>"Bro, I'm not gay. I'm married to a beautiful mare. I just like sucking dick is all."
>>26404578
But how can you enjoy sucking dicks when nothing in equestria actually has genitals?
>>26404604
You lack imagination anon, where we're going we wont need mouths to suck.
>>26404604
>"Bring your dick over here and you'll find out."
>>26404656
no homo
>>26404851
>"It's not gay. It is just a platonic dick sucking. That's all."
>>26404578
Why are your scleras blue, bro?
I mean, I know it's to distinguish your eyes from your coat, but it's still odd.
>>26404578
You like to suck your wife penis?
>>26404578
>"IT'S TRUE, ANON!"
>"SHINY LIKES TO SUCK MY DICK ALL THE TIME!"
>"Shiny isn't gay. He just likes to spend a lot of time with the guards training. He likes to wrestle a lot but he isn't any good at it. He usually just gets pinned for like twenty minutes. Sometimes I think he loses on purpose to make the others feel better."
>>26404578
Nah, bro, you've got it backwards. See, getting your dick sucked ain't gay. Everybody likes gettin' their dick sucked, bro. Suckin' dick though, that's shits gay, tho. 'Cause you got a mouth full of fat cock. If the lights are off, though, you got what they call 'plausible deniability'. If I don't see you suckin' dick, and you don't see who's dick you suckin', nobody knows what actually happened. Maybe some bitch snuck in through the window and sucked my dick, I just don't know. And if someone says you sucked their dick while the lights are out, that'd constitute slander, 'cause they didn't see shit. It's the same bro-code loophole from Chad v. Derek that declared glory holes not gay. If you can get the person who's dick your wantin' to suck to agree to a declaration of 'no homo' before you start suckin', then as long as there ain't no witnesses, legally speaking the act is considered not gay. If someone sees you suckin' dick you might be able to argue the "JUST A PRANK BRO" defense, but that defense usually only holds up if you film the event.
>>26404578
>its just a platonic relationship bro
>>26404578
So OP is Shining Armor?
>>26404578
Oh, hey /fit/.
>>26405322
>"Bro, I'm telling you I'm not gay. Being gay means your attracted to colts. I'm not attracted to colts, I just like sucking their dicks is all. Nothing gay about that."
>not being bisexual
Mares and stallions alike is the way to go. Prove me wrong.
>>26405510
I'm gay for dicks only too, Shiny.
>>26405322
Can't argue with that logic.
>>26405510
Sucking dick IS GAY.
Stop being in denial already.
>>26405510
I didn't teach bro code at Oxford for 20 fuckin' years for some fruity-ass fairy horse to tell me what is and isn't gay you cock-munchin' piece of shit. If you wanna suck dick and kiss your bitch like nothin' happened you gotta go through proper channels.
>>26405554
>"Bro, there are proper channels for sucking dick? You mean I can suck dick on the professional level? If I can suck dick as a career then it means I'm not doing it because I'm gay, right?"
>>26405930
Ugh, your killing me, bro. Take on a stage name, go into gay porn as a gay-for-pay actor or fluffer. You can suck as much dick as you want, and it ain't gay as long as you're doin' it to pay for college. If anyone calls you out on your past history of suckin' dick for leisure, just accuse them off fantasizin' about you suckin' dick and call them gay right back. Most bros won't refute you and risk you digging up their past. Everybody's sucked a dick at least once.
>>26404578
"I never said you were. Would you mind working my balls a little m- Yeah, just like that. You're the best, Shiny."
>>26405316
"Sounds like he needs someone to remind him of the basics of CQC."
>>26404578
As long as you say no homo then it's not gay. Now fuck off.
>>26405510
>colts
>not stallions
Pedophilia is legal in the crystal empire?
>>26407886
It's not a crime if the Prince Consort does it.
>>26405316
>pinned for twenty minutes
>>26407930
That's long enough for 25-30 stallions to have their way with him.
>>26407886
>>26407910
>Shining actually married with cadence to get a lot of colts and fillies with his new prince status
>>26407930
>He just refuses to tap out
>"I'm not that kind of bro," he says
https://derpiboo.ru/949752
It's not gay if you're different species.
>>26410103
Words to live by.
