“Where am I…”
“ It’s Cold…”
“Was... the sky always so grey?”
(1/5)
“I’ve… Fallen.”
“They have me, I - I failed…”
(2/5)
“It can’t be over. We’ve gotten to far”
“I-I can’t move dammit!”
“...no”
(3/5)
“ I have… to… stay…”
“So tired…”
You feel your memories begin to fade, and all that you are is falling away. Darkness swallows your mind.
(4/5)
You hear a voice in the darkness.
“You must remember…”
“Hold on to yourself, don’t let Him take it away”
“Remember it.”
“Show me that you remember, tell me your name.”
>[Enter Name]
>>25833894
Johnathan W. Periwinkleton
>>25833894
Blank Slate.
>>25833894
My name....IS FRISK!
>>25833894
>human
The name is "Dropped"
>>25833894
Rock Salt
>>25833972
Your name clearly is "FUG HUMANZ AMIRITE, DO I FIT IN NAO? XXXD"
>>25833954
Blank Slate vote.
>>25834017
Would be a good name for a pony, but not a human.
Black Slate...
Good, keep that close.
I can not do much to help you but with the small strength I have, I will release His grip on you.
Now awake, begin your journey. I will watch over you where I can.
>>25834076
>Black Slate...
You open your eyes. It’s very dark, making it hard to make anything out. You seem to be in a small square room. As your eyes adjust to the dark you begin to make out a couple things. There seems to be a large black window, you can’t see anything through it. Beside the window is a metal door of some kind. The door doesn't seem to have a handle or switch to open it up. There is a message on door, you can’t read it from here.Blank* sorry
>>25834102
Then go up to it you dummy.
>>25834102
Will there always be a prompt for us to post suggestions like
>[Enter Name]
?
Otherwise it will be a bit confusing if you stick to multiple posts per update.
Apart from that: Check between your legs. Are you a boy or a girl?
>>25834102
>making us spend a prompt on walking up to a message on a door two feet away
C'mon, CritiqueAnon, I expected better from you.
>>25834102
Wewlad I wonder what message on the door I'm going to read.
>>25834102
knock on the window
>>25834138
>>25834133
>>25834117
Suddenly realize that you cannot read.
>>25834102
Read the message then.
>>25834102
Ignore the plate, check the cracked loose wall panel on the bottom right.
>>25834131
I plan on using a prompt if I have something specific I want to be answered. If no prompt is there it basically means [Enter next Action]
>>25834215
Noted.
>>25834102
Tap on the window
Ask if they will let you out.
>>25834102
Knock on the window and ask if there's anybody there.
Read the note.
>>25834131
Before you decide to do anything productive, you slip a peak between your legs. For what reason, you are not sure. Male, definitely male.
>>25834138
>>25834117
You move closer to the message.
Hopefully being conscious wont be too much of a problem. You look around and see that there is no one else in the room. At least that one is done correctly.
>>25834140
You give the dark window a good knock. At first you hear nothing from the other side, but as some time passes you hear some muffling. It's definitely something speaking but you can't make anything out.
>>25834461
Give window a hard buck
>>25834461
>then
Oh shit, check if we're classified Euclid or Keter.
>>25834461
>simulation
>>25834461
Call out, ask them what's going on. Tell them that you think something went wrong with the simulation. We're definitely conscious right now.
>Subject is not conscious!
Kind of interesting how it doesn't say "Subject should not be conscious," or something like that.
It's like they're stating that we're not conscious, which seems like a rather strange thing to do. I mean, if we were unconscious, it should be readily apparent.
Do they think we're a philosophical zombie or something?
Or perhaps, while in the simulation, the subject will move around and talk, just like if they were sleep walking.
>>25834513
You give the window a buck with one of your back legs. You hear the muffles again.
>>25834666
You begin to ask what is going on. You're not sure if anyone can hear you from the other side but you continue on, asking why you currently conscious.
You then ask if they are able to hear you, then open the door to the side.
>>25834770
Investigate this panel in the wall. Try to pull it out if you can.
>>25834770
Become scared of doorways.
>>25834861
You mean rectangles?
>>25834881
All rectangles are doors.
>>25834895
don't act retarded anon
>>25834905
I have a 100% success ratio with breaking puzzle quests with doors.
>>25834770
This is Break-Quest isn't it?
BREAK that door/window down!
>>25834928
Breaking puzzle quests *that have doors* or
Breaking puzzle quests *by using doors*?
>>25834964
Yes.
>>25835008
Good to know.
You take notice of a panel that seems to be sticking out of the wall. Maybe you can pull it out?
