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Anon's pie adventure.
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 170
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old thread:>>27122158

tumblr archive:
http://marble-pie.tumblr.com/tagged/apa/
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FIRST
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>>27171296
Ah shit forgot the eye layer in panel 2. Fixed here.
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>>27171296
You may want to give Mascara her eyes back in the 2nd panel
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>>27171296
This is going to be a good thread
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>>27171296
wew lad
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>>27171296
That sound like made up bullshit just to get laid with anon...
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>>27171296
That 5th panel is going to cause one hell of a shit storm.
I CANT WAIT!
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>>27171296
pony+sex with human=alicorn
make total sense
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>>27171324
Am i seeing crotchtits in the fifth panel on my christian board?
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>>27171324
>>27171296
mooods
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>>27171362
>>27171374
>being this tumblr
I hope you get raped by a pack of feral niggers
>>
>>27171296
Anon knew it was time to cum inside the little pony
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>>27171296
>more alicorns
LITEREALLY FUCK YOU
>>
>>27171408
This has been over 80 pages long joke on the expense of M.A. Larson. Please respect my dedication.
>>
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>Sex creates another alicorn, albeit temporarily
>Twilight loses her shit as it undermines her "reward" and goes against everything she's learned
>mfw
Please let there be a scene with Twilight or any other Princess' reaction if we go this route, based Pencils.
>>27171422
I understandu
>>
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>>27171422
Continue on then, sir.
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>>27171362
its the left front leg...
>>
>>27171296
Gonna offer some suggestions, just little things really.

Semi-colons are the red-headed step child of English, so if any Englishfags disagree with me, especially on this first line, speak up, for the comic's sake.

>She collected all kinds of books even the royal library doesn't hold copies of[;] books on history and archaeology.

>The issue is that Anon doesn't know how to cast spells, so he has no way to actually deplete his magic[.] Even if could cast spells he wouldn't be able to keep up with the magic build-up[,] and would go crazy in the end[,] regardless.

>...allowing the act to reduce the total amount of magic in [the] human by binding it into the pony.

>Wait, so it would make that pony extra magical?

>Yes transforming the pony into an alicorn state for some time[,] in theory.
>>
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>Anon MUST have sexual intercourse with horse to deplete his magic build-up
It's time.
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>>27171519
>It says nowhere that the pony has to be on the receiving end
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>>27171517
perfect
>>
>>27171517
I predict many new bait threads on /v/.
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Who is he going to "unleash" his "built up" "magic" inside of?
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>>27171296

I think that huge wall of text in the last panel needs to be shorter, it feels kind of rigid to read through all that and lots of info in there is redundant, was already explained earlier or doesn't need to be mentioned because muh common sense, like the part after the last comma, I feel like that part can be left out
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>>27171519
Yeah, well...that's just like your opinion man.
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>>27171324
>>27171517
>>27171545
>lewd Mascara
Finally.
>>
>>27171599
>inb4 Anon releases the magic inside of him
>pony goes super sayan
>Anon's physique and strength becomes that of a nor/mlp/erson
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>>27171324
Those middle 3 panels...Lewd Mascara...
Fucking UNF
>>
>alicorn
>the writer is also the artist

Pencils i secretly M.A Larson?
>>
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>>27171644
I think you're missing what could quite very well be actual horse pussy.
based pencils
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>>27171644
saved
>>
Who will be the first alicorn?

