>Remember that headcannon or whatever that Celestia gives you a house and a stip for life? All the ponies love you or whatever, and you spend your days laying around, playing hoofball with Dash, and having sex with whatever Pony you chose?
>The truth is so much harsher.
>When you came here, you were regarded as an "endangered species", true enough, and given a little bit of money on some type of Pony welfare program, along with a cheap shitty house, once a year passed all those luxuries ended when you got a letter from Celestia.
"Dear Anonymous:
It has come to my attention that you have resided within my kingdom for the period of one year(s), While I hope you have settled in and gotten accustomed to daily life with my little ponies, I feel it would be most enlightening if you were to get out there, and expand your horizons. As such I will be halting the collection of your monthly sum of bits,and request that you step out into the wide world and seek employment as an official citizen of Equestria. Good luck~<3
Sincerely,
Princess CelestiaSanchez
>Long story short? Get a job you bum.
>Of course you can ask your buddies in Ponyville for a job right?
>NO.
>There isn't any work for a non pony here, so that means you have to seek work out of town.
>At least that is what the ad at the town hall board said.
>"Strong worker wanted! Must be able to move large loads for several hours, with an appreciation for simple living! Live in job! Must be willing to change residences! See igneous at the Rock Pie farm for details."
>Rock Pie farm? Those are two words that you've never seen together before.
>Whatever.
1/
>>25761364
Lurkin
>>25761364
>Not bothering to tell your Pony friends about your departure, (because they didn't really care for the most part) you set off on a train the next morning for this "Rock Pie Farm" with high hopes, and hope for the future.
>What type of place could this Rock Pie farm be?
>A veritable paradise with plant life flowing out the earth?
>A flowing waterfall, with colorful butterflies fluttering about carelessly, and the gentle howls of simians and birdlife?
>You can't wait!>Pic related
>Your jaw nearly drops.
>What in the hell were you thinking when you saw "Rock pie farm" anyway?
>An aged Stallion stands by the gates to the farm, which is odd, as they have no fences or anything around the property, so it makes you wonder the purpose of such a structure.
>You take a deep breath putting your immense disappointment behind you, strolling towards the stallion.
>He eyes you from your feet to your face, as you approach, and stop in front of him.
"........."
>You pull the collar of your shirt a little nervously.
>Cool sideburns though.
"Can I help you son?"
>You stammer out you're here for the job, and show the ad to him.
>He takes it off your hands with his hoof, and looks the paper over.
"So Pinkie did post it. Good girl."
>You ask how he knows Pinkie Pie.
"She's my little girl. Why?"
>You nervously say you know her, and respect her.
>He cocks an eyebrow.
"On to the job...my last worker was a unicorn. She left some big horseshoes to fill, so I only take top notch work. Can you do magic?"
>You shake your head.
"Then what can you do?"
>You reply that you're a hard worker and a fast learner.
"....Fine. Wait here."
>He leaves you for the farmhouse in the distance taking his sweet time getting there.
2/
>>25761548
continue...
>>25761548
>After a few rounds of foot taps like Sanic, and some looking around-
>Like there's shit to see in this gray, depressing atmosphere until he comes back with a packet in his mouth.
>He shoves it into your hands with a quill.
"We may be a simple folk son, but I do prefer to keep my paperwork organized. We're going to do this professionally, and then put you to work. Fill this out right here."
>You look at the paper, and furrow your brow, looking from it to the stallion.
>Is he serious?
Name:
Age:
Strength - 3 +
Perception -3 +
Endurance - 3 +
Charisma - 3 +
Intelligence - 3 +
Agility - 3+
Luck - 3 +
You have 21 points available
All points into strength.
>>25761630
I can't math...
>>25761630
Name: ronnie "the boss" crunch
age :22
str 8
per 6
end 8
cha 6
int 4
agi 5
luck 5
>>25761630
How about 7 into strength, 5 into endurance, 5 into charisma cause we need to fug them Pies and share the remaining points into the rest
And as for name
Just call him anon and let him be 22 or some shit
>>25761630
Name: Anonny Moose
Age: 12 (But mature for his age)or 24 could work
Strength- 8
Perception- 5
Endurance- 8
Charisma- 5
Intelligence- 7
Agility- 6
>>25761732
shit. forgot luck, just keep it at 3 I guess
>>25761630
Name: Nicolas Cage (or just Nick if you don't wanna be fun...)
age: 28
Strength: 7
Perception: 4
Endurance: 7
Charisma:7
Intelligence: 6
Agility: 5
Luck: 5
>>25761630
Name:Anon the 'fuck it, I'll make my own rock farm with blackjack and hookers' aka 'fuck this shit I'm off to Las Pegasus'
Age: Unknown
Strength - 1 +
Perception -1 +
Endurance - 1 +
Charisma - 1 +
Intelligence - 1 +
Agility - 1+
Luck - 36 +
>>25761766
Winrar
Shit no dubs. Okay. Person to get an odd numbered post first.
