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>>25949066
Tripfags in Battle-Horse Equestria.
keeing my question form last thread in line
1) Any recent ish chrysalis stories? One was promised for christmas but nothing came of it I believe and I want to read some love bug.
2) It appears that the story I wanted was here
http://pastebin.com/u/jffry890
But it appears most of the parts are hidden/gone, anyone got links to them?
>>25949185
Yes
Yeeeah baby, work that grill.
So, what have i missed since thread 1,089?
>>25949331
>since thread 1,089?
>posting in thread 1083
>>25949353
Shit, thread 1,079 then
>>25949374
I haven't been around much, but the active list is your friend.It might be a good idea to have the active list full of the past month, rather than two weeks.
>>25949403
I just want a TL;DR
I have too many threads on the backlog
B O H I C A
O
H
I
C
A
>>25949429
Look at this
She will never sneak under the covers while you sleep and suck you off while she rubs her crotchboobs all over your face.
Life is suffering.
>>25949648
Sounds like fun.
>>25949648
>you will nevertwist her teats
>>25949374
I typed a thing.
>>25949185https://www.fimfiction.net/story/246649/hunger-pains
I wrote one a while ago (last year near Christmas). Don't know if it's the one you're looking for.
Happy new Years fags!
>>25951562
No.
Celebrate the new year with ponies!
>>25949648
Crotchboobjob.
>>25889355
>Aether
Spin the Bottle any good (http://pastebin.com/rvBHC9PV)? Just downloaded & combined the pastes, and it's quite lengthy (think my word processor said about 50k).
Hello nor/mlp/eople, what does the inside of the changeling hive smells like? Rotten? Acidic? Sweet and alluring?
>>25953346
Depends on the hive.
>>25951408
finish it please
crossposting weird foreign muck
>Be Anon, out of the hospital now
>The girls invited you back to the spa to celebrate that
>So who haven't you fucked yet?
>There's those spa attendants, you haven't stuck your dick in them yet.
>Right, it's decided.
>You slip away from the group and head to the weird vibrating gelatin bed thing that's all the rage with the hip kids
>"Zer bed ist ready, please to be lieing down on your back."
>She puts the goggles on you and the bed begins to violently shake
>VRRRRRRRRRRRM
>"IS GOOD, YA?!" she shouts over the loud motors of the bed
"The only thing that could make it better is one of those happy endings the girls told me you do"
>"Very well, I get ze schnitzel-case then."
>After a few minutes you feel something slide over your penis
>Then she fucks you and rubs the gooey leftovers of your fornication on your face
>"Is best way for healthy skins, like mamma used to give when was back in old country."
>"Is why sister and I look so nice."
>>25948191
Do more.
U guys dead yet?
Haven't been here in months
>>25954127
Only slightly dead.
>>25954127
Keep trying.
>>25954149
Any oldfags still left in here?
>>25954179
anonpencil
bolding
mandroid
>rope
gatorbait
imperious still shitposts from time to time
cyoa's probably still around somewhere
maybe more?
>>25954179
Lurkin intermittently. Comment about stories sometimes. Waiting for that day where I get bored enough to write.
>>25954179
>>25954207
Stop reminding me of the game I'm not playing you noddler.
>>25953346
French fries
>>25953346
It smells rotten because
>>25954213
Sorry m8, not me. Don't worry though, you'd know from the first pic if it mattered.
>>25954300
Wasn't saying that was you, was saying I'm still around.
>>25954268
>Chrysalis's hobby is disguising herself as Twilight and farting.
>Anon can tell them apart simpily because the real Twilight has become so neurotic about the accusations of farting that she removed her own intestines so as to be unable to fart.
>He's seriously concerned for her health.
>>25954397
Have you ever written anything serious.
>>25954516
I honestly don't know.
Serious is hard.
>>25954516
>>25954549
When you write comedy, its lacking of hard continuity. Hilarity needs less source and explanation, and things can be scrubbed the next story. Serious stories have things happen for reasons. They have characters that need to be treated as having consistent memories that will effect what they do. They generally have some goal in mind and are supposed to reach it, or if diverted, justify their current actions.
Serious locks you down, and some people don't like the upkeep.
>>25954179
I'm an old?writefag that lurks now, if that counts.
>>25954397
Headcannon accepted.
>>25954179
I've been around long enough to be an oldfag I guess. I post thread bumpers on occasion.
>>25953346
Well, you'd have to ask several other questions.
What do they do in their daily lives?
Do they use pheromones? If so, when do they use it and how often?
How sophisticated is their city? What do they do for sanitation?
Where do they prefer to put their hives? Humidity and temperature matter.
To answer your question as a comparison to regular ants, a smell along the lines of rotten coconut, blue cheese, formic acid, and harsh citrus would be appropriate.
In other words, I would assume they would have a penetrating and pungent odor.
But the above questions may change that, and would add flavor to any description you may decide to present them with.
>>25954187
Oh yay, I'm an oldfag now.
...o-old huh...
...t-time to drink.
>>25955694
Alcohol is a preservative after all.
Age is relative.
You're only as old as the person you feel.
>>25955777
and that is why Rainbow Dash fondles kids.
>>25955777
Hm, so you're saying if I go find a 10 year old to feel...
>>25954179
I'd never leave you, Anon.
Hey guys. Just thought I would make a little post to try and draw awareness to a new story I made. I'm pretty happy with it, so naturally I'm throwing it everywhere. Please check it out if Cute Sweetie Belle is your thing:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/307553/sweetie-belles-first-date
>>25956568
But it's not even AiE. For shame.
>>25954179
Do I count if I haven't posted a story in 3 1/2 years?
>>25956568
>Not AiE
Sorry buddy, I think I'll pass.
>>25956568
Shill harder, Priest! Try to really sell us your story!
Why should WE use OUR time to read YOUR story instead of fondling our balls and sniffing our fingers when we think no one watches?
Just Sweetie Belle being cute is not enough anymore in 2016!
>>25956568
Cute/10
>>25956593
>>25956603
>>25956616
>>25956626
Yeah, yeah. I know it's not AiE... but the purpose of it was a competition. I was dared that I couldn't write a story without Anon or a Fetish in it and it could be good. So I sorta wrote this to win a bet. If I win(and so far I am)He has to write an Anon story.
I know it's an attention whore thing to do, posting it everywhere, but my intent is to prove that AiE writers are good writers.
>>25956650
Nah don't sweat it, Priest. Seeking praise and recognition for something you poured a lot of time and effort into is only natural.
Gonna read it when I find some free time.
Last time on KAahCS (Cocks for short), Anon and company set out to find the cause of hundreds of disappearances in the south. In doing so, he came face to face with a relic from Tartatus, Lord Tirek, who proceeded to smack a bitch. Anon and one lone soldier barely make it out of confrontation and find refuge in the port town of Hooverpool. They share their information with the mayor there, a rough woman by the name of Spurious, who promises to fortify the city in preparation for Tirek. Anon leaves Unassigned in Hooverpool as a contact and sets off back to New Earth.
>>25938826
>Several days go by as you make your way back to New Earth.
>Of course you took extra care to avoid forests, or really trees in general.
>Sleeping in an open field isn’t your idea of a good time, but it’s better than the alternative.
>Funny how once you know what’s out there, doing something that was safe just earlier seems all the more deadly.
>It’s sunrise as you reach your home.
>The walls stand tall as ever, and the gates remain open.
>It was meant to be a symbol that humans needn’t be shut in creatures anymore, but given the new information, you’ll have to change that.
>First things first, you need to make it to the radio tower.
>Every city has one, and New Earth’s is the strongest.
>With it, you’ll be able to broadcast a message to every city and village to warn them of the oncoming threats.
>On another note, your presence in the city is met with mixed feelings.
>Whenever someone looks at you, they start out happy. Looks of joy fade as they realize you’re the only one returning.
>Some questions come your way as to how the search went, but you ignore them.
>You’d like to be able to say that everyone is staying behind with Unassigned, but, well...that just isn’t the case.
>>25957182
>Before long, you’re at the tower.
>It’s a massive, elongated metal pyramid that reaches the sky.
>Beside it is a small building. That’s the control station.
>Your wolf lowers itself to the ground and you get off.
>Hobbling over to the building, the thought of getting a cane crosses your mind.
>You open the door and enter.
>Instantly, you are hit with horridly hot air, and a smell of unwashed people as bad if not worse than your own filthy garments.
>Six days in the same clothes will do that to you, you suppose.
>Though the lights seem to be off, you can still make out three men and a woman sitting around and chatting away.
>They stop whatever conversation they were having as you walk in and crane their heads to see you.
>The woman hits her knee on the large blinking control panel as she stands.
>All the crew bows to you, addresses you, all that jazz.
“Yes, yes, hello to you too.”
>”How was your journey, my king?”
“Eventful. I need you to broadcast a message for me, alright? This needs to reach every city and village across the globe.”
>”I think we can manage that. Can we manage that?”
>”We can manage that.”
>”You’re looking at the man’s finest creation right here.”
>”Power permitting, we could broadcast globally every second of every day.”
“Good. We have to warn the people in further settlements about a monster that somehow survived Falling Grace,” you say and approach the panel.
>”Do you want some water? It’s hot in here,” mutters one of the men as he walks off behind you, likely to a sink.
>The woman raises her eyebrow at you.
>”Do you really think a warning will prepare anyone for them?”
“It’s better than nothing. If the people have time, perhaps they could build some walls and dig some trenches. I don’t know how to beat this thing yet...but I’ll make it my personal mission to find out how.”
>She shrugs and turns around, fiddling with a bunch of levers and switches.
>>25957197
>Now, you’re no scientist, but those don’t seem to be doing much of anything.
>”If you really think walls are going to stop them when boomtubes and swords can’t, we’ll send the message.”
“Right. So firstly, we need to—“
>Wait a second, you never mentioned those.
“What was that about boomtubes and swords?”
>”You said a group of monsters survived Falling Grace.”
“I said one monster, and I never talked about its invulnerabilties.”
>She stares at you long and hard.
>And wait just a second, you never saw a sink in here!
>Before you can turn, a set of arms wrap around your neck and lock your head in place.
>”Rex unus erit cadent,” the waterboy whispers into your ear.
>This is a good lock, but the fool made one mistake. He left you with footing.
>You dig your fingers in between his arm and your throat.
>With all your might, you jerk forward and twist, throwing the man over your back.
>He hits the concrete floor with a thud and lets go of your neck.
>You’ve still got your grip on him though, and you twist his wrist until his palm is facing past the opposite direction.
>That woman leaps from her chair and rips a hefty looking keyboard out of the panel.
>She swings it full force and gives you a good one right across the face.
>You go flying and sprawl out onto the floor.
>Your cheek burns and your world is a little fuzzy, but at least that’s the worst of it. If she hit a little lower, you’d be out cold.
>You’re still regaining your bearings when something lands on your gut.
>The woman, you reckon from the light weight, and her keyboard.
>You raise your arms up to defend against an attack.
>The thing crashes hard against your forearms and snaps in half, the top of which falls and hits you in the face.
>>25957216
>She grabs one of your exposed arms and spins on your gut, dragging your arm with her.
>She falls back off your side and lays her legs across your chest and neck.
>You barely have time to grab your hand so she doesn’t pull your arm back all the way and snap it.
>Gods, she is strong for a woman.
>She has one arm locked around your elbow and is trying to pull your hand out.
>You oblige and let go of your arm, but using bicep strength, keep it bent and her own arm trapped.
>With that done, you grab her wrist and pull it up and over your arm, freeing you completely of her.
>Before she has time to react, you take the leg that was resting on your neck and throw her calf over your shoulder whilst hugging the thigh.
