Old Thread: >>25798458
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AIN'T NO MARE GONNA DENY ME MY CUDDLING
And the wait begins anew.
>>25846427
Random Anon here: I was the one who posted the original idea all those months ago (focused on post-breakup, with Anon having a new life with another pony like Fleur as a stepmom and Cadence feeling regretful, etcetera).
It's awesome to see something coming from my half-baked post.
Thank you.
Which mare spends the most time clopping?
>>25846933
>>25846933
>>25846947
No, it'sFluttershy.
>>25846933
Dash.
Those aren't actually rain clouds homie
>>25846984
So, that's why she's always sleeping?
>>25847023
>rubbing herself to exhaustion everyday
>>25846933
>>25846977
Yep
Going with Flutters
Do you know what we need?Bughorse.
>>25847215
But not just ANY bughorse
we need a CHRISTMAS THEMED Bughorse
"I'm not like the other colts" said every colt ever.
![[Guitar_Riff].png](https://i.imgur.com/DyZsAE1.png "[Guitar_Riff].png")
>>25847475
Good thing Anon's not a colt.
Friendly reminder:
Rarity swims in stallions because she is famous, stylish and suave. Has no respect for males, and instead of a prince she'd rather have the sexy, obedient butler.
Pinkie Pie is a pickup artist - as in, truly ARTist, not the kind that read a few books. First she approaches some stallions having their stallionly spice lattes, and BAM, an hour later they are spit-roasting her and nobody understands just how it happened. Other mares always ask her how she does it.
Flutters is just too hot - hot damn! Makes a dragon want to retire. Stallions spill hay in front of her so much she bales it up and sells it. Some say she gets fish for her carnivorous animals by flirting with griffons and getting them to spill it from their pockets.
Applejack is a tradcon, and believes in purity until marriage, Not only that, she also is the mare of a family of four, forced upon her when she was still too young. The only romantic experience she had was with a colt in school. Still technically a virgin.
Rainbow Dash is mixed case. Her constantly absent single mother didn't - and couldn't - teach her how to deal with stallions, and her character doesn't help. She had little luck with the fair sex, but not because of lack of trying. To make matters worse, she seems to be monosexual. Constant sexual frustration on all fronts made her bitter about romance and mean towards colts.
Twilight Sparkle forgot to leave the library when everypony hit puberty. She has zero sexual experience, and had zero relationships. Her view of sexuality is heavily skewed by whoever yells the loudest at the moment. She is going through a white knight phase right now.FrostyBox is a grizzled veteran army mare, known for that sixth sense of hers. Nobody could get a drop on her or her squad. When she goes on leave, all the colts get fear-boners
>>25839767
Do more smut.
>>25840178
Cunt in a box.
They open the box and WHAM it's your magically detached winking candyvag.
>>25840245
Caramel needs to learn his limits and drink more water.
>>25847215
>>25847224
This is true.
>>25847215
>>25847224
Want it
NEED IT
>>25847646
Rarity, Pinkie, Flutters and Applejack all sound about right.
>>25847215
>>25847224
yess please.
>>25847124
>>25847696
God she looks adorable in that, we need more green of best queen.
>>25847215
>>25847224
Nerdalis/Super totally marely Chrysalis running herself ragged trying to find a suitable, if slightly colty, gift for Anon when he doesn't really give a shit about what she gets and is perfectly happy with her regardless if she finds a gift or not when?
>>25846984
Why is this flawed concept around as a thread?
Even if you ignored the massive physical and mental differences between the sexes; the simple fact the sexes work as they do is why gender roles are as they are.
Men do not carry offspring within them. Women do. Men do not have long periods of relatively uselessness when pregnant, women do. Men are not needed as the primary nurse for a baby, women are.
Can anyone give me a single reason why this isn't a completely stupid concept?
>>25847784
Hyenas.
>>25847646
Getting Dwarf Fortress flashbacks from that Frosty entry.
Frostybox has been happy lately. She has written a nice story lately. She has observed a nice chair recently. She admired a fine computer recently. Frostybox likes writing, 4chan, and stallions for their delicate nature. She absolutely detests purring maggots. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume rum and coke. She needs alcohol to get through the working day.
>>25847784
Niggers.
>>25847831
>>25847784
Basically every single real life species where the female is larger than the male, including Spotted Hyenas, Octopi Spiders, Mantis and other.
>>25847784
>Everything and everyone works exactly like humans do because I don't know biology and have no imagination
You know, mares are relatively unburdened by pregnancy. Besides, horses are naturally "matriarchal", as the horse on top of the local hierarchy is usually a mare.
>>25847845
In the board there is a greentext story of the pony warrior Celestia and human mage Anon. The story relates to the recovery of the Elements of Harmony by the pony warrior Celestia and human mage Anon.
The writing is of the highest quality.
>>25847916
>The writing is of the highest quality.
Name it or link it. Does it have smut?
>>25847958
http://pastebin.com/pMyyNYzn
It's ok
>>25847916
This is an engraving of a Celestia and human mage Anon by Celestia. All craftsponyship is of the highest quality. Celestia is bucking frozen human mage Anon. The Anon is striking a menacing pose. The artwork relates to the reuniting of Celestia and human mage Anon the late Spring of 1001 during the thawing of human mage Anon by Celestia.
>>25848019
>All bucking is of the highest quality
ftfy
>>25847885
>>25847846
>>25847784
This is why Anon causes such a ruckus when he appears in Equestria.He is the ultimate big spoon to the Little Ponies.
>>25848117
Agreed
>>25847885
But stallions are larger than mares in the show.
>>25848210
Yeah, size is a bullshit reason. Horses still matriarchal though
>>25847916
>Besides, horses are naturally "matriarchal", as the horse on top of the local hierarchy is usually a mare.
False.
> Normally, we would expect to see a stallion at the very top of the pecking order, which, as related to the hormone testosterone, accounts in large part for the aggressive behavioral tendencies we see in many stallions. Following stallions are mature mares, mature geldings (if present), yearling colts, yearling fillies, weanling colts and finally, weanling fillies.
>>25848210
And Celestia is the biggest horse, so she gets to make the rules.
Why do you think The more important the princess the taller they are?
Even Twilight gained some height with her alicornization,
>>25848299
Yeah. THink of it as school-ground rules; the tallest one is the leader.
>>25848299
>>25848323
No, no, ork rules.
Da biggest and da strongest
>why
Because fetish
On with the show.
>>25848332
>Da biggest and da strongest
>da greenest is bestes
anon is super green and tall makes him boss
>>25848400
aw shit
To the anon going on about "textile" senses last thread, the word you're looking for is "tactile". Textile refers to fabric and fabric accessories.
>>25848417
Off topic but, I always liked this pic of "anon on a throne" better
>>25848503
>Be Anon
>Rararararara fucked up a spell and teleported you across town into her shop, where you fell into a vat of magically active fabric
>After you calmed her down, you discovered you have gained a new sense
>A new textile sense!
>You can feel all the fabric around you, sort of like if the fabric was your skin
>Fuck this is weird
"Rararara, I can feel through your fabrics now."
>"What do you mean Anon?"
"It's like all the fabric in your little horse shop is my skin. It's pretty strange."
>[AROUSED HORSE NOISES]
>Rarity has stopped responding.
>You decide not to wait for her, and just pick her up and carry her over one of your shoulders like a box or sack.
>And walk to book horse's cute little horse library to have her check if you have horse cancer or something.
>You're not an expert in magic, but you do know falling into vats and getting superpowers gave your grandfather laser-cancer.
>When you arrive at Sparkle Castle you put down your pet dresshorse, wave hello to your pet dragon, and shout for your pet Book horse
"Hey Twilight! Rarity tried to magic again and I need you to check me for cancer!"
>Twilight comes over and sprays her magic at you
>"There's a few tumors, hold still and I'll scoop them out"
>Easy come, easy go
>>25848243
Go back to your beets, Dwight
>>25848243
http://dspace.ucalgary.ca/bitstream/1880/46932/1/Kincaid.pdf ?
>>25848592
>Exasperated Twilight regularly having to remove odd, magically-grown yet harmless tumours and other biological squickiness from Anon.
>Fellow Princesses, Lyra, and Rarity are the worst offenders in giving Anon oddness.
>Each are cluelessly trying to flirt with him by using magic on him.
>Ponies WTF at the sight of Purple chewing out Sun Horse, Moon Butt, and Candy Ass.
Anon's getting married to mare of his dreams.
At the 'objection' part of the ceremony, several ponies object: Fleur, Rarity, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence.
Shit hits the fan when each get over their surprise of another mare objecting, let alone a few.
Sexist law invoked: dueling for Anon's hoof-in-marriage.
Anon sneaks away with his fiance in the meantime/chaos.
>>25848733
>dueling for Anon's hoof-in-marriage
>Anon has no hooves
>Anon does however, have a waifu with hooves
>It is decided that the pony who won the duels is now married to Anon's waifu instead
>>25848745
>"But I want Anon!" Cadence practically wails.
>Luna stomps her hoof against the chapel's marble floor, cratering it.
>"Thou are already married, niece!"
>Shining Armour stands to the side, looking around awkwardly.
Sorry for the long shitty post
>>25845068
You don't have to worry about that. Just make one up that sounds dark or batty.
