>"Hey Anon, you want to lick my asshole?"
>>25972379
No this is Patrick.
Dad pls get off /mlp/
>>25972379
"why would you ask such a thing?"
>Anon is continually asked to eat ass, not knowing it's a common greeting ritual
>>25972379
Duh!
>>25972379
Am I on Candid Camera?
>>25972379
Only if you sit on my face
>this is a horse
>is is the same colour as excretion
>this horse is the reason your anal cavity will not be defiled by a tongue
>>25972394
theyre not dogs.
>>25972379
lol no
>>25972379
we can take turns.
you go first.
>>25972379
"Must we have this conversation again, Sunbutt?"
>>25972379
Yes.
>>25972379
"Sex with you has become dry."
>Celestia cocks an eyebrow
>"I'm only asking you to like my asshole, Anon. It's not really sex."
>You lock your knees in place and squat as low to the ground as you can without shifting your feet.
>Your squat is impressive, putting your ass just inches off of the ground
>Your quads are on fire and you relish the pain
"Lick this, m'lady."
>Your pants shred length wise
>Seamlessly, the leggings falls away revealing the tail of a trench coat
>Veins throb at your temples
>Your eyes bulge
>A bizarre mixture of trap music and Coltraine echoes through the mountains and valleys of Equestria
>Your fedora is summoned, soaring majesctially through a stained glass window and perching atop your head
>A musky fart propels you - slow and stuttering - from the ground
>You soar through the ceiling and into the horizon
>>25972589
>like
>like
>like my asshole, Anon
>You return to taunt her for your own mistake
>The fart evolves
>You paint the Canterlot courtyards in your ire
"You make me feel so young~"
>You hum the rest of the song as you pack away your things and tidy up the garage again.
>Before you leave, you slip the big red box containing your special project back into its hiding place.
"It will be ready tomorrow..."
>Happily, you continue humming and exit your garage.
>Outside, Twilight Sparkle is at your front door, about to knock.
>She looks over at you exiting the garage, "Oh! Hey Anon. I just was out and thought it had been a while since I visited."
>You nod slowly, your mind working.
"Yeah. It has. How about we go grab lunch?"
>"Uh... Okay, can I use your bathroom first, I'm sorry..."
>It's in the garage.
>It's hidden.
>She'll find it.
>And she won't understand.
"Sorry, that's actually why I was in the garage. Toilet is broken, was looking for pieces to fix it."
>Twilight looks worried, "Okay. Can we hurry to lunch then, please?"
>Really didn't want to leave your house today.
>But you can get supplies while you're out.
>After making sure your house is secure, the two of you head to lunch.
>>25972630
>Lunch was exceedingly infuriating.
>Twilight always came at the worst time.
>You had plans.
>They didn't include going out.
>But you made it through the ordeal and even gathered some things you would need tomorrow.
>Now back in your house, the first thing you do is set your things on the kitchen table.
>You go to your room and light all six candles as usual.
>After putting on the record player, you get undressed and slip on your silk robe.
"Soooomewheeeeerre ooooover the rainbooooow~"
>With excitement, you return to the kitchen.
>You remove the supplies from the back on the table and open the fridge.
"Fish!"
>Two fish skins go inside.
>Didn't even have to clean them.
"Young love!"
>This was actually a picture you picked up in an antique store of a younger Celestia.
>It goes on the door of the fridge.
>And then there's the grand prize.
"Mmm."
>You take a whiff of the white box.
>Its pungent smell makes your nose tickle.
>It would have been easier to collect this from Twilight if she had done it here.
>But she must not see it.
>And you got it anyways.
>You close the fridge after placing the box inside and head to your bedroom.
>>25972814
>>You take a whiff of the white box.
>>Its pungent smell makes your nose tickle.
>>It would have been easier to collect this from Twilight if she had done it here.
Is Anon about to eat pony shit?
>>25972843
>Is Anon about to eat pony shit?
That, or a powdered donut...
>>25972814
>Day 4.
>I've been keeping tabs on Anonymous for four days now.
>It seems so much shorter than that.
>Probably because of how irritatingly interesting it has been.
>He leaves his house only once a day.
>He never converses with any ponies unless they come to him.
>He never has any lights on.
>He never lets any pony inside the house.
>What is he doing in there?
>He went out to lunch with me today.
>I was nervous, so I couldn't really ask him any direct questions.