One thing I want to make clear is ALL MEMBERS OF THE PIE FAMILY CAN BE ROMANCED.
>>25761766
Muh vote.
>>25761779
>36 luck
Please for the love of God we need to go with this
>>25761788
Im the guy that forgot luck, pick mine.
>>25761630
Fuck what that faggot >>25761654 said.
S:10
P:4
E:7
C:5
I:4
A:6
L:6capcha: Pancakes
>>25761766
Oh! Well fuck me.
>>25761788
Dude, someone already got dubs.
>>25761766
>>25761766
Fuck yes, Nicolas Cage!
>>25761766
I fucking hate you...
>>25761872
All I can read is "Salty" on your post, son.
Op plz hurry
So...I'm eager for Marble's pussy. Anyone else?
>>25762005
>marble
>Not having angry sex with Limestone
What are you, some kind of faggot?
>>25761630
>>25761766
>You make a few random gestures with your hands, and shake a little, and give him your name.
"Nicholas Cage eh? Sounds over the top."
>You smile, and say you get that a lot, before asking him if he has a bee problem.
"I don't think so..? This way lad. Follow me, and bring your application. I'll show you where you'll be staying.
>He begins trotting to the farm house with you shadowing him.
>You ask if this is it. He's not going to interview you? What about other applicants?
"You're all that's here boy! Did you see a line of ponies wanting to apply?"
>Hope it's not like that one movie..the Wicker-something...
>You enter the run down, dull colored farmhouse and, look around.
>Various family photos are positioned around the room, accompanied by the smell of..What is that smell?
"This is the main house, where you'll take all your meals lad, six. If you're late, you don't eat. Understand?"
>You nod.
"Good. Now to show you your quarters."
>You both head back outside past a large rock that catches your eye.
>You ask the stallion what this rock is.
"That's Holder's boulder son. It'd be best if you didn't touch it."
>Okay...weird.
>You shrug, and continue on to a small shanty out back, that looks like it could use some work.
>You'll be staying in there.
>That crap hole?! Your current house is bad, but holy shit, this looks like something out of Fallout!
>The door opens to your new home, and out comes a gray mare with spiky white hair, and a look that says she's about to go super saiyan at any point.
"Daaaad. I killed all the Rock Rodents...I think. It should be safe for him to sleep in."
>She trots towards the two of you, giving you the once over like her father did earlier.
"I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself, but I'm sure you figured out who I am already."
>S-sure you did...
"I'm Igneous Rock Pie. This is one of my daughters."
>She frowns at you.
"What are you supposed to be? Some type of shaved Diamond dog?"
>Holy shit, she's rude!
>>25762025
No, but I can be a real dog at times.
>>25762025
what are you supposed to be?A faggot?
>>25762030
That'll require a charisma roll
>>25762025
Just say "no, I'm not a diamond dog" she probably doesn't care what you are if you tried to tell her.
>>25762049
Lets do it. Igneous won't be happy though, even if we do pull it off.
>>25762025
"No, I'm Nicolas Cage. Did you say rock rodents? Cause if they're rock rodents, then there better not be rock bees.Bees are fucking shit."
>>25762057
Voting this
>>25762025
Do a Nicolas Cage laugh at her joke to intimidate her
>>25762057
Voting for this
>>25762057
this desu senpai
>>25762049
Do dubs decide? Cause if they do, I vote this: >>25762104
>>25761630
Put everything into Luck. You don't need anything else. After all, with that much luck it's impossible to lose right? Right?
>>25762171
You're a bit behind the curb.
>>25762182
Damn right I am. I just felt compelled 5o say it though.
Would people read a CYOA where the character has maxed out luck?
>>25762057
This please
>>25762212
seems fun.
>>25762025
OP HURRY PLEASE. THE LONGER WE WAIT THE SHORTER MY TIME IS.No pressure.
>>25762057
>>25762025
>You reply with a stoney "No", that makes her glare at you.
>Igneous grins however.Igneous approves
"This is Limestone. I have two other daughters you'll meet soon enough, but for now get yourself comfortable, and be at the house for supper in forty five."
>Limestone is still boring holes into you, as Igneous bumps her again signalling the angry mare to follow.
>She makes a gesture that she has her eyes on you, and follows her father back to the house.
>You sigh shaking your head, and head into the shack, looking around.
>Small stones with red puddles under them, lay in random spots around the home.
>"Rock Rodents" you think.
>The cunt didn't even have the decency to clean up their filthy corpses!
>That Limestone is gonna be a shit to deal with.
>You close the door and begin exploring the one room hovel.
>Not bad.
>A little repair here, and there, and this place will go from a craphole to a pile of shit.