>With her leg anchored and knee in a precarious position, you muster as much force as you can and pull down on her thigh.
>Her knee pops, eliciting a loud scream of pain from her.
>She curls up on the floor, hugging her broken leg.
>You use the opportunity to roll away.
>However, you do so right into one of the standing men’s foot.
>Your hands go up instantly to block the kick and catch it just in time.
>His foot is secured in your hands, one of which is on his toes and the other on his heel.
>You twist his foot 180 degrees the wrong way.
>You feel confident in his defeat and jump to your feet.
>There are still two men in the room, each looking very ready to beat you senseless.
>Thank gods for adrenaline-induced pain relief.
>The farthest man whips out a boomtube from under his shirt.
>You’re fast, but uh...yeah, you’re not that fast.
>There has to be something you can do. If you drop to the floor right when he pulls the trigger, then maybe you could--
>Six shots go off.
>Every one of them goes into the control panel for the radio tower.
>It sparks and whirs in response like a dying engine.
>You’re afraid it will blow up for a second, but the whole thing just dies.
“No!”
>>25957227
>The man pops his boomtube open, throwing six empty cases out the back.
>He begins loading it as the second man charges for you.
>Your assailant throws a punch, but you grab his wrist and pull it up, keeping his elbow bent at ninety degrees.
>With your free arm, you take your wrist from behind his own and yank down behind him, turning his shoulder into a mock symphony of cracking twigs.
>You hear a click in the distance and look up to see a fully loaded boomtube pointing right at you.
>No, he wouldn’t. You still have his partner in front of you. He’d die.
>You can see the hammer start to turn as he puts more and more pressure on the trigger…
>He would!
>You throw the man you’re holding down on the floor to spare him and take a bullet yourself.
>It goes right into your shoulder and hurts like a mother fucker.
>You drop down, landing right next to the half of the keyboard that hit your head.
>You grab it and throw it like a disk.
>It hits his hand and sends the boomtube flying.
>The window is there, Anon. Leap!
>You burst up from the floor and run full speed.
>With your lead lowered, you slam it right into the center of his chest.
>Keeping up the force, you slam his back into a wall.
>You whip your head up, crashing it into his chin.
>His teeth click together and likely chip in the process.
>You grab at his exposed neck with your good hand and squeeze with all your might.
>He claws at you and kicks to get free.
>When his struggles weaken, you loosen your grip ever so slightly and let some air back into his lungs.
>He is greedy with his breaths and sucks in air like he’d never had any before.
“I want answers,” you growl.
>>25957240
>”N-no! I can’t!”
“Why not?”
>”They’ll kill me!”
“And I won’t, but tell me. Who should you fear more? Death,” you yank him forward, almost touching noses, and glare into his frantic eyes. “Or the man who has to top it?”
>”P-please!”
“Talk! Who is ‘they’? Who do you work for?”
>”T-Tirek!”
>Tirek? The monster from the forest?
>But they…
“You said ‘they’. Are there more?”
>He refuses to answer you.
>More than a little peeved, you slam him back against the wall, cracking the surface a little.
“I asked you a question! Are there more?”
>”Y-yes!”
“How many?”
>”I don’t know!”
“You better not be lying to me!”
>”I’m not! I swear! I don’t know how many there are, just that they follow Tirek!”
“And what about you? You and your little friends can’t be the only ones working for that piece of shit. Who are the others?”
>”I don--”
“And you better not tell me you don’t know.”
>”I-I...they come to us. They come to us in dreams. They only recruit us and give us orders. They don’t tell us who else is involved.”
“I’m not in the mood for your games. Only Princess Luna could control dreams.”
>”I’m not lying to you, I swear it! I swear by all the gods!”
>Little cretin.
“Why did you do it?”
>”What?”
“Why did you join them? Why didn’t you inform anyone that there were monsters left in the world?”
>”We joined them because...because…”
“Because why?”
>”W-we were afraid.”
“Of?”
>”Of you! We were afraid of you!”
>You?
>What’d you do?
>You’re a great guy compared to soul-sucking demons.
>>25956650
>I did it because I want to win
The only thing that matters past having fun.
2016 is off to a great, great start.
>>25957253
>”You’re Anonymous, the mad king who laid waste to a world because he didn’t like how the others looked!”
“Didn’t like...they were monsters! They’d spent the last seventy fucking years trying to wipe humanity off the map!”
>”And you wiped *everything* off the map!”
“It was necessary!”
>”The salamanders were our allies! Was it necessary to kill them?”
“They were learning! They’d have turned on us eventually!”
>”They were learning because you taught them! *You* lifted them to power! *You* gave them schools! If they were to ever turn on us, it’d have been your fault, but you just killed them! You killed them like you killed everything else! Of course we’d be afraid of you! At least the monsters offered us safety if we served them!”
“How can I get in contact with these things?”
>Oh no. The adrenaline is wearing off.
>Ooooh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
>”Y-you don’t. They come to you.”
“I’m going…”
>Going to...oh shit. Oh fucking lords.
>It’s getting hard to focus.
>”G-going?”
“Shut up. I’m going to find your boss. I’m going to kill him.”
>”Y-you can’t. He’s invincible.”
“Yeah? So was Celestia. Then I put a bullet in her head.”
>”Your guns won’t work.”
>Is he still talking?
>You can see his mouth moving, but you can’t really hear anything from it.
>Even through the heavy veil of drowsiness overcoming you, your body still burns with pain.
>Cutting the man off from whatever he was saying, you re apply pressure to his neck.
>He chokes and grabs at your hand, trying to pry you off, but you don’t let go this time.
>Not until you’re sure he’s unconscious.
>With that, you follow suite and black out yourself.
That's all I have today. If you like Cocks, don't forget to like and subscribe. If there's not enough Cocks here for you, you can get the full story at http://pastebin.com/0C1pXYxa
>>25957275
I like cocks only on mares.
>>25949066
Anon has cute pjs
>>25949066
>>25956568
It's cool of you to mention it. Not like we're swimmin in greentext at the moment.
>>25957642
indeed
>>25957257
Damn thas cute pic
>>25960229
Only because it looks like she has a noose on her neck.
>>25960980
>"Don't be such a silly-billy, why would I have a noose around my neck, it's not like I ever feel lonely when I have so many friends to spend time with."
>>25961042
A "Careful with that edge kiddo", is also acceptable.
>>25961042
>Pinkie slowly slips into depression
>Anon is the first to notice
>Does his best to keep her from going fullRobin Williams
>>25955037
But do you postrubber baby buggybumpers?
Threadly reminder thathurr de durr de derp derp derpity doo.
>>25949185
They're just hidden.
>>25954179
Moreso now since PiE merged.
>>25962301
jiffy pls
>>25962313
What?
>when you prioritize writing green over doing important work
>>25962661
>Not being able to write green becauseyou are stuck doing important work
FTFY
>>25963130
No, I had it right the first time
>when you prioritize bumping threads over sleeping.
>>25963990
>be waiting to go to sleep
>just have to check the threads one more time
>flip through tabs and update every thread
>No New Posts
>almost time for bed
>just check if any threads updated
>No New Posts
>ok now time for bed
>just one more check
What have I become?
>>25964006
Just go to sleep anon. Someone will be lurking tomorrow, waiting for the thread to hit page 8 so they can save the day. It's all accounted for. Now goodnight.
>>25964006
>be pony
>"Pony, come to bed," says Pony 2
"No, Pony 2," says you. "I must bump thread or else it will die
>"Please Pony. I must sex you."
>Think about it
>Do not sex Pony 2 for must bump thread
>Such is life in AiE
shipoopi
>>25964878
SHIPOOPI?
>>25965035
The girl who's hard to get?
Well this is the first time I've visited an AiE thread since I started coming here 3 years ago.
Can anyone recommend a few good stories?
>>25965280
catcher in the rye
>>25965280
http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
>>25965280
>Can anyone recommend a few good stories?
Clinton's PR people produce pretty good fanfic of her on the regular.
>>25965708
>>25965459
this is why this thread is so fucking abandoned, you're literally shitposting people out of this place
>>25965773
Not him, but if they get scared by shitposting, they should fuck off 4chan
>>25965793
>scared
you're fucking retarded, they lose interest and go somewhere else, not get scared ffs. how old are you, 12?
>>25965773
We're quiet from a combination of, "We aren't always nice to people" and writer's fatigue.
>>25965809
I think you can't universalize. For example, I was just recently reading some decent stories, but then I saw one little shitpost and my mom got scared and said "you're moving in with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air."
>>25964006
>>>25963990
>>be waiting to go to sleep
>>just have to check the threads one more time
>>flip through tabs and update every thread
>>No New Posts
>>almost time for bed
>>just check if any threads updated
>>No New Posts
>>ok now time for bed
>>just one more check
>What have I become?
Pretty much how my day goes. First thing in the morning, 2 or 3 times an hour at work, on the commute home, constantly in the evening, last thing I do before go to sleep clutching plushie
Any news from Thovar on an update for Dwarf in Equestria?
>>25965708
Ad a giggle m8
>>25965809
If they can'tget past shitposts, why are they even here? Fucking newfag
>>25957275
I was wondering if anyone actually took offense about the salamanders. Though obviously Tirek didn't tell them about eating humans.
>>25965280
Great Expectations is the best book I've had the pleasure of reading.
>>25965773
I'm sorry, do you want me to hold your hand? I know it must he quite hard coming to 4chan and not immediately getting your dick sucked.
>>25965280
I've taken a long break too, but I know there's a few pastebins in the thread OP that will give you two or three of the recent stories and most of the completed stories. As for what's good, I can only vouch for the most recent threads, but they all seem at least readable to me.
>>25967671
What would the real life equivalent of that be? America civilizing the Australians and then killing them all?
>>25965280
Uhhh...what was the last story you remember reading?
Crossposting from Flutterrape
>You are Fluttershy
>The snowy landscape of Ponyville slowly passes under you as you fly toward the crystal palace.
>You were on your way to return a book to Twilight.
>She still treated it like a public library so she expected books to be returned on time.
>Not like it matters.
>Nothing in the "Big Book of Fetishes Vol. 3" had helped you in your neverending quest.
>To get that huge monkey dick.
>You let out a quiet sigh.
>For months you've tried to get into his pants without success.
>You're way too awkward to woo him the healthy, normal way so appealing to his fetish was the only thing you could do.
>Which might have worked, if you knew what it was.
>At this point you think he's lying about what it is.
>B-bucking Anon.
>The crystal castle soon comes into view and you descend until your hooves touch down in front of the huge double doors.
>Despite their size, it's quite easy to open them.
>The giant hallways usually unnerved you with how cavernous and empty they were but they were less intimidating, decorated as they were for the season.
>You admire the decor as you go through the halls of the castle.
>You're about to turn the corner into the library when voices within it makes you pause.
>"...what the shit Sparkle, you told everybody?!"
>Your heart skips a beat.
>A-Anon?
>"Of course! I wanted everypony to share in your traditions."
>"I told you I hated doing that. Mom used to always force us to-"
>"It's cute! Besides, it's too late to stop now. So, come on!"
>Anon angrily groans.
>"Fucking Sparkle."
>The following the silence makes you curious enough to finally take a peak.
>You gasp at what you see.
>Your beloved human kneeling in front of Twilight as she puts her treacherous lips on his.
>>25968948
>Your breath immediately leaves you and is replaced with dread and anger.
>H-how could she?!
>She knew you liked Anon, that h-hussy!
>Anon was your human!
>Fueled by your sudden anger, you rush out from your hiding spot and charge the traitorous alicorn.
>You skid to stop before them, poised to strike.
>At this moment, Twilight opens her eyes to look directly at you.
>She smiles, oblivious to the imminent danger to her.