>What is he doing in there?
>As I sit outside his house now, I can here the sound of music.
>It's an eerie sound when coupled with his laughter.
>What is he doing in there?
>>25972876
Probably powdered ponut.
>>25972411
You keep posting this.
>>25972927
"WELL YOU TELL RARITY THAT I WON'T PAY HER ANYTHING IF THE GARMENTS AREN'T SILK!"
>You slam the phone down in a rage.
>That whore Rarity must be the pony equivalent of a Jew.
>Irritated, you tap your fingers on the table and take a sip of your morning milk.
>Room-temperature, just how you like it.
>If Rarity didn't come through with this, you would have to postpone your celebration.
>And-
"This. Will. Not. Do."
>You get up and go your room to put on clothes.
>It's time you payed Rarity a visit.
>After getting dressed, you get the fish skins out of the fridge to prepare.
>With clothes pins, you hang the skins up in the window to let the sun hit them.
>Her sun.
>Humming a tune, you leave the house after locking all five locks on your door.
>>25972927
>>25972814
>>25972630
Goddamnit, Celly just asked for a rimjob and then we get this shit?
>>25972379
sure
>>25973046
>Day 5
>Anon has just left his house.
>This is the day.
>Today, I enter his house.
>Making sure he's completely gone, I gallop to the front door.
>He was fiddling with something on the door before he left.
>It's odd because there's no lock on the door.
>There's not even a door knob...
>I push open the door and hold my breath.
>This isn't breaking and entering.
>This is me helping a friend.
>It's not because I'm nosey...
>The door swings in slowly, making an ominous creak the whole way.
>Inside is completely dark.
>It's a cloudy day with no sun, so the inside of the house (with it's covered windows) is particularly dark.
>I light my horn and enter.
Rather hit your sunspot
>>25973125
>Day 5 (continued)
>This house is completely empty.
>Well, at least the living room is.
>save for bits of trash, the room is bare.
>Straight ahead, I can make out the kitchen table and fridge.
>It smells.
>I can't place the smell, but it smells wrong.
>Feeling a bit nervous now, I walk to the kitchen.
>The only thing in here is the table with an empty glass on it and the fridge with an old picture of Celestia on it.
>Where is all of his stuff?
>I open the fridge.
>The smell that comes out makes me gag.
"Found out where it's coming from..."
>There is no light in the fridge.
>It's not plugged in.
>Inside, only a long-since expired jug of milk, a whole onion and a white box.
>I don't even want to know what's in the box...
>Having enough, I close the fridge.
>What is going on here?
>I have to see his bedroom.
>>25973218
"Rarity, I'm visiting Celestia today and you TOLD ME the garments I ordered would be ready!"
>Rarity looks lost, "Anon... I told you, you haven't EVER placed an order with me."
"I SPOKE WITH YOU ON THE PHONE THREE DAYS AGO! I TOLD YOU EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES!"
>Anon, I said that you never-"
"RARITY! We spoke. On. The phone."
>Rarity swallows, looking scared now.
>"Anon... Please. You're scaring me. I have no idea what a phone is, darling."
>You groan.
"Fine. You know what? I don't need your stupid silk garments anyway. How about I just buy something you've already made?"
>Rarity brightens, "Yes! What are you looking for?"
>What you ordered.
>That's what you're looking for.
"What do you have for bras and panties?"
>Rarity looks confused again, "Er, come again?"
>You sigh.
"Bras. And. Panties."
>"Anon, I have no idea what those are."
>Before you are forced to strangle Rarity, you leave and slam her door.
>You can still do this without the garments.
>>25973459
the fuck
>>25972379
yes
>>25973459
The lack of locks, even though Anon's POV says he has five...
Rarity not knowing what a phone is, while Anon insists he called her...
Guys, this Anon's fucking insane.Let's see where this ends up.
>>25972379
"Celly, are you drunk again?"
>>25973459
>Day 5 (continued)
>This silence is getting to me.
>I feel like at any moment, Anon will jump out from thr shadows at me.
>In the hall, there are several pictures of Celestia on the walls.
>Maybe he has a crush?
>He's never even mentioned her...
>There's two doors ahead.
>One must lead to the garage.
>I enter the other one.
>Unlike the rest of the house, Anon's bedroom is very decorated.
>I can't make it all out, but there are candles.
>Using magic, I light them all.
>My breath catches.
