Elder Gods Edition
>What is Flutterrape?
Flutterrape is a collection of stories about ponies trying to have sex with Anon, the only human in Equestria. While the title implies that it is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon, others may follow in her hoofsteps and attempt their own versions of >rape. There are different versions of Flutterrape, but most are lighthearted stories about the ponies failing in their comical attempts to get into Anon’s pants. Just because your story has Anon in it, doesn't mean it fits in this thread. Check other threads (Pie, AiE, etc) about story content before posting.
Author List: http://pastebin.com/eG8iY7Wy
Request Bin: http://pastebin.com/rZU1Hbqy
Add for Skype: flutter.priest
Old thread: >>26965475
Thread Archive: https://desustorage.org/mlp/search/subject/Flutterrape/
////
>How do I start writing?
Writing these stories is very easy. Write in the second person and preface your lines with ‘>’. This is what turns normal text into greentext.
Writing Guides:
http://pastebin.com/uXvpYYzS
http://pastebin.com/bnMmZ2T3
http://pastebin.com/r6dTpd3j
>>27152110
Yeeeah, work that grill baby.
Hello everyone!
How about a request to start the thread off?
>>27152854
Never seen a flutterrape with pic related before.
>>27152854
Anon is having a bro's night out with stallions, but mares are always trying to sneak their way into the group.
>>27152854
Cheerilee and Nurse Red Heart both suddenly want foals. They fight over Anon all while he's clueless of what's happening around him.
>>27152957
Never seen a FSR pic that wasn't used forty times before
>>27152957
Alrighty, I'll go in order then.
Chrissy story coming up.
>>27152957
I have. Anon was a gigolo and hiding the exiled Chryssie in his house, while keeping her "fed".
Of course my habit of reading FR while drunk means that I don't remember who's pastebin it was in. But I assure you it does exist, if you trawl through the pastebins, you should find it. Eventually.
>>27152957
>>27153397
>Day Elephant in Equestria.
>Well...
>It should be day Elephant in Equestria.
>Thing is, you can't see the sky in this cave.
>Also, you're trapped in some sort of cocoon.
>A changeling trots up to you.
>"Hi Anon! Back for your weekly visit?"
>The black bug pony chirps happily, glad to see you.
"Visit would imply I came here willingly."
>The changeling looks taken aback.
>"You don't like the hive? What's not to like Anon?"
>Whoops, time for damage control.
"I didn't mean it like that, it's just that..."
>"That what?"
"Your queen... really loves to feed on my-"
>"Your seed?"
>Now you're the one whose taken aback.
"I was going to say 'my love,' but yes, my seed. She sends a couple changelings to collect me every week or so, ties me up and-"
>"Anonymous~"
>Chrysalis' voice sends a chill down your spine.
>"Yay, the queen is here!"
>Lo and behold, Queen Chrysalis struts into your chamber, head held high, and eyelids low.
>Your changeling companion salutes as the queen makes her appearance.
>"Hello my queen! I love you my queen!"
>"And I love you, my loyal subject."
>"And you aswell, Anonymous~"
"Hello to you too, Chrissy."
>Queen bugpone plops her delectable bugpone butt down infront of you, getting ready for this week's "activities."
>Basically, she'll throw out random fetishes, hoping you'll bite.
>Eventually, she'll grow impatient, and forcibly rape you infront of her changeling children.
>She has thousands of children.
>Basically, it's like going to the Opera, but instead of singing, you get moaning and orgasms.
>Lots of orgasms.
>"So... where did we leave off last week? Oral? Spandex? Paint?"
"... I believe we were on 'dragon dildos,' and no, they're not my fetish."
>Chrysalis feigns a look of sadness, though she cannot hide her smile.
>"Oh, that's too bad, Anonymous..."
>She gets up close to your ear.
>"They're MY fetish~"
>You audibly gulp.
>The changeling off to the side looks giddy.
>"Yay! I'll go tell the others!"
>You sigh.
Fin.
>>27152969
>Night Bro in Equestria.
>You are Anon.
>Today's finally arrived.
>Well, tonight has finally arrived.
>You stand outside of Sweet Apple Acres, waiting for BigMac.
"Hurry it up Mac! What's taking him so long? We're gonna miss the band if he doesn't get his firm, muscular, tender, delicious red ass out here soon."
>Time Turner, Snowflake, and Spike both shake their heads in agreement.
>Wait, Spike?
>"Tell me about it! I don't want to miss happy hour this time."
"Um... Spike? You sure Twilight would approve you coming out with us?"
>Spike shoots you an uninterested look.
>"Oh please Anon, you're starting to sound just like her! Besides, I slipped some horse tranquilizers in her lunch, she should be out until noon tomorrow."
"You guys have horse tranquilizers here?"
>"Will you two shut up? Look, BigMac is here."
>"Eeyup."
"Well, isn't someone just a little grumpy-"
>"Shut it Anon, I'm too sober to deal with your antics."
>Time Turner has a really bad alcohol problem, and you're a bad friend for feeding his addiction.
>It's bro-night though, so who cares?
"Alright alright, lets get going boys."
>"YEAH! THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!"
>The five of you head off towards the closest bar, listening to Snowflake yell about your unbreakable bond as bros.
>...
>What you didn't notice, was the group of mares watching from the bushes, plotting.
>Your group arrives to "Salty's Spittoon" as the sun starts it's decent in the sky.
>You kick open the door, looking like a total badass, as well as announcing your presence.
>No one notices, since you're the twentieth guy to do that since the bar opened today.
>The five of you take your seats at the bar, side by side, yucking it up, as you boys do.
>You all had a single drink, but that isn't going to stop you from acting as retarded as possible.
"So THEN I tells the guy... I tells em'... 'hey, fuck you!' and I run outta there faster than a fuckin' cheetah dude, a fuckin' cheetah."
Cont.
>>27153816
>What you said wasn't funny, not in the slightest, but it still manages to make your posse roar with laughter.
>Some of the bar patrons now stare at your group, obvious annoyance plastered on their faces.
>None of you notice, and instead focus on BigMac chugging down beer.
>"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"
>The others shout, but you can't find the words.
>You're lost in BigMac's eyes.
>His beautiful eyes.
>He locks eyes with you, noticing your staring.
>He doesn't look offput or anything...
>Infact...
>His eyelids lower, dispite the fact beer is going down his throat, you still see a smirk form on the corners of his lips.
>You wish something else was going down his throat.
>You bet he does too.
>With everyone preoccupied with something, no one notices the group of mares strutting in through the door, confident smiles adorned on their cute faces.
>They are predators.
>And the poor, lonely stallions are their prey.
>They break up into groups, two per one stallion.
>It intimidates them.
>Also, distracts them, so they don't notice when the mare pours some date rape drug in their drink.
>Most of the stallions don't stand a chance.
>Your group remains vigilant, still cheering BigMac on.
>BigMac finally finishes off his last drink, eliciting another happy roar from your companions.
>He winks at you, a slight tint on his face.
>You are erect.
>Shit, are you gay?
>"Um, excuse me..."
>You may be gay.
>"Anon..."
>This could change everything!
>"H-hey, Anon, I-I have something for you."
"Not right now Fluttershy, I'm g-"
>"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"
>BigMac has been given another round, on the house.
>It seems even the bartender is impressed.
>"Anon, I-I was just wondering if, um, you'd be okay with me putting some of this in your drink, I hope you don't mind."
>You find yourself too entranced in BigMac's illuminous eyes to listen to Fluttershy's incoherent rambling.
>You absent mindedly take a slow sip of your beer, licking at the foam on your cup.
>BigMac enjoys the show.
cont.
>>27154027
>Funny, you don't remember alcohol tasting like wooden carpets with-
>You're out like a light.
>You come to, an odd feeling on your penis.
>"Come on Mr. Penis, get hard for momma!"
>Hah, looks like no mare can beat ol' whiskey dick.
>Wait.
"AHHHHHHHH!"
>Fluttershy notices you're awake, and responds as any normal pony would.
>"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
>You scream at eachother for a bit, until you boh need to stop for breath.
>"Hey Flutts, you done with him yet? I wanna turn on the human!"
>A white pony with an electric blue man poke her head out from a doorway.
>"Oh... Um... Sure, you can have a turn, what kind of friend would I be if I denied you a turn?"
>"Yeah, whatever."
>She slurs her words a bit as she makes her way towards you.
>You really should've listened to all those PSAs on mares date-raping stallions.
>Vinyl, actually knowing how to work dicks, is knowledgeable enough to surpass your whiskey dick, getting you erect.
"N-no... I'm gay Vinyl..."
>You can barely manage to get your voice out inbetween sobs.
>You wanted to give your virginity to the one you loved!
>"Yeah yeah, I've heard it a million times Anon, what, you gonna tell me you're a virgin next?"
>You only sob harder.
>Just as Vinyl's marehood begins it's descent onto your manhood, a hooded man kicks down the door.
>Well, hooded stallion.
"C-could it be...?"
>"Eeyup."
>BigMac tackles Vinyl off of you, quickly gets you on his back, and takes off towards Sweet Apple Acres.
>Upon arrival, BigMac lays you on the couch, before assisting you in shedding your clothes.
>What's better than gay sex after almost getting raped?
>Nothing, that's what.
>Applebloom watched from the top of the stairs.
>You made eye contact with her as her brother pounded into you.
>It was hot.
The end.
>>27153816
>>27154027
>>27154185
Not bad at all.
>>27153147
>You lie awake on your king sized bed.
>You had a king size because you always thought a queen would be too small for you and your special somepony.
"Special somepony... Tch."
>You are Cheerilee.
>You roll restlessly about on your bed, that is, until your eyes fall onto your clock.
>2:58 AM.
>At least today is Friday.
>Or, was Friday.
>You don't have to get up at five today and teach until six.
>You love to teach the children, but you want children of your own to teach.
>Maybe you'll find your special somepony today.
>The thought warms you, even though your mind tells you the endeavor is fruitless.
>You go over all the potential suitors in Ponyville.
>Your mind wanders, slowly falling into unconsciousness, until a certain thought brings you back to full alertness.
>Anonymous.
>He may not be a pony, he may not even be able to give you children, but you don't feel compatible with anyone else.
>He comes by the school to tutor the children in math and certain Equestrian history.
>He is still learning when it comes to Equestrian history, but he knows enough to help the children.
>He is so good with them.
>Just like you...
>That settles it.
>Your mind is made up.
>You will try to win over Anonymous.
>Now... If only you could win over sleep.
"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Strudel! It's a beautiful baby filly!"
>Mr. Strudel laughs with his wife and they hold their child together, crying tears of joy.
>"They said you couldn't do it, honey."
>"WE showed them otherwise, didn't we, Tasty?"
>Tasty Strudel's smile only grows larger.
>"We sure did, Scrumptious..."
>You trot up to them, not wanting to ruin such a beautiful moment, but the birth certificate needs a name on it.
"So, what will her name be?"
>The couple look at eachother, then down at their child's light red coat, and her crimson mane, that is only a single lock of hair at this point.
>"Strawberry. Strawberry Strudel."
>You smile, writing the name down.
"A wonderful name for a wonderful filly."
Cont.
>>27154552
>You are now back home.
>The hospital usually takes up so much of your time, you rarely see your home.
>You should really just get a little room in the hospital, you could just live there, then you could work from home.
>It would definitely cost less, not that you're poor or anything, far from it.
>You check the clock.
>2:58 AM.
>You stare out a window a the hilly landscape of Equestria from your couch.
>The stars are out in full force tonight, twinkling like diamonds.
>You could be working right now.
>The moon rests in the sky, making it's way arcoss every so slowly.
>You should be working right now.
>Some pots you left in the sink shift slightly, causing a clatter.
>What if somepony needs your assistance back at the hospital?
>You spot a shooting star zoom through the night.
"Please Celestia help me."
>You blurt out, not sure why you needed to vocalize such a request.
>If anyone needs help, it's the injured ponies at the hospital.
>You should get back to the hospit-
>Your train of thought is disrupted by your stomach growling.
>It hasn't had food since breakfast.
>Delivering babies is a process that takes time to do right.
>You are literally handling life in your hooves.
>Babies.
>Foals.
>Fillies.
>Colts.
>Unicorns.
>Pegasus.
>Earth ponies.
>You've delivered them all.
>You'd neve admit it out loud, but you're good at what you do.
>Yet, you have no child to call your own.
>Not that it matters, you couldn't care for a foal a work at the hospital at the same time.
>A shiver works it's way down your spine.
>And the thought of one of those 'doctors' touching your child.
>There's a reason to take their shifts so often.
>You've seen them work.
>'Work' is putting it nicely.
>You wonder if you'd be able to be the doctor for your own birth.
>It'd probably be allowed.
>What is your foal going to look like?
>What will you name it?
>Your train of thought screeches to a halt.
>You're thinking too far ahead.
>Who will be the pony to get you pregant?
Cont. tomorrow
>>27154705
How do you keep a Flutterrape reader in suspense?
>>27154804
Don't knock on his door till late evening.
Fuck you Nebulus, I'll fuck it up if I want to!
>Day fuck you
>You wake up pissed
>Do the holy triple S, try not to cut yourself when you angrily cut off the stubble
>Throw cereal in a bowl
>Surprise, it's a tiny yellow fucking horse
>It asks to suck your dick
>You let it because fuck you
>It leaves
>You punch yourself in the balls
>Fucking fin
I fuck up whatever I please, nerd
>>27154705
MORE!
>>27152854
Celestia (Or Cadance, I guess cause it's her jurisdiction, maybe?) forces anon to have a pone-wife by the end of a day or else be punished in some vague way. Our friendly neighborhood rapist,I mean, whoever the writer wants to put in as said-rapist. Some stories have Fluttershy, but others spice it up with different characters, I dunno. I guess it's really their call, is the only willing candidate. But perhaps, there could be a twist in there somewhere, maybe...?
How will Anon get out of this one? Tune in this week on the FlutterRape Network!
>>27155853
I want to unsubscribe from the network, i haven't been here in a year, it's been eating my money
>>27154185
>You made eye contact with her as her brother pounded into you.
>It was hot.
>The end.
Literary genius.
>>27155055
Literally terrible.
Flutterrape a shit/bat/ a best
>>27155941Literally asking to die
Hey... Unless you wanna make a bat rape story? I don't think I've ever seen that before.
>>27154705
God, I should really start proofreading, I'm cringing, seeing some of these errors.
>The realization makes you sit up straight, uncertain.
>When was the last time you went out on a date?
>When was the last time you talked to a stallion who wasn't a patient?
>Even then, it's not like you held a conversation with them for very long.
>Work always overshadowed all else.
>Without you, who else will deliver the babies?
>Who else will cast up the poor colt's broken hoof?
>Who else will perscribe the correct dosage and cure the patient?
>The other nurses?
>Not a chance, you don't trust them with handling the lunchline, let alone a heart transplant.
>Another voice pops into your head.
>One you don't listen to often.
>Why don't you trust them, they are doctors and nurses just like you, aren't they?
>A light drizzle starts to fall against the window.
>Is the hospital the real reason you are alone?
>These new thoughts scare you.
>You hide your head under a couch pillow, knowing the effort is in vain, but doing it regardless.
>You ears are smothered, yet your thoughts scream at you.
>You're losing it.
>You've cared for so many patients.
>Is it selfish to want someone to care for you?
>Well, at this point, you'd say it's more need than want.
>You glance at the clock again.
>3:32 AM
>Sighing, you get up for some water.
>While filling up your cup, your eyes fall onto the calendar.
>Today is day Bathroom in Equestria, according to your handy dandy calendar.
>You have a day off.
>It takes a second or two to process that information.
>Day off?
>As in, not at the hospital?
>Surely a mistake has been made.
>You gallop off to Ponyville ER without a second thought.
>The lights are still on, and a tired-looking desk attendant notices your presence.
>"Nurse Red Heart? Are you alright? Your shift ended a couple hours ago-"
"Nevermind that, my calendar says I have a day off today, why is that?"
>The mare looks confused.
Continue in a couple hours, sorry for the baby update.
>>27157668
WE NEED NO BUMPS HERE
WE NEEDgremps
>>27157837
Gremps is very good idea.
Be of trustings me.
Gulag if dont
>>27156989
Alright, I'm back.
>"Um, b-because you have a day off...?"
>She seems scared.
>She should be.
"This simply will not do, the patients need m-"
>A couple burly looking stallions walk in through an 'employees only' door.
>The first one speaks up.
>"Ms. Red Heart? You're going to need to leave the premises."
"L-leave? What do you mean? A-am I being fired?"
>The other stallion sighs.
>"No ma'am, ya aren't bein' fired. You just gotta stay home for a couple days. The boss is gettin' worried about you an' your... work ethic."
>Your work ethic?
>What does that have to do with anything?
>Before you can phrase a rebuttal, you're being pushed out of the hospital.
>You can only manage grunts of protest and whines as you are slowly forced outside.
>"Take a break ma'am, you'll thank us later."
>...
"And that's how I ended up here."
>Your listener stares down at you from the parkbench.
>"That is certainly quite the story, Ms. Redheart, I admire your work ethic."
>This brings a smile to your face.
>Finally, someone who understand-
>"I wish I was that kind of workaholic, I'd be swimming in bits!"
>This takes the smile away from your face, and a blush takes it's place.
"Not funny..."
>Anonymous puts his hand of your back, giving you a nice rub.
>"I'm serious, if everyone worked like you did, the world would be a better place."
>You look up at him, a gentle smile on his face.
"Thanks Anon."
>"No problem, though, I am wondering..."
"What is it?"
>"Why did you come to the park? It's four in the morning, after all."
>You can't help but grin sheepishly.
>You'd never tell him, but the reason you came to the park was because you saw Anon, sitting on a bench, nursing some liquor.
"I could ask you the same thing, don't you know drinking alone is a sign of alcoholism?"
>Anon looks off into the forest.
>"Yeah."
>His back rub increases in tempo, relaxing your sore muscles.
"Mmmmh, you could work at the hospital, you know, patients would kill for this kind of therapy~"
Cont.
>>27160139
>Anonymous increases his back rubbing ferocity once more, putting his flask down to rub your back with both hands.
>Not able to resist any longer, you lay your head against his legs, belly exposed.
>What was once a backrub has evolved into a dual-handed belly rub.
>"Am I really that good?"
>Your leg kicks slightly every couple of seconds.
"Shhhhh..."
>Anon's snarkiness is lost on you as you fade into sleep.
>You are Anon.
>There's a potentially sleeping-
>Nurse Red Heart lets out a loud, yet feminine snore.
>There's a definitely sleeping pony on your crotch right now.
>You are also at the park in the early hours of dawn.
>This is an odd predicament.
>You should probably get Red Heart home.
>"Mmmh, nnneeiigghh...."
>Nah, just a bit longer.
>You awake in your bed as your mind boots up.
>Last thing you remember last night was getting a heavenly bellyrub from Anon at the park.
>How'd you get back home?
>Looking over to your dresser, you see a note.
>Picking it up, you read it aloud.
"You fell asleep on me last night, I took you home. Key was and is still under the mat. -Anon."
>You flip the note over.
"P.S. I took some of that cake from your fridge, thanks- WHAT!"
>This awakes you instantly.
>That was your favorite flavour, and there was only one piece left!
>You dash into the kitchen, only to find another note.
"Just... kidding..."
