>Salutations Anon.
>Please come in, and have a seat.
>You look very appealing today.
> Please allow me to rub your back.
>You’re muscles are hard, like a rock.
>How about some soup, Anon? I made it special for you.
>Anon, we have know each other approximately two years, three months and, forty seven days.
>As is customary in any friendship, I am entitled a favor, in return for my faithful attending of your social needs.
>It is to my understanding that you are quite influential in the Equestrian Archeological Society for your discovery of a large painite vain. A vain that you quickly claimed.
>Anonymous, the favor i’d like to ask, is sponsorship.
>As you know I’m a very accomplished geologist.
>I have knowledge of an erbium deposit in the frozen north, but I need protection, supplies, and funding.
>Anonymous I would give you a reasonable return on your investment of course.
But the real question is.... Will you suck my dick or nah?
>>25840854
I'd prefer a pony who isnt completely numb from the seizures their sister has given them.
>>25840878
>Oh, I was under the impression you were of higher character Anon.
>If I must. Only if you guarantee my expedition will be funded.
>And Anon.....please keep these events private...as a kindness to our friendship...please.
I demand 80%, non-negotiable. You can have all the scientific acknowledgment, I don't give a crap about that.
>>25840957
>80% Anon?
>Please understand that this a large sum.
>Can't we perhaps do something more reasonable?
>How about 50% or 60.
>I really need this Anon, bolder is sick.
>Anonymous please consider our friendship and history.
>>25840984
Don't try to fool me, Maud.
Boulder isn't even alive.
>>25840984
>I really need this
>Boulder is sick
>Exposing your tenuous bargaining position willingly
Not gonna make it.
>>25840854
Just then Maud's office erupts in a fanfare of flashbulbs and guards sounding their fluglehorns
>No, no, no god no, please not thisagain
>"GEE, I SURE AM SORRY, DR BORING, BUT ANON IS INVESTING IN MY AWESOME IDEA!"
>Maud remains stonefaced and unblinking, the streamers lazily blowing around her face make her look like Karloff's mummy
>'Anonymous, what is this.'
>"Disregard anything this mare says, Maud, please continue. Condense, I'm going to have to ask you leave. I have NO interest in funding your 'Peetzer Planet' idea."
>"G-GIVE IT A CHANCE, ANONYMOUS, I SAW IT IN A MOVIE, IT WORKED FOR THEM!"
I'll see if I can spare some men. How difficult is the deployment? C Rank? B?
>>25841006
To be fair, maud is kind of autistic.
>>25840854
>two years, three months and, forty seven days.
> three months and, forty seven days
That's four months, champ.
>>25841017
>Anonymous, this expedition is within the frozen north.
>There are frost giants, necromancers, and Sombras hidden faithful.
>Expected causalities number in the hundreds due to attrition alone.
>I would need A rank, minimum.
>Anonymous...
>Please do not despair.
>The discovery of this vain, could change history.
>Celestia might claim this land, and we'd get first claiming rights on the veins.
>We'd become Nobles of the north, it sounds quite appealing, correct Anon?
>>25840984
I'll go down to 60 if i can have 100 bjs plus the one right now.
>>25841074
Maud, you aren't fooling anyone with those grandiose fantasies. You and I both know that you only want to find that vein so you can shove some previously undiscovered minerals up your cooch.
>>25841074
A? Hmm... I'll send my S++ unit with 5 tanks, anyway. Expect maybe one or two causalities.
>>25841003
>How could you say that Anon
>Boulder still has some color.
>Anonymous, he can make it...
>Please don't do this to me Anon, I'm begging you.
This was all said monotonely.
>>25841086
>Very well Anon, but...lets not do this in front of boulder.
"I will personally lead this expedition. We have Templars, Mages, and many Warriors who could march in just a few days. The Inquisition has scouts nearby who could provide us ample warning of any dangers we might face. However, we cannot do this out of the goodness of our hearts. Our craftsmen are in need of fine stone to work. If you could, say, guarantee the allegiance of the Pie farms to our Order, and see that we receive the supplies we need in return..."
>>25841093
>What I do with my portion of the vein is none of your concern Anonymous.
>Anonymous I am beginning to believe that you are not taking me seriously.
>We are good friends Anon, I have always been faithful in my promises.
>So I ask you now as a friend to help me, help me as I have helped you before.
>>25841139
>Forgive me Anon, I am just so happy
>I.....I can't believe you're going to help my dream come true.
>Anonymous, I think I love you.
>Take me Anonymous.
>>25841177
"Take you? I'm sorry, but I'm already seeing someone."
>>25841104
>S++
>not SS+
>Are you even taking it seriously, Anon?
