How would you even impress a pony?
>>27151013
Muh dick.
>>27151033
It's not even prehensile.
>>27151013
i think the answer is obvious.
>>27151013
Juggling
>>27151013
Swallow a depleted uranium bullet in front of her while yelling "I am the strielok!"
>>27151013
Take her bare back riding
>>27151068
/k/, pls.
Like this.
>>27151082
/k/ pls
>>27151013
>How would you even impress a pony?
With a printing press.
>>27151104
>That story.
I was frightened but aroused.
I'd do a flip.
>>27151115
/k/ is out deerfucking cousin.
>>27151115
What story was it?
>>27151013
Putting roofie in her drink and impress her when she wakes up tied up in my basement
>>27151033
Horse cocks are huge so GL with that.
>>27151013
By giving her injection needles illegally so she can be happy and die of STDS
>>27151130
We don't speak about it here.
>>27151130
>And they call us horsefuckers.
>>27151104
Is there an uncencored version of this
>>27151013
Tell them I can use my fingers to fish out any poop scraps left near the inside of my anus when I wash my ass, so my anal area is super clean on the inside and the outside of the gate!
>>27151155
Mother of God...
>>27151155
So that's how you hunt deer...I've been doing it all wrong.
Would I get more potent lure juices if I used a bad dragon dildo on the doe? How about stimulating both holes?
>>27151155
Deer have terrible vaginas
>>27151013
>>27151155
Jesus, I might have to start taking up hunting now.
>>27151270
They have dragon and bird vaginas.
>>27151277
Both of those things don't have a vagina.
>>27151155
Doesn't a good portion of /k/ come here?
>>27151292
Shh, they don't like knowing that, it makes them feel feelings.
>>27151292
Only the ones that enjoy ponies.
>>27151286
>>27151292
Probably a good half...I might be included.
>>27151321
>>27151321
HOW DO YOU DO THAT WITH YOUR APPENDAGES
>>27151292
this board is literally a melting pot for many other boards.
>>27151339
>>27151354
I wonder if there is a correlation between crossposters and their favorite pony.
>>27151013
Control her feet.
push her and only release pressure when she submits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gug5HX4M9UQ
>>27151372
thats an interesting question. you should make a census thread asking for "home" board and waifu/favorite pone
>>27151372
I wonder if there's a correlation between crossposters and how much they shitpost.
>>27151367
>>27151367
>>27151013
>be anon
>go to equestria
>they told you ponys where hard to impress
>but you have a trick up your seeve
>or rather 40
>this will be easy as pie
>>27151292
/k/ is truly our greatest ally. It's very common for anons to be showing each other guns with ponies in the background.
>>27151383
Definitely. /int/ comes here to shitpost.
>>27151411
I had that kit as a lad.
>>27151411
>this will be easy as pie
>>27151431
Something that easy is a real Rarity.
>>27151383
I can't get strawpoll to work. I don't have any skin on my hands. Please make one sometime.
>>27151419
Guilty.
>Every fucking time someone makes a Fallout reference.
>>27151292
Someone from /k/ bit me right on the tip of my boner
>>27151096
platinum mad
>>27151441
>I don't have any skin on my handsDid you have your nervous system removed or something?
>>27151461
Why?
>>27151013
Reaching shit on the top shelf. Climbing trees and shit. Ear scratches and head pats.
>>27151292
Pretty much the entirety of the plane pony thread.
And every AiE where Anon has a gun and knows very intimate detail of maintenance, function, and repair of every part of it.
>>27151474
Curse these metal hands
>>27151436
kek
>>27151441
Peter pettigrew?
>>27151461
This is called twitching and is necessary sometimes to prevent horses from harming themselves or someone else during veterinary procedures or farrier work.
>>27151556
>>sometimes necissary
so in laymans terms almost never necissary
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-horse-twitch.htm
>>27151474
you MEMESPEWING SHITLORD
>>27151570
Next you'll be telling us there's no reason to ginger a mare.
>>27151570
>almost never necessary
No.
It really depends on the horse's temperament. However there are circumstances where it's unavoidable or preferable to pharmaceutical sedation.
>>27151013
Reach things on the top shelf? Seems to work with human girls.
Oh fuck it who am I kidding? I couldn't impress a passport with a stamp.
>>27151579
As a ginger this intrigues me
>>27151605
Don't a mare
>>27151696
fuck you i do what I want
>>27151708
My ears are not a toilet. Try and be more civil.
