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>>25996685
Pineapple Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/meme/
>The sound of Neighponese and shitty music fills your ears
>You can only be in one place…
>Sighing as you know what you’re about to deal with you take a second to enjoy just a little bit more time having unmolested eyes
>Well… you’ve got to talk to him either way, better you he doesn’t go looking for you
>Turning the corner into the familiar living room you’re confronted with a near seizure inducing array of flashing lights coming from the TV, some diamond dog with robotic arms fighting that bat mare
>Nearby Shade sits on the couch, glued to the screen as he leans forward, taking bites out of a bowl of cereal in his lap while he wears some kind of house robe
>He honestly looks max comfy
“Let me get this straight. You stay up all night watching anime, and then you fall asleep… only to watch anime?”
>The bat pony’s ears swivel in your direction, head soon following
>He excitedly addresses you, little flecks of chewed cereal flying out of his mouth as he yaps
>”Gar! Come on in, you’re just in time for the season finale!”
>>26099478
Welp, nothing's getting done for another half hour.
Dream up some comfy pajamas and a hoofheld gaming system to pass the time.
Briefly look at the TV to remind ourselves how much we hate the show before scoffing and returning to our game.
>>26099478
you wouldn't happen to know anything about the stallion we dropped off at the hospital do you?
>>26099478
I see res has loaded the billy cannon
>>26099498
It must be a unicorn full body sleepsuit
>>26099478
Nothing we say or do will seperate Shade from his neighponese shows. So we might as well strap in on the condition that we get some cereal.
>>26099547
I need this
Full body Gar jammies plswith mango pattern
>>26099708Craft pls
>Your eyes flick back to the TV screen, the bat doing some backflips or something
>Why are all the characters in this show just shades of blues and reds? Could the producers not afford other colors or something?
>Pushing that thought out of your mind you look back to the eagerly awaiting Shade, mentally sighing
>Whelp, looks like nothing’s getting done for another hour, because you know that there’s no way in hell that you’ll drag Shade away from his show
>Might as well get comfy
>Trotting around the couch you plop down on it, taking a second to get comfortable
>Hm… you know what else would make this comfy?
>A poof can be heard as you dream up a pair of warm one piece pajamas, complete with a custom mango pattern design
>Stretching, you feel the fabric on all your hoovsies, the soft material tickling them
>Peering back to Shade the bat takes another bite of the cereal, munching away
“Hey, what cereal is that?”
>”It’s Mango Munch!”
>He takes another bite, chewing a bit before going on
>”You wan’ sum?”
“Well, what kind of guest would I be if I rejected such a generous offer?”
>Your host puts his food down, grabbing the box with a wing and holding it out as he pours you a bowl, handing it to you soon afterwards
>As he immediately returns to his show you sniff it a couple times, taking a bite
“Damn this stuff is good”
>”I know right? It has real artificial mangoes!”
>Getting another spoonful you enjoy your late night dream snack
>Although the mango cereal was enough to distract you from the god awful show, as soon as you finish the last bite the terrible electro music fills your ears once more
>Peering over Shade is still totally enamored, practically drooling whenever his way-foo or whatever comes on screen
>Honestly you don’t think he’s blinked in the last ten minutes
>Using your unicorn intellect you swiftly remedy this low point in your life you dream up a hoofheld gaming system
>Crap, looks like it just comes with some racing game…
>Oh well, maybe you can run over stupid bats for bonus points
>Getting to it you race along the streets, trying to stay focused, although some particularly loud or annoying moments cause you to look at the show
>Looks like that freak with the hand instead a hoof if going to jail… again
>Scoffing at this plebian trash, you return to your patrician hoof held entertainment, time ticking away
>”Game over yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!”
“That’s bullshit!”
>You through the game behind you in a fit, pouting
>Freaking game cheated
>”Damn, did you see that Gar?! Can you believe it?!”
>Looking to the TV you find credits rolling, the bat pony next to you absolutely losing his mind
>>26100050
No, I can't believe it at all.
>>26100050
I guess? ask shade the ending to neck suckers.
>>26100050
Yeah what an ending. Hopefully you wont have to wait too long for the next season. :^)
>>26100155
Too bad the studio's doing a series about touching butts next.
“Uh… yeah what an ending. I can’t believe it at all”
>”THEY WHORED OFF MY WAIFU!”
“What?”
>”EEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>Shade becomes a blur as he jumps off the couch, running to the TV
>Grabbing it he furiously shakes it back and forth, screeching as his wings rustle and flap in annoyance behind him
“Sh-shade, calm down! It’s just a show!”
>”How could they do this, how could they ship her with that guard?! I HAVE MORE CHARACTERIZATION IN MY EAR TUFTS THAN HE HAS IN HIS ENTIRE BODY!”
>All you can do is sink back into the couch in fright, peering at the raging bat in silent fear
>”It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”
>Holy hell he’s gone fucking insane
>Nervously looking around you desperately seek a way out of this
>But the sound of Shade galloping out of the room grabs your attention, his tail sweeping around the corner as he disappears
>Hoof steps pepper the stairs, the muffled screams of your friend diffusing from upstairs as he rustles around with something up there
>You remain frozen with terror as he sound of him running back down the stairs becomes obvious
>Turning to look back in the doorway, you can’t even accurately describe what you see
>Shade leaps through the air with his wings extended, launching himself at the TV
>With a sword in his hooves
>”EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”
>Ducking you feel the wind rush over you as he soars over the couch, the sound of glass shattering and metal crunching soon following
>Forcing yourself to look to find Shade hacking away at his now shredded TV set, shrapnel flying this way and that with each chop of the sword
>With another swing a tremendous cracking sound hits your ears, the TV being cleaved in half
>After a moment, the two sides slowly lean forward, falling onto the floor
>Shade merely stands there up on his hind hooves, panting heavily
>>26100545
do you feel better?
>>26100545
"Guess you got c'ucked pretty hard there shade"
>>26100584
I don't think you need to censor cuck anymore, anon.
>>26100545
Can't you just find a new waifu? How about that bitch with the hand?
>>26100545
I know it hurts Shade but maybe you can find a new waifu? You have Floral now after all.
>>26100545
Be sure to call him a cuck, but also tell him that his waifu was a slut anyway and he should go find a better one.
>>26100584
He has a sword, anon.
>>26100647
We could have a sword too, it's a dream afterall.
>>26100545
Hug the bat.
>>26100647
Worst that happens is he stabs us and we wake up rather than have to deal with him weebing out.
>>26100759
>You will never comfort a trembling Shade in your arms
>You will never tell him you can be his waifu for the night
>>26100876
Muh heart
>>26100876
Gar is a superior waifu.
