>"Hi."
>>25875439
OH MY GOD, A TALKING HORSE.
>>25875497
>tfw no dubs
>>25875439
Howdy.
>>25875439
What is the icon supposed to be?
*updates Fedora*
>>25875497
>ifunny
>>25875439
>"Hello, you seem like a normal and astounding person."
"Uh what?"
>"Yes you, the green handsome one. Do you have a girlfriend or wife?"
"No?"
>"Really? But you look so hot, maybe it's because you don't have a facebook account!?"
"A wh-"
>"YES, A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. WITH THIS ACCOUNT, YOU CAN GET ALL THE HOTTIES AND FRIENDS YOU WANT WITHIN A FEW DAYS."
"No"
>"Please get one...I'm going to get fired if I can't get any more ponies to make an account..."
Itt: Facebook pone tries to get Anon to get a facebook account. Any means neccessary.
>>25875994
....I'm intrigued.
Go on.
>>25875994
>>25876020Fine, you might regret my writing.
>The next day.
>Be Anon, who didn't make a facebook account.
>More like shit account. You've seen the shit and edgyness those ponies write on their pics and likes.
>It even got Princess Twilight, princess of friendships, to represent them.
>Some bullshit about friends. You don't know all the way.
>Knock Knock Knock
>When the fuck did someone ever come by?
>You walk up to the door, wondering who was autistic enough to visit you.
"Yes?"
>"Sir, would you like to do something remarkable?"
"What?"
>You open the door to see a light blue pony...wait a fucking minute.
>Is that facebook as a cutiemar-
>"YES! MAKE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT TODAY AND YOU CAN DO REMARKABLE THINGS LIKE MAKE FRI-"
>You slam the door on her face.
>Mondays....
FEDORA A SHIT
VOID LINUX STRONK
FUCK SYSTEMD
>>25875439
Hi.
Are your sisters Debiana, Minty, Ubunta and Gentoorina arround?
>>25876090
>The day after that.
>You might of seen that light blue pony before. You don't remember much from two day's ago.
>Anon's Sunday Drinking. No one can stop that.
>Today's Tuesday, time for a normal day in Equestria.
>You feel a hoof tap your shoulder. So being a nice guy, you turn around and...
>"Well Hello sir, how are you today?"
>Oh god damn it.
>It's that facebook pone again. This time, she has brought out an advertisement voice.
"Hello, miss?"
>"My name is Face Book. The mascot for Facebook, home of friend making!"
"And edgy shit."
>"And edgy sh- Hey!"
>You chuckle for a moment.
"Look Face Book, I don't need a facebook account."
>"Really sir? You don't want, oh I don't know, maybe a bazillion friends?"
>Does bazillion even exist?
"No, I don't need a bazllion friends. I don't need one friend."
>"AH HA! I KNEW IT!"
"Knew what?"
>She smiles wide.
>"Anypony without a facebook account must be a friendless nobody."
>You don't know what was worse.
>The fact that she just insulted you, or the fact she did it with a beaming smile.
>You turn around and walk away as she takes in what she just said.
>click...click...click...and
>You hear hooves clopping.
>"Oh my dear Celestia, I am so sorry for saying that."
>>25876200
Eh, sorry for the grammar mistakes.
>>25876200
>Two hours. She has been following you for two hours.
>"I mean, work has been really bad and I didn't have my coffee..."
>Still apologizing and making excuses.
>"Nor did I have my hay sandwich. Hunger and tiredness do cause rudeness..."
>Maybe you should say something.
>"But again, I'm sorr- OH a restaurant."
>Or maybe she has ADD.
>You look at her as she looks into what looked like a phone.
>Or a tiny book with an account picture on it.
"Dafaq is that?"
>She looks up at you with a confused look.
>"You don't know what this is? It's facebook."
>She was just holding a tiny book phone thing?
"That's facebook? I thought it was a website."
>Her eyes brighten up at your lack of knowledge.
>She than takes a look between the restaurant and her ...Facebook?
>Her face scrunches up for a moment, as if thinking of something. Than a bright smile goes on her face.
>"Well, I should inform you of everything! But let us eat and talk. That restaurant over there?"
>She points to a building labeled as "Sugar Cube Corner"
>"It received a lot of likes on facebook and people have been giving it good compliments."