Who deserve the fist taste of the anon D?
>>
>>27171357
is not "become liteal alicorn" it just means the pony gains as much magic as that of an alicorn. Think Starlight Glimmer, she's a unicorn but her magic can keep up with twilights and do magic spells along the other alicorns
>>
>>27171296

The real question is what pony could actually survive a roll in the hay with Anon except for Applejack? Maybe Limestone or Maud, but other than that. It's gotta be an Earth Pony.
>>
>Intercorse can make a temporary alicorn
>Potentially
W-what happens if he cums inside of an Alicorn, though?
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>>27171662
those are crotchtits, retard
horse pussy is on the backside right below the ponut and doesn't curve towards the belly
learn your horse pussy facts
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>>27171682
double Alicorn, 4 wings, 2 horns, 8 legs
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>>27171682
The alicorn becomes a triceratops.
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>>27171682
>>
>>27171691
And two vaginas
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>>27171691
>>27171694
>>27171700
>Combine all three
>>
>Lewd Mascara

But Mascara should be the cute and pure waifu, she is a slut now after this page
>>
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>>27171684
I'm sorry senpai I couldn't tell if that was the start of one or naw.
Plus crotchtits are generally a nono round there's parts even with lewds.
>>
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Just draw straight-up porn on the side and get it out of your system already, why'd you have to incorporate the pornographic aspect into the comic
>>
>>27171682
It becomes a bigger alicorn (because more power) or why do you think is Celestia physically bigger than any other pony? She was a wild one in her youth and because of that she literally sucked so much "magic" than she permanetally became an alicorn.
>>
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>>27171709
Oh god, I need a picture of this
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There are more colours as more magic builds up in anon, thoughts?
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>>27171717

Dude, it's been there since like, page 2 or 3. It's the entire point of the comic.

It's Pencil's magical pony realm, and we've all dared to enter it.
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>>27171712
>the cute and pure waifu
Fuck off you whiteknight shit
>>
>>27171717
triple 17s demand it
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>>27171519
>>27171517
Limestone and Mascara gonna cockblock eachother while anon goes with Marble

It doesn't work out either way because villain interrupts the moment
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>>27171717
wrong opinions aside, nice digits
what are you even supposed to call those
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>>27171324

She care about papyra innocent child mind or just another possible tsundere moment?
>>
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>>27171694
So if Discord cums inside Fluttershy, he will turn into human and she into permanent alicorn?
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>>27171717
Them digits
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>>27171717

>Just draw straight-up porn on the side and get it out of your system already

Sorry, but this is the worst of the options.

I don't want tumors in this comic
>>
Inb4 Anon has to fuck every mare to turn them all into alicorns in order to stop the Big Bad.
>>
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>>27171296
You need to censor the crotchtits all scrufy will prun the thread.
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>>27171694
can you post a picture of what your storyboard looks like? doesn't have to be of a future page obviously, just interested in what you're looking at when you start drawing
>>
>>27171296
So ponies are magical cum dumpsters?
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>>27171717
This is comedy ecchi you dumbass, not hentai. Anon will not even score in this story, and if he do is going to be romantic and softcore.
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>>27171780
What? Where?
>>
>>27171780
it's okay as long as they're just implied, so long as there are no nipples we're safe
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>>27171812
Mascara top down left corner
>>
Jibbers Crabst. How many of you fuckers blew in here from Equestria Daily?
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>>27171341
and.....
>>
What do you think would happen if Anon brought Mascara to orgasm during one of her dizzy spells?
>>
>>27171840
There wasn't pony ep, this week, the poor things need their pony dose too.
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>>27171852
There is no crotchtits and porn in MLP. Can you remove it from the comic so my son can read it?
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>>27171840
you can probably tell them apart from their filenames
There is literally no difference in the 'quality' of posts anyway, as shown by the april fools' joke this year
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>>27171850
the vertigo from the dizzy spell and the orgasm cancel each other out and she will be magically healed of all her problems, even her monetary debts cease to exist
>>
>>27171863
>that subtle blizzard tracer fiasco reference
nice meme. >>out if it wasn't.
>>
>>27171812
Don't listen to that faggot. They're only a problem if their big milky things. Don't worry about vague anatomical correctness.
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>>27171767
Discord becomes human and repopulate human race with Anon.
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>>27171876
>>out
try again
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>>27171852