>You wonder who was the pony from before.
>Maybe you can write home and have your things sent here?
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
>Your first visitor!
>You head to the door, and swing it open.
>Annnnnd no one's there.
>All that's there is an empty trashbag, and a pony running off in the distance back towards the house.
>Who the hell was that?
>Is this bag for the rodents?
>Wait, you have to pick them up by hand?!
>What if they have diseases?!
>You dry heave a little.
-Forty minutes later, and one disgusting rock rodent cleaning montage later-
1/
>>25762315
Maud's gonna get the beast outta Cage if she keeps acting like that...
>>25762315
you could have just put the BAG over your hand to pick them up. Like how you pick up dog shit.
>>25762352
Well considering she ran off. was probably marble. So she is the one who will face Nicholas"Endless rage" cage.
>>25762315
>Bag full of lumpy little rock mouse piles in hand you head to the farm house hoping they have running water.
>You see another mare in a dress with a sash around her waist standing by a water pump.
>Perfect! Just what you need.
>You drop the bag by your door and head to the water pump and the mare hoping to wash all the blood and horse poo off your fingers and nails.
>Guess the Rodents scared Limestone more than she let on.
>The mare is pumping water into a bucket, by the time you get there.
>You clear your throat, and ask if you can get in there next.
>The mare looks at you with a vacant expression, and then back to her bucket.
"How will you get inside a water pump?"
>You say you don't mean literally.
".......Okay."'
>She finishes pumping water, and picks up a small pebble in her hoof, tossing it into the bucket.
>You ask what she's doing.
"Boulder is washing up before dinner. We're having stew. We always have stew."
>Okay...?
>She looks at you once more.
"Who are you?"
KA-CLUNK.
>You look to the sound, and see a pony hiding around the corner of the house, next to a broom on the dusty ground.
>She looks panicked.
"Marble. There's some creature here."
"M-Mhm.."
>Maybe you should formally introduce yourself mister cage.
Last one for tonight
>>25762510
I'm a worker your dad hired. Are you two his other daughters?
>>25762602
this
>>25762602
This. Also ask about Boulder.
>>25762510
Do what the actual nicholas cage would do. Throw your hands in the air and yell for no reason.
>>25762510
Were we supposed to have the broom before we picked up the dead things by hand?
Bumping
>>25762602
this
>>25762731
but this
Drawl the words while half smirking like you stroked out
https://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=pjLoy5RNk8A
>>25761364
bump
>>25761364
bump
Thank you for the bumps
>>25764152
Y-you too.
>>25762510
>>25762602
>>25762657
>>25762661
>You curtly inform the mare that you're a worker her father hired, and ask if they're his other daughters.
>The mare with the bucket blinks slowly looking to you.
"Yes. I'm Maud pie, and this is Marble."
>Marble retreats further behind the corner, not taking her gaze off you.
>You smile, and give a little wave, getting a small grin from her in return.
>It's a start.
>Maud swishes the bucket around a few times.
>You ask who Boulder is.
"Boulder is this hunk of burning love."
>She takes the pebble out of the bucket, and shows it to you.
>That would have been so funny if it wasn't said in such a monotone manner.
>This one isn't right in the head.
"You can use the water pump now if you want..You look like you need it."
>Maud puts boulder on her dress, and slowly heads around the house back to the front.
>Marble is still staring at you though.
>You scratch the back of your head, and ask if she wanted to use the pump.
>She shivers.
>Really don't got time for this shit.
>The bubonic plague may be forming on your fingers even as we speak!
>You shrug, and go over to the water pump, and start pumping.
>Maud made this look easy!
>The fucking thing is rusty, and hard to move, as you flex those "muscles" of yours, and start pumping.Strength check passed
>A sweat begins to build up on your head as you pump harder, and harder.
>Grunts that could be taken the wrong way emanate from your mouth as you pump harder, and harder until the Water Pump explodes outward.
>You throw your face into the air like >pic related, and roar.
>Marble looks on with curious eyes, and rosy cheeks.
>Perverted horse
1/
>>25764308
>You hurriedly put your dirty mitts under the water, feeling strangely accomplished.
"Marble! What are you doing?! It's time to eat!"
>That voice. Oh boy.
>Marble backs away from the corner keeping her head down, and eyes averted, as Limestone arrives on the scene from the unseen corner.
"Mom says to bring your rump in for supper. What were you out here doing out here?"
>Marble looks to you briefly, and back to the ground.
"You were spying on this guy huh? Is he acting shady?"
>Limestone glares at you, while you continue washing your hands.
>You choose to ignore the angry mare.
>Just get inside and eat.
>You feel something tap your thigh, and look to see the angry mare herself.
"Listen here bucko, I don't like you, or trust you. I saw you trying to put the moves on big sister Maud earlier! This is a job you creep, not some place you can break in all the mares!"