>>25841199
>Oh....I was joking of course.
>I meant I loved you Platonicly.
>We are friends....and nothing more.
>I agree to your terms....and on an unrelated topic.
>Please inform me if things don't work out with you and your partner.
>That being said, I hope your relationship.....is....successful.
>>25841200
Does... Does such a rank exist?
>>25841238
>>25841200
>Not having SS++
And I thought I was a faggot.
Incoming joke that only 'Muricans will understand:
>"Sure thing. In fact, I think I might even tag along."
"I am not sure that is the most efficient method of moving along with this operation, Anon. Your biology is not as well suited to deal with cold climates."
>You heft both of the fifteen-pound hammers that you keep leaning in the corner of your room, one over each shoulder.
>"Maud, I saw the toughest spots in Equestria helping to build that railroad from Canterlot to Appleoosa. I can handle it."
"If you are sure, Anon, then I would suggest dressing very warmly."
>You chuckle, draping a jacket over your shoulder.
>After all, the name of Anon Henry is legend after you beat the Flimflam Bros. drilling machine into the Canterlot Caves.
>What's a little mining expedition up north by comparison?
>>25841284
A for effort. C for execution.
John Henry is American Folk lore, not music.
was okay, could be better.
>>25841074
I will ROCK the living STONE out of them
>>25841226
>3 weeks later...
"MAKER'S BREATH, Maud, what in the hells is this 'Erbium' you are looking for, and why is it in an area guarded by a HIGH DRAGON?!"
>>25840854
How about you inspect the veins on my dick instead?
>>25841331
Carlos get the fuck out of here you fucking faget I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth
>>25841372
>Erbium is a chemical element in the lanthanide series, with symbol Er and atomic number 68.
>It is a silvery-white solid metal when artificially isolated, natural erbium is always found in chemical combination with other elements on Earth.
>As such, it is a rare earth element which is associated with several other rare elements in the mineral gadolinite from Ytterby in Sweden, where yttrium, ytterbium, and terbium were discovered.
>>25841422
>"Why would you need such a thing? How is this useful to us? Anonymous, we should never have wasted time coming all this way."
>>25841309
I never said I was done...
>You reach the train station about fifteen minutes later, Maud's usual awkward silence filling the air.
>On board, you're greeted by a twenty-pony group, all of whom are sitting quietly on each side of the train car until one of them notices you.
>"Hey...is that..."
>A few of them begin to migrate out of their seats and toward you, and you recognize the feeling of a dozen sets of eyes running up and down your body.
>"It is! That's Anon Henry! Maud, you never told us..."
>The rest of the sentence is lost in a scramble of cheers as the whole car except for a few stragglers run over to shake your hand.
>This goes on for about ten minutes, passing along greetings, introductions, and even a few autographs before you follow Maud to her booth in the corner of the car.
>As you slide into the seat beside her, you're genuinely shocked to see her sisters Limestone and Marble Pie.
>"Huh. Fine job getting this one away from the farm, Maud. Good to see you both."
>Limestone is her usual oh-so-joyous self and passes you only the slightest of nods as greeting, while Marble simply seems to shrink further into her seat as you lean forward onto the table between the long seats.
>Maud isn't one for small talk, though, and whips out a map that you quickly recognize as the northern regions, since the southernmost point on it is Manehattan.
>On it is marked a group of circles, each with a specific label marking a quantity of erbium.
"I recently received permission from the Yakyakistan high council to pass through their western territory to reach these deposits, Anon, so we should reach our first destination within two days. As you can see, there should be-"
>"Excuse me, Miss Maud?"
>One of the younger miners is standing next to your table now, having gotten there extremely stealthily.
>"Sorry, but I was just wonderin' if maybe Mr. Henry and I might have a quick hoof-wrestling match."
>>25840854
Only if i get to rut you nightly in front of the entire camp while they watch. I want your mother to also be there licking my asshole as your sisters kiss and touch each other.
>>25841445
>Erbium's everyday uses are varied. It is commonly used as a photographic filter, and because of its resilience it is useful as a metallurgical additive. Other uses include
>Nuclear technology in neutron-absorbing control rods.
>When added to vanadium as an alloy, erbium lowers hardness and improves workability.
>Erbium oxide has a pink color, and is sometimes used as a colorant for glass, cubic zirconia and porcelain. The glass is then often used in sunglasses and cheap jewelry.
