightly, peppering him with kisses
>You turn to look away... and notice something odd
>The couch is blocking the hallway
"Sweetie? Where is Aunty Vinyl and Uncle Anon?"
>Your innocent colt looks up at you with bright, shining eyes.
>"Dey sayed gon' fuck like minxes cause dat ass don kwit."
>Time Turner dry-heaves as your eyes twitch, violently
THE END
>>27179322
>>27179446
>>27179589
>>27179727
>>27179855
>>27179963
>>27180165
>>27180274
>>27180368
>>27180439
>>27181059
>>27181189
>>27181307
>>27181434
>>27181567
AND DONE. FUK.
Pastebin updated: http://pastebin.com/NeEq9VCT
Spread it to the other Octy/Vinylfags out there. I liked writing for 'em, and might do so again, except probablymuch more lewdly.
>>27179322
>>You stand at the front of the park, watching the little anklebiters frolic without a care
>>....how dare they enjoy life
kek
>>27180736Fuuuuuuug you!
>Waiting for the fire to reach that peak temperature you hum to yourself a famlier tune.
“Bump, ba bump da bum…”
>Bobbing your head to the tune you fail to notice two shadows slowly growing larger as they approach.
>You had just laid down some of the cutlets on the stones to cook properly when you hear a scratchy voice, “Hey Anon! Wh- is that the meat?”
>”Smells fresh, when’d you get it Anon?” Another familiar voice pitches in as your turn to look seeing Twilight and Rainbow coming for a landing next to your little camp fire.
“So, you’re alright with this Rainbow?”
>Stirring the coals of the fire you keep an eye on the duo, Rainbow nods coming to take a seat next to you, “Of course, I have a bit from time to time, Gilda…” Rainbow stops herself and scrunches up.
>”Eh, maybe you should leave that alone Rainbow Dash, but Anon where did you find all that meat? I thought you said it was expensive?” Twilight asks before looking over at the picnic table, “Oh is that potato salad? I love that stuff!”
“Help yourself, Applejack and Pinkie Pie went to get some marshmallows and carrot dogs. Apparently they were wanting to have more pony friendly grill things.”
>Shifting in your seat you look over at Rainbow who is drooling at the meat.
“So, how come you are fine with meat Twilight, but the others weren’t as keen on it.”
>Rainbow is too busy watching the meat cook as Twilight takes a seat beside you with a small plate of potato salad, “I don’t know about you, but I learned to stomach it from princess training.”
“Princess training?”
>>27181677
>Scooping a bite of the potato salad Twilight chews before answering with a small blush, “Oh, well Princess Celestia wanted me to learn more about national diplomacy. Griffons and Minotaurs both like to feast and use the sharing of food to let each side they were there in good faith.”
“That’s interesting, but wh-”
>Twilight makes a small face, “Most of the items at the feasts are meat. After the first few you get used to it really.”
“Ah, well that’s cool to hear, you got any more stories about Princess training we might want to hear?”
>Rainbow snaps out of her meat trance at the hint of juicy stories, “Yeah, I bet Princess Celestia has you training to kick all kinds of butt with your alicorn magic I bet!”
>Twilight merely leans back at the both of you questioning her for a story, “Uh, w-well I...I wouldn’t quite say that.”
“Come on can’t have been all that bad.”
>Rainbow chips in for the assist, “Yeah! What’s Celestia have you doing on those trips of yours anyway?”
>Twilight sighes before she shovels down a good portion of her potato salad to avoid your questions.
>>27181687
>Yet you don’t let up your stare.
>You can feel her soul slowly shrink within itself as you hold eye contact with her.
>Sorry Twiggy, you’re not getting out of this now.
>Resolute Twilight simply continues to eat, though her motions are slowing as Rainbow adds on her own expectant gaze.
>You just raise an eyebrow at the mare before she finally breaks, swallowing down her latest potato based victim the mare coughs to clear her throat, “Well there was a time when I was practicing Moosian etiquette an-”
>”Oh come on Twilight, why does it matter if you use a tiny fork for something?”
>Twilight fluffs her wings out in aggrivation, “I /was/ getting to that, so turns out when you drink from the horned cup that they provide you, that’s an insult so grave that the only way to resolve it is by a trial by combat.”
“Wait, what? What in the world prompted that kind of response?”