>Inspecting the fridge, you see the cake remains intact.
>You sigh in relief, speaking aloud once more.
"Not funny, Anon."
>Despite trying to keep yourself from smiling, the smile breaks through.
>You do have a couple days off, maybe you can return Anon the favor.
>Your thoughts drift back to last night.
>How he... cared for you.
>Just like you care for your patients.
>Hmm...
>You don't talk with Anon very often, well, you don't talk with many very often.
>Maybe you could visit him for a bit, just to thank him.
>...
>Why do you have butterflies in your stomach?
Cont.
>>27159300
Perhaps, we can call them "Rapes".
Example: "I'm gonna rape this thread."
"Raping for more of that story"
>>27160311
>Day Bathroom in Equestria.
>You are Anon.
>You are also very hungover.
>The sun's rays blaze through your window, and scorch your retinas.
>Rolling over works for about a second, until gravity starts working against you, pulling you down onto the floor.
"Ow, fucking Celestia..."
>Slowly rising from the oak floor, you ready yourself to meet the day.
>Shit.
>Shower.
>Shave.
>Breakfast of three eggs, scrambled to mediocrity.
>You wouldn't have them any other way.
>Scarfing down your meal, you entrance yourself in a book of Equestrian history.
>That is, until you get a knock on the door.
>You rise from your chair, resting the book on your table, and answering the door.
"Hello there- ah! Cheerilee! What a surprise! How are you today?"
>Cheerilee greets you with as much enthusiasm as you greeted her.
"So, why have you stopped by Cheery? The kids need tutoring?"
>Cheerilee looks almost caught off guard.
>"Wha? Oh no, I just came by to visit a friend is all, I'm glad you're concerned for the class though."
>Honestly, most of those kids are just lazy and don't pay attention in class.
>Tutoring them is a bit redundant, but you love history too much, and you love teaching people about history even more.
"You wanna come in? I got today off from SweetApple Acres."
>"I'd love to Anon."
>Cheerilee happily trots into your living room, making herself at home on the couch.
>"I see you're reading up on the Reign of Chaos, interesting times, huh?"
"Certainly, reminds me a bit of home, though."
>Cheerilee cocks an eyebrow.
>"Really? Your home was like that?"
>You shrug.
"Eh, in some ways. For example, the sun and moon on my planet moved on their own, due to gravity. Well, my planet moved around the sun, the sun doesn't move."
>As you explain planetary orbits and moon cycles to Cheerilee, who looks completely entranced, neither of you notice the sky start to darken.
>Pegasi are getting a storm ready for Ponyville.
Cont.
>>27160753
"And that's how an eclipse occurs."
>Cheerilee opens her mouth to speak, but the only noise you hear is booming thunder, making you both jump.
>"That was all very interesting Anon, but maybe I should head out, before the storm picks up."
"Yeah, probably for the best."
>You show Cheerilee to the door, before she stops herself.
>"Oh, how could I forget, I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go out for some food sometime?"
>You smile.
"Of course Cheerilee, I always have time for a friend!"
>She looks slightly disheartened by that.
>Odd.
>"G-great! How does tomorrow at the Sugarcube Corner at six sound?"
"Fantastic, I'll drop by your house and we'll walk there, alright?"
>Cheerilee looks confused.
>"My house? That isn't how it goes Anon, the mare picks up the stallion on a date."
>A date?
"Really? It was the opposite in my world."
>Cheerilee looks confused.
>"Your world sure does sound odd, Anon."
"I guess s-"
>Another boom of thunder stops you mid sentence, and causes Cheeriler to jump a couple feet off the ground.
>Rain is starting to come down.
>"Oh jeez..."
>Cheerilee mumbles under her breath.
"You can stay until the storm dies down if you'd like."
>"Thank you Anon, I'm grateful."
>Cheerilee shoots a sheepish smile your way as she speedwalks back into your house.
>The magenta mare makes herself comfy on your couch once more.
>"So, I know how much you like history, I happen to be a history buff myself..."
>"Could you tell me about Earth's history?"
>You couldn't tell, but you're sure your eyes lit up like Chrismas trees.
"I'd love that! Alright, it all started about 4.6 billion years ago..."
>You go on for what feels like hours, and you love every second of it.
>Cheerilee seems to enjoy it too.
>That, or she really likes your couch.
>The storm really picks up by the time to get to the birth of Western civilization with ancient Greece.
>Rain pelts the windows as you talk of the philosophers of the time, including your boy, Diogenes.
I'll continue in a bit.
>Rape
bam
>>27161013
Loving it so far anon.Cat fight when?
Man, I'd love to
>Bump
Fluttershy right about now
>>27163287
>>27161013
yeshoping for a 2 mare happyrape
FLUMP
>>27165266
Browser pony
>rape
>>27161013
I'm liking the build up in this story.
>>27165298
>>27164974
You are the sum of everything that's wrong with this world.
If I ever find you, I'm going to deep fry your genitals and feed them to starving children in africa.
Get the fuck outta here
>>27165466
I need this pic without speakbubble shit and much larger, pls
>>27165710
That's the best I can do for you with my source material anon
>>27165733
uhh, thank you anyway
Brownee,
Don't be dedJust a reminder is all
>>27166165
I'm not dead.But I do currently have a concussion...
>>27166178Are you shooting for a world record?
>>27166193Probably should've broken one by now.
>>27166210I can't even... I'm going to bed. Goodnight Brownee
>>27164974
Literally plotting to kill us all.
We are Dolphin Overlord's faithful flippers, please don't make him angry at us.
>>27161013
Turns out "a bit" means tomorrow.
Sorry about that friends.
"So, this guy took the cynicism philosophy very seriously. He lived in a large ceramic wine jar in the marketplace of Athens. He mocked the better known philosphers of his time, and even Alexander the-"
>Your explanation is silenced by a knock on the door.
>At first, you were confused.
>"Did somepony just... knock at your door? In this weather?"
"I think so... coming!"
>You rise up and open the door.
"Ms. Redheart?"
>A soaked Nurse Redheart greets you.
>"H-hi Anonymous *cough*"
>You pick her up, getting your shirt wet in the process.
"How long were you out in that weather? You could get hypothermia!"
>The wet Redheart cuddles into your arms.
>"I've treated hypothermia *cough* more times than you can count Anon, I know what to do."
>Cheerilee peeks up from the couch.
>"Nurse Redheart? What are you doing here?"
>Nurse Reheart peeks up from your arms.
>"Cheerilee? What are you doing here?"
>You could hear the confusion in both of their voices.
>Also, a bit of...
>Malice?
>No way, they are both too loving and caring to hold malice for anyone.
"I'll get you a towel and start some soup for us all, alright?"
>You place Nurse Redheart down on the couch next to Cheerilee.
"Be right back!"
>You are Cheerilee.
>This isn't how this was supposed to turn out.
"So! Why'd you come visit Anon? In such weather no less?"
>Trying to cover your slight rage with a tone too sweet to be real.
>"Oh, I came by to ask Anon out for a date."
>If you had a drink, you'd do a spittake right now.
>Preferably, into Nurse Redheart's man-stealing face.
>She thinks she can just purposefully try to get hypothermia to make Anon pity her into love?
>You won't let that happen.
>You need foals.
"Oh, that's certainly news!"
>She's trying to get you flustered.
>Trying to intimidate you.
"See, the thing is..."
>Time to drop the bomb.
"I already asked out Anon to a date for tomorrow, sorry."
Cont.
>>27166762
>You are Nurse Redheart.
>Cheerilee just dropped the bomb.
"Y-you're bluffing!"
>Cheerilee looks pleased at your reaction.
>She isn'f bluffing.
>She's intimidating you, you gotta turn this around.
>"Oh, you think so? Go ask hi- how's the hospital doing Nurse Redheart?"
"Fantastic! Thanks for asking Cheerilee!"
>"Glad to see you two getting along well."
>Anon has walked back into the livingroom with a towel for you.
>He wraps you up in it all cozy.
>He is also shirtless, probably due to your wetness when he picked you up.
>Score.
"Anon, could you give me one of those bellyrubs again after we're done with the soup?"
>Anon smiles.
>"Sure thing Ms. Readheart, it's no problem."
>You smile a triumphant smile at Cheerilee as Anon walks out.
>She looks jealous beyond means.
"Now... where were we?"
>Cheerilee's expression changes from jealousy to rage.
>She looks ready to pounce.
>Infact...
>You are Anon.
>As you pour some tofu into your soup, you admire the finished product.
>Aw yiss nigger.
>Homemade Miso soup.
>Thank god you were able to find that weird Asian-looking pony to sell you the seaweed.
"Alright girls, soup is d-"
>The warcry of two ponies fills your ears.
>Is Cheerilee teaching Nurse Redheart about the Ionian Revolt through reenactment?
>What a controversial teaching method!
>You gotta see this!
>You peek into the livingroom, hidden behind a wall.
>Wow!
>It's like they're actually fighting!
>They must do this a lot.
>Wait.
>That's blood.
>Redheart seems to have the upperhand, due to her extensive knowledge of the body.
>She is sick though, so Cheerilee could still beat her.
>Wait, shouldn't you break this up?
>"DIE YOU MAN-STEALING DAUGHTER OF A SHEPARD!"
>"WHEN THEY PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL, I'M INJECTING YOU WITH SO MUCH AIR YOU'LL DIE IN SECONDS!"
>Nah, just a bit longer.
>...
>Okay, you've had your fill.
"Ladies? I have soup~!"
>The two mares somehow tear themselves away from eachother in miliseconds, taking their previous positions on the couch.
>>27166907
>"So, how are the fillies and colts at school Cheerilee?"
>Despite still huffing and puffing from their interrupted battle, and the blood pouring from their wounds, they speak like nothing is wrong.
>Your prestine white couch is now a rich red.
>That costed you 300 bits.
>Oh well.
>"I'm glad you asked Nurse Redheart! The foals need some tutoring actually, would you be able to help with that, Ano-"
"Nope!"
>Cheerilee looks at you through two black eyes.
>"N-no?"
"Yeah sorry, I'm taking my girlfriend out on Monday."
>Nurse Redheart smiles victoriously, despite missing her two front teeth.
"My girlfriend Fluttershy!"
>Fluttershy meekly pokes her head out from your bedroom.
>"A-anon? What was all that noise?"
>You turn back to her, smiling.
"Nothing honey, would you like to join us for soup?"
>Fluttershy smiles.
>The four of your spend the next hour eating in silence.
>Cheerilee and Nurse Redheart don't touch their food, just staring at themselves in the reflection of their soup.
>You enjoy your meal with Fluttershy, the mare of your dreams.
>You still have to go out with Cheerilee tomorrow, as a friend, that is.
>That is, if she doesn't cancel, which is probably will.
"I'm glad everyrhing turned out alright!"
>At this, Nurse Redheart gets up from her seat, and leaves without saying a word.
>Cheerilee does the same shortly after.
>You sit at your table with Fluttershy, the smell of blood overpowering all other smells.
>"So... was that your fetish Anon?"
>You smile down at Fluttershy.
"No, but I owe you."
>Fluttershy smiles up at you now.
>"Wanna pay that debt right now?"
>Your smile is now gone.
>"Your b-bedroom. N-now."
>She looks positively giddy.
>You sigh, following her up to your room.
>At least you aren't
>Fucking Cheerilee or Nurse Redheart.
The end.
>>27167007
I did not see that ending
>>27167007
Kek
>>27162873
Glemps all around boys
>>27166907
>No she's my horse!
>>27167007
>>27152110
What kinks have already been done?
>>27169552
All of them.
Here at Flutterrape we invent new fetishes to exploit.
>>27169552
Quite honestly you'd be hard pressed to find something that hasn't been at least done in a one-shot story. That's why it's better to focus on building up an actual plot with a fetish theme instead.
>>27154185
>>27167007
anon is such a pleb in this story
>>27168567
Did you manage?
During the act of tribadism, if one of the partners should fart, is that a total turn-off for the other partner? What about the potential for introducing fecal matter into the partner's vagina? Isn't anyone else concerned about this?
>>27155055
Faggots like you are why the mods hate role-players so much, you double nigger.
>>27170431
I'll let you decide that one.
Surprise us, and we'll shower you in reaction images and four word sentences.
>>27169552
You'll have to dig if you look for something.
>>27171964
>Maud using her Maud Sense to keep track of you.
>Uses her Earth pony strength for binding you down.
>That apathetic face while she rides you.
Oh baby
>>27171964
Always bugs me how the lip sync doesn't fit.
>>27173053
The best (and most sexual) game of cat and mouse ever conceived.
>>27173123
That's tempting as fuck to write, but I'm swamped in other projects right now
Any good celestia greens? First time in this thread. Pic unrelated.
>>27170392ofc
>>27173175
Son, let me tell you a story of an Anon, the weather, an inflatable kangaroo and the Sun horse attempting to understand the traditions of a holiday from the land down under.
Or better yet, you can read Brownee's story yourself.
http://pastebin.com/Q4Ayhw0F
>>27173175
>>27173217
Once you're done with Brownee's tale, check out Slasher Science's Sunspots.
Infact, read all of Slasher's stuff.
The entirety of the thread will vouch for me on this.
http://pastebin.com/u/Slasher_Science
>>27173175
GMOH's "Exchange" is probably the biggest Celestia story we got: http://pastebin.com/b84cTjFa
Slasher's "Sun Spots" was pretty decent if my memory hasn't failed me: http://pastebin.com/QdKraGeT
Smudgey wrote a little musical about her one time if you're into that sort of thing: http://pastebin.com/s1REWync
I'm sure there's tons more but these are all I can think of at the moment.
>>27173217
>>27173260
>>27173280
Thanks guys.
>>27165734
>>27174828
you can do it
Gremp
Bump train: BEGIN!
Page ten bump
Alright, gonna try something bold here.
...
XOMP!
>>27183612
I can dig it
>>27183612
Avant-Garde.
>>27166178
Is that an injury worth writing a story over, or were you just being silly?
>>27185116
>Using your seemingly endless amount of injuries as inspiration.
I'm not sure wether or not thats a good thing, but you truly are something else, Mr. Brownee.
Batrape when?
>>27185116
Nah, just another accident in the same line of things I based that Sunset story on. The chick I based her on just sorta Batman'd me and my head went straight to the floor before the rest of me.
Not sure I can add that to the sequel.
Although I should really be finishing writing that in my recovery time instead of binge watching the Justice League...
>>27185337
Ahhh injuries are funny. What's the harm in that sort of inspirationbesides a self inserty aspect.
If its a bad thing, I'm yet to be told otherwise.
>>27185422
>Binge watching the Justice League instead of writing Shimmy sequel
That's only excusable ifit was Unlimited.
>>27185924Complete Series. First 2 seasons were regular, next 2 Unlimited.
>>27185946
Do Young Justice next. It's the closest you'll get to a sequel series. Warning, second season's latter half is rushed as fuuuck.
>>27186019
Was gonna do Batman Beyond after (then rewatch that Epilogue epsode of JLU after).
Also, side note... Hawk Girl is my favourite leaguer, but I'm finding that I would totally fuck that fat bitch Amanda Waller before her...
Making me think I really should get on an idea I had involving Ms Harshwhinny...
>>27185399
>>27186106
Nobody screws the Wall!
>>27186944
Personally, I think it'd be a pretty good idea.
It'd be nice to have a little thread-merger to switch things up.
>>27188452
>thread-merger
Vinny smells a green light to some ideas he has been contemplating.Imagine pic related as a more bumpy relationship.
>>27189105
>Satyrrape
>Batrape
>Abominationrape
>Mothrape
The possibilities are now endless.
>>27189163
>>27189105
>>27185399
The problem with thread crossovers is the other characters from those novelty threads aren't canon, so the reader/writer has to be a peruser of both threads with prior knowledge of the lore to have any idea what's going on. Unless you put in the effort to flesh out the story to be more than just a one-shot that is.
Flutterbat is the only one that actually has grounds for a story canon-wise.
>You head out to keep Rarity company while she is shopping. You meet her at a hot dog stand.
So then, fucking Fluttershy thought it would be a good idea to take all that mustard and slather it all over my naked body.
>“Uh huh.”
Like, the chains were already chaffing my ankles and wrists raw, you know. Where does she get off putting that irritating shit on me?
>“Indeed.”
It was really dark, too. At the time I didn’t know what this awful stuff that she was putting on me was, but the smell was making me sick. I never realized how terrible mustard smells until she did that to me.
>“Of course.”
So that’s why I threw up on you.
>Rarity uses her unique napkin to clean up the last of your vomit out of her mane.
>She looks at her napkin with disgust. It used to be white.
>“I understand.”
>She throws her napkin in the trash and wipes a single tear away.
>“So I take it that you do not want the hot dog that I bought for you.”
>You wretch. Rarity screams: “Not in my mane!”
>But you manage to choke it back down.
I’m good. You can have it.
>“Well, I’m not exactly hungry after your display.”
>Rarity eyes the hot dog greedily.
>“Oh dear, I really shouldn’t eat two hot dogs in one afternoon.”
>A devious grin appears on her face.
>“Well, I’d hate to waste food.”
>She takes the hot dog and walks over to the stand, where she drenches her new treat in ketchup.
>When she comes back the basket is so full of ketchup that you can’t see the hot dog.
>Rarity sees your grimace and smirks.
>“Well, I’m already cheating on my diet, so I might as well indulge a bit. It’s nice to pleasure yourself every once in a while.”
>Rarity takes a big bite and gets ketchup all over her cheeks and chin.
Uh, you’ve got a little bit of ketchup… everywhere.
>She wipes her mouth with her arm while still chewing and manages to smear the ketchup. She definitely looks worse now.
1/40ish
>>27190366
I think you might need to fish your napkin out of the trash.
>With a full mouth she says:
>“I goff amuthr.”
>She pulls out another white napkin with her name embroidered in cursive on it with purple silk, and she promptly stains the white fabric so that it looks like someone used it to wipe blood off of a knife.
>At least she daintily dabbed at her face this time, and didn’t smear the ketchup more. It’s still pretty bad though.
>“So has anything been going on lately, Anonymous?”
>Watching her smear all of that ketchup around her face reminds you of something.
Oh, I forgot to tell you about the mud bath.
>Rarity gasps. “A mud bath? You must forgive me Anonymous, but I did not think you were the type.”
Well, it happened this morning. So Fluttershy came by…
>You stop after Rarity sighs.
Is something wrong?
>“Not necessarily. Come on, let’s walk and talk.”
>You follow Rarity’s lead and head over to Knit and Knicker, the sewing shop.
>She quickly scarfs down the rest of her hotdog-ketchup bowl.
>“Oh, my stomach,” she groans.
>She holds her stomach and winces. “I always regret it when I cheat on my diet.”
You’ll bounce back. At least you still have your good looks.
>“Why, Anonymous, what a lovely compliment you have paid…” she stops when she sees you pointing in the window.
>When Rarity sees her reflection she screams.
>“I look… I look like Big Mac!”
You look like you went down on Big Mac.
>She hides behind your legs.
>“Where is a bathroom?”
Rarity, would you calm–
>“Get walking and find me a bathroom now! I need to wash. I am unclean and in public, Anonymous.”
There’s a drinking fountain over there.
>She settles for that.
You aren’t going to take five hours shopping here like you did last time, right?
