Celestia declared war on the humans. What happens?
>>26419689
Nukes happen.
>>26419705
Magic > Nukes
>>26419689
Salvation War with ponies.
>>26419689
Jolly cooperation
>>26419689
Everything dies. We have weapons that are far more destructive than nukes, as do they.
So there would be no "winner" in that situation
>>26419710
Magic can't even handle bugs, dumbass.
>>26419689
We get sent underground.
Nuke canterlot, ponies are without their leaders and royal guard "as much good as they would have done, most useless fighting force ever"
Watch rest of equestria fall in hours after witnessing the beings they view above all else fall so easy.
>>26419689
Pillow fights
We retaliate with a bigass pillow on top of Ponyville
and another one on Manehattan
They surrender due to inferior arms.
>>26419689
Nothing, becausewe'renot real.
>>26419705
>>26419710
we don't need nukes when neutron bombs will do just fine
>>26419689
Pony slaves for everyone. DIBS ON FLUTTERSHY!
Pony Slaves, dude, Pony Slaves, watch the world get Cadence fucked on all holes and Celestia still being treated as a goddess cuz white-knights. Everything can happen.
>>26419689
Ponies lose, because you need thumbs to declare a thumb war.
>>26419689
We see a battalion of humans turncoat on the rest and side with ponies.
That is /mlp/ and all it's variations.
Single largest food fight ever.
America puts up the best defence
>>26419689
Ponies overrun humanity and take them as their sex slaves.Naw, unfortunately this wouldn't happen. We'd probably kick their asses barring some deus ex machina artifact friendship nonsense. Which I suppose isn't actually outside the realm of possibility.
>>26419710
Magic cant be used against sentient species
>>26420843
>this is what liberals believe.jpg
>>26419689
Nothing, because there's no humans in Equestria.
Sadly, it won't do anything to prevent faggots from starting stupid threads.
>>26419689
They put Fluttershy in front of a camera and have her broadcast The Stare to all TV screens. Most humans surrender within the hour.
Slave pony thread happen, that's what
>>26419689
BRRRRRRRT happens.
Bioweapons testing on horsies when?
>>26421720
I hadn't even thought about that. I wonder what VX nerve gas does to ponies. Probably not good things.
>>26420843
What the fuck man. Twilight doesn't have to laser them to death, but she should have done something.
I mean, It's one sided as fuck. Thousands of nukes, jets, tanks, sea vessels and around 850 million soldiers total on earth. And not even that we are pretty good at chemical warfare we can infect them with a no cure disease.
>>26419689
I would tame the vile shrew with my mighty 6" donger. The war would be over in 18 seconds or less.
>>26420843
Didn't Moondancer lift Twilight in the air using magic?
>>26421284
How do you know the stare could do anything to the superior human mind?
>princess celestia meets with human ambassadors
>one of the ambassadors comes up to the princess and scratches behind her ears
Oh boy. Here I come motherfuckers.
The Gregorian Year is 4914. After 2000 years of living in the shadow of Equestria, humanity has finally re-industrialized and is planning to reassert their place as the dominant species of Earth. A young human manages to sneak into Canterlot while the guard are busy protecting the The Equestria Games and tries to assassinate Celestia by firing several pistol rounds into the royal grandstand, and then throwing a phosgene canister into it. Celestia survives, but Luna is in critical condition. The two guards protecting the box's entrance and Prince Blue Blood are killed. War ensues, pitting the mostly agrarian, magic-based society of Equestria against the industrial society of the humans. Who wins?
**** General Notes: OP will mainly post the war's progression as I see fit, though anyone and everyone is welcome to shift the front lines or make changes to strategy. OP will also post journal-style entries following soldiers of both sides, documenting the war 1'st person. Again, everyone is welcome to join in. Greentext, writefag, fanfic, suggestions, etc. all welcome. For the maps, Human advances and positions will be shown in red, Equestrian advances and positions will be shown in lime green, front lines will be shown in black. Original map source: Original map source:http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Equestria ****
>>26422483
Humans are represented by The Greater People's Republic of Pananthropita or Pananthropitan Republic. It is far from republican in its government, organized similarly to the Soviet Union under Stalin in wartime and Brezhnev in peacetime, though the government has a high approval rating (mostly because dissidence is stamped out). It's on a technological and economic level equivalent of the United States and Germany combined during WW2, but no nuclear arsenal as of yet, though it has developed nuclear power generation, computer systems, and CNG engines (mostly used on trains). It's aims in this conflict are to expand the realm of humanity, a reconquest of territory lost as humanity contracted. It has a population ~740,000,000 people and covers a land area roughly equivalent to the size of Europe and the Middle East (b/t Palestine and the Indus River valley) on an as of yet undiscovered continent with a topography and climate range similar to North America. The official language is a hybrid of British and American dialects of English, now known as Human Basic, and religion has all but been forgotten, as national doctrine encourages devotion to state and species over anything else. They use the metric system of weights and measures. Pic related is their flag.
