By Dr. Anon
Every Fag Down in 4chan Liked Waifus a lot...
But the Flash, Who lived two clicks from 4chan, Did NOT!
The Flash hated Waifus! The whole Waifu scheme!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows it seems.
It could be his ass wasn't screwed with just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his balls were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His dick or his bag,
He stood there as they fapped, hating the Fags,
Staring down at his screen with a frown, cross and bored,
At the warm lighted shitposts below on their board.
For he knew every Fag down in 4chan ahead,
Was busy now, posting a cherilee thread.
"And they're shipping their waifus!" he snarled with a swear,
"Anon comes tomorrow! He's practically there!"
Then he growled, with his Flash fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Anon from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Fag girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush to jack it!
And then! Oh, the shit! Oh, the Shit!
Shit! Shit! Shit!
That's one thing he hated! The SHIT!
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
Then the Fags, new and old, would sit down to a thread.
And they'd post! And they'd post! And they'd POST!
POST! POST! POST!
They would post on shitpost threads, and rare pepe pics.
Which was something the Flash wouldn't touch with a stick!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every fag down in 4chan, the old and the new,
Would stand close together, with aching balls numbing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Fags would start Cumming!
They'd cum! And they'd cum! And they'd CUM!
CUM! CUM! CUM!
>>25808193
>>25808202
>>25808207
Pretty good OP 7/10
And the more the Flash thought of those white semen strings,
The more the Flash thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop the Anons from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE Flash GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Flash laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Anonymous hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great clever trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like those dicks!"
"Now I need a porn thread..." The Flash looked around.
But, since porn threads are scarce, there were none to be found.
Did that stop the old Flash? No! The Flash simply said,
"If I can't find a porn post, I'll make one instead!"
So he found an old gif. Then he took some dick pics,
And he 'shopped some big cocks onto all of the chicks.
THEN He loaded some ram And some old empty discs,
On a ramshackle rig And he posted his thread.
Then the Flash said, "Refresh!" And the thread srolled forth,
Toward the threads where the fags Lay asnooze on their board.
All their screens were dark. Quiet snores filled the air.
All the Fags were all dreaming strange dreams about fjords.
When he came to the first little thread on the board.
"This is stop number one," the old Flash-ymous hissed,
And he Scrolled to the OP, empty discs in his fist.
Then he slid down the scroll bar. His rig nearly crashed.
But, if the faggots could do it, then so could the Flash.
He got stuck only once, for an hour or two.
Then he rolled past the last post about gassing the jews.
Where the Futashy greentext all stood in a row.
"This greentext," he grinned, "is the first thing to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile that grew,
Around the whole thread, and he took every Waifu!
Sunset! And Twilight! Pinkie Pie! Pip!
Rainbow Dash! Rarity! Big Mac! And Maud!
And he trapped them in drives. Then the feind wiped his cache,
Threw all the discs, one by one, in the trash!
Then he slunk to the porn thread. He took the Fags' porn!
He took the all the anthro! He took all the vore!
He cleaned out that lewdness as quick as a flash.
Why, that Bitch even took their last can of greentext!
Then he stuffed all the porn in the trash can with drive.
"And NOW!" grinned the Flash, "I will clean the archive!"
And the Flash grabbed the posts, and he started to hack,
When he heard a small sound like the moan of a yak.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Fag!
Little Nonny-New Fag, who still used a name tag.
The Flash had been caught by this tiny horse fucker,
Who'd got out of bed for some sexual succor.
She stared at the Flash and said, "'Nonymous, why,”
"Why are you taking our Waifu threads? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Flash was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little shit," the fake Shitposter lied,
"There's a fag on this tree that won't kek on one side."
"So I'm taking it down to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll repost it here."
And his fib fooled the faggot. Then he patted his head,
And he got his rocks off and he sent him to bed.
And when NonnyNew Fag went to bed to clean cup,
He went to the archive and fucked their shit up!
Then the last thing he took Was the last of the peetzer!
Then he went to the catalog, himself, the old cheater.
On their board he left nothing but bait and some memers.
And the one speck of porn That he left in the thread,
Was a link that would take you to a website long dead.
>What did you say, Little bitch?.
>I'm a fucking navy seal!
>I've raided all of iraq,
>With three hundred confirmed kills,
>Little bitch.
>I'm trained in gorilla warfare, and sniping to boot.
>You're a target, Little bitch.
>I will wipe you the fuck out.
