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>>26936529
>mfw it's not dong ring
>>26936529
>pony rape pills are too weak for anon
>he thinks that it's a little seltzer tablet in them and thanks the pony for looking after his well being
Or you can make it super strong because horse pillsbut the mare got the pill mixed up and it literally is pony alka-seltzer
mare thinks you look great between her legs
>>26936896
Unfilingus.
>>26936896
How did I suddenly turned into her penis?
>>26936861
https://youtu.be/qqXi8WmQ_WM
molestia PMV when?
"There... we... go... ahhhhh~"
>You, along with the rest of the boys, sigh as you lean back into your stools and take that first sip of your peppermint schnapps with a bit of whipped cream thrown on top
>It had been a hard week
>Working, looking for good mares to herd with or keeping the ones that you were lucky enough to snag and doing it all while looking fabulous was hard on a stallion
>But you, along with your friends, managed to juggle all of this and more with the style and grace that most couldn't even hope to match
>And to celebrate this fact, and because Time Turner had just gotten dumped and needed to have a good time, you had decided to go out and get a little nuts
>You were Caramel
>You were at Ponyville's best (and only) bar
>It was about ten thirty in the afternoon
>The bar was packed
>You and the boys were all dressed up
>And you were ready to party like the sun wasn't gonna come up!
>So, like you did every time that you went out, you and the boys were first partaking in the traditional turnt up shots before you all went out and started dancing
>The shot went down smooth as you drained it in one go, a small smile on your face as you felt the alcohol making it's way down to your belly
>Hmmm, peppermint-y...
>As one you and your squad slapped down your shot glasses
>"Whew, I needed that after that horse apple week on cloud duty," Thunderlane said with a happy sigh
>Mr. Cake nodded
>"Yeah... It's really nice to just get out every once in a while and let my pumpkin watch the little ones for a while..."
>You were tempted to tell the fellas about how AWFUL it had been working on the apple farm but you decided against it
>Tonight wasn't a pity part!
>You were all here to forget about the week!
>To just sit back and have a few drinks and dance with a couple of cute mares
>>26936712
She swears heavily - "doody head".
>>26937397
L&P
A
N
D
P
>>26937397
>...
>Besides, you could always tell them about it tomorrow or the day after that
>...Bucking Applejack
>Looking at your flank when she thought that you weren't looking...
>But you WERE looking
>And even though you knew you had an AMAZING flank (thank you super-hot yoga) you didn't want to be gawked at!
>...
>Fun
>You were supposed to have fun tonight!
"Bartender! Can we get a few more shots over here?" you asked, tapping your hoof against the counter. "We want--
>"Well hellooooo there, sweet cheeks~."
>...Oh no
>Already?!
>Your nose scrunched up
>Looking over your shoulder you could see Cloud Chaser staring at you with half-lidded eyes
>Ew...
>Back the buck up filly...
>Immediately your squad stepped in
>"Get the buck out of here, Cloud Chaser," Thunderlane demanded, his nose scrunching up harder than yours.
>"Yeah, we don't want any of your horse apples today," Spark Plug added. "So why don't you go and bother some of those drunk sluts over there?"
>If Cloud Chaser was discouraged she didn't show it
>"Aw, come on fellas, don't be like that," she cooed, quickly climbing into the chair next to you. "I was just trying to be fri--"
>"At least wait until they've had a few drinks in 'em," Cloudy," a mare sitting at a table called
>Her friends chuckled
>"Yeah, wait until they're liquored up enough not to see notice that flat pegasus flank of your's!"
>Oh no...
>Nononononononononono!
>>26937397
LaP delivers
>>26937435
>You KNEW where this was going!
>You didn't want to deal with this horse apples!
>You want to relax with the bo--
>"The buck did you say to me you fat-flanked earth pony?" Cloud Chaser demanded, turning toward the table
>The group of mares, who were mostly earth ponies you couldn't help but notice, chuckled again
>"I think you heard me well and good, lil' flank," one of the mare's said, calmly sipping her cider. "Those are some fine lookin' stallions over there."
>Aw, that was really--
>"If they're gonna bring a mare home and bend her over on a bed they're gonna want to pound into something with a little more cushion!"
>...Pigs
>All mares were pigs
>And not the good kind of pigs either
>Cloud Chaser huffed
>You could see other pegasui, most likely the mares that she came here with, start to converge one her
>"So what? Do you think they're gonna want to have anything to do with that garbage bag fill of cottage cheese that you earth ponies call a flank? Hah! Don't you make me bucking laugh!"
>Dread filled you as the earth ponies' smiles vanished from their faces
>Horse apples!
>This was the BIGGEST load of horse apples in the whole wide world!!!
>Why couldn't you go out without a whole bunch of mares getting into a flank measuring contest?!
>You opened your mouth to protest when a unicorn mare pipped up
>"Why would they want EITHER of you when they could have a flank like this?" she asked, presenting her flank to the whole room. "Not too big, not too small; it's the perfect size for the perfect mare."
>Both the earth pony mare and Cloud Chaser snorted
>"You best get that chubby flank out of my face!"
>You're plum crazy if you think they want a lil' thing like that!"
>The music abruptly cut off as earth pony, unicorn, and pegasui began arguing
>...Idiots
>>26937453
>Not only were all mares pigs but they were also IDIOTS
>Violent idiots
"Alright, ENOUGH!" you roared. "We don't care about your stupid bucking--"
>"Earth pony flanks are the best!"
>"Naha, unicorn flanks are the best!"
>"What about donkey's?"
>"...BUCK DONKEY'S!"
>Though nopony was throwing punches the atmosphere began to get tense as the yelling got louder and louder and your headache started to grow and grow
>Finally, a pegasus, threw her hooves up into the air
>"We should let the stallions decide who has the best flank!"
>You and the fellas groaned as, almost immediately, a chorus of "Yeah!"'s boomed out
>From behind the bar you watch as Anonymous rose from out of nowhere
>...
>"Good afternoon, ladies," he said casually, resting his elbows on the bar counter and leaning forward
>You and the fellas looked at each other, you then looked over the bar
>Even the bartender looked confused, looking up from the glass that she was cleaning to stare at the human
>...Where the BUCK did Anon come from?!
>There's no way that he was big enough to--
>"Might I ask what seems to be the problem?"
>The mares stopped their rabble-rousing to stare at the human
>Your throat suddenly feels VERY dry when you notice a glint in Anon's eye
>You knew what the glint meant
>It meant a HECK of a lot of headache for you
"Anon, I swear to Celestia--"
>"We're trying to decide which race has the best flank!" one of the mares from the crowd yelled
>A jenny in the crowed pipped up
>"What about don--"
>"BUCK DONKEY'S!"
>Anon thoughtfully hummed
>"Deciding about which pony race has the best flanks huh?" he said, tapping his chin while the glint in his eyes grew more glint-y
>No
>Sweet Celestia no
>>26937468
>Sweet Luna no
>Sweet anypony no!
>He better not--
~The Next Day~
"...You know THIS is why we don't invite you anywhere."
>Anon took a deep breath, his hands on his hips as he looked at the chaos that he had caused
>It was early on this Saturday morning
>Probably about eight or nine o'clock
>It had been about ten hours since you and the fellas had been at the bar
>TEN. HOURS.
>Anonymous, the crazy green monkey that he was, not only somehow managed to gather half of the mares in town for this "Booty Bash" as he called it he had gotten a big platform built, he got permission from the mayor to have this little contest, he got the mares to wear panties that would really make their rumps stand out and he SOMEHOW got the word out that this was going on and he even got some stallions to help judge the mares
>And you weren't too happy to say that the team of stallions helping Anon with... whatever THIS was were you and the boys
>You weren't too happy about it at all
>That wasn't even all that he did to top it all off, but he had done so much in such an impossibly short about of time you didn't even want to think about EVERYTHING he did
>...
>HOW DID HE MANAGE TO GET CATERING AT THE LAST MINUTE LIKE THAT?!
>WHEN YOU GOT YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY CATERED YOU HAD TO SET IT UP WEEKS IN ADVANCE!!!