Just a question, why can't anon just masturbate?
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>>27171876
your memes and your ship is shit.
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>>27171889
that's totally not going to lead to one heck of a lot of incest
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>>27171905
maybe he'll accidentally shoot his eye out
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>>27171905
he'd just orgasm, it wouldn't do anything to the magic inside him
cum =/= magic
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>>27171905
that would require good writing
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>>27171905

read the last panel again
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>>27171905
why are his balls producing magic in the first place? How does Mascara even know that? Why isn't the stpry making sense?
>>
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>>27171923

Or maybe he will cum and cannot stop cumming and Equestria will be filled wit his magical cum?
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>>27171767
The nut that busts through the heavens.
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>>27171905
>>27171935
>frogposting for the sake of frogposting
Are you just trying too hard to fit in or?
>>
Maybe Mascara's just lying because she craves the hot monkey dick.
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>>27171930

Still doesn't make sense senpai, if ponies can act as magical cum dumpsters then why can't some tissues?
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>>27171671

>fist taste of the anon D

Lime already taste anon D, but she deserve to taste anon cum
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>>27171949
How is sex transfering magic in the first place? Woudn't it be more logical to have it in blood? I doubt even hentai would make this shit up and there were hentai about sperm hunter.
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>>27171951
not even other humans could, have you even read the page?
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>>27171929
>good artist
>good writer
pick one
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>>27171951

Sex =/= Masturbation

Anyone not virgin should know that
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>it will turn out that just a kiss is enough to transfer the magic
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>>27171978

Doesn't matter, the outcome of both are the same

>Anon cums either way
>>
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>>27171296

We gonna to get a explicit sex page in this comic?
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>>27171978
you're expecting too much
>>
>twily loses her alicorn powers because of plot reasons
>anon has to fuck ponies to power them up
JUST LIKE IN MY JAPANESE ANIMES no seriously they already did this and it's already over saturated
>>
>>27171989
Anon is pure and innocent. He can't do that with filthy ponies.
>>
>>27171978

>Anyone not virgin should know that

It the same shit, you cum in the both situations
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>>27172003
Pencilcs watch too many animes. Fucking weeaboo need some western cartoons.
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>people still try to defend (the writing in) this comic
I like the art style and the comic in general but just admit that the writing is atrocious, we're reading it for cheap thrills and its lewdness. In that sense the comic is great at its job
>>
>>27171977
>being this picky
if you don't like it, you always have the option to kindly fuck off
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>TFW just started up a shitstorm by pointing out a plot hole
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>>27172045
Kill yourself, frogposter.
>>
>>27172028
Gee, just like the fucking show it's based on,
>>
>>27172021
If you cum on the ground, there is no host. Apparently magic can't into anything that isn't alive. He could probably fuck some fake clone created by Discord and have him take his power but i guess this is a quick setup for lewd where ponies don't think of alternate solutions.
>>
>>27172045

not actually >>27171978
>>
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>>27172045
>>27171935
>>27171905
Stop you fucking frogposter
>>
>>27172022
It's more like japan knows too well that porn doesn't sell well so you make your show smutty enough to get boners but not smutty enough to get banned from air
>>
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>>27172045
>tfw you will never be this proud of making 5 virgins argue on the internet
>>
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So is the protagonist "Anonymous"? Or another human character? I want to know before nitpicking the comic for being a self-insert hentai
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>>27172120
It's just a straight up anon.
When it started, people had him all decked out in green skin.
Even had your classic nignog dlc attached too. Those were simpler times.
>>
>>27172120
>posting furry
>announcing complaints
yeah, no, just go back into the
>>>trash
>>
>>27172167
>implying mlp porn isn't furry
Oh my god... I have become the thing I hate.
>>
>>27172179

join the club :^)
>>
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>>27171741
>Marble
>Not Maud
I'd imagine that Anon would have taste.
>>
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>>27171741
>>27172197

