>"welcome to /mlp/, how fucked up are you?"
How fucked up am I? I have a crush on a fictional child! Get out of my way, motherfucker, I'm hardcore!
>>26446404
I don't have a plush
I have all equine based penetratable toys from bad dragon.
Along with 8 others based on other animals
>>26446404
I masturbate to videos of self genital mutilation. I would never do it to my self, but watching a guy slowly cut his penis off using a razor blade makes me cum buckets.
>>26446404
how fucked am I, how fucked am i
I go to the mlp website
>"yea so
without my parents permission
>>26446404
When the hiatus started, I only cried for three days.
>>26446404
I jerked off to EqG.
>No Hooves
>>26446557
>8 others based on other animals
Go on.
>>26446404
I only do plushie play and watch porn of my waifu
>>26446404
I came outside of rainbow dash.
>>26446404
How fucked up am i? I fapped to anthro
>>26446404
I broke up with my highschool sweetheart who was into pony roleplay because she was christian and I am non-religious.
>>26446404
I'm so fucked up that I wrote a Eqg X Undertale fanfic with out any sex scenes.
>>26446653
>I broke up with my highschool sweetheart who was into pony roleplay because she was christian and I am non-religious
>She was into pony roleplay
>He broke up with her
Fucking faggot
>>26446404
I have at least 3 greater deadly sins.
So I'll just play it safe and state the lessar of them.
Ever since 2012 (I think) I began roleplaying with a friend about being the adoptive colt son of Luna. I can't remember all of it but I believe it originally stated out as some kind of NSFW stuff. That toned down and evolved into more cute stuff. Eventually I got turned into an alicorn but this was ages before Twilicorn. It probabily stemmed from emotional trauma but it turned me into someone that legitimately thinks of Luna as my mother. I can't think of a single night where I haven't thought about being wrapped up by Luna in a blanket and falling asleep in her embrace. In the roleplay I would almost never be seen without Luna apart from another character we made up called Gaia. Being some kind of near-omnipotent horse being that had control over plants and such. I'd get vine blankets and sometimes when it rained I'd get a small vine blanket hoodie to go along and shelter me from the rain. I think I even developed a crush on Scootaloo through the roleplay but that's mostly gone nowadays. It even included Nyx at one point or another and a couple of other OCs that I'd rather not name.
Dispite most of this roleplay being cozy and stuff it has definately caused issues with me in real life but my powerlevel has contained it also. Like the earlier mention of always imagining sleeping next to her, dispite how often I fap to horses I always feel guilt about it as if Luna would be incredibly dissapointed in me, this is made worse due to some of my fetishes being morally wrong and disgusting yet I still end up doing it.
My mother is still around and dispite my father being broke up I still see him semi-often. I've never told anyone IRL about all this and it concerns me that this could cause trauma later in life.
My lowest point was about 1-2 years ago when my roleplaying partner decided he wanted to stop the roleplay. I cried hard but I understand why he did it.
>>26446404
I fapped to a real horse,using only my imagination
>>26446690
There's a lot more to this but I reached 2000 character limit and now I can't be bothered.
>>26446690
You still make those 'I want to be a small colt and have Luna as my mommy' posts, though right. That's you, isn't it.
>>26446731
Perhaps. Problem?A majority are mine but not all of them.
>>26446404 (OP)
I have a tulpa.
We can't stop fucking.
>>26446864
i fucking hate typos
>>26446404
I have over 5 gigs of real life horse porn.
>>26446404
i find ponys more sexy than humans i LITERATELY TRIED to find women SEXY . but every time i see a mare be it on tv or online i get a insta boner
>>26446523
>I'm sorry sir,but you appear to be a dwarf.You need to be twice for fucked than average human to pass.
I have had sexual thoughts about one of my cousins.
I also almost participated in sexual activities with another cousin, which I wouldn't have objected to.And I was literally cuckolded when yet another cousin fucked my gf at the time.
>>26446404
>>26447179
Well don't be stingy, do you have a dropbox?
>>26447354Search "best mare pack" on TPB
>>26446404
I have a thing for leather-wearing Nazi dominatrixes.
I don't jerk off the cartoon horses.
>>26447403
how aroused does this picture make you?
>>26446404
I am not sexually attracted to horses or ponys.
>>26446404
I have borderline OCD. I can be really antisocial depends on the people around me..
>>26447680
Get out.
>>26447680
>>26446653
What a weenie. At least you could have let her roleplay as a christian shimmer with you as the atheist anon...