>>25846933
Moondancer.I was thinking of writing a story where she meets Anon when he's working in a sex shop and they have to move in for some reason, but I don't know how to handle it beyond a few scenes..
>>25847124
I like that idea.
>>25847784
It's just a fun idea we had at some point and eventually made a general of it. We like making up stories and ideas about it, so it stays. And yes, we've tried to work out the logic of how pregnancies and all that work as well. Most of these things are answered by the fanon idea that there are more females than males. It's not perfect, but we don't need 100% logic to enjoy these threads.
>>25848323
Invader Zim logic. I like it.
>>25845068
Well, we kinda do, depending on how you look at it.
>>25849693
Kick logic to the curb and do the impossible.
That's how team RGR rolls.
>Day spirals in Equestria
>Got bored yesterday and built a giant robot out of cardboard, duct tape, and spare unicorns.
>Now's the time to test it out
>Got spike in the head as a lookout while you're in the lower head driving
>Gently push the accelerator down
>CRASH
>There goes town hall
>You let go of the accelerator and come to a stop
>Nobody punishes you for the destruction because you're male
>They do complain about your driving though.
>>25849738
>no fluffy ears
Fake.
>>25847916
>muh horses
You know, these are talking, magical sapient equines with no real relation to the horses in our world. And canonically, the ponies in MLP have no real gender roles, their society is egalitarian rather than learning towards matriarchal or patriarchal, both genders are equal, they are very clearly primarily monogamous. MLP ponies behave nothing like real horses, and their society is not structured anything like that of a real horse's.
I don't agree with that other Anon because Equestria isn't a matriarchy OR patriarchy, but you can hardly pull the 'muh horses' card, because those are practically irrelevant in anything other than alternate universe fanfics that bend over backwards in an attempt to try and pull off these concepts that never really belonged in MLP and oftentimes clash heavily with it's setting, themes, etc, in multiple ways.
Honestly, the concepts in this thread often end up changing so many things from the show that you could just as easily go and make up your own fantasy setting for this shit. Not saying you have to stop writing this shit if you really like it, but it's in no way based in reality.
>>25848210
Stallions and mares are equally capable in the show. Even with physical strength, we've seen that both are pretty capable of having good levels of strength.
>>25850104
Though yes, let me stress again that I'm not agreeing with that other Anon either. I strongly disagree with both of you.
>>25850104
>Cartoon show about magical talking tiny baby horses
>Magic horses with unicorn horse
>Flying horses with wings too small to lift them
>Two horses LITERALLY make the sun and moon rise and set
>Discussion brings up gender roles in this society
>"Guys, this doesn't sound very realistic."
>>25850285
Those things are normal in their world, and are part of the established setting in the show. The whole "muh gender roles" and all that stuff isn't, and is actually just contradictory to the show, where the genders are clearly shown to be equal and such. Among other things in this thread that don't belong/fit in MLP or contradict it, but let's not go into that right now.
My points still stands, I'm trying to figure out what yours is supposed to be.
This is just fanfiction, and it's just for fun, so ultimately you can write whatever the hell you want regardless of how much it conflicts with the source material, my point is that the things in this thread heavily contradict the show. Don't let that stop you from writing if you really want to, but don't let it slip your mind either, because it's important to remember. Equestria in your fanfic can be whatever you want, ultimately, no matter how little sense it makes, but Equestria in the show is egalitarian with gender, and is a benevolent society that highly values friendship, love, strong bonds, and other nice things.
Anyway, I don't really want to hang around this thread all day, so unless somebody else has something to say, I'll be going.
>>25850344
Also, as far as the wings go, you could most likely make the case that they're only like that because of the art style. You could easily argue that they'd most likely be bigger to some extent, this picture just being an example I dug up in 20 seconds. It's worth considering that it's quite possible that magic plays a big role in their ability to go airborne too, other than just the physical properties.
>>25850363
Though I dunno. Not really something I've ever put much thought into, so who knows if they'd be much bigger, or anything like that. I'll think about it later, goodbye for now people. :^)
>>25850104
Are you an ambassador from the fimfic thread? Because this specific kind of autism is up their alley
>muh show show show changing so many things from the show
The show has horse fighting using fucking pies. Show horses have barbie genitals. Show horses have rubber necks and cartoon-indestructible bodies that disassemble. Show spits shitcum in the face of physics.
>muh egalitarian society
Mares built this "egalitarian" society.
White-knight some more and maybe you will get to sniff a dick once.
>>25850285
>"I'm aware that the show omits some concepts, as it is meant for kids' TV"
>"But everything that is omitted is exactly as in my libtard wet dreams"
>you will never be the little boy
>>25850377
kek
Change whatever you want from the show in your shitty fanfics, buddy, just don't delude yourself into thinking you haven't abandoned the canon in those regards that you change. Especially to this extent.
Again, this is fanfiction, write whatever, enjoy whatever. Just don't think that the ideas in all of these stories fit or belong in MLP, because many of them ultimately contradict, sometimes quite heavily.
Also, are you trying to turn this into a RP, anon-kun? Not interested. Equestria in the show very clearly is gender-egalitarian, though. But I'm sure people will object to that argument being played out here, because it wouldcrash this thread with no survivors:^)
>>25850418
>shitty fanfics bla abandoned muh canon belong in MLP! anon-kun
Oh look at you, you're retarded! Or a colt, but I'm repeating myself.
If you show us girls your sheath we might forgive you.
>>25850467
>shitposting with RP
And we're done here. It seems you don't have an argument. Oh well, I'm a bit tired today, you see, and I was hoping to go do something else.
My point still stands though, you REALLY should consider making up your own fictional universe rather than butchering Equestria. Just think of all that artistic freedom you'd have then, why, you might even free yourself and your ideas from the clutches of this board.
>>25848592
>>Twilight comes over and sprays her magic at you
This is oddly arousing.
>>25850500
You're funny, Autism-Anon.
>>25850344
>Don't let that stop you from writing if you really want to, but don't let it slip your mind either, because it's important to remember.
>because it's important to remember.
>important
It's a silly show for little girls. Is important really the word you want to use to describe any part of it?
This entire thread is shitposting
>>25850754
Reverse Shitposting in Equestria.
>>25850803
>anon furiously masturbates to derailing threads with his dick
I laugh every time
>>25850500
>>25850418
>>25850344
>>25850104
Nobody cares. Go be fat somewhere else.
>>25850363
It was confirmed in the S4 Finale that pegasi have their own magic they use to fly, as shown when Tirek absorbed their magic.
It explains why they can fly which such small wings
>"You won't tell the girls about this, will you Anon?"
Now let's get some green up in here.
>Be Anon
>Be playing Dwarf-pony Fortress
>Be fairly new to the game
>Log onto ponynet, sign up on DpF forums
>Put a bunch of your stuff on your profile; age, gender, etc.
>Call yourself "Obviously a Pony"
>THE PERFECT CRIME
>Nopony suspects a thing
>Shit goes smoothly for a few days
>Questions answered, minor insults hurled, and genuine advice is dispensed
>Then somepony browses your profile
>"Male"
>Nerd Rage
>Pony calls you out, accuses you of screwing with them all for sympathy & better treatment
>New thread started
>"OP is a faggot"
>Your sides when
>>25850104
>taking this so seriously
this is supposed to be a what if kind of thing anon.
>>25851120
Little greens are nice.
>>25851173Your file name doesn't match the picture.
>>25848649
whosit
page ten is no place for rgre
Alicorn or Satyr?
>>25852113
What's this for?
>>25852113Satyr would make it a bit TOO obvious, unless it's in a universe where there are more humans. If we're going with normal ponyverse, just make it an alicorn, which is still suspicious as hell, but less so than a half-human.
>>25852113
I like Satyr as the other general that deals with them have gone their own way that isn't so much focused on the family and more on shipping their oc's with other oc's which is a real shame really.
Also in regards to Broken Herds, should Anon try to go for more sexy times with the new bunch or do you want more comfy times? Cuz I'm still nervous about writing the smut bits.
>>25852161
I'd prefer more comfy bits, but that's just me. Having just gotten out of a sexual group relationship, he might be a bit adverse to go right back to horse poon, despite what happened with Ponk. Still getting better, but not back to 100% ready.
>>25852113Satyr, to make it easier for Cadance to deny it's hers.
>>25852161
Spur of the moment sexy times feel like they fit with your current heading. If a time seems right, go for it, but let it happen when it happens, don't push for it.
Tl;dr: let the comfy flow, the dick will know, when it's time to go.
>>25852161
>I like Satyr as the other general that deals with them have gone their own way that isn't so much focused on the family and more on shipping their oc's with other oc's which is a real shame really.
I know that feel. Satyr threads have turned to real shit.
>>25852113Alicorn. Satyr is overplayed.
>>25852179
>Satyr, to make it easier for Cadance to deny it's hers
A Unicron or Pegasus satyr, to make it easier for Cadence to deny it's hers.
Fixed because I'm a retard.
>>25852113
Alicorn-Centaur.
People would think he/she is related to Tirek, causing external drama with others and the Equestrian Royal Family.
Internal drama would be Anon and the stepmother's relationship with the child.
Inner-drama, the pressure of being both the offspring of an alicorn and a unique, inter-dimensional migrant like Anon.
>>25852242
>Unicron
We transformers now.
>>25852247
We've moved onto centaur territory? One step at a time, Anon.
