Just got done fucking the shit out of my twilight plush. Just don't feel the love anymore. She just lies there with that same fucking stupid grin as I plunge my cock in and out. The passion is all but gone.
/mlp/ any advice to get our relationship back on track?
>>26847573
>shower sex
>>26847573
Jin pls
You know things aren't the same because there's most likely someone else.
>>26847573
Tie up her legs and put a bag over her head or something kinky. You can't expect the doll to be happy with your vanilla attempts at quelling your loneliness forever man.
>>26847585
Shower sex is quite possibly the greatest example of "sounds great on paper, but the worst fucking thing ever in practice."
>>26847573
Stop making fun of me. There is literally NOTHING wrong with dedicating all of my love to a stuffed animal.
>>26847585
You wanna slip and break your dick, anon?
Because that's how you slip and break your dick.
>>26847630
its called penile fractures.
get your facts straight, buddyboi.
>>26847573
You just need to ventilate your skull, let some of the steam out. A nice 9mm should do the trick.
I'm just going to admit it. I've been cheating. I've been fucking my luna plush behind her back for years. I am a disgrace>>26847596
>>26847573
This fucking thread
>>26847573
Go to the next step: Tulpamancy
>>26849333
>not fucking your waifu plush
I'm disappointed in you, mr. Trips
>>26849359
I never fuck my Fluttershy plush. I'm saving myself for her until we exchange our vows and get formerly married. I've even stopped masturbation so I can be 100% pure when I see her.
>>26849371
>I've even stopped masturbation so I can be 100% pure when I see her.
>>26849359
Plush is not for sexual, plush is for consensual snuggles only
>>26849382
>>26849382
How do you get consent from something that can't speak?
>>26849376
What? Did I say something weird? My body will be pure for her.
>>26849385
He looks frightened, like someone's pointing at him with a gun
Look I use my plush as a fleshlight, but kissing and all that, that is made for real partners. It's like kissing a table
>>26847573
Give it to me :^)
I'll make her great again
>>26849387
telepathy
>>26847573
>>>/adv/
no really, i wanna see their responses
>>26849387
>his pony plushie doesn't talk to him
you don't love her enough
So I'm not being rude or anything, just genuinely curious. Are any of you not virgins? Are you attracted to real women?
Real interest here
>>26849392
>You've stopped masturbating
>stopped
You can never be 100% pure now anon, you can only go downhill, there will never be an upward slope.
>>26849511
Yes I'm virginand gay
>>26849524
How old are you if you don't mind answering
>>26849511
I don't fap to pone that often.
I just like
>no hooves
more.
Not virgin, had sex one single time, find it disgusting. Pretty much asexual, can't really think of having a relationship with anyone, no matter the gender.
>>2684952722
but i'm not OP
>>26849512
What do you mean? I'm pure for her now. My body is not tainted with thoughts of other pones.
>>26849505
I do too love her enough
>>26849544
Find that really interesting, so what is it about sex you find disgusting, and what is it that makes ponies more appealing to you
>>26849511
Not a virgin. 33. I've had 14 sexual partners and 5 relationships. Currently single. Much more attracted to pones than people, but sex with>no hoovesis fine too.
>>26849585
>so what is it about sex you find disgusting
I don't really know. I was really hyped for my first time and it actually felt pretty good but since then I just can't even think of doing it with other people.
I enjoy masturbating but sex is a fucking no go, I would maybe go for 69 or getting a handjob/fingering a girl.
>and what is it that makes ponies more appealing to you
As I said, I actually enjoy no hooves more but like once or twice a week I go for pone (I fap like 10-15 times a week, especially when I'm on drugs (Alcohol, cannabis, MDMA, (m)(ethyl)phenidate, or other stimulants)
>>26849597
>>26849612
Thanks for explaining it a bit, I've always found the pony thing odd as an outsider looking in, but never tried to take the time to understand it.
What's this no hooves thing you keep mentioning by the way?
>>26849689
>as an outsider looking in
You should not be here.
Leave before it's too late.
>>26849689
>no hooves
Mean not pony, so humanized/eqg/anthro/real
>>26847573
>Just got done fucking the shit out of my twilight plush
>>26847573
Stop being a faggot and get an girlfriend. people like you are what makes this fandom look bad. leave this fandom get out of your parents basement and GET AN LIFE.