>You roll your eyes.
>Is she for real right now?
>You grunt, and thank her for leaving the carcasses for you to clean up.
>She snickers.
"You mad?"
>Not a bit. Just mildly disgusted.
"Well then shut up! No reason to comment if you're not mad right? You should eat them. Our food is too good for some mutated Featherless Griffin like you!"
>Limestone is really getting on your nerves.
>You don't even know her, and she's going in on you like this!
>The water stops, and your hands are finally clean(ish) for the most part.
>You shake the excess off, and head in only to be blocked by Limestone.
"Tell me the truth. Why are you REALLY here? You're just here to pick up mares right?!"
>>25764346
Sorry. Made an error. Didn't mean to put the double "out here". Still trying to wake up
>>25764346
"Well, I wasn't, until I laid eyes on you." But really mocking and sarcastic like. However, Limestone takes aggression as affection...
>>25764367
"I wasn't here to fuck mares, and date them until I met you."
That's what you're suggesting we say to Limestone.
>>25764426
No, he's had enough of Lime's shit and decides to give her some snark, complete with deadpan voice and eye rolling. She takes it serious, though.
>>25764346
We're here to make crop circles to inform our brothers back in space when and where to attack.
>>25764545
What a sarcastic douchebag! I love it. What if she takes us literally though? Also we should make a ghost rider reference
>>25764690
>Strange how that is the first place your mind goes, Limestone
>Is there something you're not telling me?
>That's alright, you don't have to say it
>Those eyes of yours are...
>Guilty
>>25764346
>>25764545
>>25764435
>>25764367Charisma check passed
>You tell her you wasn't, until you laid eyes on her.
>Limestone's eyes go wide.
>You then go on to say that your brothers in outerspace bestowed a mission upon you to create crop circles, so they would know a proper place to attack.
>Her face goes back to normal, and twists into an angry smirk.Limestone approvesMarble disapproves
"You jerk..you had me going for a second there! Hey Marble this loser isn't so--"
>The spot Marble once was is now only occupied by a wet spot.
>Maybe you were a bit too convincing...
>Limestone snorts, and begins trotting back to the house stopping before turning the corner.
"Are you coming or what loser?"
>You perk up, and jog after her, feeling a little bit more hopeful-
>You come around the corner, and fall flat on your face into a pile of mud.
>The culprit stands above you with an angry smile, and an outstretched hoof.
"Now we're even creep. Don't mess with the Limestone Pie!"
>She kicks some dirt onto your face, before trotting off.
"Better wash up before dinner freak!"
>You take it back. You take it allll back. She's a total bitch!
>One rewashing later, and you finally entered the farmhouse.
>That odd smell from before greets your nostrils, as you stand in the main room, not sure where to go.
"Boy! Is that you?"
>Igneous calls out to you from a room to the right.
>Being the adventurous soul you are, you head on through following the sound into a dining room, where all the ponies you met so far reside plus one more.
>She sits next to Igneous with a warm smile, and caring eyes.
>You bow to her respectfully.>You'd tip your fedora if you had one,
"Ah! Anonymous boy. This be the missus. Cloudy Quartz."
>She bows back to you.
"It's a pleasure to meet the new farmhoof."
>Farmhoof...OH. Like a farmhand, but with hooves..
>You say you're honored to have been chosen.
1/
>>25764855
"Betcha won't be saying that tomorrow when you're hitting the mines Doggy boy."
>You shoot a look at Limestone, who's making a sinister grin back at you.
>Marble is looking away, and Maud is...well it's fucking Maud.
>What do you expect her to do?
>That smell isn't any better by the way.
>A large pot with a rock in it is in the middle of the table, bubbles away.
>You ask what's for dinner.
"Rock stew. It's always Rock stew."
>Maud blinks slowly at you.
>Rock stew huh? It'll be like that book you read when you were a kid.
>You rub your hands together eagerly, and proclaim you can't wait to try Mrs.Quartz's delicious cooking.
>She blushes, and waves a hoof at you.
>Limestone glares evilly.
"We'll see in a moment won't we?"
>Igneous takes the lid off, and begins pouring the green broth into bowls, and passing them around the table.
>After the Pie daughters received their helpings, you got yours.
>With a big ass stone in the middle.
>It looks so unattractive..
"Well? Dig in lad! You have a busy day ahead of you tomorrow!"
>Igneous smiles at you, before biting off a chunk of rock.
>HE BIT OFF A CHUNK OF ROCK. HOLY SHIT.
>You look down at your bowl, and pick up the spoon.
>A quick look around the table shows everyone is already getting to work. Even the bowl by boulder is mysteriously empty.
>Isn't that cannibalism?
>Or is it like drinking human bath water?
>Cloudy is staring at you with hopeful eyes.