>>25852254
>>Unicron
>We transformers now.
>>25852240
speaking of, anybody have any stories where human + pony = alicorn? heard of them, but neve seen them.
>>25852240
>Satyr is overplayed
lmao
what
>>25852293
Has its own thread
be unique
>>25852286
Can't say I have but...In this story, I am actually including some details on genetics and stuff. Depending on how things go.
>>25852308
>Has its own thread
its been established that said thread is shit and has nothing actually family related anymore
>>25852279
>>25852254
>>25852343
still, satyr stuff has been seen a million times before, even if it IS shit. whats one more drop in the ocean?
>>25852113Pony with a subtle, oddly human-ish "birth defect."
>>25852113
I'll take Alicorn.
I like satyrs, but another alicorn on the scene could bring some interesting shit.
>>25852455
Like a pony born with hoof spiders?
>>25852485
too obvious, maybe some sharper teeth in their mouth or slightly rounded ears?
>>25852113Alicorn.
>>25852455
>>25852515
I like this idea
>>25852515
An alicorn born with canines.
>>25852614
What, Nightmare Moon?
>>25852675
But she's demon possessed.
>>25852614
>Ponies flip their shit when they see a pony eating a steak
>Humalicorn panics and says it's an alicorn thing
>ponies don't dare bother the busy rulers of their nation with questions like, "what do you eat"
>>25852747
Smart, quick thinking.
That's my colt/filly
>>25852747
Reverse satyr. Legs (both back and forelegs) of a human, rest is pony.
Abominations in equestria when?
>>25852747
Humalicorn is surprisingly cynical: leads other ponies to believe that alicorns are always secretly like that.
...Holy shit. Attractive, cynical teen humalicorn is a total metal-head or one of those hot, non-fat goth chicks, with the fishnets, slogan t-shirts, and makeup.
Bonus if she has Cadence's hair and coat colours and mane-style, when unstyled.
>Rose rolls her eyes and looks at Fleur, smirking.
>"As far as I'm concerned, you're my Mother.
>"My biological Mom was just some egg-donating slut Dad knocked-up in school."
>Fleur smiles warmly at her daughter.
>"C'mon, Mom: I'm not letting Dad eat all the steak. Again."
>As they trot away, Rose idly stretching her wings, you slump against the tree.
>As always, your... Daughter doesn't know you're there, spying on her and her father in regret.
>You are Princess Cadence, and your heart is breaking.
>>25853281
aww
I lied, trying something new that ideally should mean I don't have to write out huge long chunks and can instead do a bunch of shorter segments more frequently.
>>25840245
>You return with the largest glass of water you have only to find Caramel is passed out on the floor of the bathroom.
>You nudge him until he gives you the smallest notions signifying awakeness which you take as an opportunity to force him to drink water.
>He coughs up a little at first but quickly catches on and drinks at the slow pace you set for him by tilting the cup just slightly.
>You give him small breaks to catch his breath or help him hover over the toilet for a moment in case anything happens.
>Eventually he's downed an amount of water, and kept it down, that you feel satisfied with.
>He drunkenly resists your hands as you rinse off his face and forearms in the sink, but you manage to get him mostly cleaned off before too long.
>Caramel's fur is still damp from all the sweating, but it feels like it's drying out at this point.
>You carry him as you did your dog back on Earth over to his bed and rest one of your knees on it.
>The springs creak under you weight.
>Caramel groans and opens his eyes just a peek.
>"Ann... nooo. Gonn ruin m'sheets..." he mumbles with as much outrage as he can muster.
>Damn it 'Mel, the hell does he expect you to do now?
>You glance around the room but find nothing of use right now.
>He's got so many drawers and things tucked away that it would take longer than you're willing to look for some spare sheets.
>Plus, you don't really want to go rooting through your passed out roommates stuff anyway.
>You let out a sigh and kneel down to leave Caramel on his floor.
>You make sure to turn him so he's laying on his side just in case.
>His muzzle scrunches a little from the contact with the wooden floor but otherwise he looks okay.
>You make a quick trip to your room and return with one of your extra pillows and a blanket.
>Aaaand Caramel is laying belly and face up.
>>25853568
>You drop the pillow down next to him, elicitng a small ear flick from him, and throw the blanket over his little horse body.
>Kneeling down, you gently place your hands on his barrel and hip and slowly turn him so he's back on his side.
>Caramel makes a small murmur.
>The moment you let him go, he begins to turn again onto his back.
>Fucking....
>You turn him less slowly this time and press him a little into the floor, hoping that his drunk ass will get the point and stay.
>Caramel groans slightly as you moved him but otherwise doesn't respond when you let him go.
>Satisfied that he won't choke if he pukes overnight, you get up and start walking towards the door.
>You take one last look before shutting the door behind you and immediately regret doing so as Caramel has rolled over again and is laying spread eagle with his hooves suspended up.
>He seems fine. No need to babysit him anym-
>Caramel's head twitches and you can hear some sounds eminating from him.
>You quickly rush over and drop down to turn his head to the side.
>He lets out a small cough and a burp before relaxing again with his head in your lap.
>You very briefly consider looking for some tape to hold him in place before realizing you are far too tired and lazy to follow through with that.
>Caramel is gently nuzzling his head further into your lap.
>Another one of those "he's like a dog" days it seems.
>You slide your legs out from under you and shuffle down behind Caramel.
>One arm of yours slips under the pillow you're now sharing with him while the other is draped over his barrel.
>Caramel reacts to your touch and probably your body heat by scooting back and getting closer.
>His back is pressing against your chest, while the top of his head is nuzling into the space just under your chin.
>Caramel's tail drapes over your hip as his rump bumps against your belly.
>>25853586
>He tries rolling again but only manages to press against you a few times before he finally seems to give up and accept his position.
>This isn't really what you would consider ideal.
>It's not even very comfortable.
>Caramel lets out a contented breath.
>But you'd rather all this than risk losing your bro to your own lazyness.
>You close your eyes and try to relax the best you can.
>Caramel's mane tickles against your bare chest.
>It even tickles your neck when you let the air from your nose run down over the top of his head.
>After a short time that becomes more comforting than annoying.
>Your eyelids feel too heavy to part anymore and before too long you're fast asleep.
>"-oing on?"
>You force your eyes to shut tighter in response to your body waking, hoping it might let you slip back.
>"Oh, I feel like I'm dying..." comes a groggy voice nearby.
>You groan a little as you part your very heavy eyelids.
>When your vision finally comes into focus you find, brown. Lots of brown just everywhere.
>The fu-
>The brown fades and you find yourself not in your own bed.
"The hel-"
>A force pushes against your chest eliciting a grunt from you as you slide back a little on- are you on the floor?
>"Who?! Ah! Nnnn..."
>You look to the source of the panicked voice and find Caramel clutching his head and moaning in pain.
"'Mel? Where-"
>Ohhh, all the memories come flooding back now that your brain is awake enough to work through them all.
>"Stop... Nnn, just.... I need it to be really quiet for a moment" he groans, just barely above a whisper.
>You rub the eye grime away and get to a sitting up position.
>Caramel is burying his face into one of your spare pillows while rubbing his temples slowly.
>You can hear him continue to groan, muffled by the pillow.
>He turns his head slightly and peeks one eye over to you.
>"Anon. I don't... wh- what happen- ohh my head... my everything... I feel awful."
>>25853613
>You open your mouth to respond but barely get less than the first syllable out before Caramel whispers at you to stop.
>"Just... bleh, my breath is... I need a long hot bath first. I am not ready to deal with anything until after I get cleaned up."
>He struggles to get to his hooves, but with a little lifting from you he manages it.
>Caramel just about drags himself into his bathroom and very slowly closes the door behind him.
>You rub your eyes and face with a hand, taking stock on everything that happened the night before.
>You find some relief in the knowledge that you didn't fuck everything by not taking 'Mel to the hospital like you thought you mght have to and that aside from having a massive hangover he's okay.
>Satisfied with that, you scoop up your blanket and pillow to carry them to your room.
>One whiff of yourself as you were reaching for your stuff confirms that you are aslo in pretty harsh need of a shower.
>The growling in your stomach informs you that some break-
>Nope, a glance out the window confirms that it's actually it's past noon, some lunch might do you good.
And that's all I have for now, more later tonight ideally, but if not then, tomorrow.
>>25852809
so anthro then?
>>25853735
No, instead of hooves, every limb is a human leg. It's like anthro except not at all.
>>25853746
Just got an image in my head.....
KILL IT WITH FIRE
>>25848299
>>25848323
>>25848332
>>25848400
*cough*
>>25853835
SHEEIT
It's all coming together. Anon praise be the glorious Green Emprah!
>>25853864
>>25853835
>>25853809
isn't it weird that almost all the positions of even nominal importance---politicians, rulers, teachers, landowners and shop owners etc.--we've seen so far are all female? In Ponyville at least it seems like females outnumber males in almost every area, even in the school system there seem to be only a few colts.
>>25853889
Holy shit we are the Orkiest, we da best!
>>25853956
really though the gender ratio is still nuts which is probably why dhx had to invent more male characters in eqg to prevent it from become a real taco fiesta
>>25853657
So Caramel was drugged right?
>>25854046
>taco fiesta
kek
>>25850344
>Equestria in the show is egalitarian with gender
Now I know for sure that you're just yanking our chains.
