>"Anooon! I fell and scraped my knee and it huuuurts"
>>26839276
"I'll get the peroxide."
>>26839276
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degenerate_art
I incriminate this OP for an obviously disrespectful portrayal of Celestia, a 3000 year old goddess who ruled countries and battled numerous other gods and evils to protect Equestria.
Ironic art is degenerate.
>>26839280
Jesus Christ, Anon. No need to kill her outright.
Here
http://m.wikihow.com/Tie-a-Noose
That should help
>>26839285
>I incriminate this OP for an obviously disrespectful portrayal of Celestia, a 3000 year old goddess who ruled countries and battled numerous other gods and evils to protect Equestria.
Ironic art is degenerate
The only evil she defeated was her sister and shes a bigger faggot then herself
>>26839276
>Guards ! Your princess got a boo boo! Cover me while I give her first aid hugs and get better kisses !
>>26839276
>kneel before her
>respectfully look at her knee
>Hug her
>kiss the pain away
"...who wants a nice slice of cake, huh?"
>>26839315
>>26839310
these. Booboos hurt and are no laughing matter
>>26839315
>"Sniff...c-chocolate filled?"
"Chocolate filled."
>"I d-do"
>>26839285
>Every Headcanon that isn't Mine is Shit: The Post
>>26839326
>>26839315
>They told you Equestria was magic
>They told you Equestria was weird
>But nobody could have ever prepared you to having to scratch behind the ears a beautiful 40+ kg alicorn, sitting on the pantry floor, while she eats a giant slice of chocolate cake sniffling and sobbing.
>"A-anon?"
"Hmmm?"
>"C-can I have a hug?"
>On one hand you fail to understand how she managed to rule till now
>On the other, she's too cute for you to deny her request.
>Celestia never had much of a childhood, being groomed for the throne since birth
>Her servants treated her as their monarch since her parents abdicated
>The most intimate relationship she has is that between herself and her sister
>She tried to channel her motherly emotions into her relationship with Twilight
>But... she talks with Twilight less and less now
>And Luna is always so busy trying to feel useful
>So not only do we have a princess who never had much of a parental figure
>But also one who has a lot of free time on her hoofs
>Cue Anon
>"Thank you kindly for understanding, your Grace" says the noble, bowing with a flourish before daintily trotting out of the throne room
>"Thank goodness for the princess' generosity" he thinks to himself, motioning to grab his handkerchief to wipe his perspiring brow
>His hoof finds nothing but an empty pocket and he grinds to a halt
>His handkerchief
>Where was his handkerchief!
>No gentlepony could go without one. Why, he'd be the laughingstock of the court!
>He gallops back to the throne room
>Was... was that laughter he heard?
>He peers from behind the door and his eyes bulge as he see Anonymous, the princess' adviser... giving the princess a piggyback!?
>"Faster ,Daddy, faster!" she laughs, clutching at his chest and kicking at his sides playfully as Anon stifles his grunts and picks up speed
>A slight smile is on his own face
>"P-Perhaps I dropped it someplace else" the noble mumbles and scurries off
Can't tell if momlestia or kidlestia is cuter
>It's been 3 months since you got to Equestria
>These cute little horses have been extraordinary nice to you
>Heck, the even offered you a place to stay, for free.
>In the royal palace, no less.
>Sure, the beds are somewhat hard on your back (considering they have to sustain a much lighter weight, usually), but it's not something you can't get used to.
>It's half past midnight
>You've finally fell asleep and are dreaming of houses (as usual)
>All of a sudden, tho, you start to feel warmer
>As if somebody had turned heating on
>You wake up, sweating
>In the dark of the room, you feel something big and heavy pressing on your chest
>Also there's a faint, nice smile, hanging in the air
>You decide to explore the bed with your hands
>It's something warm, not too big and not too small.
>Furry.
"...Celestia?"
>"Hmmmmm..."
"C-could you move a bit? It's getting hot in here."
>"No"
>Almost used to the dark, your eyes begin to see her figure
>She's lying besides you, facing the same direction
>Her head almost on level with you
>Her white ears flopping happily
>Guess you can't help it.
"Ok...lemme remove one blanket, tho"
>"Does that mean I get more hugs?"
"...sure."
>>26839429
is there more ?
>>26839631
Nope. I'll think I'll stop at that before it gets too repetitive
>>26839429
Muh heart. Fuck. That is my dream, Anon.
>>26839315
>>26839326
Why do you fat fucks always bring up cake? Can't we make her feel better with some mcdoubles or something.
>>26839276
>Yeah that does tend to hurt a bit I have some medical shit here if you want.
>anon turns to look at celestia
>holy shit celestia that's not scraped that's completely fucking snaped in half the fuck were you doing and why aren't you in hospital
>>26839289
Not sure if serious
>>>>26839429
>tho
>>26839276
Sorry princess, but there is only one thing I can do now
>loads shotgun
>>26839686
Eeeew, mcdoubles aren't cute!
>>26839706
Are you seriously making a ruckus for a contraction?
>>26839718
>>26839697
How about we don't do the whole gore thing with shit quality green to boot.
>>26839753
Who's that hairless monkey?
And thus the mighty alicorn has finally met her match. Her age and height has finally caught up to her. It is likely she won't survive the night.
>Anon this is really hurts please help!
As the sun sets over the horizon the scavengers begin to pick up her scent . they will eat well tonight. Her cries for help will go unanswered.
This is Anon and you're watching pony manor on the animal planet.
>Anon, who are you to talking to?
>>26839762
I don't know actually
>>26839289
Peroxide doesn't hurt you pansy
>>26839758
I don't think you understand what Gore is anon.