>You huffed as you sat down on the platform, crossing your hooves, your judge's button rubbing against your chest
>Anon ignored your pouting, taking in a deep, deep breath
>"Can you smell it in the air," Caramel?" he asked, looking over a sea of eagerly chatting mares
"You know if you put all of that energy of your's doing something useful we'd have a prince with some real power in Canterlot."
>"Asses as far as the eye can see," Anon continued, completely ignoring you. "Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones."
>He sniffled, a tear coming to his eye
>"And we're going to look at all of 'em."
>>26937468
Yes. Sweet Celestia yes.
I hope greatest ass Celestia comes to crash this party. Seems like her kind of event.
>>26937494
"I hate you. I hate you so much that I can't STAND it. If hate was a stick I'd have beaten you to dead with it by now."
>"Shush, shush, shush. No tears, only butts my little horse friend," Anon said, leaning over and pressing a single finger against your lips
>Sputtering, you slapped away his hooves
"Why it is every single time that you're around I get forced into wacky shenanigans?!"
>"Because I'm spontaneous."
"You're nuts!"
>"Everyone needs to be a little ruts, otherwise a stick gets shoved up your pooper and it's a bitch to get out."
>You slapped a hoof against the platform, grumbling, but you didn't say another word
>No...
>Anon wasn't the kind of stallion that you could talk sense into or reason with or even get away from
>Somehow, some way, no matter what you did to try to prevent it, you'd find yourself in the shenanigans
>It would be better for everypony, you included, if you just went along with it
"If you think I'm going to be touching a bunch of sweaty mares' flanks all day then you're nuts," you grumbled
>"Hey, I never said ANYTHING about touching," Anon said, throwing up his hands defensively. "All you and the other guys need to do is look at 'em and write a number down on a piece of paper. If that's all you're comfortable with then that's fine."
"I don't even WANT to be a judge," you whined
>Anon raised an eyebrow
>"If you don't want to be a judge that's fine," he said coolly. "But then you ain't getting those black stretchy pants that I have."
>...
>...
>...
>MOTHERBUCKER!
>THEY'D LOOK SO GOOD ON YOU!
"...Fine," you grumbled, getting off the floor and dusting yourself off. "But I swear to Celestia if you don't give me those pants after this is over I'm gonna give you such a PINCH!"
>Grinning, Anon nodded
>"Hey, say what you will about me I'm a man of my word."
>He patted you on the top of your head
>>26937517
>You accepted the pets, though you weren't too happy about it
>And it was a given that your tail didn't start flicking back and forth excitedly when he started scratching that spot that you liked
>Nope; not even a little bit
>"Now why don't you go wait with the other guys while I start this shindig off?"
>Shooing you off the stage Anonymous stood before the crowd
>All talking ceased as the human loudly cleared his throat and clapped his hands together
>"And how's everyone this morning?" he asked as you made your way over to the fellas
>Just like you they were all wearing vests with a judge's button and a little hat that said judge on it
>You all looked horribly tacky but Anon had insisted that you all put on a uniform...
>To your surprise only Thunderlane looked a little nervous and maybe uncomfortable
>Sure, Mr. Cake was doing his best to LOOK like he didn't want to be there but you knew better
>Even though you loved that stallion like a brother and he was a WONDERFUL father he always got a kick out of the younger mares hitting on him; something which was probably BOUND to happen at an event like this
>Which you kind of understood
>If you were his age you were sure it was nice to get reminded that you looked good every once in a while by somepony that wasn't your wife...
>And you HAD to admit that he looked GREAT for his age...
>But...
>You don't know
>It just seemed weird...
>Spark Plug and Time Turner were standing there giggling like a couple of school colts, their eyes darting around as they whispered into each other's ears
>Airheads like always...
>So it looked like Thunderlane was the only other sensible pony here that liked this as much as you
>Urgh...
>It was going to be one of those days wasn't it?
>...
>Who were you kidding?
>Oh COURSE it was going to be one of those days
>ANON was here!
>"First off, before we start this whole... thing, I'd like to welcome you fine ladies to Ponyville's very first asstravaganza!"
>>26937575
>A quiet groan escaped your throat as the mares all around you started stomping their hooves and cheering
>Asstravaganza?
>Oh that was terrib--
>When the BUCK did he get that sign over the platform made?!
>"Now, as I was getting this all set up I was wondering how we were going to do the judging," Anon continued as you quietly wondered how it had all come to this. "Asses come in all shapes and sizes after all, so judging them all the same would be unfair to everyone here."
>"Let us sit on your face! That'll be fair to everypony!" somepony yelled in the crowd, prompting laughter
>PIGS!
>MARES. ARE. PIGS!
>"Maybe after all of this is over, sweetheart," Anon (the slut that he was) replied without missing a beat. "Now where was I? Oh right, the whole judging mare..."
>Clearing his throat Anon put his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels
>"After consulting with by fellow judges over there--"
>That bucking liar!
>He didn't talk to anypony!
>"--We all decided that the best course of action would be to group you by race and judge you on all the attributes that make up the best flanks for unicorns, pegasui, earth ponies, and alicorns
>...
>What...
>Did he just say alicorns?
>As in more than ONE?!
>Your eye twitched as Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence AND Princess Twilight suddenly appeared on the podium with a puff of magic
>Like the rest of the contestants, the mares were wearing pantoeurbkjfbdkfjbvdkfbd!
"Anon! ANON!"
>Forcing your way through the crowd you hopped back onto the platform and charged at the human
>Standing up on your back legs you grabbed him by his collar and started to BUCKING SHAKE HIM!!!
>>26937611
"The Princesses?! You managed to talk the PRINCESSES into this nonsense?!" you demanded, pressing your nose against his
>"What? How were we going to see which alicorn has the best rump if we just judged Twilight?" Anon asked, with that BUCKING glint in his eye and a grin on his face. "That's doesn't seem all that fair to me."
>You opened your mouth to continue to chew him out
"...Buck you," you hissed. "Buck you to Tartarus. Even though that makes sense buck you."
>"Will it make you feel any better if I throw in those fuzzy socks with those pants that you want?" Anon offered
>Your eyes narrowed
>BUCK!
>YOU'D LOOK GREAT IN THOSE BUCKING SOCKS TOO!
>CURSE YOUR AMAZING FASHION SENSE!
>"I'd like to thank you for asking us to be here, Anonymous," Princess Celestia said, her and her fellow princesses stepping forward as you let go of Anon with a grumble and bowed like the peasant that you were
>"Yes, it is pleasant to get out of the castle every once in a while and mingle with our subjects," Princess Luna added, looking over the crowd with a smile
>Princess Cadence giggled
>"It'll also be nice for the judges to decide which princess has the best flank around," she said wiggling her behind
>You didn't like the look in Princess Twilight's eye as she nodded
>"Yeah, I'll be nice to see what you colts think."
>Anon smiled at the group of royalty
>"I can say that the pleasure is all mine, your highness's," he said with a little bow before turning back toward the crowd
>"Now I don't want you all to think that this is gonna be one of those "everyone wins" kind of contest. There's gonna be a winner in each group and there's gonna be a LOT of losers."
>"What do we get if we win?" somepony in the crowd yelled out
>Anon's grin widened
>"You'll get bragging rights of course!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. "And, if you're lucky, you might manage to catch the eye of one of our LOVELY single judges today."
>Your eyes widened
>>26937647
>Did he--
>Why did he--
>Was he doing all of this because you told him about Time Turner getting dumped?!
>Anon gave you a little wink as you gawked at him
>"Alright, I think we'll start with all of the earth ponies first. Ladies, if you'd be so kind as to come and join me?"
>...
>Your eye twitched as the Princesses left the stage and a group of earth ponies climbed up into the platform with the other judges bringing up the rear
>Heh, rear
>Like the--
>...
>Whatthebuck'swrongwithyoucolt?!