>"Oh, Fluttershy! I didn't see you there."
>Anon stands back up, looking at you with his usual annoyed expression.
>All this attention let's out some of the air in you but you push on regardless.
"B-back off my man, bi--"
>Anon lets a grunt of disgust, his gaze skyward.
>”Ah dammit, not again. You would take advantage of this. Whatever,lets get this over with."
"W-what?"
>He suddenly grabs you by your sides and brings you at level with his face.
>The touch sends a lovely sensation through you.
"Oh my~."
>Before you can ask what he is doing, he plants a kiss on your lips.
>You go limp in his arms, your earlier anger forgotten.
>It only lasts a couple of seconds, but it felt like a lifetime to you.
>It was so wonderful. It was soft, unlike all the other times you've snuck kisses from Anon.
>Consensual kisses were the best.
>You give Anon the best bedroom eyes you can muster, while using your rear hoof to massage his crotch.
"Ehehe, how about a nice h-hoofjob?"
>”Ugh!”
>He violently drops you onto your back, wiping the little saliva present on his lips.
>He leaves the library while mumbling angrily to himself.
>”Fucking Fluttershy.”
>>25968963
>Oh darn, you did it again.
>But that was unexpected. Wonder what came over him…
>While enjoying the afterglow, Twilight's face appears above you concern on her face.
>”Fluttershy, are you okay?”
"O-oh yes! I’m just fine."
>From your position you can see what had held Anon's attention earlier.
>Hoisted by a string on the ceiling, a small cluster of leaves and bright red berries hangs from the ceiling.
"Um, Twilight, what is that?"
>She follows your hoof to the mysterious ornament.
>"Oh! That's a mistletoe."
>With her magic, she brings it down before her.
>Her cheeks become rosy for some reason.
>”Anon told me a while ago of a holiday called Christmas that was similar to Hearth’s Warming Eve. One of its traditions was that whenever two people met under a mistletoe, they would kiss!"
>Ooooh.
>That was the reason they were...and you were about to tear into Twilight.
>How embarrassing.
"I thought it would make feel more at home, so I went to Zecora to collect them and gave them out to everypony in Ponyville. Speaking of..."
>Twilight suddenly leans her head down to give you a peck on the lips.
>Now you're both blushing.
>”Happy Hearth's Warming, Fluttershy!”
"H-happy Hearth's Warming..."
>Still reeling from what just happened, you try to focus back on the mistletoe.
>...
"Twilight? You wouldn't have another one of those, would you?"
>"Sure! I have plenty leftover."
>From the nearby desk, a mistletoe magically floats over and land in your hooves.
"Thank you."
>You grip the plant closer to your chest, a conspiratorial smile on your face.
>This might not be Anon's fetish but it'll do for now.
>>25968979
>You tug the twine around the mistletoe one final time, guaranteeing that it'll hold.
>Backing off, you inspect the plant hoisted above the door.
>Satisfied that it's secure, you take your place on Anon's front porch.
>To calm your nerves you start to preen yourself.
>Have to look nice for your monkey man.
>Confident you look your best, you knock on the door.
>Anon always answered the door when you knocked, despite his protests for you to stop.
>It's what tells you he's just waiting for you to guess his fetish.
>But today there would be no fetishes.
>Just his sweet, tender lips on yours.
>Your cheeks grow warm at the thought.
>Sounds from within catches your attention away from your fantasies.
>He's coming!
>With one last look at the mistletoe, you pucker your lips and close your eyes in anticipation.
>The sound of the door opening makes you even more tense.
>Silence is all that greets you but you're too nervous to open your eyes.
>Eventually though, you feel the warmth of Anon's breath spread across your muzzle.
>Before you can get lost in the sensation, he captures your lips in a intimate kiss.
>*POMF*
>A spark shoots down your spine all the way to your nethers.
>You lightly moan as you press deeper into the kiss.
>It's as good as you remembered.
>Yet, it was somehow different from yesterday.
>His lips *were* sweet!
>Too sweet.
>Almost like cotton can--
>"Mmmm, butterscotch!"
>>25968993
>Your eyes snap open to reveal big blue eyes.
>You backpedal away, landing on your haunches with an audible wet sound.
>Mercifully, the mare before you doesn't notice as she giggles to herself.
>Finally finding your voice, you stammer out in surprise.
"P-P-Pinkie?! What are you doing here? Where's Anon?"
>"Weeeeell~, I was on my way to Sugarcube Corner but I suddenly to go to the bathroom really BAD because me and Rainbow Dash were drinking egg nog all day because I wanted to test out some new recipes that I made for the party tonight. Anon's house was close so I thought I could use his. Problem was, he was already on his way out to go see Rarity but he said I could still use it as long as I locked the door on my way out."
>With a flick of her prehensile tail, she closes the door with a click.
>"And I just did!"
>It takes you a few seconds to pick out the important information out of all of that, but when you do you come to your hooves quickly and trot off in the direction of the Carousel Boutique.
"IhavetogoPinkiegoodbye!"
>The pink mare waves at your retreating form.
>"Okay, see ya tonight!"
>Before Pinkie can hop on her way to the bakery, something leads her gaze above her.
>Twisting her neck, she looks up at the mistletoe dangling before the door fame.
>"Oooh, what's that?"
>>25969005
>Your frantic gallop quickly brings you to the home and business of your friend.
>There was no sign of Anon on your way over here, which means he must be inside by now.
>You slow to a stop as you get to the front door of the boutique.
>The thought to set up the mistletoe over the door crosses your mind but you immediately discard it.
>You didn't want a repeat of last time.
>The chime above the door announces your entrance to the dressmaker within.
>Tools of her trade weave and bob around her head in a magical dance, filling the boutique with a low hum of activity.
>Without turning to look at you, Rarity speaks up in a professionally pleasant tone.
>"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! If you can just wait a moment I'll--Oh, Fluttershy!"
>After releasing the implements from her grasp, she gives you more of a genuine smile.
>"What brings you here today, darling?"
"Hello, Rarity..."
>A quick glance around the foyer yields no sign of your lovemonkey.
"Did Anon happen to come by?"
>"Why yes, he did! He's in the back trying on some new outfits I made for him."
>She pouts in annoyance.
>"I would be helping him but he insisted on doing it himself. What a silly colt."
>She drops the pout to smile back at you.
>"Did you want to see him?"
"Yes! I mean, no..."
>You hide behind your mane, a slight blush on her cheeks.
>Rarity raises an eyebrow in confusion.
>Checking the room one more time, you approach Rarity and speak in a hushed tone.
"Did Twilight tell you about mistletoes?"
>Rarity rolls her eyes at the memory of the hour-long seminar the alicorn had held.
>"Quite extensively. Why do you ask?"
"W-well, Anon always kisses whoever he's under it with...and I l-like Anon..."
>You trail off, leaving the implications hanging in the air.
>Rarity's eyes light up in realization.
>"Oooh..."
>Rarity looks back at you with brow scrunched in an expression edging close to pity.
>The awkward silence starts to makes you regret coming here.
>>25969017
>You feel whatever courage you had leave you in a rush.
"NevermindI'lljustleave."
>You try to turn in retreat but a comforting hoof stops you.
>"No, no dear. It's alright!"
"...really?"
>"Of course! I know you're not the most...daring mare when it comes to courting. This little exercise could actually help give you some confidence! Tell you what..."
>Rarity adopts a conniving grin as she leans into you, whispering.
>"When Anon comes from out the dressing room, I'll lure him under the mistletoe. When he's distracted, I'll signal you and you can claim your prize."
>A small smile graces your face at the support that Rarity is giving you.
>You can feel your courage come crawling back in.
>Rarity holds out a hoof for you.
>"Now, hand me your mistletoe before he comes."
>Excited, you go to retrieve your mistletoe but freeze as something finally dawns on you.
>The mistletoe!
>In your haste to catch Anon, you had left it back at his house.
>There's no way you can get it back before Anon leaves.
>You start to go into one of your panic attacks, your breathing becoming strained.
>You're about to break down into hysterics when your cheeks are suddenly smushed together.
>"Calm down, Fluttershy! You can just use the one that Twilight gave me."
>You blush, slightly embarrassed.
"Oh...thank you."
>"Keep it. I have no need for such things."
>She flips her mane, a slightly smug smile on her face.
>You go to respond but a shout from the back cuts you off.
>"Hey Rarity, I'm done!"
>>25969028
>Rarity quickly shoos you toward the mannequins by the far wall.
>You scramble to get into position as Rarity levitates the mistletoe above her out of sight.
>Anon comes strolling into the foyer, a stack of folded clothes held in his arms.
>"So did they fit? Not too tight, I hope?"
>He grins widely at her.
>"Nah, they fit perfectly. Thanks Rare, I appreciate it."
>"No problem at all, Anonymous. Designing outfits for your unique physique has been a compelling challenge. Now, let me get those packaged for you."
>Rarity magics the bundle out of Anon's hands and into a bag that she leaves hovering near her, well out of his reach.
>Anon only raises an eyebrow at this before walking to her and grabbing it out of the air.
>He voices his gratitude once again before turning toward the door but Rarity makes him stop.
>"Oh Anon, darling? Before you go..."
>"What?"
>He follows her pointing hoof to the mistletoe levitating over them.
>His face droops into a flat look as he stares at the ornament.
>An exasperated sigh rips from him.
>"You too, huh?"
>Unbeknownst to Anon, Rarity urgently beckons to you with a hoof.
>This is it!
>Keeping your eyes on Anon, you try to step out backwards from behind the mannequin into Anon's blind spot.
>"REEEEOOOOORW!"
>Snapping your head around, your face is set upon by a flurry fangs and claws.
"Ahh, Opal?!"
>>25969040
>The cat, tail crumpled and fur standing on end, hisses at you angrily as she scratches at your face in retaliation for stepping on her tail.
>The pain from the swipe sends you stumbling into the group of mannequins, which bumps into the shelves filled with the bolts of cloths, causing them to fall from their perch.
>Your frightened yelp is cut off short as you're buried under an avalanche of brightly colored garments.
>Rarity takes a step in the direction of the pile, face wrought with concern.
>"Oh dear, Flut--!"
>Anon stops Rarity's rescue attempt by grasping her chin his hand.
>"Uh-uh, let's finish this first."
>Leaning down he smooches her on the lips.
>Her eyes pop open in shock, her cheeks reddening into a blush.
>You manage to untangle yourself enough from the mess to pop your head out.
>You whimper in dismay at his kiss being stolen again.
>Anon from disconnects from Rarity with obvious disinterest.
>"Alright, see you later Rarity. AJ needs my help for something."
>He walks out of the boutique with his bag in hand, grumbling to himself.
>Rarity remains frozen in space as she just stares into the distance.
>Eventually though, she's able to snap out of it and comes trotting toward you.
>Her horn lights up as the various clothes and mannequins are raised off of you.
>>25969049
>Opal comes scurrying out first, huffing in anger.
>"I'm so sorry Fluttershy! Are you alright?"
>You groan in pain and misery.
"It's not your fault..."
>You're the one that messed up.
>Again.
>A handkerchief comes toward your face and wipes away at the tears threatening to overflow.
>"Come dear, please don't cry. It's not all lost! You can still catch him."
>You sniffle as you look up at her.
"I can?"
>"Yes! He said Applejack needed him. That means he'll definitely end up going to Sweet Apple Acres. That'll be your chance to swoop in and get the jump on him."
>Rarity looks up at the mistletoe above her, looking like she's considering something.
>Before you can react, she leans down to you and pecks you on your lips.
>You blink in surprise at the unexpected action.
"Whuh?"
>"A kiss for good luck. Now, go get him darling!"