>>26839778
Eh, fair enough. From now on I'll refer to her as "Twintail Minka"
>>26839785
>completely snapped in half
We are talking about the princess's leg being snapped in half. How does that not fall under gore? If you want to argue that gore needs to be an image or 3d then you are wrong.
>>26839276
you fucking degenerates u make a shame to be human
>>26839827
It's either "you" or "u", Borat, make up your mind.
>>26839820
I meant just a bone snap.
I guess it's Gore in the sense it's gory but it's not Gore in a guro sense.
And if it's not guro your worried about whats got you so triggered.
>>26839827
>
>>26839280
>>26839289
Nah, iodine will be better.
>>26839276
>You bite back a sigh.
>She’s getting too old to be doing this.
>Setting your hoe down, you turn around to see the little rainbow-maned filly on the verge of tears.
“Oh no! You did? Come here, let me see!”
>Crouching down, you beckon her over.
>Celestia gallops with an overdramatic limp through your garden, trampling a head of cabbage-their dinner next week-before she thrusts out her foreleg, sniffling.
>”It’s really bad, right?”
>Taking her leg in your hands, you make a show of inspecting the very minor scrape.
>The grass stains on her white fur are easily three times the size of what only the most generous of people could call a scrape.
“Hmm...that DOES look pretty bad. Looks like I’m going to have to break out the healing magic.”
>Gently pulling her leg out straight, you kiss her scrape to make it better.
“There we go! The magic should already be working.”
>”You don’t have healing magic!” She sticks her tongue out at you and pulls her leg away.
“Oh I don’t, do I? And why’s that?”
>”You need a horn to have magic!” You can feel the smugness coating her every word as she raises her own little horn high.
>Biting your lip to keep from grinning, you poke the tip of her horn.
“Now, now, not ALL magic comes from horns. In fact, I have some of the most powerful magic in the world. Magic that everypony can use, including you.”
>That gets her attention.
>”You do?” Her eyes grow wide, any trace of her youthful arrogance gone, “What kind of magic is that? I want it!”
>With a chuckle, you reach your hand back and scratch behind her ear.
“It’s the magic of love, Cellybean.”
>She instantly deflates, her ears slamming down as she gives you a pout, “That might fool Luna, but not me! I know that’s not real magic!”
>Damn.
>Here you thought you had a least a good year before she started calling you on that one.
>>26840094
>Luckily, you still have your trump card.
“Oh yes it is! It’s as real as my other magic!”
>She eyes you suspiciously, “What magic’s that?”
“Why, it’s the magic of...TICKLES!”
>You dive forward, your hands easily slipping under her wings as you tickle her sides.
>She shrieks out and falls over, flailing all six of her limbs and rolling in the dirt, her giggles soon overtaking her, signs of the cruel torment you’re imposing on her.
>You stop after a moment, but the damage is done.
>There isn’t a speck of white on her normally alabaster coat.
>...Well…
>You needed a break anyway.
>It’s hot out here.
>Before she can accuse you of inhumane treatment, you stand up,
“Now, how about we go inside, get you cleaned up and make that knee all better?”
>She rolls onto her hooves, and spits out a couple of white feathers that she SOMEHOW managed to get in her mouth.
>”Could you carry me, Anon? My leg still hurts…”
>Dammit, that’s what you get for reminding her of her grievous injury.
“Aren’t you getting a little big for me to carry you? You’re almost up to my waist.”
>she looks almost devastated, her eyes growing large, tears threatening to fall once more, ”But but...you carry Luna!”
“Luna’s also half your size. Come on Celly, you can walk.”
>>26839301
Can't stop projecting can you, too afraid of choking on your own advice.
>>26840098
>”But that just means you need to carry me more NOW, before I’m too big!” She wails out, before collapsing at your feet, her forelegs wrapped around your ankle, “Pleeeease?”
>You try to look away from those puppy dog eyes, but it’s too late.
>They have you caught in their vortex.
“I...guess I can’t argue with that logic. Come on, you’re getting a pony-back ride.”
>You bend back down to the cheers of the filly, who soon clambers onto your back, her forelegs locking around your neck, and her wings wrap around your belly.
>Placing your hands under her rump to steady her, you heft yourself back up, leaning forward as you start to trudge back to your house.
“Soo, how’d you get hurt, anyway?”
>”I was trying to stop Luna from eating cookies and I tripped, but she’s going to say I was trying to make her eat worms!”
>Well.
>That’s oddly specific.
“Celestia? Were you trying to make your little sister eat worms?”
>”Noooooo…” she says in a tone that screams that she most certainly was.
>...These two little orphans are going to be the death of you someday.
>>26840094
>>26840105
Please continue
>>26840141
Give me a bit and I'll see what I can do.No promises, though.
>>26840098
>all six of her limbs
??
>>26840237
>alicorn
>>26840105
Bump for writefag
>>26839276
>Anooon! I fell and scraped my knee and it huuuuurts"
>>26840996
Why are galactic conquering demigods so clumsy?
>>26841318
Part of my soul died reading that panel.
>>26841445
And it's arguably not the best part of that same comic.
>>26839280
You going to bleach her hair and reach for a T-shirt for her to wear?
>>26839359
dats cute nigga
>>26841467
Holy shit, Catwoman fought Darkseid ?
>>26842606
Nah, that's Black Cat (a Spiderman character) vs Thanos... wait, are you being sarcastic? I can't tell.
the green is still going?
>>26843965
If you mean >>26840105 then no. Sorry guys. Can't think of anything that I won't burn out on a day or so from now.
>>26839276
>>26840094
Protip: Alt+0151 for actual em dashes.
— yeah —
>>26844132
Party is over guys pack your things
>>26844337
Belief refusal bump
>>26844132
too bad it was a nice green
>>26844132
This saddens a man :(