But here you are
i can't give up on pony
i can't get off this ride
>>26446864
Details
>>26446404
None of you know my pain
>Be me
>At little cousin's Pone-themed B-day party
>It's at this small-time cupcake place
>I've been there before, They're pretty good at what they do
>Talk to the parents
>Entertain children
>Eat cupcakes
>Spill no spaghetti
>Feelsgoodman.jpg
>Suddenly, one kid from across the room does a thing
>"Sunshine, sunshine, Ladybugs awake!"
>Holy fuck her voice is sweet and squeaky and cute and wow
>"Clap your hooves an do a little shake"
>Chuckle
>She repeats
>But then I notice that her voice is turning me on
>Why
>Boner has reached critical mass
>The bathroom and exit are on the other side of the room, people will see and think I'm a freak for being hard in a room full of 5yr olds
>Remember that since I'm pretty much this place's best customer they let me use the employee bathroom
>Ask the cashier, we're buds
>Cashierbro says yes
>Go right on in
>Jerkin' it for like 10 mins
>Someone knocks on the door of the bathroom
>About to say "someone's in here" but they open up immediately after the knock
>Apparently cashierbro's shift was just abot over
>A 7/10 qt has just started her shift
>She didn't know I was in there
>The look on her face when she walked in and saw me with my pants all the way down, bent back slightly with both hands on my dick
>She closes the door after a good 5 seconds
>Party ends later, no one finds out
>Never go to store after 5:00 ever again
I guess it could have been a lot worse, but I can't go to sleep without seeing that poor woman's face at least once.
>>26446690
I almost feel sorry for you.
>>26446404
got a new bottle of horse semen
>"sure
it's on!
>>26448038
Will you prove your hardcoreness and drink 5 shots of apple-flavored horse semen?
http://www.odditycentral.com/news/new-zealand-pub-serves-shots-of-apple-flavored-horse-semen.html
>>26448075
Forgot pic
>>26448075
holy shit I need to go there cause my neighbors horse is low on semen
>>26448089
I'd drink a glass of mare juice mixed with something.
I don't know what drink would go well with mare juice. rum?
>>26448130
What would go well with flavored Tuna water?
>>26448075
sorry I don't do real horses
>>26448234
Casual.
>>26447680
>>26447680
how new can you get
How fucked up am I?
I fap to ponies
>>26448185
Yeah rum, rum makes everything taste better
Even if it tastes like rotten fish, you have to think where it comes from, and it will go down easily
>>26448525
You can do better than that, Anon.
>>26448525
Yeah, and!?
>>26448542
>>26448543
In shitty diapers
>>26448565
Now you got it. You may proceed.
I fap to dead deers being fucked in the ass.
>>26448565
I want to snuggle and kiss Rainbow Dash
>>26448594
That thread was fucking great
>>26447626
Is nice, but pls, Aryanne looks like a crazy ex in that pic, not a sexy sadist ready to enslave some degenerates.
>>26446404
I have cuddled a plush in bed and slept with it.
And I never came on them.
>>26448590
As I respect the rules I will not post the webm here.
But have a link.
webmshare.com/DA9XM
>>26448565
OK you can get in so we can kick your fruity ass out
>>26448590
Hey /k/
>>26448776
Thanks man
I hang a Rainbow Dash ornament on my rear view mirror.
I'd fuck Gilda if given the chance. Most of the art I commissioned is Gilda-related.
>>26448791
:^)
But nah, there is enough dead deer porn online, I dont need to shoot one and actually fuck it (although I'm gonna make my hunter's license this or next year).
>>26449302
Where do you live, bro? I'm thinking about doing my hunter's license as well.
>>26449329
Germany
>>26449380Ich auch. Welches Bundesland?
>>26449406
Sachsen-Anhalt
Du?
>>26449425
Saarland. Schön zu wissen, dass ich nicht der einzige Deutsche Jägersanwärter bin auf /mlp/.
>>26446633
>>26449440
Naja, seit ich 15 bin bin ich beim Jagen dabei.
Und jetzt will ich das auch mal ohne ständige Überwachung von nem Bekannten machen.
Fands übrigens lustig wie ich bei ner Treibjagd mit 16 einer der wenigen war, die wussten wie man nen Tier ausnimmt. Da waren welche mit mit teilweise Jahrzehntelanger Erfahrung die dafür zu blöd waren.
>>26449472
Neiß! Das klingt nach einem sehr erfüllenden Hobby.