>You quickly get to your hooves, snatching the mistletoe from the air as you gallop out of the store.
>Don't want to make that mistake again.
"Thanks Rarity!"
>"Mhmm."
>Rarity licks her lips, humming as she tastes the lingering flavors of her friends on them.
>She chuckles to herself before getting to work on fixing the mess you made.
>"Perhaps these mistletoes aren't so bad..."
http://pastebin.com/friN3GPB
More later.
I bring you the latest in the continuing adventures of He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria!
>"There you go, now eat up Mr Bear so you'll grow big and strong."
>*bear noises*
>"Oh, yes, I'm sorry, you're already big and strong but you still need to eat up."
>Spike was right, you did need to get out of the treebrary.
>And helping fluttershy feed the animals is surprisingly relaxing.
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!"
>Well so much for that idea.
>"I HAVE THE POOOOOWWWWEEEEEERRR!"
>Stupid, crazy, butterbrained Anon
>And there he is striding towards us with his taught, rippling muscl--- and staring right at Mr Bear.
>"COME BATTLECAT! SKELETOR IS ON THE MOVE AND WE MUST STOP HIS FIENDISH SCHEMES!"
>"Oh I'm sorry Anon but Mr Bear can't come play today" *Squeak*
>Oh Fluttershy, if talking worked Anon wouldn't still be doing his He-Anon thing with his well toned ass.
>"BEASTMAN! YOU DARE TRY TO KIDNAP BATTLECAT?"
>"I'm afraid I have to insist Anon, Mr Bear has had the flu and I must put my hoof down" Fluttershy gently taps the ground with her hoof.
>"SURRENDER BEASTMAN! I'M MORE THAN A MATCH FOR THE LIKES OF YOU!"
>"Anon listen to Fluttershy, Mr Bear can't play today"
>Anon moves towards Mr Bear anyway, you have to do something and it's about time someone put Anon and his hairy masculine pecs in their place.
>*pew pew horse magic lazor noises*
>"ARGH! SKELETOR! YOU MAY HAVE ME OUT NUMBERED FOR NOW BUT I'LL BE BACK"
>Stupid Anon and his skimpy loincloth with a huge well placed buldge that promises untol----
>"I SHALL RETURN WITH RAM MAN AND FISTO TO FREE BATTLECAT FROM YOUR EVIL CLUTCHES"
>Anon runs away back towards Ponyville, the muscles in his luscious legs flexing as he moves... I mean stupid Anon.
http://pastebin.com/t6AwVLrk
>>25969140
Mr. Universe get a look at those 42" biceps
>>25969140
This seems like a dangerous man to be around town during Nightmare Night.
>>25957275
>A soothing voice calls to you in a dream.
>It sounds familiar.
>You want to go to it for some reason.
>”...and remember that time when…”
>The words drift in and out of your understanding, but the voice…
“Celestia?” you mumble.
>It’s so bright out. Is it morning?
>”You’re awake,” comes the voice again.
>You crack your eyes open and peer into the bright morning...lamp.
“What?”
>”Nurse, go inform the others.”
“What others? Where am I?”
>As your eyes adjust to the light, shapes begin to form.
>The person next to you is in fact not who you thought they were in your sleepy stupor.
“Oh, it’s you, John.”
>”Well we can’t all be six foot tall pony deities.”
>”Quite,” you grumble and try to sit up.
>There’s a dull throbbing sensation in your chest which John promptly places his hand against.
>”Slow down there, slugger. You need your rest.”
“Rest? Where am I?”
>He gestures to a plain yellow wall with but a small blue chair in front to add flare.
>”This tacky wallpaper isn’t enough for you?”
“The hospital?”
>”Bingo.”
>Your eyes travel around the room.
>Aside from that chair and a trash bin in the corner of the room, there’s nothing else here.
>Why the devil would you be here?
>All you were doing was--
>Oooooh ok.
>It all comes back to you now.
>The fight with Tirek.
>Your ride to Hooverpool and back.
>The meeting in the control room.
>Your complete lack of buzz during it all.
>>25969974
>”You had quite the week, didn’t you?”
“You have no idea. In fact, I’d like to fill the whole council in on it. Could you fetch them for me?”
>”They’re already on the way. I figured you’d have something important to say when you woke up and also that you’d ignore my pleas for you to relax.”
“You know me so well,” you say with a smile.
>He nods and grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.
>You look on his face now.
>He seems tired. He’s worn out, and there’s a dull sheen in his eyes where a bright light used to be.
>You can’t quite tell if it’s simply age rearing its ugly head or something else.
>”I know you far too well. I know you’re going to become obsessed with this like you become obsessed with everything.”
“Oh,” you chuckle dismissively. “I think you’re over exaggerating a bit.”
>He shakes his head and pulls over that ugly little chair from the wall.
>A heavy sigh escapes him as he sits down.
>”When you were ten, you spent three weeks perfecting your half sword technique.”
“And it paid off, I’d say,” you boast.
>”Yes, well when you were fifteen, you wouldn’t leave the animal pens until you’d gotten all the wolves to be your friends.”
“A man should trust his steed.”
>”When you were twenty five, you spent two months reading every bit of history you could on the caribou before attending a peace conference.”
“Wouldn’t you do the same?”
>”You killed three dignitaries and permanently marred relations between our two races because they called your wolf fat.”
“We’d been friends since I was fifteen! And besides, you can hardly blame me for that. Innominate killed six. She was the rowdy one.”
>He chuckles lightly, but all too quickly the serious look returns.
>There’s a short pause before John speaks again.
>>25969140
I love the evolution of Twilight's responses to He-Anon. Keep this up, m80; it makes me laugh.
>>25969984
>”I saw the best parts of you die three years ago because you were too obsessed with revenge to see the monster you were becoming,” he says with a low voice.
>You look away from him and up to the ceiling.
>”I know you love your people, Anonymous, but whatever this is…”
>He lets go of your hand and leans back in the chair.
>There’s another sigh from him.
>You look over to see him cupping his hands around his face.
>He pulls them back, pulling his skin taut and fixing his hair.
>They reconnect behind his head and form a headrest.
>”I don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into, but knowing you, it’s probably bad. I just don’t want to see what little is left of the man I knew disappear. Don’t let this consume you, Anon.”
>Well gee, nice to drop this on you when you just woke up.
“John, thank you for your concern. It means a lot knowing I have a friend like you looking out for me.”
>You hold your hand out to him, not so much expecting anything in return as you are simply offering it.
>He looks at you long and hard before relenting and taking yours back into his again.
>He pats it gently and smiles.
>You can see something past that smile, though.
>It’s artificial.
“Look, if we’re going to discuss such heavy topics, at least let me do it with a bottle in my hands.”
>”What man is complete without his vices?”
“It is not a vice. It’s a hobby.”
>”I can think of better hobbies than stumbling around like a common beggar.”
“Is annoying me on that list?”
>”The very top. Nurse,” he shouts into the hall. “Fetch us some wine.”
“No, get the good stuff.”
>”Scratch that, he doesn’t want to see straight today. Get the whiskey.”
“You are really pressing your luck, mister.”
>”Would you rather I press on your chest?”
“Oh gods above, please don’t.”
>>25969996
>After a few short minutes of idle chat with your companion, there’s a knocking on the door.
>Those outside do not wait for your acknowledgement and enter on their own.
>Pseudonymous, all dolled up just for you, enters with his salon-style hair and flashy outfit.
>”Oh my king, I was so worried for you,” he cries.
>Worried he’d run out of a hole to shove his nose in, more like.
>If he were any farther up your ass, you could taste his hair.
>Behind him are Unattested and Whatchamacallit.
>”I come bearing gifts,” says Unattested as he unfurls his cape, revealing a bottle of whiskey nestled in the crook of his arm.
“I always knew you were my favorite.”
>Pseudonymous practically pushes John out of the chair in order to get a seat next to you.
>”Oh you simply must tell us. How was your journey? What did you see? Where is that coarse soldierboy you took with you?”
“Calm yourself. First, we drink.”
>Unattested hands you the bottle and steps back.
>”Actually, the wife has been on me lately. I’m off alcohol for now.”
>”And that brand is too strong for me. I’ll stick to my wines, thank you,” says Whatchamacallit with a bow of his head.
>The man in the chair reaches for the bottle in your hands.
>”I’ll share a drink with you.”
“You don’t get one,” you snap and yank the bottle out of his range.
>Children shouldn’t be drinking, after all.
>Ooh, nice one. You’ll save that for later.
>You have a little inward laugh and open the bottle, savoring the scent.
>You slowly bring the thing to your lips and tip it back, letting the contents flow into your mouth.
>It stings like a bastard and scorches your throat on the way down.
>How you missed that.
>You pull it away after a second or two and shake as the sensation runs through your system.
>Who needs a lover when you have this magical concoction?
>With a happy sigh, you turn back to your audience.
>>25970012
>They all seem very unsurprised by your actions.
>They’re used to your show by now, considering you’ve done it every council meeting.
>Also during most of your time off.
“Men.”
>”Anonymous.”
>You explain to them the happenings in the forest in as much detail as you can.
>It’s hard to recount Garland’s death.
>As you do so, you can’t help but wander back to your time together in the war.
>He was always so eager to take part in everything back then.
>Even afterwards when you didn’t think he’d keep in touch, he was close by, pushing himself into your life.
>He pushed right into this expedition. He pushed into that battle with Tirek and…
>”It’s not your fault,” Whatchamacallit consoles you.
>”He was always headstrong. It just finally caught up to him.”
>Even so, it’s still another light snuffed out by a monster.
>A monster that slipped through your fingers.
>Anyway, where were you?
>Though the whiskey makes your thoughts a little foggy, you’re able to get through the rest of the story with only a twenty percent margin of error.
>Pseudonymous is the first to respond, of course.
>”How brave you were to face such a creature. Surely we can find a way to stop it once and for all.”
>”Before we get too far into this, I need to ask. Anonymous, are you even sure this happened?” says Unattested, speaking up for the first time since you began.
>What?
“What?”
>”Are you sure you saw this monster? That you weren’t simply drunk off your heels and saw something else?”
>Dunk off your...of course not!
>What kind of man do they take you for?
>There’s a fine line between enjoying a drink in your off time and actively impairing your senses on kingly missions.
“How dare you!”
>”He has a point,” adds Whatchamacallit, pointing to your bottle.
“I hadn’t had one sip of the stuff in two days prior to the battle. I was sober that entire expedition!”
>>25970024
>”Except for your stay in Hooverpool, according to your story.”
“That was long after the fact. How do you explain my injuries? The death of all those men--of Garland! You think some average forest hermit could cut down a warrior like him?”
>”Garland was years out of his prime even before the war. We both know that. He was merely clutching to a youth that was long gone.”
>”Do you think maybe you’d slipped one little bottle into your bags, and in a stupor, only saw what you wanted to see during the fight?”
“No! No I most certainly do not! You doubt me?”
>”Look, I just can’t see how any monster could have possibly survived Falling Grace. It just seems more likely that you...imagined it. You know, trying to reconnect with your glory days?”
>Glory days?
>That Hell is your glory?
“There are lives on the line out beyond our walls, and you want to sit here and question the validity of my story because of a fucking hobby?”
>”Look, Anonymous, the only thing we’re questioning is how much money it’s going to take to follow through with your plans. If this just turns out to be a fluke…”
“Money?” you shout. “You’re concerned with money?”
>”Of course we are! Do you think a kingdom runs on good will?”
>”All these walls and all these trenches for something we’re not even sure exists?”
“It does exist! I just told you it did! I saw it, Unassigned saw it! It killed my friend--your friend! Does this mean nothing to you?”
>”Calm down,” says Pseudonymous soothingly, laying a hand on your shoulder.