>She's adorable.
>You dip your spoon into the murky soup, and bring it to your lips, sipping on it-
>OH GOD.
>It's like someone farted into a pot, and poured water over it to mix the flavors together. Then soaked their feet in it.
"How is it?"
>All eyes are on you.
>>25765016
The flavor is stronger than we expected. Rocks are technically edible, they're just really hard to digest.
>>25765016
It's like nothing you've ever had before.
>>25765016
Honesty is the best policy. Don't be a dick about it, but just say it wasn't for you.
>>25765093
It had better be for us because we're not eating shit else
>Hurting Cloudy's feelings
This CYOA is gonna go so well
>>25765093
>"Rock stew. It's always Rock stew."
>>25765121
Feelings get hurt sometimes, better than lying to her face.
>>25765099
Aww, why couldn't we tease Limestone some more.
>>25765175
But it's cloudy! Can't we tell a little white lie?
Perception and charisma check required here
>>25765666
Well you rolled criticals on a 3d4 roll desu. Shouldn't need too much more.
>>25765093
Just say
"This is the first time I tried Rock Stew and the flavour is really different from the city. Taste remind me of this land"
Or something like that
>>25765666hail satan
It's an interesting flavor, to be sure
>>25765047
>>25765053
>>25765093
>>25765666
>>25765175Charisma and perception check passed!
>You comment that the flavor is stronger than you initially expected, and something you've never had before.
>You can detect savory ingredients in the stew such as leeks, and garlic, but think they they fight with one another for predominant flavor.
>Some edible mushrooms were spotted a bit down the path from the farm that would balance out the taste, and escalate the soup to an even higher plane of taste. Moreso, than it already is at.
>Limestone rolls her eyes.
>Next you say that while edible, rocks are a bit harder to digest for you. All in all it's not really your thing, but she did a good job.Igneous disapproves
Marble approves
Cloudy Greatly approves
Maud greatly approves
Limestone Greatly disapproves
>Maud blinks a few times.
"You speak really well. Where did you go to school?"
>You chuckle, blushing a bit, saying it was back home where you attended college.
"Are there rocks?"
>You say plenty.
>Maud smiles for the first time.
>Marble is hiding behind her massive mane, but you can tell she's smiling also.
>Limestone guzzles down the soup, and slams the bowl on the table.
"Don't tell me you two are falling for this fool's words! We've been eating this since we were fillies, and it made us tough! It isn't supposed to have flavor!"
>Limestone flexes a foreleg, and it comically bulks up with an anchor tat appearing on it.
"Check theses gains freak. Maybe after a few days of working on the farm you'll get something moderately close to this!"
>Cloudy is still staring at you with a happy expression.
>Igneous...not so much.
"Well boy, that be all you're going to eat while you're here, so best to expand your palette."
>You frown a little.
>Hopefully, you didn't make too bad of an impression.
>Dinner is quiet for the most part, but you're a little anxious about what the others are thinking.
1/
>>25766021
>Once supper time ends, you head back to your shack, and the Pies to their own business.
>God this shack needs work.
>All that's in it is a lone oil lamp, and a mattress on the floor.
>Do they have a town around here? Maybe you can gather some materials, and do things up Minecraft style!
>God. Never thought we'd make a minecraft reference in this story.
>As you lay back on the mattress, you begin to think about a few things, like how much are you going to get paid?
>What type of work do they do at a rock farm? Do they sell building materials?
>Well, they eat the rocks as well, so who can honestly say?
>Maybe they have Rock lobster sealife here? That'd be some good eating!
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
>You're so popular today!
>With a grunt, you get up and answer the door.
>It's Cloudy Quartz, who has a few planks of wood, and nails, and a hammer.
"Hello there Anonymous."
>You greet her back, and ask what the wood is for.
"It gets mighty cold out here at night. I thought we could patch up some of those trouble spots before Night rolls in. Can't have the new help getting sick before he actually starts working."
>True. Hate to get fired over a fucking cold.
>You nod, and hold open the door for her to enter, as you retrieve the supplies.
"My, my. This place is more run down than I first thought."
>She looks around, pressing against the wall a few times.
>You say you appreciate the shack. Things like this just need love.
"I-I see..."
>She looks down, as you start patching up open spots.
"You're the first to compliment my cooking Anonymous. Though we just met, you've said one of the nicest things to me. Did you mean it?"
>Wow. You just basically said her cooking is shit in the prettiest way possible.
>These horses are weird.
>Speaking of that cooking, it's made its way into your lower intestines, and there isn't a toilet in this shack.
>>25766161
Yes, you did mean it. Does she know how to cook anything else? you'd like to try it if so.
>>25766213
but I don't want Cloudy. I want Maud.
Are we aiming for the harem ending?