>Though there was some playful pushing and shoving you eventually managed to get the mares standing in a row with their backsides to the crowd
>"Alright ladies and gentlestallions, we're starting with earth ponies first," Anon yelled, walking down the row of flanks. "As many of you know earth ponies are the biggest and stockiest of the pony tribes. They're the workers, the hard hitters, so that's what we're looking for in these asses of theirs."
>Anon placed his hand on the rump of the nearest mare, making her twitch in surprise
>"We're looking for big, round, and perky behinds. There's gonna be a lot of muscle on these ladies but there needs to be just enough fat so that there's a little bounce when you give 'em a slap. The word of the day for these mares is THICK; thick and juicy."
>Patting the mare (was that June Bug?) on the flank, Anon pulled out a small notepad and made his way over toward the first mare that you were going to be judging
>A Ms. Mayor mare
>Your mayor, who was an ELECTED OFFICIAL, had decided to wear a pair of deep red fish net stockings with her red panties
>Her rump wiggled slightly as she jutted it out as far as she could, doing her best to make it look as big as possible
>She was also giving Thunderlane bedroom eyes
>The old corn dog
>All of that rump wiggling and heated looks immediately stopped when Anon gave her a hard slap on the behind, making her yelp in both surprise and pain
>>26937679
>"No trying to make your butt look bigger please," he said, scribbling something in his notebook.
>Making a face, the mayor looked back at Anon as she rubbed her rump
>"Of course, my apologizes, Anonymous," she said, adopting a more professional demeanor. "This old mare forgets herself sometimes. Especially when she's surrounded by this many HUNKS."
>You rolled your eyes as Spark Plug and Time Turner giggled
>Stuffing his notebook back into his pants (a quick look over showed that he had had just drawn butts all over the first page), Anon squatted down in front of the mayor
>"Alright, Ms. Mayor, I'm going to slid your panties down so we can start the inspection. Is that alright?"
>The mayor grinned, widening her stance
>"I'm more than ready young stallion~"
>Hooking his thumbs through the panties Anon began to pull them down
>You and the fellas watched as the mayor's flank seemed to EXPLODE out of her undergarments with each inch that he pulled down
>Though she was nearing her late thirty's, the mayor's rump looked looked as perky and full and blemish free as a mare ten years younger
>Letting the panties fall to the floor, Anon leaned back and hummed
>"Alright..."
>Mayor Mare let out a quiet giggle as he grabbed her flanks and started squeezing
>"Her fur looks well maintained... Not too much fat... A bit saggy and the back of the legs could be a little tighter but that's kind of expected with how old you are..."
>The Mayor's giggling turned into a gasp as he started kneading her cheeks, his fingers digging into her cutiemarks
>"The rump itself has that loose muscle that earth ponies are known for... The tail is clean and cut..."
>Your eyes widened as Anon pressed his cheek against the mayor's rump flesh and started nuzzling
"Anon! You stop that right the buck now!" you hissed
>"I'm seeing if her rump would make a good pillow," Anon said, nuzzling deeper into the mayor's flank
>The mayor let out a little moan, wiggling her rump against the human's face
>>26937715
Lucky bastard.
>>26937715
"What does that have to do with ANY of this?!"
>"You've obviously never been an ass-judge before."
"No. I haven't. And never have you you-- stopbitingherrumprightthebucknow!"
>Anon pulled away, stroking his chin thoughtfully
>All around you were red- faced ponies after that little... thing
>The mares waiting in line were staring at Anonymous with a mixture of arousal and anticipation
>Time Turner, Spark Plug, and Mr. Cake were looking everywhere other than where Mayor Mare was standing
>And if the smell that was any indication you'd say that the mayor was happy with how this was turning out
>"I'll give you... a seven," Anon said, looking back at you all. "What do you guys think?"
>You all jumped
>"Yeah."
>"Sounds good."
"Aha."
>"I love my wife very much."
>With a smile, Anon pulled a magic marker from from his back pocket, quickly uncapping it and putting a seven on the mayor's flank
>"Alright, there you go mayor. If we do this again I suggest you wear a bigger pair of panties and start some leg exercises."
>"I'll... keep that... in mind," the panting, blushing mayor said, giving her rump a little wiggle as Anon pulled her panties back up
>You could feel your blush get a little blusher when you noticed a wetness dripping down the mayor's leg
>Your mayor
>The mare that you had elected
>A pony who was responsible for making sure that this entire town was running smoothly
>...
>Bucking Anon
>Giving the mayor's rump a pat Anon stood up
>"Alright," he said, clapping his hands together. "Looks like you're up next Daisy."
>There were about fifty mares on that platform in all but Anon took his time inspecting each and every one the same way that he did with the mayor
>Though the first couple were just as weird and awkward as the very first one eventually you and the boys got used to the craziness that all of this was
>You started to chat with the mares as you poked and prodded them
>You weren't too proud to admit it... but you were kind of getting into it as well
>>26937769
>There was something oddly fun about deciding if a butt was a five or if a butt was too big or if this butt was a seven or this butt was a nine
>It almost felt like furniture shopping in some weird way
>With furniture that was trying to hit on you
>"Hello, honey bun, are you having fun?"
>Mr. Cake smiled as you and the rest of the boys stood behind him, terrified
>Even Anonymous, who had been leading the charge with this whole nonsense, was cowering behind you
>"So you actually decided to come out then, pumpkin?"
>Mrs. Cake nodded, causing one of the biggest, fattest flanks that you've ever seen to start jiggling
>"Yep!" she chirped with a grin. "I managed to get Pinkie to watch the kids so I could come out here and show these fillies who has the best buns in town!"
>Now, you had stared at a LOT of butts today; almost all of them were earth pony butts but they were butts none-the-less
>You had seen big ones, small ones, round ones, flat ones and ones not even the mares that they were attached to could love
>But THIS!
>This was something else
>And sweet Celestia did you not mean that in a good way
>Before you was a grotesque, giant,, wrinkly cottage cheese filled, fat, fat, FAT flank
>It was so big that the granny panties that Mrs. Cakes was wearing had been swallowed up between those nightmare inducing cheeks
>From what you could tell there was no muscle underneath all of that fat
>Because of that there was no shape, there was no perkiness; all there was was a mass of flank
>And you didn't like it
>You didn't like it one bit
>ESPECIALLY with those panties
>"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Anon murmured. "Mr. Cake must be packing a dick that's longer than him if he can find the cunt at the end of that unhappy valley..."
>You nudged the human with a hoof
"Well? Aren't you going to go over there and inspect her," you whispered
>"I'll pass," Anon answered, crouching down even lower so that he could hide himself from that big ol' flank
"You can't PASS!"
>>26937819
>"I've been doing 'em all day. One of you can go this time."
>Frowning, you turned toward the human
"Anonymous, you're the one that set this up and you're the one that all but forced the rest of us into this. You're going to go over there and you're GOING to put those mutts of yours on that mare's flanks and you're going to LIKE IT. And I swear to Celestia if you hurt her feelings I'm going to buck you right OFF this stage."
>You and the other fellas roughly shoved Anon toward the awaiting Mrs. Cake
"Now hurry up and get this over with."
>For a moment Anon looked like he was going to make a break for it
>Seeing this, Spark Plug and Time Turner's horns sparked to life, ready to intercept him
>Not today colt
>You got us into this mess you were seeing this through until the end
>Through both the good and the bad
>Making a face Anon threw his hands in the air
>"Fine. But if she sits on me and I die I'm haunting you fuckers until doomsday," he whisper-shouted before turning toward Mrs. Cake
>You and the other stallions did as well, and as you looked at her you couldn't help but notice that the mare's flank was STILL jiggling
>...
>You knew the beauty was only skin deep and that Mrs. Cake was a wonderful mare
>...But SWEET CELESTIA!
>"M-Morning, Mrs. Cake," Anon said with a shaky smile, getting down in front of the mare
>"Good morning to you too, hon," she said with a giggle, straining her neck so that she could look over her flank at him
>Her smile turned into a frown the longer that she looked at him
>"Are you alright dear," she asked, sounding concerned. "You're looking a little pale..."
>Anon's smile became a little more strained
>"Oh I'm fine," he said as casually as he could manage. "It's just a little warm out here is all."
