>"Human. I demand that you take me for my walk."
>>25934466
It's not time yet. Go lay down.
>>25934466
"Alright, there's the window."
>"No, not like thiiiiiiis!"
>You give her the boot
>The BIG boot
>THIS SATURDAY NIGHT AT WWE SUPER SLAM
>>25934466
You must eat 5 kilograms of testicles first
>>25934492
>Super Slam
>>25934526
>image.gif
>>25934526
No black guy, it is not time to slam nor is it time to jam.
>>25934539
What?
>>25934561
Uploading a file as a GIF when it's a still image is retarded.
>>25934539
File extensions are my fetish
>>25934466
>"No, you take me for a walk for a change!"
>>25934466
>>25934597
Are you the mad?
>>25934466
"I just gave you one this morning. You'll just have to wait."
>The small horse just stares at you with her usual unamused look.
>Whatever. You're used to it by now.
>She remains sitting on the floor next to you as you eat your sandwich.
>"Human."
"What?"
>"I demand food."
"I just fed you."
>"I'm still hungry."
>You sigh.
"Taking care of you is going to make me go broke faster than you can say 'fuck me in the ass.'"
>She raises an eyebrow and cocks her head to the side.
>"You are a vulgar one, human. Give me your sandwich and I will forgive you for your crudeness."
"Forgiveness for a sandwich?"
>You look at your half-eaten lunch, then at her.
>She's still staring intently at you, her eyes not even blinking.
"Knock yourself out, you silly horse."
>You hold the sandwich next to her and she cautiously sniffs it.
>Satisfied, she then gently grabs it with her mouth and trots triumphantly away.
>"Ahh ih forhihen."
>'All is forgiven,' in sandwich speak.
"I guess I can sleep easy now," you say to yourself and finish the rest of your water.
>>25935187
Lyra would be the kind of dogpony to always be overly excited and lick your face.
>>25934466
You, YOU giving ME orders bitch I carry a whole fucking team on payday 2 all the nice things and the home you've got, their MINE!
You'd be nothing without me, NOTHING
>>25935187
________________________________
>"Human."
"What now?"
>"My ears are itchy. Scratch them."
"Can it wait? I need to finalize this order."
>"No. This is an urgent matter."
"Yeah, well if I can't do my job, then we'll both be homeless. How does that sound?"
>Why did you think it would be a good idea to actually participate in the whole 'bring your pet to work' thing?
>You leave your seat to grab some more paper, only to come back to a small horse sitting on your keyboard.
"Bon Bon, get off."
>"Scratch my ears."
"Get off, I said."
>"Scratch my ears."
>You should've picked another pony at the store.
>With a sigh, you reach out a hand and rub the back of her ears with your fingers. She closes her eyes and leans into your head as you massage her scalp. Probably the closest thing you'll ever get to a smile.
"Good enough?"
>"It was mediocre, but otherwise satisfactory."
>Whatever.
>Bon Bon gets on all fours and trots off your keyboard, leaving you to clean up the draft about an order to the Equestrian Transportation Co.quITV]3wq0it4790238CQR[0EFMOP SNDH y8943myt4320]4pniwtehrgkjdhskzjfhg\340yu3w7459]er[]1-8`091uewbb
>Then suddenly, a voice behind you.
>"Oh my gosh! Is that a pony?"
>You turn around to see a coworker with her eyes sparkling like diamonds.
>"It's soooooo cute!"
>Bon Bon, as usual, does not return the enthusiasm.
"Hey, Stacy."
>"Can I pet it? I've always wanted one!"
"Go ahead. Hell, take it home if you want."
>Stacy bends over and ruffles Bon Bon's head, much to her annoyance.
>"I do not appreciate having my mane rustled."
>"Ohhh, I'm so sorry, uhhh..."
"Bon Bon."
>"I'm so sorry, Bon Bon. You're just so adorable!"
>"I also do not appreciate the condescending flattery, human. Ponies and humans are equal."
>"Ooooh, is that so?" Stacy asks, giving you a wink. "In that case, I completely agree with you. I'll see you around, Anon and Bon Bon!"
>She leaves, and the pone watches her go with unamused eyes.