To bad, this is a manga. The tsunderes always wins
>>
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>>27172193
But I clopped before... Does that mean I'm furry?
>>
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>>27171717
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>>27172225

I guess you can get a free pass with those trips

but then...
>>
>>27171324
Pencils, this comic is taking a very lewd direction, and I'm liking it.
>>
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>>27172225
A-anon I...
It took me a while to realize it but they're one in the same when taken into a broad overview.
>>
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>>27172245
you haven't met Frank Horrigan either?
>>
>>27172225
Depends on whether you consider 'furry' to mean you're a member of the furry community or whether you jerk it to anthro animals. If it's the latter, then yes, if it's the former, probably not. The MLP community, while it has a large amount of overlap with the furry community, developed independently.

It's like whether you consider 'feminist' to mean you support the movement with the same name or whether you support the dictionary definition.
>>
>>27171483
As both of those clauses are independent, your use of the semicolon is correct.
>>
>>27171989
Your spirit doesn't join with another when you're just rubbing yourself into a coma while trying not to cry.
>>
>>27172216
Tsunderes win less than childhood friends.
Marble has the biggest chance in weebland, because weebs are shit.

In real life thought it'd be Maud, the only one to actively express attraction.
>>
>>27172332
*though
>>
>>27172332

>marble
>clidhood friend

Marble isn't the clidhood friend.

This comic don't have clidhood friend. Without that the tsundere is the automatic winner of this comic
>>
>>27172120
The protagonist is named Pen. Before he was taken to Equestria, he was a comic artist.
>>
Someone describe the entire story up to now for me in less than 10 words please.
>>
>>27171989
The outcome of one is "Anon cumming" and the other is "Anon cumming and transferring magic"
>>
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>>27172225
DO NOT START ON THIS ROAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

IS CHEESECAKE CAKE OR PIE?

THESE QUESTIONS LEAD ONLY TO REGRET
>>
>>27172429
Pencils finds a plausible excuse for Anon to fuck ponies.
>>
>>27172429
Anon is going to fuck ponies for dumb reasons


Sphincter
>>
>>27172472
Oh plausible my ass, it has more holes in it than that slut mascara
>>
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>>27172293
>>
>>27172245
>trips

They aren't trips if they're in the middle of the number.
>>
>>27171905
You kids are so impatient. If I try to explain all in one page it will become just a giant wall of text, just have patience and these things will be answered, if they aren't two more chapters in, then get back on me with it.
>>
I'm new to the thread, and this story. Please post the sexiest frames.
>>
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>>27172612
>>
>cum inside = alicorn powers

To bad that Papyra is too small for anon. She deserve to be a princess
>>
>>27172655

Do you think that's going to stop her?
>>
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>>27172655

She still can use her mouth.
>>
>>27172646
I was already reading from the beginning on the shit website, but now I'm going to finish it.
>>
>>27172245
>trips
Have you never seen a get thread you fucking retard?
>>
Okay hold on a minute
What if Anon fucks Spike?
>>
>>27172699

Overlord of all the dragons in equestria
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>>27172699
>>
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>>27172612
>>
>>27171324

>have magical orgasm that can transform ponies into alicorns
>soon every pony is trying to fuck anon for that sweet alicorn change
>celestia and luna find out
>they plan on taking anon for themselves for that mindnumbing magic orgasm
>they also want to stop other ponies from becoming alicorns

a war is coming
>>
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>>27171324
>>
>>27171296
>ponies gain power from anon cumming inside them
What is this, Monster Girl Ency-clop-edia?
>>
The seed is strong.
>>
>>27172699
Then Pencils gets to use the hentai phrase "Greedily drinking in his semen."
>>
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>Come back from a moonlit crusade
>Find normie scum using "Dank Memes" like its no ones business
>Autistic spergs lured out like laying out cheetos on the floor