The show isn't egalitarian for shit.
Take the most misogynistic super-masculine boy's show for boys only, and you'll still see a couple of girl characters as part of the hero squad that gets shit done, or as the advisor character, or as the exposition fairy, or some other narratively powerful role. Hell, take space operas like Gundam or Battleship Yamato or whatever other sci-fi stuff you want, and you get women on the bridge doing vital functions under stressful situations just like all the guys around them.
MLP is nothing like that. We already have to suspend our "everyone should have some representation" egalitarian mindset that most of us grew up with in order to make the show palatable. The suspension of disbelief in what's acceptable is already getting stretched a lot.
A female-supremacist society really isn't that much farther a stretch, given what we know about the show's setting and characters. It's taking already-present elements of the show and some real-life related concepts and amplifying them. It is not introducing new elements out of wholecloth.
It's a fun idea that allows exploration of overplayed concepts with a different enough twist to make them seem new and interesting again, much like how the show itself replayed old plots in new, unexpected ways. We've just got a theme that decides what kinds of plots we pick, and how we generally adapt them.
Get off your high horse.
>>25851120
Except this never happened on the actual DF forum.
Look up the first "Dwarven Child Care" thread.It's *like* regular child care, except with less "care" and more "being locked in a small room with a 12 year supply of food and drink and a number of overcrowded, angry dogs.The idea was to train super-soldiers, but the results were a too-high fatality rate for mediocre stat improvements.
However, certain mental attributes DID change over time. No-one knew that it was possible for these mental attributes to change, so the experiment was considered a success.
Consider that regularly traumatising your dwarves to the point where they "don't really care about anything anymore" using mechanisms such as a puppyfall in the main dining room is a known technique, and use this to contextualize the level of trauma being inflicted here.
They might talk about horrific things to do in the game, but no-one will insult your mother.
>>25854067
You know, this show was made for girls. Little girls who probably think boys are gross and stupid.
There are almost no males because they want to use characters that their intended audience could relate to.
>>25854150
Kitten butchery near the dining hall.
>>25854150
Forgot to add: The user in question was known as
"GirlInHat" or something like that.
I remember several !!Science!! thread contributions by her, including kitten-staffed watchtowers, and, more recently, experiments with the new addition of minecarts.
She earned her place in the community, and I don't think anyone ever gave her shit for it at any point.
>>25852113Fully human.
>>25854168
As long as your not an irritating twat that's usually the case.
>>25852318
Do it.
It explains the rarity of an alicorn nicely. Twi's ascension, if you insist on having alicorn twilight, can be handwaived away by the elements having wish-granting properties.
Cadance's ascension is comic, therefore non-canonespecially once the comic turned to shit, but can be hand-waived with whatever you damn well please, since she came out of nowhere on her wedding day with Twi's brother, who at least got a little bit of childhood backstory.
>>25854155
Then why doesn't this standard apply when they're making shows for boys who think girls are gross?
There are always female power rangers, for example.
>>25853242Can the goth chicks be chubby, though. That shit is hot.
>>25853281
Do want!
>>25854155
>little girls think boys are gross and stupid
>going on 2016
>people are STILL saying this
>>25852455
>Magic exaggerates human traits in foal at expense of some pony ones.
>Foal gets broken levels of stamina, high bodily adaptability, advanced and abstract problem solving ability, clear and logical thinking, tons of will power, sharp memory, and unearthly (sometimes ruthless) drive for success.
>Loses noticeable amount of mana pool, wing strength, and earth pony strength in return.
>Also gets some human aesthetic features. (See >>25852515 )
>Equestria will never be the same...
No no no.
Nothing changes in the offspring, except that instead of horse ears, they have human ears.
>>25854475
muh soggy knees
>>25854233
Actually cadance's ascension was in a book by G.M. Berrow, and another book written by Berrow was acknowledged in canon
>>25854440
Literally sounds like some horrifying mad science nazi project to make the 'perfect specimen.'
Mistletoe rimjob?https://derpibooru.org/1050663
>>25854531
Why you do this to me? Christmas green, anybody?
>>25854531
eugh
>>25854520
>The Apex of Apex Predators and Master Race of Magic Horses breed.
>The end result isn't frightening.
>>25854575
Don't spoil the Barbarian Celestia epilogue.
>>25854575
would you make THE NEXT STEP IN HUMAN/PONY EVOLUTION with a mare
>>25854689
Yuh
>>25854689
>>25854716
How would rgre pregnancies be handled though? I mean, lets go off of the assumption that no, harems are not a thing.
>>25854531
>"Ah-Anawn? Could'ja come here, please? Ah need some... Some..."
>Applejack sighs, and you can practically hear the pride she's swallowing go down her throat.
>"Ah need some help tuh bring in mah dish fer tonight."
>You've been friends with Applejack for nearly a year, now, and you still think her attitude towards stallions is endearing.
>Might be because it hasn't had a chance to lose its' novelty, but it's interesting being on the business end of 80-years-ago sexism.
>She HATES it when you pick her up and carry her around.
>You make sure to do it whenever the opportunity presents itself.
"Sure thing, Jacks. I'll be there in just a second."
>"W-well don' take too long now, 'hear?"
>You finish putting away the fresh loaves that you bought for tonight's Christmas dinner and wipe your hands on your pants.
>You are Anon, and you just finished doing some last-minute groceries.
>You figured that flat-out cooking a turkey wouldn't really float with these pones, so you all talked about it and agreed to each bring a dish to dinner.
>You wonder what she brought.
"Where are you?"
>"Ah'm out here in the den, Anawn!"
>....you don't SMELL food.
>Maybe she brought cider in a sealed casket?
>Ooh! Maybe it's zap-apple jam! Oh god you LOVE zap-apple jam!
>Oh goodness you are way more excited about food than you should be.
>You turn the corner anhello there ponut
>Wowzers.
>That sure is Applejack's no-no place.
>GoodNESS you can see everything.
>.....
>Is that mistletoe?
>Is this what she thinks passes for seduction 'round these parts?>Because it's working.
>Applejack looks nervous, excited, and understandably uncomfortable.
>"W-well? Y'all mentioned that thar human tradition 'bout kissin' under the mistletoe."
>She wiggles her rump at you and it jiggles JUST the right amount.
>You never realized you were an ass man until just now.
>Lordy lordy, apple-bucking plus home-made southern cooking equals an ass to DIE for.
And then they fucked.
>>25854689
>"You know kid? You were flying at a week old. Your dad had to keep you in his arms for a week before you quit making runs for the window."
So do people here actually enjoy the idea of a male dominated society or do you like the concept so you can flip it around instead?
>>25854791
Little of column B for me.
>>25854752
Either equal effort on part of both parents, or the stallion dotes on the (probably annoyed) mare like a mother hen and is perpetually exhausted.
>>25854791
It's like femdom without the forbidden fruit aspect.
>>25854770
>Anon has to keep Anon Jr from jumping off the window since he cares more about his kid than his waifu does.
Amazing relationship.
>>25854752
Mare works as long as she can, then gets time off for birth and some initial care, then leaves it to the stallion while she goes back to working. I'd say she's off for about 3 months or so, depending on how bad the pre birth time is.
Why do you think there were so many cows around ponyville, and their mane export is milk.
>>25854791
Honestly, it's mostly poking fun at stereotypical gender roles with a layer of pony cuteness.
>>25854752
I'd imagine that pregnancy is a invitation to do whatever you want and rights to a paid vacation depending on what the mare does. Stallions take care of the foals, but the mothers need to be there to actually feed it.
Wouldn't stallions, who have a lot of consensual sex with mares around town, be considered sluts and shamed accordingly?
>>25854977
Cough cough Time Turner Cough
>>25854162
I never figured butchery had much of an effect. It seemed to always require a violent death happening within the dwarf's sight.
>>25854509
Actual books? Like, a "page filled with words instead of pictures" book? Is it some kind of limited edition promotional thing, or would they still be on the market?All I have for MLP merch is one derpy t-shirt, and a funko vinyl derpy thing. Also stuff from the card game.
>Anon is Celestia's husband.
>Likes the gender roles here because he can fuck around with the ponies.
>Celestia tries to sneak home one night after working, despite telling her husband she'd be home at a reasonable time.
>Light clicks on, and Anon is standing there instead of in bed, hands on hips.
>Busted.
>Guardsmares get a show of her being dressed down by her husband.
>She's kicked to the couch, head hanging low.
>Spends the next few days trying to get back into her husband's good graces.
>Kinky makeup sex where she does that thing he likes but she doesn't.
>Just as planned /Xanatos.
>>25855021
>"Where did you even get hair curlers, anyway?"
"I got some from Rarity for just such an occasion."
>>25854531
Awful anatomy, but I'd be curious about the role-reversal side of things.
Think about it. They use their mouths to handle things about as often as we use our hands to handle things. That's gotta have some dexterity and endurance implications for their tongue.
>>25854791
This thread is a way of poking fun at the radfem conspiracy theory view of the world in a healthy way. The fact that it turned out to be a fun, constructive pastime is just a bonus that gave it a surprisingly long life.
>>25854861
This.
>>25854977
Depends on whether you're going by the gender scarcity rule or not. If your gender is rare enough, you can get away with murder and still have a ton of public sympathy.