>>27151717
Your face says otherwise
>>27151592
which in english terms is "whenever I'm too lazy to do it right" Ie spend the fucking time decensitizing the horse. Oh no its an emergency and the horse is spooking. maybe if you sacked out your horse and gave it the attention it needs, you wouldn't be in this fucking mess and need to do something that hurts your animal.
>>27151605
Gingering a mare is where they tie ginger to a horse's tail in order for it to burn the animal whenever the ginger touches their rectum or genitals, this ensures tail movement when the horse ordinarily might prefer to not move it's tail, which is something superficial assholes do to make their horse appear more elegant. in order to avoid the pain the animal will be forced to put effort into moving it's tail.
>>27151749
Oh.
Well
That's fucking retarded.
>>27151117
>>27151749
... gingering is when they insert a piece of ginger up a horse's anus/genitals to make it more frisky and carry it's tail better.
>>27151013
Jamming one of my opposable thumbs up her bum.
>>27151749
Are you fucking retarded? Legitimately asking.
>>27151749
I bet you think the use of whips and spurs is cruelty 100% of the time too, eh?
Also
>le
>>>fuckingreddit
>>27151770
>putting ginger up Rarity's asshole to make her more frisky
>>27151749
Please don't google something then act like an expert. It leads to bad things.
>>27151749
I've had to use a twitch on horses before. It doesn't harm them, it causes temporary discomfort is all. Quit being a retarded know-nothing pussy. I bet you've never even touched a horse.
Also fucking this. >>27151820
>>27151200
>8 or 9 inches
I'm glad my aspergers gave me the retard junk, Im gonna be just fine.
>>27151820
yes, instead lets consult the guys who use bits, stall their horses, hell, most people who own horses actually believe that they understand when you talk to them with words.
>>27151807
it's not only cruel, it's the shelter of fucking casuals and bullies who can't and wont take the time to train a horse right. only cucks need spurs and to whip their horse. A stiff aid is better than a whip anyway.
>>27151801
you are the retard here.
>>27151827
>>it doesn't harm them, it just causes them a ton of pain and stuns them so that I don't have to go through the effort of teaching it to be calm and listen to me when shit hits the fan.
>>27151907
Yeah, you try your pussy "it's okay baby" bullshit when you have a horse run through a barbwire fence or sustain some other life-threatening injury and see how well a horse that's actually IN pain stands still for application of first aid treatment. I'll be over here twitching my horse and applying first aid while yours thrashes and bleeds out because you're too retarded to do what needs to be done in an emergency.
>>27151930
I don't think he horses.
>>27151907
Whips and spurs can both be used without inflicting pain as natural extensions of your seat/leg/voice aides. I can touch my horse with a spur in two places on his side an inch apart and they can both mean something totally different. It's away of giving your horse more buttons and refining your control over their movement and position, but you're probably some 14-year-old Parelli worshiping faggot that doesn't know the first thing about horsemanship anyway.
>>27151930
>>durr i'll just throw out some contrived backpeddled situation
Let me follow this train of logic for your retarded ass
>>27151592
>>almost never necessary
>No.
You are disagreeing that a twich is almost never necissary.
And the example you gave was one where your horses run head long into barbed wired fences and get fucked up beyond belief and their life is in danger
The only way you even have an arguement here is if you are asserting that this happens more than almost never. Unfortunately for your dumbass the only outcome here thats good for you is that you're lying and argueing out of your dumbass to prove a non existant point on the internet, because the alternative is your a hackjob who is doing something that causes your animals to consistently injure themselves on barbed wire to the point that they are trapped and or dying. what do you leave the halters on unattended?
>>27151975
>lying
What exactly have I lied about? I've worked as an assistant to an equine vet before, so I've run across these situations significantly more often than the average horse owner and perhaps as such my perception of how often a twitch is necessitated is a bit skewed, but to say it's "almost never" necessary is asinine.
>>27151962
>>Whips and spurs can both be used without inflicting pain as natural extensions of your seat/leg/voice aides
spurs cannot be used without inflicting pain you retard
whips are basically worthless as aids if they aren't being used to cause pain, the only reason to ever have on is to sack a horse out to them so they don't freak out whenever someone else breaks one out.
Your horse doesn't need a fucking metal spike in its sides to pick up on your aids, theyre training wheels. take them off and train your god damn animal with some dignity for it instead of laziness for you.
>>your probably some scam artist no one ever heard about
another fucking autistic demonstration of some retard trying to distance themselves because someone knows more shit than them that they can't deal with.
Use a straight aid you fucking tool. Theres no reason to swing anything when a gentle tap will do, so stop using excessive force. gentle hands make gentle horses.