Today's been a good day, a one in need of cleansing, but a good day nonetheless.
>>
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>>27171296
>Anon fugs Mascara
>The magic heals her wounds
>>
>>27171324
Middle 3 panels HD? Pretty please?
>>
>they all to wake up one morning
>Marble is an alicorn
>refuses to make eye contact with anyone while blushing furiously
>>
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>>27172806

Actually... Pencil play that Celestia = Corrupt meme
>>
>>27171296
>>27171324
Fuck the Sunbutt and explode.
Don't forget the "alahu akbar" in the process.
>>
>>27172904
>Come across a bunch of objective degenerates.
>They're all aggressively naked anticipating the next Pencils masterpiece with salivation.
>Gain the palpable disappointment debuf just trying to analyse and optimize the gaping assholes.
>Decide I need to come back later with a dump truck to carry all this /trash/.
Picking out the deluxe, delectable goodness from godlike anons such as yourself is worth the trouble to form the binding of essence and purity. Which is not peanut butter and jelly but instead Pencils himself for baiting the perfectly plump prepubescent panda pussies into dun goofing themselves.
>>27172918
That's comfy as fuck anon.
>>
>>27171324
>And [the] only solution to release your magic-

Even with that fix, it's still a bit choppy, but I don't really know what to change it to.
>>
>>27172918
This needs to happen. Both my dick and my heart would be at peace.
>>
Plotwist: all those books that Papyra read were actually Lyra fanfics about humans
>>
>>27172918
a-anon please
my heart
>>
>>27172646
>What is a paladin?

I-I liked Spoony too before he became a bi-polar drug addict patreon whore who barely does anything.
>>
>>27172918
yes pls
>>
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>>27172962
>>
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>>27172918
>Anon fugs Pinkie
>Anon's magic combined with her own makes her powerful enough to single-handedly take over Equestria
>An era of laughter, confetti, and cake for everyone is ushered in
>>
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>>27172918
>Anon cums in Mascara's wounds
>They heal
>Anon becomes the first human healer in Equestria with the power to heal anyone with cum
>And thus a legend was born by the semen
>>
>>27173160
>His magic drains away after the first day
>Pinkie is put on clean up duty
>>
>>27172323
"books on history and archaeology" is actually a dependant clause, one that can't stand alone as a sentence. So the semicolon in sentence one would be incorrect.
>>27171483
>She collected all kinds of books that even the royal library doesn't hold copies of: books on history and archaeology.
(just a normal colon is fine since it's describing what book Talltail collected)
>... keep up with the magic build-up and would go crazy in the end regardless
No first comma since "and would go crazy in the end" is a dependant clause. The second one and the period are necessary, however.
>No problems with the third suggestion
>Or in the fourth
>Yes, it would transform the pony into an alicorn state
The original was a fragment, so adding the "it" and changing the verb tense will fix it. The comma is correct, however.

One more.
>Most of them ARE sole surviving editions
Gotta work on those fragments mang.
>>
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>>27173178
>She makes Anon have daily sex with her
>>
>>27171362
You dumb bitch, you can't even count. It's the sixth panel.
>>
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>>27173222
222 times a day.
>>
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Just gonna leave this here. Critchtits aside, this panel is nowhere near as lewd.
>>
>>27173261
i want to eat out marble
>>
>>27173359
I want to eat out Lime while she eat out marble.
>>
>>27173391
I, in turn will be eating you out at this time.

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS
>>
>>27173391
i want to eat out marble while fingering lime and fucking maud
>>
>>27172958

>only as corrupt as she is in the official show
>sends twilight and her friends on life threatening missions that she can easily accomplish

fuck
>>
>>27173422
> Pretends to raise the sun each morning to uphold her supposed status as a deity

That's where we should be looking, Anon.
>>
>>27173391
>Reminder that Limestone ate out marble.
>Marble came on her sister.
She may act tough but you know she'll always remember the taste and some night she'll crack and do it again.
>>
>>27173261
>>27173359
>>27173391


What pie sister have the tastier pussy?
>>
>>27173462
Pinkie, duh.