>”Twilight, thats...that’s awesome!”
>A small dab of magic flick’s Rainbow’s snout, “No that’s not awesome as the duel includes everything that the two contests own and have control over, so if I were to duel somepony I would be commiting Equestria to war!”
>”O-oh…” Down hearted Rainbow slowly calms down before Twilight turns to you, “The custom started a long time ago when a king started the practice of by saying all those who drank would be declared their enemy as the drink inside is supposed to be a representation of drinking the blood of your enemies.”
“How did that work to stop him from being killed then?”
>>27181567
Well it's true. VINYL'S ASS DON'T QUIT!You owe me a pair of slightly used sides.
>>27181699
>”Simple, there was a charm in the horns that encouraged those who plotted against the king to drink it. The magic behind the idea is gone for the most part as it’s more of a custom to visiting nations of what the tone of each visit would be like.”
>Leaning forward you flip some of the meat and adjust the rocks as they cook.
“Well, learn something new everyday then.”
>”Man Anon, I’d propose to you right now if you cooked this well everyday!”
>Turning you look to see Rainbow at the pasta salad already picking through the food with her own plate.
>Shivering at a bite the pegasus unfurls her wings as they twitch in delight, a low hum escaping the mare.
“Easy now, don’t want to lead my poor coltish heart astray would you?”
>”Rainbow Dash you stop that right now! A colt’s heart is fragile!”
>”Oh relax Twilight, what are you a sunhat tipper?”
>”N-No! Of course not! Only basement dwelling tuft beards do that!”
“I’m missing something here aren’t I?”
>Whirling around to look at you Twilight beams that smile of hers.
>You know the one.
>The I Really Hope He Won’t Notice smile.
>You can tell because this little horse had stolen your boxers one time for ‘research purposes’ you never did get them back.
>”N-nothing at all Anon! Uh, hey look it’s Rarity!”
>”Twilight, come on he’s not tha-”
“Oh hey Rarity, pop a squat.”
>”That worked?!”
>”That worked?!”Spoiled anons wanting all this green and for what? For what I say!
>>27181624
You..you used my title suggestion?
>>27181624
>>27181567
Oh god damn it, Anon! Vinyl is already a corruptible influence! Reign her in already!
>>27181712
I hope this leads to Anon enjoying beef short ribs or a slow smoked brisket.
>>27181777
>Reign her in already!
That may be what she's angling for.
>Equestrian job markets are a finicky thing to tell the truth.
>When you got to horseland you focused on the basic things needed for survival.
>Food, shelter, and work.
>The shelter was easy enough, males of the pony kind were seen as the fairer sex here, so getting assistance in finding a place was a cakewalk.
>Finding a job was a bit more difficult.
>No job = no food
>Not having a flank-stamp narrowed the possible jobs severely, and on top of that was the fact that you had no degree or thing of that sort.
>Suffice it to say, finding something you could do wasn’t an easy task.
>By pure chance and a dash of sexism (you showed the mare at the agency a bit of sock) you did finally manage to find a job.
>It wasn’t anything spectacular but it brought the money home.
>And this is a story of all about how you became the janitor at Baltimare high school.
>And at the moment you’re fighting a losing battle against a lot of vomit.
>From the mumbles all around you got the gist of what went down.
>Some filly got a full eye of one of the colts junk, prompting her to somehow have a massive nosebleed
>fucking weeboo ponies, they even infest this world.
>The sight of blood caused everyone in the nearby vicinity to hurl their guts out.
>And today was spicy chili day.
>God how you hated spicy chili day.
>Grabbing the spray bottle off your cart you just unscrewed the top and dumped the contents on the slightly moving mass of vomit.
>You’d have sworn you heard a hiss coming from it for a second before it started sizzling.
>Concentrated sodium bisulfate with lemon juice and vinegar.
>If this didn’t take care of it you didn’t know what would.
>”Mr. Anon!”
>Scrubby scrubby die you bastard.
>”Mr. Anon we need your help!”
>Oh what fresh hell is this now?
>>27182071
Anon is The Janitor.
I am intrigued....
This.
This is the face of a man who knows what it's like to live in RGRE.
>>27182142
I thought the temporarily turning into an alicorn thing was a bit much
>>27182071
>”We can’t go to the bathroom!”
“You do realize I’m a janitor not a horse physician, you should probably go talk to the nurse about that.”