>Gulping, he reached up and somehow managed to get a hold of Mrs. Cake's panties
>He turned a little paler, and you swear on your cutiemark that you could hear him gulping from ten feet away
>>26937844
>"Alright... L-Let's see what we're working with here..."
>You all watched as he then began to pull the panties off Mrs. Cake
>Mr. Cake was standing there with his chest puffed out and just the biggest, most proud smile that you've ever seen
>You and the other boys were cowering near the edge of the platform ready to make a break for it if the need arose
>Even the other mares, especially the ones standing close to Mrs. Cake, took a few hasty steps away from the shop owner
>Mrs. Cake seemed oblivious to the staring, simply smiling to herself as she watched Anonymous undress her
>"Make sure you don't rip those, hon. Those are my cupcake's favorite," she advised, winking at her husband
>"I-I'll keep that in mind. Now come on you fucking... panties. Come the... fuck off.. goddammit..."
>After a bit of struggling, Anon somehow managed to get the panties completely off her
>You honestly couldn't say how but he did it
>And because he did it you got to see Mrs. Cakes flank in all of its... glory?
>In all of its... horror?
>Horror felt like the better word...
>A quiet whimper escaped Anon's throat as he gave the flank, which from where you were standing looked bigger than him, a squeeze
>His fingers dug into the flank unnaturally deep, making you all wince
>Ewwwwwwww....
>"T-The fur l-looks well maintained," Anon managed to say as his hands slowly traveled up and down her flank. "A-And it... smells a-alright... kind of like b-baked goods."
>To say that Mr. Cake was beaming was an understatement
>"My pumpkin does love her sweets," he boasted, taking a step forward so that he could better watch Anon feeling up his wife. "Go on, Anon, try to lift those cheeks up. Feel how full they are."
>Anon's movements were jerky as he did as Mr. Cake said, trying his best to lift Mrs. Cake's fat, wrinkly behind
>To the surprise of nopony, the thing barely moved
>"You're going to have to try harder than that, dear," Mrs. Cake said with another giggle
>>26937895
>Anon's breathing started to become ragged and you could see his eyes darting around nervously
>He looked like a caged animal with no way out and no hope of escape, but even still he squared his shoulders and tried again
>A grunt escaped his throat as he began to lift with all of his might
>You could hear Spark Plug gagging as Mrs. Cakes flank seemed to mold around his arms as he slowly began to pick up that monster butt
>His face began to turn red and a vein could be clearly seen popping out of his forehead as he lifted that butt inch by inch
>It was almost like a train wreck; a horror show that you couldn't look away from
>You almost felt bad for Anon for a second before you remembered that he did this to himself
>Also buck Anon
>"Come on, hon," Mrs. Cake encouraged. "You're almost there. Just a little big more.... There you go!"
>Making a sound that was a mixture between a groan and a snarl, Anon lifted up Mrs. Cake's flank as high as it would go
>Holding it for a second or two he then combat rolled away, flopping onto his stomach and desperately crawling toward you
>This time you couldn't help but gag when you saw that mess of... terror jiggling
>...And jiggling
>...And jiggli--
>Gagging again, you looked away from the eye of terror, hiding your face behind your notebook
>You're going to need therapy after this
>You're going to have to go to a doctor and screw them the buck up by telling them what happened
>"A one. That ass is getting a fucking one," Anon rasped, crawling toward you and flopping himself right at your hooves.
"She's not getting a one, Anon," you say with a shake of her head. "I don't care how bad it was you're not going to hurt her or Mr. Cake's feelings."
>Staring up at you with this hopeless, defeated look, Anon sighed and lifted up three fingers
>You shook your head
>Anon then raised four
"Two more," you mumbled as Mr. Cake walked over to your little huddled group
>>26937895
>>26937844Why won't Mr. Cake do it though.
>>26937920
Oh this is good. I needed some cringe. Would this be our equivalent to a hippo on two legs in a bikini competition?
>>26937941Then it would be heavily bias for Mrs. Cake
>>26937941He's a canonical cuck; he gets off on not doing it.
>>26937920
>"So what do you guys think? Am I a lucky stallion or am I a lucky stallion?"
>For a second an insane idea comes to mind
>Why not tell Mr. Cake the truth?
Maybe if you just went out and said that Mrs. Cake had a fat, disgusting rump that only a zebra could love then maybe the two of them could take the steps to make it better?
>Or at least if not better than hiding it away in a long skirt or pants or something?
>...No
>No...
>You didn't want to open a can or worms like that today
>Not after all of the horse apples that happened today...
"She's great."
>"You're a real lucky colt, Cake."
>"I wish I had a mare just like her."
>Anon just let out another groan as you all smiled at Mr. Cake, whose chest puffed out even more
>"What can I say? I'm a very lucky stallion," he said, looking down at Anon. "So what's the verdict, Anon?"
>Closing his eyes, Anon reached into his his pocket and pulled out his marker
>"Just give her a fucking six," he said, handing the marker to him. "I'm going on a fucking break. I need just need to go to a... happy place before I keep going on."
>As soon as Mr. Cake, with a slightly confused look on his face, took the marker, Anon began to drag himself toward the crowd of mares
>You could see Roseluck and Bonbon looking at each other, concern in their eyes, before they made their way over to the "poor, traumatized human"
>Or what you'd like to call a big bucking baby
>...You wouldn't have done that for a million bits, sure, but it couldn't have been THAT bad
>"I can see the Charlies in the trees," Anon murmured, his eyes glassy. "They got jars filled with gasoline and double bubble bubble gum. There's pet alligator's everywhere..."
>Bonbon, who managed to get a flank rating of nine, sat down right next to Anon
>Roseluck, who had gotten a solid eight, sat down on the other side of him
>With another groan, Anon pushed the two of them closer and closer until his face was mashed in between their flanks
>>26937941
He is the husband, kinda biased, or in this case biassed, in her favor.
>>26936896
>"Colt, you've got beautiful eyes. But you know what? They'd look even more beautiful if they were looking up at me from between my legs."
>>26937962
>"Caramel. Caramel! Come over here for a second."
>Rolling your eyes you did as Anon asked
>Getting closer you could see that he was rubbing his face against both of the mare's flanks as he squeezed the two of them against him
"What do you want, Anon?"
>"Caramel. Caramel. My friend, my comrade, my little horse chum. I need you to do me a favor."
"...Is it going to be weird?"
>"I need you to call me a slut."
>...
>Why did he ALWAYS have to ask for weird favors?
>An irritated sigh escaped your lips as you began to rub the bridge of your nose
"Anon... I'm not... I'm not going to do that."
>Bonbon let out a quiet gasp as Anon buried his nose into her flank before giving her cutiemark a little kiss
>"Caramel, as a friend I'm asking you to help me out. It's not even a big deal. Just call me a slut, maybe hit me a little and--"
"I'm going to go get us something to drink," you announced, turning right around and walking away
>Anon, Bonbon, and Roseluck watched you walk away
>"Don't worry, Anon, I think you're a HUGE slut," Roseluck assured
>With a smile, Bonbon gave his chest a smack
>"Yep, the biggest slut there is," she added
>Though his face as mostly hidden by mare flank a smile could be seen on Anon's face
>"Thanks girls," he said, sounding grateful. "At least I know that you two are FRIENDS THAT ARE THERE FOR ME!"
>Urgggghhhhh...
>Bucking Anon...
>>26937962
YES BON BOOTY AND ROSE BOOTY BEST BOOTY!
>>26937986
Alright, I'm done. I tried to get back at that Cthulhu thing that I wrote but it looks like scruffy fucked it up.
Now, I can either keep going on with the earth ponies or I could go onto another race. I'll let you guys decide what I should do
>>26937962
Dual facesitting? Oh yeah.
>>26937494
>>"Asses as far as the eye can see," Anon continued, completely ignoring you. "Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones."
>>He sniffled, a tear coming to his eye
>>"And we're going to look at all of 'em."
I knew I liked you for a reason, LaP.
>>26937986
I have no clue what kind of Anon your going for, but this is gold.