>>26849689
I'm the 33, not the other guy. I've actually always been much more attracted to animals than humans. Pretty much the opposite of the other guy in that I fap almost exclusively to pone, and will maybe like five times a year look at human porn. I only fuck humans thofor now.
>no hooves
Means the character doesn't have hooves: a human.
>>26849743
>get an girlfriend
Fucking normies
>>26849783
Youre an failure at life arent you?
>>26849794
That's what you'd think, faggot
>>26849713
Don't worry I have absolutely no intention of getting into ponies. Have zero conception of why anybody would but it's good to try and understand
>>26849511
>>26849511
Me again, another thing I wanted to ask is how you can manage using a plush as a substitute. Surely you can't argue that one of those feels better than a girl. What's the process behind using one of those rather than trying to have actual sex?
>>26849860
It's cheaper (in the long run)
Easier
Always can when you want
No emotional shit
No risk of breaking up
There are a lot more
And the point about feel better, take a look at flesh lights, the can be pretty nice
>>26849860
Being desperate, unable to get a girl to fuck you and really liking this helps a lot
>>26849818
Thats what you are
>>26849794
>Browsing /mlp/
>Calling others "failures"
Topkek
>>26849511
Had sex 5 times with ex gf.
Now i fap to anatomically correct pone 90% of my faps. The other 10% is >no hooves normie porn.
>>26847573
>Asking for relationship advices on /mlp/
>>26847589
they both wear collars what the fuck who is the owner? their imagination?
>>26847573
Get a new twilight plush to fuck. It's like getting a new girlfriend but it's not cheating because it's the same pony
>>26850000
Checkd
>>26849743
Lol, I love this tasty new pasta, bro!
>>26850000
Look at OP's filename, I'm pretty sure he was trying to start shit but didn't realize we'd just turn it around.
>>26849882
Do you ever consider trying to change things about your life so it's easier for you to get women? Is it something you wish you could do?
>>26849689
Man has been having sex with horses for thousands of years. Farmers sexually experiment with farm animals when they are alone. Bestiality is a lot more common than you think. http://www.health24.com/Sex/Sexual-diversity/Bestiality-is-much-much-more-common-than-you-think-20150218
The fact that people can be sexually attracted to anthropomorphic animals is actually less surprising, since they have human characteristics, small snouts that look like noses, large eyes and so on. Every animal on earth is biologically programmed to have sex, so there would obviously be some variation.
>>26850255
Makes a lot of sense actually, thanks
>>26850312
I think the best answer is that you can't rationalize the dick, and you can never fully understand someone else's fetish or sexuality unless you walk in their shoes. People have fetishes for vore, do you know what vore is?
>>26850332
>>26850339
>>26850350
>>26850350
>Genital Mutilation
>tfw my fetish is castration
>>26850350
>Mexican sugar dancing
>>26850350
>Ohio
wtf
>>26850645
pic related
>>26850625
When you take a dead body, paint it like a day of the dead celebration and have it pulled up by strings like a puppet when you fuck it. People actually do it, and people think cloppers are degenerates.
>>26847573
Here's an option.
>>26850350
>not toddlercon
pleb
>>26850350
Im a normal fag. I like all the normal fag shit. but I also like feet. so guess Im good.
>>26850772
boring doesn't mean "good".
>>26850237
Nah, I've had female friends and one ex in the past, but women are bullshit. I'd rather stick to the few male friends I have and my porn
>>26850350
is there such a thing as an in between weird and creep?
>>26851003
Date nothing but post op trannies. They're just happy somebody is being nice to them and thy have none of the disadvantages of natural women.
>>26851099
r9k pls
don't all those mutants off themselves after the surgery anyway
>>26851099
I already left r9k, why are the traps still haunting me
>>26849511
to be honest anon i dont find humans sexy anymore
it kinda scaries me but everytime i see a pony and or horse i get a instaboner
please tell me im not the only one
>>26851155
>>26849511
Level 31 wizard
Real women? No.
2d and rl horse, faggot.
>>26851194
im sorry anon but its true
>>26851230
See thats why I should change filenames
Where do you think you are? Everyone here is mentally destroyed by horse fetishes
>>26847641
Jokes on you, my penis is already fucked up! HAHAHAHA!kill me, please
>>26852016
Post pictures
>>26849461
How often do you fuck your table?