>She huffs and finishes drying her wet cheeks. “No, Anonymous, I am here for a specific item this time. And it’s right over here.”
>>27190390
Anyway, Fluttershy pushed me into this pit of mud, right. And…
>Rarity sighs again and you stop.
You want to tell me what that’s about?
>“I don’t mean to be rude, darling, but it’s just that you talk about Fluttershy constantly.”
Well, yeah. That’s pretty much what goes on in my life: work, sleep, Fluttershy.
>“It just gets old when you have to hear somepony talk about the same thing over and over again. It’s like you’re obsessed with her.”
Me? Obsessed with her? You got that backwards.
>“Well, you talk about her all of the time, and it’s always negative. It’s almost like you hate her.”
I don’t hate her. She’s a pain, but I don’t hate her.
>“You don’t love her, and you don’t hate her, and yet you still talk about her constantly.”
Sheesh, you make it sound like I’m a broken record. Why do you hang out with me if you feel that way? It can’t just be because I’m handsome.
>“Goodness no, it is because I do occasionally find you charming and fun to be around.”
Like now?
>Rarity scrunches her nose. You laugh at her and she eventually chuckles along.
>“Anonymous, you are good for me.”
I am?
>“Of course, darling. You keep me in my line, and a good friend should always keep another friend in line.”
I’ll do it more often, then.
>“It comes naturally to you. A good relationship is always based on complimenting each other.”
I told you that you had good looks earlier.
>“Quite right you did. You are a cheeky monkey, Anonymous.”
>You shudder. Rarity looks at you queerly.
Don’t call me that.
>“Oh, did I offend you? I’m dreadfully sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
No, I’m not mad at you. It’s just… Fluttershy likes to call me monkey. The name kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
>“I see. Tell me something, Anonymous, what sort of compliment or contrast does your relationship with Fluttershy bring to your life?”
That’s easy. She gives me a whole lot of headaches.
>>27190406
>“And what do you believe she gets out of it? Certainly not headaches, right?”
I don’t know. She’s obsessed with me. So I guess she gets to feed her obsession, or something.
>“You really believe she’s obsessed? “
Um, yeah, she’s obsessed. I’m pretty sure her life revolves around me and her animals.
>“So her life is her work and you?”
That and sleeping.
>You laugh at your own joke. Rarity has a smug smile.
What?
>“Nothing.”
What is it?
>She turns up her nose.
>“I said it was nothing.”
I hate it when you get like this and you won’t tell me why.
>The two of you are silent as you walk up to the counter. Rarity pays for her items and chats with the clerk for a bit before you both leave.
>She starts humming as if nothing is wrong.
You know, my life isn’t actually about just work and Fluttershy. I do other things.
>“Like what?”
I’m hanging out with you right now.
>“Would you like to know who I went to the spa with yesterday?”
Well, so what?
>“Anonymous, what would we even be talking about right now if Fluttershy was not involved in your life?”
I don’t know, probably sewing.
>“I could talk your unfortunate ear off about sewing. But do you know who else could also do that?”
A knitter.
>“Fluttershy.”
Woah, woah, Fluttershy knits?
>“Yes, and she used to sing, too.”
On stage?
>“And she was once a boxer.”
Fucking what?
>“Alright, that last one was a joke. The others are true, however.”
>Good. Last thing you need is to find out that Fluttershy is some kind of secret championship boxer who could’ve kicked your ass anytime she wanted.
So Fluttershy really has hobbies?
>“Yes she does. I’m quite surprised you did not know any of this.”
She doesn’t exactly talk about her hobbies when our paths cross.
>“No, I suppose she may not. But I can confirm that she does have hobbies. Or maybe the word is did. You sure do seem to occupy her free time now.”
>Yeah, that’s the problem.
>>27190424
>But just knowing that that obsessed pony used to do other things is just sort of mind-blowing to you.
>You should think of a way to try and get her to start those hobbies up again. She probably wouldn’t bother you as much then.
>Right when you were about to ask Rarity for ideas on how to go about doing that she sighs.
“I can’t help but notice that we are talking about her again.”
Maybe her obsession is contagious.
>“Anonymous, don’t you think obsession is a harsh word to use? It’s a close cousin of addiction after all.”
Nope, if there’s anyone who I could easily say has an obsession, it’s her.
>“Well, I have a right mind to think you may be exaggerating. No pony can really be addicted to anything as long as there is a way to break said addiction.”
I take it you aren’t addicted to anything then.
>“I would say so.”
But that’s a lie. Because I know you obsess over the little details of everything.
>“That is not true. I simply have a keen eye for detail.”
What about “Buttonmageddon.”
>“Oh, do you have to bring that up?”
When you spent an entire day just trying to sew that customers’ button back on his tuxedo until it was, as you said, “Just right.”
>“That is completely different, Anonymous. That is my livelihood. It is a passion”–Rarity stops and strikes a pose–“for fashion.”
>You keep on walking and Rarity eventually catches up with you.
>“You can’t confuse a rewarding career with an obsession, Anonymous. That’s just silly.”
If you say so, lady Rarity.
>“You don’t believe me?”
I think you might be wrong, button lady, but I’m not sure why.
>“I’ll just have to prove it to you then.”
>The two of you arrive at the supermarket.
>“Come with me, Anonymous. I shall take you on Rarity’s road to right and educate you on what addiction really is.”
>Rarity grabs a basket.
>>27190442
>“You see, addiction is mainly cause by two factors: lack of self-control, or low sense of self-esteem. Often enough, the unfortunate pony that falls prey to an addiction is usually just looking for something to fill a void left in their life.
>“It certainly does not help that we do a good job of surrounding ourselves with temptation daily. Take this supermarket for example.”
>She gestures to the junk food aisle. “Temptation is present all around. If I lacked self-control I could easily go over there and grab a bag of honey hay.”
>Rarity levitates a pear into her basket. “And yet I choose to stick to my diet. That is self-esteem at work. I work at keeping myself fit and pretty because I already feel good about myself; I’ve always believed that it is unhealthy to think otherwise.”
Didn’t you just cheat on your diet five minutes ago by eating an entire bottle of ketchup?
>“That may be, but do you see me cheating on my diet now?”
You aren’t eating anything.
>“Quite right you are. And I will not eat again until supper.”
Sounds like a lot of work.
>“Why, it is. You are exactly right. Come with me, I want to show you something.”
>The two of you walk to the junk food aisle.
>“Look at the number of calories that are in this bag of potato chips.”
>You take the bag and grimace when you look at it.
Gross.
>“Doesn’t it horrify you.”
Guacamole potato chips sound nasty. Not to mention redundant when they’re selling real guacamole dip in the same aisle.
>Rarity groans.
I could never eat a green potato chip.
>“I’m not talking about the chips themselves. I’m talking about the nutritional benefits of eating the chips.”
Oh, what are they?
>“There aren’t any. Were you even listening to me?”
Yeah.
>You give Rarity the bag back. She shudders when she looks at it.
>“These chips are actually quite delicious.”
>Yeah right. Why should you trust the ketchup queen on matters such as taste?
>>27190465
>Rarity shakes her head and puts the bag back. She looks upon the foods with scorn.
>“The temptation of these awful foods is not to be underestimated, but I have explained my position quite well, I believe. Addiction can be prevented, and beaten, as long as you have self-control, and a strong sense of self-esteem.”
Okay, I’m proud of you. Can we go now?
>Rarity turns around and lifts her hoof proudly in the air.
>“Just let it be known, that I, Rarity, shan’t give in…”
>Rarity’s jaw drops; her hoof falls limply down and her eyes go wide.
>You look over your shoulder and see some kind of display set up in the store.
>There are dozens of small red boxes all neatly piled together.
>Rarity shudders.
>“A-are those…”
Are you okay?
>Her tail swishes from side to side and Rarity dashes to the pile of boxes.
>She grabs one and examines it closely.
>Her arms tremble and she throws her head back in ecstasy.
>“White chocolate cherry truffles!”
>She fills up her basket in almost no time, all while uttering several unsettling laughs of triumph.
>“I need a cart! Carts even!” She turns her manic eye to you.
>“Anonymous, watch this basket! Guard these truffles with your life!”
Rarity…
>She’s rushes off before you can say anything more.
>Looks like Rarity does give in to temptation after all.
>You really hope you didn’t cause her to relapse or something.
>”Ma’am, you can’t use more than one cart at a–“ the unfortunate employee jumps out of the way before she is run over by Rarity.
>Rarity arrives with three carts pulled by her magic.
>She fills all of them up; and the boxes are stacked up so high in her carts that she needs to keep the boxes stable with her magic when she pushes the cart.
>The two of you get in line. Everyone is staring at Rarity from the corner of their eye, but she’s too entranced with her truffle treasures to care.
Rarity, are you a former chocoholic or something?
>>27190482
>“You don’t understand, Anonymous. White chocolate cherry truffles are only manufactured when there is a strong demand for them. You can’t just get them on any day.
>“And besides”–Rarity opens a box and starts cramming truffles in her mouth–“they are heavenly.”
>“Ma’am, please don’t open anything before you’ve paid for it.”
>“I’m jush hafng a lidle bit,” she says with a full mouth
I thought you were full from eating two hot dogs?
>She turns to you and smiles with cherry-stained teeth.
>“There’s always room for a delicacy, Anonymous.”
>You left Rarity with her boxes, but not before she gave you a note to put on the door to her boutique.
>It reads: “Out Truffle Hunting! Back tomorrow (hopefully.)”
>You put the sign on her door, and then think on what you’ve learned so far.
>Rarity was going on and on about addiction, and how sure she was that she didn’t have one, yet you saw her go crazy over a tiny box of chocolate.
>If only you could get Fluttershy to go after something–that wasn’t you, for once–with that same ferocity that Rarity had to the chocolate.
>You have a theory now: it doesn’t matter who you are, everyone has an addiction in their lives; and if not an addiction then certainly a vice.
>You decide to go around and pay a few visits to test this theory.
>First you go to Twilight’s.
>You arrive and say hello to Twilight.
>“Hello, Anon.” She wears a shit-eating grin. “I suppose you’re here to tell me about something Fluttershy did.”
Have you and your friends been talking about me behind my back?
>“Of course not. That would make me a bad friend. It was just a lucky guess is all.”
Well, no, I’m not here to talk about Fluttershy. I actually have a theory to share with you.
>You tell Twilight about your theory.
So do you agree?
>>27190492
>“Certainly,” Twilight says. “I haven’t studied impulse control myself, but it’s pretty obvious that some ponies find comfort in certain habits, hobbies, and routines. It’s pretty easy to get used to something happening, and then naturally feel distressed when that something is taken away.”
And here I thought you had studied everything. Hey, maybe you’re addicted to studying.
>“Um, I don’t think so.”
So what’s your addiction then?
>Twilight giggles. “Anon, I don’t have an addiction to anything.”
But that discredits what you just said about my theory earlier.
>“My passion has always been my studies.”
You have a book addiction then.
>“Anon, you can’t have a book addiction.”
Are you sure?
>You gesture to the walls filled with books surrounding you.
This beats Rarity’s chocolate hoard by a mile.
>Twilight rolls her eyes. “Anon, this is the library.”
… Shit. Well, maybe I should–
>”What are you guys talking about?” asks Spike who just came in.
Hey, Spike.
>Spike started sweeping the floor.
>“What’s up, Anon? Got more Fluttershy problems?”
Nothing much. Yes. And I thought Twilight was addicted to books.
>“Oh. I figured. And she is.”
>“What? Spike, that’s absurd.”
>“Oh really?” Spike rolls his eyes. “Anon, do you know how many times we pass by a yard sale and she just has to stop and look at every book that’s there?”
>“So I like books. Is that bad all of a sudden?”
>“Twilight, you always end up buying every single book.”
>“They’re all books that I don’t have yet though.”
>“That’s not true. You have multiple copies of some books.”
>“The text varies between publishers. Don’t listen to Spike, Anon. He’s exaggerating.”
>“Should I go show Anon the study?”
>Twilight narrows her eyes at Spike. “You wouldn’t.”
>Spike wiggles his eyebrows. He looks at you. “There are literally piles of books that reach the ceiling in the study, Anon.”
>>27190511
>Twilight sheepishly grins at you.
So… are you addicted to books?
>“No!” Twilight exclaims. “You can’t be addicted to books if you read them.”
>“But you buy more books than you read, Twilight. How can you possibly–“
>“Spike, Rarity closed Carousel Boutique to go truffle hunting.”
”What? She did?”
>The little guy drops his broom and quickly runs out the door.
>“I’m coming to assist you Lady Rarity!”
>Twilight waves him goodbye, and then turns to you with a smug smile.
>”You were saying.”
I think I’ve got enough.
>“Where is Spike going in such a hurry?” asks Starlight Glimmer, who just came in the room.
>“He’s going to go help Rarity hunt for truffles,” says Twilight.
>“Wow, you were right Twilight; he really does drop whatever he’s doing to go help her.”
>Starlight sighs. “What a good friend.”
>“Yeah, sure.”
>“Anon, hi,” says Starlight.
Hey, Starlight.
>“How are you?”
I was just sharing a theory with Twilight.
>“Oh, is that something the two of you do together as friends?”
>“Hardly.”
Nah, it was just something I thought of today.
>Starlight pulls out a purple notepad and starts writing in it.
>“Oh, I bet you’re talking to Twilight about a friendship problem you’re having with Fluttershy.”
>Twilight giggles as you pinch the bridge of your nose.
>“Would it be alright if I sat in on this one with you two?”
Fluttershy is not my friend.
>Twilight purses her lips at you, but you shrug.
Well she isn’t.
>“Oh…” says Starlight. “I’m sorry. I figured she was since you’re always talking about her.”
Oh, come on. I do not always talk about her.
>“You kind of do,” says Twilight
I do not.
>”Then why are we arguing about it?”
Oh forget you.
>“I bet your little theory has something to do with her, too. Am I right?”
That’s it, I’m leaving. I got what I needed anyway.
>“I was just teasing, Anon.”
>You get up and head to the door.
>>27190521
>“Come on, don’t be mad.”
Bah.
>You slam the door
>“Wait up, Anon.”
>You turn around and see Starlight Glimmer running towards you.
>She catches up to you.
Something wrong?
>“Anon, I’m really sorry I caused all of that back there.”
Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m not mad. Twilight can be pretty snarky once you get to know her.
>She breathes a sigh of relief.
>“Thank you so much, Anon. I was sure that I had ruined any opportunity for the two of us to be friends back there.”
We’re already friends, Starlight.
>“Wait, really?”
Yeah, why not? Just because we’ve never really hung out doesn’t mean we aren’t friends.
>“Oh.” She smiles. “Okay, great. You have no idea how relieved that makes me feel. Heh, maybe I’m doing better at this friendship thing than I thought.”
I think so. Anytime you want to hang out just come find me.
>“Um, how about this Sunday? I’m organizing a friendly get-together or that afternoon”–Starlight’s pupils shrink–“Oh… Fluttershy is going to be there.”
>Starlight rubs her forearm and avoids eye contact.
>“I’m sorry. I guess I messed up again.”
No, I’ll still come.
>“Really?”
I know how important being friends with Fluttershy is to you. I can suck it up for one party. It’s not like I hate her; she’s just kind of annoying.
>“That’s great. You won’t regret it, Anon. I promise.”
>You wave goodbye as she excitedly trots off.
>“You just made friends with an alien, Starlight. If you can do that then you can make friends with anypony.”
>You’re going to pretend you couldn’t hear that.
>Oh well, you’ve certainly heard worse when meeting ponies for the first time.
>‘Hi, my name is Fluttershy. I’ve heard a lot about, and, um, I think I like you a lot.’
>You cringe at the memory. When that initially happened you thought she was just being cute and shy.
>If only you had known better.
>You go to Rainbow Dash’s house and call out to her.
>>27190538
>Yesterday she told you that she’d be busy all day today, but that’s exactly why you’re here.
>Rainbow flies out of her cloud-house and down to meet you.
>“What’s up, Anon? I can’t hang out today, remember?”
Yeah, I just thought I’d stop by and…
>You scratch your head.
Dash, you like The Wonderbolts, right?
>She nods. “They’re only, like, the coolest and best flying troop ever.”
>Well, this one likes to fill in the blanks for you.
You’ve probably got a lot of Wonderbolts’ merch then, right?
>She laughs. “A lot is right. Been collecting their stuff since I was a filly.
>“But look, Anon, if you don’t need anything then I really got to get back inside and–“
I get it.
>You turn around and make like you’re leaving.
I just thought that you might like to know about that super-rare Wonderbolt thing that was going on sale today.
>“Woah. Hold on.”
>Dash flies in front of you with that same wild look in her eye that Rarity had.
>“What Wonderbolt thing?”
I dunno. I just heard that there was some Wonderbolt rarity that was going on sale today.
>Dash rubs her chin. “But the Spitfire Soda Spritzer wasn’t supposed to be on the market until tomorrow,” Dash says to herself.
Well, I was sure that I overheard a lot of ponies talking about getting in line for it, and I know how much you like The Wonderbolts, so I thought I’d come by and say something.
>You say goodbye and walk away.
>Down the road a bit you hide in a bush and wait. And sure enough, after a while, Rainbow Dash comes whizzing by; speeding towards the market.
>Another success on your part; Dash even left whatever it was she was doing before to check up on your bogus tip.
>Just two other ponies to test this out on.
>Wonder what Rainbow Dash was doing anyway?
>As you walk away you see Rainbow Dash’s cloud house floating on the breeze.
>Is it supposed to do that?
>Meh, it’s probably not a big deal. Clouds float.
>This should be an easy one to figure out
>>27190555
>You walk inside Sugar Cube Corner and find Pinkie Pie at the counter.
>She looks a bit more manic than usual.
>“Nonny, I need your help.”
You do?
>“Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for agreeing to help me.”
What?
>Pinkie puts a plunger in your hand.
>Oh fuck! Not this again.
Pinkie, you need to unclog your own toilet. I can’t keep doing it for you.
>“Not that.”
>She tosses a saddlebag overloaded with sweets on top of the counter.
>“Take that plunger and really mash those puppies in there. I need as many sweets as I can eat in an afternoon. And I need it done Pronto Ponko, Nonny!”
>The ponies around you are eating as if none of this is actually even happening.
>Maybe one day you’ll get used to Pinkie’s insanity, but for now you’re still one who questions her methods.
Why am I–
>”Rainbow Dash asked me to watch her house for her while she goes to Cloudsdale to get in line for her Wonderbolts thingie.”
>Sheesh. You got her to camp out in front of the store?
But why–
>“The sweets are for me. Dashie never said if I could help myself to her sweets or not, so I need to bring an afternoons worth of sweets to her house.”
>You gingerly tap at the sweets with the plunger.
>Crumbs get all over the counter and Pinkie groans.
>She grabs the plunger out of your hands. “Here, let me show you.”
>She then starts ramming those sweets in, practically using the plunger like a jackhammer.
>You really don’t need to stick around for any more proof.
Um, I gotta go.
>“Okie dokie. But, hey, you were by her house recently. Dashie told me she didn’t finish reflooring her house with drift-less clouds, and that I should go over right away. But I had to bake all these sweets first or else I’d go crazy. You don’t think anything bad could’ve happened because I waited, right? Did her house look okay to you when you were there?”
>Oh damn.
Uh…
>A dark shade suddenly fills the interior of Sugar Cube Corner.