>You continue to sit there, watching as his chest heaves, nostrils flaring with every breath
“… Feeling ok now?”
>”M-maybe…”
“It’s alright Shade, sometimes being cucked is unavoidable”
>He doesn’t respond, staring silently at the wall where he TV formerly was as he heaves
>Standing up you figure that it’s up to you to cheer up your friend
“Hey, come on now, it’s not the end of the world”
>”They took her from me”
“But can’t we just find you a new waifu?”
>”New… waifu…?”
“Yeah, you know, like a different one!”
>He finally drops back down on all four hooves, turning slowly in your direction
>One of his orange eyes twitches
>”You just can’t get a NEW waifu Gar”
“Why? Is it a rule somewhere?”
>”You just CAN’T!”
>The bat’s ears droop, face falling in dismay
>Oh boy. He’s taking it harder than you thought
“Heyyyy, come on. You didn’t need her anyway. What about Floral? You still have her!”
>”3dpd…”
“I’m sorry what?”
>”Nothing. You’re right Gar, maybe I overreacted a little”
>You cast you gaze back to the destroyed television, a couple sparks cracking out of the cut wires
“…Maybe just a little. But hey, I’m here for you and that’s what matters”
>Trotting up closer you wrap your hooves around him, giving the bat a friendly hug
>Unsure at first, Shade eventually places a hoof around you returning it
>”Thanks Gar. It’s just that it hurt so much”
“I know, but it’s time to move on”
>”I mean, why? Why did it have to happen?”
>His voice steadily rises
>”It’s still not fair! They showed no prior affection to each other and… and… and they had to give her to some god damn PINHEAD!”
>You gasp, taking a step back
>Shade stands there with wide eyes, his batana clanging on the floor as he drops it
>In a flash a hoof shoots up to his mouth, eyes still filled with shock
“Shade…”
>”I, I didn’t m-mean…”
>>26101262
Hug the bat. Be the waifu he needs right now.
>>26101262
whale whale whale. look who's hurling derogatory slurs now. time for you to be a unicorn again.
>>26101262
Look very hurt, then hug him again saying you understand he's just angry.
change the topic by asking him about the guy we shot or if the police have started pressuring his operation. He and his boys have been knocking off street dealers behind the scenes for awhile, the police have to have noticed by now. ask if the police have connected our victim to shades spree.
>>26101262
Tear up just a little bit.
>>26101262
"It's okay shade, I can help you through this. You don't have to be a racist you can change!"
>>26101329
Time for guilt!
>That moment when Shade briefly turned into Kylo Ren throwing a shitfit
>He didn’t…
>His face is still one of pure guilt, eyes a mixture of embarrassment and begging for forgiveness
>Holy shit he actually did! This is too good
>”Playing it up you stand there, lips quivering, somehow drawing a tear from your eye
>Gar, I-“
>He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence as you wrap him in another hug, Shade nuzzling into your shoulder
>”I’m sorry…”
“I know. You were just angry. I know you don’t actually think that”
>”It doesn’t make up for what I said”
>Squeezing him a little tighter you develop a shit eating grin unbeknownst to the regretful bat
"It's okay shade, I can help you through this”
>”R-really?”
“You don't have to be a racist, you can change! Maybe being a unicorn for a few hours a day would help you gain some perspective"
>His expression goes neutral, his body backing out of the hug
>”Alright funny guy”
>Shade walks back to the couch, taking a deep breath as he finally calms down
“So uh, on to another topic, how’s the guy I shot?”
>”Well, from what I gathered he’s going to be ok. Still pretty messed up and is going to need a lot of time to heal, but he won’t die”
>A wave of relieve rushes over you
>”But your little stunt now has the police digging a little deeper into our operation, specifically over finding bat Gar”
>>26101911
Good luck, he doesn't exist most of the time and we communicate in dreams that thus far have only been intercepted by a couple angry gypsys.
>>26101911
I've noticed. My boss even asked if I knew him.
I'm not apologizing for not killing a pony.
>>26101911
It'll blow over. They have nothing but a bat that's been spotted stealing mangos and bringing in a shot pony.
>>26101935
>and we communicate in dreams that thus far have only been intercepted by a couple angry gypsys.
...Might want to start being worried about the chance of official intervention.
>>26101988
Hopefully that ability is as rare as Shade claims.
>>26101911
It would be awful if bat Gar were still around, then. Maybe you should lift the curse.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. Even my boss asked me at work, said the cops dropped off some footage since I robbed the store earlier”
>”For real?”
“Yeah. But we shouldn’t really too much about that, right? I mean bat Gar is only around for a few hours a night”
>”You’ve got a point. But still, be careful out there”
“Oh relax, all the police know is that there’s a mango thief who may have shot a pony”
>”…Who looks exactly like you”
“Well good luck convicting me for looking like a bat, there’s no other proof. And the only communication we usually have is talking through dreams which only a couple of crazy gypsies have dropped in on so far”
>”I know Gar, but the police can be sly. Don’t answer anything out of the ordinary, because that might be all they need to suspect”
“Well why don’t we just get rid of bat Gar all together. You know, lift the curse?”
>”No can do Gar. Besides, soon you’ll be rid of your bat form forever”
“Is that so?”
>”I think it’s nearly time, the big shots are getting concerned over what we’re doing. Soon enough, I think we’ll be finishing what I started, and then you’ll be free”
Pausing
>>26102445
Always at the best parts.
>>26102414
"More like I'm gonna get killed..."
>>26102476
Pretty sure Shade weebing out and chopping his TV in half over an anime was the best part
How much time do you think we'll have to wait shade?
>>26103338
The squirrel, such a noble creature
batty bat bat
>>26105622
Batty bat bait
>>26099463
>Batcancer memes CYOA
I hope there's an epilogue at the end.
>>26106813
>Baltimare is in flames
>Shade never got over losing his waifu and commits sudoku
>Ast gets hypnotized by nightlight's ass, becomes a lesbo and leaves Gar for nightlight
>Gar crawls back to his parents house to tell them how much he fucked up and to beg to let him live with them right as his bro comes back from saving Equestria.
I hope that hype is going ok.
>>26107235
>All you had to do was save ONE city and you even managed to mess that up. Your brother managed to save ALL of Equestria AND got a girlfriend
>>26108504
at least we were in the paper once and the picture was popular for awhile?
>tfw you realize Shade's "house robe" was probably a kimono
>>26109581
Goddamn it Shade.
“More like get me killed”
>”Hey, you made it this far. You’ll be fine, I promise”
“And if I’m not?”