>>26851129
that's just a meme
>>26851274
Where do you think you are?
my home
>>26851230
>>26852319
It's a meme you dip.
And shame on you for not watching Scrubs.
But to answer your question, yes you're in good company. More so in >>>/trash/
>>26851155
Same.
I seem to have also unitentionally conditioned myself to respond with arousal to the very word "mare"..
>saving money for that toptier mylittlewaifu fucktable life size plushie
>the murican dollar goes up and now its cost is x3 for me
Fuck, being a poorfag really sucks, i just want that plushie so much
>>26852736
You know that's not how it works. Of course I can't really tell since I don't have one, but if it is like regular plushes, just larger, it won't be able to stand on four legs and let you thrust into it, it will collapse. Missionary is the only viable position and you'd still have to hold it in place if it's not heavy enough
>>26852016
Pics or didn't happen
>>26849371
>I've even stopped masturbation so I can be 100% pure when I see her.
sure thing pal
>>26849794
>you're a failure at life arent you?
and what, you aren't? you sure as hell have not gotten successful either, let alone the succ.
>>26847573
>Just got done fucking the shit out of my twilight plush
> She just lies there with that same fucking stupid grin as I plunge my cock in and out
>>26853187
>missionary is the only viable position
>implying sex in missionary position is not my fetish
That would be amazing too, just holding her with a hug in the act or put her on a table, damit I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED!
I just remember that anon with the twili and i feel so fucking jelly
>>26847573
Shake it up in the bedroom. Shove her horn up your ass.
>>26852736
HAHAHAHA good luck on waiting for MLW anytime this century.
>>26853187
as a life size plush fucker, i can tell you that there are plenty of positions you can use. Missionary I suppose is doable, but I've never done it. I prefer cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, with her riding me (I guess I'd be a power bottom). Also fun is "pony style."
>>26849860
It's just easier. I mean, she's lying in bed with me and I fap roughly 5-9 times a week. Personally, I sex her all the time, it's a lot more work than just fapping. But when I "ignore her" (ie. Just snuggling when sleeping, no sexemuals) for a few days or sometimes over a week something just comes over me and we start cuddling and kissing and one thing leads to another.
As for humans, I've had sex once when I was piss drunk. I'm not particularly proud of my performance. I'd happily be with any girl that would let me cuddle and sex, but when I think about all the work and emotions involved with wooing a woman it just puts me right off. And the idea of sex doesn't motivate me.
And I'm too scared of STI's to club scene.
I'm not particularly ugly either, I'm healthy weighted, lazy sixpack, hold a job, have a car, college educated, applying for military. 23 years old.
Just gonna wait til I meet someone who clicks I guess
>>26847573
Two words, Shetland Ponies.
>>26855169
I don't sex her all the time*
>>26855213
THIS MAN KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT
I could use some advice but I'm sure this is the worst board to ask for it. A girl asked me out the other day and I've been nervous.
>>26855986
do it faget, but shower first
>>26855213
Fixed that for you.
>>26850350
>clopping is considered weirder than yiffing
>>26856349
I agree with you, but I think the logic of the guy making the chart is that furries are more common and more normalfags would admit to finding disney characters like the chick from robin hood attractive. Might also be that yiffing is humans with animal characteristics and clopping is animals with human characteristics, or that clopping would be closer attributed to bestiality and/or pedophilia by idiots that think all MLP characters are underage and more "impure" because of little girls and such.
Of course, none of this is accounting for furry fetishes like vore and shit.
>>26850350
>muh incredibly subjective opinion: The image
>>26855213
Change all the text to "Hot", and you've got the right idea.
>>26856304
Other than voting to change anthro to "Fine", this is agreeable.would anyone happen to have a link to the anthro one?
>>26856349
Not sticking up for cloppers or furries but neither of those things are worse than rape.
>>26856304
>Humanized: Fine
>Anthro: You sick bastard
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>26849511
Not a virgin.
I like ponies more than horses, and horses more than women.
Women are boring, though. They're all needy and shit... Humans suck.
>>26847573
Think we can see pics of your plush? For science, of course.
>>26849505
dont go full autism
>>26857095
Dat Celly
>>26855986
Where else
/r9k/ will tell you to get a tranny instead, /adv/ of any other normie hellholes will give you the usual "go for it man ask her out" bullshit
It doesn't matter anyway. If she asked you out, the worst part's done she wants to be with you go and do whatever