>You push him off, knocking him out of the chair and stumbling back.
“I will not calm down! I seem to be the only one who understands what’s going on here!”
>”You’re the only one here drunk.”
“It was only half a bottle, I’m not drunk yet!”
>>25970037
>”A you’d be even more rational if you were. Right? That’s the only explanation I can give as to why you choose to be in a perpetually sorry state like that.”
“Get out! Out, all of you!”
>They refuse to move, bringing your hot blood to a boil.
>In a fit, you throw your bottle of whiskey across the room, shattering it against the wall.
“Get out!”
>They relent and leave slowly, closing the door gently behind them.
“Unbelievable. To think those bastards...I’m the one who made them who they are! I took them in. I thought they were good, that they could help, but they just want money! I should have known!”
>You bring your hand to your mouth, expecting to take a drink.
>When it slaps against your face, you suddenly remember you’d thrown your bottle into the wall.
“Oh, King Anonymous, you were just drunk. You’re always drunk, King Anonymous. Look at me, I’m so smart! I never had to make any sacrifices, so I’m in a perfect position to play with people’s lives so long as I line my own pocket! You bastards!”
>The nerve of them!
>Honestly, if you wanted to be belittled, you’d just kill yourself and let Innominate torment you for all eternity.
>Suddenly, a cough rings throughout the room.
>It echoes in your ears, and your face heats up more than it already was.
>You crane your neck to see John still there, standing in the corner of the room.
>His arms are crossed and he looks at you with his eyebrows raised.
>”Having fun there?”
“John. How much of that did you see?”
>”All of it, I’m afraid. You know, you’re really good at the whole bipolar act. You could go into theater if this king thing doesn’t work out.”
“Oh piss off. I don’t need you calling me a worthless drunk too.”
>”When did I ever imply I thought such?”
>You double take at that.
“You mean you actually believe me?”
>>25970042
>He walks over to the toppled chair and lifts it back up.
>Taking a seat next to your bed, he leans over and rests on his arms.
>”For all your faults, you’ve never given me a reason to doubt you before. Yes, Anonymous. I believe you.”
>You stare into his eyes long and hard.
>Even with your slightly blurred vision, you can still make out his flat face.
“You don’t think what they said is true? That I just slipped a bottle into my bag and imagined the monster in my drunken state? That devoting resources to fight it would be a waste of money?”
>”I don’t believe that for a second. This Tirek character, whoever he is, you saw him. The others are right when they say kingdoms run on money, but what use is a kingdom when all the people are dead? If you think these fortifications are necessary, I say go for it.”
>Huh.
>You never imagined how good it would feel to have one person believing in you.
>It’s such a small thing and yet...you feel so justified.
>”However, I do think we need a more permanent solution. If our tools can’t stop it, then what about Equestrian magic?”
>You almost spit in his face laughing.
“Magic? What, are we going to dabble in necromancy and bring back some unicorn to cast a spell on Tirek?”
>”No, you fool. Canterlot Castle yet stands. Its library should hold the key to defeating Tirek, shouldn’t it?”
Now I'm legit out of green. Everything from this point on is virgin, unwritten territory. Let's see how it unfolds another time.
>>25970054
I'm interested in reading further, but this chapter really took a hit to the suspension of disbelief. I know that Anon's council was pissy with him for not listening, but this outright denial of Anon's story seems absurdly out of place.
Its been two years since the big genocide, yeah? It almost sounds like its been two years since any large loss of life had even occurred. For your king to come back, alone, and tell you that everyone else is dead to the hands of a monster - shouldn't this be the very thing you've dreaded to hear for two years? I'm basically having to ride on the concept that Anonymous managed to get the shillest of shillers to be his councilmen if I'm not outright going to place them as Tirek supporters. He got the shittiest council, he didn't listen to them, he drank, and generally tried to ignore his entire past.
That really does paint him as a shit king who's only good with a sword, which helps with the idea of his council being so unbelieving, but dam. The only way for this to feel solid is for me to believe my protagonist is absolute shit at his own job, which makes him rather unlikable. Makes it harder for me to care about what happens. Guess I'll have to see if I care more or less after another chapter.
>>25970295
That's a big pone
Out of curiosity, has anyone read What's Love Got to Do with It on fimfiction?
Judging by the word count, it looks like it fits in the same bracket as War and Peace and Les Miserables.
>>25970479
>What's Love Got to Do with It
Nigga please.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/45860/diaries-of-a-madman
1.85 million words and still going. You want to talk autism, go full autism.
>>25970566
>1.85 million words
wut
>>25970580
Oh. It gets better. Not only is it, let's say it again because it's hilarious and wrong and fun, 1.85 million words and counting, it's 1.85 million words of a fanfic that is right about on par with HP's My Immortal. Diary is a bit more edgelord and less self-insert fapbait.
Go read it.
I fucking dare you.
>>25970479
>>25970566
Careful, friends.
Word count is, by a large margin, the worst correlating figure with story quality. It is generally the direct result of a writer being unable to create a new venue for his ideas, and instead, piling it on pre-existing content. Sometimes this is due to financial reasons, like a lack of ability to sell new intellectual product. Other times, it is out of fear or disinterest in writing in a different venue.
Consider how the expected size of a novel has changed over time, and more importantly, the fact that online novel content is generally released chapter by chapter. The writer is in far more control of when to stop or how long to extend. I wouldn't be surprised to find lengths of story becoming inconsequential to the overarching scheme, stories wrapped in a story, as it were. You could say I'm being butthurt about people not letting a story die and that they should just "have their fun", but I've seen plenty of literary works harmed by it.
Some real world examples, perhaps? 2001: A Space Odyssey, is generally considered a fantastic book and movie interpretation. The lesser known 2010: Odyssey Two was received warmly and given a lesser movie deal. 2061: The Third Odyssey, had less book circulation, no movie deal, and began perverting themes and content of the original stories (2010 itself was a sequel of the movie and not the 2001 book). 3001: The Final Odyssey, brought back a dead character from 2001 as the main character, effectively shat on all the canon of the past books, and dealt with themes completely inconsistent with previous norms of the story. By that point, only extreme fans were still in circulation, and the project seemed largely for monetary purposes.
So all I'm saying, kiddos, is long doesn't mean good. Sometimes, it means very, very much the exact opposite.
>>25970566
Literally my favorite fanfic of any fandom. Have reread 3 times during sabbaticals between new chapters.
>>25970622
>Diary is a bit more edgelord and less self-insert fapbait
>>25970667
I don't think anyone was insinuating that the referenced stories were worth a shit. The way I read it, it sounded like>>25970622 was bagging on it.
>>25970669
Your taste is indescribably shitty. That is easily the sorriest thing I have read on this board this year.
>>25970687
Eh, just in case. Gotta scare the little chillun's into staying away from bad storehs.
>>25970054
Ha, so much for that perfect empire.
>>25970669
So glad I'm not a teenager anymore.
>>25970566
Wasn't this some shit edgelord story about a faggot who got called "Anon" later in it to try and get it in these threads? Biggest ass pull I've ever seen.
>>25970566
It's this comment that makes me hesitate.
>This is going to be an unpopular opinion here, but holy shit, the main character in this is such an insufferable jackass. He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea, to an insulting degree.
That sounds fucking terrible.
>>25970830
The whole story, "story," is nothing but asspull and wank. I'll give him points for persistence, but my Chili's chips and salsa shits have more narrative cohesion and thematic density than Diary.
>>25970866
Read it if you're a masochist.
Read it if you want to see how fandom can go Kathy Bates in Misery.
Read it if you want to feel good about writing something small, tight and well plotted.
But don't read it thinking it'll be a pleasant experience. At its best, it's a dry sodomization by Tyrone. At worst, it's much much worse.
>>25970867
HI WELCOME TO CHILLIES
>>25970479
Oh god, i favorited that and was 20 chapters in..
I only got in 5 chapters in diaries of a madman
>>25970867
>Chili's chips and salsa
Those are great.
>Chili's chips and salsa shits
I've cleared out a house with those. A big house, too. Like, around 3000sqft.
>>25970669
>Literally my favorite fanfic of any fandom. Have reread 3 times during sabbaticals between new chapters.
What's Love Got to Do with It?
>>25970962
What is love?
>>25956599
I feel like I vaguely remember your name. What did you write again?
>>25970970
Baby don't hurt me
>>25970970
I love those two, and the how to court an alicorn
Baby don't hurt me
>>25970566
>diaries-of-a-madman
You know, at least he's being honest with the title. Can't say you didn't know what you signed up for.
>>25970994
>>25970998
Don't hurt me.
>>25970962
What's love but a second hand emotion
>>25971022
POUR SOME SHOOK UP LEMONS
>>25970479
>What's Love Got to Do
>Check fimfiction
>544,990 word count
>>25970866
>He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea
So you're saying this is half a million words; longer than Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, and a Tale of Two Cities combined, worth of avoiding horse pussy?
>>25970566
>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/45860/diaries-of-a-madman
>1.85 million
I'm trying to come up with some kind of mental reference for that, but I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. Does not compute.
>>25971224
http://www.kopek-publishing.com/how-many-words.htm
Think Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series.
>>25971224
Yes, that is what it is.
>>25971281
forgot image. this is what about 2 million words looks like.
>>25971224
>>25971281
>>>25971224
>http://www.kopek-publishing.com/how-many-words.htm
>Think Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series.
>>25971321
Yeah, but WoT has more amusing sex and gender stereotypes than GoT. Though, in its defense, GoT has more food porn than anything else I've ever read.
Fucking PAGES about venison and leek soup.
I don't know what wheel of time is
>>25971368
>>25971321
Sirs, let our argument not become more autistic than the subject itself which started said discourse.
>>25971410
Fair enough.
>>25971410
>>25971454
Speaking of autistic, anyone know anything about the author? I seriously hope he's getting a disability pension
>>25971519
you know everything bad about AiE that people outside of AiE say about AiE?Put it all into a ball and you've got Nav.
Anyone remember Pale Narrator?
>>25971956
>Anyone remember Pale Narrator?
Of course. Did anyone save his pastebin before it got nuked?
>>25971956
Yup. Any idea what he's up to now?
>>25970667
Well said. Another literary series that turned to shit as more books were added? Frank Herbert's Dune. "Dune Messiah" and "Children of Dune" showed declining quality. From about 4th book on, it became clear that Frank was really more interested in writing cheap smut than science fiction.
inb4 ">>>/lit/"
>>25972102
http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Found some archives if anyone wants to read some stories.
Hate it when pastebin nukes stuff for no reason.
>>25972529
>>>25972102 (You)
>http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
>Found some archives if anyone wants to read some stories.
>Hate it when pastebin nukes stuff for no reason.
Wait, pastebin itself deletes stuff?
>>25972344
No, would like to at the very least know if he is still alive.
The first 100 AiE were awesome.
>>25972584
I dont know how pastebin works but one day while remembering a few writers i checked pastebin out and found nothing. Was gonna download them too for archiving since i at the time had a small NAS dedicated to this stuff.
>>25971956
>Anyone remember Pale Narrator?
>>25972344
>Yup. Any idea what he's up to now?
>>25972592
>No, would like to at the very least know if he is still alive.
Judging by how suddenly he disappeared, pretty sure he's trying his damndest to forget he ever wrote cartoon pony erotica.
>>25962277
unless you have the links you cant access them or am i wrong?
>>25949066
Does anyone know any Twilight and Anon stories that are cozy, cute, and lewd? Links to pastebins would be appreciated.
>>25972687
>>>25972584 (You)
>Was gonna download them too for archiving since i at the time had a small NAS dedicated to this stuff.
I hoard a lot of stuff for that reason now; double and triple backing up stories and pictures.