>”How would you know? Can’t remember me promising that if you die”
“God damn it Shade I’m being serious”
>”My point still stands, you’ll be fine”
“Well how much longer do you think we’ll have to wait for this to go down?”
>”Not exactly sure, but word about this last guy we knocked off should be reaching them soon. But either way, it won’t be long, trust me”
>You roll your eyes at his reassurance, causing him to give you a tooth grin
>”You think you’d learn to trust me by now”
“All I’ve gotten out of trusting you is a scar on my side”
>”And more wealth than you’ve ever had, don’t forget that”
“Well… ok the money and stuff is kind of cool”
>”I know it is. But you got anything for me before I dream up a new TV and a personally edited Commandeer finale ending?”
>>26109942
Don't think so.
>>26109942
are you going to ask floral to dress like your waifu?
>>26110013
>Floral comes in wearing a bandanna to work
“So, I don’t know if this is too personal, but are you going to make floral dress like your waifu from the show?”
>”N-no”
“I mean I’m not judging bu-“
>”Ok buddy, time for you to leave”
“But-“
>”TIME TO LEAVE”
>You don’t even get the courtesy of leaving through the front door as the bat swiftly picks you up and tosses you through the window, glass shattering everywhere
“AH!”
>Nearly jumping out of your bed, you grab hold of yourself, calming down
>God damn weeb
>Looking over to your clock it’s nearly time to get up
>Figuring that you might as well get the day started to roll out of bed, walking into the hallway
>You still feel a bit groggy, head not feeling all there as you struggle with your post alcohol haze
>Making it to the living room you fins Rocker on the couch laying on his stomach, both hooves clucking the top of his head
>”Ohhh… what happened last night?”
>>26110402
We got really drunk and ate a ton of mangoes.
>>26110402
We had a good time, that's what happened. You ate some more of my mangos man. Let's shower and then eat.
>>26110436
T-together?
>>26110533No homo, right bro?
>>26110533
what do you think?the answer is no.
>>26110402
You got me to hook you up on a date with Nightlight.
>>26110582
no we didn't.
>>26110402
>He's already made Floral dress up like Tara.
>>26110618
He doesn't have to know that. I just want to see how he takes it.
“We had a good time, I’ll tell you that”
>He slowly sits up, groaning a little more as his eyes adjust to the light
>Pausing, he leans his muzzle down to his chest, sniffing a couple times
>”Why do I smell like fruit, dude?”
“We kinda ate a ton of mangoes”
>”Aw seriously? Gross”
“Dude don’t give me that, you totally loved them”
>”Bleh”
>He sticks his tongue out briefly
>”I don’t know why you keep that bat food around here”
“It’s good, but think what you want to”
>Finally getting on his hooves a little uneasily at first, he starts to walk to the bathroom
>”You don’t mind if I shower first do you? My fur it all caked for some reason”
“Must be all that mango juice”
>”Seriously, how much of that did I eat?”
“A shit ton dude, I found you buried in my crate it a coma”
>He nervously scuffs the ground with his hoof
>”W-well… Maybe they weren’t THAT bad”
>He takes a second to lick his snout, eyes glazing over for a second from the taste of dried juice
“See? I knew you’d come round”
>”Yeah, laugh it up Gar. Did we do anything else besides eat fruit and get wasted?”
“Well… sort of”
>”What’s that?”
“I uh, kind of set you up on a date with Nightlight…”
>His cheeks immediately flush pink, ears folding backwards
>”Wh-what?”
>>26110831
gotcha. now go shower
>>26110831
Don't worry about it buddy, a little liquid courage was all you needed to push through, but i believe in you, you can do this.
“Don't worry about it buddy, a little liquid courage was all you needed to push through”
>”A-are you saying that it was ME who asked HER out?”
“Yup! But don’t worry, I know that you can do this!”
>”Gar, I-“
“Now go on and shower, you stink”
>”But-“
“Shower time!”
>You use magic to open the door behind him, giving your friend a gentle push into the bathroom before slamming the door shut
>Guess it’s time to make breakfast
>As the sound of the now turned on shower hits your ears you trot on into the kitchen, searching around for anything edible
>You really got to look into buying some of that Mango Munch…
>After some scouring you sit at your table, idly chomping away at some steamed grains
>It doesn’t taste good, but it’s packed with valuable nutrients that make sure that managers such as yourself have a well-balanced breakfast
>Taking another bite you notice something out of the corner of your eye in the doorway
>The tip of Rocker’s horn slowly pokes around it, followed by the rest of his nervous looking face
>”S-shower’s all yours”
>>26111400
Don't worry, I'm loaning you my horn skub, so you'll look in top shape.
>>26111400
Help yourself to some breakfast. You wanna walk to work with me or do you have places to be?
“Well come on in, help yourself to some breakfast”
>He finally trots on in, taking a seat while sporting a fluffed up coat
“So, you want to walk to work with me or you got places to be?”
>He looks up from his grains, taking a moment to swallow
>”I’ll walk with you, I don’t have to be anywhere”
“Cool”
>Rocker takes another bite of his meal, blehing afterwards
>”Gar, do you maybe mind if I could have a m-mango?”
“Sure, take you pick while I get cleaned up
>Standing up you head off to take a shower
“Oh, and u don’t worry, you can borrow my horn skub”
>”I-I didn’t use any!”
>Laughing at his response you head into your bathroom, the shower head still dripping
>On the counter you spy your jar of skub, the id just barely undone
>Yeah, didn’t use any your plot
>30 minutes later you and your friend trot side by side, making a byline for Ponemart
>Besides awkwardly stuffing some mangoes in his bag before leaving, Rocker’s been surprisingly removed this morning
“Hey buddy, everything ok?”
>”Yeah, it’s just… I don’t know”
“Come on, what’s bothering you?”
>”W-well… did that ba- I mean, Nightlight really want to go out with me?”
>>26111977
How do I trip?
>>26111977
Well, I may have overstated it a little bit.
You tried to ask her out but ended up talking to a dial tone. I'm sure if you actually asked, she'd be more than happy to meet up with you.
>>26111977
No, I pranked you bro.
>>26112030
“I just pranked you bro, haha”
>”Oh…”
>His ear flops down, eye cast towards the sidewalk before going silent
“Uh, well ok I didn’t actually. You did try to ask her out last night while you were wasted”
>He immediately perks back up, eyeing you intently
>”Did… did I really?”
“Actually, I may have overstated it a little bit”
>”How so?”
“You kind of tried to ask her out, but ended up talking to a dial tone”
>”… Did the dial tone say yes?”
