Okay, Anon, we're almost done!
Just one more question and I'll be able to evaluate whether or not you're eligible to immigrate to Equestria!
Remember to answer truthfully.
Do you find yourself attracted to ponies in a romantic or sexual sense?
>rape
>>26794770
Nope. This erection is actually an optical illusion, caused by the pattern on my pants
>>26794770
I would very much enjoy being in a mutual, loving, romantic relationship with a pony mare or stallion of consenting age, including sexual intercourse.
>>26794770
No. It's rather unfortunate that I will have to give up my sex drive one I become an Equestrian citizen.
No, who do you think I am?
>>26794770
no
why am i still on this clop-fest virgin crazed board. cant people watch the show without feeling like they want to cum inside rainbow dash?
>>26794831
Oh, I'm sorry Anon.
You see, Equestria is facing declining birth rates... We simply can't take any riskt that might lead to cross-species relationships since they will lower the birth rates even further.
>>26794803
>>26794845
>>26794854
>>26794870
Great, you all passed the test!
You'll receive further details by mail within 2 weeks.
>>26794900
And you think the rest of these niggers are telling the truth and wouldn't actually >rape the first mare or filly they saw the moment they got there? Tell me you're not that naive, Sparkle.
>>26794900
>Oh, I'm sorry Anon.
>You see, Equestria is facing declining birth rates... We simply can't take any riskt that might lead to cross-species relationships since they will lower the birth rates even further.
Can't you make an exception? I'm a fucking developmental biologist for fuck's sake, I can probably help.
>>26794770
both, but I have a cuckholding fetish and would enjoy the thought of a stallion impregnating my waifu while I watch, then becoming a loving father to his child
>>26794900
If you turn me into a mare I can help with those declining birthrates.
>>26794935
Sign me up too. I'd love to be a broodmare and ensure the future of Equestria.
>>26794770
I want to talk to someone with actual authority over matters of immigration.
>>26794919
But I stressed the importance of honest answers...!
>>26794919
But I am only attracted to Dragons...
>>26794924
I'm sorry, I can't make any exceptions... even for a friend.
>>26794935
>>26794948
Magic doesn't work that way.
>>26794971
I was appointed by Celestia herself to oversee this procedure.
>>26794997
Come on, just let me in and I'll eat your pussy any time you want, for as long as you want.You and I both know you're not doing any reproducing any time soon.
>>26795032
I don't care who appointed you, I want to see your qualifications, or I'll be forced to hold your verdict in contempt until verified by someone who is actually knowledgeable and trained in this field.
>>26795056
Time to build a wall, Twilight, the beaners are getting angry!
>>26794997
What if I told you I know of a substance that, if consumed regularly for at least a year, will make human sperm compatible with Equestrian mares, resulting in completely normal pony offspring? It's a win-win. I'd be happy to do my part to impregnate as many mares as possible.
The only thing I ask in return for my knowledge is permanent citizenship.
>>26795032
"Twilly I will only ask this once."
>>26795055
A-ANON! That's... totaly not appropriate!
I understand your disapointment, but... please leave now.
>>26795056
Wow, you really like to stir up trouble, huh?
Well, I do have all of the relevant authority in this matter, whether you belive me or not. And quite frankly there's nothing you can do about it. Sorry.
>>26795117
>A-ANON! That's... totaly not appropriate!
>I understand your disapointment, but... please leave now.
Give me a fucking break, I heard that squelching noise and saw you clamp your tail down when I suggested it. You want my tongue in your marehood. Admit it.
>>26795117
Okay, then how about we introduce ponyland to the wonders of IVF implantation, if that doesn't solve the problem, then i'm afraid your species is doomed to die out anyway. That's what happens when the top eighty percent of eligible mares become carpet munchers.
>>26795135
*Teleports you far away*
>>26795092
That does sound interesting, but I'm sorry to say I can't take your word on it. I need to see some proof before we negotiate.
>>26795106
Good luck, I'm behind 7 magic forcefields.
>roleplaying
>>26795163
>That does sound interesting, but I'm sorry to say I can't take your word on it. I need to see some proof before we negotiate.
How convenient! I just so happen to have a powerpoint presentation here on my laptop that should convince you. Will you have a look? It'll only take about 15 minutes or so.
>>26795174
Oh, I LOVE powerpoint presentations!