You give it a nudge, nothing. You push it with much more force a second time, again it doesn't budge at all. You look at it at a few different angles. It's protruding out of the wall, not by much, but it's definitely sticking out. You try and attempt to pull it out instead of push, but there isn't quite enough to get a good grip.
You hear a muffled crash behind the window.
>>25835076
Tap on the window three times.
>>25835076
See if you can wedge the edge of your hoof into the corner and work it's way back.
>>25835076
Fuck those fags, hurry up and get it loose
>>25835076
Is the message written on a sticker or a plate? If the latter, try to pry it off the door to use it a s a lever on the wall panel.
>>25835076
In before there's someone else behind the glass that's also trapped and will die unless we get to them in time.But we wont because we are shit
>>25835096
>>25835099
You decide that you must try harder. No one got anywhere by just giving up. This room seem to not have much else going on at the moment. And this looks like the best ticket out, so again, you eyes meet with the panel. This time it's coming off.
Bracing yourself against the wall and getting the best grip you can, you pull with all your force. Again, nothing at first but as you continue you can feel it start to shift. This might just be working.
Before you can get it any farther you sit down for a moment to get a little energy back.
Before you can get up to continue a piercing sound enters your ears. It's a loud high pitch screech. After a bit the screeching settles down, you begin to hear a voice.
>"Sorry, sorry... that was loud I know."
It's female.
>"Things are little shaken up in here, haha. I'm not sure what just happened, earth quake? Yeah, that was probably what happened...But I have found the mic and got it hooked up."
>"I can see you by the way...Hi. Ha, sorry you probably confused and such. Don't worry I can assure you are safe. And I'm sorry that your simulation session has been ruined, I am um, sure we can refund or something...you did pay for this right?"
>"Hello? I can hear you, so feel free to um, speak... I guess."
>>25835536
Where am I? And what was that ruckus a second ago?
>>25835536
>>25835607
>"Where are you, haha? Y-you don't know where you are? You're the one who set this up right?
>"Well everything got kinda shaken up from the earthquake, I was um, moving stuff around to find the mic. The whole place seems to be on lock down, never seen this to be honest..."
>>25835773
WELL NEITHER HAVE I
HELL I HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THIS
>>25835773
If I did set this up I have absolutely no memory of it. I mean nothing. I have no memory. So anyway, can you open that door please?
>>25835773
Can you let me out?
>>25835798
>>25835806
>>25835815
"I have no idea where I am, I don't actually know anything... Or remember rather. But I pretty sure I didn't set this up.
It's a little small in here though, do you think you could open up the door here"
>"...But that doesn't make any sense...."
"Look, whoever you are, I don't care that it doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense right now. But I'm in a dark room and I would like to get out, thank you."
>"...um, yes yes. alright give me a sec. Alright here we go. that should do it."
The door stays in place.
"It still looks very closed."
>"It issss... I um, don't really know why, this should open in up. It's fine though, I'll just do a manual open, then we can figure out what is going on..."
You hear some moment and can tell she has moved away from the mic. Hopefully she can get the damned door open. Your ears perk up as sounds begin to come from the other end of the door.
>>25836098
Wish really hard that the door opens.
>>25836098
Keep pulling on the wall while you wait.
I have to call it a night here, but a few things first.
To be honest with myself this was rather shaky, and not quite what I anticipated. I think it's gonna take a bit of time to get my footing on how do go about it.
I'll start to get a feel for it soon, just a bit stilted at the moment. Thanks for taking part though. I can continue tomorrow morning, so if the thread is alive, I'll keep going.
>>25836154
sleep tight, sleepybreak
>>25836154
'Night OP.
If you think things aren't moving forward in the direction or pacing that you'd like, then you could try adding more overt prompts.
Players can only react to things that happen, and so far nothing has really happened for us to react to. Remember: you control everything in this world other than the main character. You don't have to wait for us do to something in order to move things forward.
If escaping this room is some sort of puzzle with a single specific solution, then you might need to draw a little more attention towards that solution in order to help us players along. We're not that smart, and we're probably going to need a bunch of clues for any puzzle you give us.
Your art and writing are both good, so I wouldn't worry about that. This quest definitely has potential and I'm already intrigued about the mysteries surrounding our situation.
The only thing you need to work on is better prompts. If the players don't know what to do, and everything they try ends in failure, then you need to present them with some legitimate options to stop them from floundering in the dark.
Making strong prompts is something that I think many talented writers and artists struggle with when the first transition into CYOA's, so you're definitely not alone in that regard.
Perhaps you can ask /cyoag/ for some advice, but if you do then be prepared for some worthless shitposting and meming.