>>27151940
you obviously don't brain.
>>27152000
no, its not assinine to expect a single horse owner to not have a small grocery list of times their actions and inaction have required a horse to be twiched because their lives are immediately in danger due to severe injury, though it doesn't surprise me at all that you get so much business with the state of abuse and neglect most horses go through.
>>27152003
>spurs cannot be used without inflicting pain you retard
That's incorrect. Barely touching a horse's side with a spur is no different than your heel touching their side, and even lets you get away with using LESS force than you might have to otherwise. You should never KICK a horse with spurs, obviously, but to say spurs cause pain 100% of the time demonstrates you're fucking retarded when it comes to horsemanship.
And yes, Parelli is a fucking hack that uses gimmicks and bullshit instead of common sense and real horsemanship.
Please stop fighting. You're tearing this family apart. Say one thing you both like and see if you have anything in common.
>>27152058
>>Barely touching a horse's side with a spur is no different than your heel touching their side,
If this where true, you'd use heels.
>>and even lets you get away with using LESS force than you might have to otherwise
if by less force you mean, you have to exert less pressure on your muscles because theres a sharp and pointy object pressing into the flank or barrel of your animal, then yes. otherwise no, you don't get away with using less pressure and force on the animal.
>you should never kick a horse with spurs obviously
sometimes a horse can spook, not only is the use of spurs always painful, and always unneeded, its extra damaging when you need to hold onto a horse for IT's safety, but no, you're the fucking retard here. the entire horse world is brain dead, still using bits and spurs and whips and going "lol the horse loves being ridden by me, he loves his stall, my foal loves me when I pull it away from i'ts mom and lock it in a stall untill I'm the only being in it's world!." you are the idiot, giving excuse after excuse for why you use a sharp implament that has no buisness being on your feet when you ride your horse, when you could factually do better without it.
>>27152107
Let me ask you something. How many horses have you trained? How many do you own? How long have you been riding? Because I can almost guarantee you I've done and seen significantly more shit than you have.
>sharp implement
I use spurs with blunted rowels you fucking idiot, almost nobody except fucking stupid Mexicans (which don't give two shits about animals to begin with) uses sharp rowels, and anybody that needs to squeeze with their legs to stay on a spooked/bolting horse shouldn't be using spurs to begin with.
And by less pressure, let me put it this way. Would you rather I poke you in the cheek with a pencil eraser once or punch you with my fist five or six times to get your attention? Same principle. I'd rather touch his side ONCE with a spur than kick his side forcefully five or six times to get him to yield his shoulder or hip to me.
>>27152170
I've trained more horses than you've had hot meals. I've kept and broken hoses on 5 continents. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears...in...rain.
Time to die.
>>27152233
kek
>>27151013
>Rarislut
I'd just tell her I have lots of money and she'll instantly lift her tail, squat and spray and start winking.
>>27152170
>Let me ask you something. How many horses have you trained? How many do you own? How long have you been riding? Because I can almost guarantee you I've done and seen significantly more shit than you have.
so much internet tough guy.
that reminds me
>>27152086
I like salt licks, theyre delicious, and this faggot could make a killing selling the stuff he produces over being so wrong all the time he has to grasp at straws to seem tough and horse smart
>>blunt
a heel is blunt, and it's all you need, a spur is sharp, you fucking retard.
>anybody shouldn't be using spurs in the first place
fixed that for you you fuck.
>>would you rather I poke you in the cheek with an eraser
which is in no way fucking comparable to a spur? How about I put a metal bit in your mouth and steer with the pain receptors in your cheeks? how about I sit on you and squeeze spurs against the soft part of your sides?
>>five or six times to get him to yeild
if you trained your fucking horse to respond to your direction instead of fucking pain you wouldn't have this problem, its hilarious that you would openly admit you can't heel a horse without spurs unless you do it 5 or 6 times in a row. the problem isn't the horse, the problem is you and your use of spurs. Take the training wheels off. learn to teach your horse with light hands and direction and it will respond in kind. Make sure you fucking give your horse clear direction too, and be patient with it while it is learning. Horses are smart animals. they aren't stupid just becuase we're nominally more sapient. They like to relax and they learn far better when clear direction towards obedient behavior facilitates that outcome.
>>27152319
>I like salt licks, theyre delicious, and this faggot could make a killing selling the stuff he produces over being so wrong all the time he has to grasp at straws to seem tough and horse smart
Projecting much?
