>"Oh, hello Anon"
>"I summoned you here for a matter of great importance: I know that you're in love with [INSERT WAIFU OR HUSBANDO HERE]. As ruler of Equestria, tho, is my duty to always look for the best for my citizens, and I'm not completely sure I can trust you. So, here's the catch. Before granting you the royal approval, I ask you to endure a trial: spend one entire month devoid of masturbation or sex. If you fail, I will send you back to earth immediately"
>"Do you think you can do it?"
easy
>>26178273
You monster, You KNOW my wife wants children.
and here you are forcing me to not have sex
on the same day as her heat!
you must hate her, no, your jealous !
>>26178310
>Having a wife
>Unloyal to waifu scum
Vacate the premises.
I havent had sex or masturbated since i got here
>>26178273
What if I don't have a waifu or husbando?
Can I do another test just to go to Equestria?
>>26178315
Waifu = Wife
>disloyal
I think not.
>>26178273
Does night jizzin' count? That's beyond human control.
>>26178273
Shuttup, you're not my mom, Ill do what I want.
>>26178273
One, Luna isn't your citizen, two, alright
>>26178329
>"Sure! LUNA! FETCH ME THE TOWERING DILDO OF LUSTY PAIN!"
>>26178329
>you must eat this barrel of pine cones!
>>26178273
You think that's hard? Just wait until after the month is over.
>>26178273
>mfw I haven't fapped ever since Nocloptober
>mfw my waifu isGojira
>>26178373
I completed nofap 2013. Gets easy after month 3.
>>26178333
Wife is not the same as waifu you stupid fuck.
Seriously I hope you are baiting or really new.
>the next day, all mares in Equestria are sexually atracted to anon and make him feel uncomfortable in public
>Tfw actually on day 10
It's not that bad, till now...manageable.
>>26178422
What is wrong with that dog?
>>26178359
Screw that.
I have hemorrhoids, and no way I am dying out of bleeding from my ass.
>>26178361
>barrel
You are a cunt.
>>26178489
Fine. It's either that or drink the contents of three foam fire extinguishers.
>>26178553
Will I survive the feat or you are just a complete asshole?
>>26178609
You'll survive although it will be extremely painful.
>>26178273
>Day 27
>Looks like Anon might actually last an entire month.
>Luna, Twilight and Cadance second-guesses your decision on giving him a royal title.
>Attempt to sabotage his chances within three days.
If nobody else catches up on this, I'll give it a shot in the morninginb4 swefagif thread's kicking.
>>26178617
Oh, come on...he's a big guy
Nobody summons Anon
>>26178636
For you.
>>26178617
Then I guess I have no choice.
>>26178670
You're going with the pinecones?
>>26178713
I guess.
Can I at least have some water and pulverize them to pass them down?
>>26178735
Yes but only liquid you can have is sterilized foal blood.
>>26178759
Then no thanks, you fucking sicko.
>>26178793
The foals aren't dead, it's magic.
Ill do it on one conditionwaifulight sparkle gets to lock me in a cock cage for the month
>>26178801
May as well tell me to take 6 bottles of ipecac and eat a 5 pound bag of haribo sugar free gummy bears.
>>26178419
You have absolutely no room to call anyone "new", brony. The newfag stench is wafting off of your retarded post.
>>26178842
>do no fap november
>end up with a fetish for this
>last month and a half I've been having solely anal orgasms
help
>>26178851
>A term coined by Otaku and Weeaboo alike for their 2D significant others; predominantly anime and video game characters. A Waifu, in contrast to a harem, is the love between one man and his one and only Waifu. You treat your Waifu with the utmost respect and courtesy and most refuse to even fap to their beloved, seeing the act as an insult to the non-existent woman they have committed themselves to.
>>26178858
I cant help you with a problem I also have, sorry friend.
>>26178843
Alright, if you go through the portal you wake up as the opposite species.
>>26178889
You gotta be more specific than that.
It's really not that hard to not masturbate or have sex for a month. It's not like it's heroin or something. I accept your challenge tall horse.
1 month of no jackin off and I can spend time in Equestria during the month and after? Easy as shit.
Just imagine how built up you would be after 1 month, then you finally take your waifu and slay her asshole like a fucking god.
>>26178904
It has to be a leap of faith. Or the pine cones. Or the extinguishers.
>>26178943
Then the pine cones.
I just hope Twilight can erase that memory from my fucking head afterwards.
I don't dislike blood much anyways, just the implications of what is gonna happen after eating so much pine cones with blood scare me.
>>26178978
A fine choice. I'll see you in a week.
>>26178978
You'd rather eat a barrel of pine cones than not fap for a month? What the fuck?
>>26178998
It's because he doesn't love ponies
>>26178998
I thought the test changed because no waifu/husbando.
It would be super easy to not fap for a month if you don't have a reason to, right.
>>26179024
Oh right.
>not having a waifu
>>26178273
>Plot twist: Celestia goes into heat and nopony comes close within a 150 mille radius except Anon, who's still trucking on no-fap. On his 2nd week.
