>>26772279
Thank you Twilight's mom.
>>26772279
Damn that's rst your son now you, why does everyone in Twilight's family think I make bomb-ass tea?
>>26772279
Bill Cosby gave it to me.
>>26772279
>"i want to bomb your ass, twilight velvet. If you know what i mean"
>>26772415
>>26772279
Stop trying to be relevant and cool, mom.
>>26772596
>she's wearing a backwards turned cap
>"D-don't be hatin' your moms dope ass sick ass fresh fly stupid game, son."
>>26772647
"Mom, I have no idea what you just said but I'm pretty sure you just insulted me in three different ebonics."
>>26772279
>"I must agree with mother, Anon, this tea is indeed quite bomb-ass."
>>26772279
>>26772461
I love how she doesn't once mention she has a husband. That cheeky milf
>>26772759
>"Hol up ma senpai, let me turn it up"
>She awkwardly puts on a pair of sunglasses.
>"Yeeeeee, mofos be hatin' ma bling yo, we be fleking. Come on, let's get dat dank n' hit dat flash brotha"
>"Mom, please take that of, we're late for the school play"
>>26772879
Well shit, just imagine it says f@m instead of senpai, I forgot it does thatgod damnit Hiroshima
>>26772279
That's some mom ass tea
>>26772891
I don't know, I like fampai better. It's very ghetto weeb.
>>26772279
"Sorry Mrs. Sparkle. Your tea isn't as bomb ass as mine."
>>26772279
Shit. i made that tea to poison twilight, spit it out.
>Twilight's mom is named Twilight Velvet
>Twilight's dad is Night Light
How the fuck did they get 'Sparkle' as Twilight's last name?
>>26772997
Pony names make zero sense. Don't think about it.
>>26772997
Ponies don't have surnames and family names in general. I get furiously angry whenever is see "Rarity Belle" for instance.
How do you think ponies are named? Most names seemed to be related to their cutie mark in some way. (I.e. Rainbow Dash.)
Presumably, foals are named BEFORE they get their cutie mark.
how does that work?
>>26773032
How do you think they identify the foals to their parents? (Other than looks, of course.)
In a school, for instance, how would a pone teacher know she was letting a student go home with a family member, and not some pony rapist?
Whenever you name a pony, you automatically assign it its life.
>>26773032
the apple family and pie family do. come to think of it, so do the cakes.
what if earth ponies use surnames and other races dont?
>>26772997
>>26773032
I think they can make their family names a bit more abstract, like she inherited "Twilight" from her mom and then "Light" turned into "Sparkle". That's my headcannon anyway.
What would be Twilight's parent's talents?
Twilight Velvet and Night Light?
>>26773141
magic (moondancer-tier)
Name for a pony that would give abortions?
>>26773173
Rusty Hanger
Unicorn pony abortion doctor
>"This requires very delicate magic... Alright... Fetus Deletus!"
>>26772461
>Anon pulls out his cock in front of her.
>Somehow she doesn't slap/buck him.
>Instead she goes all unf even though it's about 2 times smaller than her husband's dick.
Doesn't this mean all the Princesses have enough magical energy to give an abortion?
>charging extra money for Royal Abortions
>>26773173
Terminator
>>26773371
>Anon pulls out his cock and she doesn't slap/buck him
Tell us about the time you were flashed by an alien, anon.
>Goes unf
Its not about the size, but the "promise" of a long rutting.as for pony size, I doubt they're as endowed as a real horse since most ponies (barring royalty and possibly Clyde/Arabian) are smaller.
>>26773371
IIRC some autistic anon actually made a chart about accurate size comparison
The result is that you'd be as hung as Big Mac, yet has 10 times more stamina
>>26773547
>yet has 10 times more stamina
People keep bringing this up, but it just wouldn't be likely to be true in Equestria.
Real horses are prey animals. Like most prey animals, stamina is not a lasting (hurr hurr) genetic advantage because the longer a prey animal is vulnerable, the more likely it is to become a dead animal. Mating is done quickly and ended soon.