>"Maybe we can talk and eat at the same time?"
"I don't know abou-"
>"I'll pay for the food!"
>She blurts it out in an instant with wide eyes.
"Uh...ok?"
>Might as well, no one says no to free food. Right?
>>25876225
It's alright.
>>25876351
It's funny, I didn't click on the pic to enlarge it.
I thought it was a facebook cutiemark and started writing. I don't recognize it, what cutiemark is it? Still writing, just curious now.
>>25876090
But it's not a facebook cutie mark.
>>25876392
It's the Fedora Linux logo
>>25876345
>You and the facebook pone have been talking for an hour or so.
>She has barely even taken a bite in her blueberry pie or sip from her coffee.
>You just got a cake slice with an ice cream on the side.
>She must really love her job, even though she made excuses earlier about it.
>Each and every word she says, she talks as if she was inspired by every single one.
>"It really is amazing how you can meet so many ponies. So many cultures and kinds. We are even going to allow Griffins in it next!"
>She is really excited to talk about it.
>"And oh my Celestia~ This cake is so good!"
>Or she has ADD. Wait you said that already, didn't you?
"You sound like you love working as the mascot."
>She blushes with her eyes wide. She must of not noticed that she was talking the whole time.
>"Uh yeah. I really do. They pay well and I got so many friends just by being the mascot. It makes you feel so popular!"
>She giggles and squees as she wraps her hooves around herself.
>"No ponyknew who I was before the job"
>You chuckle.
"So that means you were a friendless before the job as well?"
>She looks out the window, out to the ponies walking and talking.
>it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming.
>"No pony liked me because I talked too much. They wanted me to shut up so much...some of them even hurt me just to shut up."
>Oh wow, this just got a bit personal.
>"I was just excited to be around ponies."
>A tear drops from her eye and falls to the ground.
>"ANYWAY, that was ME BEFORE FACEBOOK! NOW I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS!"
>Jesus Christ, she just switched emotions in an instant.
>Back to the advertisement voice. You can't help to chuckle at how quick she was to dismiss that sad moment.
>You hoped that she did not make up that story to make you have a facebook. It was pretty feelsy.
>>25876492
>>25876511
Oh. Linux? Wow. I feel embaressed. Should I stop or do you guys actually want me to continue?
>>25876392
It's an understandable mistake, no reason not to keep writing
>>25876543
Keep going.
>>25876543
It happens. I'm liking this story, is interesting.
>>25876543
Keep going
>>25876529
>You had to admit. Even though she talked a lot, it was fun hanging out with her.
>The both of you were going towards your apartment. But this time, she was just asking about you.
>Basically your likes and shit about you.
>You just finally got done with your story about how you got here.
"So yeah, my car crashed a few years back and that's how I got here."
>She was looking at her phone....Book thing? Typing in something.
"What are you doing?"
>She jumps for a second and looks at you with a grin.
>Why don't you like that grin?
>"Well, I was making something..."
>Wait a minute...
>"Using whatever you said in your story..."
>Her horn glows, causing a light to glow on a letter.
>She did not...
>"To make you..."
"No..."
>"Your very own..."
>A package appears out of nowhere. Or magic in this case.
>Small Square package
"No no no..."
>She has a very bright smile along with beaming wide eyes as she rips open the box. Revealing a tiny green facebook with a Question Mark for the cover.
>"YOUR VERY OWN FACEBOOK!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>Your screams ring out throughout the apartment.
>You said it before that the day you get a facebook account was the day hell froze over.
>Other ponies said it would happen, you would get a facebook account
>Today was that day. Today it happened.
>>25876734
>>25876734
>What a beautiful morning. It's a perfect time of the day t-
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>I was going to say get a cup of coffee, but screaming works too.
"Wait!"
>You took the time to examine where you were at.
>You were laying in a bed. Not any bed, your bed.
>Alarm Clock was turned off, a good smell was in the air and everything was peaceful.
>But your knees were weak, palms were sweaty.
>You give a sigh of relief as you ponder the situation.
"Oh thank god, it was just a nightmare."
>With that out of the way, you decided to start your day.
>You took an amazing showering, knowing that you don't have a facebook account.
"That dream felt way too real. Oh well."
>Once your shower was done and you were dressed, you went into the kitchen.