>Fucking horses, you save the world one time! One fucking time! and they all decide to bring up their problems to you.
>”No Mr. Anon, someone locked the bathroom door!” The little colt was jumping from side to side.
>Oh you knew that dance, and you didn’t nip this in the bud you’d be cleaning another mess.
“Alright then, lead the way.”
>Leaving the vomit, which you could’ve sworn started laughing menacingly, you followed the youngin.
“How long has it been locked?” you asked following the colt.
>”We waited for about ten minutes.”
>Rounding the corner you realized what level of shit you were about to get into.
>A long line of colts was waiting to use the bathroom, some doing the shuffle, some looked as if they were going to pop.
>This could end really badly, and you’d be stuck with the clean up.
>Walking past the line you came up to the door, which indeed was locked judging by the fact that it didn’t just swing open when you tried pushing it.
>Pulling out your key ring you searched for the right one.
>”Please hurry!”
“Yeah yeah, don’t rush me here.”
>After a few unsuccessful tries you finally found the right one, unlocking the door you heard cheers behind you.
>You knew deep down that somehow this would get blown out of proportions and you’d get a visit from some annoying royalty.
“Everyone wait here, let me check everything is fine before you all rush in.”
>Pushing the door it swung inwards and you stepped through.
>”Come on lets do another one!”
>Do another what now?
>”Shhh colt, relax this is supposed to be a mellow thing.”
>Two colts were snorting lines of what looked like… drugs? They had drugs here?
>Huh, who knew?
“Hello there.”
>Almost comically both their heads turned slowly in your direction.
>You just smiled.
>>27181799
Also, "rein." Like horse reins.
>>27182216
>You knew they were boned, they knew they were boned.
“Both of you go wait outside, and don’t try to run off or it’ll only be worse.”
>Both walked out, heads hung low and ears folded down in shame.
>Walking up to the illicit “drugs” you crouched down.
>A white powder lay on top of what was one of their books.
>Dipping a finger into the white crystal like powder you brought it up to your nose and gave it a careful sniff.
>Wait is this?
>Putting the finger in your mouth you tasted it.
>The sweet and tangy flavor assaulted your taste buds.
>Pixie sticks
>They were snorting pixie sticks
>You didn’t know that horseland had these, those were some of your favorite candies back home.
---
Had the idea for this for a day or so and finally got around to writing it.
>>27182270
Unsurprisingly enough, back in middle school I had classmates who actually tried to snort pixie sticks.
>>27181624
Well done. Life's complicated.
It's been 5+ threads since I've started working on my story for this thread. I'm not sure if I'm slow or you guys move REALLY fucking fast.
>>27182352
RGRE is one of the most active threads on this board, still slower than mlp General but still averages a new thread every day or two
>>27179177
>>...I swear if she keeps going through towels, I'm going to shut off the internet! I'll do it! I'll call up the internet and turn it off!
>You watch as BNW goes to your desktop, right-clicks on "google chrome", and selects "delete" from the drop-down menu.
>Satisfied and with a smug smirk on his face, BNW walks out of your room.
>You wait a full ten minutes before you go back to masturbating.
>>27179934
>pic
Again with the fucking roleplay.
>>27179231
>>that akward uncle that always brings the booze and hits on the mom?
>>uncle
>>hits on the mom
That might actually be me, depending on which side of the family the uncle comes from.
>>27181059
>"Lewd horse-"
>>"We are a proud and noble people-"
Ayy
>>27181624
Gooood shit BNW, another awesome green. Now we need some more green/details on Anon and Vinyl.cuz dat ass
>>27182295
I knew a guy who snorted salt once
>>27179963
I've never felt anger 180 so quickly into sympathy. You've reminded me that generally speaking, there's no such thing as bad people; only bad circumstances.
>>27182739
>there's no such thing as bad people; only bad circumstances
>>27182800
>bad circumstances
He lived in Milwaukee; he counts.
>>27181059
>>"I was taking a STRATEGY REST."
kek
>>27179177
Go to your room BNW
>>27182920Do you know what he does up there? Do you KNOW what he DOES?
>>27181260
Much like BNW is the black-shirt man's crotch, I see no reason why Shuk cannot be the dad's penis as well.
>>27182933
I'd rather him do it up there rather than in the living room. While we have guest. While he's wearing that chicken suit.