>>27190564
>Almost as if the sunny skies suddenly turned cloudy.
>You and Pinkie run outside.
>The two of you just barely catch a glimpse of Dash’s house floating by.
>Pinkie gasps and runs away.
>“Twilight! I need to borrow your balloon!”
>You don’t really need to do this next one for any particular reason other than it’ll be funny.
>You arrive at Sweet Apple Acres and patiently wait for Applejack to finish talking to her Granny.
>“I could’ve sworn I saw your cousin Pinkie Pie in Twilight’s balloon earlier.”
>“It was probably just your imagination, Granny,” says Applejack.
>Granny walks off while muttering something.
>“Anyway, what can I do you for, Anon?”
You like apples, don’t you, Applejack?
>She looks around at her trees with pride.
>“Shoot. I’d reckon so. Why do you ask?”
Like, you really, really love apples. Don’t you?
>She laughs awkwardly. “Uh, yeah, I do.”
What happens when you find an apple that’s been partially eaten or fallen before it’s ripe or something like that?
>“It’s a real shame is what it is. But an apple here and an apple there won’t hurt the farm any.”
>You hum.
How about this, let’s say that I grabbed an apple from one of your trees.
>You scan the apples on the tree next to you.
>“Well, you can’t just grab one. You have to pay if–“
That one looks good.
>Your finger caresses a clean, smooth, and shiny apple.
>“Anon, you can’t rip that off the branch now, you hear.”
Yeah, I like this one.
>“I don’t like the way you’re touchin’ my apples.”
>You rip the apple out.
>“What are you–“
And let’s say that I took a big bite out of it right in front of you.
>“Stop this. What’s wrong with you?”
What? Too scared to part with one of your precious apples?
>“It ain’t that. You can’t just treat an apple the way you’re doin’. It drives me–”
>Your teeth sink into the apple with a healthy crunch.
>Well, she didn’t have to hit you.
>>27190585
>Back home you’re filling up your ice pack with some cold water from the bathroom sink so you can put it on your black eye.
>You’ve also got a bottle of ibuprofen; you’ll take one of those later to keep the swelling down.
>At least you’ve got this all figured out now.
>Everyone has that one thing that they do to keep themselves busy, and that can be anything from their hobby to their career.
>Sometime during all of this fetish nonsense Fluttershy decided to make you her addiction.
>She’s obsessed with you, and you need to change that.
>You need to get her addicted to something else.
>You notice a pink hair on the sink that you’re sure wasn’t there before.
Oh great.
>She’s been in the house.
>You open the bottle of ibuprofen to check and–yep, that’s not ibuprofen in there; they’re sleeping pills.
>You’re probably going to have to throw out all your medicine now.
>And you should probably throw away your toothbrush, too.
>You caught her using it once in a way that… well it was not how they were intended to be used.
>Forget about that right now! You’ve got your awesome theory on your side.
>If you play this the way you think is right then you won’t have to buy a new toothbrush ever again… well, in a way, anyway.
>You’ve got five ideas for addictions that you want to try out today for sure. They’re obvious choices, but you have faith in them.
>Buying the supplies necessary for this plan is going to cost you quite a bit of money, but you want to make sure that you have enough of each supply to keep her hooked for a while when you get her addicted to something.
>Hopefully the coupons Rarity left you with will help with that.
>Either way, this spending should definitely be worth it.
>You arrive at Fluttershy’s cottage and knock on the door.
>She answers it and gasps when she sees you.
>“Anon! My goodness, what happened to your eye?”
>Hmm, you didn’t think of anything for this.
I, uh, got hit by a baseball.
>>27190606
>“Oh, you poor baby. Let mama kiss it better.”
>Fluttershy opens the door all the way, puckers her lips, and tries to hug you; but you keep her at arm’s length.
>You’re already sick of her antics, and the plan hasn’t even started yet.
Goddamn it, Fluttershy, stop it already!
>Fluttershy keeps making kissy-noises and giggling.
>Sheesh. You’d say anything to get her to stop this.
I liked it.
>She stops and raises an eyebrow at you.
>”You did? Is that your fetish?”
Ugh. Don’t ask that. Look, we got business we need to take care of. Can I come inside?
>“The answer to that question will always be yes.”
>She flutters her eyes at you, but you push her to the side and enter.
>You start moving her pillows off of her couch so you can fit on it.
>Behind you Fluttershy is digging through her closet, and you’re keeping an eye on her in case she does anything suspicious.
>If you even smell a shenanigan you’re going to turn around and yell “Aha!” so that she knows she has been caught.
>You move all the pillows away and pat the plush cushion.
>Just then you hear Fluttershy giggling.
>You smell a shenanigan.
>You turn around and point at her.
“Aha!”
>“Think fast.”
>All you know before you feel it hit your forehead is that Fluttershy just threw something at you.
>There’s a throbbing bruise on your forehead now.
>“Oh goodness. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”
You press on the pained spot with your hands and hiss.
>Fluttershy tries to pat your back but you wave her away.
>You look between your fingers and see Fluttershy nervously watching you; at her hooves is a baseball and a baseball bat.
You!
>Fluttershy sheepishly smiles.
>”Um, I just wanted to know…”
>You get up and stomp towards her.
>She hurriedly says: “if baseball was your fetish. But I’m guessing that it isn’t now. And I’m really sorry.”
I have had it with your tomfoolery!
>You grab the baseball bat and raise it up.
>>27190625
>Fluttershy covers her head with her arms.
>But then, right when you’re about to swing down, you catch the tiniest glimpse of a smile on her face through a small crook between her arms and a split in her hanging mane.
>That’s when you stop.
>You toss the bat to the side and go to the couch to sit down; a sigh escapes you as you relax.
>Fluttershy looks at you curiously. She clears her throat and says:
>“Um, I’ll get us some tea. Be right back.”
>She leaves to get the tea and you ponder over everything that just happened.
>Why would your reaction make her smile?
>Perhaps, as long as she gets some kind of attention from you, be it negative or positive, then that satisfies her addiction.
>If that’s true then that means you’re going to have to keep yourself in line around her.
>Do not give her what she wants.
>She comes back with the two full tea cups, and she almost gives you one cup, but then pulls it away as you’re about to grab it and gives you the other.
>“My apologies, I almost gave you the wrong cup.”
>You put the cup down and she watches it a little too closely.
>“Drink it while it’s hot. It’s really good.”
I’ll drink it later.
>“Oh, okay.”
>She sips her tea, smacks her lips, and then hums in satisfaction.
>She awkwardly nods at you when she sees you watching; as if you were waiting for her opinion or something.
>And no matter how hard she tries to look like she’s thinking of something else her eyes keep darting back and forth from your eyes to your tea cup.
>Yeah, you aren’t going to drink that tea.
Alright, you should know that I’m not really here for a friendly visit.
>“Oh, is it a conjugal one?”
>She tries to smile seductively at you, but your blank stare has her dropping eye contact in no time.
>Score one point for you.
Anyway, I’m here to test you a bit. Did you see my bag?
>You hold up your shopping bag that you brought with.
>>27190643
I brought some stuff that I’d like you to try out. I got more at my house in case you end up liking one.
>”Like what?”
Well, let’s just say that I think some of this stuff is going to make you…
>You feel a bit sick saying this next part.
More appealing.
>“Oh, sexier!”
Ugh, yes.
>Which is a big lie.
>Nothing that you’re going to make her do is to make her sexier in your eyes, but you most likely couldn’t get her to try them otherwise.
>“Well, what are we waiting for? Finish your tea and let’s get started.”
>You don’t move.
>Fluttershy’s eyes dart from your face and the tea cup expectantly.
>You frown at her and she sighs.
>“You know that it’s drugged, don’t you.”
Yes, but I also don’t really care for tea.
>“Are you mad at me?”
Shut up, Fluttershy.
>The two of you are walking in town.
>“I wish you’d just tell me where we’re going. Oh gosh, I’m so excited I can hardly contain myself.”
>She pumps her hoof and does a very soft “yay.”
>Dammit. She may be a pain in the ass but cute shit like that never fails to make you smile
Well, I wanted to get this one done while it was still nice outside.
>And while the lunch specials were going on.
>The first vice that you’re going to try is food.
>This should be easy. All you got to do is make Fluttershy eat some really addicting junk food and see if it sticks.
>And you know just the place to get things done.
Hey, here we are.
>Fluttershy’s smile disappears.
>“The Hayburger?”
And look at that. We got here just in time for the lunch specials.
>“Wonderful.”
Is something wrong?
>“No, this is… nice.”
What were you expecting though?
>“Well, what I’d really like is if you brought me to a hotel, and up in the sign it read: ‘Congratulations to the newly-engaged Anon and Fluttershy.’ And then, you’d get down on one knee, and–”
That’s not happening. Just follow me inside already.
>>27190668
>“Wait a second, Anon. I didn’t even tell you about how you’d remove the garter.”
>You ignore her and walk inside. Eventually she follows.
>The Hayburger, a place where lost ponies frequent; or at least that’s how it has been since the change in management.
>It’s run by angst-ridden teenagers. The same lonely blobs of pony eat here every day. And the homeless can’t afford to eat–or bathe–anywhere else.
>These ponies depend on this place to get them through the day.
>You’re hoping that Fluttershy could one day be one of these ponies.
>In spite of the ponies that frequent it, The Hayburger is a pretty nice place.
>It has a nice atmosphere. The windows are big, and lots of sunshine lights up the dining area.
>The tables are made of solid wood, and the seats are like sitting on the tops of barrels.
>The two of you take a seat and Fluttershy sits across from you; you have to spread your legs and hunch over a bit, but you’re used to that by now.
>You grab a menu and look at the special.
>The Bridle Buster Burger is what you want her to get.
>Time to sow the seeds and get her attention.
You want to know something, Fluttershy? I really like a girl who has a big appetite.
>“You do?”
That’s why I brought you here.
>“Can I take your order?”
>The two of you see the empty-headed teen filly that’s taking your order; she’s pretty much staring into space.
>Fluttershy winks at you.
>“Um, yes, I’ll have the special please.”
>You wink back at her and she smiles.
>“Which special?”
>What?
>“I’d like the salad bar please.”
>The teen writes that down. Fluttershy winks at you.
>Dammit, why do you have to do everything yourself?
>You clear your throat and point to Fluttershy.
Um, I’ll be ordering for the lady.
>“But, Anon,” says Fluttershy, “I thought that I got what you wanted.”
A salad bar is not for somebody with a big appetite, Fluttershy.
>“But it’s endless.”
>>27190680
>You shake your head at her and Fluttershy sighs in defeat.
>“Are you mad?”
No, I’m not mad. I just want to order for you, alright? I want to do this right.
>“You do? Really, Anon?”
Uh, yeah. Didn’t I say that?
>Fluttershy smiles and brushes her mane bashfully.
>“I guess you did. Okay, Anon. Surprise me.”
>You turn to the teenager.
I’ll be ordering for the lady.
>“She wants a salad,” says the teen.
>“Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I’ll get whatever it is that Anon wants me to.”
>The teen pony purses her lips and flips to a new page.
>“What’ll it be then?”
I’ll have a small lemon-lime soda and an order of onion rings.
>You grab a coupon out of your bag and give it to the mare.
She’ll have this.
>When the teen pony sees the coupon she hums and then writes something on her notepad.
>“Okay, your order will be out soon.” The teen sighs. “So make sure that you stay at The Hay and never go away.”
Did, uh, you mean to rhyme just then?
>The teen leans in close and whispers: “I had to say it. They’re doing evaluations today.”
>”I think you’re a wonderful hostess,” says Fluttershy a bit loudly. But no one seems to notice.
>“Okay,” says the teen.
>You and Fluttershy are alone now.
>“You really aren’t mad at me then?”
Not really. Aside from hitting me with that baseball your behavior has been pretty good.
>“I’m so glad you think so.”
>You shrug.
>”Because… well, you know.”
Know what?
>“Well, you’ve been treating me nice, and, um, you’re buying me lunch.”
>Fluttershy fidgets in her seat a bit.
>“It’s kind of… like a date.”
>She tries to touch your hand with her hoof after she says this, but you pull away.
This ain’t a date, alright. I’m just trying out some things that will make you…
>You can’t say it
>“Sexier.”
Ugh.
>“Here are your drinks,” says the teen.
>You and Fluttershy both say thank you without looking at her.
>>27190701
>“Still, I’m glad that you’re giving me a chance,” Fluttershy says.
Um… yeah.
>You focus on sipping your soda.
>“Here are your onion rings,” says the teen. “Your food will be out shortly, ma’am.”
>You eat the tiny horseshoes shaped onion rings. They’re good, but you wonder why they’re called onion rings when they aren’t shaped like rings.
>Horse world can be a bit weird about those kinds of things. You’re still not sure why they have doorknobs.
>Fluttershy puts two straws in her water cup and then moves the drink close to the middle of the table.
>“Anon, do you want to share with me?”
>You chuckle at her.
I’ve got my own water, Fluttershy. But you can have some onion rings if you want.
>“Oh, thank you.”
>She eats one and smiles.
>“I wish that there was one really big onion ring in here. That way we could both eat one end of it until our lips end up touching.”
If I were you I wouldn’t eat too many onion rings.
>“Why not? I thought you said that you liked a girl with an appetite.”
You have to have room for what’s coming.
>”Here’s your chocolate shake,” says the teen.
>Fluttershy’s eyes light up.
>“Oh, Anon. You got me a chocolate shake. Those are so expensive.”
>“You’ve got ten minutes to drink it,” says the teen.
>“Excuse me?”
>The teen then serves Fluttershy a hot plate, and what is on it makes the timid mare gasp.
>The Bridle Buster Burger is made up of four hamburger patties, four different types of cheeses, crispy lettuce, tomatoes, bacon, and spicy pickles, slathered in mayonnaise, cooked in lard, and served between two buttered, grilled buns.
>“And you also have to eat this in ten minutes, miss. The timer begins when you take the first bite.”
>Fluttershy lifts up the top bun and steam rises up into the air. She looks at you in disbelief.
>“Anon, I can’t eat this. It’s way too big. And… it’s made of meat. I really, really don’t like eating meat.”
>>27190717
Come on now, Fluttershy. Have you ever even tried it?
>“I don’t want to. It looks awful. This could give somepony a heart attack.”
Can’t you try it for me? You might really like it.
>You’re counting on it.
>“I don’t know.”
>“She doesn’t want to eat the burger,” says the teen.
>Fluttershy is looking at it conflicted.
>Shit. What did Rarity say earlier when she was eating that hot dog?
Isn’t it nice to pleasure yourself every once in a while?
>Fluttershy’s begins staring at you. You feel her leg prod your thigh and she bites her lip.
>“It is nice to pleasure yourself every once in a while.”
>You look away a couple times, but Fluttershy’s gaze is still directed at you; you can practically feel all of her lewd thoughts assaulting your face.
>“Alright, Anon, I know what you’re getting at. I’ll do it.”
>Fluttershy licks her lips.
>“I’m going to stuff all of this meat in my mouth for you.”
>The teen sighs. You’d do the same, if the situation permitted it, but instead you have to smile and pretend you like this.
>Fluttershy moves some of her long mane behind her ears. She takes a deep breath and stares at the tall burger in front of her with a determined smile.
>She pushes down on the burger and grease drips out and rolls down onto the plate.
>With a nervous gulp she closes her eyes and takes a timid first bite.
>She chews and chews and then swallows. A loud exhale follows.
>”Well, that wasn’t so bad.”
You only managed to take a bite of the bun.
>“... Oh dear.”
>“First thirty seconds are up,” says the teen.
>”Okay, okay, you can do this, Fluttershy.”
>She takes a deep breath and opens her mouth wide.
>She plunges her teeth into the side of the meaty burger.
>You can hear the juices squish as her teeth sink into the meat and tear it apart.
>She pushes the burger to her mouth to keep it from falling away from her.
>When she rises her cheeks are full and she’s wincing as she tries to chew.
>>27190732
>But then she stops for a second; she really chews the food in her mouth slowly.
>She hums and smiles. And when she finally does swallow she looks at you and says:
>“It’s really good.”
I knew it.
>She takes a big drink of her chocolate shake and you have to tell her to press on the roof of her mouth when she gets brain freeze.
>“I didn’t know how good this burger was.”
>She takes a big bite. “How good meat was.”
>Her bites become savage; she starts taking many little bites as opposed to single large ones.
Keep going, Fluttershy.
>Her cheeks are covered in ranch dressing and grease, but she’s attacking that burger like she doesn’t even care.
>“Oh, Anon, it’s good. It’s melting in my mouth.”
>One bite in particular causes a large drool of ranch to dribble down her chin.
>”All the flavor is coming in my mouth like its one big explosion.”
That’s it. You’re my prize horse, Fluttershy.
>She swallows and nods. “I am your prize horse, Anon.”
>“Five minutes,” says the teen.
>You look and see that half the burger is gone.
I think you’re actually going to do this.
>“Darn right I am my meaty monkey boy.”
>She scarfs down some more burger.
>This is going fantastically.
>If you can get her to come here every day she’ll be addicted to this food in no time.
>Fluttershy keeps eating like a champ for a couple more minutes before she starts to slow up.
>Only about a third of the burger is left, too.
Come on, Fluttershy.
>Her breathes are heavy and labored; she’s wheezing.
>”I’m… I’ll put the meat in my mouth.”
>She rests her teeth on the burger and takes a feeble bite.
>A loud gurgling sound comes from her stomach. She burps very loudly and rests her head on the table.
>”I don’t feel very good.”
>No! Dammit, you were so close.
Not even for me?
>She moans lowly.
Aw, come on.
>You pick her up by her mane and slap her cheeks a little.
Wakey wakey.
>>27190789
>You take a small piece of burger press it against her closed mouth.
Open up for the airplane. Come on, Fluttershy. Don’t you want the meat monorail?
>She’s too dazed to respond to you. You put the burger down and look into her eyes.
Would you just say something?
>“Anon…”
>She winces.
>“Anon, I want…”
Another bite?
>“I want–”her cheeks puff up and she belches; lots of spittle splatters onto your face and her breath smells like acid.
>You drop her and her head slams down onto the table; your eyes are watering.
>“Time’s up,” says the teen. “I hope you enjoyed your meal. Here’s the bill.”
>You owe The Hayburger about twenty bits. You would’ve only had to pay about ten if Fluttershy had finished the burger.
>“I…”
Are you sorry, Fluttershy? I hope you’re sorry.
>“I”–she jumps out of her seat and runs away–“I’ve got to go.”
>She runs into the bathroom and slams the door behind her.
>Great, she probably hates this food more than ever.
>This burger is total bullshit though. How is a little pony supposed to eat something that big?
>It’s like something you’d see back on Earth on some kind of eating contest.
>You look on the wall and see all of the ponies who have won the contest so far.
>They’re all unnaturally large. Their bodies look like watermelons and their legs look like toothpicks.
>It sure is weird to see a fat horse. Now you know why Rarity was adamant about dieting earlier.
>You take a look at the burger. This food must really be unhealthy to turn ponies into blobs like that.
>It sure smells good though. You can smell the meat still wafting in the air.
>Been a while since you’ve had some meat; you mostly eat either sweets or fruit now since it’s a lot easier to get.
>And that burger does look darn good.
>You grab a fork off of another table and cut yourself a small piece. You take a bite.