>>26405322
>you might be able to argue the "JUST A PRANK BRO" defense
I want to rub his throbbing, moist cock and fondle those big juicy balls until he cums thick ropes of hot spunk all over the sheets and floor.
>>26404578
Im a magical wizard genie. I'll let you fondle Shining Armor in exchange for your sexual relationships with any other living creatures.
>Accept
>Fuck off
I’m glad that Shining Armor is a total bro letting me breed his ass so I can be ready whenever I get a mare for myself
>>26411127
>"Mmmm good bro keep going that way~"
>"Mares loves when someone going rough so don't be afraid of doing it harder, mares don't have balls so don't mind my balls being slapped by yours~"
>"Most of them don't have such big flanks like mine so don't worry about breaking me~"
>>26406168
this is gold from begging to end holy shit
>>26405930
moarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
>>26411234
>"Oh Anonymous, look at yourself"
>"It almost looks like you're trying to get my husband pregnant"
>"I’m glad that you two are such great friends, why you don't sleep with us tonight?"
>"We can fuck him together so you get an idea of how a married experienced pony does it"
>>26405316
>Clueless cadance and gay shining
GREEN
WHEN
>>26412294
When you make it
>>26412240
them flanks
>>26411928
>*pant* *hahhhh* *phew* *sigh*
>"Nah Cadence, take a chill pill, tho. I'm just being real is all. Boy's cute as hell, I wanted to wrestle him and ride on that dick just now, no homo, you know how it is babe."
>"Anon, I'm glad you'd be comfortable with your feelings as a man like that and all, but uh I hope it didn't feel gay or anything. Just "no homo" and we're cool, right?"
>>26412567
>them flanks
I'd really like to plant my face between them.
>this thread
Muh dong plis stop
>>26404578
>I'm not gay
>I just like sucking dick is all.
Well done. You just described 4chan in one sentence
>>26412574
>"Hey Bro, since you are still without luck, what if next time I use mare clothes?"
>"That way is going to look fine so there is no need to think about it being homo"
>"All for you bro"
>>26412774
I don't like dicks, yet here i am
>>26412818
Holyshit, make it green
>>26412818
But Shiny...I'm all the homo for you.
>>26412876
but you do. you're just in denial
>>26412987
Nope, stop projecting
>>26413017
embrace the dick anon
>>26413087
No
But have this https://derpicdn.net/img/2016/2/7/1082706/large.jpg
>>26405322
As a registered brottorney, I can say that 9/10 the it's just a prank defense will hold up in a court of brostice. One could argue that you were trying to make the victim look homo, hence amplifying your alpha levels.
There was an extreme case 1976 in Thad v. Brad, in which Thad tricked Brad into buttfucking him, but because Brad was the one doing it, it made him look like a faggot for fucking a dude. Photo documentation was taken off the prank, and Thad's Alpha levels for pranking Brad so hard went through the roof.
Brad on the other hand being the victim was not held at fault, as he did not know he was buttfucking a dude. He was acquitted but had to pay the penalty of being out Alphad and was paddled by his fraternity brothers.
If you were to use the just a prank defense, you'd have a solid case if you were to take pictures and simply hoard them for later, in order to maximize the alpha at a later time.
>>26407886
Crystal Empire is like the UK government and it covers up acts of paedophilia committed by politicians and important people
>>26413178
As long as they scream no homo while doing it, it should be fine.
>>26404578
>>26411120
Joke's on you, I'm a kissless virgin
>>26405370
>tfw only gay for zyzz and shining
>both aren't real
Feels gud to be straight
>>26404578
>Bro, I'm not gay. I just like sucking dick is all.
Reminder that faggots are literally saying this to turn more straight dudes gay. Don't fall for the propaganda.
>>26404578
I can't stand people who insist do gay things and insist they're not gay.
Sucking dick as a dude is gay.
You can still be bisexual, since you seem to like pussy enough to marry Candyass, but that doesn't make dicksucking any less gay an act.
Stop lying to yourself and everyone else. It makes me sick. Whatever you are, you ain't straight.
>>26404578
It's gay no matter what you say.
>>26411928
I love you two.
I wanna breed you guys senseless.
No gay stories today?