>What's that on the table? Some good looking waffles were on the table! Covered in syrup.
>Today was just starting and it's actually good.
>You eat the waffles, taking in their softness and enjoying every bite.
>"Oh you're awake! I was so worried. Did you sleep well?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah. I had a bad dream. Some random horse came out of nowhere. Trying to sell me something."
>As you talked, a cup of coffee appeared next to you.
>"It sounds like a bad dream. I made you some coffee."
>You take a few sips and you just smiled.
>It was good co...coff...wait.
>Actual good food on the table?
>Nice caring voice?
>Someone making you breakfast?
>A cup of actual delicious coffee?
>You're eyes were wide as you slowly turned your head around in horror.
>You see her, that mare from your nightmares.
>"You passed out last night after I showed you your face book."
>Your mouth opens slowly as a look of horror appeared on your face.
>"So I made breakfast as a way to appreciate the fact that you have one now! After Breakfast, we can actually finish making your account!"
>She claps her hooves together as she smiles wide.
>....
>It was actually adorable.
>.........
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>>25876734
>>25876900
>>25876922
>>25875444
>>25876511
All these dubs and trips!
Check'em
>>25876917
>Showering.
I...really need to proof read these things before posting. I might have a>pic relatedif I don't.
Writing still.
>>25876917
>>but your knees were weak, palms were sweaty.
pls
>>25876917
>You ran off, before coming back and taking the waffles and that cup of coffee.
>It may be a horror situation, but only niggers waste a perfectly good breakfast.
>With breakfast in your arms, you ran towards your room.
>You kicked the alarm clock off the nightstand and placed the waffles and coffee there.
>Fuck the alarm clock, never used it anyway.
>With arms free, you go towards your door and lock it.
>You go back to the scared food, petting the sticky waffles with your hand.
"It is ok my dear food. The horror is almost over."
>You finally get a chance to eat again, chewing the waffles in your mouth.
>It's what waffles would of wanted. Death before facebook account.
>Finally, after what seemed to be 30 mins, there was a light tap against the door.
>"Um, Anon? Are you ok? You don't have sicknesses or illness do you?"
"You will never get my autistic ass on facebook!"
>"Wait you have autism?"
"Maybe?"
>There was a silence, than a woot sound.
"What did you do?"
>She could tell you were joking, right?
>"Oh, updated your info."
>...
"Wha-"
>Beep Woop Woot.
>"Ok. Now it's on your profile."
>Brain.exe trying to process information.
>Brain.exe is finished.
>Did she just put what you said on facebook?
"GOD DAMN IT"
>"Oh? Are you religious too?"
"FUUUUUCK!!!"
>"And you like fucking... There we go. Anything else?"
>Maybe it would be best to shut up before facebook pone kills your non-existent social life.
>"You know what? Here, let me just get you to like some pages here and maybe you can find some ponies like you. Than you can get more friends!"
>It's ironic how she sounds happy about this, but you were just getting more annoyed and pissed off at this.Lets make things interesting. What do Anon?
>>25877282
1. Take the book away from the pony.
2. Take a baseball bat or other, similar blunt object.
3. Smash the shit out of the book.
>>25877302
This.
>>25875439
What's with all the /g/ posts in /mlp/ these days?
Ilikeit.
>>25877434
I think you might in the wrong thread, friendo
>>25876138
systemd is great
>>25877282
>Be Face Book, the happy go lucky mascotwith ADDof Facebook.
>You are just updating Anon's profile for him. Maybe you can get him some friends.
>From what you gathered, he was an autistic, religious fucker.
>So that's what you put on his profile for everypony to see.
>You don't want it to be private, if it were private, no one would know who he was.
>But you do wonder what he is. He said human last night bu-
>Woot.OR BEEP I don't know facebook noises.
>Oh my! He has so many likes and friend requests already!
>He even got invited to thePONIES WHO NEED HELPand theKKKpages.
"Anon, you are becoming popular already!"
>His door slams open and you jump back.
>It was loud and surprised you, you weren't distracted!
>He seems to be breathing really heavy like.
"Anon? Do you have asthma too?"
>He begins to shake, his face turning red.
>The coffee must of been hot.
>He finally stops, takes a deep long breath in and out.