Equestrian ponies are apex creatures, just like Humans. Moreover, they are known to engage (hurr hurr) in lasting, monogamous relationships, as well as provide long-term care for their young. As such a species evolves, genetic selection would lead to preferred couplings of mates that can strengthen the bonds of the relationship - one of those being sexual capacity. Males with greater stamina would tend to have more offspring and increase the quality of the species.
It's much more likely that we would be quite comparable in stamina, and as the size chart has shown, size as well.
Or they could just be cartoon ponies made for kids and we're all a little weird for speculating on their rutting habits, especially given the Cake explanation of how two Earth Pones had a Unicorn and a Pegasus.
>>26773684
The Jews did a good job of subtly telling the kids at home that Mrs. Cake is a whore and Mr. Cake is a good cuck that raises kids who aren't his.
>>26773618
>prey animals
>Mating is done quickly and ended soon
whats my dogs excuse then?
>>26773796
You're not gentle enough with him.
>mating makes an animal more vulnerable
So celestia has more stamina than Chrysalis then?
>>26773796
He likes it ruff.
What are the Main Six's secret fetishes?
Twilight's is Dragons having Sex with cars.
>>26773919
rarity is heavily into scat. she keeps it a secret by bathing 10 times a day.
>>26772777
trips confirm the tea for being bomb-ass
>>26773919
"Just do it Spike! It's not that big of a deal!"
"But Twilight... I'm saving myself for Rarity!"
"Spike! PLEASE! This is for very, VERY, important... Scientific research."
>>26772279
Great, now I need to make myself some tea.
Is the tea with honey the greatest achievement of humankind?
Fluttershy is deeply into bondage and beastiality.
>>26773919
Applejack is into bondage or fucking food.
>>26773078Magic.
>>26773032
Isn't "Rarity" a nickname and not her real name?
Like how Pinkie's name is actually Pinkamena.
>>26773034
All ponies are physic. The ones with bad names just have to make it work like Mayor Mare's parents.
this is one bomb-ass bump anon
>>26772461
I want a greentext of this
If only I could write good stories
>>26774639
Not once was it ever even implied it was a nickname.
>>26772596
>>26772647
>>26772759
I suddenly want green of twilights mom trying to be "cool"
>>26773919
>"Um.. Discord... So, you can use your magic to change ponies into things, right?"
>"Well, yes, I suppose I could do that Fluttershy. Why do you ask?"
>"Well, um, if you don't mind... I want you to turn me into this."
>"What... Is that?"
>"It's twilight's dragon dildo."
>"Uh..."
>"And after you do, please make sure to place me back in her sock drawer."
>"Uuuuh....."
>>26776213
letsgofartherandseewhathappens.jpg
>>26776213
Interesting
>>26776213
>dragon dildo
>not just using spike
fucking pleb twi
>>26773919
>Rarity-Dominatrix
>Applejack-Anal
>Fluttershy-bestiality
>Twilight-Teacher's caning
>Pinkie Pie-food
>Rainbow Dash-submissive
>>26772279
Mrs. Velvet...
That wasn't tea, that was my bong water...
>>26778935
>Rainbow Dash
>Submissive
I never knew I wanted this so badly...
>>26773034
>>26773034
Probably something to do with Harmony or whatever impersonal force flows over Equestria.
Or the writers are lazy shits.
>>26772279
Thank you. Though to be fair it's really just a simple blend of jasmine oolong with mint
>>26773115
Apple family doesn't. Applejack, Big Mac, Applebloom, and Granny Smith. No shared surname.
>>26773093
>Rush into the maternity ward before anyone can stop you.
>Point at a bunch of foals and yell super villain names.
>Run away.
>Wait 10-20 years for some hilarity.
>>26773078
How do you think actual schools do? They have a record. You can't just pick up a random kid because you have the same last name.
>>26773034
Except for lazy bg pony name and bad names from here, the name is mostly based on appearance and what you can assume would be early personality. Fluttershy's special talent is animals, rarity's is fashion, pinkie pie's is parties, twilight sparkle's is magic, rainbow dash's is racing (but she also does have a rainbow mane) and applejack is the exception, bu all of her relatives have apple based names.
>>26773796
Dogs aren't prey animals. They're omnivorous scavengers/pack hunters.