>>26938007
Earth pony booty.
>>26938007
Post a few more earth ponies, then go to pegasi.
>>26938007
Go on a few more Earth butts, I want AJ rating for that "bountiful harvest", and maybe Pinkie if you can. Then on to winged butts!
>>26938007
PEGASUSUSUSTHE MASTER RACE
>>26938007
Also a few things. It's pegasi and yours, not your's.
>>26938007
>>26938027
>>26938040
This.
Also requesting Spa ponies, Nurse Redheart and Cheerilee pls.
>>26938071
Not posting Flutterbutt, for shame! I'd post one but don't have any safe for work pics.
>>26938007
Ooh... Finish with BonBon and then move on, please.
>>26938107
>>26937986
>>26938107
I gotchyou senpai
>>26938107
>>26938144
Got some more for you
>>26938107
>>26938144
>>26938151
Truly Fluttertush got the most magnificent ass
>>26938007
It doesn't matter just do more. I wonder if Anon will try to play match maker with Caramel even though Caramel wants nothing of it at all
>>26938159
>>26938151
>>26938144
Thank you for helping prove my point. and the pics.
>>26938199
Anon is probably doing this for Time Turner.
Poor guy had just gotten dumped and he needs some fine 10/10 asses in his life, like right the fuck now.
>>26938239
Pff, step up nigga.
>>26938095
Rhyming zebra is as cute as a button.I wish I could massage that African bottom.
>>26938239
She has to compete fairly with the other Alicorns.
>>26935808
>>26935812
>>26935816
>>26935819
>>26935828
>>26935832
>Mare 6 ponies going on a spooky adventure (by pony standards.
>Obliviously eldritchlewdAnon is the main villain.
FUND IT
>>26938239
>>26938249
>not knowing the best butt.
>>26938239
Princess plot is best plot
>>26938259
I hope we get some bugbutt too.
>>26938249
>>26938281
Breeding butts.
>>26938278
Does that make us Abomanon?
>>26938301
Dude she is there along with the rest of the hive, don't worry about it.
>>26938301
The boniest butt possible.
>>26938328
Not if it's nerdalis
The tiniest of butts.
>>26938336
Nerdalis has the best butt, and will win the butt competition, even if she's not present.
>>26938316Nyarlanontep.
I requested coloring for this pic in the draw thread and they delivered.
Hope we'll see more of your story soon,Venus' Dad.
>>26938301
Fine here.
>>26938479
But where's her wings?
I don't really get it
what is this thread about?
>>26938526
Butts that are reversed in gender roles.
>>26938526
adorably incompetent and sexist pones
>>26938526
Dumb colt can't even read.
>>26938526
Think of traditional gender roles.
Now reverse them.
Now put that whole concept in Equestria.
BOOM: Reverse Gender Roles in Equestria.
>>26937962
>"Big ones, small ones, fat ones, skinny ones."
>Asses come in all shapes and sizes after all
You brought this on yourself. Reap what you sow.
>>"I can see the Charlies in the trees," Anon murmured, his eyes glassy. "They got jars filled with gasoline and double bubble bubble gum. There's pet alligator's everywhere..."
>>26938526
The show's female-centric narrative driven to it's logical conclusion.That Horse Pussy is the best in the world.
>>26938618
>>26938632
What's the RGRE version? Human dick?
>>26938647
I mean monkey.
>>26938647
>What's the RGRE version?
Horsepussy is still horsepussy, anon. It's just about who wields it and how.
>>26938647HOTMONKEY DICK
>>26938479
This weekend. I promise.
>>26938007
Get the local zebra in on this. She could technically fit on team earth pone.
>>26938717
>Get the local zebra in on this. She could technically fit on team earth pone.
REMOVE ZEBRA
>>26938550
i kekked
>>26938766
Ziggers, not even once.
>>26938007
Not sure if /rgre/ or /awt/...
>>26938923
Don't be a bitch, anon. Don't be a bitch.
>>26938923
We have a lot of stuff in here.
>>26938278
>Ponies don't get terrible mental scars
>They just get their jimmies rustled
>No prostitution or churches or institutions
>Just renting a friend for playtime, one-on-one talking with Celestia, and a room full of toys that the ponies can play with and try to forget the spoopy things they saw.
Why isn't this mod real?
>>26938978
Because you touch yourself at night
>>26939036
>>26937962
>Bonbon, who managed to get a flank rating of nine, sat down right next to Anon
Acceptable score.
>>26937990
TOP QUALITY
Why are the inferior-booty lovers even trying?
>>26938978
Because it's so fucking silly not even LaP can.
What's next, teletubbies/pony crossover?
>>26939036
>Because you touch yourself at night
>>26939053
Fuck you, that would be awesome.
>>26937468
>>"We should let the stallions decide who has the best flank!"
>>You and the fellas groaned as, almost immediately, a chorus of "Yeah!"'s boomed out
>>From behind the bar you watch as Anonymous rose from out of nowhere
>>...
>>"Good afternoon, ladies," he said casually, resting his elbows on the bar counter and leaning forward
I laughed. That was pretty good.
>>26937769
>>"I love my wife very much."
>>26939534
Well she's a nice lady really.
>>26939534
Remove bat
>>26890767
This gives me an idea. Has there ever been any stories where Anon "lost his face"? The Mares seeing it as Anon just having a stallion moment or something.
Anon using various things as a temporary mask/face because it doesn't feel right to him to be without one? Or maybe he is incredibly normal or sexy under that mask? He could use paper bags that get ruined by rain, throwing his coat over his head, using a random pony. His personality could even change when he puts on a new mask. Maybe that personality is dependent on who gave him the mask?
>Anon turns around after putting on the purple mask Twilight hoofed him... a small mark of her cutie mark on the back. No doubt trying to subtlety mark her stallion.
>Wait...
>When did she add her hair to the mask?!
>Him turning around, you hear Twilight's voice but not from Twilight! It's coming from... Anon?
>"Thanks Twi, I suddenly feel smarter than everypony and my castle of friendship means that I have the biggest teats in this town. Though I'm really afraid everyone will find out I'm a virgin."
>Rainbow Dash nearly threw up laughing that day.
>>26939614
>Anon, his paper mask soaked and falling apart in the rain, panics and grabs Twilight Sparkle.
>He shoves her soft, plush tummy against his face, desperate to hide his identity.
>For a brief moment, Twilight was SURE this was to be the day she finally got rid of her virginity.
>>26939670
poor twilight
she just needs to get fucked raw already
>>26939680
Yes, yes, yees.
>>26939702
Looking kind of pregnant there, Twilight.
B E S T P O NY
>>26939796
She's pretty cute.
>>26939670
>>26939614
>different masks give anon powers like in Majora's mask
I'm down with that
>>26939856
Don't delude yourself.She's the cutest.
>>26938828
>>26938095
>tfw you will never impregnate a big-bootied zebra mare
>tfw she will never leave you the moment the kid is born
>tfw you will never have to hunt her down for child support
Why live?
>>26937517
>>"Because I'm spontaneous."
wew*~whimsical~*lad
>>26939680
>>26939702
>>26939775
>Twilight/other pone is the secretly angry and bitter /r9k-pol/ beta that everyone knows.
>Has an unearthly fear of being cucked but is also afraid of being alone.
>Hooks up with Anonymous.
>Expects to get cucked and dumped because Anon is a "Dirty modern stallion with no values, self control, or decency."
>Instead she gets a taste of loyalty, monogamy, and what it's like to have a loving and engaging romantic partner.
>JACKPOT.png
>Doesn't change her views, just convinced she got the most patrician stallion around.
>The day she gets knocked up is the day her fear of being cucked goes away.
>>26939956
>Twilight/other pone is the secretly angry and bitter /r9k-pol/
>>26939956
Why would Anon even hook up with Twilight she's a bitter and angry /r9k-pol/ beta?