A human force consisting of fifteen field corps (see WW1 German army organization) advance out of the west and split into three, Army Group North, Army Group South, and Army Group Central. Army Group North lands in just north of Vanhoover, taking the city and regrouping with Army Group Central and advancing east. Army Group South besieged and took Los Pegasus and began advancing through the mountains. Army Group Central makes quick advances eastward, but is halted 20 miles outside of Ponyville. Trench warfare soon breaks out as Equestrian forces are able to mobilize and human forces dig in and solidify their positions. Cloudsdale has also fallen victim to numerous assaults by human air forces.
>>26422527
>le muh communism
>le muh atheism
>le my clean energy but no nuclear weapons
^^^^:)
>>26419689
Defect immediately
Cross over the portal with as much information as I possibly can about how technology works, its limitations, and how to counter it.
The faster humanity is beaten into total submission, the fewer lives will be lost and the sooner Earth can be absorbed as a state of the Equestrian nation.
Only a handful of ponies have the right mindset for combat, and even then most of them would only fight in defense of their home.
They'd get fucked into oblivion by humans
>>26419705
People always say this.
Nukes were used in one war. Right at the tail end as a closing act. It's not like we're just tossing them around left and right.
>>26422941
>It's not like we're just tossing them around left and right.
>approximately 2053 nuclear weapons detonated between 1945 and 1998.
>2 more alleged nuclear detonations by DPRK in the 2000s.
>>26422805
No nukes was to counter "muh nukes > magic" argument.
>>26422861
BURN THE TRAITOR!
>>26422978
Counting testing of warheads. Cute.
Tell me how many of them were weapons used in anger against another country during wartime.
>>26422861
>Alien sympathy
Get out
>>26422573
Several divisions of Army Group Central are able to advance the front ten miles closer to Ponyville with heavy casulties, and are thus prevented from entering the city. The air wings attached to Army Group Central commence a carpet bombing campaign against the city and the surrounding Everfree Forrest while human artillery continue heavy bombardment of Guard positions. Princess Twilight was forced out of necessity to open her castle to the city's refugees and evacuation orders are put in place. Meanwhile, the Crystal Empire mobilizes against Army Group North, but their forces are pushed back and lost a rail junction, effectively cutting the Crystal Empire off from Canterlot. In the south, an airborne division of Army Group South capture a bridge over Ghastly Gorge while the main force advances toward Appleloosa, preparing for an assault on the city.
ponies win because plot armor and a magical doohicky that fucks us.
>>26422861
As much as I like pones and despise mankind, I would be conflicted were there a choice to betray humanity.Vigilo Confido
>cAN We BE of ASsIstANce
>>26419689
Does Equestria have oil?
Does it need to be freed?!
>>26420004
We dismantled the neutron bombs, idiot.
Which is a sham because the fucking things were magic.
You can thank Bush for that.
>>26423146
>I like pones
>and despise humanity
If humiliating all humanity while securing your legacy as the most hated traitor in all history doesn't do it for you, then one of these statements is false.
>>26423181
>>26423181
>Does Equestria have oil?
we won't know until we give them democracy
>Celestia gets drunk and declares a war on a species that knows nothing but war.
>And even humanity didn't want this fight, but it came to them.
>It was quick, it was brutal, but if ponies could be saved, they were captured and given treatment.
>Eventually the dust settled, and instead of killing prisoners like was feared, they were released, and the humans helped rebuild what was lost.
>>26423210
>Celestia gets drunk and declares a war on a species that knows nothing but war and sex.
fixed.
Starspawns declares war on humanity and ponies.What do?
>>26423195
I am but a simple and conflicted man.
>be the man who sold the world
>after full domination of humanity, you are deemed no longer useful
>get extradited and face the consequences
or get a good ending and get given a place in some council or some shit, dunno.
>>26422990
Nukes are way better than magic
>>26422861
edgy
>>26423253
They drop nuke
You create a magic portal to their capital
Nuke fall in portal
????
That's how magicians won the war.
>Celestia declares war on humanity.
>Several ponies pull their masks off to reveal that they are in fact Seals.
>Canterlot of captured in moments, live on TV.
>Chrysalis throws her remote at her TV reeeeeeing.
>>26423264
>implying magic is powerful enough to do that
>Celestia declares war on humanity
>Humanity get's scared after just leaving a great war
>Ponies have gold armor and iron swords
>Humanity lols
>Give Celestia a NOVA bomb and instructions on how to turn it on as a gift
>Lol as you head back to Earth
>>26423282
>Implying it's not
It's not even epic-tier spell ,anon.Just a bigger 4th level translocation spell.