>>27152319
I could also make the argument that riding a horse, PERIOD, inflicts pain and nobody should do it. What say you to that?
>>27152362
>>projecting much
you are trying to have a dick measuring contest about how much you live and breath horses instead of actual fucking facts and logic to back up the bullshit you are spewing. it's not projecting when you are openly masturbating.
I can gaurentee the people involved in derbies and horse racing in general have trained more horses than I have, own more horses than I have, and have ridden, more horses than I have. and yet there is factual fucking evidence in land slide quantities that what they do to horses is one of the worst abuses of animals that goes unremarked. Only the person with the behavior of an infant would consider this kind of metric valuable to the discussion at hand, it's only show boating and irrelevant to treating horses well and training them well.
>>27152393
I'd agree with you.
>>27152405
I'm not even that anon, dipshit, but anyone with eyes can see you're a fucking moron that draws false dichotomies and thinks your way is the only "right" way.
>>27152393
yes, it does inflict a ton of pain when you ride a horse under 5-6 years old and can permanently damage their development. Here's an idea for if you want to do that; don't.
>>27152319
>uses the term "salt" unironically
Underage b& confirmed.
>>27152405
I also despise horse racing, and the horse industry in general, but you're incredibly ignorant to think everyone who uses a tool you happen to not like does so in an abusive manner.
>>27152405
>>27152452
See? Yous have something in common.
>>27152424
Riding a horse any age causes pain and discomfort. There have been studies done proving that asking a horse to carry more than 10% of its body weight causes lasting damage, and most people who ride exceed 10% of their mount's weight by a significant margin.
>>27152422
>>middle ground fallacy
dumbass, I didn't say my way was the only way you could get a horse to obey you, I said my way is superior, because its just as if not more effective, and the horse obeys because it understands, using its mammal portion of the brain instead of the reptilian one that panics and demands for the pain to stop. you are entirely welcome to abuse the shit out of a horse for your own benefit, the police, the derby, city carriage riders, pretty much everyone does it.
The path these scum are walking is the path of the lazy. the path that makes the horse bare the burden of their sloth instead of demands respect and understanding from both sides.
>>27152452
Rape and pick pocketing are both crimes of different severity.
still crimes, same as abuse. you are using excessive means to get a horse to do what you want it to do, when gentler means would suffice.
>>27152436
The term is literally older than 2000 you cuck.
>>27152485
And who, exactly, made you the end-all be-all authority on what is and is not excessive? Horses are not puppies or kittens. What works for you on your horse won't necessarily work with every horse. And saying your way is superior exposes you as an ignorant child. You might as well be throwing a tantrum and stamping your foot screaming everyone else is wrong, like a toddler, because you're doing the internet equivalent.
>>27152485
You're making an awful lot of assumptions without knowing jack shit about me, Anon.
>>27152473
I'd refuse to believe that the lasting portion is true until I see the age of the horses studied. Horse bones can take many years to fully set in and become strong, and the lasting pain seems directly related to the back bone. I've heard of this study but until I see the age range I won't make the assumption, becuase people riding horses far younger than should be done is really really fucking common. Usually newbies with money, buying a filly to imprint and ruin, and start breaking it in far before it's ready for riding.
Infact, while I might be misremembering, wasn't this study done on race horses? that may be where this red flag is popping up in my mind for me. Race horses are almost always too young to be riding.
>>27152566
No. Literally anyone who rides any horse of any age at any health under any circumstnaces is hurting them and inflicting pain. It's completely black and white, there's no gray areas or circumstances in which you're not causing harm. You can't ride a horse without it being abuse, period. People who ride horses are selfish and too lazy to walk or go ride a bike.This is exactly what you look like to the rest of us.
>>27152527
>>hurr who put you in charge
>>ur not the boss of me.
yes, I am not
>>what works for your horse doesn't necissarily work for mine
special plea. Horses are all horses and react to training identically, take your training wheels off, and stop being a fucking abusing little shit.
>>exposes me as an ignorant child
no, it exposes me as an empathetic adult, because I don't put the suffering of others ahead of my own personal convinience, which so many horse owners like you do, who invent excuses like the worst rape apologists, drumming up dumbass reasons for why their horse needs bits and spurs and to be locked up in a fucking 10 foot box room till it's so bored it chews everything to shit and turns aggressive. All because they can't be wrong, no, that would require you to actually do some more work, and put more effort into your horse and the way your horse thinks. Instead you dismiss these concerns and anthropomorphism the animal.