>>26939992
>secretly
>>26939942
>You will never fuck another zebra mare
>You will never father several half-siblings
>You will never one day realize that you were a nigger all along
>>26939956
>/r9k-pol/
Mixing a self hating loser neet shut in with a racist conspiracy theory anti-establishment Nazi
Not seeing it
>>26940026
Nah, Anon would be the RGRE equivalent of that ugly white chick who fucks a black dude because he's the only one who finds her attractive and gets really fat after having kids IRL.
>>26940034
I dunno. I would at least try to dick the hate out of a /pol/ pony.
>She slowly changes from a hateful loser to a functioning, confident mare.
>And one day, into a loving mother.
>All with your help and insistence that she better herself.
I can dig it
>>26939049
Lots of dreams IRL are sex dreams... frequently really weird ones. Luna sees the human dream world too. Like anyone exposed to an increased kink, she eventually gets desensitized to it and finds herself going after more and more extreme kinks.
after 1000+ years luna is a "will do anything" lover.
>>26940132
"I dunno, babe. I know you're that flexible, but I might not be..."
>"Nonsense, love! We have the utmost faith in your abilities. Now, hoof me the rebar and one of the oxygen tanks. We have much preparation yet!"
>>26940094
That... actually sounds really nice.
>>26940094
What's up with everyone wanting to hate-fuck /pol/?
I know /lgbt/ and /hm/ like /pol/
And /v/ started to get a boner for /pol/ after the 2015 winter ball
Here is part of a comic they were posting in /v/
>>26940132
>Luna dream-walks in on a pony with a really gross fetish
>Offers tips on how to improve
>>26940094
Sounds good, but it doesn't fit Twilight's socially awkward nerd persona the thread has built around her.Could maybe RGRE someday have an Aryanne green?The world might never know.
>>26940132
>>26940162
>>26940204
>maximum overfet
>>26940197
being this new
>>26940270
You sick fuck!
>>26940250
Just put a jew in the middle of her detective evidence board and she is /pol/
RGRE really is baby crazy.
>>26940465
I actually think it's getting kinda out of hand
>>26940523
Never.This is like, one of the few threads where the gay hasn't infested everything.
>>26940531
Well, I mean, there IS a pregnancy general, and while I actually like pregnancy stuff, I'm not that big on just preggo talk in RGRE
>>26940542
>pregnancy general
Awful, just awful. All that's there are hyper fetishists.
>>26940542
>I'm not that big on just preggo talk in RGRE
Impregnation is definitely a favorite in these threads, but it's definitely not all that's talked about.
>>26940531What's wrong with the gay?
>>26940670
it permeates everything like some kind of parasitic fungus
>>26940670
>there is a thread for that
>no breeding possible
That's whats wrong with the gay.
>>26940752
>>no breeding possible
Truly the worst of punishments.
>>26940752
So you're suggesting that because this isn't the pregnancy general that breeding shouldn't be allowed here?
>>26940670
Honestly, in RGRE, I'd rather be with a sissy stallion than a bitchy mare.
>>26940874
What? Do you want to be in a relationship with fifteen overbearing mares, struggle to please them day-by-day, only to be thrown out the moment some other piece of dick catches their eye?
>>26940900
how about neither
get some standards
>>26940859
What ifyou could have both?
>anon is good friends with Applejack
>calls her Jackie
>her friends pick up his habit and call her that too
>Anon tells Twilight about Animu & Mango
>two days later, everypone call AJJackie Chan
>she just doesn't want any trabble, sugarcube
>>26940094
more like
>She slowly changes from a hateful loser to a functioning, confident mare.
>And one day, dumps you for a better guy after gaining confidence from you
>>26940948
This isn't real life, anon.
>>26940931
Jackie Chan Tulpa in RGRE.
>>26940952
you're right, I should leave my /r9k/ at the door
>>26940989
Mare loves you, anon.
>>26939614
I remember a green from long ago where anon wore a mask due to the consequences of pone seeing his face. Most just came instantly upon seeing it.
>>26941072
Memetically orgasm-inducing facial features are my fetish.
>>26940973
Absolutely nothing can go wrong
>>26941105
beat me to it. couldn't find the comic.
Question.Should Cadence get caught?
>>26941466
nah, let them have their time together. Could be some shenanigans involving her covering it up.
>>26941466
yes
>>26940948
>Once-loser waifu fears being cucked above all else.
>Cucks the exotic and caring guy who put up with her shit and would remain monogamous with her if she wanted.
You would need to be a real piece of shit to do this. Like, I don't think ponies have the capacity to be that cruel.
>>26940830
He asked what was wrong with the gay and I answered.
He can write a gaynon in RGRE, if he wants.
Won't bother me, but it won't really peak my interests
>>26941114
Are tulpas really this freaky?
Is it like self induced scizophrenia?
>>26941574
Will the dating couple or the stalking couple notice she's stalking the stalking couple/dating couple?
>>26941466Yes.By Shinning Armor.
>>26939053
>Because it's so fucking silly not even LaP can.What's next, teletubbies/pony crossover?
>Because it's so fucking silly
>not even LaP
/pone prison/ says otherwise
>>26941600
yes
>>26941637
I think I may do this.
>>26941737
Fuck yeah.
>>26936712
Or Anon can just get raped by a mare.
>Be Anon in Equstria, life's pretty sweet.
>Make friends with most fluffy ponies, cause they worry about single stallion
>cut finger one day.... OMG blood every where..... wait your not a sissy you just lick it off, but just before you do you gotta have some fun with it
"Blood for the blood god"
>Mares and stallions alike freak the F**k out cause, Alien stallion has A. been drawn into cult, or 2. is summoning ancient demon.
>they run around trying to figure out what is happening, Twilight come up to you
>"Please Anon which mare has drawn you into a cult"
>You look her directly in her eyes
"Skulls for the skull throne
>You then walk away sucking the blood off you finger
What happens next?
>>26942041
a better prompt comes by
>>26942050
I've got another just wanna see if this one goes anywhere first
>>26942073
It won't. Prompt was kinda shitty. Try harder next time
>>26942050
>"Anon, what the hay do you mean 'no'?" said Rainbow Dash, hovering in place, her cocky body language replaced with plain-to-see confusion.
>You narrow your eyes, having no time for her usual 'i'm so great no one could ever not love me routine'.
"I mean I don't want to have sex with you, Rainbow Dash."
>She scrunches up her mouth and facehoofs briefly before staring at you, lack of comprehension still alight on her features.
>"Yeah, I know what it *means*, duh. I'm not stupid!"
>Mentally, you do that 'kind of' hand wave.
>"I just don't get why you're bringing it up. Like, 'ooh, a stallion doesn't want to do what a Mare tells him'. Who cares? Everypony knows you do it anyway!"
>Is she seriously implying that...
"Dash, what the hell are you getting at?"
>She facehoofs again, harder this time, dragging her hoof down off her face when she ends it.
>"Jeez... I know you're weird, but you're not supposed to be stupid!"
>She lands.
>This may be going somewhere you don't want it to.
"Da-Dash, I have a right to refuse sex with you. Everyone does!"
>She recoils back, looking shocked.
>"Are you saying I'm a stallion?"
>what
"What? N-"
>"Cause I got a Marehood, pal, it's right here."
>She turns around points at the pair of thick, dark blue lips underneath her raised tail.
>"Seeeeee it, Anon? Do. You. See. It?"
>she can't seriously be trying to say what you think she is
"Yes, Dash, you're a mare, I know-"
>She turns back and takes a step at you.
>"Good! Then shut up about 'not wanting to'" - she puts an unflattering voice for that - "and rut me! Only Mares can say 'no' to Mares, Anon."
>>26942041
>What happens next?
We wait with bated breath to see if, when your balls drop, you can spell out naughty words sans asterisks.
>>26942189
fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck
just cause you can curse does not mean you should now fuck off you dick sucking bastard loving sorry excuse of a human being.
>>26942141
"Rainbow Dash! You retarded bird-horse! That's what I have been trying to tell you for an entire month!"
>>26942141
Did I pick a bad time to do this? I wasn't exactly expecting thread drama cause of a shitty prompt.