>I'll use the tight precision.
>That you've never seen before, Little bitch.
>Mark my fucking words bitch.
>You're gonna fucking die!.
>You think you safe, Little bitch.
>Behind a monitor,
>Think again, you motherfucker! I'm tracing your IP
>Little bitch.
>I've got a secret network of spies located, uh,
>All over the world.
>Prepare your anus, little bitch.
>Your pathetic life is done.
>Your death will be noticed by none.
>I'm coming for your hide,
>Little bitch.
>I can kill you seven hundred,
>different ways, and take note:"
>With!
>My!
>Hands!
>I have contacts, little bitch.
>I can be anywhere.
>The entire US Marine corps has lended me their stuff,
>Little bitch.
>I will use the entire armory
>With the intention of wiping your miserable ass
>From the very fabric of reality, You'll be
>Mangled up in tangled up knots.
>You're a smartass, Little shit.
>You should have held your tongue,
>But you couldn't and didn't,
>And now you're gonna pay,
>Little Bitch!
>I'm coming to remove your dumb ass permanently
>with no remorse,
>Kiddo, you're fucking dead!
Then He did the same thing To the other fag's threads
Leaving links Much too old, to the other fag's dread!
It was quarter past dawn... All the fags, still a-bed,
All the Fags, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their Waifus! The subway! The shipping!
The vore! And the futa! The fatties! The whipping!
Three thousand posts up! Up the side of Mt. /trash/,
He rushed with his load to the admins to dump it!
"To hell to the fags!" he was gleefully humming.
"They're finding out now that nobody is cumming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Fags down in 4chan will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Flash, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Flash put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the board.
It started in bored. Then it started to soar.
But the sound wasn't mad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at 4chan! The Flash popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Fag down in 4chan, the old and the new,
Was cumming! Without any waifus at all!
He HADN'T stopped Anons from cumming! THEY CAME!
Somehow or other, they came just the same!
And the Flash, with his Flash-dick still soft like play dough,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out Waifus! It came without scat!"
"It came without shipping, futa or fat!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Flash thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Fapping," he thought, "doesn't come from some porn."
"Maybe Fapping...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...on 4chan they say,
That the Flash's small dick Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his dick felt oh so tight,
He blew his whole load in the bright morning light,
And he brought back the porn! And his discs of the cache!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Flash came inside Rainbow Dash!
THE END
>>25808280
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FAGGOTS!
That was beautiful, merry Christmas faggot
i'd like to read this but I can't be bothered
vocaroo when?
>>25808313
This
>>25808188
Should be called "How the Flash Stole Your Waifu" to be honest
>>25808313
>>25808321
Here's a vocaroo of the old version I wrote last year, if that's worth anything.
https://soundcloud.com/charger-the-pegasus/how-flash-sentry-stole-your-waifu-by-dr-anon
>>25808188
Dubs make this into a physical book pls
>>25808537
>>25808188
Merry Christmas you gigantic faggots. Love you all.
>>25808193
>that Grinch YTP
>>25808254
Don't care.
>>25808188
By Donald Trump
>>25809045
>>25809056
I luv that book.
EGGS
>>25809056
That is fucking awesome.
>>25809056
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fbi7jNI1yOQ
>>25808287
A Christmas tradition that should go on for years more. Thank you, OP was a glorious faggot this day.
>>25809045
>>25809056
Fuck don't tell me this is real.
>>25809045
>>25809056
Fukkin saved.
>>25809056
Is he dissing himself or is he just stupid?
>>25809045
>>25809056
11/10-entertaining, AND educaitonal.
We /pol/ now...
Cap this
/r/ing cap + narration from RD stole winter
>>25810686
I've done the song alongside the fic, both I couldn't sing very well, and the fic reading made me cringe. The song is the only decent part, so I'll just post that.
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DCiBiK1oJn
>>25810821
Holy hell this sounds good, but which reading were you looking at that made you cringe anon? I think there were a few.
>>25811579
Now, I DID the reading...My voice was very inconsistent with what narrator I was trying to go for, and I sang a variation of "Blue Christmas" from Elvis in it, instead it was "Blue Winter". The song was in the fic, but that's about all I can remember other than it was on Fimfiction. It might of had that picture of Dash (>>25810686) as a thumbnail or something.Y-you really think it sounds good, senpai Anon-kun?
>>25811727
I see, and yes. I liked it a lot!
Merry Chanmas everyone!