>>you're acting like a toddler
for providing factual arguements against your dick measuring contest about how many horses you slept with/rode ontop of? go jump off a bridge. Nothing about my way being superior reflects on me in any way as arrogance or specialness. literally anyone can do this if they take their dick out of their ass for one second and think about whats best for the animal.
>>27152630
yeah, see, you mentioned a study, I asked for clarification, and instead of providing it, you're mocking me. Where as I told you a fact, that horse training without spurs is superior as it produces the same results with less pain and discomfort on the part of the horse, and you assholes never asked anything, started screaming about how autisticn and wrong I was, and how many more horses you rode and touched than me.
>>27152683
Not that anon but I've yet to see you provide a single fact or evidence, all I've seen you do is scream abuse at someone who doesn't do things exactly the way you do.
>>27152699
I don't need to provide facts and evidence to retards who don't ask for any. If this was your dick too high up your own rectum for a question mark implication of one, I'll be waiting till you can take yourself down a peg.
>>27152683
>Horses are all horses and react to training identically
Okay, now I KNOW you don't have a clue what you're talking about. There's no cookie-cutter training technique that works for every horse. You have to adapt to the individual animal's personality/intelligence/education/needs/etc. I think we're done here, good day.
>>27151155
Now that the autism is presumably over I'd like to see some green involving >>27152277
>>27152711
>>durr your wrong because I say so
this is bullshit from faggots who are too lazy to accept that they may be wrong. they see personality and other bullshit anthropomorphism in their horses and make up excuses for why their horse is special, that it just doesn't read body language as well and they need the spurs and they need it because because okay?
no retard, they don't this is the equivelent of training humans to speak and understand speech. it doesn't fucking matter what your horses disposition is. you fucking teach it how to read your intent and you dominate the horse like a horse would (by controlling it's feet) and it will listen to you because not listening to you has for evolutionary eons meant starvation or the lack of a chance to breed.
>>27152759
>this is bullshit from faggots who are too lazy to accept that they may be wrong
Oh the irony...
>>27152759
I said I was done. If you continue to feel the need to flap your dick around about how superior you are, there's a more suitable thread here: >>>/an/2093742
They're even discussing this very topic. Have fun.
>>27152797
>>durrr yur the one flapping your dick about, not like I brag incancessantly about how many horses i ride like a stuck up derby manager.
>>27152773
>>durrr
where I wrong it would save me work you fucking dipshit. apparently basic math is too hard for you, nor do you have even an iota of memory and information retention.
>>27152814
>constant use of hurr/durr
You're not doing yourself any favors, Anon. Shoo off to somewhere where they actually care and get back to talking about pony pussy here.
>>27152829
This.
>>27152829
>>durr hurr your insulting us, you can't do that back only we are allowed to call you a faggot
ho wow. why don't you crawl back to your waifu hug box thread then if you want some horse pussy green.
Those fools are actually fighting.
>>27152873
>durr hurr
>>>/b/
>>27151033
Dubs say so
>>27152877
I don't see any fighting, I see a single /b/-tier underage autist shitposting and rolling around in his own feces. It'd be sad if it weren't so funny, but it's getting kind of annoying.
This is totally what I wanted when I made this thread.
>>27152919
Thats funny, I see two. and as much as they're insistent that they're NOT ARGUING WITH ME CAUSE WE"RE BETTER! they can't seem to stop talking about this nor shift topics to the pone pussy they claim to care so much about. You can't substantiate any of your arguements on horses before, I don't know why I might have expected you'd be able to hold to your word and stop throwing shit at me. It's not like I even requested it, you cucks decided "you aren't worth itits not like we're replying because we want to, you're just a faggot, thats all!"
>>27152920
Not my fault a bunch of retarded cucks got triggered over how wrong they where at horses, all I was doing was providing facts for how to dom and impress your horsefu.
>>27152920
Reminds me of the guy who started a thread about crossdressing shiny that turned into a literal horsefucker anon telling his story and a shit-flinging debate about bestiality. Good times.
>>27152940
>>27152945
>he's still going
>>27152946
Now I'm curious. Got a link?
>>27152954
>>he
when theres two people involved you use plurals dipshit.
>>27152987
Pretty sure >>27152940 and >>27152945 are the same person.
>>27153026
Wow, you are rather self efacing or extremely arrogant. I wonder which one between you and me you don't consider a person.
>>27153058
Pointing out samefaggotry is arrogant?
K.
>>27153068
>>taking statement out of context blatantly on purpose
ironic shit posting is just shit posting anon.
>>27152965
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18806486/
Enjoy.
>>27153076
What the fuck are you on about?