>>27182950
God I HATE this family.
>>27182950
STOP REPRESSING ME, CO-DAD. THIS IS WHO I AM, THIS IS THE REAL MEEEEE-
>>27182739
Thanks. I'm glad I could toy with your emotions. But that's exactly what I wanted to do - I wanted to write a story where there were no heroes and no villains, just people who are tryin' their best.
>>27182721
booty don't quit. I'll get to it when I get to it... or if I ever feel like writing porn again.
>>27182680
ayyy
>>27182544
You get me.
>>27182800
jeff is a qt3.14
>>27181799
What's the point of blinders if Vinyl can't walk? It's almost as if Octavia can't into horse.
>>27182800
>>generally speaking
>>27183063
For the sake of authenticity, of course.
Besides, the less she sees the more sensitive her other senses become.
>>27183063
You're adorable.
>>27181624
Good shit, BNW. I knew I liked you for a reason. I like how your story didn't just end with "and then they kissed and made up and everything was fine", and I ESPECIALLY liked how you didn't turn one side into the irredeemable devil-monster who lives and breathes spite and hatred.You deserve your spot on black-shirt man's crotch.
>>27183006
Hey! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. I'm the mom in this relationship, which depending on the situation means that I either bring home the horsebacon or I can withhold the horsesex. I'm fine with either one, quite frankly.Also, "P-O-R-N" is a bathroom word and I don't want to hear you saying it, understood?
>>27183155
FUCK i forgot to namefag. My raging autism is slightly more obvious now.
>>27183164
Pluggo, I don't mean to alarm you, but I think you may have autism.
>>27183172
Given where we are, I think all of us here have the autism.
>>27183172
HOW DID YOU KNOW
>>27183214
Reasons, now take that adderall pill and crank out that green like the meat robot you are.
>>27183214
It takes one to know one, thats how.
>>27182295
Try snorting some of that kool-aid powder. It burns like a motherfucker for ten minutes at least. I got dared in eighth grade to do a line of that shit and the entire rest of the day was hell.
>>27183288
Fun Dip is the shit, brah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPdtEJ7_oIA
bumpytime
>>27183870
>People who bump from page 7
This triggers the anon. All it does is fill up the thread with extra bumps. It takes about hour for a thread to fall to page 7 usually, but at least 2-3 before it reaches page 10. So bumps on 7 lead to twice as many wasted posts as the thread needs.
>>27183908
I am replying to this post to spite you, and your autism.
>>27183225
K-kay....
>>27183233
Oh snapizzle.
So I thought I'd contribute to this green train we've got going.
#cantstopwontstop
-----
Continued from: http://pastebin.com/z353QYvn
Last time: hot a what baabhabhiat
"So, uh, Rarity. You know those gems you wanted?"
>You give the sack you've got draped over your shoulder a gentle heft, drawing Rarity's uncomfortable attention away from you.
>She isn't saying anything.
"The ones from Applejack's farm?"
>She's still silent.
>Does she want these gems or not?
>You bend down and snap your fingers in front of her face a couple of times.
"Oi. Rarity, look alive."
>Rarity snaps to attention and takes a few steps back into her house/shop.
>"Oh! Oh, yes, of course. Please come inside, Anonymous."
>Her face takes on a red hue, and her gaze flicks down towards your crotch a few times.
>"P-please, come inside..."
>Sexy.
>That was sarcasm, by the way.
>You were being sarcastic.
>You aren't the type of man to get a hard man-penis when you spot another not-human creature's no-no place.
>"Give them to me and I'll put them in the back room, Anonymous."
>She grabs the bag of gems in her magic and begins to walk away froOH hey that sure is a horse pussy
>Jesus take the wheel.
>Those lips look big and puffy enough to grab and hold onto something.
>"Oh, and be a dear and remove your shoes before you go any further, Darling. I would HATE-"
>She squirts a little bit on her floor.
>You feel equal parts aroused and disgusted.
>"-for you to make a mess on my floors."
>fuck.
>FUCK.
>Dammit, Anon, you made ONE PROMISE to yourself when you arrived in Equestria, and that was that you would NEVER become a horsefucker!
>Nobody told you life was gonna be this wayclap clap clap-clap
>You think it's time to leave now, please.