Look at some of the crazy things happening in china as a result of their One Child Per Family policy. Specifically, the changing expectations and requirements for female behaviour and male behaviour.giftbox captcha is boss.
What mare would be willing to hook up with Single Father Anon?
>>25855101
yeah there a lot of rgre greens aren't there?
It's a good concept and at times hilarious
>>25854762
Good end. VERY good end.
I'd say wrecking those child bearing hips may be an excellent end.
>>25854046
>Taco Fiesta
We need more slang like this. These are always hilarious.
Or maybe Anon starts the first annual Sausage Fest and mares come from miles around to disappointment?
>>25855189
What mare wouldn't? He's already shown he'sa skilled stay at home dad, and if the mare likes what she see's, she'll hunt that dick down.
>>25855412
What about single mother pony? I read a story where there's a hierarchy thing where if the wrong mare gets preggers at the wrong time (ie before the "head mare"), then she's booted from the herd.
>>25855412
It's like dating a single mom. Maybe if you're older and more desperate to be a parent it might seem like a good idea, but when you're young? Why bother with a stallion who can't go out without either dragging the brat along or hiring a sitter?
>>25855610
A mare with a kid and no herd? She's probably some serious trouble, if she got kicked out of her herd like that! Who wants to have to deal with smelly diapers anyways?
With herding as it is, I can see how having a kid ahead of the lead mare might fuck up inheritance issues, especially among unicorns with titles of nobility and the like. Maybe Earth and birb p0nies would've mad, but not quite as vindictive due to cultural osmosis?
>>25855611
But what older canon pony would be desperate enough to date a Single DadAnon?
>>25855732
Celestia.
Luna.
Cadence.
Twilight.
Mayor Mare.
Fluttershy.
Spitfire's mom looking for a new flame.
>>25855771
>Cadence
She's married
>>25855784
When has that ever stopped fanfic writers?
>>25855784
And?
>>25855824
True.
>>25855784
I'd explain, but it'd spoil one possible storyline.
>>25855934
>>25855864
So ignoring Shukaku's future green for a moment, Cadence doesn't seem like the type who would go for cougars.
>>25853835
holyshit
it works!
>>25854752
I'd have to say a little of >>25854818 and >>25854861
To the chagrin of the mare, the stallion will dote on her whenever possible throughout the pregnancy. The mare will, of course, be putting forth a lot more effort in preparation of having to provide for a plus one. And around a few months before, mare gets paid leave for the duration and then a few months after.
I've also got it in my head that pregnancies are flaunted by mares as a sign of significant fertility.Also, for those interested: apparently mares can go into heat a few days after bearing foals.
>>25854791
Honestly, I started with the original prompt because the thought just amused me. A big "what if" for the sake of cheesy romance.Since I can't do comedy.
>>25849738
Wait, what?
Didn't watch anything after S3. When did RD become part of the night guard?
>>25855961
She's the Princess of Love. No way to even start to guess what she's into
>>25856080
Alternate timeline shenanigans
>>25856080
She became a guard under Nightmare Moon.
That gives me an idea
>Nightmare Moon wins, canon NMM universe happens
>To add insult to energy, she has taken Celestia's crush as her mate
>Anon expects a Jabba/Leia relationship
>However, he is actually treated well
>On top of that, NMM gets embarrassed when shown any type of affection
>Anon takes full advantage of this
>>25856080
right after twilight, letting her newly acquired princesshood, became an egomanical despot and started forcing everypony to get dyke cuts and wear bondage gear.I think I read a fanfic like that once
>>25854150
Seapony genocide, best day of my life.
>>25853657
>You got cleaned up in a pretty short time.
>Checked on your shirt too, didn’t even seem to be in all that bad of a shape so you just put it in a bucket to soak.
>Currently you are in the middle bunching up your scrambled eggs to throw between two slices of bread and add in some veggies for a moderately filling late lunch.
>You suspect Caramel is not going to be interested in making dinner, or even eating at all if he still feels shitty.
>So you’re just going to go light for now and deal with later as it comes.
>The eggs seem to be firming up pretty good.
>Just a little longer and you can sandwich the hell out of-
>”ANON!”
>You jump from the sudden shout, almost flinging your eggs across the kitchen.
>You toss the spatula aside and begin making your way over to Caramel’s room.
>”Oh sweet Celestia! Anon! There you are!”
>He’s running your way with a soaked coat and mane and a towel wrapped around his waist.
>Caramel runs right into you and firmly grips you around the legs.
“Gah! Geez Caramel what? What is it?”
>Caramel is shivering against you, it doesn’t seem like he could be cold enough to do that, even dripping wet.
>”I- I can’t remember what happened last night! I’m trying but… I only have bits and pieces!”
>Ha! Fucking kek, he’s never gotten black out drunk before?!
>You breathe a sigh of relief and kneel down to comfort your bro.
“Caramel, you got completely trashed last night dude. That’s all it was.”
>He ponders on your response for a moment, trying to argue it with himself.
>The focus look on his face gradually shifts to fear as he shakes his head faster and faster.
>”No. Nonono, I didn’t… I KNOW I didn’t. I remember drinking a few, just to keep my old thoughts from coming up. Then we danced and… I had just a few more. I know I did!”
>You shrug, the logic sounds good there.
>>25856974
>”I remember… two mares, offered me one and I was still just feeling good. And then I felt… very tired and… that’s all! After that it’s just… a-a tree, Rarity… did we bump into her? and… I can’t remember anymore!”
>Caramel’s eyes are desperately searching yours for something to validate his fears but it doesn’t seem like he can find what he’s looking for.
“‘Mel, chill bro. I saw two mares, probably the ones who pumped you full of drinks, trying to get you to the bathroom to “clean you up”.”
>Caramel’s mouth is agape as he listens on.
“For a second I thought you were okay, but I stepped in and got you out of there when I figured what was going on.”
>Ain’t no horse bitches robbing your bro with you around.
>He places a hoof over his mouth.
“Then I carried you home and got you fixed up as best I could. You wouldn’t stop rolling onto your back and I didn’t want you choking so I kept you propped over until you woke up.”
>Caramel lowers his head and rests it firmly against your chest.
>”Oh Anon…”
>You rest a hand on the back of his neck before remembering that he’s completely wet and remove it, then decide “fuck it” and replace your hand.
“C’mon ‘Mel, it’s not so bad. Everyone goes a little too hard some night-“
>”Anon.”
>His head snaps up to look you in the eyes, the piercing blue in them causes your breath to catch.
>”I didn’t even have six appletinis. I’ve had more than that here at home and I have never, NEVER, felt the way I did when I woke up this morning.”
>He sounds really sure of himself.
>”If it weren’t for Zecora’s potion I don’t think I’d have made it out of the tub at all just now. It wasn’t the drinks Anon. Those two mares gave me some sleepies.”
>Slee-
“You think they drugged you?”
>Caramel’s serious demeanor cracks in an instant. his eyes quickly gain a shimmer as they fill with tears, his breath catches in his throat.
>>25856988
>He nods slowly, giving a few sniffles, before throwing his arms around you, making your damp shirt completely soaked.
>”Oh thank the moon and stars above you were there for me Anon! I-I-I don’t know what could have happened if it weren’t for you.”
>Holy shit.
>Those FUCKS!
“Caramel, if you really think those cunts did this to you. I am going to find those little f-“
>”Don’t! Just… we have to go to the ponice but… I- I don’t think I can stomach that right now. Just thinking about what could have happened is making me sick again. If you’ll go with me tomorrow then we can report it then.”
>You’d really rather take care of things the old fashioned way.
>Old fashioned being the name of the bat you keep under your bed, but… he’s right, better to just do the report thing. You can’t even remember what those two mares looked like.
>Caramel sighs, his warm breath grazes over your damp arm, providing a small noticeable warmth.
>”I wish I was as strong as you Anonymous. This is twice now that you’ve saved my flank.”
>He gently nuzzles your chest as he speaks.
>”I am so very grateful to have you as my friend Anon. I don’t think I could bring myself to go to the ponice alone. I’m just…”
>Okay, this is… getting way more touchy feely than you want to be with your bro.
>You gently push to dripping wet pony off of you and rise to your feet, brushing some of the moisture off of you.
>Caramel is looking up at you with a confused look on his face.
“You’re uh, soaking me up bro…”
>Your bro looks between you and himself, “O-oh, right… s-sorry Anon. I’m going to go and finish my bath.”
>You turn away from Caramel, and take in a deep ragged breath, hold it, try not to think about how awkward you’re feeling right now, and let it out as a smoother breath.
“Yeah colt… that uh, sounds good.”
>”You’re not going anywhere today r-right?” Caramel asks timidly.
>>25857012
>He’s all shaken up about by this whole drugged thing, you can hear it in his voice.
>You did want to run out and grab a few things, but after all this talking junk you’re not even sure what it was you wanted to get...
“No. I uh, don’t have any plans I don’t think.”
>You can hear Caramel let out a small sigh of relief, “Okay… I’ll be out in a little while.”
>You nod with your back turned.
>Caramel’s hooves clop away from you and you hear the door to his room shut.
>Man, this is all messed up.
>An ashy smell assaults your nose, breaking up all the lingering mix of feelings you didn’t know what to do with and drawing your attention back to what you were doing before.
“My eggs!”
Okay, done for tonight. More tomorrow.
>>25854052
I do believe this segment has answered your question. I appreciate you reading Anon.