Shiny is for sexual
No homo
>>26416479
Totally not homo
Shining Armor is a total bro
>Lets you creampie him so you know how it feels
>It’s a total bro cleaning your dick with his mouth after you two finish
>>26417306
>ass to mouth
That's pretty gay.
It's not gay if Shining sucks you dick while you think about a girl. He's just helping you out because of your dry spell and horrible luck with the ladies.
>>26418002
I'm okay with injecting my sperm into the backsides of him and his wife, though
>>26404578
But I'm gay.
>>26418002
You have no idea how fucking badly I would want a friend like that. That would just make it all worthwhile for me.
>>26418528
I do because I want a friend like that.
>>26418528
When I was growing up I had a long-term friend. From kindergarten to highschool. As such, we went through the experimentation phase together.
As little kids, we spent the night at each other's houses all the time. Even when we got older, he would spend the night at my house all the time. So much so, our parents joked that he lived with us. One night, I got an idea based on some truth-or-dare games we;ve played in the past: In the morning, I would wake him up by sucking his dick.
Totally not gay tho.
>>26418615
I'm just saying, I would love to have someone like that in my life. I've just started becoming more confident in myself, but I have yet to get laid. I have been close, but I'm not there just yet. To have a friend who would do that for me just to hold me over would mean the fucking world to me. It wouldn't even matter if it was a guy or a girl. Just getting my dick wet would be incredible.
NO HOMO green when
>>26419424
seconding. I want Shining to suck my dick non sexually.
Not-gay dicksucking is the hottest.
>>26420285
not-gay sex is best fetish.
BROH-MO SEX
>>26420792
No? Okay
>>26421640
Yes. I want Broh-mo sex
>>26407886
Considering that Candyass is the Princess, why is that a surprise?
What if you accidentally make it homo after saying it's no-homo? Is it countered by post no-homoing, or are you officially homofied?
>>26421722
from my understanding no homo nullifies all gayness that occured within a 2 hour period, 1 hour forward and 1 back
unless you really went full faglord you should be okay
I just want to stroke his diamond-hard horsecock and cradle his big, warm horsey ballsack while listening to the cute little whimpers he makes as I constantly bring him to the edge of release
"Hey Shining how are you bro?"
>"Ah dude, I've been awesome."
"Yeah? Me too man, hey listen, you wanna head over to my place and hang out again?"
>"Uh, well, I dunno.."
"Come on man."
>He sighs.
>"A-alight, I guess."
"Hey bro, what's the matter man?"
>"I-i don't wanna talk about it."
>You and him get back to your place.
"Hey man, want a beer, it aught to cheer you up, you seem kinda bummed."
>He shrugs.
>He drinks the beer.
>"H-hey, aren't you gonna have one too?"
"Maybe in a while."
>"Bro, what's going on man?"
>Shining catches you playing with your junk through your pockets
>"Bro you're trying to pop a boner aren't you!?"
"Whoopsies."
>"Bro come on man, that's not cool."
>You sigh.
"Come on man, I had to!"
>He gives you a quizzical look.
"Look man, I'm on a dry spell, I can't get the ladies to even look at me these days."
>"Bro you can't just do this everytime you want sex."
"Why not, come on, you enjoy it too right?"
>"W-well I mean, yeah, but, you know I have my manly pride to consider too."
>>26422223
"Hey man, you know we'll always be bros right?"
>"Yeah, I know."
"And what happens here always stays between us."
>You unbutton your pants pulling them down along with your boxers.
>Your cock is exposed before him.
"So, will you do a bro a solid?"
>He rolls his eyes.
>"Well, I guess since it's my mouth, it's still not technically gay, so.. Sure.."
"Thanks bro, you're the best."
>You feel his soft lips come over your head.
>You almost immediately bite your lower lip.
"Mmm, take me deeper."
>Shining opens his mouth more taking more of your cock inside his mouth.
"Shining, bro, can I ask you to do something else?"
>He's looking up at you.
"Is it ok to ask if you'll lick my balls too?"
>"Bro.."
"I-it's not gay if you're a bro remember?"
>"Well.."
>You feel him go down underneath you.
>"I-i would only do this for you, a-and only cause we're bros!"
"Of course."
>He closes his eyes.
>His tongue runs along the surface of your testicles.