>No sooner did you think this did the front door slam closed and loudly lock.
>Is this how you die?
>>27184008
>"Oh, and Dear?"
>Rarity's voice cuts through the silence of the room.
>"You smell and dress like a brute. I would most appreciate it if you were to make use of my facilities."
>She chuckles seductively, stepping just out of sight.
>"You may also use my bathroom to wash up.
>Oh, snap.
>.....
>You're going to hell after tonight, aren't you?
------
>You are Anon, from the distant year of five minutes later.
>As per Rarity's instructions, you've left your awful worth clothes outside the bathroom door.
>You were promised a nice bathrobe after you were done cleaning up, but you've been on the receiving end of a "Clothing Liberation" group more than once, and your "let's get Anon naked" sense is tingling.
>You don't play no horse games, so you've remained stubborn.
>You mean, you never actually intended on walking around all naked and shit, but you've made sure not to leave that issue on the table at all to begin with.
>And so, you gaze upon Rarity's shower and try to figure out what mysteries await you.
>You have so many questions.
>What are these knobs for?
>Why are there three of them?
>.....and what does the GREEN one do?
>You reach out and turn the blue one and, surprise surprise, cold water comes out.
>Using your human genius, you surmise that the red one makes hot water come out.
>You step into the hot spray and nearly moan out loud at the feeling of dirt and sweat practically peeling off of you in gross mushy layers.
>That's about when you realize that you can't find any soap or shampoo or whatever it is horses use to clean themselves.
>What are you supposed to do now?
>You don't know the social conventions of using a friend's shower in a house that isn't your own.
>You never even POOPED at a friend's house if you could manage it.
>You give the shower box another once-over in case you overlooked some kind of pony-hight cleaning device, but all you can see that's out of the ordinary is the green knob.
>>27176258
>MLH also follows the same gender norms of RGRE
How meta would it be for RGRE pone to browse RGRE(Reversed Gender Roles Earth), where males are the dominant gender on /mlh/?
>>27184023
>You know what? Fuck it.
>Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
>You give the green job a mighty turn and OHGSGHGLGUHGLUHGHG
>CHRISTFUCK
>Bubbles overwhelm your vision and, confronted by a superior foe, you panic and begin to flail your limbs around a bit.
>End result: you slip and fall like a dingus.
>You lay on the floor of a tiny shower tub thing, bubbles invading your most private of no-no places, and you accept defeat.
>You can only wonder where your life went so wrong.
>More importantly: why this pony has an attack module in her shower.
>Life must be hell when you expect to be assaulted in your own bathroom.
>There's a knock on the bathroom door, jarring you out of your thoughts.
>"Anonymous? Are you quite alright, Darling?"
>Fucksticks.
>You push yourself up into a sitting position and wait for the water to wash away the bubblesand your shame.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine, Rarity."
>"That's a top-of-the-line model I had imported from Canterlot, Anonymous. I know that stallions can sometimes have trouble figuring out new things for themselves, and I'm EVER SO certain that I've thrown away the user manual."
>The door creaks open just a crack.
>The fuck does she think she's doing?
"Rarity? We've spoken about this sort of thing."
>The door halts its progress and a whine can be heard through the new opening.
>"Oh, why must you be so stubborn, Anonymous? I don't know what the other humans said to you, but you have NOTHING to be ashamed of, Darling. I'm sure your body is just BEAUTIFUL."
>There's a pause because you refuse to give Rarity the satisfaction of a response.
>Slowly; VERY slowly, Rarity's muzzle pokes in through the crack.
>"Who hurt you, Anonymous?"
>Fuck's sake, Rarity.
So, finals are chewing my ass.
What've I missed?
>>27184040
"Good-BYE, Rarity."
>You step out of the shower and gently close the door, giving the mare plenty of time to remove her muzzle from the opening.
>You think you're done with this shower now.
>"And before I forget...."
>With a flash of light and the feeling of pressure that comes from displaced air, a bundle of clothing descends upon the floor by your feet.
>Upon further inspection,these are loafers.you have been provided by with a housecoat.
>It's pink and frilly.
>You're going to slap that pony the next time you see her.
-------------
That's it for tonight, y'all. I need to get my beauty sleep so I'm cutting it off here.
>>27184046
A little autism here and there, also Booty.
>>27184052
Nighty night, Pluggo, don't forget to lube up before bed.