>You smirk, Rocker laughing at his own stupid joke
“No, it didn’t want to go on a date with you. But you didn’t really ask Nightlight”
>”I see”
“But on the other hoof, I'm sure if you actually asked, she'd be more than happy to meet up with you”
>”O-oh well, I don’t, ok maybe I… might do that”
>He nervously grins, looking like he’s about to start sweating
“I just have to ask though, why the sudden change in attitude?”
>”Well, you got me thinking last night. If mangoes are that good, maybe I haven’t given certain… ponies a fair chance”
“What do you mean?”
>”I-I mean, maybe all bats aren’t… bad? It couldn’t hurt to have a bat friend. B-BUT JUST ONE!”
>He’s definitely sweating now, fumbling awkwardly with his words
>”A-and you said that Nightlight is a really nice bat, and that she has a lot of mangoes, so I thought maybe I could… talk to her?”
>He gives you the most unsure grin you’ve ever seen, eyes filled with both hope and confusion
>>26112617
you don't want to be her friend just for the mangos right?
>>26112617
You can't just pretend to be her friend for mangoes, you'll have to actually give her a chance, yeah?
Pausing
>>26112617
Yeah thinks get weird when you have more than one bat friend, trust me.
boop
Ever been so desperate that you married someone for mangoes?
beb
Mangoes+ass. What's not to like?
>>26116844
Both extremely edible
>>26115265
>>26116844
>mangomemes
>>26117260
only the dankest
>>26119237
no dot pls
bop
butt bump
“Now Rocker… You just don’t want to be her friend just because of the mangoes, right?”
>”N-no, don’t be ridiculous! Who would do such a thing?”
>The shaky smile he gives you doesn’t look reassuring
“Rocker…”
>”Oh alright, maybe the mangoes are an extra benefit”
“Dude, you just can’t go out with a mare to get to her fruits”
>He gives you another dejected look
“Rocker, you’ve got to make a decision. Do you want to meet her or not?”
>Your friend looks down at the sidewalk for a moment, thinking over your question internally
>”Yes… I think I do”
“And just not for the mangoes? You’ll actually give her as a pony a chance with an open mind?”
>”I will, I promise!”
“Absolutely sure?”
>”I’m sure… b-but just one bat friend, I swear I just want one!”
“I feel you, trust me I feel you. Things get weird when you get more than one”
>”What’s that supposed to mean?”
“N-nothing”
>”Well… you’re kind of good with relationship, so what exactly do I do? I kinda doubt that she’d actually want to give a stallion who stalked her a chance”
>>26121691
So what we're going to do is this.
I'll talk to her and we'll see if we can set up a time where the three of us can all hang out. Then I'll introduce you and stick around while you guys get acquainted.
>>26121691
he's not worried about what the rest of the guys will think or say? because that last one is pretty important. Anyway just apologize to her. tell her that i convinced you to change and then just be yourself. it's that easy.
>>26121691
Nightlight is a sucker for second chances, if you approach her to apologize for scaring her and just tell her the truth about how you were afraid you were losing a friend I'm sure she'll understand.
She's an editor who loves books and you're an archeologist, find common ground in that Daring Do stuff or in telling her about ancient pony stories or whatever.
>>26121691
Apologise, tell her you were watching because she was pretty, then I (Gar) got you to be less of a creeper and approach her like a normal pony.
“Ok, so here’s what we’re going to do”
>He leans expectedly as you both continue to trot
“Nightlight is a total sucker for second chances. I’m sure if you apologize for scarring her, she’ll forgive you”
>”I… don’t think that saying ‘sorry for stalking you repeatedly, are we cool now?’ is very convincing
“Well tell her the truth, tell her that you were afraid that you’d lose me as a friend. I’m sure she’ll understand”
>”Alright then, and after that?”
“Tell her that I convinced you to give some bats a chance, and then all you have to do from there is be yourself”
>”But being myself is why I tried to intimidate her to begin with”
“Ok well be yourself, but cut that part out. Listen, she’s a total book nerd, edits them for a job. You’re an archeologist. I’m sure that you two can find some overlap, maybe talk about Daring Do or something”
>”Dude those old things? They’re like a hundred years old”
“Well she’ll think that they’re classics, ok?”
>”I guess it’s worth a shot”
“That’s the spirit. But before you do any of that, let me just talk to her, ok? Warm her up to you a bit”
>”Gar, you’re the best”
“Thanks man… but I’ve got to know, aren’t you afraid of what the guys will think?”
>”Dude, how are they gonna know, we didn’t even know about you until the news story. Besides, it’s just one bat friend, that’s not TOO degenerate, right?”
>>26122216
It's a slippery slope, my friend.
>>26122216
How about you walking around the city with her and then they spot you? but you should be fine.
>>26122216
Exactly, it'll be fine.
>Rocker convinces all the rally guys that having one bat friend proves they're not racist and they'd be taken more seriously
>They gangbang her every night
>Her unicorn fetish makes her totally okay with it
Skub stock skyrockets
>>26122366
I bet it was Skub Corps plan all along. Sweet, sweet, skub...
>>26122366
>Her plush bat ass is perfect for cushioning their hardest hatefucks
>Her estrus rolls around and all the guys start up a betting pool on who will father her foal
>Eventually the group stops bothering to plan racist rallies and becomes solely dedicated to filling up their broodmare every night
>>26122366
>Implying a pack of feral stallions could even dent that heavenly ass
“It’s a slippery slope my friend…”
>He gives you a terrified look, gulping
>”I’ll, I’ll risk it. But Gar, if you ever find my sleeping upside down one night, please... just end me”
“I will Rocker, I will”
>”I knew I could count on you”
>You to continue onward in solemn silence, realizing the stakes at play
“But, I’m not sure if you have to worry about me ending you if the rest of the guys find out first”
>”I told you I’d be fine, I can hide a little degeneracy”
“What if they see you walking around town with her?”
>”Um, I guess I’ll hit her and act like I was assaulting her?”
“Rocker!”
>”O-okay, I won’t go that far. But I’ll be real careful, ok?”
“Alright. But remember, I’m trusting you with a good friend of mine. Don’t make me regret that”
>”You won’t regret this my friend”
>Finally reaching Ponemart you and Rocker say your goodbyes, promising to chat up Nightlight for him before he goes and trots off down the sidewalk
>Pushing the door open you see Ast and floral idly yapping away at the checkout, both stopping as you come up
>”Well, don’t you look bright today? What are you all happy about?”
>”He’s excited to meet my parents after work, duh! Right dear?”
>>26122732
You got it, hun.