Hab mal eine Zeit lang gefischt. Macht Spaß, ist mir aber zu sedentär. Wirklich geschossen hab ich noch nie, bei einer Jagd war ich auch noch nie dabei.
Wie viel lässt du dir den Spaß kosten?
>>26446404
I masturbated to EqG, Claire Corlett, and the CMC.
>>26449509
Hab noch keine Ahnung was der kostet, ich wollte demnächst mal den Typen der mich in Sachen Jagd quasi aufgezogen hatte, fragen wo ich das eigentlich machen kann. Hab jetzt schon ne Weile darüber nachgedacht und den Schluss gefasst, dass ich ihn dieses Jahr machen will.
Oder meinst du wie viel ich für die Jagd so Allgemein ausgeben will?
>>26449524
Remember when we used to have Claire threads every weekend?
>>26449596
yes, i miss them so much
>>26449554
Hab halt einiges gehört über den Preis vom Jagdschein. Soll von Ort zu Ort zwischen 2000 und 20000 Euro liegen. Keine Ahnung ob das richtig ist.
Was die Kosten danach angeht, weißt du wo du jagen willst? Hab gelesen, da kommen die größten Kosten auf dich zu.
>>26449607
Jo, nen Kumpel würde mir eventuell nen Revier etwas günstiger besorgen. Das müsste ich dann halt nur mit ihm und nen paar anderen teilen.
Teuer wirds auf jeden Fall, aber zum Glück hab ich noch nen paar Tausend vom Führerscheinkonto und anderen Konten die mir meine Eltern angelegt haben als ich noch jünger war übrig.
>>26449648
Hm, das könnte mich vom Jagen vielleicht abhalten. Ich kenne keinen mehr, der mich in sein Gebiet lassen würde. Naja, ich mache mal meinen Bachelor und schaue wie es danach mit dem Geld aussieht.
>>26449607
KANKER MOFFEN OPKANKEREN
KANKER NAZI'S
>>26446690
If I could see you, I'd give you a cookie.
>>26446404
I started drink milk from it's container today and notice there was chunks in the milk.
I didn't really care so i finished the container off. The milk was expired by two days
>>26449689
I don't speak Neanderthalish.
>>26449712
KANKER DUITSERS
>>26449682
Jau, konzentriere dich erstmal auf eine Sache.
Du musst dir ja auch noch das ganze Zubehör holen (ne Waffe, vernünftige Kleidung insbesondere Stiefel), und nen Auto wäre auch nicht schlecht, ich hätte nämlich keine Lust das Wild mehrere Kilometer durch die Walachei zu tragen.
>>26449712
VERPISS DICH ADOLF
>>26449722
>>26449746
;3
>>26449724
Stimmt.
Hast du vor dir nachher noch eine WBK zu beantragen?
>>26446404
how fucked up am I
i have a place where I praise ponies
......at my basement with my mom
>>26449769
Pfff, die kosten ja nicht viel, ich denke schon.
Officially a Hitler thread
>>26446557
They are like 130$ each. Are you rich?
When I was 13 years old, I had two of my cousins (both aged 11) fight each other to suck my penis. Greater times have never been seen since.
>>26446523
I can relateWho is it?
>>26449929
oh simply ebic, /b/ro.
>>26446561
>>26450015
It was pretty alright for a bunch of no-hooves.
>>26447206
get out 10 y/o
>>26448016
kek
>>26446561
anon we are not supposed to go that far
>>26446404
I browse this siteAnd I'm underagedBet you wish you were this degenerate when you were 14
>>26450394
see yea in 3 days anon
>>26450394
ding dong bannu
>>26447344Berry?
>>26450394
>>26446404I un-ironically watch Stephen Universe
>>26451067
No janitor (moderator) is online right now.
>>26451068
You win
>>26450394
I found imagebards 11 years ago at the age of 12.
rate
>>26451083
You are a faggot (homosexual) .
How fucked up am i?
I have read alot of green of people fucking dogs
>yeah so
And got a massive boner
>>26449891
KEK
>>26446653
>Chastising comment
>Mandatory faggot
Get out you are no longer welcome here
>>26447368
I'm pretty sure I was the anon that recommended that shit to you. Glad to see you enjoying it but don't think it makes you special, anyone can google mareginas and crotchtits
>>26446561
Really?!
>>26446404
I write greens
>So?
Without a sex scene...
>>26452757
A rarer sight than an original pepe.