>The walls are almost entirely covered in pictures.
>Pictures of Celestia.
>All taken by Anon.
>All taken candidly.
>Most from the bushes.
>Most of Celestia's privates.
>I shiver.
>Something appears in my peripheral vision.
>I turn and jump.
>A shape towers over me in the dim light.
>A scream catches in my throat.
>Then I realize it's inanimate.
>But the fact that it's inanimate makes it worse.
>With a knot in my stomach, I examine the thing.
>Upon closer inspection, I see what the 'thing' is made of.
>Holding back my bile, I run from Anon's house.
>I've seen enough.
>Outside, I puke in the bushes.
>I have to get help.
>Anon needs help...
>>25973612
is it a full scale sex doll of celestia made out of her used tampons by any chance
>>25973781
>tampons
Ponies don't have periods.
>>25973805
magik
>>25973612
>It feels so disappointing returning home without the garments, but you can make do.
>Once back, you unlock your front door and step inside.
>The fire is still roaring in the fireplace, just the way you left it.
>You take off your coat and drape it over the leather couch.
"Fuck Rarity."
>You head to the kitchen and remove the box from the fridge.
>It's time.
>You finished your project this morning.
>Humming, you take the fish skins from the window.
>The sun was really bright today, so they dried nicely.
"Great smell."
>You take your supplies to the room.
>Celestia greets you from her usual spot.
"Hello my dear. I'm back. You'll never believe what that bitch Rarity did."
>Celestia smiles her usual smile as you head to the garage, speaking up so she can hear.
"I swear she doesn't have a brain in that pretty little head of hers!"
>You grab the box and head back to your room.
>Celestia is now frowning.
"No! I didn't mean that she was pretty! It's j-just a figure of speech, babe!"
>She pouts.
"I'm sorry, Celly. It won't happen again."
>Now you're ready.
>You light the candles and put on a record.
"Celly, tonight's the night we've been waiting for."
>You open the box and pull out the prize.
>It's an insert you built yourself.
"It looks perfect."
>Celestia smiles.
"And here's the kicker."
>You insert the fish skins into place.
>Opening the white box, you dip your fingers in and scoop out some of Twilight's essence.
>It's a shame it had to be from Twilight.
>You insert some into the proper place of your new toy.
"Ready?"
>With shaking hands, you slide the insert into Celestia.
>Now she's really real.
>Your own personal Celestia.
>Complete.
>The Anus/vagina insert look just like the ones in the pictures on your wall.
>You strip down with a smile.
"You said you wanted a rim job, and I said I'd make it happen."
>You get on your knees behind your lover and grip her plump rear.
"I always keep my promises."
>>25973922
>whyboner.png
>>25973922
So that's where you were going with this Edward Gein bullshit?
>>25973922
>Day 5 (End)
>I can't do it.
>I can't tell anyone what I have seen.
>That Anon has a life-size Celestia doll in his room made of real fur and flesh.
>I just want to know where he got the fur and flesh.
>The sewn-together flesh...
>I sit behind his house.
>From inside, I can hear the sound of that creepy music and Anon's laughter.
>I can't tell anyone.
>Because I feel sorry for the lone Human in Equestria.
>And honestly, he's not hurting anyone.
>I think.
>It sounds like he's enjoying himself.
>Poor Anon.
...
>I say that, but from here it seems as though Anonymous is the most happy being in Equestria.
>So I'll end my study here.
>Maybe it's better that way.
>Maybe it's better no one else knows the story of Anonymous and his beloved 'wife'.
>>25972394
Fucking this.
>>25973922
>pic related
>>25972379
bump
>>25972379
Yes, I want to bury my face so deep between your perfectly white buns I disappear entirely within dat plot
>>25972379
Celestia a nasty bitch tho
>>25974174
10/10
>>25974174
Legitimately creepy and sad. Good work.
>>25972379
All those Anons not willing to rim Sunbutt...
>>25972379
>"Not if he rims me first, bitch!!"
>>25974174
That was amazing.
>>25974174
So that's what he was building in there. I'm never going to be able to listen to Tom Waits the same ever again
>>25972506
Twilight is best pony nignog
>>25974174
Anon in this story is one of these guys from Always Sunny.
https://youtu.be/0SIfBtYevwc
>>25972379
I mean yeah I guess but why would you ask that?
>>25972394
This!!!
>Anon thinks is sexual harassment