>>25766238
I thought I was just being polite+I want to eat something other then rock soup.
>>25766248
Harems are worst endings desu senpai. A real man only needs one waifu.
>>25766021
Are you trying to bang Limestone's mom?
>>25766238
>>25766248
>>25766283
Look. Just because she likes us, doesn't mean she wants the monkey cock. Getting her approval might help us other ways.
She's a married mare, she doesn't want our dick. We have a chance to make a friend on the farm.
>>25766342
>not dicking everyone and everything that moves
Its like you dont want to pass on your genetic code
>>25766379
>>25766342
Nigga. didn't you read how hard she was staring at us? She's clearly in a loveless marriage, and is falling for the first non-pony male she's seen in months who isn't associated with a farm.She wants to get love. Like Anon's shack
>>25766417
So shes a changling?
>>25766342
Like help us bang her daughters?
>>25766466
NIGGA. SHUSH NO CHANGELINGS
>>25766161
Ask her politely where is the bathroom
Also at some point let her know that youralso there for her if she needs somthing.
>>25766575
NO. Let's not lead her on!
Ask about her children. We need to find out why Limestone is a prick.
>>25766417
Let's not be the help that bangs the lonely housewife. Maud or Limestone would be better.Or both
>>25766871
This
The way our perception and charisma work out it feels like we can get away with a lot of bullshit.
So what are we gonna do?I'll draw lewd while you decide.
>>25766916
Not really. The way the rolls work is if your stat is above 6 you get two rolls. Above 8 you get three, and at ten you never fail. You just got super lucky with perception. The rolls have to reach five for most things, and 12 for harder ones. this one was just a simple 5 or higher.
Luck adds +1 after 5
>>25766213
This, also find out more about her wonderful family, after she finishes helping you ask about the nearest outhouse.
>>25766925
be friendly.
>>25766974
This. We really need to know why her children are the way they are (The bitch, the monotone, and the submissive).
>>25766925
Flirt with her. I'm sure she'll just go with it and know the boundary between the two of them. She's a grown mare who just wants to tease the fresh meat.
>>25767156
I'll give her fresh meat, unf
You fucking guys. I love you already. Let me look at the replies, and see if I can't combine them
>>25766342
>choose your own adventure
>Anon's choose to bang rock milf
>"Cmon it does not have to go that way."
>ANON'S CHOOSE TO BANG ROCK MILF
>>25767232
Fuck that, since we can go for everyone, let's go for the rock dilf.
>>25767331
>not going for Boulder instead
>>25767357
>Not inserting Boulder into her anus during sex.
Toppest Pleb.
>>25767232
Just because you're choosing which way you go, doesn't mean you can chose how they react,
>>25766161
>>25766213
>>25766575
>>25766871
>>25766974
>>25767024
>>25767146
>You claim that you did mean, and ask what else she specializes in.
"Oh ho ho ho ho~ I can do plenty of things! I just don't really get much of a chance to do anything different.."
>She smiles sadly.
>Might be a sore spot. Better change the subject.
>So you ask how it was raising her daughters.
>Cloudy puts up a board and starts hammering it in with her hoof.
>She's a tough one.
"Raising my daughters? That's an odd question."
>You say you're a pretty odd person.>You're Nicholas cage. You being odd is a fucking understatement
>She giggles.
"At first they seemed so different, but as the years passed they came into their own. That's all I can say on the matter."
>You remark that you're surprised they haven't left the nest yet.
"I never thought I would be looking after my little ponies after all this time."
>There was a little more than slight annoyance in that comment.
>She looks at you with a smile, attempting to defuse the situation.
"To be frank lad, I've yet to see another member of the opposite sex for quite some time...you are male right?"
>You flex, showing off your muscles.Strength check passed
>Her eyes widen.
"Impressive! Why you remind me of a young, strapping Igneous!"Cloudy Greatly Approves.
Cloudy tolerates you
>You remind her of a horse?
>You can't help but laugh.
"What's so funny?"
>You start hammering in another plank, and reply that you, and Igneous have almost nothing in common from your first impression, and Limestone hasn't said your name once.
>She puts up another board.
"Ah. Limestone. She's just afraid of you lad. She hasn't met anypony else outside of the farm, so she's trying to get your attention in her own way is all. She tried to show off her muscles to you, remember?"
>So that's her way of trying to impress you? Doubt it. She's just a cunt in your opinion.
1/
>>25766958
Yo, this should have been made clear before we picked out stats.
>>25767406
>You ask about Marble, and Maud.
"Marble is...She's the same as Limestone, but she needs to know you're safe to be around. She won't outright say it like Limestone, but she wants to get to know you also. As far as Maud goes, she's been outside the farm, so she's pretty indifferent to all strangers. You'd have to go a bit out of your way to find her interests."
>You narrow your eyes.>Did Cloudy just give you a strategy guide?