>>27184046
We got some quiet time and then LaP posted a bunch, then BNW came back and then a beautiful family portrait was posted.
>>27184024
>"No, you guys, take a look at the American presidents. They're all male. Most firemares and ponice mares are male and the majority of human politicians are men. Clearly MLH takes place in a PATRIARCHY."
>>"its such bullshit the show is pushing a stallionist agenda"
>>27184024
>You will never befriend a weeaboo human and discuss games with him
>Celestia-damnit, Dingyoldwritefriend has not updated her greens in forever!
>Can anypony finish Amore Grimm?
>Trump a shit
>>27184060
I always do, Anon.
I always do.
>>27184081
>>>"its such bullshit the show is pushing a stallionist agenda"
Has anyone ever here complained about the show's "Matriarchy"?
>>27184136
Yes
>>27184136
All the time. A few threads ago some anon posted an article about how all the male characters are either villains, physical labour, or existing to springboard other female characters.
>>27184227
Also, Spike. Just . . . fuck
>>27181624
well glad that's over.
now we just need some dragon waifu rgre
please someone, anyone
>>27184136
There's no evidence whatsoever of a matriarchy in the show, it's pretty damn clear they are gender-egalitarian. Neither gender has been portrayed as advantaged or dominant, there are no real gender roles to speak of and we've seen ponies of both genders in all walks of life, careers, etc, and they pretty much have perfect gender equality, both de-jure and de-facto.
The current alicorns being female means you could technically refer to the top of their government as a 'matriarchy', if you want to be a pedantic shit, but that definition is the same one that could apply to the UK, and it's hardly meaningful. Alicornhood is based on merit and being a good ruler, which is a completely gender-neutral thing, so obviously either gender would be able to become one, or their legitimacy would be destroyed. Starswirl likely almost did, but he didn't understand friendship, which Celestia mentioned herself.
Quite frankly, anyone who thinks that one gender is being portrayed as dominant or advantaged in any way in the show either doesn't pay attention to it or is an inbred retard. Articles such as the one that >>27184227 mentioned are complete and unfounded nonsense.
Could the writers feature the male characters more? Sure, but keep in mind that female side characters do not get any more screentime than the male ones. One thing for certain is that the show has never portrayed either gender as superior, and it's pretty clear that Equestria has a society, economy, culture in general, etc that is completely gender-egalitarian.
As I mentioned in the previous thread though, that's not the point. Canon Equestria has gender equality, both de-jure and de-facto. And there aren't any gender roles in the first place. The Equestria this general writes about though is an alternate universe that is extremely different than the canon one and is ultimately not compatible with the canon at all.
>>27184751
Ultimately though, as I've said before, I think those of you who enjoy this general aren't here to develop delusions about the canon setting, you're here to read and write green and what-if scenarios, and in this case it's involving a clear AU. Not unusual for fanfiction and greentexts to delve into AUs, another clear example on /mlp/ being FO;E.
>>27184765
Also, I'm tired as shit, and I think it's affecting my ability to concentrate, so I'll be going now. If someone replies, I won't be able to get back to you until whenever I wake up.
Adios, and apologies for the wall of text.
>>27184046
Some strangers pretending to be everyone's parents. Moms and Dad told me not to open the door.
Also idk what you missed, but I missed BUGWIFE
>>27184040
>>"Who hurt you, Anonymous?"
Dress horse best horse
>>27184081
TOO META! TOO META!
I'm freaking out.
>>27184040
>>"Who hurt you, Anonymous?"
awww rarity
>>27185037
How does a protective Rarity sound?
>>27182295
>tried to snort pixie sticks
Good for you. In my school kids snorted Paracetamol. Cus you know Vicodin had it.
>>27184040
>>"Who hurt you, Anonymous?"
That's a caring mare.
>>27185320
Very.
>>27185320
It's like she understands that nobody could have hurt him in the shower, but her first, uncontrollable reaction is to protect and avenge
>>27185387
Those lips do not belong on a pony.
>>27185474
It's the only thing that I don't like in that picture.
>>27184046
Pluggo is turning tricks for positive comments; it's totally worth it.
BNW has become a camwhore; it's terrifying.
LaP is in denial.
Venus' Dad remains remarkably well adjusted.
>>27185397
would waifu
>>27185943
Excuse you, all of the mane six are good mares.