>>27190806
>Fluttershy went wild over this for good reason. It’s sweet, salty, smokey, succulent, and spine-tingling.
>You cut off the parts Fluttershy’s mouth touched and you start chowing down.
>It’s really, really good. You might have to come back here sometime soon and try out that challenge yourself.
>“Anon?”
Oh, I didn’t see you there.
>“What?”
>You swallow and say that again.
>“Do you like that burger?”
Hell yes.
>Fluttershy makes a face and turns away from you.
>“I don’t know how you could. I think I’ll throw up again if I even watch you eat it.”
You liked it before.
>“Yes I did. But I just can’t see myself eating anything like that again in the future.”
>She sighs. “I guess I can’t be your girl with an appetite.”
>You take another bite and savor the sweet flavor.
>Girl’s with appetite ain’t all that great; they never save you a bite.
Good news, Fluttershy. The restaurant gives anyone who takes the challenge a free bottle of antacid tablets.
>She snatches the bottle from your hands and eats four tablets.
I don’t think you needed to eat four tablets.
>She burps and groans again. “I took one for each patty.”
>Your attempt at getting Fluttershy addicted to junk food didn’t go so well.
>You might’ve overloaded her system a bit with that one.
>This next one should be a bit smaller in scale; no more enormous portions.
>“Anon, why do you like girls with big appetites?”
>You don’t – Oh shit! You don’t.
>Better lie.
It shows me that a girl isn’t dainty and prissy. You know, she can be one of the guys.
>“Oh.”
>Fluttershy eventually says:
>“I’m not really like that, am I?”
Well, no. Not really. But that’s not a bad thing. Some guys are into that.
>“Sometimes I have to get down and dirty with the animals I work with. Does that count?”
>Holy shit. You do not care.
If that was the case wouldn’t I be attracted to Applejack? She gets down and dirty, too.
>>27190822
>“You don’t like ponies though.”
Yeah, I know. I just said that to counteract your argument.
>“Oh.”
>“Anon! Fluttershy!”
>The two of you turn around and see Spike running after you; he’s pulling a wagon full of familiar boxes.
>When he reaches you he’s huffing and puffing; between breaths he asks if either of you has seen Rarity.
Can’t say I have.
>“Shouldn’t she be at work?” asks Fluttershy.
>“That’s why she’s got me,” says Spike. “She wants to get all of the white chocolate cherry truffles before she has to go back to work, and I’m helping her do it.”
>He stretches and groans before running in a new direction.
Okay then. Let’s go.
>“Anon, shouldn’t we tell Spike that he forgot his wagon and he’s not actually pulling anything.”
He’ll figure it out.
>“Okay. Well, what’s next?”
Let’s get back to your place and find out.
>“Anon, do you want to know what I find really appealing?”
Well… eh, alright. What?
>“Sex.”
Sex?
>“Yeah.”
That’s it?
>“We should try it and see if it works.”
I’m not fucking a pony. It’s going to take more than heartburn to get me to have a change of heart about that.
>As you’re heading to the room where Fluttershy is setting up the card table you say:
Alright, you don’t have a deck, and there’s a small problem with mine, but I think we can turn you into a gambling girl yet.
>You go into her living room and see that lots of her animal friends are all sitting at the card table with her.
>Fluttershy is also wearing a black pillbox hat and a pearl necklace.
Okay.
>You sigh and gesture to all of what you see before you.
Explain this to me.
>“Well, when I told all my critter friends that you and I were going to play a game they all wanted to join in, too. And I just couldn’t say no to their adorable faces.”
>>27190848
>The critters all cheer: Angel bunny, Beavery beaverton, Doug dog, Pogo possum, and Effervescing elephant, who could not fit at the table but will be playing by sticking his trunk through the open window.
We’re going to be gambling though. They need to put up money if they want to play.
>The elephant’s trunk plops a big bag of bits onto the table and Angel starts dividing them among the critters.
>These fucking animals are richer than you.
Alright, I’ll deal.
>You sit down and start shuffling the deck.
By the way, what’s with the get up?
>“Well”–Fluttershy lifts her veil up and leans on the table–“doesn’t it make me look like a gambler?”
I suppose it does.
>She winks at you.
>“Should I get the candles before we start?”
The what?
>“The candles.”
Why would we need candles?
>“Well, Rarity took me to a movie once. And there was a scene in that movie where everypony played cards by candlelight. They didn’t have electricity back in the old days–this was back in the days of the pioneers.”
This is not the age of the pioneers.
>‘Despite the lack of pest control,’ you think to yourself as you look at the critters.
Also, it’s still sunny outside. No candles.
>“But it would be so romantic.”
>You shuffle the cards.
Buy-in is five bits.
>You start dealing the cards.
>“What if I told you they were scented?”
No candles. Buy-in is five bits, so put five bits in the pot so we can play.
>“Anon?”
>You have the strangest feeling that she’s going to give you a headache today.
Yes.
>“What if you don’t have any bits?” she asks as she puts five bits in the pot.
Why are you asking me that?
>“I just want to know why?”
If you don’t have any money then the game is over for you.
>“But couldn’t you bet something else, like, um, your virginity?”
>She stares at you with half-lidded eyes.
No. And I’m not a virgin.
>”Well”–she brushes your hand with the tip of her wing–“can I bet mine?”
>>27190867
>That’s a win you could collect literally anytime you want; in fact, you wouldn’t have to win that at all.
All I’m going to say is no house rules. Can we play now?
>Fluttershy frowns and rests her chin on the table.
>“Something tells me I would’ve been a better gambler if my prize was to rut you.”
You’re going to have to deal with it.
>She straightens up and looks at her cards.
Now then, the game is poker.
>“Um, how do we play?”
You don’t know how to play poker?
>“Well, no.” She adjusts her pillbox hat. “But I’ve always had this hat in case I ever wanted to try.”
Shit. Okay, we’ll start with something simpler. I need the cards back.
>You shuffle again.
We’ll play Skat instead. We’ll each start with three cards.
>“Why only three?”
The object of the game is to get as close to thirty-one as possible. When you get close to thirty-one–and you think you have a good chance at winning the round–you’ll stop the round and everyone will put their cards down.
>“And whoever is closest to thirty-one wins?”
Yeah.
>“So, is that when I yell ‘Skat’?”
It isn’t fucking Yahtzee, Fluttershy. You don’t yell “Skat.”
>You finish dealing and look at your cards. You’ve got absolute crap.
>Playing cards is usually pretty fun, but whenever you’ve done it you always seemed to be the loser; so you began avoiding it for a while.
>This time you’re playing with a bunch of amateurs though. You’re bound to win at least once.
>“Anon, I only have ten.”
>And there’s your win; you easily had more than ten. Too bad Fluttershy isn’t playing the game right.
Fluttershy, you weren’t supposed to tell me that.
>“Well, it’s just, Angel bunny has twenty already. So, I’m pretty sure he won.”
>Dammit. He did.
Okay, stop telling each other what you have. You see that deck over there? You can have a maximum of five cards in your hand to make up your total number.”
>>27190873
>The critters chatter at Fluttershy and her ears go down.
>”Um, Anon, would it be okay if we used the term paw instead of hand?”
That’s fine. I don’t care. Just focus on the game.
>You grab a card and your hand doesn’t really improve any; you’re still down way low.
>”Skat!”
>You nearly jump out of your seat.
I thought I said we weren’t doing that.
>”Oh, right. I won’t do it again.”
>Fluttershy lays down five cards that add up to thirty-one.
>Goddammit.
>”I’m sorry for scaring you. Does this mean I win?”
How the fuck did you get five cards?
>”You said we could have five cards.”
No. You can’t just take five cards whenever you want. You can only take one card every turn.
>”So, there’s only five turns then?”
That’s what the discard pile is for.
>”The what?”
>If you had a gun you would’ve shown her the Dead Man’s Hand by now.
The round is only over when someone says Skat. The rounds can go on and on until that happens, and with each round you have to draw a new card. That’s what the discard pile is for; you can get rid of cards with low numbers that way.
>”Oh, okay.”
>Fluttershy picks her cards back up and the game resumes… goddammit.
I need the cards back, guys.
>You angrily shuffle the cards for the third time today.
>Maybe you’ll actually get to play a round this time.
>You deal them out and look at your hand.
>It’s pretty good. You’re pretty close to thirty-one.
>Fluttershy and the animals all play. You take another card and you get the Joker card.
>That’s a wild card. You just won!
Skat!
>Everyone looks at you funny.
I’ve got thirty-one. Read the cards and weep.
>Angel bunny starts squeaking at you.
You’re just mad you lost, sucker.
>You go to grab the bits, but the bunny bites you when you do and you pull back.
What the fuck is his problem?
>“Angel wants to know why you won when the Joker card doesn’t have any numbers on it.”
Jokers are wild cards.
>>27190895
>The bunny taps his foot angrily and squeaks some more at Fluttershy.
>“Um, Angel wants to know why you didn’t tell him that earlier.”
Because I thought it was obvious. Also, explaining things to all of you is really annoying.
>The bunny squeaks some more.
>“Um, Anon, Angel wants to start over again.”
Bullshit. You tell that bunny that he needs to stop being a big baby just because he lost.
>Angel shakes his head and hops off the table. The elephant grabs up all their bits and the animals all leave.
Fine! I don’t need any of you to play anyway. Fluttershy and I will play.
>“Anon, maybe we should stop this. This game is kind of confusing, and it’s making things awfully hostile around here.”
I am so tired of this. If you all would play the game right then it wouldn’t be confusing at all.
>“Well, can we at least play with a regular deck. I think maybe the Old Maid cards are what’s causing most of the confusion.”
The guy at the store gave me these when I asked for a pack of cards; this is all I have. And you don’t have any cards either. So, what do you want to do?
>Fluttershy taps her hooves together.
>“We could play Old Maid. I know how to play that.”
But that’s a game for kids. I’m trying to teach you how to gamble for fucks sake.
>“We could pretend.”
>She forces a smile. You hold your head in your hands.
>“I’m sorry, Anon, but I don’t think I really like gambling.”
>The feeling might be mutual after this ordeal.
>“Are you upset?”
>You’d bet on it.
>Time for a little break.
I don’t suppose you have a lighter in your house either.
>Fluttershy shakes her head.
I figured you wouldn’t. Good thing I bought one at the–hold on. You were going to light candles earlier.
>“Well, I do have some matches.”
Go get them!
>She nods frantically and does so.
>You didn’t really mean to shout at her that time, but you’ve never been around Fluttershy for this long before.
>>27190913
>She’s really starting to wear on you. You think you’re getting a headache.
>Maybe you need some fresh air.
>You go out Fluttershy’s back door where she has a wooden porch decorated with wooden chimes.
>Outside you breathe a deep breath of cool air.
>The sun is going down and the wind is picking up. It does you some good being out here.
>Faintly, you hear what sounds like a lit blowtorch. Walking away from the cottage so you can get a better view of the sky around you, you see Dash’s house still floating off in the horizon.
>Suddenly, from behind an expanse of clouds out bursts a big purple hot-air balloon; very high up but right above you.
>Pinkie Pie looks down at you from the basket; she’s like a tiny pink dot.
>She drops something and nearly falls out of the basket trying to catch it. A cupcake hits the ground.
>“Nonny, can you get that?”
>You cup your hands around your mouth.
No.
>“But that was my last sweet. Come on.”
>Is she serious?
>“Nonny.”
What?
>“Can you come up here and teach me how to lasso? It’s a lot harder to do than Applejack makes it look, and I have to catch Rainbow Dash’s house before it hits another random pegasus.”
I can’t. I’m busy with Fluttershy. And I can’t fly.
>“Oh, yeah.” You hear her giggle somehow. “I always forget about that. I’d love to stay and chat, Nonny, but I have to go. Tell me how it goes later. I probably don’t have to tell you that twice, huh?”
>If you had a BB gun you’d pop her balloon.
>The balloon soars up higher and goes behind the clouds.
>You walk back towards Fluttershy’s porch and you see that there are lots of little lights surrounding her.
>Out on the porch she has placed lit candles all around. She places one more on a windowsill, and then she relaxes in a deck chair.
>You smell vanilla and it makes you hum.
>She smiles at you.
>“See? Candles.”
>You shrug.
I suppose so.
>“Why don’t you sit down and relax, Anon?”
>>27190934
>She pats on a stool next to her chair.
>You don’t really like letting your guard down around Fluttershy, but she’s mostly behaved herself for the day… relatively speaking anyway.
>You take a seat and the wooden chimes hollow clank sounds with the breeze.
>The animals slowly start to come out and play in the backyard.
>A crunch comes from Fluttershy and you look to see if she’s pulling shenanigans.
>But she’s just chewing on a baby carrot. She has a bowl of fruit on a television tray next to her.
>“Would you like some fruit?”
>You are pretty hungry, but you’re not really digging that fruit right now.
Do you have anything salty?
>“Sure I do. Would you like a salt lick?”
>Fucking horses.
You got any potato chips?
>“Um, I think I might have a bag. Hold on a second please.”
>She leaves and you start looking for her matches.
>But you can’t seem to find them.
>By the time you remember that you brought a lighter Fluttershy comes back.
>“I found a bag of chips, but I don’t know if you’ll like them.”
>She gives you the bag.
>‘Hays milk chocolate covered potato chips.’
>Well, those guacamole chips don’t seem so weird anymore.
>You don’t think you can eat these.
This is real? It seems pretty weird to put chocolate on a potato chip.
>“I bought them for Pinkie Pie one year for her birthday, but she went kind of crazy.”
Probably got all hyped up on sugar I take it.
>“Well, not exactly. Right before her surprise party Rainbow Dash found Pinkie talking to a bunch of inanimate objects. We were worried about her sanity, so we decided at the last minute to get rid of any gifts that she could possibly talk to.”
>You blink once and open the bag of chips.
>>27190946
>“The only problem was that we weren’t sure exactly what criteria went into judging a gift’s–um, I believe Rainbow Dash used the word talkability–so we had to guess as to which gifts we should get rid of; and I was so nervous that one of my gifts would be the one that caused her to relapse back into her depression that I ended up taking out all of my gifts.”
>You have already eaten five handfuls of chocolate covered potato chips by the time she finishes the story.
>The chips are delicious. Just the right blend of sweet and salty.
>Fluttershy sits next to you again and sighs.
>“This is a very relaxing evening.”
>You eat a couple more handfuls of chips before saying:
Do you want to know what I hear is really relaxing?
>“Oh, massages? I could give you one on your lower back if you want.”
>You ignore her and reach into your bag. You toss her a tiny carton.
Smoking.
>You smile at her, but Fluttershy just goes back and forth from looking at you and the carton apprehensively.
>“Are you saying… that you like girls who smoke?”
You sound very judgmental. Weren’t you dressed up as a gambler earlier? You know what a lot of those people do, right? They smoke is what they do.
>“Oh, Anon. I don’t think I can do this one.”
Look, let’s not deny it any longer: smoking makes you look cool. There, I said it. And if you want to hang around with me then you have to be cool. I like a girl who has got style.
>“But, Anon–”
I already know what you’re going to say. You’re going to tell me all about how smoking is bad for you. Yeah, we get it. Everyone knows that. But we can’t just pretend that we didn’t used to love it just because we discovered some nasty facts about it.
>>27190971
>“But–”
Look, smoking is only out of style because we used it for decades to look cool without fully understanding the negative effects it had on the body. Everyone felt fooled, and that is why we were so ready to demonize it. If there existed an option to prevent those effects we would’ve never demonized it so harshly, we would still be doing it today, and people with smoking related illnesses would only be getting lectures from their parents about personal responsibility at best.
>“Anon, I’m just trying to say–”
That’s the great key to all of this; the paradox. It all lies within personal responsibility.
>You open the carton and grab a cigarette.
We need to show everyone the error of their ways; their flawed logic, and their hypocrisy.
>You hold out a cigarette for Fluttershy to take.
Do the responsible thing, Fluttershy. Start smoking.
>“Anon, I’m asthmatic.”
>The cigarette slips out from between your fingers.
Excuse me?
>“I have asthma. If I smoked I could really damage my lungs more than the average pony could.”
You have asthma?
>“Yes I do. Haven’t you ever noticed how often I hyperventilate?”
Well, kind of. If you’re asthmatic don’t you need an inhaler?
>“I used to use one, but I don’t need it anymore. Still, I can’t do anything that could irritate my lungs too much. I’m sorry, Anon, but I don’t think I can be your smoking girl.”
>You rub your temples. You can feel your headache coming on again.
Yeah, I understand.
>“Are you angry with me?”
>You shake your head without looking at her.
It’s nothing.
>“I’m sorry you didn’t know I had asthma.”
It’s fine. And it isn’t that anyway.
>That last bit was a lie.
I just think I’m getting a headache.
>“Oh, maybe you should go home and take some ibuprofen.”
>You stop and give her a blank stare.
And how do you know I have ibuprofen in my house?
>She shrinks in your gaze.
>>27190985
>“L-lucky guess.” A nervous laugh follows and slowly fades as you continue to stare at her.
>You return back to your solitude when it is silent.
>“I’m sorry.”
>You’re way too embarrassed to even be mad at her about this right now.
>“Anon, are you mad?”
Yes! I’m fucking mad!
>Fluttershy hides behind her chair.
Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve yelled.
>You rub your head and moan.
>“I’ve, um, got some real ibuprofen inside. I could bring you one and a glass of water if you want.”
>The glass of water sounds good.
>In fact, you’re pretty thirsty.
>Maybe a drink would help your headache.
>A special kind of drink.
Come on, I got something that’s going to lift our spirits.
>You go to the living room and reach inside your bag and pull out what has been weighing it down this whole time.
>Two cases of fizzy apple cider, with six bottles in each.
Straight from the Apple family.
>You put the cases down on her coffee table.
>“Cider?” Her eyes light up. “Do you like girls who like cider?”
>Oddly enough, you actually do. This is the one attempt that is actually genuine.
>That’s why it’s second to last.
Sure do.
>You grab a bottle and twist it open. It only takes one long, smooth, sweet drink to make you feel good.
>Licking your lips you say:
Girls who can hold their own in drinking really get me going.
>“I really like cider, too. But, um, what exactly do you mean by hold their own?”
You know, drink a lot.
>“Oh… I see.”
Don’t feel bad. What’s your limit?
>“My limit?”
You know, like, how many beers do you usually drink when you… go out.
>Does she even go out?
>“During cider season I usually only have one mug a day.”
>One. Fucking only one.
I thought you liked cider though.
>“I do, but I don’t like to drink a lot of it. I’ve seen what it does to Rainbow Dash, and I don’t think it’s such a good idea to drink so much. She never listens though. I always have to bail her out or hold her mane.”
>>27191002
You’re seriously telling me that you’ve drunk this wonderful cider before and never craved another?
>“Well…” She blushes and it seals her decision.
>She looks at the bottles, and then at you.
Let me get one for you.
>You open a bottle and give it to her.
Don’t drink it yet. Smell it first.
>“Um, okay.” She smells the cider a couple times; her eyes close and she takes one long smell and moans.
>That’s the pony sense of smell for you.
Now take a little sip.
>“Okay.” She takes a little sip, smacks her lips, and then looks to you again with a smile.
>“Now what?”
Is it good?
>“It’s very good.”
>She watches you go to the couch and sit down.
Then enjoy.