>>26122732
"Absolutely!", while nervously sweating.
>>26122732
She called us 'dear'. That practically makes us married.
>>26122732
Can mares smell fear?
>>26122874
Floral can.
>>26122880
No matter what it is, you can't hide it from that winged temptress
“Absolutely!”
>You give her the most convincing smile you can, all the while the vision of her father throwing you off a balcony plays in your head
>”Gar, are you sweating?”
“N-no? Maybe. Is it hot in here, sure feels hot!”
>You really hope that mares can’t smell fear
>Although the smug look on Floral’s face dashes your hope
>at least Ast just looks more confused than anything
>”O… kay? Well I’m glad that you’re so willing to meet them, a lot of stallions hate visiting parents for whatever reason”
“Can’t imagine why…”
>”Well, here’s what I figure. After work we both go back to our apartments, and get whatever we need. You meet me back at mine afterwards, and we’ll catch the bus out to the country, take us into the town they're in. You ok with that?”
>>26123404
Great, grand, wonderful
What other words can we say?
>>26123404
Sounds good.
>>26123404
Did we bring Rockers cheat sheat to work? We could borrow Florals fort to study it on our breaks.
>>26123472
anon, you're a genius
I was thinking about making a spin-off story based on Floral's ant farm, if it's okay with you, Res?
>>26123779
>Asking permission to make fan content.
“That sounds great to me. Anything in particular I should pack?”
>”Oh I don’t know, some toiletries, money, skub”
“Well, obviously. That’s a must”
>”Other than that, just whatever you want. Honestly shouldn’t need much, we’ll only be gone a night”
“Alrighty then, guess I’ll meet you at your place after work”
>”You better!”
>Wrapping up the conversation your marefriend trots off to go punch in for work, leaving you with Floral
>The pegasus stands up on the tip of her hooves, leaning in a bit as she gives you almost as smug a look as Shade could muster
>You’re starting to regret hooking them up, they’re just teaching eachother bad habits
>”So… what’s on your mind?”
“Uh, hi Floral. Not much”
>”Oh come now, I saw you sweating bullets”
“Ok fine, I’m scared of meeting Ast’s father. But it’s ok, because I’ve got some literature that I can study at work to relate to him!”
>”Aren’t you a smart colt?”
“I’d like to think so, but here’s the thing. I need an out of the way place to read and and get this stuff in my head, and, well, since you have the most secluded property in the store, I was wondering if, maybe… I could duck in there to study?”
>”Hmmm…”
>She looks off for a moment, deep in thought
>”Renting out property for free? I don’t know Gar, you’re my friend and all, but Floral’s clubhouse is an expensive venue. Got anything to offer in exchange?”
>>26123779
You follow you dreams anon, I'm not picky on how people use these characters
>>26123779
What sort of story could you write about a bunch of ants?
>>26123839
I'll wait to post after you're done for the night.
Though, I'd like some feedback now.
>>26123852
As shitty of a name as it is, I'd like to call it Ant-Mane.
>>26123828
you always drag me in there and now I have to pay now that I need to actually use it? want me to buy you a meal at a restaurant?
>>26123828
Remember that time you sold me out for red lobster? Well, if you let me in I'll stop remembering it.
>>26123912
This
>>26123852
"ants"
>>26124051
That fucking spaghetti noodle hoof around the toothpick sword.
>>26124070
>mfw just seeing this for the first time
>>26124070
Blame pinkie pie.
“Woah, hang on. You drag m in there all the time against my will, and now I have to pay for it?”
>”Sorry, but those other times you were invited as a guest. In order to schedule a renting period for official business a fair and equitable transaction must be made”
>She’s joking right?
“Come on Floral, what do you want from me?”
>”Ehhhh, I dunno”
>She innocently sways back and forth, but her ravenous expression remains
>You consider almost buying her a meal, but then you remember something
“Hey, you remember that time a certain pony sold me confidentiality and peace of mind out for a dinner at Red Lobster?”
>”U-uh…”
“Yeah, I thought so. Tell you what, let me rent it out and I’ll forget that it ever happened”
>She raises up a hoof to protest, but pauses, looking away slightly as she mumbles
>Peering back up you can see the slightly annoyed, defeated look in her eyes
>And seeing that in Floral is one of the most precious moments a pony can witness
>”Ok ok, fine. You can use my hide out, but I’m holding you liable for any damages that occur during the lease!”
>>26124427
Let's read!
>>26124427
Done.
Do our work til our break, then get to reading.
>>26124427
What could possibly go wrong?
Pausing here
>>26122216
>Daring Do or something”
>>”Dude those old things? They’re like a hundred years old”
Holy shit.
>>26124576
It's been a long time since I've namefagged, expect content in a bit.
>>26124639
Deepest lore.
>>26124639
reminder that the princesses are dead
>BEEPEEPEEPEEPEEPEEP
>Groggily, your eyes open to the familiar sound.
>Without looking, your hoof hits the OFF button.
>Another day, another shift.
>At least, in about an hour and a half.
>Lazily rolling out of bed, you stretch, grunting as you do so.
>Trotting out of your bedroom, a warmly colored living room greets you.
>The only thing that the salespony said to describe the color was “average”.
>It seems about right, being tan and all.
>Moving towards the bathroom, you look at everything else.
>Or, the other thing that is.
>It’s a couch.
>That’s folds out into a bed!
>It would be useful if you ever had anyone come over.
>Entering the bathroom, you look at your toiletries
>Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Shampoo…
>Everything looks good.
>As you wash yourself down, you sing a tune.
“She’s my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise!”
>As you hum the rest, you think of your love life.
>As much as you’d love a mare for your own, you couldn’t support her.
>Every stallion knows how much mares love cash!
>Maybe.
>Not that you’ve had one.
>After washing off the suds on your fur, you turn the shower off.
>Now for the best part!
>You stand in front of the foggy mirror and dry yourself off.
>When you’re done, you look in the mirror.
>A fluffy brown earth stallion with purple eyes stares back.
Please give some criticism, I haven't done this in about 2 years.
>>26124797
Go on, you'll get your criticism at the end
>>26124797
>Please give some criticism, I haven't done this in about 2 years.
I think dumping this in a pastebin might be a better idea.
>>26124873
This. Just write the whole thing and dump it in a paste then post it here
>>26124873
>>26124895
Good idea
Expect something at some point.
>>26124797
...Uhh, why are you posting a story in the middle of a CYOA?
>>26125065
looking forward to it
>>26125243
Ralls did it with GS. Non-canon stories are fun.