>>25856072
Love this. Needs green, friendo!
>>25856276
my heart will climax if somebody writes this. I will pay real life money for HHNNNNGGG levels of quality
>>25856539
>Seapony bones are actually really REALLY valuable
>Especially when they're used to make bone crafts
>Ponies trap seaponies by luring them into tanks full of water and then draining them, "air-drowning" the seaponies so that they can be harvested
>Some are kept for breeding so that they have an alt source of seapony bonesdwarfponyfortress green when?
Let me take the reversed gender roles to the next level
Spoiler:Not going down the homo pathOR AM I?!Not even sure If I'll continue this
>Be Big Applejack
>It's late
>The sun settled ten minutes ago
>All that's left of the day is the eerie orange glow on the horizon
>Slowly fading away
>Your sister has been keeping you busy
>Or to be more precise, her absence
>Above, the brightest stars are showing themselves already
>Dusk said something about a once in a millenia meteor shower, you're certain he's sitting on the top of his treebrary
>One eye shut tight, the other pressed against his telescope
>Of course his tongue is hanging halfway out to his chin
>You smirk at the thought
>Focus! Your sis is missing!
>Pacing around the barn, you feel the young night-air around you cooling down
>It'll be cold soon
"Now where in tarnation are you hidin', sis?"
>Muttering to yourself, you glance one last time over to the darkening hills of Sweet Apple Acres
>A green flash between the apple trees
>Far out in the orchards and barely visible
>The muscles in your body tense and your stomach twists into a knot
>Every hair stands on end as you imagine the worst case scenario
>That green is unmistakable
>Again you only mutter to yourself
"Changelings."
>No time to alert the others
>Your sis might be out there
>With the speed of a zebra you gallop towards the hills
>The darkness doesn't help and you nearly trip several times
>But you make it
>A little out of breath, but in time
"Sis!"
>The red mare just sits there
>In front of her a book, crackling with green fire
"Are you okay?! Sis, talk to me!"
>Even as you approach, she stares dead ahead, ignoring the burning book two hooves away from her
>The surrounding trees are illuminated in the green light of the flaming pages
>Maybe no changelings?
>>25857517
>It still smells like trouble
>Not going to take any chances
>Then something groans
>The light of the fire robs you of the sight beyond it
>McIntosh turns to you, slowly, mouth hanging open and a hoof pointing towards the groans
>Moving closer, you buck the book away
>It's barely more than ashes at this point
>You shield your sister with your body, ready to pounce on it as you try to make sense of the stretched limbs and rags for clothing before you
"What is this."
>McIntosh doesn't answer
>She still stares at it over your back
>The creature stirs
>If it just weren't this dark...
"Tell me what this is, should I be worried?"
>"N...nope?" McIntosh swallows hard "M-Maybe?"
>You take two steps towards it
>There are no teeth sticking out of its mouth, no tusks or canines
>There are hands
>But no claws, no horns, no hooves, no wings
>Does it have anything at all?
>Assured in your superiority, you walk up to it
>It looks soft, giving it a poke-
>...oop - ..zoop - .azoop
>That sounds like...
>fazoop - FAZOOP
>...and looks like Dusk
>Rapidly teleporting through the orchards
>Purple puffs of light chaining straight towards you and your sis
"Guess he was lookin' at more than jus' the night-sky."
>McIntosh looks at you quizzically "Huh?"
"Nothin'"
>With one last flash of purple and the sound of an electrical discharge, Dusk Shine makes his appearance
>"I saw a light! Is it changelings?!" he huffs in a panic, glancing around frantically
>>25857528
>Hmm, the two of you must have been spending too much time togehter as of lately
>Shaking your head, you point to the unconscious heap of limbs
>Dusk's eyes narrow "How do I know you aren't changelings?" he asks as suspicious as it gets
"Yer yaoi collection is hidden unmmpffh!"
>He hooks one arm around your neck and stuffs your mouth with his free appendage
>"Shhh! Shh! Okay, okay, I believe you, it is you!" he whisper-shouts
>Then his gaze falls on your sister
>Eyes widen
>A few hairs spring out of his mane in odd directions
>He starts grinding his teeth and
>"What's yaoi?" McIntosh asks, McIntosh the angel, the pure and unsullied
>Dusk snaps out of it, raises his head and stares at the apples in the trees
>"Uhhh, it's science! Yes! Science about, uhh, pears! Yes, pears and pear trees and, uh, pear stuff."
>Wow, really?
>Really?
>"Ugh." your sis makes her emotions way "Yuck."
>Dusk turns to you "That was entirely unneccesary and-"
>His gaze turns to the burning book "Oh no! Is that my First Edition Commentaries on the Entanglement Theory of the Multiverse Part IV, by Star Twirl the Buxom?!"
>He's all over it, extinguishing the flames with a quick spell
>"No no no." lifting it with his magic makes it worse, half the charred pages fall out
>"Noooo..." he starts weeping silently "It was signed..."
>Sitting next to him, you rub his shoulder
"There, there. Ah'm sure we'll find a replacement."
>A few silent minutes pass as Dusk mourns his fallen possession "It was my seventh rarest book." he finally admits
>Sometimes you want to punch his face
>You look around, feeling something is off
>"What is it?" Dusk asks depressed
"Hm, got the fellin' we fergot somethin'. Hmm, nah, must be mah imagination."
>McIntosh assures you "Eee-nope." and points to a slight depression in the grass
>As if somepony was lying there
>You shoot your sis a questioning look
>Help me out here
>"The weird fella? Long legs?" she asks in an almost mocking tone
"Ohhh, yeah. Um. Where is he?"
>>25857545
>Be Anon
>You run
>You run so far away
>You just run all night and day
>But you know, you can't get away
>Because you messed up
>Royally
>But where?
>The guy on the internet said you had to mix the magic incantation with the rules
>So you did
>You integrated rule 63 into the spell
>That was the one where everyone is having sex, right?
>And it worked, but why are Applejack, Big McIntosh and Twilight genderbent?
>Where is the lewd utopia you dreamt of?!
>A cold shiver runs down your spine
>Not just because you're wearing nothing but your bathrobe, but also because you're afraid of the implications you witnessed
>No time to waste
>You walk towards the lights
>Ponyville
>There's nothing else around, you watched the show
>>25857557
Its rule 64 you pleb, otherwise keep going
>>25857557
>Be █
>You wake up to a startle
>Heart pounding in your chest like an out-of-control animal
>Your heart pounds so hard, it echoes throughout your cottage
>Animals already complaining
>You've never had this before
>Worry dominates your mind, is this normal?
>Trying to muffle the pounding by holding a pillow over your chest does nothing
>You squeeze your eyes, hoping for this nightmare to end
>A muffled voice comes from your door "Open up, please? I'm a friend."
"Oh."
>Now you're embarrassed
>Being wide awake, getting out of bed is no problem
>Carefully you stroll to the door
"Uhm, uh, w-who is there?"
>"Oh thank god. At least you sound normal, Fluttershy." The voice exclaims
>Opening the door by a small crack, you spy a primate like creature
>He looks back at you and you rear back from his piercing gaze
>"No, please. Don't be afraid. It's okay. I know you don't know me, but I know you."
>That just makes it worse
>You heard of mares stalking stallions
>"I need your help, please?" he pleads, every word sounding sincere in your ears
"W-Who are you, if you don't mind telling me."
>He introduces himself in a hurry "I'm Anonymous, call me Anon if you like."
"N-nice to meet you, Anonymous. I'm-"
>He cuts you off "Fluttershy, I know."
>But you finish your sentence nonetheless
"...Butterscotch."
>Opening the door completely, you expose yourself to him
>He doesn't look very dangerous, just imposing
>And in pain "Not you too. Anyone but you."
>With a large stride he closes the distance between the two of you
>It would be frightening if he didn't get on his knees immediately
>His hands cup your cheeks, eyes inspecting your features
>>25857570
>"No, the jawbone, too prominent. Broad chest and..." he falls on his side, taking a look at your no-go zone "Pony balls." he says defeated
>Certain that you're about to be sexually assaulted, you steel yourself
>He will push you down
>Drag his tongue from your collarbone up your neck to your cheek
>Touching your ears
>Rubbing your belly
>Steadily going lower
>You dare to open an eye
>He's not doing it
>It looks like he's leaving instead
>Guilt overcomes you, you made him uncomfortable with your indecent thoughts
>And sending him back out into the dark, cold night
>"Sorry, Fluttershy. I'll be on my way."
"Wait!"
>He stops, looking over his shoulder
>Words are powerful
>You made him stop with one word
>Don't stop now, be assertive!
"You can stay, if you don't mind of course."
>He grins, looks into the night, then back to you
>Pointing a finger idly at you he says with a soft voice "We're not sharing a bed."
That's all for now
>>25857041
I swear, every other sentence in this story has to be followed up with 'no homo.'
>>25854860
>Anon has arms and his wife doesn't
>I take every opportunity to make every situation as dramatic as possible
>>25856302
>I think I read a fanfic like that once
You mean... after you figured out what it was about, you kept reading it?
>>25857596
Is the whole universe rule 63 or just the important characters?
1950's sexism? 1950's sexism.