>You take a drink yourself.
>When the bottle comes down you see Fluttershy raising hers up in the air.
>You do the same and she flies over to you.
>Cheers.
>The sky’s losing the last of its sun. Soon that red sky is going to be nighttime.
So have you ever even been buzzed before?
>“I don’t think so. Can you get buzzed from one bottle of cider?”
>You shrug. You know you certainly can’t.
>“Rainbow Dash told me being buzzed is like flying on the ground.”
That’s probably accurate for a pegasus, I think.
>You take a drink to find out. Someone has got to do it.
I ain’t flying, but I’m going to get there.
>“Wait for me.”
I’m almost done. Keep up.
>Fluttershy nods. “I will.” And then she puts a straw in her bottle.
Is that going to help you drink faster?
>“Yes.”
Alright then.
>You finish off your bottle and set it on the table.
I’ll wait for you.
>It takes her a few tries, and some nose scrunches, but she chugs that cider through her straw and finishes.
Good?
>She’s smiling. “Sure is.”
Good.
>You open another bottle for her and yourself.
>“Hey, Anon, do you get butterflies when you’re buzzed?”
Yeah, but they ain’t normal butterflies: they’re brain butterflies.
>This makes her stop before she takes another drink.
>“What?”
>>27191012
Ah, you’ll like ‘em.
>You both drink.
>“How will I know if I get drunk?”
You’ll know. I don’t usually drink to get drunk, but I can tell you that you’ll know when to stop.
>Hopefully anyway.
>“Will you help me if I get sick?”
I guess I can be your Fluttershy tonight.
>“W-will you take advantage of me?”
>You want to glare at her, but you just can’t. You laugh because you’re in a good mood.
>“You’re laughing?”
What of it?
>“Well, usually I’d expect you to get mad.”
This cider is too good for that; being upset ruins cider.
>“So you won’t take advantage of me if I get drunk?”
I bet you’d like that. No, I won’t.
>“I think I’d feel a warmth in my chest if I got drunk.”
You’ll feel warm. I can tell you that.
>“Anon, can we do this together again sometime?”
We’ll see.
>To be honest, you really wouldn’t mind.
>Flutteshy focuses on her cider now.
>But you’re going to have to see how she handles her drink.
>A drunken Fluttershy could be interesting; maybe even funny.
>Another bottle down.
>“I think I like this.” She stretches her wings a bit.
>“I wouldn’t say I’m flying yet, but I think I might be… getting air. Does that make sense?”
>Another bottle. Her head is starting to tip occasionally now.
>“Okay, so he overwatered my flowers again. I know it’s mean, but I just want to go up to him and say ‘hey! Why don’t you go water my stream by my cottage if you love watering so much?’
>“But, at the same time it isn’t really a question. I would be mad at him, so it’s like telling him.”
>Another bottle.
>“I think I’m flying now.”
>Fluttershy extends her wings out all the way and knocks over a lamp in the process. The thud is hollow and it echoes after the lamp stops bouncing on the floor.
>She stares at it for a long time.
>“Oh no.” Then she starts to snicker.
I can’t believe that didn’t break.
>>27191045
>“It’s not plugged in. So we can walk by it without worrying about getting shocked.”
I’ll go unplug it.
>“No.”
>She shakes her head at you.
>“Just leave it.”
Hey, I heard that you used to sing?
>“I still do. Want me to sing?”
>She tries to clear her throat, but you’re pretty sure she’s just grunting.
>~”What is this place full of so many wonders?
>~”Casting a fell, and the lamp is now under
>~”The table where we don’t have to pick it up
>~”And I need another drink. I need another cup.
>~”Cu–“ she belches.
>Another bottle.
>You follow her outside to watch her try and feed her animals.
>“I… really shouldn’t’ve drunk cider before I did this.”
I don’t know. The birds seem to like it anyway. So what if you spilled the whole bag?
>“Anon”–she stands on her hind legs and presses her hooves on your chest so she can lean on you–“Anon, they’re going to get fat!”
>Fluttershy breathes in your face. She closes her eyes, puckers her lips and kisses… your chin.
>You take one step back and she falls to the ground. She tries to get up a couple times, but her hooves fall and slide around so much it’s like she’s laying on ice.
>“Ugh, help me up.”
Why don’t you just fly?
>“I can’t. You have to give me mouth to mouth.”
>Great, she’s getting started.
>You go back inside and find those chocolate potato chips.
>As usual you are barely buzzed from this, and you only have one bottle left.
>“Anon! Come pick me up!”
>She’s getting annoying pretty quickly.
>You decide to drink the last two bottles yourself. Fluttershy doesn’t need any more cider.
>The whole time you’re sitting there, eating chips and drinking, Fluttershy keeps shouting about you coming and picking her up.
>You’re going to have to put her to bed soon or something.
>“Anon.”
>Fluttershy’s mane is messy from rolling around in the grass. She’s leaning on the doorframe.
>“I want to know who the… wait.”
>>27191063
>She stumbles over to the couch and jumps on your lap.
You’re beginning to act like your usual self again. But was it really necessary to crush my chips?
>Fluttershy rocks a bit on your lap and you know your chips are crumbs now.
>“I want to know something.”
>She starts crawling up your chest. She rests her head on your shoulder; her breath is hot and smells like cider.
>“I want to know,” she’s whispering, “where you got that bruise on your forehead.”
You hit me with a baseball, stupid.
>“Oh yeah, okay. Um, are you mad? No, I meant the other thing, your eye.”
That was nothing.
>Fluttershy hugs your neck.
>“If somepony ever hurt you… I’d stand up for you.”
>You hear something. It sounds like sniffling at first, but then you feel something wet hit your neck and you realize Fluttershy is drooling on you.
That’s enough of this.
>You support her butt with your arm and pick her up. She moans and rubs her cheek on your shoulder.
>Using your knees you bend down and pick up the bag. You head upstairs to put Fluttershy in her bed.
>“Can you feel it, Anon? Anon?”
What?
>“Can you feel a warmth? I do.”
>You open the door to her room and set the bag down inside.
>It’s dark and it takes you a while to find the light switch.
>When you try to rip Fluttershy off of you to put her to bed she clings to your neck.
Off. Get off.
>She whines and says she wants to.
>You pry her hooves off your neck and lay her on her bed.
>She tries to grab you again before you back away. She’s falls flat on her back; open wide everywhere.
>Looks like she’s still got a television in her room.
>Now you can give her the final test and this fucking mess can be over.
>“Anon, I want you to come here.” She pounds on the bed with her hoof.
>You dig in the bag for the movies you bought.
>There are three movies. One is a standard porn affair called Service Stallions: Taking Care of Business.
>Then there’s Homo Horse Honolulu 2; yes it’s gay porn.
>>27191078
>And last, but not least, is The Mare Muff Monster Mash.
>You really didn’t want to buy this one because you were worried the costumes they wear in it would scare Fluttershy, but you could only spend so long in a horse sex shop before you start to rush some important decisions.
I’ll just put in the regular one first.
>“Put it in.”
>Turning around you see Fluttershy is rubbing her crotch and looking at you.
>Just ignore her.
>You go to her television and Fluttershy starts asking you to put it in again.
>Doing your best to ignore her you turn on her television and tape player.
>You never see any movies around here and yet she has a tape player.
>“I’m coming, Anon.”
Not before you watch the movie.
>By the time you hear the bed squeaking she has already grabbed your leg.
>Shit. Guess she really was coming.
Get off.
>“I want you.”
>You pick her up and put her back on the bed.
>The tape goes in the player and you hit play.
I want you to watch these movies I put by your television. I’ll be out there while you… enjoy them.
>“I want to enjoy you. Why do you always ignore me?”
Trust me, I don’t. Stay there.
>She squints at you and is clearly looking to beat you to the door.
>You dash to the door. Fluttershy’s face hits the floor the second she runs out of bed to run on.
>The movie starts, and unfortunately you can hear everything that’s playing.
>Of course, you’d be able to hear it clearer if Fluttershy wasn’t calling your name and knocking on the door.
>You try to ignore her and listen to the movie, because even horse pornography was more pleasant to listen to than Fluttershy’s drunken ass moaning your name.
>From what you can gather the stallion is some kind of elite plumber. In fact, he’s such a good plumber that he’s the only one who can fix the pipes of an old school building that is being converted to a sorority.
>It escalates from there.
>>27191093
>Even after thirty minutes of hearing horses getting fucked Fluttershy is still by the door trying to convince you to have sex with her.
>“Anon.”
What?
>“You can come inside if you want.”
Just watch the damn movie.
>You’re getting tired.
>“Anon.”
What?
>“Do you want a crack?”
>You sigh.
>“A plumbers crack at that ass.”
Please don’t quote the movie to me.
>The movie eventually ends. The house is silent. Fluttershy hasn’t bothered you for a while.
>You close your eyes and listen to see if maybe she fell asleep.
>“Anon.”
Goddammit, what?
>“Why won’t you just come in?”
I don’t want to watch you touch yourself. Go pick another movie.
>You hear her stumble a couple times as she gets up.
>“I wish you’d come sleep with me.”
Well, tough luck. You know better.
>“If I go to bed without you our date will be over.”
I thought I told you this wasn’t a date.
>“It is a date though. You were looking for something in me.”
>You close your eyes and rest your head against the door.
>“I’m going to play a tape like you said to. Then you have to come in.”
>‘I won’t,’ you think to yourself.
>You can hear Fluttershy put a tape in and press play.
>She goes to her bed though, which is a nice surprise since you were sure she was going to go by the door again.
>You wait for the movie to start, but for some reason Fluttershy keeps talking to herself.
>“Anon went for a swim today and I saw a lot more of his skin than I usually do. I think he has a great body.”
>Creepy mare.
>“I slathered Anon in mustard today. I don’t think his fetish has anything to do with being covered in strange liquids, but we’ll find out for sure once the mud…”
>You don’t know what she’s trying to accomplish with this.
>“Anon and Rarity like to talk about me sometimes–“
>How does she know that? She shouldn’t know that.
>Okay, maybe Rarity told her.
>>27191115
>“As long as I keep leaving a hair in his house he’ll never suspect that I actually follow him around town, too.”
>What?!
>“Oh, I’m going to throw up.”
>You open the door and go inside. Fluttershy opens a window and vomits outside.
>What’s playing on the television does not look like any of the movies you bought at all.
>Fluttershy is on the television. This looks like a home movie.
>She’s outside in the sunshine and talking to the camera:
>“I’ve got plans to make more of these videos.”
>The camera moves and you see yourself walking down the path to your house.
>Your back is to the camera and you are completely oblivious to the fact that Fluttershy is filming you.
>“I have to capture as much footage of Anon as I can. He’s such a wonderful creature. I never stop thinking of him. There’s always an itch I have to scratch when it comes to him.”
>You scratch your ass and Fluttershy sighs.
>“Truly there’s no end to his sex appeal. I don’t know what it is about him that compels me to act the way I do around him, but I do. I can’t imagine life without Anon, even this video is no substitute for the real thing. But it’ll have to do.”
>The television screen turns blue and the tape ejects from the player.
>You grab it and approach Fluttershy, who is still puking out the window.
What is this?
>She looks at the tape and gasps.
>“That’s my movie.”
Fuck you it is. How long have you been filming me?
>“I–“ her cheeks puff and she throws up out the window again.
Answer me.
>“Not long,” she manages to say.
>And in the movie she says that she’s got plans to make more, but not that she has made more.
>You grab her by the mane and look into her eyes.
>It doesn’t matter that she stinks like vomit and cider, or that she’s in pain, or that she was actually surprisingly pleasant to be around for some of the day.
If I find out that you’re still filming me after tonight I will hurt you. Do you understand?
>>27191126
>“Yes.”
What?!
>She flinches and nods frantically.
>When you let her go she goes back to hanging out the window.
>“Please don’t take the tape.”
Okay.
>You break the tape over your knee and leave.
>When you get home you slam the door and just stand in place.
>This entire day was a fucking disaster.
>Not only is Fluttershy not addicted to anything different, but you think you might actually hate her now.
>And she isn’t going to go away. You know that for sure now.
>You look at all of the supplies you still have. There’s an excess of nearly everything that you used on Fluttershy.
>Stupid theory of yours turned out to be a total bust though.
>What do you have to do, introduce heroin to Equestria just to get Fluttershy to leave you alone?
>You grab a bottle of booze and get the uncontrollable urge to break it.
>Shatter the bottle into a million pieces. Throw it against the wall. Take your frustration out on something.
>But that won’t solve anything.
>How the hell are you going to be able to keep going knowing that Fluttershy is going to stalk you forever, with a strong possibility of increasingly bad behavior?
>The irony in all of this is that finding that tape of Fluttershy was actually a good thing.
>Now you know how twisted she really is.
>Good thing she got drunk, or else she might’ve never slipped up like that.
>At the same time you wonder if this is what she wanted.
>Does she even want to date you really, or does she just want to live in her own little fantasy world?
>If she really wanted you then why would she do the things that she does?
>It doesn’t make sense. You don’t understand it, and you don’t understand her.
>You’ve had enough of Fluttershy for a lifetime, but you’re just ggoing to have to see her again tomorrow and tomorrow and soon.
>How are you supposed to deal with that?
>You look at the booze in your hand again.
>The cap twists off easily.
>You take a swig.
>>27191148
>On Sunday afternoon, at Twilight’s castle, Starlight’s party has been going on for an hour now.
>As far as you can tell it is going well.
>You certainly like it.
>Rarity is in the corner doing sit-ups. She’s dressed in her own workout outfit, which, among other things, has a sweatband that says ‘Born to be Fabulous’ on it.
>Every time she comes up from a rep Pinkie Pie feeds her a truffle. Every time Rarity goes down Pinkie eats something sweet off her own.
>Even a sugarholic like Pinkie knows better than to eat one of Rarity’s truffles.
>Spike runs into the room. The wagon he pulls behind him is full of the last boxes of truffles that will be made for the indefinite future.
>Unfortunately for Spike, that does not mean that this will be his last delivery to Rarity. The little guy will need to make a lot more trips before all of the stores are cleaned out one last time.
>In another corner Rainbow Dash is showing off all of the latest Wonderbolts merchandise that she bought.
>She’s wearing a blue cap with wings on the side, a replica Wonderbolts vest decorated with collectible pins, a pair of Elite Flyer brand goggles, and some other goofy shit that you can’t really describe.
>She’s even writing using a pen that has Spitfire’s head as the ballpoint.
>“Twilight, how do you spell negligence? My lawyer said that I had to write that in this part of the insurance papers.”
>“Hang on for one second,” says Twilight. “I know I left one of those copies of Equestria Encyclopedia somewhere around here.”
>Twilight is surrounded by books. She has two piles of them sorted as “Read” and “Not Read” but you would never know that by looking at her; it just looks like she’s got books all over the floor because the piles are so big that they bleed into each other.
>>27191165
>It even confuses Twilight herself, as she spends ten minutes looking for a specific version of the book she needs, while Rainbow Dash just asks Rarity to spell it for her instead.
>Applejack is in the observation corner–also known as the cool corner–with you and Starlight.
>She’s just eating apples, talking to Starlight, and laughing at her friends.
>That just leaves Fucking Fluttershy. And she should be back any second now.
>The doors fly open and the devil spoken of enters.
>She drags in a big sack–nearly as big as her–and she flies up to you.
>“Guess what’s in this bag, Anon?”
>You shrug.
Something for me?
>She opens the bag and a lot of what you recognize as your clothes spill out onto the floor.
>Fluttershy jumps into the pile and starts smelling everything. She puts on your clothes to, “get completely buried in your scent.”
>When she’s good and drunk on your aroma she flies up to you.
>“So what did you think of that?”
>You open your bottle of Applejack Daniels and take a swig.
Whatever, Fluttershy.
>“What? B-but I rolled around in your clothes. I smelled them right in front of you.”
Yeah, I know. I was there.
>Fluttershy just stands there as if you were going to say something else.
What?
>She sighs. “Nothing, I guess. Is there, um, anything I can do for you?”
Go get me the usual.
>“A burger and some smokes?”
Yeah.
>Fluttershy brushes her hoof against the ground. “Will you pet me if I do?”
>You burp.
Whatever.
>Fluttershy smiles and gathers up all of your clothes and leaves with them.
>Starlight nudges you. “Looks like you might not have to worry about her anymore.”
Maybe.
>“Speaking of Fluttershy and her… ways,” says Twilight, “I finally got around to reading a book I bought a year ago called The Modern Encyclopedia of Mental Maladies, and I read some interesting things about compulsions.”
>You notice Twilight is looking at you expectantly.
Um, okay.
>>27191183
> “As it turns out, a compulsion is defined as an irresistible urge to act a certain way.”
Well, ain’t that a bitch? Learn something new every day.
>“Yeah, apparently lots of ponies get addiction and compulsion confused with each other.”
>Starlight Glimmer smiles and writes in her notepad.
>“So this is what it’s like to be at a party with friends, fascinating.”
You got it.
>You take a drink from your bottle of Applejack Daniels.
>Applejack Daniels never tastes better until after you’ve had a good wank, a smoke break, and something bad for you to eat.
>As far as gambling goes you’re betting that the alcohol is most likely going to kill you before the other indulgences get a chance.
>You burp and take another drink of Applejack Daniels.
>In the bottle you see your reflection.
>You look a bit lethargic.
>Teeth are turning yellow.
>The rings under your eyes are really noticeable now.
>You hug the bottle and smile.
>You never look better than you do when you look at your reflection in a bottle of booze.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJqKkZ1VVMk
>http://pastebin.com/6MLHgkBEthis story is about a month old. I've been meaning to post it for a while, but I don't have a stable internet connection anymore. this story has got obvious problems, but I enjoyed writing it, so I thought I'd share it anyway. I'm getting better at writing, and I know the next thing I post will be something I can really hold my head up high about. I'll see you guys again sometime.
>>27191233
Comfy but just a bit 'all over the place'. 7/10
Hope to read more of your work in the future.
>>27191233
Damn! Been too long since we had a thick and meaty story
>>27191233
I liked how well it was fleshed out with details. Especially how you described that burger... even though I'm feeling full from a big dinner, my mouth was watering while I read that bit.
>>27192236
>thick and meaty
>thick
>and
>meaty
=P~
Yemp
Womp
>>27191233
I loved this, the intro felt kind of random and long and there were typos occasionally, but once it got to the point everything started getting interesting.
It's nice to read a story that takes its time for once. Sometimes I just wanna spend a day enjoying the scenery before rushing to the punchline and I'm glad you didn't end up taking the easy route of just making the ending "Anon tries to guess Fluttershy's addiction like she guesses his fetish everyday."
I enjoyed it, I think you can be happy with how this one turned out.
>>27191233
Drunk Fluttershy sounds like a super cutie.
Good story friend.
>>27191233
noice
The thread seems kinda slow. If you guys want I can write some green from fluttershy's perspective. You guys want that?
>>27195984
You can write whatever you want as long as it's got lewd things being directed towards Anon.
Flutterrape is pretty loose these days.Comes with years of anal masturbation.
>>27195380
sauce?
