"King Anon, the Wonderbolts have challenged us to a game of Hoofball. We need somepony to be our coach."
>>25851169
For the love of fucking christ of all the ti-..... JUST SEND SPIKE.
>>25851183
"But your Majesty, Spike doesn't know anything about hoofball. I don't think he's even watched a game."
How would the game go?
>>25851205
Oh, I'm sorry, Who's the fucking king?
>>25851169
Well, I played college ball. Could have gone pro If I havent joined the navy
>>25851260
Five touchdowns in one game?
New setting: Al Bundy as King in Equestria. Now.
>>25851169
>"THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! NOW IF YOU WANNA CROWN EM'-, THEN CROWN THEIR ASSES!"
Lemme guess, hoofball is a pussified version of football, right?
>>25851169
"Hoofball! How can a civilised population enjoy such a blood sport!"
"No, tell the other guards they are not to play. If they do there will be no story time before bed and any boo boo will not be kissed."
>>25851288
What are the rules for hoofball?
>>25851308
If they are anything like Calvinball, we are screwed.
>>25851322
Isn't the point of Calvinball to be as confusing as possible?
>>25851169
>somepony
Kill yourself, faggot.
We need writefags. I'd do it myself, but I'm not talented enough.
>>25851308
Rugby league, with a proviso for pegasus scoring (the ball must be propelled through the high-bars from a hindleg-kick launched between the twenty- and thirty-metre line), and defensive unicorn magic (a single obstacle may be conjured at any one time for blocking purposes; direct manipulation of the ball or other players, is prohibited).
>>25851322
>>25851353
As a child it was my dream to play Calvinball. It looked fun as fuck.
Soarin' gets badly hurt in the game, and is forced to retire.
He becomes addicted to painkillers.
>>25851520
In order to afford his painkiller addiction, he works as a "male escort", and by "male escort" I mean prostitute?
Rainbow Dash's dad: I was the star of Hoofball back in Cloudsdale High. Five Touchdowns in one game. I had a career ahead of me.
Rainbow Dash: What happened then, dad?
Rainbow Dash's Dad: Your mother said it was okay to cum inside her.
>>25851445
>what is in-character
>>25851169
Oh, that's fine. It's not like we have more important things to do like WIN A FUCKING WAR AGAINST AN ENEMY CURRENTLY TRYING TO RAPE OUR DOGS AND MURDER OUR CHILDREN.
>>25851169
Last time the royal guard had an outdoor activity of this magnitude more than half a legion came back with several booboos. Send the Wonderbolts a Royal Fuck-off until further notice, We cannot risk to disband any more patrols for the time beign.
>>25851610
When did the ATF change their operational methods?
>>25851288
Jesus, dude, calm down.
>>25851260
Any green?
Wind Rider is a special guest commentator for the game.
Hoofball? I'll ram my hoof into YOUR balls.
>>25851169
Who the hell let this monster in my castle? Out with you!
>>25851586
Kek
How does the hoofball league plan to deal with concussions?