>Erbium-doped optical silica-glass fibers are the active element in erbium-doped fiber amplifiers (EDFAs), which are widely used in optical communications.[13] The same fibers can be used to create fiber lasers. In order to work efficiently, erbium-doped fiber is usually co-doped with glass modifiers/homogenizers, often >aluminum or phosphorus. These dopants help prevent clustering or Er-ions and transfer the energy more efficiently between the Er ions and the signal. Co-doping of optical fiber with Er and Yb is used in high-power Er/Yb fiber lasers. Erbium can also be used in erbium-doped waveguide amplifiers.
An erbium-nickel alloy Er3Ni has an unusually high specific heat capacity at liquid-helium temperatures and is used in cryocoolers; a mixture of 65% Er3Co and 35% Er0.9Yb0.1Ni by volume improves the specific heat capacity even more.
>A large variety of medical applications (i.e. dermatology, dentistry) utilize erbium ion's 2940 nm emission (see Er:YAG laser), which is highly absorbed in water (absorption coefficient about 12000/cm). Such shallow tissue deposition of laser energy is necessary for laser surgery, and the efficient production of steam for laser enamel ablation in dentistry.
>But for our current purposes, we plan to sell it to blacksmiths to make bigger weapons lighter.
>>25841403
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>25841490
>"You would be wise to listen to the little pony, Anonymous. My people used to work with this mineral, though it has been long since such a deposit was located. It is said that Erbium-tipped weapons not only cut like steel while weighing less, but also prove even more effective against the likes of Darkspawn."
"Very well, Maud. But that still leaves the question of the Dragon between us and the supposed location."
>>25841481
>You shrug and slide out of the table, smirking a bit as a larger group of ponies begin to gather to watch the spectacle.
>Just one booth down, you take a seat again and set up your arm, latching your hand around his hoof.
>"You ready?"
>He nods, gulping audibly.
>"Then go."
>You feel a pressure on your arm, but nowhere near enough to force it to move.
>Tens upon thousands of hammer swings have built your muscles up to steel cables, and you give a single flex before throwing his hoof straight down into the table.
>The whole crowd gives a big belly laugh as the next pony steps forward, setting himself up again.
>On and on the cycle goes, the crowd shrinking by one every time you win until only a few are left and someone you weren't expecting takes a seat in front of you.
>"Limestone?!"
>She grins somewhat evilly and sets up her hoof, leaving you to do the same.
>"Um...you sure about this?"
>The grin begins to fade and she rolls her eyes.
>"Come on, Anon. You're not gonna hurt my poor little hoof, now quit being such a filly and set it up!"
>The insult isn't lost on you, and you wrap your comparatively huge hand around her hoof and prepare to end it fast.
>"Ready?"
>She nods, her eyes wide with something you'd like to think is excitement.
>"Go."
>Without warning, she jumps forward in her seat, planting her lips on yours and pressing into you.
>Your mind and body fall senseless, and you don't even register that the back of your hand has just hit the table.
>She does, though, and leans back immediately, that same evil grin still on her face.
>"You...you cheated."
>"What, can't stand being beaten by a mare?"
>You lean back yourself, a grin parting your lips.
>"I didn't say it bothered me."
>Now it's her turn to look a bit shocked, and she slides out of the booth a bit quicker than she came in, casting you odd looks as she moves back to her own seat, leaving you to think about what just happened.
>>25841529
>With all do respect....the fuck if I know.
>After a few moments' reflection, you stand up and move back into the seat beside Maud, now being given the death-stare by Limestone.
"As I was saying Anon, there should be a large deposit of erbium directly to the west of the winter pass through the Colthoofian Mountains, one that should not take long to reach by digging. However, there may also be more deposits to the north of our primary destination. These will have to be walked to on hoof."
>You lean back, nodding as you visualize the plan.
>"Sounds pretty decent to me. Any idea on how we're going to get a load like that back to the train, though?"
"According to my calculations, twenty ponies should be the amount required to pull a weight equivalent to what we will be excavating over snowy ground. That is why we have a twenty-pony crew."
>You give this a bit of consideration, trying to get around how minimalistic she's being here.
>"Any reason you only brought along twenty ponies?"
>Limestone grunts at this, and interrupts before Maud can answer the question.
>"We've hit a dry spell at the rock farm. This erbium is our best shot at making it through the rest of winter, since they're always looking for the stuff in Canterlot."
>You can see her blushing just slightly, not willing to reveal that they simply couldn't afford a bigger crew. Perhaps that was why she was so disgruntled earlier.
>"Oh, yeah. That brings up the issue of my pay."
>They all look at you incredulously (Maud simply doing her best at this point), and you're pretty sure you can even see a few tears in Marble's eyes.
>"I'm in the market for some granite blocks for a new house I'm building in the foothills, and I hear your farm has some of the best in the country. I'd settle for whatever you can spare."
>Your smile can't help but grow a bit as you see the relieved looks on their faces.