>>26795163
>>26795179
"...and thus, you see, the EPP-51 protein expressed on the surface of the sperm cell combined with the genetic reconstruction of the gamete allows for perfect natural fertilization of the target equine oocyte."
Now, are you convinced?
>>26795032
>Magic doesn't work that way
You were able to turn yourself into a fucking breezie don't give me this shit.
>>26795226
Hmm... The theory seems to add up, but could it really be done in practice? There are some really specific chemicals which has to be manipulated on a molecular level.
>>26795320
*forgot pic.
>>26795195
>>26795320
>>26795327
I already showed you how it can be done. The only missing component is a single piece of information locked away in my brain. You can have it once I've been granted citizenship. I'll even work with you and show you how to produce massive quantities of it, so you can allow other humans who are attracted to mares to some day have their chance as well.
>>26795346
I'll also let you in on a little secret. I've been consuming this substance daily for the last 2 years. I could, in theory, impregnate a mare at this very moment.
>>26794770
I have no interest in sexual intercourse. Chaste, pure, mutual love with either a mare or a stallion is my deepest wish.
>>26795346
Okay, Anon, I'm gonna be honest with you.
The reason we don't want cross-species relations with humans is because they are all creeps.
Case-in-point: Why have you researched and developed a drug like this on your own? Sigh.
>>26795414
That's a little harsh, you don't even know me. I don't have a human family, never was able to find the right woman. Ponies would be different, I could easily find myself infatuated with any of you, because you're all so darn cute and attractive. I want a family someday too. So really, this would take care of both of our problems - my loneliness, as well as helping with the birth rate problem.
Am I a creep just because I want to be happy? I've given up hope ever finding the love of my life on Earth, maybe she's in Equestria somewhere, but I'll never get to find her if I don't at least get the chance.
It's not like I'm out to hurt anyone or anything. I just want a fair chance to fall in love and be happy, to start fresh somewhere new. Is that so wrong?
>>26794900
>rape
>>26794997
But it's not about friendship it's about science
>>26795173
>faggot
>>26795459
Ye, ye, I'm sure it's a very sad and touching story... from your perspective.
But to us ponies you, and any other horse fucking human, come across ass obsessed, horny manchildren.
Even if your intentions are sincere, no mare would be interested in you.
>>26795568
So why deny us entry if it's a non-issue?
>>26795568
How about a stallion?
>>26795568
C...can't I at least try? P..please? I just don't want to die alone... even if I just make a couple friends that's okay. I won't hurt anyone or do anything creepy. I promise. I just want out of this hellhole...
>>26794770
"Only you, dreamboat."
>>26795576
You creep us out, and you're a blight on the equestrian society
>>26795580
>>26795589
You. Are. A. BLIGHT.
>>26795638
Okay... I guess... I guess I'll just go jump off a bridge or something. Shit. I had everything riding on this too. By the way, enjoy your inevitable extinction, unless that was a lie.
>>26795638
So literally why do these immigration tests? For what purpose?
>>26794770
http://picosong.com/9pqP/
>>26795638
There are human deviant freaks who are into ponies, right?
Doesn't that mean there are pony deviant freaks who are into humans?
>>26795708
They need slaves. Slaves that aren't able to be distracted by sex are a plus.
>>26795638
Twilight, hear me out. Just because Equestrian males stay away from you like you're a harpy, doesn't mean human males will treat you the same way. I was talking with Spike earlier, and he told me you're going through a dry spell...well...that would imply there was a wet period at any point in time, but I digress.
Just because all these humans are going through to find love, doesn't give you the right to stop them just because you're jealous of their happiness. Who knows, maybe one of them will actually be the one for you? I'm not gonna lie, we're not perfect, no one is, but we do have our perks. Strong arms to rock you back and forth, smooth hands to rub your back, work out those tense muscles in your wings, I'm not sure if you make Spike do things to you on those lonely nights, but if you could feel what human fingers would do, your perception of humans in a romantic sense would change in an instant.
Or, you can sit here and be a fridgid xenophobic bitch about it. Because that's certianly going to make the stallions come running to you.
And no, Flash Sentry doesn't count, he's paid to stand near you. We all know he's fucking Sunset Shimmer.
But if you're asking me in particular...no. I'm not attracted to horses, especially not after this meeting, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop them from entering my homeland if they're looking for love.
Because I'm not a bitch.
>>26795708
Non-horsefucker humans are A-ok!
They bring new technology and knowledge, and can do a lot of different jobs with their versatile hands.