>You ask about her.
"Me? What about me?"
>You ask how she feels about strangers.
"We-well! I have an eye for somepony's good intentions, and you seem fine enough."
>She nails in the last plank, and stands back admiring her work.
"Looks like Cloudy still has it!"
>You applaud her good work, making the mare turn red.
"If you need any help finding anything on the farm boy, don't hesitate to ask! "Mama C" is always here."
>Mama C huh? Where did that name come from?
>She grins.
"I'll tell you some other time. Right now, it's getting close to nightfall. I better get back, before they start worrying about me."
>You nod, and open the door for her.
"I'll see you bright, and early tomorrow morning, with a delicious breakfast ready for you. Good night!"
>You bid her good night as well.
>A full moon is slowly rising up into the sky.
>Luna is getting set up.
>As Cloudy walks off, giving you a couple parting glances, you notice Marble around the corner of the house.
>You remember that creepy chick from Gantz who did the same thing.
>Should you say something to her?
>>25767481
Agreed. I neglected to mention it. My mistake
>>25767518
Say hello to her and ask her how she's doing.
>>25767518
Say hello and ask where's the nearest outhouse. We needed to go, right?
>>25767518
just nod at her. If we speak she's going to run, if we make any sudden moves ments she's going to run.
also, mama c?
>>25767518
Just wave to her. Don't say anything.
>>25767518
Don't move closer, let her be the one to aproach you when she's ready. But introduce yourself and ask how she's doing, make an effort to not press her too hard. Bid her goodnight once she pretends she's not there.
>>25767575
Oh yeah, that's a good idea.
>>25767584
>He didn't watch any of the recent season
>>25767518
>>25767553
>>25767575
>>25767616
>You hold up a hand and wave at her slowly.
>She squeaks, and hides around the corner, but peeks out slightly.Charisma check passed!
>You ask how she's doing, and if she can tell you where the outhouse is?
>She looks at you confused.
>Does she not know what an outhouse is?
>A grey hoof points to a dark, creepy looking structure towards the woods.
>Crows are perched on it, and you see various yellow eyes in the dark of the foilage.
>Well. That's terrifying as shit.
>Dropping ass isn't gonna be a problem in this case.
>Your anus closes up, as if it just ate a lemon.
>You thank Marble, and head back into your home, laying on the mattress.
(end the day)
(reflect on today's events)
>>25767589
This
>>25767859
Good progress. The only one that we haven't made any progress on is igneous
>>25767859
I think we could call it a day. We have to get up early.
>>25767859
Maud is pretty cold, though she had a nice smile.
Marble is cute but shy.
Limestone will take some time to get used to.
ingenious has been nice enough pretty old fashioned though.
cloudy is good.
When you think about it the three grey pie sisters represent Law, Neutral, and chaos.
>>25767968
Maud is cold? She's more indifferent. She's not disgusted by the cagemeister, but she's not exactly throwing the pussy at him either.
Marble is terrified of us, and I can only see it getting worse, as we're Nicholas Cage.
Limestone is more than likely to become our Tsundere love interest, if she can stop acting like Helga Pataki for a second.
Cloudy is just hungry for some attention, and something new.
Igneous is a closet gay I bet.
>>25767859
todays events were few but that's to be expected. We need figure out a strategy, and pray that RNJesus smiles kindly upon our path.
>>25768032
Ah, so what you're saying iswe should dick them all.
>>25768047
I think he meant "all of them will beg for our D".
We to get get on better terms with Igneous. It does us now good to be on bad terms with the boss man. The fact that Limestone is just afraid of us like Marble is interesting and we should keep it in mind.
>>25767859
End of day reportIgneous Rock Pie: Wary of you. Not sure what your goals, and aspirations are.
>Cloudy Quartz: Is interested in you, and wants to learn more about you if given the chance.
Marble Pie: Is unsure of you, but wants to cautiously learn more.Limestone Pie:[Unknown]
Current stats:
Strength: 7
Perception: 4
Endurance: 7
Charisma:7
Intelligence: 6
Agility: 5
Luck: 5
Name: Nicholas Cage
Age: 28
Current status: Ecstatic
(Proceed on to next day or redo stats? This is the last time you will get to redo them)
>>25768419
I think we can move on.
>>25768419
Let's move on, senpai
>>25768419
Move it on
>>25768419
move on , stats are good desu
>>25768419
I've only ever rerolled stats when I thought they were too high. let's just keep going
>>25768419
I'm happy with our stats.
>>25768419
Will there be opportunities to raise them? because if I'm understanding the system then right now we have a bunch of points doing nothing.
>>25768419Perception checked failed.
KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG KLANG-
"RISE, AND SHINE MAGGOT! YOUR WAKE UP CALL IS HEEEEERE!"