But Limestone gives the best sex.
>>
>>27173462
The easy answer would be Ponk, but I'm gonna say Marble.
>>
>>27173462
Rocks actually have a really nice taste, so I'd go with Maude.

Pinkie would be too sweet, Limestone too bitter, and I have a feeling that Marble has really sticky fluids.
>>
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>>27173447
>some night she'll crack and do it again
So you're saying she'll lose her marbles?
>>
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>>27173507
I will make a jacket from your skin, you little Mexican shit.
>>
>>27173462

>In the pie family?

Probably Lime or pinkie

>In the comic?

Papyra
>>
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>>27173528
Well at least you're not afraid to hide your hatred for me.
>>
>>27171296
I still wonder how this would be received on 2chan if it was trasnlated.

Those faces are so so golden.
>>
>>27173564

>papyra

Little fillies aren't for sexual and Anon body will explode. Papyra isn't a option for this manga
>>
>>27173462
but anon
pussy isnt tasty
>>
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>>27173577
My rage is almost palpable.
>>
>>27171422
Carry on..my wayward son
>>
>>27173589
> Little fillies aren't for sexual

What are you, gay?
>>
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>>27173633
>>
>>27173589
Funny you say that, I'm currently reading https://www.fimfiction.net/story/227070/a-good-turn-daily and having multiple blasts.
>>
>>27173685
Meant to quote the "filly is not for sexual" part.
>>
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>You will never fill another pony with your gooey magical essence

Why even bother living?
>>
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>>27171905

It's got to have something that can actually transmit magic to, or else Anon stays juiced up.

Get out froggie REEEEEEE
>>
>>27171968

Semen as a literal magical fluid is actually quite traditional, even back to the ancient Sumerian myths.

Enki is literally known as the god of semen, in fact.
>>
>>27174058
I was just thinking about that
>>
So... anon need to orgasm to transfer a little part of his magic?

let make the category of the ponies and the methods.

Orgasm by:

>hoovesjob
>blowjob
>vaginal
>anal
>prostate stimulation

Ponies:

>mane6
>limestone pie
>maud pie
>marble pie
>mama pie
>papyra maroon
>mascara maroon
>the moon and the sun princesses
>>
>>27174064

Enki's a pretty cool deity. Also the origin of "memes" (as in the "me of mes", the decrees of the gods)
>>
>>27174072
>all
by
>all
>>
>>27174072

>prostate stimulation

That sound like a job for Celestia to show anon who is the boss in equestria. Would be with a strap-on or the whole royal guards to create the ultimate soldiers
>>
>>27174072
anything other than vaginal does not precipitate a magical transfer
>>
>>27174366
This, only thing that works is the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
If the purpose isnt in check either it also doesnt work, so he better marry only one of them and create a new happy family
>>
So, is this page the end of chapter 3? I keep hearing chapter 3 will end soon.
>>
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Does Pencils like the constant shitposting in every thread?
>>
>>27174524
Do you not like it?
>>
>>27172386
Childhood friends never win, neither to tsuns.
Marble is the shy new girl introduced that pisses off the tsun, and is unable to even hear an allusion to sex without going into Porky pig style stutters.

She will probably win, even if she really shouldn't.
Rock herd + your favorite horse is the best end we'll never have.
>>
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>>27171296
I fucking love your anons faces nearly as much as I love Lewdcara
>>
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>tfw losing anon bowl to Mascara
>>
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>>27173177
>Princess Celestia, I've come to bid you farewell
>Oh I know, Twilight, you think now to betray me.
>No, but you will never listen. I tell you I won't forget our adage
>We are born of the cum, made mares by the cum, undone by the cum. Our cunts have yet to open

>Fear the old cum.
>>
>>27174724
Poor, poor Limey she'll never love someone again
>>
>>27172429
ponies want human dick because badly written reasons
>>
>>27172429
Mascara a cute, dont care about the rest.
>>
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>>27174072
Fluttershy is out of the question because Discord would get angry and he's the original b0ss
>>
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You guys are aware that this was mostly a setup for a comic to have a comedic episode about bunch of mares fighting over anons dick?