It's just the sexually deranged ones we dont want.
>>26795732
Why does this read like it was written by a fat tumblr girl
>>26795752
Erm... you know, according to the terms of our treaty with your people, you're not allowed to discriminate based on species or sexuality. So... denying humans that are equi-sexual entry is technically a breach of the treaty, which all of your superiors signed knowing exactly what it meant.
>>26795752
Maybe you haven't seen the latest Gallop Poll that says roughly 36% of mares would consider mating with a human if it meant they could have a family.
>>26795779
Yeah but that makes it sound desperate.
>>26794900
Have you considered a sperm bank?
>>26795717
>>26795732
>>26795770
>>26795779
THAT'S IT! I'm shutting down this program, and Equestria's borders, until this all calms down!
>>26795817
See guys, I told you she was just lonely. If no one wants her, no one can have anyone.
![1454546208510[2].png](https://i.imgur.com/IvaaKSP.png "1454546208510[2].png")
>>26795817
Now we're talking
>>26795817
*throws self on Twilight's horn, getting impaled through the heart*
*cough* *sputter* *choke*
"Why did you kill me, Twilight? All I wanted was lo...."
*slumps over dead*
>>26795817
Too late, Twilight. The people of Equestria are already infected. You should have heeded Madagascar's warning when you had the chance.
>>26795823
GET OUT!
>>26795817
There's no need to be upset, Twilight, after all you wouldn't like to cause another international incident with another species would you?
Oh, well, maybe the Yaks would appreciate our technological advancements a bit more, I've heard that they're welcoming to all visitors to their sovereign nation. I'm sure they would be willing to strike up an accord with us.
>>26795828
Holy shit, Twilight murdered that guy in cold blood just because he wanted to find love! Everyone get pictures while you can! This is gonna make headlines everywhere!
>>26795831
>>26795832
Twilight Sparkle, what's all this racket?
>>26795867
*Anon sputtering blood in the corner while Twilight stomps on his chest*
"Twilight, stop! He's already dead!"
>>26795568
>>26795752
>>26795817
While you may have authority to ensure the survival of your population, you have none regarding the opinions of other mares and stallions on what's attractive, nor do you have the final say on whether your nation's borders remain open. Furthermore, as a governing official, it is your task to remain more or less impartial and take actions that ensure the survival of your species. So maybe you shouldn't speak out of turn about the impression humanity makes as a whole. If it turns out you've been abusing your power to deny passage into Equestria to anyone you find distasteful, Celestia's mailing address is available and I can easily inform her of your casual disregard for the responsibilities of your position. Perhaps I should share this knowledge with the news publications of both our worlds as well?
>>26795867
P-p-p-princess Celestia!
I... I can explain, it's... they...
They are all horse fuckers!
>>26795817
*teleports behind you*
See ya
>>26795867
>>26795888
*point* she killed that guy over there because he's romantically interested in ponies, and wanted to emigrate to your fine kingdom for a chance at finding true love and happiness, but Twilight would have none of it. He became desperate, so she murdered him in cold blood and said "THIS IS WHAT WE DO TO HORSEFUCKERS WHERE I COME FROM, NOW WHO'S NEXT?"
IT's a good thng you arrived when you did, Princess Celestia.
>>26795888
Twilight, this is hardly according to procedure.
Do you mind answering one little question, regarding these "horse fuckers"?
>>26795888
And that's a problem how, exactly?
>>26795904
They bring crime.
They bring drugs.
They're rapists.
>>26795904
*Gulp*
>>26795904
HI AUNTIE, WHAT'S GOING ON?
>>26795867
"Oh...uh...Twilight said you were a big fat meanie...yeah."
>>26795911
Generalization. I could say that ponies bring dark magic, monsters, and friendship indoctrination facilities, but that's not true of all of you, is it?
>>26794770
Certainly. Consensual adult relationships with other intelligent species is a wonderful thing, as your old foalsitter would say.
>>26795915Why are they all still alive?
>>26795920
Thank god you arrived when you did, Candyass. We're almost out of peetzer and twilight won't let us through to get more.
>>26795934
SHE'S ON TO US GUYS, RUN FOR IT.
>>26795934
*swats Celestia's muzzle with a rolled up newspaper*
NO! BAD! That's a BAD murderous pony. BAD GIRL!
>>26795934
he... hehe...