>>26125243
He's putting it in a pastebin instead now. besides, little fan greentexts aren't uncommon in cyoa down time
I imagine Dusk will propose to Floral by ambushing her in an aisle and dragging her inside.
Actually negotiated successfully with Floral bump.
>>26126476
A true miracle
>>26125597
totally work
>>26099463
>Batmemes CYOA
I EAT ASS
Time to get on nightlight's wild ride.
>>26131332
I want to get on Nightlight's wild ass.
Shade's theme song
https://youtu.be/bO-NaEj2dQ0
>>26132123
Reminder that this pone got on Gar's case for spilling spaghetti.
What the hell happened?
>>26132182
At least he hasn't flipped irl yet
>>26132205
>implying he hasn't already asked Floral to dress up like Tara.
>>26132123
How did the weeb Shade thing start anyway?
>>26132219
She basically is a pegasus version of Tara though
>>26132270
He told us a long time ago his favorite show was an anime. Then he came over to watch TV and put on an anime. Then he finally cracked
>>26132314
Oh right, Batu no Pico or whatever.
I would sensually rub the tip of Gar's horn with a block of billiard chalk.
>>26133210
ok buddy, you're going to have to come with us downtown
“Hey come on Floral, what could possibly go wrong?”
>”You could lower my property value, that’s what”
“You don’t eve- you know what, never mind. Thanks for hideout”
>”Well, hope you get some use out of it. Not if you’ll excuse me I have to restock the produce section”
“Yeah, I better get to work too”
>Clocking in, you figure that you can just work until your break, then sneak away do carry out your studies
>While it may not be smiled upon for a manager to slack on the job, your well-being may very well depend upon this. And with how effective your studying abilities were doing school, you’ve got quite the uphill battle
>Your day at Ponemart seems to be progressing smoothly enough, nothing out of the ordinary occurring
>Well, that is if you exclude you almost calling in a suspicious figure report on a cardboard stallion cut out that your boss must have installed this morning
>To be fair, it did look pretty suspicious, standing there against the wall in an attempt to advertise bar supplies
>As the clock ticks away and hits noon you undo your supply belt, placing it in your saddle bags for break
>Time to learn!
>Trotting into the paper towel section you withdraw the stack of papers Rocker gave you, preparing to jump into the shelf with them
>Until a green unicorn walks around the corner that is
>”Hey Gar, time for brea- Oh, what’s all that you got?”
>>26133451
N-nothing.
>>26133451
A dindu nuffin!
“I dindu nuffin!”
>Whizzing around you attempt to move the papers slightly behind you so she can’t read them
>”Uh…. alright then”
>Your marefriend stands there awkwardly, head leaning slightly to the side as she attempts to determine what you’re trying to hide from her gaze
>”Sooo, what exactly do you have there?”
“Oh, it’s n-nothing”
>”Sure looks like something to me”
“It really isn’t you wouldn’t be interested anyway”
>Trying to give her a reassuring smile the look on her face indicates that it’s not as effective as it looks
>”Well, me and Floral are heading out for lunch. You want to come along?”
>>26133927
No thanks. You'll just eat something at the store.
>>26133927
No thanks. I think I'll stick around here and ring up a mango or two for lunch.
“No thanks, I’d rather just get something out of the store”
>”You sure?”
“What good is an employee discount if you don’t use bit. I’ll just grab a couple mangoes”
>”Well if that’s what you want, but I was hoping that you’d come along”
“I get to spend the whole night with you Ast, if you’re forgetting”
>”I guess that’s true… alright, well we’ll be back soon!”
>Waving her goodbye you wait until you hear the bell above the front door ring, the mares out of the way
>Stealthily moving aside the towels you crawl on in, hind hooves pushing off one of the bottom shelves to get up
>Closing the gap you sit down, surveying Floral’s ‘property’
>Looks like she left her bags in here, along with a couple of books and a pile of snacks
>Reaching over you snag a lantern that she left behind, switching it on
>Time to get down to business…
>One training montage later and you sit up, rubbing your eyes a bit
>Studying this crap is tedious, but you think you’ve finally got the rules and team positions down
>Ast’s dad will surely be impressed!
>”So, how goes the desperate ‘trying to impress the in law’s’ studying?”
“F-floral?”
>The pegasus emerges from the shadows of the end of the shelf, red eyes giving you a look over
>”What, so surprised? I thought that I’d just give me tenant a check in”
“Well, as you can see everything’s in order here”
>She swivels her head slowly, looking intently at her domain
>”Good, good… glad I don’t have to evict you”
>Scooting up beside you she nuzzles up her snout under your arm, head popping out to look at your papers
>”Looks like some deep stuff for poor Gar. Anything I can do to help you before you shove off to confront this guy?”
>>26134454
what can you tell me about ast's mom? What does she like? do you know if ast's dad hates anything?
“Well, I’m not sure how much you really know, but can you tell me anything more about Ast’s mom?”
>”Uh, I didn’t really catch too much about her, but she’s a real sweetie, you’ll like her”
“Liking her isn’t really going to save my hide Floral”
>”Don’t get snippy with me, mister. But I do remember when her dad would be giving stallions death stares when they looked over at Ast, she’d tell him to calm down. If you get in a tight spot I’m sure she’ll help bail you out”
>It’s reassuring to at least know that one parent isn’t going to actively throw you out a window
“Alright, well going back to Ast’s dad. Can you think of anything that he hates?”
>”Besides ponies checking out his daughter? Let me think…”
>Floral hums to herself a bit, eyes looking upwards
>”You know, going off of some quick stories he was telling us, I feel like he’s got a real pet peeve against lying. Dude seems like he can see right through a pony, and that’s coming from me. Sorry I couldn’t tell you much though. But hey, I know a dashing stallion like you will do fine!”
“Y-yeah… fine…”
>”Oh don’t feel so hopeless. I’m sure you’ll be in one piece come Monday!”
>With that, she climbs on out of the shelf, leaving you to your work
>Speaking of work, it almost felt as though it wasn’t there, your shift coming to a close before you even know it
>Ast left the store slightly before you did, saying she had to take care of the cat and pack her luggage before you came over
>Finally making your way into your hallway, luggage is the only thing on your mind when you open up the door, shutting it behind you as you trot on in
>Moving into the living room you spy the breezies snacking on a mango, excitedly waving to you
>”Geez Gar, you look pale… well, more pale than usual”
>”Yeah, what gives? You see a ghost?”
>>26134850
Girlfriend's making me visit her parents.
>>26134850
No but we're worried about becoming one. Make sure we don't have the lube or the book in our saddle bag because my paranoia says he's going to look through our stuff.