>>26942141
THATS MY PURSE
I DONT KNOW YOU
>>26942250
na your cool man this fight is fun you post your story
>>26942245
>>26942245
Damn kid.You sure seem to have a lot of repressed anger there.
>>26942250
Don't stop. Kick that blue cunt to the curb.
>>26942302
not realy man it is an internet fight the only way to get prepubescent teens to understand you is to speak their language. Which just happens to include as many curses and implications that the are (gay, have a slutty mother, or are perma-virgins).
>>26942245
Here's the thing, kid. I wouldn't have said shit if you didn't include the root obscenity, fuck. I wouldn't have said shit if you had included it and spelled it out. I only said shit because you wanted to use it, but were too afraid to commit to it.
>Mares and stallions alike freak the F**k out
>freak the F**k out
Lots of ways to convey that and not write fuck. You, however, chose the one phrase that requires fuck. So either you wanted the impact, and were afraid to pay for it by writing that horrible, terrible, no good, very bad eldritch summoning non Euclidean potty word or you just don't know enough about english to know how to convey that idea, freaking the fuck out, outside of that phrase.
I don't know which it is, and also not terribly interested in finding out.
I've got just enough left in me for the night, though, to let you know why you're a fucking limp wristed diaper slathered taint tickling cock worshipping catamite.
If you're gonna swear kid, swear. Or don't. We don't care. But don't fucking walk into Coldstone and ask for sugar free non-dairy options. We're all faggots here, anon, but there's a fucking line.
>>26941105
>Be cursed Anon.
>Forced to wear a mask at all times when outside your home.
>Maybe going to this parade wasn't the best idea after all.
>By a purely unrelated series of crazy accidents somehow your mask got torn off.
>Slowly lifting your gaze you watched as every pony, be it stallion or mare caught sight of your face.
>For generations to come books would tell of the scene that played out.
>Every mare buckled as they came instantly, their juices staining the ground, stallions fell as their dicks shot off rope after rope of semen.
>You didn't go to parades after that.
>>26942367
Finally some an actual conversation though I don't believe Euclid was know for his language skill but for his mathematical prowess, and yes the prompt was not the best but we needed a bump and I had 20 seconds to spare.
But where is the fun in non-verbal cursing, it does not come from a different portion of the brain as verbal cursing does. It is only done for sentence enhancement or by children who think that cursing make them look older, instead of mature.
>>26942367
>eldritch summoning non Euclidean
>>26942431
>I don't believe Euclid was know for his language skill but for his mathematical prowess
Crack a book, you pleb.
>>26942387
This reminds me of a story I read on FiMfiction. Anon was a national treasure who had to wear a bag at all times, because any mare or stallion that looked at him was overcome with the urge to have sex with him.
It was funny, but the writer hated fun and wanted to write only serious shit, in his universe.
>>26942431
>It is only done for sentence enhancement or by children who think that cursing make them look older, instead of mature.
You're literally just wrong there mate, maybe in whatever puritan little town you live in people are scared of words, but other places around the world swearing is just another piece of the language, and the only people afraid to use it are children. And the use of "F**k" is so much more retarded than simply not saying it it any context. You would be less pathetic if you replaced "f**k" with any other word, even if it made you sound like some christian pastor in front of children. It's like you're trying to absolve yourself of the responsibility of using the actual word, it just reeks of cowardice and ignorance.
>>26942387
Sounds very familar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1moEzxL-gY
>>26923433
A finished story. How rare.
Thx Comfy.
BTW check your/you're
>>26942249
kek
>>26942141
>You hurriedly shut the door behind you, eyes wide with fright, and chest visibly rising and falling from the exertion of having ran all the way here.
>The sound of the heavy library door slamming startles Spike, causing him to drop a stack of books he was no doubt doing something-or-other with on Twilight's orders.
>"Whoa, Anon! What's the rush? Seems like a nice night to me."
>you're glad the little lizard is having a nice night, but you've got a perfectly good reason to rush
>reason to do a lot more than rush, honestly. shame you don't carry a taser and pepper spray.
>still, you don't think you can tell a child about what just happened.
"Spike, I need to talk Twilight. Immediately."
>he looks at you, concerned.
>That does a lot to calm your nerves.
>He doesn't stop gathering the dropped books though.
>"Oh, uh, sure. She should be in her bedroom. You know where that is, ri-"
>You're already heading up the stairs, feet thumping harder on the wooden steps then they did on the dirt trail from where Rainbow accosted you to Twilight's Treebrary.
>More due to the difference in material than from a greater urgency, obviously.
>>26942749
>When you get to her bedroom door, it's all you can do to not throw the flimsy wooden thing open.
>You reach out a knock - more forcefully than you expected - upon it.
>You hear a faint, startled noise.
>Twilight Sparkle's familiar, cute voice rings out, only slightly muffled by the oak barrier.
>"Who is it? Spike can't knock that hard."
>You inhale, steadying yourself.
"It's me, Twi."
>"Oh, Anon!" she says, and you hear her trotting closer to the door.
>The knob comes alight with her magic, and twists open with a subtle click.
>Her smiling face appears as the door swings outwards, greeting you warmly.
>"I wasn't expecting a-"
>She makes eye-contact with you and her face drops.
>"Anon, what's wrong?"
>It takes all the assertiveness you have to say it outright, but you do.
"Twilight. Rainbow Dash tried to rape me tonight."
>There. It's out.
>She tilts her head, squinting her eyes.
>"'Tried to'? I don't understand what you mean. Did somepony stop her? Are you here to report them?"
>She looks past you, to your disbelief, worry creeping into her voice.
>"Is Rainbow Dash hurt? Where is she?"
>the fuck
>no way is this happening
>>26942337haha nodash is going to get exactly what she wants here. this is a 'the mares win' story.
>>26942795
sounds like shit, worst fetish.
>>26942795
>mares win
>rainbow gets away with attempted and probably successful rape
That's pretty shit, man.
>>26942795
>this is a 'the mares win' story.
Disgusting.Keep going.
>>26942795
If I wanted to watch a man get in trouble for being raped by a woman I'd look out my window, Anon.
>>26942795
So it's just like real life, huh?Where'd you go, Anon?
>>26942879
>worst fetish.
Close, but no cigar.
>>26939551
Look at the guy
He wants to remove himself
>>26942795
"I...I guess she might be." you practically shrug verbally, in disbelief that that's her priority.
>"Oh no!" the concern in her tone is exacerbated by the cute little hooves-on-the-sides-of-her-head gesture she does.
>"We need to go make sure She's okay!" she says, horn lighting up as she leaves her bedroom and closes the door behind her.
>And this is too much.
"Wha- what about *me*?" you ask, incredulous.
>Twi looks baffled.
>"What about you, Anon?" she says, tilting her head like a confused dog.
>You put your hands on your hips.
>Whatever this is, it stops now.
"I almost got *raped*." you restate, as if she didn't hear you the first time.
>Twilight just kind of makes a face at you.
>"Uh, alright, so? It...happens sometimes, Anon. I'm pretty surprised it was only 'almost'."
>'only almost'
>"In fact..." Twi begins, her voice sounding wary.
>"...I should probably ask you why it wasn't successful. you did cooperate, didn't you, anon?"
>the hell is this surreal twilight zone bullshit
"'Coopera'-? I *ran* from her! I ran all the way across town!"
>>26943045pix plz
>>26943289
>Twilight jolts her head back, eyes wide.
>"You did *what*? Anon that's...I-I don't know if there's even a word for what that is!"
>you're pretty sure there's a few
"'Smart' comes to mind!" you say, stomping a foot to emphasize your point.
"'Reasonable'. 'Logical'. *'Self-defense'*. *'Good'*."
>She's just shaking her head, mouth agape, brow furrowed.
>"'Good'? anon, how could it *possibly* be 'good' for you to not have given Her what She wanted?!"
>fuckin what
>you don't even know where to begin with that
>she doesn't let you begin though
>"Rainbow Dash is a *mare*, anonymous." says Twilight, stern.
>"you're a male. you *give Her* what She wants. That's basic knowledge! It's kindergarten stuff! It's how aaaaaaaaall of this-" she gestures out in all directions "-works!"