>He gives you a gentle smile, one you returned with a geniune smile of your own.
>"Thank...You so much for doing that. May I see my facebook please?"
>You gasp, he finally wanted to try it out!? On his own!
>He really is abig guy.
"Oh my Celestia, yes! Here you go. Try it out! I will wait in your living room so you can facebook for a bit! Have fun."
>As you walk towards the room, Anon closes his door.
>You could of sworn you heard smashing and crunching as you walked, but you just ignored it.
>Anon must be just happy using his facebook for the fir-
>IS THAT COFFEE YOU SMELL!?
>>25877466
HOLY FUCK, COFFEE?!
CHECK THAT SHIT OUT NOW!
>>25875649
Fedora Linux
>>25877466
>If this coffee was a page, you would of made a few fake accounts and liked it.
>Than shared it to everyone.
>Than poked everyon-wait, what were you doing?
>OH right, waiting for anon.
>Speaking of Anon, here he comes with a smile!
>He must of loved it!
"Anon, did you like your facebook?"
>You looked around for it, but you couldn't see it.
"Where is it?"
>"Yeah, something weird happened."
>He sounds really calm as he spoke his wo-the coffee is so good.
>"Now, this was an accident. You see..."
>He sits on the couch.
>"I was just sitting down, minding my own buisness, when I accidently tripped."
>You gasped.
"Are you ok Anon?"
>He looks away towards a window for a moment.
>"Yeah, it's just..."
>He has tears in his eyes. He looks like he's about to cry.
>"I tripped and I landed on the phone."
>You gasp.
>"Than, after I got up, my metal bat fell on it!"
"Dear Celestia!"
>"There's more!"
"NO!?"
>"After my bat fell on it, the little facebook was catapulted onto my toilet handle, than fell into my toilet."
>He sobbed and croaked with every word.
>"I'm so sorry Face Book. It was taken away before it's time."
>Be Anon.
>You were fucking good at acting.
>Smashed that shit with a bat till it was bits, than flushed it down a toilet.
>Today is going well, the mare even looked like she bought it.
>"That is bad..."
>She looks down for a moment, as if taking a moment of silence.
>Than she looks at you beaming.
>"Well the facebook might of been destroyed, but your account will be A-OK!"
>.......
>What?You guys like the personality I gave facebook?
>>25877647
Ah, shit.
OK, well, if there's a replacement one, just lock it in a safe or something.Yes.
>>25875660
iFunny is awesome
>>25877675
You should probably go.
>>25877647
>"Yep, it is ok. Thanks to Princess Twilight!"
>You know who that horse is. The one with the big castle.
>Blocking your view of ponyville.
"What does Twilight have to do with this?"
>She is smiling. It's accustomed now to not like that smile.
>You fear that smile.
>"Because of her newest research on Magic Storing Data, we, at facebook, have a way to store your data!"
>what?
"What?"
>"Facebook is her first experiment with storing everything in magic!"
>She flares her arms wide as if she were a carny selling tickets to a circus.
>She blushes and sits back down on the couch.
>"Not everything everything, you know what I mean, right?"
>You facepalm than nod your head.
>Regretfully.
"Ye...yes I get it."
>She then proceeds to jump off the couch and go up to you
>"OH! I ALMOST FORGOT!"
>"Since I was the one who made you that facebook device, there was a special warranty on it!"
>You sigh and furrow your brow.
"Of fucking course there is"
>"Yep! Aren't you excited!? You are the only one I did this for!"
>Yeah, real special. You...wer...
>wait what?
"Wait a minute, what do you mean by that?"
>She gives you a sincere look with a small smile to go on top.
>"You were the only one that actually didn't go crazy and liked my company in real life."
>She sighs and continues to keep that smile
>"I mean, using facebook to message others and comment on posts are fun, but they aren't exactly who they say they are in real life."
>She looks up to you, smiling still, though it looked smaller this time.
>Her eyes were closed yet a single teardrop falls down her right eye.
>"You are the only one that's been nice to me in reality. Everyone else isn't nice to me at all unless it's over facebook."
>You suddenly felt like shit.
It's past midnight and I guess I need sleep. Have to be up early for Christmas, so I will make a pastebin for this later. Just try to keep the thread alive. I want to continue this later.