Bring some bits and our toothbrush and toothpaste. Bring and use skub! Make sure we don't have that paper detailing plays either. We'll be fine if we're as vague as possible with difficult questions.
>>26134850
>can see through lies
What if he's an Apple?
>>26135063
Don't be silly, they don't exist in the future
“No… but I’m worried about becoming one”
>”What’s wrong Gar? You owe a pony money? Because I’ll take care of him for you”
>Stagle jumps up on his hind hooves, adopting a stance as he shadowboxes
“That won’t be necessary. I’m actually visiting my marefriend’s parents”
>”Awww, isn’t that sweet?”
>Stagle looks up to you with a sorrow filled, understanding look that only two guys can share
“Uh, yeah Kessy. Real sweet”
>”Well I hope you impress them. If you need someone to vouch for you just call us!”
“I hope it doesn’t come to me beginning a breezie to vouch for me to my marefriends father. But I’ve got to get packed, so you two just… go back to eating your mango or something”
>Trotting off, you hit up the closet first, withdrawing your suitcase
>Popping it open, you put some travel money inside from your saddle bags, making sure there’s enough for a couple days
>Rummaging through your bags you also make sure it’s clear of anything embarrassing, like lube
>But what you have trouble removing from them the most is the hoofball papers
>You really wish you could take them if you get in a tight spot, but you feel like he’s the kind of pony to snoop through your bags, and you don’t want him finding such a thing
>In the bathroom you get only the esstentials; a toothbrush, and skub
>Well, and skub lite too, just in case you need that quality shine for a casual setting
“Hmmm…”
>Looking through what you’ve packed again, you ponder, thinking if you should grab or do anything else before leaving
>>26135372
We got all the essentials that I can think of. I guess we can bring some mangos to give to asts parents as gifts.
Tell the breezies to give you a hug.
>>26135372
We got absolutely no-where we can hide the gun, huh? Damn
>>26135372
Apologie that we've really been neglecting them and ask if they want us to run out and get them something real fast.
>>26135443
That's okay. The gun we have isn't the same gun we shot the pony with.
>>26135470
I'm more worried about some shit going down.
>>26135477
Like at Ast's parent's house?
>>26135491
Someone's gotta suggest the paranoid option.
>>26135443
Should we bring the gun? you think they'd care?
>>26135568
Don't bring the gun. Especially since it would be illegal.
>>26135568
We don't need the gun.
>You entertain thoughts of brining your gun for a quick second, considering how you’re probably wanted dead by several gangs by now
>But then you imagine the consequences you would face if the gun didn’t sit well with Ast’s dad, and any drug gang’s torture immediately seems like the merciful option
>But maybe you could bring something for her parents to get on their good side right off the bat?
>Digging through your fruit crate you fish out the biggest, ripest, freshest mangoes that you can find
>Oh man, they’ve GOT to love these babies!
>Tucking them snugly into your bag, you call out to the breezies
“Alright you two, I’m heading out”
>”Aw…”
“Well come here, give Gar a hug!”
>They both buzz up as quickly as they can, hitting you at high velocity in the chest tuft as they nuzzle into you
>”Gar, why do you always have to leave?”
“Look guys, I just lead a … hectic life. Trust me, I’d love to stay around here, but sometimes things come up”
>Their little ears flop down in dismay
“I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to neglect you guys, I promise”
>”We know Gar, you’re a bust pony…”
“But maybe I can make it up to you? You guys want me to run out real quick and get you something?”
>The breezies peer to each other quickly, adopting an innocent look
>”Well… we were watching TV earlier, a-and there’s a new Brickos set out”
>”Yeah! It’s a battleship with real Bricko firing canons!”
>>26135903
Our life only became this hectic recently.
If we can get it quickly then let's get it. If not then let's say that we'll come back with it if it's not too expensive.
at least they have their old brickos and chariot.
>>26135903
Fuck it, we just got a ton of cash from that last job with Shade.
If it's not too much, we could grab it.
>>26135903
I would ask how much but we're doing very well on the bits side of things. Consider it done! Then let them come with us to get some fresh air.
Would Ast's like to see all those gems we got? her butt mark does have to do with them after all
>>26135903
alright, lets get it.
Lets also remember to call Hype tomorrow and make sure he's set up something with Raven before she sleep harasses us again.
>Damn, that sounds kind of expensive
“And you’re sure that’s what you really want?”
>”Oh yes, you should have seen the commercial! We NEED it!”
>They peer up to you with hopeful eyes, huge grins plastered across their faces
>Well, you have been raking in plenty of bits from Shade’s excursions. You still haven’t counted the haul from last night, but you know that you at least got a few thousand in just straight cash
>Sighing, you roll your eyes playfully
“Alright, consider it done!”
>”Really?!”
“Yes really. And come on, hop inside my saddle bags. You two deserve some fresh air too”
>They buzz off of your chest, squeezing and excitedly chatting as you walk out the door before diving into the bags at your sides
>Good thing there’s a place with a decent enough toy department not too far from your home, them should have it in stock
>Not long later you’re walking into the store, the pony at the counter calling over to you
>”Hey there son, need any help looking for something?”
“Sure do, you got any Bricko sets?”
>”Aisle 7 in the back”
“Cool, I’ll give it a look”
>Trotting on back you can feel them fidgeting in excitement in your bag, even catching the faintest giggles between hooves steps
>Let’s see… battleship….battleship…
>”Oh Gar! There it is!”
>Looking down you see their little head poking out from the flap, hoof pointing to a shelf
>Oh there it i-
“100 bits?!”
>”Gar please, it’s like 2 feet long, and the canons work!”
>”Yeah, we wont ask you for anything else ever again, promise!”
>>26136753
I'm pretty sure that's what you said about the chariot.
Nope, if you want this, you're gonna have to do something for me in return, so let's hear what you got.
>>26136753
aren't you guys leaving like next week? We don't need or want this.
>>26136753
How about the normal battleship that costs less than half as much?
You guys already can make cannons with toothpicks and rubber bands, why do you need a special thing that costs a whole bunch extra?
>>26136753
You better take this home with you.
“I’m pretty sure that’s what you said about the chariot”
>”But I thought you said this was a gift for always leaving us behind?”
>Well, she’s got you there
“Well, I did say that I would get you a gift, but this is pretty expensive”
>”We know, but… it’s really cool”
“Well how about this one?”
>You point to a set right below it
“This looks like a fine battleship, and it’s half the cost”
>”But it doesn’t have all the cool features”
“But do you really need the set with all the special accessories? Why, you could make the canons work on this one with toothpicks and rubber bands, I’ve seen you do it before”
>”I mean, I guess we could...”