And seriously, don't give up or feel bad. There's literally nothing wrong with what you've done so far, and your art and writing are both good. Too many good QM's are self loathing for no reason. If you were shit then I'd tell you so without any sympathy; this isn't a hugbox.
Let's see what happens
I just have a few things to take care of, but I should be able to start again in about an hour or two.
>>25836712
Thanks, I'll keep all that in mind.
>>25836712
>there is literally nothing wrong
y-you've opened the memegates...
Nothing seems to happen for a bit of time. And you begin to wonder if she has left. Your eyes wonder back to the loose plate, you sigh as that may become the only way out once again.
Suddenly the door swooshes open...
You blink a couple of times, you can see there is a small light coming from farther down through the door. Then the mare pops out her head.
>"H-hello, I got it open, see?"
"Took long enough–"
As your eyes connect you feel something strange flow over you. This mare gives you a small and warm sense of familiarity. Like somehow, in some tiny way you are connected. You might have known this mare, but you don't know for sure. She doesn't seem to know who you are.
You focus yourself again and notice she seems a bit dazed as well.
>"Uuuh, let's go into my room, or the control room rather. There is a bit of light there...And then we can talk and see what's going on. I know there are some risks with simulation but I don't think memory loss was one."
The mare turns around and heads back into the door.
>[Next Command]I’m going to establish more of a structure to this quest in terms of prompt.
There will be three main actions you can take when I pass it to you.
[Act]
This is pretty much any action you want to take, such as pick up things, attacking, running away and such.
[Talk]
This is used when you wish to speak with someone specify who when needed.
[Observe]
Used to take a closer look at things.
>>25840355
>let's go into my room
Oh shit son, she's forward
Talk to her, find out out about her, her name and whatnot
>>25840355
Let's follow her to the control room and see what she has to say.
>>25840355
>let's go into my room
My my, and we've only just met.
>>25840355
Ask for her name, if she can remember it.
>>25840355
[Observe] her flank.
>>25840355
[Act]
Follow her.
[Talk]
Ask if there is any way to reverse the brain damage the simulation gave us, because we've got a wicked case of amnesia right now.
>>25840355
[Talk to the mare] What's your name?
>>25840374
>>25840406
>>25840491
>>25840495
You walk through the passage, and are meet with a small incline. You enter the room, and look to your right.
The mare seems to already be shuffling through stuff under her desk.
“Hey so what exactly do you do here, if I knew before, I don’t now. Maybe it will jog my memory a bit?”
The mare makes a sudden movement causing her to bump her head.
>“Ow… Oh sorry, yes. How very rude of me, haha.”
She pulls her head out from under the desk.
>“I’m Olive, and I um, am the top world and story creator… for the simulation thing. That’s what I was going to do with you, but before I could start, the earthquake happened. I am afraid that may have caused something to go wrong. Possibly the cause of your memory loss.
She then begins to search under the desk once again.
>”I know I had the manual in here somewhere…”
>>25840477
You take a closer of that plot of hers. Since you don’t have any memory to pull from you can’t say how fine it is compared to others. But It looks pretty damn fine.
>>25840540
Start looking around the control room
>>25840556
Other side of the room.
>[next Command]
>>25840540
>>25840564
Look at the computer
Maybe some of it isn't gibberish
>>25840540
[Talk]
What is the purpose of this simulation? Am I on vacation, or is this a compulsory dopple?
>>25840540
>>25840564
So theoretically, I could still be under and you're creating a story about where I have no memory and there was an earthquake.
>>25840564
open that cupboard.
>>25840573
Ooh, is this going to get all philosophical and shit? Awesome! We should demand that she prove we are not hallucinating, asleep, or in some sort of Matrix-style Descartes delusion.
>>25840702
How would someone in the matrix prove that they're not in the matrix? Can't solve solipsism mate. What we can do is get her up from under the desk and random kiss her and see if she reacts like a normal mare to a stranger kissing her. If the simulation isn't designed well enough it might not know how to react to a random action like that.
>>25840727
I initially forgot about the matrix and thought this would be some inception shit.
>>25840569
"What exactly are these simulations for? Are they for entertainment”
>“Pretty sure yea, they are supposed to be pretty expensive. That’s what I’m told at least. Ah! is this it! ahh nope. Sorry I’ve kinda lost the manual.”
“How good are these simulations, what if... this is one.”
>”Haha, I would never make a simulation story this boring, my life has been a crawl for the past few years.”
She sighs and plops fully on the floor.
> “This is the most exciting to happen in a while, I can’t remember the last time I talked to someone other than the bowl heads, and they don’t even talk.”