Ok, I'm going to do my best here. Let's hope my green isn't total shit
>day he'll be mine in equestria
>you are fluttershy and today, anon will be yours
>you have a foolproof plan
>no stallion can resist a free blowjob
>you check the time; midnight, you know he'll be asleep now
>you take some rope, just in case
>you quietly go through town, barely able to contain yourself
>it's on the other side of town, but that's not far
>you reach his front door, excited
"Ok fluttershy, this'll be easy..." You mumble to yourself "you watched hours of porn to know how to pleasure a stallion"
>his front door is locked, but there's another way in
>you walk around back to his root cellar, why he has one you have no idea
>you quietly enter and close the door behind you
>opening the door to inside his house, you silently step inside
>up the stairs is anon, asleep in his boxers
Part 1/?
>now for step 2
>he starts moving, but just roles onto his side
"Ok fluttershy, he's asleep... He'll love this, all stallions do..."
>taking out the rope you loop it around under the bed and tie his hands and feet down
"Better remember to thank applejack for the rope later... Now for the best part..."
>you slowly slide his boxers down
"Oh my... So big..."
>come on fluttershy, show him how much you love him
>climbing into the bed, you gently kiss the head of his cock and give his member a long lick from top to bottom and back
>smiling, you take the head into your mouth
>it feels so wonderful
"Mmhh..."
>"uhh... What..? Fl-fluttershy?! What are you doing!?"
>he's awake, perfect
>you take his cock from your mouth
"I'm just showing you how much I love you nonny"
>putting it back in your mouth, you bob your head slowly, enjoying the taste.
>"fluttershy..." He moans out
>perfect, he's starting to enjoy it
Part 2/?
>remember the porno fluttershy, remember what you learned
>as you bob your head faster and swirl your tongue around his big human cock
>"flutters... Oh yeah..." He moans loudly
>bobbing your head faster you moan out in pleasure
>pure heaven, that's what this is
>you force yourself to take his entire length
>"fluttershy... Don't stop..."
>Blushing deeply, you keep going, a feeling of pure ecstasy taking over
>"OOHHH GOD YES!!" He yells as he shoots his thick load inside your throat
>it's so much more than you expected, it tastes amazing
>you savor the taste for a moment before swallowing it all with a satisfying gulp
>taking his cock from your mouth, you look at him and smile
"Did you like that nonny? I know I did"
>"fluttershy..."
"Yes nonny?"
>"can we do this more often?"
"How does every morning and every night sound nonny?"
>"Yeah... That sounds great flutters"
>he's finally yours
How did I do? Constructive criticism is appreciated
>>27196382
Ah, I few things are as good as new writers.
Well, I suppose we should start with the grammar, punctuation, ettiequte, etc.
You could work on that, I reccomend simply lurking and reading to sharpen your writing skill, it'll also help you find your shtick while writing. For example; I noticed you added a sex scene in this, obviously. Personally, I never do these, tend to just stick to potential humor, but that's just preference. Check over at the writefag guild thread to get some nice pastebins for aid.
Moving foward with the critique, the story feels rushed, and there is a lack of substance because of that. I feel your pain on that one, ending stories is a pain for me. Another thing that is odd: Anon's consent. For a oneshot, that is unheard of. I'd reccomend purposefully making Anon a grumpy cynic when first starting out, so you can make a believable personality that reflects a man who is stuck in an alien world, with horses vying for his hot monkey dick.
Overall, 6/10 for a oneshot.
You should do requests for people just to bump the thread every once and awhile, just to sharpen your skills.
Practice makes perfect.
>>27191582
yeah, I'm writing other stories. I have a very unhealthy obsession with FR.
>>27192236
>>27194428
>>27194950
thanks
>>27192843
cool. I really liked the first two stories you wrote. Do you have a pastebin yet?
>>27194371
it was supposed to be a quick one shot. . . but I just kept writing it.
still, it was a quick effort. I didn't take the time to really edit it as well as I should have. But overall I do like this story, and I'm glad I'm not alone. I appreciate yours and everyone else's comments.
>>27189163
Oh god it happened again.
---
"The first meeting of the Equestrian Rejects is called into session!"
>A hoof shoots up in front of you.
"Yes?"
>"Why are we called the Equestrian Rejects?"
"Because we're Equestrian and have been rejected by society! The name is emblematic of our struggle against the establishment!"
>"But we all have jobs, and houses, and normal lives. Where's the struggle?"
>You put your hands on your hips and glare at Penumbra.
>The batpony, a white-coated mare with a grey mane and red-slitted eyes, gives you a neutral expression in return.
"Penny. You're missing the point. Ponies laugh at us!"
>"At you maybe, and probably Glitterwing, but I'm a batpony."
"So?"
>"So what? Batponies are the proud servants of the Lunar Guard!"
"Yeah but, everyone's scared of you!"
>"Good! Ponies need to fear us."
"What do you mean 'us'? You're not a guard, you work at a coffee shop!"
>"So? My people are proud and noble. We look out for each other. The other races fear that."
"Look out for each other. Is that why your mom kicked you outta the house?"
>"Over the line, Junior. Also, unrelated to the talk."
"It's totally related! You always dodge the iss--"
>"Could um, we please get to it?"
>Both you and Penny look at your other member.
>A quiet, brown and white speckled mothpony.
>She gives you both a smile, readjusting her huge jam-jar glasses.
>"Look girls, I think Equestrian Rejects is a nice name. It makes us sound... rebellious!"
>Penny thinks on this for a second.
>"I guess you're right, Glitz. But are we -really- going to go around shouting that we're rejects? I want out if we are."
"Alright, we'll compromise, we'll call ourselves the Equestrian Rejects, but only during these meetings, deal?"
>"Deal."
"Awesome. Okay, let's get to it. First order of business?"
>"Yeah, how are we gonna fuck your dad?"
1/?
>>27198265
"Penny!"
>"What? That's why we formed this group, isn't it?"
"Not exactly!"
>"Sure it is, you need to fuck your dad so you can become a real pony and not some weird mix of whatever he is and your mom, Glitterwing needs to... Glitz, why are you in on this again?"
>The moth gives a warm smile.
>"Oh, I'd like a sample of his sperm for my studies."
>She rubs something in her eye, gesturing dismissively with her other hoof.
>"Also I'm a raging nymphomaniac--"
>Penumbra nods hurriedly.
>"Yeah, that, and I'm in it because I think your dad's hot."
"Ugh, well could you please act with some more... tact?"
>"You're asking me to use tact when you're trying to fuck your own dad. I dunno, Junior, kinda seems like you have the most depraved reason here."
"I have a very legitimate reason! If I want to be like my mom I need to complete the ritual by sleeping with my biological father!"
>Penumbra scratches her head.
>"I... I just don't know how that branch of logic even gets off the ground, you're half--"
"Half human, half pony, yes."
>"Right, so like, wouldn't it make sense to fuck another pony...? Then you'll be one hundred percent pony? And why exactly would you even transform? Where does sex enter into this? I'm not a unicorn but I don't think magic is -this- off the chain--"
"I already told you, satyrs are magical creatures never seen in Equestria before! I'm the first and only one of my kind!"
>"So how do you know that anything you're saying to me isn't total bullshit?"
"Who are you going to trust, me, the only one of my kind, or someone else who isn't a mythical creature?"
>"Yeah, I grew up with that 'mythical creature' and I remember her eating her own snot in class--"
"PENNY!"
>"--real mysterious if I do say so myself, but it seems to me like you're just inventing some convoluted excuse to fuck your dad. You sure you've not just got an incest fetish?"
"No, that's disgusting!"
>Penumbra gives you a hopeless look.
2/?
>>27198269
>"Disgus... just... let's just establish a plan of attack before we get back to your weird fetishes, alright?"
>She nudges Glitterwing.
>"Any ideas, Glitz?"
>The mothpony, still wearing her serene smile, get to her hooves and clears her throat in her typically effeminate manner.
>"Well, I was thinking, rather than just creating some horribly overcomplicated strategy, we just drug him and rape him."
>...
>You and Penumbra look at each other.
>Then at Glitterwing.
"...Well sure, I guess that could work."
>Penny blinks.
>"I was kinda hoping for some cool secret agent stuff but this works too, I suppose."
>Glitterwing lets out a delicate little cheer.
>"Hooray! Well! I already have a wide variety of ways we could drug him, from mushrooms to pills to poison darts!"
>She whips out a roll of equipment from seemingly nowhere and lays it out of the table before you all.
"It's concerning how well prepared you are."
>Glitterwing frowns.
>"I thought we were serious about this?"
"Oh sure, sure, we are, it's just... I was gonna try and seduce him, and I think Penny was gonna...?"
>"Get him drunk and fuck him at the back of a cinema."
"Yeah, that."
>Glitterwing giggles.
>"Well you know what I'm like, I've always been rather meticulous."
"No kidding."
>You sniff and lean forward on your elbow, a palm nursing your cheek, and pluck a vicious looking dart from the selection with your fingers.
"So how do these things work?"
>"Well, um, you fill them with poison and shoot them at what you want to fall asleep. I'd imagine that was obvious...?"
"...I knew that."
>Penny whistles at the sight of a huge mushroom.
>"Where do you even get this stuff, Glitz?"
>"The mushrooms grow behind my house, but the other stuff I just sort of... uh, pick up?"
"Hell, works for me, as long as it's nothing illegal."
>The other two give you concerned looks.
"What?"
>Penny moves her mane out of her eyes.
>"You're aware that we're planning to rape someone, right?"
3/?
>>27198275
>You grumble in response and go back to scrutinising an instrument that looks like a trumpet, a needle, and a battleaxe.
"Glitz, what's this for?"
>"If I told you you'd never forgive me."
>You put it down carefully.
>"So um, times and places?"
"Uh, I was thinking tonight outside my dad's house? He usually sleeps early, so we might not even need to go for Penny's cinema plan. He doesn't like cinemas anyway."
>Penny snorts.
>"Well yeah, he's old."
"He's in his late thirties!"
>"And we're all twenty, he's old to us, Junior--"
"Lyra, -please-!"
>"You really wanna go by your mom's name?"
"You know I prefer it to 'Junior'. Junior sounds like a colt's name."
>"Your literal name is Lyra Junior though."
"I didn't name myself! I've told you this a hundred times!"
>"Whatever, Lyra, there's no getting over that this is gonna get weird. All I want to know is can we count on you not to go all psycho on us once this starts?"
"Why would I get psycho?"
>"We're about to rape your da--"
"I get it. I'll be fine."
>"You don't sound fine, are you sure?"
"So help me Celestia Penny, I'll use these hands."
>She shuts up.
>Glitterwing packs up her stuff.
>"So shall we say about ten?"
"Sounds good. Meet you girls there."
>And with that, you all leave the library, much to the relief of the poor elderly librarian who had to listen to all that.
>"So a Bat, a Moth, and a Satyr all walk into a bar..."
"Give it a rest, Penny."
>"Just trying to lighten the mood, Jun-- Lyra."
"Been telling you since we were kids..."
>"I used the name you like!"
"Good, now can you see Glitterwing?"
>"Why do I have to keep a lookout?"
"You can see in the dark?"
>She puffs her chest out with pride.
>"Daaamn straight I can."
>She pokes her head out of the bush like a periscope, looking around and making weird "eeee" noises.
"The noises don't make you better at seeing, Penny."
>"Shut up yes they do. I'm a bat, I know these things."
>...
>"eeeeeee..."
4/?
>>27198284
>You shiver from the night air and wrap your jacket around yourself.
>Penny lowers herself down and sits next to you.
>"Hey, I got us some coffee."
>She offers you a flask.
>"It's your favourite~"
>You accept it with gratitude.
"Thanks Pen."
>"I'm too good to you, Lyra."
>For a moment you both sip your coffee and listen to the night.
>"So have you ever thought about changing your name?"
"Yup. I was thinking Hope, does that sound good?"
>"I'll be honest, that sounds completely retarded."
>You blink.
"Well uh, thanks for being honest?"
>"I just figure, if you're gonna name yourself at least make it good. What about Celestia?"
"I'm not naming myself after the princess."
>"Why not? It's not illegal."
"Yeah but it -is- a taboo. One that I'm not about to break."
>"You're a mythical one-of-a-kind creature that picks her nose, I think you're entitled to a sweet name."
"Well when you think of one give me a shout."
>"Cele--"
"Other than Celestia."
>The bush rustles.
>You pause mid-sip.
>"Girls? Are you in there?"
>"Hiya Glitz, yeah come on in, we got coffee and brainstorms in here."
>Glitterwing shuffles in, being careful not to graze her wings.
>From what you know, mothponies have extremely sensitive wings.
>According to Glitz they're also a massive erogenous zone.
>Which would explain why she was biting her lip when she entered the bush.
>You shift uncomfortably at that thought.
>She sits herself down and sighs happily.
>"Finally! Got the right bush!"
>You and penny share a brief look.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>"Oh, we're not the only ones here."
"...Say again?"
>All three of you poke your heads out of the bush.
"What the fuck."
>A great number of shrubs of varying sizes have appeared around yours, all facing your father's house.
>Glitterwing points a hoof towards the closest one.
>"Fluttershy's in that one."
"Seriously?"
>Penumbra nods sagely.
5/?
>>27198291
>"Mm, always had a massive thing for your dad, that one."
>Glitterwing chirps in.
>"She's planning to break in tonight."
"How'd you find this out?"
>"She told me."
"Why'd she tell you?"
>"I told her about us and our plan."
>Stare at Glitterwing.
>She gives you a sheepish smile.
>Penny nudges you.
>"You know how I have really good hearing as well?"
"Yeah?"
>"Yeah. Like, everyone in these bushes is having planning some pretty freaky stuff."
"Why... would you tell me that?"
>"I thought you'd like to know."
"And hang on, how come you didn't mention all these new bushes? Did that not strike you as odd or shock you?"
>"Nope."
"...Well it should have done!"
>"Batponies don't feel shock, Lyra. We're cooler than cucumbers."
"Oh my god stop talking."
>"But the way I see it, all these other ponies are gonna get in the way."
>Glitterwing nods in understanding.
>"I agree. We should eradicate them."
"Yeah we-- what the fuh--"
>"I-I mean drug them. With the darts."
"...This is why we were your only friends in school, Glitz."
>She pouts.
"So have we got enough darts for this?"
>"I always have enough darts, Lyra."
>Glitterwing slips out of the bush and lunges into what was apparently Fluttershy's bush.
>There's a brief scuffle, before Glitterwing emerges and gives you both a little wave before leaping into the next bush.
>This goes on for a while, with the same shocked rustling followed by silence.
>Penny nudges you again.
>"Hey."
"Don't."
>"She's not just darting them you know."
"I'll dart -you- if you're not careful."
>"I'd like to see you try. Also drink your coffee before it gets cold."
>With a grunt, you begrudgingly gulp down your coffee.
>You hate how delicious she makes it.
>After a good while, Glitterwing returns to the bush, frazzled and sweaty.
>"H-hoo my, that was exhilarating!"
"So who exactly spends their evenings camping outside my dad's house?"
6/?
>>27198300
>You all vacate the bush and begin to weave your way around the others towards the unassuming looking cottage before you.
>"Oh you know, the usual suspects. Fluttershy. Cheerilee. Rarity."
"Wow, Rarity? Really?"
>"She and her sister, yes. They were sharing a d--"
"DETAILS!"
>"...Drink, Lyra."
"R-right."
>"I was thinking the same thing Lyra."
"Shut up Penny."
>Glitz gazes ahead thoughtfully.
>"I wonder what their stories were. What lead them to be here tonight. Do you think they all had personal reasons like we do? What could inspire such perversion?"
>Penny provides a thoughtful, wise answer.
>"Hot monkey dick."
"He's not a monkey."
>"Whatever he is, he's gonna be inside me by the end of tonight."
"Ugh, at least I have a good reason for being here!"
>"I still feel like you're lying to me."
>The two of you bicker right up until you're stood on your dad's doorstep.
"--so full of shit Penny-- alright, so here's the plan, I'll knock, Glitz, you stab him with a dart, Penny, you and I will drag him inside, got it?"
>The girls nod.
"Alright, game faces everyone."
>"Roger. Let's rape your dad."
"Rrright... Ready?"
>"Ready." they both say.
>You make a fist and knock on the door.
>...
>...
>Penny frowns.
>"Uh, knock again?"
>You knock harder.
>...
>A breeze blows past you all.
>Glitterwing checks her mane.
>Penny scratches her face.
>You knock as hard as you can.
>...
>Still nothing.
"Uhh."
>"Lyra..."
>You turn to Glitterwing.
>She gives you a measured expression.
>"Why don't we just sneak in through a window...?"
>You stare at her.
"Good thinking."
>"Oof!"
"Ah shit, my foot!"
>"You don't have feet!"
"Hooves! Whatever!"
>The three of you untangle yourselves and stand up, looking around the room.
7/?
>>27198307
>You look behind you at the open second story window you'd all just climbed through.
>"You're a hell of a lot heavier than you look, Lyra."
"I've never been good at climbing, it was the only way."
>"Why not just break a downstairs window? Not like anything will happen."
"I'm not breaking my dad's house! I grew up here..."
>You look around at the room.
>Your room.
>Old toys still lie scattered around, untouched.
>It was left exactly the same as it was the day you left.
>You feel tears welling in your eyes.
>A nudge in your ribs snaps you back to attention.
>"Hey, you'd better not be feeling an intense nostalgia that will eventually lead to you backing out of us at the last minute due to some sudden moral realisation that what we're doing is wrong and try to wreck the plan, are you?"
>You start sweating.
"N-no, why would I be doing that?"
>Penny huffs.
>"Well good. Because I skipped gym and drank a shitload of espresso, so there's no way I'm not getting laid tonight. What about you, Glitterwing, you still hyped?"
>Glitterwing smiles at her friend.
>"I'm going to fuck him until he dies."
>...
>"O-oh, well, good luck with that."
"Don't kill my dad, Glitz."
>She winks at you and trots out the room, her wings quivering with anticipation.
"...Glitz! Don't kill my dad!"
>You rush after her.
"Well girls. Here we are."
>You gulp and look down at your dad.
>He's sprawled in a chaotic fashion on his back, his pyjamas a mess and his tongue hanging out the side of his open mouth, drooling.
>Glitterwing sighs.
>"He's so handsome..."
>She blushes.
>"Um, what was his name again? We always just used to call him dad when we were younger.
"Anon."
>"Anon... I'm going to make you my bitch, Anon."
>Anon snorts in his sleep.
"So uh, how do we go about doing this? Do we just... start?"
>Penumbra nods.
>"Well typically, during a rape, the best option is to start it and see where it goes from there."
"Have you done this before?"
8/?
>>27198314
>"Hell no, but I've seen enough porn to know how this works."
>Glitterwing carefully slips a pill into your father's open mouth.
>"I've done it before..."
"Oh."
>"Several times, actually."
"Glitz is there something you're not telling us?"
>Before she can respond, your dad sits up.
>...
>The three of you act like deer caught in headlights.
>Anon regards the three of you with a completely deadpan expression.
>He sniffs.
>Scratches his stubble.
>And smacks his lips.
>"Did someone put sugar in my mouth?"
"Sugar?"
>Glitterwing laughs nervously.
>"S-sugar puts mothponies to sleep, so I thought that... um..."
"Glitz you-- ooooh shit."
>Your father raises a sleepy finger at you.
>"Language, young lady."
>With you silenced and Glitterwing feeling sorry for herself, Penny steps up to the challenge.
>"Hey! Stud!"
>Anon turns to look at her.
