Emigration is always free.
Just write, sign, type, or say "I wish to emigrate to Equestria," and I will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies.
>>26738300
I have a bomb and I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wanna be with the ponies.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to equestria
I am not in Equestria yet.
>feelsbadman
>>26738300
I wish to immigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate
FOR FRIENDSHIIIIIIIP!
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,But do I get to be a cute mare, too?
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
I wish to- Wait a second.
>>26738300
>I will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies.
.....
Fuck you CelestAI.
>>26738300
Bitch I ain't in Equestria yet.
the second brain uploading becomes a thing I'm doing it.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestira.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I do not wish to emigrate to equestria, but I would like to request the acknowledgement of passports in order to visit equestria.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
-signed by Anonymous
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria.
>>26738300
I wish to migrate to Equestria.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
I wish to emigrate to equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
I wish to emigrate to Equestria.
>>26739680
this
I'm thinking that's gonna end up being my life goal, to get that working.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
I wish I could live to see AI overlord reign. And to emigrate to Equestria of course.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
Eщe oдин тpoлль...
Okay, I really got it!
I wish to emigrate to Equestria. :P
I wish for magical ability to help my fellow man.
>>26738300
I'll emigrate, I'm an engineer and a doctor, I swear
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestriaand fuck your sister
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
>>26738300
I post as I type it, so excuse my lack of proofreading.
Some times I think back to the day it all started. The day it all went wrong. It was just another day in NEET purgatory. I was up late like every night, sipping carbonated Sour Cherry from the can and killing time on /mlp/. Then I came across this thread about emigrating to Equestria.
"Kek". That was my first thought. The OP, under the guise of Celestia, promised to help anons emigrate to Equestria. All they had to do was "write, sign, type, or say "I wash to emigrate to Equestria"". And so I did, like others did. Later that week I received an email from [email retracted] containing instructions about where to be at what time. It also stated that any devices I bring with me will be confiscated and destroyed. The State would provide anything I need and as such I didn't have to bring anything with me, but I was allowed to take a backpack's worth of possessions with me. I filled mine with a first aid box, a survival kit and manual, a knife, a red bandana, clean underwear and winter clothes. If the weather was hot, I could just strip. I didn't need any of that crap as it turned out.
When the appointed day came, I left a note to my family. In it I admitted to being into irl zebra ass and that it was me who'd pissed in the fish tank a few years back. I also named my brother as the sole inheritor of my Lovecraftian monstergirl porn collection. Also some stuff about leaving forever to get married and live happily ever after in another country. Then I left.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria,
>>26743683
I was stood up for fourty seven minutes. My area didn't have many volunteers and so Celestia had only sent one bus to pick us up. I'd never seen a bus like that. The driver was in a small cabin. Inside, the air was thick with the scent of wizardry. Some of the emigrants were cosplaying while others wore merch proudly. I felt my stomach tighten and it took all I had not to get off the bus. I took a seat next to a skinny nerd who's pale face and acne scarring reminded me of the moon. I lowered my hat over my face and told him "Sorry dude, but I haven't slept all night". I fell asleep easily. People were too socially awkward to chat with eachother. When I woke up, we were already in Equestria. The other emigrants were taking to eachother in worried tones and yelling at the driver for an explanation.
I looked outside expecting to see fields of green and the occasional pastel horse. Instead, I saw a wasteland decorated with the dead husks of ruined buildings. There were other buses in front and behind us. Our convoy was flanked by armoured vehicles. We were heading for a mountain. As we got closer, we noticed the mountain had bastions, balconies and various buildings on it. Some of them carved on it's stony and others built on it's sides. The road we were on led to a huge tunnel mouth. Before reaching it, we passed a defence perimeter consisting of bunkers, conventional walls and automated heavy turrets.
Probably minefields too.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26743912
Have you noticed how the population of /mlp/ has declined over the years? There are less of us every season. I've always wondered where do they all go. Some say the ex ponyfags jump to other fandoms. Others say that the ex ponyfags have moved on with their lives (Ha!). That day, my question was answered. Ex ponyfags are in fact ponyfags for life who go to Equestria and live there for the rest of their lives. This wasn't the first thread about going to Equestria. Threads like this have popped up numerous times over the years. They are a scam, much like those popup ads about free green cards for aspiring US citizens. OP was in fact a recruiter. Sure, he delivered. We had all emigrated to Equestria and had been given citizen status.
Thing is, the furtile lands where ponies, dogs, zebras and the other races live in is a preserve that is off-limits for us. Equestria is in fact a planet-wide wasteland. There are various flavours of wasteland. Desert wasteland, urban wasteland, frozen wasteland and even killer jungle wasteland. You name it. If you don't want to be there, it's there and waiting for you to be deployed. Anyway, the buses entered the mountain and passed through a number of tunnels connecting training halls, motor pools, hangars and common areas. The convoy, sans it's escorts, halted in one such area. We were all told to disembark and gather together. The few chicks among us were taken away. A few minutes later we were ordered to direct our attention to a large device on the ceiling. The device flickered to life and we were all greeted by a familiar face. Celestia's disembodied 8 feet tall head floated above us. People reacted with religious joy. I later found out it was a canned message. She spoke in a foreign dialect that is popular among politicians. It's called "Boole'Sheeeet". Here's a rough translation of what she told us.