>>26423291
The only time I ever see powerful magic is when it has to do with one of the ponies special talents. Also, how do you know the magic will effect Terran material and humans?
>>26419689
A shitty thread gets made.
>>26423390
>The only time I ever see powerful magic is when it has to do with one of the ponies special talents.
There're always alicorns.
>Also, how do you know the magic will effect Terran material and humans?
Because humans have magic?Because there are some 3rd side of the conflict,like reptilians or mi-go?
>>26423455
Humans aren't build around magic
We lose.
Badly.
Our new overlady and rule declares martial law.
Cuddles become compulsory.
Stare squads patrol our streets, harshly reprimanding whoever refuses to behave kindly.
Humans are forced to pet ponies, while on trains or any other pubblic transportation.
The horror.
The horror.
>>26419689
Nothing at first. Humans will laugh it off. Then everything changes when Equestria attacks. Suddenly it's boots on the ground. Humans won't even need nukes to win the war, though I doubt we'd have any qualms over it considering Equestria is populated by non-humans and is a world away.
>>26420583
Humans don't lack friendship though. In fact, I bet you'd see some of the strongest bonds between the men on the front lines. Ponies wouldn't know what to do with humans.
>>26423264
>implying that nukes blow when they hit the ground.
Nukes can be detonated anytime after it's armed.
>>26419814
>"Long ago there were two races in equestria"
>"Ponies and Humans"
>"however soon war broke out between the races of pony and man."
>"for stallion hated man and woman hated mare."
>"the jealousy of the genders for their racial counterparts led to a war of epic proportions . Oh and pony and human sluls were fundamentally different.
>"And so caught off guard the humans were sealed beneath the earth in the prison now known as tartarus."
>>26423609
*souls. Or sluts. Interpret that burchered spelling as you will.
>>26423609
And then we came back and >>26422483 started.
>>26423506
kek
>>26423102
Not that guy, but you should tell me how many times the enemy nation was populated by nonhumans.
>>26424047
How about when england went to war with american indians? They considered the indians nonhuman
>>26424208
>They considered the indians nonhuman
Not exactly: our ancestors believed in a myth known as "Good savage". Basically, it meant that they believed that indigenous populations had to be EDUCATED by force to the civilized world customs. And this, keep in mind, wasn't just an economic interest, it was a religious ideal: as the more civilized (in their eyes) community, it was their DUTY to lead savages in their righteous path, whether they wanted it or not.
>>26422320
>"Listen men as soon as I blow my whistle we are to rush forward towards the enemy, through the barbed wire, mines, fog, bullets and whatever else awaits."
>"Good luck everyone..."
>>26421720
1950's-60's fort Detrick.
>>26419689
>Celestia declares war
>Make it so your country surrender unconditionally
>Let Equestria annex you
>TFW you surreptitiously overthrew your corrupt government and you're now under Celestia's benevolent rule
>>26423554
Blast wave is not as effective as it would be with the ground.
Also
>teleport the bomb.
>>26424305
"Yes! Finally free of those corrupt politicians!!"
>"Very good, now that I'm your new ruler, let's start with some easy stuff. First of all, you guys are a bit too racist. What's with this weird obsession with 'race'? That's against the magic of friendship! So, from now on, you'll be forced to spend at least 8 hours per day with people with different skin color or religion!"
"...DOWN WITH THE TYRANT!!!!"
>>26424247
If this is considered roleplaying then every green prompt is a fucking internet opera.
>>26419689
oh look its this thread again.
>>26419714
Pretty much this.
>>26422287
No mind that could conceive of reality TV, much less actually watch it, is worthy of being called "superior".
>>26424305
If she supports gun rights, then I'm fine with that.
>>26424976
Ooooor some people have time to waste or different tastes in tv shows? We fucking watch a children's show.
>>26424305
>le monarchies work perfectly!!11!111one
>>26424346
>you are forced to bow to me every time I appear
>>26424990
Doubt she would guns were made for killing she would probably go as far to bans butter knives too.
>>26419689
>Pones have actually been at war with the humans for thousands upon thousands of years
>thing is, ponies suck at war
>like REALLY suck at war
>humans haven't even noticed they are being "attacked"
>the occasional skirmish usually ends with the ponies either passed out from exhaustion or eagerly getting belly rubbed by the human soldiers
>human trade caravans still come and go as they please, completely ignoring the guards protests to not let them through
>last time a diplomat attempted to negotiate for the human's surrender she came back drunk and covered in honey
>Celestia truly believes the pones are winning whilst Luna is usually beating her head against a table at her kinds stupidity
>>26425058
>>26419689
Humanity wipes the floor with them and make great advancements on all fronts initially but stalemate occurs when confronted with Princess powers and logistics issues. In occupied areas there would probably be guerrilla action.