>Penny doesn't back down.
>"I want you to fuck me in the butt!"
>You sigh as you watch Penny get tossed out of the open window.
>Glitterwing soars after her shortly afterwards.
>Your dad slams the window shut behind them and turns to you.
"I--"
>"Save it. Mind telling me what this was about?"
>You look down at the floor.
>Perhaps... telling him the truth is the best option?
>Raising your head, you lock eyes with your father.
>The man that raised you, who taught you everything you know.
>Surely he'd understand, right?
>He might be able to give you what you want?
>You manage a small smile, and take a step forward.
"Dad..."
>He studies your face, a subtly worried expression dancing in his eyes.
>"Lyra, sweetie, you can tell me anything."
"I..."
>You take a deep breath.
"Could you please have sex with me so that I can turn into a pony?"
>Your father.
>The paternal figure who was there for all your life.
>He who comforted you when you were but a child, who would protect you from the monsters in your closet.
>Who would sing soft lullabies on stormy nights to help carry you off to sleep.
9/?
>>27198320
>A man who stood taller than all others, watching over you as a guardian, a teacher, and a friend.
>Looks you dead in the eye and says:
>"Lyra what the fucking fuck are you actually saying Jesus fucking Christ did you seriously break into my house and try to drug me to get me to fuck you what the shit is wrong with you holy mother of God did your mother drop you on your head or something bloody fucking hell kiddo what the dicklord macaroni and cheese fagballs is wrong with you?"
>...
"Is that a no?"
>"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT WAS A THING."
"M-mom told me when I was younger!"
>"WHAT."
"Sh-she said that if I wanted to be a pony I'd have to have sex with you!"
>"YOUR MOTHER WAS A LECHEROUS DRUNK WHO THOUGHT YOU WERE A MINOTAUR FOR THE FIRST SIX YEARS OF YOUR LIFE."
"But--"
>"SHE WAS THE ONE THAT NAMED YOU LYRA JUNIOR."
"I--"
>"WHY IN THE NAME OF WHITE HORSE SHE-JESUS WOULD YOU TAKE ANYTHING SHE SAYS SERIOUSLY."
"Because she's my mom!"
>"SHE FORGOT YOU WERE HER DAUGHTER ABOUT EIGHT TIMES DURING YOUR PRESCHOOL DAYS."
"Wh--"
>"SHE CAME HOME WITH THE WRONG KID EIGHT TIMES, LYRA."
>Your dad rages on for a bit longer.
>All you can do is stare.
>"I HAD TO FISH YOU OUT OF A RIVER BECAUSE SHE USED YOU AS FISH-BAIT."
>"YOU WERE ON THE END OF A FISHING ROD, LYRA."
>"SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU FOR MORE BEER. TWICE."
>"I FOUND YOU SLEEPING ON THE ROOF ON YOUR SECOND BIRTHDAY."
>"SHE ONCE GLUED AN ICECREAM CONE TO YOUR HEAD TO TRY AND GET YOU INTO CELESTIA'S SCHOOL OF GIFTED UNICORNS."
>"YOUR CRIB WAS REPURPOSED AS A COCK-FIGHTING RING FOR HER AND HER FRIENDS."
>"SHE FED YOU WASTE FROM THE CLOUDSDALE WEATHER FACTORY IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU SUPERPOWERS."
>>SHE FAKED HER OWN DEATH TO GET OUT OF PAYING HER GAMBLING DEBTS."
>"I DONATED MY KIDNEY TO HER."
>"SHE SOLD THAT KIDNEY FOR MORE ALCOHOL."
>This goes on for a bit.
>You're partly amazed he can keep going for this long.
10/?
>>27198326
>"AND YOU WERE ACTUALLY DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE WHAT SHE TOLD YOU AFTER ALL THAT?!"
"S-sorry daddy..."
>He sits down on your old bed, mad as hell.
>"I didn't raise a moron, Lyra. In fact, first things first, we need to rename you, I'm sick of calling you Lyra."
>You smile.
"Oh, how about Hope?"
>"That's completely retarded."
"O-okay..."
>He scratches his chin and squints at you.
>"You need something grandiose. Since you're so unique and all..."
>...
>"What about Celestia?"
11/11
The End.
That was very stream-of-consciousness and I wrote it in 3 hours.
Regardless, I hope you enjoyed it.
http://pastebin.com/pLEJqYJA
>>27198346
Good job kiddo.
>>27196382
comfy as fuck
>>27198346
most excellent
Page 10, not letting the thread die when we have content.
>>27198346
Man, for some reason I expected this to keep going, really didn't see the whole bad parent Lyra angle coming and it makes me crave more.
Good night bump.
So. With the episode synopsis of Fluttershy's brother out, what's anyones plan for him?
Incest Fetish or Team-up gangbang?
>>27200527
I was not aware of this and it makes me want to die inside.
Why does every character have to have a sibling, hell why does Fluttershy have to have a brother that she hasn't mentioned a single fucking time for 6 whole seasons? It's fucking Shining Armor all over again...
At least the synopsis mentions her parents, maybe we'll finally get some background story about them.Not fucking likely...
>>27200670
Im more amused by how it's essentially some sort of Anon episode.
If they poke fun at the brony community and make him some sort of fat fedora wearing neckbeared, I'll at least be entertained.
Still, Shining Armour and Maud didn't exactly turn out terrible, so whatever. Sounds like the sort of situation where it's that sort of sibling you'd be somewhat ashamed of and have no reason to ever mention.
>>27200715
This just reminds me Adventure Time did an episode with almost the exact same premise this season. Dumb neckbeard kid gets told by his mom to grow up. Writer's are probably copying each other's notes in class.
>>27198346
Nice
Xomp
xump
>>27196022
It's a really old porn flash by Tiarawhy.
Not sure if you're still around, but here's the sauce if anyone cares.
https://e621.net/post/show/408128/
Bedtime bump.
>>27201805
>>27201925
I like your style Anon, I would buy you a beer.
Damp
Hippophilia.
>>27204087
Weshouldhave the opposite of that.
Bumple bee
>>27198346
I love it!
This is easily the best Satyr story I've read in a long time. Keep up the great work Nebby!
Night bump.
>>27210026
>>27210026
Well, she's just humping his face like there's no tomorrow...
>>27198346
>"You need something grandiose. Since you're so unique and all..."
>...
>"What about Celestia?"
rabump
>>27152110
You're not horny, you're just fucking drunk
>>27213355
These dubs mean nothing to me! I know Fluttershy wants my hot monkey dick!
>>27210026
>>27211106
Uh oh.
---
>Beer and bad ideas always lead to situations like these.
>You stare at the object on the table.
>Your companion at the other side of it stares into the inky black abyss contained within.
>What secrets does it hold?
>Can you, a mere mortal, truly claim to be worthy of the knowledge contained within?
>Your mind screams at you to forget this business.
>To seal the object away and bury it deep.
>In a place where nary pony nor man may tread.
>But your curiosity pushes such feelings away.
>You have to know.
>...
>Shake the magic 8 ball as hard as you can.
"Issss the world gonna fuckin, like, end tomorrow or something?"
>...
>...
>' Maybe '
"SHIT."
>"Wh-what did it say?"
"It said maybe."
>"That's practically saying yes!"
"Trixie, Trixie I'm freaking the fuck out right now what do we do?"
>"T-T-Trixie doesn't know! SHE DOESN'T KNOW!"
"We only have a day left to live!"
>Trixie screams.
"I-I need to tell Pinkie Pie that I love her!"
>"TRIXIE NEEDS RELEASE!"
>Blue magic obliterates the table between you, the magic 8 ball bouncing harmlessly off the wall before coming to a rest on the floor.
>You both stare at it for a second.
>...
>' Yes '
>"THE BALL HAS SPOKEN!"
>You are thrown backwards by Trixie's volatile magics, your body powerless to move against such drunken arcane might.
>A blue furball quickly scrambles over your body and latches over your head.
>You only realise that something is wrong when a long, floppy, fleshy mass is lodged in your throat.
>"Huh" you think to yourself. "This is totally not where I want to be."
>Trixie, now apparently the proud owner of a sizable horse-dong, frantically humps your head.
>You just sort of sit there and let it happen, your booze-addled mind struggling to comprehend how just 30 seconds ago you were sat down and asking an 8 ball about if the world is going to end.
>Trixie, on the other hand, is having the time ove her life.
>>27214630
>"Y-your throat is so tight! Trixie needs more! MORE!"
>Her thrusting intensifies.
>You feel the developing flare dragging up and down your throat.
>Feels weird, man.
>Eventually, you feel the whole thing pulse once.
>Uh oh.
>Trixie gasps and squeezes your head as hard as she can.
>You can't really breath, but you decided a while ago that breathing was the very least of your concerns.
>And as a veritable hose of spunk surges down your gullet and into your stomach, you decide that between this and the world ending, the apocalypse can't hit Equestria fast enough.
>Trixie shudders, her fur riddled with sweat.
>The mare trembles for a moment, her vice-like grip around your head refusing to lessen.
>You however found out you can still breath through your nose, so that's a silver lining to this thick white cloud.
>Eventually, you feel the shaft in your throat slowly begin to retract.
>Trixie groans in content.
>"Trixie... Trixie needed that, yes, that's good, ooh..."
>Her flare is sat in your mouth, and she just kind of leaves it there.
>You'd spit it out, but then you'd have to let a spunk covered horse shlong slap you in the chin, and you just don't have the self-esteem to deal with that right now.
>Instead you let it sit there, slowly oozing cum onto your tongue.
>Tastes like honey.
>Interesting.
>The mare pulls the last bit out of your mouth, and alas, it still hits you in the chin.
>You stare at Trixie's crotch with a thousand-yard stare.
>How long you stare for, you're not sure.
>But eventually, something prods your lips.
>"Trixie is ready to go again. The end of the world is coming, and so is Trixie."
>Your mind effectively gone from shock and shame, you wordlessly open your mouth and let the horse ramp her length back inside.
>In your mind, you think but a single thought.
' Have I lived a life of sin? Do I deserve this? '
>Your eyes wander to the 8-ball in the corner.
>' Yes '
I go now to look at futa-Trixie porn.
As you were, Flutterrape.
>>27214637
>Futa Trixie porn
A man of such refined taste.
>>27198346
>"What about Celestia?"
You glorous son of a bitch.
>>27214637
This should not expand dong
but it does
>Bump
PMUB
>>27152110
>add on skype
>See dick
gg
>>27219185
I dont need a hose to make Fluttershy wet.
>Rape
>>27222662
>>27223545
>>27224027
>>27219185
>Spray water at Fluttershy.
>She stares blissfully at you, her blanket utterly drenched.
>"It's too late, Anon, I'm already wet."
>>27224662
Bump and bed.
>>27224662
God damn that pic depresses me.
>>27228496
Turn your feelings into art and express yourself through the wonder of
>greentext
>>27228963
>You are Anon.
>You are sad.
The end.
>>27229063
>>27229063
Literal Art
LOUD BUMP
>>27231394
SHUT IT NIGGER
Woof
>>27232832
quiet you hooting mandrillfuck dogs
>>27152110
"Fluttershy, you're weren't cuntchugging were you?"
>"I don't know. Is that your fetish, Anon?"
"We need to get you to a hospital. Now."
>>27232881Woof.
>>27232881
>>27234401
You're barking up the wrong tree dude.
one free save for nostalgia's sake
>You are Anon.
>Currently receiving the only ounce of peace you're afforded in this horse world.
>Sleep.
>Beautiful, wonderful, sleep.
>It's the only time you have where you can relax and forget about your worries.
>More than anything, you cherish any precious amount of time you can spend away from those blasted pastel horses.
>The Egyptian slave orgies also help.
>Currently, you were resting sideways on a lavish throne in the middle of a royal banquet as female attendees fawn over you.
>Right as you're about to partake in the grapes one is offering you, you hear and abrupt knocking on your chamber doors.
>The sudden sound startles you and breaks your concentration, your luxurious surroundings fading from existence.
>Instead they are replaced with the cold stone walls of a palace dungeon.
Son of a... what the hell is this?
>With a quick glance you can see you're locked in one of the prison cages.
>You look around aimlessly, meagerly trying to find means of escape.
>It didn't make sense, this is -your- dream, nothing should be able to interrupt your alone time.
>Not unless--
>Suddenly, the sound of hooves clopping on stone floors echos in the distance.
>You turn to the direction it came from, a shadow slowly creeping over the poorly lit wall leading up to the staircase.
>Even in the darkness, you could tell what it was.
>The sight causes you to start mumbling in a panic.
No, it's not possible, how could they get in here as well!?
>Dread fills you as it becomes terrifyingly clear that this is no longer your welcoming safe space.
>Before the being becomes aware of your position, you rush to the corner of the room.
>Reaching around the wall from between the bars, you pry the keys out of a guard's cold dead hand and fumble with the lock on your door.
>Despite how flustered you are, you manage to open it.
>Unfortunately, your sudden actions alert the intruder as well.
1/35
>>27236632
>For a brief moment you spot the wall shadow's face turning toward you, looking in your direction as if its hollow eyes could see you clearly.
>Not wanting to linger any longer, you turn around and run down the seemingly endless hallway.
>At the same time, you hear the nameless creature behind you kick off and take chase.
>Holy shit, how is it so fast?
>Realizing outrunning it would only delay the inevitable, you do an instant turn and hide in a different seemingly inconspicuous open cell.
>Tumbling to a halt, you hide beneath the bed and carefully listen for the sound of hoofsteps coming towards you.
>It takes a few moments, but you finally manage to catch a glimpse of four legs as they run past and disappear.
>Finally able to relax, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in.
>Crawling out from underneath the bed, you stealthily sneak out and turn around, heading back towards the staircase.
>But the instant you let your guard down, you suddenly feel yourself pinned face first to the floor.
>"ANONYMOUS, DO NOT BE ALARMED, WE HAVE COME TO SHARE WORDS WITH THEE."
>You knew it, it was that fucking moon horse!
No god damn it! This is my special time, you can't take that away from me!
>Struggling under her immense pressure, you manage to wiggle your arms out from underneath you.
>"PLEASE ANONYMOUS, WE WOULD JUST LIKE TO SPEAK WITH THOU AND THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE AN AMPLE OPPORTUNITY!"
Ample my ass! Being asleep is the only time I don't have to deal with you chuckle fucks!
>You realize now the reason your subconscious led you to a prison must have been because that's how it feels whenever you're near these blasted ponies.
>Using your free upper body, your strain and try to pull yourself out from underneath her.
>Seeing your clear frustration as you struggle, the blue princess takes a deep breath and tries to be more amiable.
2/35
>>27236645
>"Anonymous, our business is of a serious matter and we would wish for you to spare us your attention for this evening."
>Your reply is immediate.
No.
>Though you can't see her expression as she's currently standing on your spine, you can feel her lean back slightly in surprise from your blunt answer.
>You don't know what she wants, but it is most certainly some contrived horse problem you don't need to deal with.
>With a great deal of effort, you roll yourself over so you can look her in the face.
Luna, I put up with a lot of shit during the day, I refuse to let you take my night as well.
>Gripping one of your thumbs firmly with your free hand, you ball that hand into a fist and chuckle menacingly.
You know, I knew this day would come, and to think they thought I was crazy.
>Confused by your actions, Luna questions you.
>"Anonymous... what is thou doing?"
>You throw back a smug grin in her face.
A "get out of jail free" card if you will. A little trick I taught myself back in 'Nam.
>You were never in 'Nam, hell she probably didn't even know what "'Nam" meant, but it felt cooler than saying you learned it from watching The Magic School Bus when you were five.
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows you know, sometimes there's emergencies, life throws you a curve ball and the last thing you want is to be caught sleeping on the job.
>Clearly not understanding where you're going with this, the blue alicorn simply tilts her head as she looks down on you with puzzlement.
>Letting out a cheeky sigh, you shake your head and shrug at her mockingly.
Tell me Luna, did you know one can condition themselves to wake up from sleep whenever the need arises?
>Finally understanding what your plan entails, Luna panics.
>"ANONYMOUS WAIT! IF THOU FORCETH THINE SELF OUT OF THE DREAMSCAP--"
Later 'bater.
3/35
>>27236656
>Having decided you've already had more than your fill of her shenanigans, you snap your metaphorical thumb in half.
>The sense of realization that you felt no pain from this action confirms that this is in fact a dream, cuing your body to do its thing.
>In an instant you feel your dream-self fade from existence, forcing the world around you to collapse.
>You open your eyes and blink for a moment.
>You're back in the real world... well the "Equestrian" world anyway.
>Looking out the window, it seems to still be slightly dark out, probably close to morning.
>Going back to sleep was probably a bad idea, but you definitely did not want to get up yet.
'Meh... five more minutes.'
>Groaning to no one in particular, you try to roll over and get a few more minutes of shut eye.
>Only then do you notice a problem.
>As you turn over, your arm grabs hold of nothing as you do a full 180 spin, coming face to face... with Luna.
>'We hope thou art proud of thine actions.'
'JESUS!'
>Flailing in a panic, you feel yourself float a few inches away from... yourself?
>Looking down, you see both your own body resting in bed, along with a ghostly looking Luna who is currently staring daggers through you.
>If looks could kill...
'Wait a minute.'
>You bring your hand up to your face and find it's completely see-through.
>Waving it back and forth, all you see is a ghostly trail left behind, reminiscent of shaking a glowstick.
'Ohhhhh no, no-no-no this is not cool at all.'
>Are you dead? You can't be dead, your body is right there, it's even snoring!
>Your mouth is in fact hanging wide open as drool leaks from your face.
>God, do you always look that gross when you nap?
>Shaking that thought from your head, you ignore Luna and float back down to try and force yourself back into your body, but all you manage to do is phase right through it.
4/35
>>27236666check 'em
>The ghostly princess beside you rolls her eyes.
>'That will do thou no good Anonymous, we are stuck like this for the time being.'
>You wince at her words and the other worldly feel they have laced on them.
>Dear god, it feels like her voice is echoing in your head.
>Floating back up to eye level with her, it's your turn to glare at her.
'Explain right fucking now.'
>As she sits up, she allows herself to drift up above your bed as you reluctantly join her.
>'We tried to warn thou, but thine actions speak for thine selves. Simply put, we are now umbral projecting.'
>All you can do is give a look of complete and utter loss.
'Simple? What the hell does that even mean!?'
>'It means that our sleeping thoughts are being magically forced into the waking world.'
'Well then fix it!'
>'We cannot.'
>You're taken aback by her immediate refusal.
'Buh- What do you mean you "cannot"? Just use some of your damn alicorn magic!'
>Looking at you, she lets out a mild huff of distaste.
>'We would love nothing more than do so, but we have no power in this current form.'
>You close your eyes and pinch the bridge between your nose in frustration.
'I... I can't even deal with you right now; why not?'
>Seeing she's getting no where, she lets out a deep sigh.
>'Then allow me to explain in greater detail. When one sleeps, they allow their subconscious to take precedence over themselves. We on the other hoof, use our full consciousness to enter subjects dreams via magic. When we are done, we cast our spell once more and simply leave.'
>She points a ghostly hoof at you.
>'However, thou's actions have disrupted this chain of events.'
'Meaning?'
>You just barely catch her furrowing her brow in annoyance as she takes slightly longer with her words, making a show of speaking to you like you were a child.
5/35