It's not a premise for a hentai. But typical harem subplot. Most of them will be motivated by the prospect of becoming an Alicorn and not because feeling for Anon. This stuff is something you could see in Ranma 1/2 who was as lewd as this. Don't expect orgy beside fanarts.
>>
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>>27171422
>80 pages for one shitty joke
hot damn pencils i am liking you and your dedication more and more
>>
I keep think about bloodborne and the old blood but with anons semen
We are born of the jizz, made alicorn by the jizz, undone by the jizz
>>
>>27174994
See >>27174745

But we honestly need Cumborne to happen, now.
>>
>>27173498
Rocks actually have a really nice taste
Are you saying there are edible rocks?
>>
>>27171422
And nothing of the value was lost!
>>
>>27175015
Not edible, but I remember as a stupid kid I'd clean off a small rock and roll it around in my mouth.

Choking hazard aside it did taste alright on my tongue
>>
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>>27175002
>cumborne
This count?
>>
>>27175015
Salt is an edible rock.
>>
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>>27171324
The time has come
>>
>>27175228
They can't get pregnant, fool.

And it also doesn't make sense for them to get their power through sex if they are of different species.
>>
>>27175244
>They can't get pregnant
magic, shut up.
>>
>>27175244
At least read the fucking comic before you complain
>>
>>27175244
Nigga we have a whole general to counter this argument.
>>
>>27171296
Can't Anon just masturbate to reduce his magic levels?
>>
>>27171296
>>27171324
Did you forget to color the insides of their mouth and their tongues? Pls fix
>>
>>27175407
can you?
>>
>>27175407
>choosing to masturbate when you can have sex with all the mares you want
That's hella gay dude
>>
>>27175544
>not being faithful to one mare only
baka desu senpai
>>
>>27175547
>you can have sex with any of the mares you want
Ftfy Famicon
>>
>>27175570
That anon is not you
>>
>>27171296
Super-Sayajin-Alicorn mode powerup commence!
>Orgasmic screaming
>>
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requesting Anon doing the sexy Squidward face
>>
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>>27175742
>>
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>>27175742
>>
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>>27173604
i admit that last joke
kinda bombed
>>
>>27176075
carlos you mexican cunt I will fucking end you
>>
>>27176075
Trump can't win fast enough you illegal pun alien
>>
>>27171296
>>27171324
Seems nobody but >>27171483 has gone over the writing yet, so let me point out a few things that I think need to be fixed (also I'm not entirely sure if Mascara missing words is intentional or not so I'll point it out):

Panel 1: [...] used to teach at (not in) Canterlot University.

Panel 4:
– Suck in that erection, Anon. (missing comma)
– Missing period or comma after unhindered? Works without but feels awkward with the panel change.

Panel 5: And the only solution [...] (missing "the")

Panel 7:
– [...] sex will transfer a great amount [...] (missing "a")
– [...] magic in the human [...] (missing "the")
– In Limestone's bubble, either drop "then" or put it before "make"
– In Mascara's second bubble, I don't like the sound of "transform into a state", so I suggest either using "bringing" or a good synonym thereof, or dropping "state". And if you keep "state", make it "into an alicorn-like state" or "into alicorn state" since I assume you're talking about a specific state, not a specific alicorn state.

As for >>27171483's notes on punctuation, I think your version is fine, but this is an issue of utter orthographic correctness vs. accurate representation of dialogue, since for example Mascara's last sentence is incorrect with the period, but probably represents the way you want it to be spoken, with a long pause after "for some time". So choose what you prefer.

>Responding to "I hope you don't mind." with simply "sure", which isn't a conclusive answer
REEE
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