Ha ha...
hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
>>26795935
I GOT YOU, SENPAI!
RUN ANON! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF, YOU TAKE THE PIZZA!
>>26795973
Dude it's cool, I swatted Celesetia's muzzle with a rolled up newspaper, she gets the message. It's all good now.
>>26794770
yes, but its not like im not a beta fag who couldn't get laid if i tried.
>>26795983
This is almost as bad as that time we nuked Luna and the entire British army.
>>26795983
>>26795993
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, ANON, THAT'S HER FETISH! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!
YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE PIZZA BEFORE SHE DOES UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO ALL OF US! FOOD IS HER ONLY WEAKNESS! NOW GO!
>>26795993
Hey sunhorse, mind turning that flashlight down a bit? You're shining it right in my eyes. Don't make me get the newspaper.
I can crush these fuckers just as easily as I spill a glass of chocolate milk
>>26796008
*Twilight suddenly feels an erect human cock thrust into her marehood and is left speechless, overcome with arousal almost instantaneously*
HUMANITY IS GOOD
HUMANITY IS GREAT
DEATH TO XENOPHOBES
>>26796013
This fucking thread.
>>26795934
>>26795961
And so began the great purge of the apes. Equestria was great once again.holy shit why is 4chan so slow
>>26795993
>Dan runs in screaming and suplexes Celestia
I have an idea
Let's wage war against these ponies, we can take them easily. All we need to do is gain the allegiance of some of the many monsters that irrationally hate Equestria, steal their little artifacts and KEEP THEM SOMEWHERE THEY CAN'T FIND THEM, and fire mortars/bullets at them until they're sufficiently subdued!
>>26796046
>10000 years later...
"Here lies Twilight. She never score."
>>26796111
I don't think she ever relied on you for a good dicking, waifufag
>>26794770
>Declining Birthrates of citizens
>Better accept immigrants, because what we really need right now is a whole bunch of people who don't know our language or culture to quickly come in and have 12 children and soon our own children will become a minority in there owns schools and be bullied and the staff will be scared to do anything because they may be labeled species-ist to the point where when we die all our country will be is a silent minority of Equestrian youth that is slowly left in its own secluded communities avoiding areas overrun with Zebras, Gryphons, Hairless Apes, Predators etc.
Just fuck my nation state up
>implying homogenous societies don't work better because there is less friction
This is why people shootout schools, car bomb embassies, hang people, riot, holy-wars, book burning, rallies, invade poland to rescue a suppressed German minority from the zionist banking cartels etc.
Political Correctness, not even once. In all honesty Miss Twilight, you need to consult with your leaders about the future of your country and make sure that you know where its going, a country is not a guaranteed right, it has to be secured and protected until the torch is passed onto its children, the beautiful young fillies and colts that will one day hold the banner that they're ancestors hoisted from nothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eER_ddASco
"EQUESTRIA, the land I love, where PONYKIND do roam, they say true friendship never ends, EQUESTRIA MY HOME" You are home nowhere else in this world Twilight, don't ever give it away.
Only you can make Equestria great again.
>>26796231
Please, we are Anons, not kebabs.
Now, airdropping tens of thousands of kebabs, that would be an interesting weapon against Equestria.
>>26796248
>airdrop thousands of delicious kebabs on Equestria
>ponies eat them, clearly blinded by the deliciousness thereof
>announce to all of Equestria that they ate meat
>ponies dumbfounded that meat could be so tasty
>random ponies begin kidnapping ponies and eating them, just to be sure
>the seeds of mistrust planted
>Equestrian society collapses as everyone is terrified that their neighbors might eat them, so cooperation is impossible
>ponies are divided, unwilling to defend each other
>perfect hunting ground for kebab ingredients
>the cycle continues
>>26796303
Not what I was going for, but just as pleased with the result.
>rp'ing
>>>/ponychan/
>>26794770
Yes
this was fun thread
>>26794770
Yes
>>26795638
>a blight to Equestrian society
That's no way to talk to Equestria's future chief economist. I doubt you guys even know how to do national income accounting, let alone set up a fractional reserve banking system.
>>26796303
KEK
>>26794770
I have no reason to, only reason for coming here is to get away from my old life and start over.
Yes.
>>26795568
You know I'm sure the yaks would love to hear about how poorely your treating foreigners.
>>26794770
The real Twilight wouldn't talk like that, I bet you're a body snatcher or some eldritch abomination.