>>27185387
oh CHRIST get that thing away from me
Jesus, that's TERRIFYING. Look at it. Look at its eyes and TELL ME it doesn't already knows your secrets. This is how I die, Anon.
>>27185848
I bet she is actually 300% marely but has to keep on the metrosexual appearances.
I bet 1000 years ago she would be deusvulting full time.
>>27186121
DEUS
>>27186160
AVE CELESTIA, ET LUX IN TENEBRIS LUCET!
>>27186121
>>27186160
>you will never retake constantineighple with celestia
>>27179322
>Thankfully, the pagoda is asleep, so you can approach it without fear
"I CAST MAGIC MISSILE ON THE GONG!"
>>27185504
>dat perspective
Why, yes, yes I do have a size disparity fetish. Thank you very much.
>>27180695
Update faster will you? Unless you update at the speed of molasses like me, I think you'll be fine.
>>27186224Abdominal bulge.
>>27186224
I think most everyone does.
>>27181799
Is it just me or does Vinyl look like she has downs.
>>27186249>inb4 I get banned because reasons that were made up
>>27186285
Well I don't see any genitals but that doesn't guarantee safety.
>>27186249
>spoiler
Contender for the best thing ever.
>>27186285
>>27186295
Nothing to worry about : he is clearly performing the Heimlich maneuver, slightly modified because pegasus' biology.
>>27186359
theyre so small and fragile you cant squeeze their midsection
you have to push on their diaphragm
with your dick
>>27186359
Oh, okay.
>>27186384
hhng
>>27186285
>>27186384
They look like they're having so much fun
>>27186169
ich bin ein sonnen
>>27186384
>>27186285
>Anon makes a living wrestling ponies
>Anon is challenged by mares quite obviously interested in him
>is somehow convinced to wrestle nude
>beginspoundingandslammingponies on the mat
>Ponies slip out of his holds
>must be the oil
>it's not
>it really is not
>>27186369
>>27184985
>>27185037
>>27185260
>>27185320
>>27185387
>>27185397
>>27185848
Oh, shit. I was going for comically condescending, but I somehow produced waifu material.
>>27185387
>>27185474
>>27185504
I think so too, so I fixed it myself.
>>27186487
holy shit it might actually be creepier
>>27186434
Internal massage for fertility aid.
>>27186472
>"somehow"
You did that on purpose.
>>27186446
THRUST ANON
THRUST TO SAVE HER LIFE SHES CHOKING AND MAKING STRANGE NOISES
KEEP THRUSTING
>>27186384
>>27186392
Best hoers in a non-princess role.
>>27184992
kek
It's just the facts. Thanks for the meme though.
>>27186487
muh uncanny valley
>>27186487
Nice edit.
>>27186549
Yes, it's just the facts.
>>27186487
That thing wants to eat my skin. That's how it's stayed alive all these centuries.
>>27186586
It's the truth, the natural conclusion to observing the show, or simply just the canon. Whichever way you want to phrase it that doesn't sound so hipster or whatever.
>>27186602
So is it like a vampire?
Seriously though, that kind of art style easily falls into the trap of uncanny valley, so I dunno if you can completely remove the potentially creepy element without much more extensive edits.
>>27186472
>>27184985
I just really appreciate how ridiculously forward she's being, in a teasing manner. Reminds me of the way some good writefags write Anon when he's being comedically audacious.
>>27186472
I'm reading this again and shit, the girl has game.
Is this how you pick up women, Pluggo?by forcing them into a shower and then forcing yourself in?
>>27186497
I generally find anytime an artist tries to depict a pony's mouth in a realistic, three-dimensional manner, it usually falls in the uncanny valley.
>>27186671
i wonder why
>>27186497
I think it's rather good.
>>27186224
M O L E S T
O
L
E
S
T
>>27186927
>"Observe as I demonstrate how to properly handle this fully-loaded pone-rifle. Here you can see that the rear-left leg operates as the safety switch."
>>27187248
>not toggling her button
>>27187248
"Huh, I guess she really is piston operated."
>>27187332
"Reloading!"
>"Ahh~"
>>27187357
The issue with the ponerifles are that they get too wet to fire after prolonged usage.
>>27187357
"Now, in the event that you need to do remedial action, remember your acronym: SPORTS."