>>25972828
sorry, not at the computer to check my folders.
>>25972592
He also had a soundcloud where he put stuff up.
https://soundcloud.com/p-332
I think it has also been abandoned.
>>25972888
Please, help me get cozy....
>>25949558
>no buttquest
You're missing out, anon
>>25972911
I think a lot of writers have a moment of self-realization that they've been writing about a green dude fucking pastel ponies from a kids show.
That's why pastebin is littered with 70k or 80k long stories that were abandoned overnight.
>>25973043
I ALREADY HAVE TOO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON, ANON
Rock of love
FiT
Oher threads i forgot to visit
>>25973043
>>no buttquest
>You're missing out, anon
Buttquest? Evidently I missing out too
>>25973055
>writing about a green dude fucking pastel ponies
Eh, it's a pleasant enough diversion for a while, but yeah, it's not something I'd rather spend the rest of my life doing.
Is anyone dumping? No? Well, I guess I can give you all some new green then. Hope you like it.
>>25974089
>You be Anon, innaquestria
>You've been living in the town called Ponyville for about two years now.
>Most of your time was spent sleeping and trying desperately to do an art.
>There were no computers, TVs, or even internet here
>Which means that you couldn't spend your time shitposting on the internet.
>You kinda missed it.
>Especially since it meant jerking off to actual porn.
>Here, you had to take pictures with an old ass camera and try to jack off to that.
>Keyword being "Try."
>The ponies here in town didn't bother you too much
>Besides the purple one with wings and a horn.
>She would come and gripe every other day about how you, "needed to be more sociable."
>One of these days, you would greet her at the door with a butcher knife.
>If you had a butcher knife.
>Since you were an alien monkey thing, the ponies decided not to trust you with anything sharp.
>That damned purple pony probably told them about how you hurled numerous insults and curses every time she knocked at your door.
>And how you made sure that she knew that flipping someone off was a disrespectful thing in your culture.
>None of the other ponies bothered you, though.
>In fact, some were even helpful.
>Some of the citizens of this town pitched in, against purplecunt's will, to help build you a house.
>You still live in it today, of course.
>It was a nice-sized villa out on the edge of the town.
>You could still walk to the town square within ten minutes, but you were far enough away from town that you weren't bothered.
>You just wished that the purple one's tree castle wasn't right next door.
>There was also a white pony who would deliver some groceries every week.
>She never spoke, and she always had somewhat loud dubstep on in her headphones.
>But she always delivered about $100 dollars worth of food, every week.
>Without fail.
>You always made sure to say thank you and give her a warm smile before she left.
>You didn't ask her to do this
>But she did it anyways.
>>25974108
>You check your calendar
>It is Wednesday, my dudes.
>White Pone delivers groceries today.
>Thank god, because all you have left are two rotten tomatoes.
>There's also that watermelon that you jizzed in, but you're not gonna eat that.
>As you think about how hungry you are, you decide to take out your 53rd drawpad this week.
"What to draw..."
>You decide to draw a steak.
>This turns out to be a bad idea, as your stomach lets out a loud roar.
>You missed Steak.
>You missed Red Meat.
>Hell, you even miss Fish and Fried Chicken.
>Not eating meat for two years really makes a man depressed sometimes.
>You shudder and try not to think about how you'll never eat meat as long as you're here.
>What to draw...
>A Watermelon.
>No, a cherry.
>A cherry...
>grinch grin.gif
>You wonder why you didn't think of this before...
>Draw your own pone pr0nz!
"Anon, You're A FUCKING GENIUS!"
>Two minutes later...
"Wow this is fucking shit I can't even draw my own porn what the fuck am I going to do?"
>The drawing looked like a poorly drawn chimpanzee attached via an umbilical cord to some blob with headphones, glasses, and a horn.
>Sometimes your drawings were so bad that you wanted to fucking kill yourself.
>Oh well.
>After laying down on your couch for a while, you think about what you're doing with your free time.
>You've been grappling with the idea of writing instead of trying to draw.
>You then tell yourself what you usually do at the thought of exchanging drawing and writing.
>Your stories would probably be just as bad as your "art."
>Good god you needed something to do.
>You were starting to sound like some emo high schooler.
>And you weren't even talking.
>Regaining your wits, you walk to the courtyard.
>The fact that you have a goddamned courtyard baffles you sometimes.
>Sitting down in the lone lawn chair, you check the time.
>But I just sat down.gif
>White pone was supposed to get here pretty soon.
>You go stand at the door and wait for your groceries to get there.
>>25974133
>All the while thinking about Earth.
>Your life back home.
>You kinda miss it.
>But at the same time, fuck that place.
>Yes, there were some good times that you'll never get to have in Equestria.
>But at the same time, the city you lived in was teeming with people with sticks up their asses.
>Best to forget about them.
>The door rings, and you open it to find your groceries.
>She's walking away, so you make sure to holler out a thank you.
>As usual, she nods and turns the corner to head into town.
>God, you're lonely.
>You stoop down to collect your food for the week, when you spot something at the bottom of the pile of stuff.
>It's a ticket to something.
>Examining it closer, you find that it's for a special orchestra group performance.
>You didn't know that they had orchestra here...
>You should go to more events sometime.
>Further examining the ticket, you find that the performance is tomorrow.
>How perfectly convenient.
>You put the ticket aside and sort through your groceries.
>Amongst them, you find a tuxedo.
"Wait, what the hell?"
>You sure didn't expect this to happen.
"How the hell did she manage to find a tuxedo that would fit me?"
>Seeing as this could be somewhat useful, you try it on.
wait for it...
>It fits to perfection.
"How? How?!?!?! HOW!??!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!?!?"
>Deciding not to question it for now, you get to the rest of the items that the helpful mare brought you that week.
>>25974147
And that's all, folks! Stay tuned for the next one!not like you're gonna leave this place or anything...
pastebin links below:
http://pastebin.com/RwieZZfK
http://pastebin.com/u/Newshit_Writefriend
Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe.
I've had Una Nota Dolce(http://pastebin.com/u/MisterElGuapo)recommended several times, what's the correct order for reading it? I've heard conflicting advise that parts of it aren't related & a half-hearted sequel to avoid.
Looking at it I'm thinking its Una Nota Dolce 1-13, with the following chapters not really a part of the main story?
Also, for anyone who followed ElGuapo, how are Broken Wings & Second Chances? Looks like Broken Wings was finished, not sure about Second Chances.
>>25974195
Broken Wings is great senpai, definitely would recommend.
Second Chances, though, I've not read.
>>25974195
Una Nota Dolce 1 - 13 are canon
>>25974211
>Broken Wings is great senpai, definitely would recommend.
You're a good man, and thorough (A Dashie story I assume?).
>>25974227
> Una Nota Dolce 1 - 13 are canon
Excellent, that clears it up
>>25974290
prepare yourself forthe feelsi actually cried
>>25974290
Actually... Appuljeck kinda gets into the story a bit, if I remember correctly. Anon can't get his... woah wait I'm giving too much away.
>>25974348
actually, the story is about apple horse
>>25974382
>just as I start reading it
yes, anon. Itpartiallyis.
>”HEY FRANK, I NEED A PAN-FRIED HEART ATTACK AND A LAWNMOWER’S SPECIAL!”
I've forgotten some of the keks I had reading this one.
>>25974397
>just as I start reading it
then you should drink a lot of water becauseyou will need it for the tears
>>25974343
>>25974348
>>25974382
appreciate it, I'll add it & Una Nota Dolce to my queue & archive. Not sure about Second Chances, haven't seen an indication it was finished.
Not sure about anything else in his bin either
>>25974464
I know anon, I know. I'm rereading it, that's all.
>>25974499
i would re-read it buti can carry all of these feels
>>25971956
>>25972102
>>25972584
Pale nuked his bin? Dam, I liked Drury Lane's first run. Listening to some of his old theme songs reminds me of some aie shit I forgot. After wall, who the fuck /is/ Zuul?
Anyone unlucky enough to rember drunken hearted?
I am. My heart hurts.
>>25974642
>>>25971956
>>>25972102
>>>25972584
>Pale nuked his bin? Dam, I liked Drury Lane's first run. Listening to some of his old theme songs reminds me of some aie shit I forgot. After wall, who the fuck /is/ Zuul?
Someone had to have saved it
>>25970295
Anon has consistently proven his only real talents are fighting and taking pain like a man. All his plans fall apart almost instantly because he's retarded in practically every other field. Still I guess who needs a ruler that's actually good at their job as long as you have the physical embodiment of determination looking out for you?
>>25972828
http://pastebin.com/uWS2s2pY
>>25954187
>cyoa's probably still around somewhere
Oh damn, didnt think anybody still remembered my name. But yes, around,just sadly not here.
>>25972344
>>25972592
>>25972778I actually talk to Pale fairly oftenHe said that if he regrets nuking his bin, but I never asked why he did it in the first place.He more or less had real life catch up with him and was forced to become a functioning member of society as far as where he is now.
>>25970566
I kinda enjoyed it until it went into the perma gender change to a female, fetish fuel, making Spike a love interest... that totally killed it for me.
Nav's older stuff such as "Pimp Rarity" was funny with the right amount of sexy.
>>25972438
we weren't correlating word count to quality, rather word count to autism. Martin and Jordan were mentioned to visualize what 2M words of autism looks like in print.
>>25977892
>we weren't correlating word count to quality, rather word count to autism. Martin and Jordan were mentioned to visualize what 2M words of autism looks like in print.
Exactly. And what took Jordan a lifetime, this guy has written it in less than 5 years. I'm not knocking it, it obviously brings happiness to a lot of people, but it's a screaming pile of autism.
>>25978143
Yup. Just because I've blown more loads jerking off than DiCaprio has fucking Giselle does not make my position more enviable.
In point of fact, quite the opposite.
>>25976460
>was forced to become a functioning member of society.
Understandable, it happens to all writefags.
Eventually even FlutterPriest will fade into the west.
>He said that if he regrets nuking his bin, but I never asked why he did it in the first place.
To write all he did, stories that meant a lot to his readers, and to just erase them.
That's a serious sign of regret, embarrassment, and just not giving a fuck about his readers.
>>25970566
>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/45860/diaries-of-a-madman
>>25970866
>the main character in this is such an insufferable jackass. He's constantly bombarded by mares trying to get in his pants even though he's a relentlessly pessimistic and self pitying asshole who's openly disgusted by the idea, to an insulting degree.
Isn't Discord the main character, or at least Discord in another body?
a while back someone did a chrysalis cyoa where celestia got kidnapped, anyone remember who did it?
>>25977892
>>25978143
who are martin and jordan?
>>25977310
what is this gender change part of?
>>25977892
That correlation doesn't actually work either. How much has CWC written? Outside of trying to get the Social Security Administration to give him more money, I mean...
>>25978865
Wait you can get money for writefagging?
>>25974190
It's okay, keep going.
>>25969140
You too.
>>25969065
And you.
>>25979074
There used to be a whole industry based around paying for writefagging back before the internet made it obsolete.
They printed it out on paper, because they didn't have tablets back then.
>"Lyra, for the last time, there is no such thing as humans!"
>"But there is! Dont you see him? He's all around us." She panics looking side to side.
>She looks around at all the other ponies searching wildly before seeing you, magical human Anon dancing and shaking your butt.
"Ooga booga booga, where the white women at?"
>"AH! There he is!" She shouts pointing as BonBon and Berry look, and see nothing where you stand.
>They look back and shake their heads as BonBon narrows her eyes, "Lyra, come back when you're ready to act like an adult."
>They walk off as Lyra yells "But I AM an adult! He's right bucking there!"
>She cries to herself as you stand before her and dance in place as a small voice calls out to her, "Ah see him Lyra."