>3 /g/ pone threads up
What a time to be alive.
>>25877851
>http://pastebin.com/YVRRaKmt
Funny that I forgot I had a pastebin account. Haven't wrote in a long time. It was fun.
Anyway, here is the pastebin. I will continue it later.
>>25877977
I'm loving it. /g/ and /mlp/ are my main boards, and the amount of Linux users coming out of the woodwork is actually astounding.
>>25878101
A friend of mine uses Linux. It's not bad. He also somehow changed my windows computer into a linux one using a USB drive.
Not that smart here, so I was confused at how he did that. Linux isn't that bad really
>>25878130
Yeah, Linux has the ability to boot up from a USB drive natively, so you don't have to install it to use it. It's pretty sweet; I run Linux on almost all my devices. Lots of Pone Rice on all that.
>>25878170
>pone rice
You change your bootlogo to the OS pone of your choice yet?
>>25878288
Not quite yet. I've been maximizing battery life for now, haven't started all the proper ricing. How do, if I may ask?
>>25878318
I don't know what distro you use, but here's how on Mint http://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/153975/how-to-change-boot-logo-in-linux-mint
>>25878353
Using Arch right now, but I think I can figure out from the instructions there. Thanks, m8!
this green is surprisingly enteraining.
>>25876917
>>25877282
>>25877647
Kek.
>>25877851
Cute but sad.
>>25878008
I bump for you.
Merry christmas!
Merry xmas bump
>>25878008
That sure was worth reading.
Ok, I'm back. Sorry, had to visit family for Christmas.
It's a fun Christmas when there arethunder storms all day and night.
Writing green now
>>25886689
Bump
Bump
>>25877851
"Really?"
>Face Book nods slowly as your pride, for killing something stupid, turns into regret.
"So, that facebook was customized by you?"
>"Yes silly. I thought it would be nice to make something for a friend."
>She just called you a friend.
>That thing that you never had before.
"I'm your friend?"
>She just giggles and hugs you gently.
>It felt warm, making you want to hug back.
>"Of course you are. A nice...uh...Human?"
>You nod as to hint to her that she was correct.
>"Right, a nice human like you should have friends."
>Tears start to swell in your eyes as she spoke.
>Just as she spoke about her job before, she talks as if she was inspired by every single word.
>"And since you were nice to me and friendless, I thought we could be great friends."
>"I even had that facebook specially made just for you. It was a friendship gift from me to you."
>That burning you feel inside?
>It is shame for destroying a a gift that she made just for you.
>No one has ever made you a gift before.
>Even a shitty one as a facebook.
>She looks up towards you, a beaming smile on her face and bright beaming eyes.
>"You're lucky that there was a special warranty on that thing. I can have another made in a day. Would you like that?"Would you like another gift? yes or no?
>>25886845
Well, on the one hand we'll probably never use it.
On the other hand, it's the first and only gift we've gotten in our life.
.......sure, let's get another one.
>>25886845
>You think about her offer for a moment.
>She is offering you a gift, but the gift is facebook.
>You sigh, knowing that you don't have the heart to break this mare's heart.
"Actually..."
>Finally managing some strength, you give the mare a gently hug back.
"I would like that. Thank you for thinking about me."
>The grip on the hug gets a bit stronger as you enjoy the moment that is had for now.
"Friend."
>You convinced Face Book to make another account for you.
>Also, she wasn't allowed to make your account for you.
>After everything was done, all you did was use facebook to message the one and only friend you had.
>You and Face Book even hung out more often than anyone.
>Weather it was going to the park, eating at a restaurant, or just making food at the apartment. It was a blast no matter what.
>That sweet mare that decided to quit her job and live with you just so she could be with her friend, changed your life for the better.
>The End.>....
>wait WHAT?
>>25887140
Rushed, but sweet.
I like it.
>>25876554
>>25887151
That's the thing with my writing. When it feels too long to me, I just end up rushing it.
I want to fix it that issue later, but for now thanks for reading.
Software ponies are alive, weeeee
>some stupid normie wrote a shitty fanfic about facebooko in response to an obvious OS-pony thread
>he kept going
>>25888298
>After everyone else told him it was a simple mistake and that it was fine for him to keep going.
>Dr. Pavel! I'm CIA
>>25888298
Back to reddit, now