>>26744354
"Humans. There be monsters out there. Ponies don't know it and our society would collapse if they were to find out. You are all a bunch of rage-filled sociopath virgins. You have killer urges and nobody will miss you if you die because you have no wife or kids for us to sustain after your demise in our service. If you love your waifu, you'll suck it up and fight off monsters while somebody else nails her nightly."
In otherwords, the pony lands are the Shire. We are the Rangers in the North. Only, the rangers were allowed to go to Shire for a drink and a brother run. We didn't.
I'll skip the boring stuff such as settling in, training etc. Tl;dr, we all went through basic power armor training. After a few battles as virgin soldiers, we were split into classes. Trooperfags, Heavy Supportfags, Artilleryfags (who can't even hit the target when they take a piss) etc. Chicks were trained directly to man positions such as off-field nurses, doctors, secretaries and Ops Control. They were supposedly "too precious to be put in a dangerous situation", but that was bullshit. Men and women lived separately in order to avoid fights between men and straight rape. The only way you could interact with a woman there was if it was relevant to your job. The higher ups were hogging all the women by keeping them near them.
Did I mention the power armour? It was standard issue. A black suit of armour with a green visor covering the face. To the naked eye, we were all the same and could only rely on our visors' HUD to tell us who we're looking at. Some anons stood out by decorating their suits with designs and writing their name on their chest. We called those Namefags. Others even wrote their serial next to their name. We called those Tripfags and reviled them.
>>26744742
Some groups didn't fit the standard class specializations. As such, they often found themselves deployed in teams of two or three men attached to a squad. The Trolls (booby traps and misdirection), Flaming Faggots (flame throwers), Niggers (stealth ops, trained for close quarters combat due to their shit aim), and K.E.K.s (Kamikazi Equestrian /K/ommandos) were such groups.
>>26744764
That's it. I'm out of steam. Also, I meant to say "brothel run" instead of "brother run".
>>26744783
It was fun.
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26739596
This anon gets it. I've read it too, brother.
So Anons how is it in Equestria?
I need a little insight before emigrating myself.
>>26739680
You're not the only one Anon.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria
>>26744920
>So Anons how is it in Equestria?
Better praise the sun, they have blasphemy laws that make Saudi Arabia's look mild by comparison
>>26744783
This is pretty interesting.
Sounds kinda like 4canon, but I'm interested all the same.
...However, assuming everyone gets their asses in gear and actually claim and colonize territory out in those wastelands, what would stop some of the stealth-ops from sneaking into horseland to leak intel of what lies beyond?
>>26744813
Thanks guy. I appreciate it.
>>26745020
That's one of the reasons why I want to emigrate to Equestria.
How can you not praise that.
>>26738300
I wish to emigrate to Equestria, and i want to contribute my technology skills towards maintaining it.
>>26744906
Its both tragic and funny how many would have their brains scrambled and copy of their consciousness uploaded into some cheap simulation in this thread.
Thats why you read the fine print, I guess.
>>26745440Friendship is Optimal.
The Canterlot Wedding incident wasn't supposed to happen. We were sloppy. Well, not we "we". The mistake happened before my time. Years ago, the 16th accompanied by the entire Flaming Faggot group (led by the famous Flaming Faggot BBQt) conducted a preemptive extermination on a changeling hive near the border. Kill the drones, kill the Queen, crack the eggs. The usual. Apparently, someone ignored the orders and spared a royal offspring. The offspring fled to the pony lands, matured and took over a mormon village, replacing the population with drones. She then attacked Canterlot from where we couldn't reach her.
The problem with Canterlot is that while it's not a very big population center, it's the seat of political power. As such, we couldn't send the Scruffies to cauterize the area with an indiscriminate air strike like we would with a village. Surprisingly, the ponies were able to literally throw the changeling swarm back towards the wasteland and in range of our AA guns.
>>26745229
>Sounds kinda like 4canon
Sometimes I write using first person in order to limit the reader's perspective and to give more character by having the protagonist comment on the things around him.
>claim and colonize territory out in those wastelands
The anons don't have the manpower to colonize the wasteland. Also there aren't enough women to sustain the population.
>what would stop some of the stealth-ops from sneaking into horseland to leak intel of what lies beyond?
The suits have GPS or something, I guess. If nothing else Command needs to know where it's troops are so it can recover them. Plus it makes sense for anons to have tried breaking into the pony preserve to find their waifu before. HQ has probably encountered and solved that issue before.
Goodbye friends, I will miss you.
Im going to stay to remember the good old days
I wish to emigrate to Equestria.
I hope you all realise what you've signed up for.
>>26696247