>Lyra sniffles and looks to the side to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo "Y.you do?"
>She nods with a smile before looking side to side and whispering "He's your imaginary friend right? Maybe he can play with mine."
>Lyra sighs and gets up sadly walking away, "Its ok, forget it." As she does, Sweetie Belle raises an eyebrow to Applebloom.
>”Are you stupid? He’s right there, wearing that ugly black suit.” Lyra stops in shock as Applebloom argues with Sweetie.
>”He’s not wearing a black suit, its obviously a clown costume.”
>Lyra dives in and pushes AB aside to grab Sweetie, “You can see him!? Like, REALLY see him!?”
>”Yeah, he’s right there, dancing.”
“Holy shit, she CAN see me.”
>”Yeah.” Sweetie says to you as Lyra shakes her.
>”You can HEAR him!?” Sweetie nods as Lyra hugs her tightly, “Oh thank you! Thank you! But..how? How can you see him and nopony else?”
>”I dun know.” Sweetie shrugs as AB thinks this over.
>”Hey, lets ask Twilight, she knows everythin.”
>Scootaloo jumps in “Yeah!”
>>25979610
>At the library, Lyra and Sweetie Belle sit on an examination table as Scoots and AB sit across the room looking as Twilight looks over them and reads assorted books, “Well, there is nothing medically causing you to see things that are not there. But..”
>”But what?” Lyra asks as she continues.
>”But there was one thing I found in my research of an old mares tale. Umm welllll…apparently humans were regarded as mythical creatures at one point, and…could only be seen and were actually drawn to uhh..vigin filly unicorns.”
>Sweetie Belle nods as Lyra looks forward crushed before hanging her head, “Oh, I see…” She waits a moment before looking at Twi, “Um, can you..?”
>”Huh? Oh, uh no, not at all, I uhh haha, when I met Flash and all.”
>”Oh..then I guess that explains why me and Sweetie can see him.” She sighs and slides off the table before trotting away angrily and muttering “THIS is what I get for saving myself for somep0ny special? Buck this, Im gonna go grab Big Mac and..”
>As she trots off, Sweetie looks at you and smiles “Hey, you wanna be my magical invisible friend?”
“Huh? Oh thanks for the offer, but I still got a mare to bother for now.”
>”Oh, ok. Find me when she finds Big Mac.” She smiles getting up and leaving with her friends as you stay there as Twilight cleans up.
>You smirk and look towards Twi.
“Flash huh? God damn liar.”
>Twilight slams a shelf closed and blushes “S.shut up! Its better than being the only virgin princess in Equestria!”
“Oh I wouldn’t say that, Luna’s in the forever alone club too.”
>Today was a reverse unicorn kind of day.
>>25979610
>>25979619
This is amusing on the surface and sad when you think about it. Good green, anon.
>>25972807
I'll unhide them. There's no reason for them to be hidden, I guess. I do want to take the story in a different direction in a re-write but that'll never happen.
>>25979619
Do you think Luna just starts crying when she sees Anon? He just reminds her of how alone she is after all.
>"Owowowowowowo! Stop dabbing so bucking hard Spike!"
>You flinched as Rarity dressed your wounds
"Rainbow, what did I tell you about swearing in front of Spike?" you growled, snapping at your herd mate. "You know that- Celestia dammit!"
>Rarity let out an amused giggle as you hissed in pain, putting the finishing touches on the bandage on your head
>It was the day after the absolute flank kicking that you had gotten the other day and BOY were you hurting
>Everything ached, you had welts from the tip of your bucking snout to the end of your tail, and your head hurt like a motherbucker
>The only solace that you had--even though it was more than a little petty-- was that you weren't the only one hurting today
>There were thirty other mares getting bandaged up by their herd mates
>Some of whom were probably getting a little chuckle at how you all acquired these wounds
>Just like Rarity here...
>Your wings twitch as Rarity began to wrap a gauze around your barrel, an amused smile on her face
>"Well, I hope that you've all learned your lesson, dearies," she said, obviously trying not to laugh. "Tartarus hath no fury like an angry stallion."
"Yeah, yeah, you keep laughing it up, Rarity," you muttered. "You'll be laughing when that crazy stallion comes back into town and beats YOU with a stick."
>THAT shut the overgrown marshmallow up, Rarity's nose scrunching up as she saw to your wounds
>Spike, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke up
>"I told you that he wanted to be left alone, Twi."
>Rainbow let out a string of profanities as he tied the bandage around her hoof up a little too tight
>"If you would have just listened to me none of this would have happened..."
>The hurt that came into his voice as he said this hits you in the gut, prompting you to get up from your stool to walk over to the little guy
>Owowowowowowowowowowowo
>Buckbuckbuckbuckbuck
>Fightthroughthepainyoubigbaby!
>>25980608
>Showthatyou'reagoodbigsister!
>Though it feels like it takes a million years to walk the ten feet over to Spike eventually you do
>Wincing, you sat down in front of him
"You know what Spike? You were right," you tell the dragon, slowly wrapping a wing around him.
>...Ow
"I shouldn't have blown you off like that. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry for it."
>Though he still looked upset Spike leaned into your wing
>Wincing again you tightened your wing hug
>You know that Spike and Anonymous had somehow formed a friendship
>You knew that Spike didn't have very many stallion friends, and the ones that he did weren't very good influences
>And while Anon was usually the biggest dickhead in the world to you and most other ponies he treated your little brother like he was HIS little brother
>In turn Spike had latched onto the giant stallion
>That was one of the main reasons why you wanted Anonymous to stay in bucking town and not run around the forest like a wild man
>Wanting to get into those pants of his aside
>If he was around Spike a little more, being big and lumbering and angry like he always was, he might show Spike how to be a good--if slightly angry-- stallion that could look after himself
>With a look he'd keep a gold digging or power hungry mare from trying to snatch up your baby brother
>From what Spike told you Anonymous knew a heck of a lot about dragons, so he might be able to help him with the birds and the bees as well as dragon puberty
>You liked to think that you did pretty good for Spike
>But you were just a mare; a very busy mare that didn't know who to trust with Spike
>And while you didn't care for Anon all that much, especially with what happened the other day, you knew you could trust Spike with him
>But as of now the two barely interacted with each other
>Anonymous only came to town once or twice a month and when he came into town he usually didn't come to the library unless he needed a new book
>>25980625
>Spike wasn't getting the big, strong, supportive brother that he needed
>And, putting your selfish reasons aside, just think about Anon
>Living in a dangerous forest with nopony to talk to but the trees probably wasn't good for him
>And what if he got hurt in that forest and nopony was around to help him?
>Even if he was willing to die because he was being stubborn you weren't going to accept it
>He needed to interact with some ponies, he needed to be able to go to sleep in a safe, warm place
>He needed to be taken care of or at the very least he needed to be close enough so that you all could keep an eye out for him
>It didn't even matter if he found himself a herd or not (though that would have been great too), he just needed to come and live closer to civilization
>And since you contacted the other princesses hopefully they'd be able to either help you convince him or force him into see your point of view
>...But first you were still going to insist that Anon get punished for beating the horse apples out of all of you
>Twilight Sparkle ain't getting smacked around by no stallion without that stallion getting smacked back
>...Or at least brought to justice...
>"...I know that you just want to keep him safe, Twi, but Anon just wants to be left alone," the little dragon muttered
>You wrapped your wing a little tighter around him, nuzzling his cheek
"And what if he got hurt, Spike? What if he got sick and nopony was around to help him?" you asked as Spike let out a sigh. "I know that you might not agreed with what I was trying to do but it was for Anon's own good."
>...Celestia dammit does your bucking flank hurt...
>"I think I'll be the judge of that, Twilight."
>If you weren't so bucking hurt you would have jumped out of your fur as somepony stuck their muzzling into your ear and whispered those eight words
>But you were bucked up
>>25980640
>You had bruises on your bruises
>So, instead of jumping and yelling like a crazy pony, you slowly turned your head
>There, somehow standing in your living room, was both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
>Your fellow princesses were right there and you hadn't gotten a warning so you could clean up the castle or get them tea and cakes or even--
>Princess Celestia, you teacher, giggled when she saw your expression
>"Now, now Twilight, there's no need to work yourself up. My sister and I aren't here with any official business."
>The white alicorn looked at your herd mates, who were bowing, in amusement
>"And there's no need to bow my little ponies. Please, stand up. Stand up!"
>Rainbow and Rarity does as she asked while you took a few deep breaths to calm yourself
>You didn't expect Luna and Celestia to come so quickly...
>And you might have been a little freaked out that they just APPEARED in your house...
>But this was good!
>Now you could nip this whole mess with Anon in the bud before it got any worse!
>A small, relieved smile works its way onto your face
"Thank goodness you're here, Princess. I had no idea what to do about all of this..."
>Celestia smiled
>"Luna and I are happy to help," she said, looking over to her sister, who nodded in agreement. "Now, Twilight dear, why don't you start from the beginning?"
>>25980657
>Be Celestia
>It had been quite some time since you and Luna had let yourselves in Twilight's home
>You, your sister, Spike, Twilight, and two of the other elements were seated comfortably in chairs as Twilight and the other girls told you all about what was going on
>Spike, ever the gentledrake, had gotten you tea, some cakes, and he had even went out and collected a few of the mares that Twilight had taken with her to collect Anonymous
>Both you and Luna had sat there listening to mare after mare tell the story of what happened for most of the morning
>Every single filly that was brought before you looked like she had walked through Tartarus during lunch time
>Bruises were common, as were welts
>A few mares were missing teeth and feathers
>And once or twice you had insisted that mare do to the hospital to get herself looked over
>But their voices were strong as they said what they needed to say
>Apparently Anonymous hadn't gotten along with your little ponies from the beginning
>After only a week he had left your ex-student's house, he had acquired an axe and a knife from somewhere, and had taken up residence in the Everfree, only coming into town once in a blue moon to get some supplies
>Every time he came into town he was aggressive to everypony that he talked to, he spoke only when he had to, and from what you gathered he was prone to threaten and snap at anyone that tried to be around him for any length of time
>All of this had come to a head when your student had gotten the bright idea of forcing Anonymous to live in town
>While you appreciate your old student's enthusiasm in helping others it wasn't hard to see that she had gone a little overboard
>While you agreed that something needed to be done with Anon forcing him to do something that he wasn't comfortable with or unwilling to do was NOT something that a Princess of Equestria should be doing
>>25980673
>After all of this nonsense was settled you were going to make sure that you spoke to her about that...
>That being said, after you had collect all of the testimonies-- including a rather passionate one from Spike defending Anon-- there was just one more thing you and your sister needed to do
>You had gotten one side of the story
>Now it was time to get the other
"Alright, Twilight. I do believe that my sister and I have heard enough."
>With a grunt you rose to your hooves, finishing the last sip of tea and taking another little bite out of a cake
>Your sister stood with you, an almost irritated look on her face
"Now we'll go and see what's got Anonymous in such a tissy."
>Your old student gulped, turning a shade paler
>"Are you sure that it's such a good idea for just the two of you to go?" she questioned. "What if he goes after you too?"
>"Then we shall answer his violence with violence of our own," Luna answered before you could open your mouth
>Your sister narrowed her eyes and snorted
>"If Anonymous thinks us easy prey than We shall be happy to show him otherwi--oof!"
"What my sister means to say is that we'll do our best to make sure that nopony is going to attack anypony else," you say as your sister rubs her side. "I'm sure that this is all some sort of horrible misunderstand that can be solved if everypony just sits down and talks to each other."
>"If the colt charges at us with a stick we are GOING to beat him with it, Tia," your little sister grumbled just loud enough for you to hear, glaring at you
>Unfurling a wing you cupped her face and all but forced her to turn toward the door
"Not in front of the children, Luna."