>No way.
>That's insane. Retarded. Immoral.
"Twilight, you cannot seriously be saying to me that in Equestria the males-"
>"Obey the Females!" she finishes for you.
>"Serve the Females! *Listen to* the Females!"
>There's a crash as the door to the library swing open way too harshly, and something zooms up the stairs right behind you.
>"*Rut* the Females, whether you. Want. To. Or. Not."
>That's Rainbow Dash's voice, because of *course* it is.
>>26943127doin other stuff, like i gotta do know
>>26942795
>Two hours later
>"Wait wait wait."
>Twilight paces in front of you, a look of concentration dominating her features.
>Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, had been..... escorted somewhere else by some nice mares in shiny armour.
>"So what you're telling me is that it's ILLEGAL for a mare to rape a stallion?"
"Yes."
>Twilight sits on her haunches and smiles brightly at you.
>"Ohhhh! Okay, I think I get it."
>She rubs up against your legs like a cat would and you pull her up onto your lap.
>"Sorry about that, Anon. Sometimes I get laws mixed up."
>You scratch Twilight behind her ears.
"It's okay, Twilight. Want to have anal sex?"
>"Yes."
Good end.
>>26943309
>ending good for anon is good end
Keep dreamin.
>>26943300
>Anon does not want
>Anon is three times bigger than pones
>Story becomes comedy where tiny horses try to make Anon do things and he casually does not do the things
>>26942141
>Rainbow Dash thought she was tough.
>She thought that she's finally be able to leave it all behind.
>The rumors…
>The whispers of "filly fooler."
>In truth, she'd been afraid of the lesser of the sexes for a good, long while as a youth.
>The first time she'd tried to get what she wanted, what she NEEDED, he'd resisted.
>And why would he? Bucking slut was shaking that sack all over Cloudsdale!
>Tried to pretend he wasn't flying above the fillies' hoofball on purpose, showing off those tight globes in that too-small bra of his…
>She hadn't expected to him to fight as hard as he did.
>Everyone found out she couldn't take what she deserved. The shiner was proof enough.
>Suddenly she weren't marely enough to even wrangle a bucking STALLION.
>They'd laughed.
>Somepony else got him the next day, right there on the flight camp grounds. Made it look easy.
>The screams had gotten her so wet as she watched them take turns.
>Make it looks so bucking easy.
>If a mare can't make him want it, a real mare will MAKE him want it.
>Even if he doesn't.
>It's why she left to Ponyville.
>The whispers and laughs that followed her into the night.
>Then she'd found Anonymous, and finally thought she'd feel safe trying again.
>He punted her in the cunt, right there in front of everypony.
>Doubled over on the ground, it was like flight all over again.
>Worst of all, she cried.
>Not for her hurting cunt.
>No.
>The only thing scarred beyond repair that day was her pride.
>>26943398
And thus begins her spiral into self doubt and destructive, asocial behavior.
All her friends get mad at Anon, and demand that he "make it up to her."
>>26943398
>testicle bras
Yesss
Good ending, Snips. I knew we kept you around for a reason.
>>26943398
i thought you were kill
>>26943398
Stop trying to making me feel bad for rapist miniature horses, Snippet.
>>26943398
>>He punted her in the cunt, right there in front of everypony.
kek
>>26943551
Dash is going to get a fetish for it pretty soon.
>>26943398
>Anon was always the alien.
>He continued to be so after that, then more so than ever.
>They'd laughed at Rainbow.
>She'd flown off crying.
>Right off to Fluttershy's house, who comforted her friend patiently and non-judgemental.
>The challenge was set for all of Ponyville.
>Just like before.
>Succeed where she failed, an all too easy task it would seem, given his weak frame and lack of magic.
>They were cowards though.
>Afraid. They arrived in numbers outside his door, just to be sure.
>No pony would say it out loud though.
>Half were hospitalized, the others fled, inventing stories of the human who could sprout demonic wings and harness evil black magics.
>Masquerading as male.
>And at the end of the battle, she arrived.
>Wearing a helmet and pillow padding.
>Once last chance at redeeming herself, a good friend prodding her from behind.
>Two steps in and the tears returned to her.
>And he caught her as she fell to her hooves in final shame.
>And then they talked…
>About a lot of things.
>She'd thought of so many things she could shout in revenge as she took what she needed to salvage herself.
>It all seemed so pointless, then and there.
>Then he was an enemy, a source of shame.
>Suddenly he became a closer friend than she could have thought…
>And that night he made her feel like more of a filly fooler than ever.
>Listening to him, following orders, calling him 'sir.'
>It was all so humiliating with Fluttershy there.
>And she learned to love every moment of it.
Threads disappearing left and right. April fools?
>>26943611
None of the threads I have pinned on the catalog have disappeared. What are you talking about?
>>26943605
Oh my
I knew it.
>>26943526
No, just discovered CK2 and realized I had 2 final papers to finish with virtually no research done.
Expect green all summer long though.
>>26943651
Sheeiiiit.Figures I'm probably going to be job hunting and traveling this summer.
>>26943651
>Commander Keen 2
I love that series.
>>26943651
>>26943710
Fark year Commander Keen.
Sadly, I meant Crusader Kings.
>>26943779
Yeah, I figured.
Don't know where the fuck Commander Keen is coming from. Never heard of it.
>>26943398
>not only is female-on-male rape normal, mares are *shamed* if they can't pull it off
Fuckin post of the year.
>Anon loses part of his leg in an accident
>Everyp0ny thought that he would be permanently traumatized and become a husk of his former self
>Anon wakes up and instantly asks for a fake leg and when he can get back to work
>Mares' faces when
>>26943818
Can't tell if that's sarcasm or not.
Was mostly just running off the prompt. This is actually how it worked in some cultures, especially during antiquity. You can have anything you can take, and if you couldn't take it then you obviously weren't good enough to deserve it.
>>26943864
THE FLESH IS WEAK
>>26943864Not really a realistic reaction to losing your leg.
Unless it's something like a daily occurrence to someone, of course.
>>26943908>Unless it's something like a daily occurrence to someone, of course.
Anon is from spacefuture and robot or bioprosthetic limbs are totally bitching and some people get them to replace their totally normal limbs
He's more concerned by the lack of impulse thrusters than his leg
>>26943908
Anon watched wayyy too many FMA
>>26943908
>>26943864
>part of his leg
>It's just a toe or two, but the ponies are treating it the same as if their entire hoof had been taken off.
>Anon becomes known throughout the land for his incredible fortitude and resistance to pain.
>They're completely baffled when he steps on something small that doesn't even break the skin, and he just starts howling and crying.
Anon is a complete sissy, but adrenaline is a hell of a drug for getting over pain and fear.
>>26943879
It was not sarcasm.
>>26941678
Eugh, this looks like if they vomited all over themselves.
>>26941501
We do though.
>>26941707
That's like, one level more retarded than pone prison. It would be a new low.
>>26944095
Actually given how deep they were being throated in the pic its possible that's the intention.
>>26943905
LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH
>>26944304
>>26944095
I've never been able to like that artist's stuff.
Nobody ever seems like they're enjoying themselves. Instead it's all... blowjob torture or something.
>>26940542
But I am and I'm pretty sure it's quite popular here.
>>26944323
Yeah. I get if it's a genuine mare's "I want you to gag me" thing or something but this is just unpleasant to look at.
>>26938007
Those mares are total bros
>>26944487
Impregnate everything.
Mares, minicows, dragonesses, diamond bitches, sheep, cocksocks of every species.
Even animals, if you're especially adamant about replacing entire nations populations.
>>26938007
Beautiful, one of the best things you wrote during the last weeks. I'd say stick with some earth ponies and then move to another race too
>>26943905
FLESH IS THE FLAW
>>26944528
...so THAT'S how monstergirl settings start.
>>26944615
I forgot plants.
Would the more fluid genetic rules make it possible for Anon to pollinate plants himself (or assign his changeling hive to do so) to create plant girls?
>>26938828
>>26941962
indeed