“I don’t see why you’d want this anyway though. You guys have got to go home next week, and I can’t use it”
>”Well, w-we thought maybe… you could hold onto it for us? A-and maybe when we come back, we would visit the apartment and play with you…”
Pausing
>Pausing
>>26137150
They're being so precious lately. Fine. Let's get it.
>>26137150
buy it for them and then surprise them every summer with a new bricko set.
>>26138020
>Soon our apartment is nothing but brickos
Battleships are pretty kick ass, at least they didn't want some faggy aircraft carrier
>>26140203
CAs are where it's at, honestly.
They don't even know about my Des Moines.
bump from 10
fast board
>>26140235
CA a shit
>>26141874
Say that to my AA rating of 88 that can be doubled at the push of a button.
And my 9 207 mm guns that each fire 10 rounds a minute
Arsenal ships > Battleships > Carriers
>>26142022
Cruisers> everything
>>26142164
wew
Reminder that Shade accidentally taught Floral how to invade dreams.
>>26142738
think she'll jerk us off with her feather again?
>>26142738
pretty sure that was just a one time occurrence.
>>26143557
>implying she didn't trade Shade dream walking magic for dressing up like Tara
board is getting raided by /b/
hop
>They think they can just emotionally manipulate you?
>Well, they were right
>Giving them a soft smile you watch their expressions turn to excitement, knowing the you’ve given in
“Alright, we can get the one you wanted”
>”Woohoo!”
>”Thanks Gar!”
“Alright, alright settle down. Don’t want ponies spotting you”
>As you pull the Brickos set off of the toy rack the tuck back down into your bag, still excitedly babbling away
>Carrying to the checkout you reluctantly fork over the 100 bits, the sales pony rubbing his hooves together as you walk away
>Reaching the apartment in short time to place the set on the coffee table, Kessy and Stagle flying out of your bag and immediately landing on it, oogling at the box art
>”Oh wow! Look at the canons on this thing!”
>”Dang, it even has the little winches to lower life boat!”
>”We’ll rule the waves with this baby!”
>You smirk at their sperging, waiting for them to finish, both managing to pull themselves away from the box for a moment
>”Gar, we just want you to know that we love you”
>”Yeah, and have fun on your trip, we’ll keep the place in tip top shape!”
>>26145727
You'd better, cause I'm keeping the receipt.
>>26145727
That's captain Gar to you. We'll be back as soon as we can.
and we love you too.
How will the Breezies get it out of the box?
>>26145992
Individual brickos are light. They have to put it together.
>>26146005
One day the breezies are going to wall us off in our own home with brikos like in the cask of amontillado.
>>26146060
>Gar, we've got some mangoes in the basement we'd like you to try, knowing that you're an expert and all
This thread got dark kinda fast.
>>26146105
>urban
>dark
>>26146174
>ribbit
>>26146105
>>26146222
>cask of the garrito
kek
“That’s captain Gar to you. And you better, because I’m keeping the receipt”
>”Trust us, you won’t regret this!”
“I’m sure I won’t Stagle. But you two need anything else before I leave?”
>”Hmmm… nah, I think we’re fine”
>”This battleship is all we’ll ever need anyway”
“Alrighty then. You two stay out of trouble, I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully”
>With that you shut and lock the door, the breezies dashing to open their new present as you do
>Heading down the city streets with your suitcase at your side you try to speed along, the trip to the store cut into your time
>At this rate it might be dark by the time you get to her parent’s house
>Aside from the usual bat pony street corner protest, nothing much got in your way
>At least fewer of them are asking for your autograph recently. Although that stupid picture of you and Nightlight is still all over their signs
>Making your way onto Ast’s street and trotting along at an appreciable pace to her apartment you knock on the door, the sounds of hoof steps inside
>Soon, she opens up
>”Gar! I’ve been waiting for you mister, get your flank inside!”
>Best not provoke the lady
>The door is shut behind you as your tiny tail clears it, Ast walking in after you as you make for the living room
>”You all packed and ready to go? Sure you’ve got everything?”
>>26146358
Think so. Let's go.
>>26146358
Got everything I thought I needed.
Ast's dad is going to be pissed by our lack of punctuality.
>>26146644
Apparently he's the Meet the Parents dad, so all we have to do is be honest, right?
>>26146654
>I appreciate your honest. Now I'll have a slight regret killing you
“Got everything that I thought I needed. Now come on, let’s get going”
>”Woah, hold up there!”
“What?”
>”I have to go get a shower”
“Wh-what? You’re asking me if I’m ready to go and you aren’t?”
>”Yes?”
>Ok, at least if Ast’s dad has a problem with you showing up late you can pawn it off on her
“Well, alright I guess. I’ll wait here”
>Plopping onto the couch you place your bags down
>”Alrighty, be out soon, promise!”
>Yeah right, mares always take forever in the bathroom
>Kicking back and placing your hind hooves on the small coffee table, you get comfy, the sound of water running hits your ears, the rip of the shower curtain being pulled back soon following
>Guess you have time to rest a little, god knows she’ll be doing her mane for half an hour
>The room progressively becomes darker, your eyelid’s falling
>…
>”Eeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….”
>You crack open your eyes
“Wh-what the fuck?”
>Looking down a very pissed cat stands on your extended legs, tail puffed up and back arched
>>26146863
M-Morry?
>>26146863
Good thing we can just levitate it into another room and then shut the door.
“M-morry?”
>The cat merely responds with another hiss, its soft paw pressing onto your leg as he takes another step
“Morry, come on now. It’s me, Gar. Ast likes me, so you should like me”
>A low growl is your response, malice in his slit eyes
>Ok, no big deal. You can just do what you did last time and levitate him into another room
>Lighting up your horn the cat is encompassed in a blue glow
>And promptly sinks his claws into your leg
“SON OF A BITCH!”
>Jumping up you buck and kick, desperately trying to detach the feline from your leg
>But his claws hold fast, cat firmly tucked into place with all paws sticking into you
“Ow ow ow ooooow”!
>As you jump around like a wounded animal you have the urge to buck him in the face
>But you know that Ast would fucking kill you
>Leaping again in pain in an attempt to shake him off you accidentally run into a potted plant, falling face first into the ground
>The cat goes skittering off into the kitchen, leaving you behind
“Ohhh….”
>As you lay there you look back at your legs, neat little red dots showing through the fur, a couple drops of blood leaking out
>Dumbass cat
>Just then the bathroom door opens, steam puffing out of it
>”G-gar? Is everything ok out here?”