>He keeps licking them.
"Mmm, that's good, now, run your tongue up the shaft."
>His tongue runs the course along your dick all the way to the tip.
"Oh that's good, now take it into your mouth again."
>You feel him slip his lips over your head.
>His suction there.
"Now get the rest of it in there."
>He complies taking the full length of your cock in his mouth again.
"N-now just hold it there."
>Shining holds your cock in his mouth looking up at you.
>You grab the back of his head.
>>26422244
"Ok, I'm gonna use your mouth like a vagina ok?"
>He nods as much as he can with your dick in his mouth.
>You take his head and mouth fuck him as he sits there taking it.
>You shove it in hard forcing him to deepthroat.
>He gags as you shoot cum down the back of his throat.
>Your cock deflates.
>A bit of cum still dribbling out of the tip.
"Can you get that?"
>You say pointing to your dick.
>He swallows whats in his mouth before returning to your dick to cleanup the leftovers.
>He sucks it all up.
>"W-was that good?"
"You were great."
>"T-thanks."
>>26422244
>"Is it ok to ask if you'll lick my balls too?"
IT'S WORKING, SHINING
IT'S WORKING
>>26422254
10/10 would broKinda abusive instead of more consensual
>>26422223
>>26422244
>>26422254
Where to start. First off, a bro who tries to get another bro drunk so that he can nut in his mouth ain't no bro at all. Secondly, there was no verbal "no homo", so the entire act could be considered gay right of the bat. Thirdly, testicular contact is a huge grey area. Derek v. Brandon set the precedent that balls touchin' during anal sex is definitely gay, so one would be wise to avoid it during oral sex. Fourthly, the face-fuckin' is very un-brolike. While face-fuckin' isn't gay, getting face-fucked is. Fagifyin' your bro like that ain't cool. Finally, and this is the big one, the swallowin'. Never, EVER let your bro swallow. Swallowin' is the gayest shit you could do. When you swallow, your body breaks down the jizz into its constituent nutrients and distributes it throughout your cells. That jizz becomes part of you. Your bro has some of you inside of him for the rest of his life. If you make your bro swallow, you might as well put a ring on him and start planning your fuckin' weddin'.
>>26422408
I haven't been able to buy the latest bro to bro contact manual so I had to settle with one made in the 70s. So sorry for any mistakes due to using a horribly outdated one.
BRO
>>26404578
>this is some bomb-ass dick anon
>>26422962
whats the name of the comic again?
>>26423539
Shining wearing Anon's clothes in a no homo way.
>>26424304
here you go anon.
SA all https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdksBRyZluw
>>26424304
unf
>>26404578
I'm gayonly for Braeburn though
>>26411928
>>26414887
>Cadence uses magic to change Shining into a mare so you can impregnate both of them
UNF
Up we go.
This threads is no homo
No Hobump
>>26404578
So climbing the officer ranks in Equestria is the same as in my world, huh?
>>26426882
Kek
Whatever you say OP.
>>26405322
Dick sucking prank (Gone Wrong!) (Gone Sexual) (Almost Shot)
>>26410103
It's only gay if balls are touching.
>>26427874
kek
I want to be Shining's cabin colt while he's on tour.
>>26411085
now THAT'S gay
>>26422408
I like you, AnonNo Homo
>>26424129
Pinkie's Ding Dong or some shit like they. Its a tiarawhy classic
https://derpiboo.ru/934017
Shining is such a bro that he'll even wear a Rarity wig and blow his little step brother just so he can ease those raging little dragon hormones of his. It's not gay if he's helping a little bro out. Family doesn't count as gay.
>>26428867
We can both dress-up so it's not gay. It'll be perfect!
>>26429000
No no, only one can do it, to make it look straight, and remember to say always, no homo
>>26428867
Holy fucking shit I need more of this.
>>26429893
Have fun:
http://pastebin.com/iYuenVP7
>>26430465
>Pastebin
>>26430443
https://derpibooru.org/624159
NO HOMO
>>26431340
ALL OF THE HOMO!
NO
HOMO
>>26432413
No, homo.
>>26430556
the lipstick only raises more questions unless shining is REALLY flexible.
>>26433624
>It hurts, anon.
>>26433662
kek