>Anon isn't into horsefucking
>Gets job, lives alone
>Mares worried when he reveals that he's in his late 20's and still hasn't horesmarried
>Mares constantly dropping hints that he should settle down; try to steer him towards potential wives
>Anon's stallion friends grumble when their mares "encourage" them to mate (marital rape wasn't criminalized in the 1950's in the US)
>Anon brings this up in conversation later with mare friends
>Uncomfortable looks all around
>Anon starts talking about his own sex life
>Mares shocked about how openly he, a male, flaunts his sexuality
>>25857517
>Big Applejack
>Dusk said something about
Reversed Gender Roles, or Rule 63 Equestria? The two aren't the same thing.
>youngest sibling still a sister
>Youngest sibling's name is... McIntosh?
>Who was caught with some kind of magic book that burst into flame?
Since when has the Applebloom character been known for taking super-rare magic books and activating the magic in them on the farm after dark?
>>25857557
>>Ponyville
>>There's nothing else around, you watched the show
Canterlot is within sight, just up the mountain. It's visible.
>Anon arrives in Equestria
>Pones have reversed gender roles
>Their sexism is on par with [INSERT YEAR ASSOCIATED WITH CERTAIN LEVEL OF SEXISM IN THE US]'s culture
>Anon is asked what gender he is
>Says "male"
>Asked why he's acting like a mare if that's the case
>They all figure out the reversed gender norms thing
>"lol ok that makes sense"
>Pones go on with life now treating anon like a female, but knowing he's male
Isn't this basically the way it would always go?
>>25858628
>Years of gender roles ingrained in their culture and in their own personal lives from birth to the moment the meet Anon
>"Hey just treat me like a mare, okay?"
>Expects ponies to drop it like it's hot whenever he's around
>>25858652
I mean, I get your point, but if aliens showed up and they didn't look like humans whatsoever and their females were the dominant ones... I'm pretty sure most humans wouldn't be too slow on the draw to get it.
Some incredibly backwards places in the middle east might go full retard sure, but I can even see 50's US figureheads treating female aliens like male humans.
>>25858675
I understand completely, and you're right; if we encountered some other species where gender roles really WERE reversed, it wouldn't take us long to shrug and go along with it. But >>25858628, while completely logical, doesn't make for a very interesting read; especially in a thread where the main focus is males being treated like females from years and years ago.
Again, you aren't wrong, but it's not as entertaining.
>>25858533
>The two aren't the same
That's the joke.
>>25855611
Reversed != mirrored. A single mother is still someone who popped out a child and the other parent didn't bother to stay. The single father is still someone who took over. When the mare pumped out a uit and refused to take care of it.
And single fathers get mad respect.
>>25857596
Thst's just regular r63?
>>25858386
Horsemarriage is RGRE's greatest ivention
>>25858628
>>25858675
>>25858776
You are implying that rational thought overpowers the half-animalistic "ooh! that's a male!" with no exceptions.
The "look nothing alike" thing would help a little, but ponies and humans don't look nothing alike. At the very least the deeper voice plays against Anon here.
And I don't think humans are any better at this.Some Uddertale autists are seriously freaking out because there is a male robot there that has a human-female looking body (or at least human-female looking legs) . Supposedly knowing that it's a "he" doesn't stop their pants from filling with determination.
>>25858864
>You are implying that rational thought overpowers the half-animalistic "ooh! that's a male!" with no exceptions.
You're not wrong, there would for sure be some subconscious bias there. But come on, no one would be forcing anon to marry or ignoring rape.
>>25858864
This^
US today: no shits given if alien race is matriarchy.
US 60 years ago: shits the bed if a woman is anything more than her husbands wife
trick is these stories arent in modern US, so "just treat me like a mare" won't do nothing for Anon.
>>25858931
yep, picrelated
>US today: no shits given if alien race is matriarchy.
Doubt that still. Have no proofs though.
>>25858907
Force? Gently encourage! If Anon is basically a mare, certainly he should see the reason in this!
>anon is basicly a tomboy version of whatever they have
>him blushing ovrr his first kiss drives said mare nuts
Writing it down so I dont forget
>>25859055
Save it to a text file marked "RGR Prompts" or "Story Ideas". Otherwise you'll be searching for it 3 threads from now hating the fact that you have to read through 2000 posts worth of junk to find the two relevant lines you want.
>>25859087
Agreed. Loving my "story ideas" google doc.
>>25858675
To be fair, there are othet species in Equestria generally considered by the thread to follow the same reversal, including one that looks huminoid. So it'd be more like humanity in the 50s meets two or three alien species that match our roles, and then a blue version of aliens #2 that is reversed.
>>25858864
>spoiler
Robots don't have meaningful genders because they lack chromosomes. Unless one has been arbitrary assigned, the pronoun "he" is a stand-in for gender neutral.
>>25858272
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/206168/twilight-takes-charge
It's dark. Like really dark. So much that it wraps around to being hilarious
>>25852113
Satyr, nignog. All day erry day.
>>25858533
>Reversed Gender Roles, or Rule 63 Equestria? The two aren't the same thing.
Meh, it's readable so it's close enough.
>>25858628
>>25858675
>>25858652
>>25858776
>>25858864
>>25858907
It'll go whatever way makes the story the writer wants to tell work.
That's how Equestria works.100% CANON
>>25858864
Horsemarriage is always good for a chuckle.
>>25858675
>Anon is the sexy space ayylmao babe
>Pony Xcom is after him
>Accidentally seduces all the rookies
>>25859302
>>Anon is the sexy space ayylmao babe
>>Pony Xcom is after him
>>Accidentally seduces all the rookies
There was some green about that years ago, where Anon played the scary alien to the hopless panicky X-Pony recruits trying to eliminate him as he abducted little ponies to perform nefariouscuddlingson them.
>>25859302
>Horsemarriage is always good for a chuckle.
what, the concept of marrying a hoers or the word "horsemarraige"
>>25855732
Christmas cake Cheerilee
End of her prime Spitfire
Self hating alcoholic single mom Berry Punch
Prickly, socially retarded, desperately alone tsun-Bon
Anxiety ridden agoraphobe Roseluck
>>25859213
The robot in uddertale is a vessel for a male ghost.
>>25859302
>Horsemarriage is always good for a chuckle.
horsemarriage is no joke, especially when you're not horsemarried and looking for a horsemarriage of your own :(
Continuation of this shit: https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25629695/#25632984
>You steam along at 60km/h weaving in and out of traffic.
“Damn traffic is too thick. What’s legal speed anyway?”
>”Don’t worry about that, you’re doing great. How fast are we going?”
“60 kilometers an hour. I’ll up that to 65 or so.”
>”What?”
“What?”
>”What in the hay is a ‘kilometer’?”
“A unit measuring distance, equaling 1000 meters.”
>”Alright, whatever. This part of the highway hardly has any speed control, just go as fast as you like.”
>You keep on the highway, overtaking carriages whenever it’s safe to do so.
>”Up by that place. Exit right. The one that says ‘now leaving apple country’”
>You do what you’re told, and calmly take the exit.
>The highway opens up a bit, so you increase your speed further to 70 km/h.
>”Just keep following this road till you get to a exit that says ‘speed lane’. The speed is 10 wings an hour by the way. I see you’re going faster.”
“I’m doing 72 or something.”
>”We’re gonna have to figure out that measurement thing at some point.”
>You keep traveling along.
>”Hold up sweetheart. There’s an intersection up there. Slow down.”`
>You do as you’re told, and drop your speed to 40 or so, faster than the others, but slower.
>Sure enough, the cop at the intersection stops your side of traffic.
>You approach and slow down to a halt.
>”Damn, these brakes. Are they duel shoes?”
“Drum brakes on the back, and calipers on the front.”
>You idle at the intersection waiting your turn.
>>25859483
>”Say, what’s with all these knobs and buttons?”
“Which ones?”
>”All of them. The one on your controls wheel, on the door, the panel. Why so many?”
“This one turns the hazard lights on. This is a radio, and its controls. This one is hot or cold, vent selector and fan speed. A/C, circulation and defroster.”
>”What the hay do they do?”
“Hazard lights, plays music, atmospheres control, and clears the rear window if it gets fogged up.
>”Music? Damn phonographs are expensive. How much did this cost?”
“It was standard with the car. And it’s not a phonograph. It plays cassettes not records. Or radio input.”
>”It was standard? It’s not custom made?”
“No. I wish I had a cassette to play.”
>You both stop talking for a while; you think about how long you have to wait at an intersection.
“How long do you have to wait at intersections?”
>”Hmm? Only about 10 minutes or so.”
“10 minutes? Damn, why so long?”
>”It’s so that we can rest after driving. Not everyone has a beast rig like you, sweetheart.”
>Her face lights up.
>”I remember back during the early rallies, my grandma and mom used to take me. The cars weren’t nearly as good as they are now. The racers would all be lined up exhausted. I remember one of them fell asleep as soon as the race was over.”
“How fast where the carriages?”
>”Back then? The fastest, ‘Dare Devil Dash’ was doing like 30 wings. Dad threw a fuss when we were going to see her. Said it was too dangerous to go that fast.”
“And now?”
>”That record held for a pretty long time. It was just 3 years ago her student broke it. Speed of about 34.”
“What’s the speed limit here?”
>”10 wings. Not like it means anything, most carriages struggle to get past 8. Why?”
“Nothing.”
>>25859487
>You sit back in silence, and watch the traffic pass by.