As she continues to search you head over to the computer screen. Looks like it was her last couple of actions she did.
>[Next Command]
>>25840746
I never watched inception so I can't really comment.
>>25840750
>delete C:\
>>25840750
>Pretty sure yea, they are supposed to be pretty expensive. That’s what I’m told at least.
You're not instilling much confidence in me.
>>25840750
Ask her how she's been surviving alone
Also ask her how she got there
>>25840750
I'm voting for the kiss and then an explanation as to why after she reacts.
Going to eat some lunch, gonna be back a bit later.
>>25840750
Bowl heads?
>>25840727
>>25840789
She moves out from underneath the desk. And places a large book on the surface of the desk. With her magic she begins to flip through the pages.
>"Hopefully there is something in here, Otherwise I really don't know why you have no memory..."
The nagging feeling that this could all be a fake simulation still lingers in your head. She said it wasn't but that means nothing, she could simply be part of the simulation. You look at her closely as she flips through the many pages of the book she has brought out. Many ideas flash through your head to possibly confirm or deny the fact that you're in a simulation.
Before you can really even think about what you plan to do, you set yourself in motion. Whether it was the fact you been holding in panic from this odd situation you've found yourself in. Or the fact you couldn't remember who you were. Whatever the reason was your brain chose an idea and decided it was the best course of action and the promptly shut off.
>"Damn, damn... not looking like there is anything in here, the only thing I could find was possible headaches.."
She turns to face you, to her surprise you are just a few inches from her face. Before she can do anything to react your lips swiftly meet hers.
For a small moment nothing happens and the two of you stand in static, heads locked close to each other...
A blink later you find yourself on the ground held down by magic.
>"W-what the fuck was that?"
You can't see her but you can hear you spitting into the air.
>"Uhg, why, why would you do that?!"
"I-I had to find out if I was in a simulation–"
>"By kissing me?! What, how...how would that...
"I don't know....I thought like a simulation would act differently... from, like real life.
>"Alright?? ...So now what, do you know now. Do you know if you're in a simulation?!"
She begins to spit into the air some more.
“Um, not really.”
> “By the gods, did you develop some brain damage or something”
Suddenly the magic keeping you on the floor fades away. She speaks again, in a calmer manner.
> “Oh no, have you actually suffered brain damage, Oh nooo...um, how many hooves am I holding up.”
“One…” You say as you get up and steady yourself.
>“You’re not even looking...That’s right though. Oh this test is rather dumb…”
“Look I’m sorry that was stupid of me, I’m just kinda stressed out I guess.”
> “That’s still not a reason to kiss me, look I’ve wondered the same thing before. And I can tell you, we are not in a simulation. Come over here and look at the room you were in. Do you see the floor, it’s designed to move in all directions. This is to keep the client in the middle of the room, they would run into a wall otherwise. The floor has a limit of how fast it can move. So if the client moves to fast, they will hit a wall. This is why all the stories I make take place in older times, before very fast travel. They would hit the wall if we tried to simulate such things.”
“But what-”
>”Do you want to be on the floor again?”
>[Next Action]
>>25841983
Check if she's a simulation.
>>25841998
N-no
>>25833848
The sky is full of vaginas.
>>25841998
I'm sorry I went full retard. Any way I can make that up to you?
>>25841998
Not particularly
>>25842026
>>25842102
>>25842104
"No, I don't, sorry again. It was really dumb"
She sighs again sitting down on the chair.
> “Let's just forget about it for now, just… don’t do it again. Okay? The best course of action is to wait, I’m sure someone will come down and open the door.”
“It wont open?”
> “Nothing is working on the computer and well, I don’t know the code… I know that’s stupid it’s just I never needed it. But now with the computer being stupid it would’ve been nice”
Suddenly the ground begins to shake, you both stop moving as the earth rumbles back and forth.
“Another Earthquake-”
Before you can finish your sentence the room shakes aggressively with much more and force, both of you realize it quickly. Those were not earthquakes, they were explosions.That's all for now, thanks for stopping by. Not 100% sure when I will be able to do this next. Possibly on Wednesday, if not then it will definitely resume on Saturday.
One question before I head off, Do the quests automatically get added to anonpone/Pony Quests?
I'm not sure how that works.
>>25842417
amm needs to add you and he usually adds things he's interested in or have a dedicated following.
you get one little bump from me.
>>25842417
Amm is the gatekeeper. You must moisten his unholy butthole to get in.
>>25842417
Amm tends to update the archive in chunks, so Break Quest will likely be added alongside Spellthief, You Get To Name the CYOA and Delve.
It just a matter of time, 'cause this quest is obviously good enough.