>>25935473
>You go back to typing on your keyboard when you feel yourself being watched once again.
>"Human."
"What?"
>"The other human messed up my mane. It requires brushing."
"Now?"
>"Yes."
>At this point, there's no use in fighting her.
>You turn your chair around to face your pet holding a brush in her mouth. Where she got it, you have no idea.
>She places it onto your outstretched hand and gently hops onto your lap, turning around so that she's facing away from you.
>You pick up part of her flowing mane with one hand and start brushing it out with the other, reminding yourself never to take her to work again.
>Yep. You're definitely not going home early.
>>25935485
Where would a pet Bonbon sleep? On the floor in a box like Spike? On the couch?With you? [\spoiler]
>>25935533
She'd curl up over your lap in bed.
I demand a lyra pet story please
>>25935485
>>25935533
________________________________
>It's late. You're tired. Time for bed.
>You lazily stretch as you drag yourself into your bedroom and onto your bed, burying yourself underneath the warm covers.
>Sleep start to wash over your fatigued body, but the sound of the creaking door snaps you back to full consciousness.
"What?"
>"My bed isn't sufficient."
"What's wrong with it?"
>"It's too small."
"You're a small pony."
>She doesn't respond, instead hopping onto the bed and under the sheets.
>You can feel the weight on the mattress shift ever so slightly as she makes her way to you.
"The bed is mine. Go find somewhere else to sleep."
>"No," a muffled voice says from under the blankets.
"Please?"
>"No."
"I'll give you a treat."
>"No."
>You feel a sudden weight on your chest and her head pops out from under the covers, her nose inches from yours.
"Come on, Bon Bon. I need to sleep."
>"Then sleep."
>She rests her head on your chest as she balances her small frame on you, breathing out a long sigh and slowly closing her eyes.
"Bon Bon?"
>No answer.
>You think about moving her off, but decide against it.
>Just for one night.
>Sleep soon overtakes you, and you also close your eyes, but not before giving her warm, fuzzy ears a small scratch.
"Goodnight, Bon Bon."
>"...Goodnight, human."
>>25935620
Too cute, man. What does she do by herself all day when Anon's at work?
>>25936328
I can imagine a tiny Bon Bon in a collar chewing on a squeak bone while she muses over the secrets of life, the universe and everything.
>>25936328
posts pictures of what she is doing at home on instagram.
most of the pictures are either about food or her human being dumb.
>>25936328
Sleep in a patch of sunlight.
>>25936421
>"Once again the human has mistakenly provided regular cheez-its instead of the green Tabasco flavor I requested.
>"At this point, I have to wonder if perhaps he is legitimately affected by a learning disorder instead of being merely inattentive to the needs and comfort of others.
>"Perhaps coming home to a well chewed pair of loafers will provide the impetus he needs to change."
>>25934492
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LitDGyxFh4
>>25936328
Write a diary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk
>>25936328
Wait for him to come home
>>25934466
HOLY SHIT A TALKING HORSE.
>>25938313
>"Dear Diary, today the human has rubbed my belly two times instead of the usual three. I hopped onto his lap and rolled over onto my back, presenting my belly for rubbing so that he may correct this error, but instead the human continued to look at the thing he calls a 'book.' I'm afraid that he no longer loves me and will soon cast me out into the cold, cruel wild. In desperation, I will perform the pony ritual of scattering sweets across the floor as a token of my love for the human. The jar of sweets perched on the kitchen counter should suffice for this ritual. Wish me luck."
>taking a horse out to pick up their shit
Why?
>>25939238
Because you put your dick in the horse shit, duh.
>>25935170
bumping for interest
Must have a paste in or equivalent of this when done.
>>25940986
Aw, come on, guy
>>25941372
is that an AOL guy? holy shit what decade is it?
>>25941372
>.gif
No, you're a jpg idiot. You ruined my meme.
>>25934466
It is 1:56 in the bloody morning, Bon.
If you think I'm getting out of this bed to take you on a walk, you've got another thing coming.
>>25939209
I could easily see this Bonbon becoming more and more violently (and hilariously-she is very tiny) yandere with each failed attempt to monopolize Anon's attention and affection.