>You’re starting to feel hot in the car, though the pony told you not to open the windows for fear of ‘wind mites’
>”Oh. Finally our turn.”
>Sure enough, the other lanes have stopped and the cop is motioning your lane to move.
>You apply throttle and quickly accelerate to 30.
>”Get past the intersection before speeding, darling. Rather not have a cop on our tails.”
>You match your speed with a carriage next to you.
“How fast is this guy going?”
>”Hmm? Looks about 5 or 6 wings.”
“My speedometer reads around 20-23 km/h.”
>You have to think for a minute. 6 times 4 is 24
>”Well yea, you’re not using wings for some weird reason. So?”
>5/6 is about 0.8 something.
“So, 23 over 6, equals about 3.8.”
>”A wing is 3.8 kilometers? Gotcha. That was pretty genius sweetheart.”
>You start accelerating further, until you are once again going 60 km/h.
>Driving on the current road for a while.
>Wheel laughs to herself.
>”Say Anon, dear. What’s our speed?!”
>She talks in a fun voice. You try to play along.
“60 kilometers an hour, dear.”
>”60 divided by 3.8 is?”
“15.7!”
>”15!”
>You both say the answer at the same time.
“15? My old chemistry teacher would have said ‘you’re already 50% out.’”
>”Well. I rounded.”
“Then it would have been 16.”
>”Oh shut up!”
>>25859516
>She responds playfully. Then immediately regrets it.
>”I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get-“
“Relax. I have thicker skin than that.”
>She stops talking but doesn’t seem any more comfortable.
>You know she feels bad about something, but you don’t know what.
“So, you were all panicky when we got on the highway. Now you’re calm, What happened?”
>”I didn’t know you’d rip the highway like this. Or that your carriage would be so good at it.”
“Oh please don’t make me blush. It’s but a compact economy car.”
>”Economy car? Babe, you don’t know a diamond when you hold it in your hoofs. Or paws. Claws?”
“Hands. No really. This is just an economy car. It’s just pretty aerodynamic.”
>”I don’t believe you. Anyway, we were pretty late, but at this rate we’ll have time to spare.”
“Alright.”
>The two of you stay quiet for a while.
>You sometimes catch her looking at you, in your peripheral vision.
>Other times, she just stares out the window.
>You try to ignore the uncomfortable atmosphere, and instead think of how hot it’s gotten.
>Can’t open the window because of the mites or whatever. And don’t want to turn the A/C on without letting her know.
>You realize she’s looking at you again, you think she’s worried for some reason.
>Not knowing what to do, and getting uncomfortable in the heat. You return her gaze.
“You ok?”
>”Oh... Yea. Is it just me or is It getting hot in here?”
“Yea, it’s getting pretty hot.”
>”Yea... Don’t think of opening a window though. I prefer not coughing like crazy.”
>You take that as her consent.
“We don’t have to.”
>Reaching down to the atmosphere control. You turn one dial all the way to the solid blue circle, turn the fan to 4 and turn the A/C and circulation on.
>>25859523
>”What the hay?”
>The pony reacts to the blower sound coming on.
>In an instant, the cold A/C air blows in your face. You turn the vent setting to the dash.
>”Woah! What?! How the hay?”
>The pony is immediately excited by the cold air blasting her face.
“What?”
>”Where is the cold air coming from?”
“There’s the A/C compressor under the hood. I push this button, the A/C compressor clutch engages, and it cools air, before sending it back.”
>”How do the buttons work?”
>You point to each button as you speak.
“This one controls the temperature, blue is colder, red is hotter. This control, which vent is used. Dash, dash and feet, feet, feet and windshield and windshield.”
>Spoked wheel listens like a child on a class trip.
“This controls how fast the blower spins. The buttons engage or disengage the A/C clutch. And this button circulates air.”
>You look back to the road, to make sure you’re not about to hit something.
>This is kinda dangerous.
>”What does that mean?”
“Circulation? If you have this on, the car uses only the car from the cabin, and cools it, before putting it back into the cabin. If circulation were off, the car would be taking in air from the outside, cooling it, and then putting it in the cabin. I kept it on, cos of those mites you said.”
>>25859533
>”Who and how did they put this together?”
“You’ve really never seen any of this?”
>”No. Most carriages just barely get you places faster. It’s why you don’t see Pegasus in the carriage industry. Well other than Dash and her student. And me.”
“Pegasus?”
>”What? You’ve been hanging out with one all day.”
“I don’t get it. Pegasus was a horse with wings right?”
>”Yea! See, wings. See any of us with wings, it’s a Pegasus. Any ponies with horns are unicorns, and the ones with neither are earth ponies.”
“What about ones with both?”
>”Alicorns. Did you see one?”
“Yea, yesterday. Pink one, female. There was also a guy in her a car. She tried to race me.”
>”Princess Cadence. God I hate her. Who won?”
>You laugh.
“I did.”
>”Ha! Beaten by a colt, and in front of her husband!”
“Why the hate?”
>”For her? She’s the kind of pony who buys a good car, and makes it worse because it looks better. What was she driving?”
“I don’t know. A pink body, gold framed, silver wheels and crown grill.”
>”Yea, don’t tell me. It’s her new Ground roller’s royalty. It’s a good carriage.”
“You sound mad.”
>”Like I said, she takes a good car and makes it worst. But I guess I should just take what I can get, she and Luna are the only royalty keeping Twilight and Celestia from slowing the road to walking speed.”
“Who’re they?”
>”Damn, sweetheart. I want to see the rock you live under.”
>She giggles for a second.
>”Princess Luna is the eccentric night princess. She’s always been a bit weird, though after some...err, events, she got weirder.”
>She looks uncomfortable to talk about whatever the events where.
>”Anyway. She’s pretty smart, or just has some good engineers. She started her own performance carriage brand. 71 of the 79 speed records have been set by her brand. Including the longest standing record by Dare Devil Dash, and the newest one by her student.”
>>25859539
“Damn. I can see why she doesn’t want maximum speed being decreased.”
>”Yea. The other two are a bit too cautious. I can see where they’re coming from, but I don’t think it would do much.”
“Huh. So what where you saying about carriages?”
>”Huh? Oh yea, most carriages trade luxury for performance.”
“I’m used to performance and luxury coming hand in hand. Or just luxury.”
>”Man, you gotta take me to this ‘Ronto.”
>She looks out the window for a minute, focusing on the golden wheat fields.
>She looks back towards you.
>”Anyway. Luxury carriages have stuff like comfortable interior and free-floating chassis. Stuff like that takes away space for larger condensers, focus crystals and performance parts.”
“Why can’t you just make them bigger? Like SUVs.”
>”You should meet Princess Luna, she’d like you. Her carriages are all unreasonably large.”
“Unreasonably large?”
>”I don’t think I could do it justice. I mean your car is pretty big.”
“For you.”
>”Yea, most of our carriages are much smaller. But if you see a Moon ship, you’d know what I mean.”
>You stop talking, and just drive.
>The colorful farmer fields remind you of home.
>You don’t know how far off course you went, but nothing around you looks like home.
>You don’t know how long your mind wanders, but you finally focus back on to the road.
>You look to your right, and see the pony has fallen asleep.
>Her head is leaning onto the door, eyes closed.
>Even though your car automatically locks when you drive, you press the lock button just to be sure.
>The pony stirs from the locking motors. Then settles back.
>You speed up to almost 90, and drive for another 10 or 15 minutes.
>Soon, you see an exit to your right that reads ‘Speed lane’ and steer towards it.
>The road is clear, so you accelerate to 110km/h.
>You probably shouldn’t do that, seeing as you don’t know the way.
>>25859546
>Considering waking the pony and asking for the way, you spot a sign that says ‘Road End 8 W’
>Weird, considering there’s nothing here.
>You slow down to 60, and keep your eyes peeled.
>Soon enough, you spot buildings, luxurious looking buildings with a big sign hanging between ‘Speedy Lane’s Rallies’
>This looks like It’s the place.
>You notice carriages in lines along the side of the roads.
>Look like manufacturers showing off their cars like an auto show.
>”*YAWN* I see you found the place.”
“Yea, I thought it’d be harder.”
>”Just follow this road to the end, you’ll find the contestants parking there.”
“Alright.”
>”We’re really early. Which is fine, it may take a couple hours to convince that fat bat to let you compete.”
>You follow your instructions, and travel to the contestants parking.
>The parking has fans in awe of the cars, drivers shining their vehicles and others standing around talking or otherwise.
>They eye you curiously, as you enter.
>You think of why Wheel asked you to do this.
>Strictly speaking, it’s a deal. But you know it means more to Spoked.
>People point at your car admiring it, as you pull into an empty space and stop.
>They’ll be a witness to the great race. You know you’ve got to win.
>>25859554
>>25859546
>“Why can’t you just make them bigger? Like SUVs.”
>>”You should meet Princess Luna, she’d like you."
Luna confirmed for best princess.
>>25857876
Isn't it a great analogy to life?
>>25851295
Puns are fun, and if there is no pun, there is no fun.
>>25859554
I was wondering when you'd come back.
>>25857041
great update
>>25857876this story really makes me want to have a gay friend
>>25859554
Glad you're back. This is too good to let die. Pastebin?
I'm really liking the Minotaur stuff from the last thread, there any more good green out there besides Cow Tipping?