"Slap."
>A meaty smack reverberates through the air.
>"Uh!"
"Pull"
>"Celestia, yes!"
"Observe"
>You rotate the pone in your hand and take a good look at her ejaction port.
>"D-don't look!"
"Release"
>"So. . . close."
"Tap."
>"Hnnmnrgg."
"Squeeze."
>"AaaaaaAAAAAHHHH!"
>As your pony raifu pants in your arms, drenched, you turn to the crowd.
"Questions?"
>"We believe we require remedial actions as well."
>"You and me both, sister."
>>27187413
Apply the OD (orgasm denial) method to raifu.
>>27187474
"And now we can discuss the four safety rules of ponerifle handling."
>You grip Ponerifle under her armpits and sit her down on your lap.
>Once she's secure, you reach down and grab her sex firmly.
>"Hnng!"
"Rule one: Treat each pone as if it were loaded. You don't want any ammo releasing and making a mess. You may find yourself in a situation where every round counts."
>Tightening your grip on Ponerifle, you tug her securely against your chest.
>"O-oh! B-be gentle!"
"Rule two: Never point your pone at anything you do not intend to shoot. Notice how I can keeping the pone in an upright position and firmly against my body."
>Using the hand cupping her pussy, you feel around for her winking clit. When you find it, you lay your finger just off to the side of it.
>"A-anon, PLEASE don't tease me~"
"Rule three: Keep your hoof straight and off the trigger until you are ready to fire. The trigger is VERY sensitive and fiddling with it just a little bit may be enough to set it off. I've seen many sticky messes that resulted from a ponerifle going off while cleaning it."
>You demonstrate by rubbing Ponerifle's clit vigorously, causing her to moan and squirm in your grip.
"As you can see, the ponerifle has already entered a primed and ready state and can fire at will. The unstable structure means that it can discharge in any direction.
>"buck buck buck!"
"Rule four: Keep your weapon on safe until you intend to fire."
>With that, you remove your hand from between Ponerifle's legs and firmly grip her rear-left leg.
>With a jerk, you set it into the proper safety position.
>Ponerifle's rump slams onto your crotch, and the sudden jarring pushes her over the edge.
>"buck buck buCK BUCK BUC-Ahh! A-Anon!"
>You sit calmly and wait for the rile to cool down.
>You don't want to overheat it and risk damage.
"Your ponerifle is now safe and ready to either be used, or put into storage."
>You jerk your head to your right, where a spotlight illuminates a cozy-looking bed.
>>27187674
Swab your ponerifle regularly.
I thought this was the gay horse thread entirely because of Caramel being the OP pic.
>>27187674
kek
both silly and sexy
>>27187474
>>27187674
>Autism
>>27187710
Nope different thread.
>>27187710
I wonder how often do stallins in RGRE get confused for colt-cuddles.
>>27186472
You'll have to do a lot better than that to make Rarity not lovable.
>>27187721
>not taking proper care of your ponerifle
>>27187721
Pluggo back at it again with forgetting to namefag. Go to sleep.
>>27187332
>not direct impingement
>>27187674
>tfw I imagine this when using my guns anyway
Now teach us dissambly and cleaning.
>>27187893
Clitoris circumcision? That's a thing in middle eastern countries.
>>27181567
Hey, wait a minute!
Nice try, BNW, but you can't retcon my hatred so easily.
Let's not forget the actual facts:
Time Turner not only committed willful fraud, but he also intentionally and openly lied about his relationship with Octavia in order to destroy her reputation and get more sympathy.
>I was abused! Wah wah wah lie lie lie.
He bitchilly degrades her in public and in front of her son and demands she see him as little as physically possible. Hardly sounds like someone who simply had a disagreement over priorities.
And not only that, his argument doesn't make sense.
>She's only making us money but is never around, and so I will ... divorce her, take her wages, and move away - and end up in exactly the same situation but with less money and in a crappier house.
Maybe it would make some sense on Earth, but this is Equestria - there's nothing keeping Time Turner from adding another wife to his herd if he needed to.
If his claims are true, then that would have been the logical and Equestrially-correct solution, getting more herdmates to handle the home while Octavia is out making mad dosh.
>>27187915
thats kinda hot
>>27187931
If you ignore the possibility of infection and less pleasure during sex.
>>27187931
It's not.
>>27187921