>Winking at your most trusted ex-student you turn and make your way to the door
>There was no need to teleport out of the castle
>You and Luna were in no hurry
>You'd have this solved by dinner time; there was no need to go rushing into the forest like a couple of crazy ponies
>>25980689
>You said hello to a few of your subjects as you made your way through the small little village
>You inspected and praised a few ponies wares
>Luna said hello to a few of the little ones and promised to play a game of tag with them after the two of you were finished
>And then, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, you and your sister found yourselves standing in front of the Everfree forest
>You couldn't help but shiver slightly as you gaze at the ancient vine and moss covered plants
>Long ago you had looked at this forest in wonder, and even after all of these years this wild place, this... FREE place was still able to make the fur on the back of your neck stand up
>It made you feel small
>Not many things were still able to do that
>Not many things at all...
>The majesty of the forest seemed lost on your sister however, as she was just looking around in disinterest
>"Where did thy student say that path to the human's house was?" she asked, brushing past you. "We recall that she said something about marked-- aw, there it is."
>Following your sister's gaze you see that one of the tree's had had the bark taken off of it
>The marks look deliberate, like somepony had done them with an axe
>Deeper into the forest there more trees in such a state
"It would be more difficult to see these marked trees in the winter but it's a very good idea," you say as you and Luna follow the "path" into the forest
>"Aye, tis not something that we would have thought of," Luna admitted, her ears perked for any signs of danger. "It appears that Anonymous has his head on straight. Odd for a stallion of this day and age."
>Surprisingly none of the Everfree's many creatures tried to attack you, making for the walk into the forest an almost pleasant one
>Many of the vines and plants that made walking in the forest difficult had been cleared, so the two of you didn't even have to cut your way through to get to the human's home
>>25980705
>And in a place like the Everfree, where some plants grew overnight, that was one heck of luxury
>Anonymous must have quite a bit of time on his hands if he was able to maintain this path of his...
>Eventually you could see smoke above the treeline and after a few more minutes of walking you came upon a clearing
>And the second you and Luna stepped out into the clearing you were greeted with one heck of a sight
>The clearing was massive, at least an acre or even two long and wide
>There was a massive wooden house sitting in the middle of this plot of land with two other wooden structures sitting on either side of it
>In front of the house there were three rows of dirt that were probably intended for crops
>In front of that was a pile of fallen trees that had had the branches hacked off
>Building materials if you had to guess
>Dozens of other small but significant things filled your vision as you looked over Anonymous's "property"
>Luna let out a low whistle
>"The colt must have cut a thousand trees down," she muttered
>You nodded slowly
"Cut a thousand trees down, fought the wildlife, and moved a mountain of dirt," you added, letting your amazement wash over you
>A group of powerful unicorns would have had trouble building all of this in the Everfree forest
>You couldn't, for the life of you, imagine how difficult it must have been for Anonymous
>Now you could see why he had resisted Twilight bringing him back to down with such fervor
>You could have fought tooth and nail if you had managed to build all of this and somepony wanted you to throw it all away...
"I wonder how he managed to build that cabin all by himself; and out here in this forest no less."
>You and Luna just stand there for a few moments taking in the rather incredible sight before a certain emotion begins to fill your chest
>Excitement
>It looked like this was going to be far more interesting than you had imagined!
>Grinning, you nudged your sister with a wing
>>25980720
"Come now, Luna, we have a stallion to speak to!"
>If you wanted to speak to Anonymous before now you REALLY wanted to have a chat with him!
>Your sister struggles to keep up with you as you powertrot toward the big log cabin
>To your delight you see that the one who had been causing all of this fuss was sitting on his porch with a open book in his hands and a pipe in his mouth
>...Is...
>Is that tobacco that he's smoking?
>It's been an age since you've seen anypony smoke...
>Anonymous, who hadn't noticed you yet so engrossed with was he in his book, exhaled a puff of smoke through his nostrils as he grumbled to himself
>On the walk through the forest you had decided that you needed the introductions to be slow and gentle
>No appearing out of thin air
>No yelling or stomping around destroying anything
>You and Luna just needed to get Anon's attention and you needed to start with a simple good afternoon and a how do you do
>Unfortunately, after seeing all that Anon had built, you had forgotten to inform Luna about your plan of action
>"ANONYMOUS! We would have words with thee!"
>You sighed as Anon's head whipped up to look at you
>His eyes narrowed and he reached down to grab the worn out, chipped axe sitting at his leg as he spat out his pipe
"There's no need for that, Anon!" you said just a little too loudly. "My sister and I are only here to talk."
>"I am NOT leaving my home to live in that thrice-cursed town," he growled
"We aren't going to force you anywhere that you don't want to go, Anon," you promised, doing your best to look as small and non threatening as possible. "We're just here to talk. You have my word."
>Boy, Twilight's wasn't wrong when she said that Anonymous was being overly aggressive
>He just sees you and he's ready to take your heads off
>Though you couldn't really blame him
>The last mares that had come around his house had tried to burn it down...
>Both you and Luna watched as the human looked at the two of you with narrowed eyes
>>25980737
>...Before he let out a sigh
>"...I have no quarrel with you, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna," he grunted, putting his. axe down "But I am not in the mood for dealing with ponies. Come back in a few days if you wish to speak with me."
>Luna frowned as Anonymous reopened his book and started to scan the pages again
>"Anonymous the human, We hath heard from Twilight Sparkle and many other ponies from Ponyville that thou attacked them. Though thou wish to be left alone we cannot fulfill thy wish until we hear what transpired."
>"No. Go away," Anon answered, licking his finger and flipping the page
>"I'm afraid that we must insist--"
>"Insist somewhere else. I've have a belly full of royals for a while."
>Anon waved in the direction that you and Luna had come from
>"Now leave me be before I bend you over my knee and beat you with my axe
>You tried to open your mouth to try to ease the obvious tension in the air but Luna cut you off
>Scoffing, you little sister looked over at a monstrous tree stump not five feet away from the two of you
>Her horn sparked to life, encasing the stump in her magic
"Luna, ple--"
>You deflate a little when you sister, glaring at Anonymous with her nose scrunched up, ripped the stump out of the ground roots and all
>...Sweet stars above Luna...
>"We are NOT Twilight Sparkle, cretin. We will not just stand idly by while they run at us with thy hunk of iron."
>She then ripped the stump in half like it was a dried twig and tossed both of the halves away from the two of you
>"If thou wish to throw a hissy fit we shall gladly show thee thy place."
>Anon looked up from his book
>His eyebrow raised as he looked at the torn apart stump
>You expected him to look angry; you probably wouldn't have been too happy with Luna's behavior if you were him
>But he just looked... bored?
>>25980752
>"I've been trying to get that damned stump out of the ground for weeks," he said, looking your sister up and down before he returned to his book. "I'll have to chop it up for firewood later. You have my thanks."
>Luna opened her mouth but you snapped it shut with a spell
>No no no
>You didn't want to hear anything else come out of that filly's pie hole
>She's already done more than enough thank you very much
>Though he looked bored you could see that Anon's muscles were tensed
>He was ready to spring into action; ready to launch himself at you and your sister
>You had to defuse the situation now or something might happen that all of you will regret
"Are you sure that you don't want to speak with us?" you asked the human
>"I'm positive," he answered without missing a beat
>Well... this wasn't turning out like you hoped...
>Your mind raced, trying to think of a way to turn this all around
>You mentally fumbled for a few moments before you sat on your haunches with a sigh
"Very well then. My sister and I shall wait until you are ready to speak with us."
>"What?!" Luna cried before you slammed that big mouth of her's shut, smiling as Anonymous looked up at you
>Though you could see irritation in his eyes he didn't did up to force you to leave
>Which was something
>"...I will not tell you how to spend your time, even if you wish to waste it."
>With a slight shake of his head he returned to his book
>"As long as you leave me be then you can sit there and wait as long as you wish."
>...Not how you thought this was going to go but you'll take it!
>Anything to get your hoof in the door
>Fixing your sister with a "just be quiet and go along with it" look you settle in and begin your least favorite game of all time
>The waiting game
>Eventually Anonymous would take either get annoyed enough or he'd take pity on you and start talking
>You just knew it
>All you and Luna had to do was sit back and wait
>>25980773
>...And wait
>...And wait
>...And wait some more
>You don't know how long you and your sister just sat there in front of Anonymous's porch while the stallion sat there and read
>It might have been minutes, it could have been hours
>Your sister was amusing herself by using her magic to juggle three pebbles in the air
>You were sure sitting there looking at the scenery bored out of your mind
>It appeared that you had underestimated Anonymous's ability to ignore you
>But you couldn't back down
>You and Luna were going to sit here all night if you needed to!
>And SPEAKING of your little sister...
>You were going to give Luna SUCH a talking to when you got home
>If she didn't go and snap at him maybe you could have talking Anon into...
>Though you're just letting your mind run on autopilot at this point a movement from Anonymous catches your eye
>Taking a moment to get a good look at him you see that his face is scrunched up in frustration
>But it wasn't because of you and Luna
>His mouth was moving, and if you didn't know any better you'd say that he was trying to...
>Getting up you started to make your way toward Anonymous
"Anon? Is there something wrong?"
>You could feel your sister's gaze as you stepped onto the human's porch but you ignored it, keeping your gaze on the stallion in front of you
>Though you were a princess first most of your days were spent teaching at Starswirl's School for Gifted Unicorns
>Nothing brightened your day more than to teach little ones the ways of magic
>And while you knew that you weren't the greatest teacher in the whole world you knew when somepony was struggling with something when you saw it
>Anon's eyes snapped up to meet yours just as you sat down beside him
>You ignored the anger building on his face to look at the book
"Are you having trouble with a word?" you asked, quickly reading one of the pages. "I'd be more than happy to help you with you'd like."
>>25980787
>Confusion replaced anger as Anon stared at you
>You simply continued to smile back at him
"Though I don't look it I've done my fair share of teaching, Anonymous."
>To further cement that you meant no harm you levitated Anon's pipe off the ground and back into his mouth
"So please, show me what's giving you trouble."
>Anonymous looked down at his book
>You could see that he was debating on what to do
>He could toss the book away and charge you
>He could let you help him
>It was a toss up at this point
>The only thing you could do was sit there and smile and hope
>"...What is this word?" he asked, tilting the book so that you could read it easier as he pointed out the word
>Hah
>Got him
"That word is oxidation, Anon."
>Anonymous's nose scrunched up as he silently mouthed the word over and over again
>While he was doing that you beckoned your sister with a wing
>No use for her to just be sitting on the ground while you were here
>You were use that Anon wouldn't mind if she made herself comfortable on that stool over there
>"Ox-i-da-tion. Oxi-da-tion. Oxidation. Oxidation."
>The smile on your face grew and grew as Anon's confidence with the word grew each time he said it until he was smiling himself
>"Oxidation."
>He looked up at you, the suspicion and anger that was once on his face gone
>"What does the word mean?"
>Out of the corner of your eye you saw Luna settling herself in the stool
>Clearing your throat you made yourself as comfortable as you could
>You had a feeling that you were going to be here a while
"Well, you see, oxidation happens when..."
>>25980806
I'm done
>>25979719
Why sad Anon?
>>25980563
Would explain why he isnt bothering her if anything.
>>25980856
>Why sad Anon?
Because once the mares pop their cherry, they won't be able to see anon anymore. Anon will constantly be losing friends. To say nothing of the fact that if he were to throw any of them the D, that would be what separates them forever.
So neat but sad.
>>25980818
>I'm done
damn you i wanted more, but i guess i'll have to wait