I seriously doubt nukes/bio-weapons will be used and enslavement would never happen but I would bet there would be an occupation, followed by the installment of a loyal government and one-sided trade agreements that exploit the hell out of Equestria's resources.
I like the way Lurkernon wrote it from an anon-soldier perspective in this story http://pastebin.com/Pw1buN8u
Wish he would finish it, I thought it was fucking great.
>>26425058
That sounds adorable.
>she came back drunk and covered in honey
U-unf
>>26424231
You..mother...fucker.
>>26420583
>Ponies overrun humanity and take them as their sex slaves.
Unf
>>26419710
look at this faggot. look at him and laugh
>The answer is so simple!
>just buy my Anti-Magic Field Generator Kit and those ponies won't know what hit them!
>order now and get a FREE, yes you heard me, FREE dongly thing!
>>26425058
>"I think those ponies were attacking us"
"What makes ya say that?"
>"Well they seemed pretty intent on slapping us with their hooves..."
"Pfff-HA! Did one of em hurt ya with their lil marshmallow legs?"
>"What,NO! Im just saying it was weird!"
"Ponies are weird boy, they've always been weird, when a pony STOPS acting weird is the moment you need to think a pony is being weird."
>"So these kinda things just happen?"
"Kid I once saw em shoot a rainbow at General Brodei, and cry when they realized it only stained his armor fukin tie-dye colors. I shit you not, one of em sent apology cakes for like a month!"
>"Sooo, we just let this happen?"
"They can be annoying, but their princesses move the fukin celestial bodies. Just take the hit, pat em on the head for being a super brave cute pony, and be on your way."
>"And everyone's left the better for it?"
"Now your gettin it."
>"Anon! Anon! President Sanders just surrendered to Equestria!" Your friend called out to you
"What? Fuck! Get the bugout bags!"
>Goddamn that cuck for surrendering
>The man who sold the world, because all of Europe was destroyed in a demonstration of Celestia's powet
>Asia, middle east, and Africa were destroyed in fights
>But America still stood, just barely
>He surrendered for a peaceful result
>Enslavement, dumb dirty socialist
>It took all your strength not to cry tears of freedom as you prepped the bags with your friend, Chad
>"Why'd he do it, Anon?" Chad asked
"Better dead than red." you replied
>GODDAMN COMMIES
>REEE
>"Let's get outta here before shit hits the fan, bruh."
"Kay, farn."
>You picked up your AR-15 salt rifle with the baby-seeking bullets and assault scope clipizine
>KAPLOWAWOW
>The front door exploded inwards with an unnecessary onomatopoeia
>The royal guard storms in
>"Oh fuck! Run Anon I'll hold them off!"
"No! You mah nigga, Chad! We do this together!"
>"Brothers in arms."
"And legs."
>"Ecks dee."
>You both get disintegrated before a single round is fired
>>26427000
Seeing as these are the same ponies who get rekt by bugs, I'm calling bullshit.
>>26419689
"You want my precious America?!" Soldier says as Celestia backs away slowly.
>"I-I was only following the rules of Risk! T-The game says so!" She says nervously.
"I will not see my America be ruled by a prissy 'wittle flowers and rainbows' queen!"
>"W-What? Mr. Doe, I--" However, he pulls out his freedom staff, only to slam it across her head.
>And in a moment, she's down.
"That's that! America is safe once again!" Soldier says as he examines the downed pony alicorn.
> He prods her once with the freedom staff, on the flank as he raises a brow under his helmet.
>And he pokes again, but it has that heavy eagle.
>The head of it enters her vagina as she spurs back to consciousness, yelling one thing
>"That's just demeaning!"
"Holy Mary mother of Joseph!" Soldier says, slapping it against her flank in a reaction of fear.
>"Gah, Mr. Doe! Make your mind up!"
"I can't! You're a talking horse with junk!"
>>26427110
>>26423186
>the neutron bomb is a singular thing that only happened once; not a concept that can be built when needed
>Celestia threatens to crash the sun into Earth
>Surrender
>Be Anon, sex slave
>Pretty comfy life, dress like slave Leia
>Sjws and negroes see what real slavery is like, wish they were being oppressed by whitey
>Smile with a sense of smug superiority every night as a royal guard mare holds you down and rides your dick to destress
>>26419689
SuperPower 2, this is what happens.Eat my 420 ballistic rockets, bitch.
>>26427801
Celestia couldn't control our sun, it's not magical.
>>26427828
>implying the pony sun is
so magic exist in some parts of the universe and not others?
>>26427834
Going by the Everfree and how ponies react to it, yes. In fact, ponies get so spooked when there's no magic they'd run screaming when they see it start raining naturally here.
>>26427828
>What is telekinesis spell
>>26427110
Oh, Jane "Soldier" Doe, you're a fucking idiot but that's why I love you.