>Pure fear propels you into the ceiling from the rude awakening.
>You feel like Saitama.
"Hahaha! I'll give you this Diamond Doggie, you sure have hops!"
>You fall back to the mattress stunned, shocked, and fucking angry.
>Limestone leans over you with a smug grin.
"You mad?"Intelligence check failed
>YES!
>You grab the mare with mindless rage, and the two of you begin to wrestle around your shack.
"This is more like it! Let's go noodle arms! ERHN!"
>Despite her small size, she's quite agile-Agility check passed
>But you manage to slip out of her holds, and grapples like a pro.
"You're good freak! You might actually give me some hope!"
>She pins you down, placing her hooves on your wrists, pressing her plush body against yours.
"But, not much! Say uncle!"
>She narrows her eyes.
>You look from her to her positioning, and state the compromising position that she's put the two of you in.
"That's not gonna work freak. I'm not shy like Marble! You won't get me off that easy!"
>You mention that you see a Rock Rodent in the corner.
"WHAT?! EEEEK!"
>She starts to girlishly stampede in place while screaming,
>She's wide open, Time to attack!
>Attitude adjustment
>Back suplex
>Ass grab
>Laugh at her
back suplex
>>25768709
Back suplex to ass grab with attitude adjustment.
>>25768709
what is "attitude adjustment''? is that spanking her? because I'm voting for that.
>>25768760
No. One move only
>>25768772
back suplex
>>25768772
Then if the back suplex is an excuse to cuddle, then back suplex
>>25768766
>>25768792
>>25768820
huh. did not know that. alright i still vote for it.
I vote for an ass grab.
>>25768709
Laugh at her.
>>25768766are you new?
>>25768709
Attitude adjustment
>Not the pebbles elbow
back suplex
bumparoo
>All these idiots considering hurting the boss's daughter
Holy shit. This isn't even autism. it's just plain stupidity.
>>25769274
Limestone can take it and she won't tell anyone.
>>25768709
Atempt the suplex
>>25768709
>You decide to go for a back suplex.
>This is a horrible idea, but you're just too mad right now.
>You wrap your arms around the Mare's waist.
>This should seriously be done with some form of protection..
>Maybe if you're nimble enough you can keep her from getting hurt-Agility check failed
>Guess not.
>You lift the terrified pony up, into what you think is a perfect arc, and try to back suplex her like Brock lesnar.
>You got her up well enough, but your arc was far from perfect.
>Limestone flails around still panicked.>For the last time
SNAP.
>Your imperfect back suplex ends her in the blink of an eye.
"NO! MY BABY!"
>Igneous stands in the door in shock.
>You try to explain you didn't mean to hurt her, but it's too late.
>You were arrested, and tried as a citizen of Equestria for the murder of Limestone Pie.
>You should have really read those warnings not to try this at home.BAD END
Retry? (Y/N)
>>25769274
im sure she will like it , she seem like a rough one
>>25769477
oh shit
>>25769467
Retry.Ok, let's play it safe and just laugh at her. She may come back to get revenge later, but is better than not having her come back at all.
>>25769467
retry .
i vote for ass grab
>>25769467
Fine, fine. No violence. Just laugh.
>>25769519
yea laugh at her
>All these murderers
Way to go you sick fucks. Limestone died, because you had to play Brock fucking Lesner. Morons.
>>25769507
>seleccionar archivo
There's gotta be an easier way of writing "Browse"
>>25769467
No retry, we bust out of prison to finish the job.
>>25769586
Kill yourself
>>25769467
Christ almighty I laughed.
>>25769582
it could be "navegar"
i dont why it is like that
>>25769467
Now guys hear me out.
Maybe we should try the suplex again. Just to be sure.but really just laugh at her. Don't you realize violence is rarely a good thing?
>>25769467
I had a laugh m8
>>25769586
i second this
>>25769665
if we where better at agility we could have save it
>>25769754
true, but the same would be true if we weren't pretending this was superslam
ass grab guys let's get kinky
>>25769467
>>25769734
>>25769586
We need to take over the prison with missiles and chemical weapons.
>>25769866
I don't know dude. Think about it. We suplexed her and her dad walked in. so whats to say he won't walk in if you grab her ass?
>>25770034
true m8
>>25770034
l>>25770139
stare Ignatius in the eyes as you grab limestone's ass
>>25769467
Retry.
Just laugh as her this time.
>>25769467
Question do we have limited retries or each sucessufull command has some sort of auto-save function?
Also gotta grab dat ass
>>25770316
Laugh as her?
AS her?
...
I second this.
>>25770422
>tfw no sharing the minds of ponies
I wish those writefags finished their stories
>>25770444
>trips
Just laugh. If she attempts to tackle us after realising we tricked her, we could dodge it (agility).
She might just slam her face into the walls of the shack. We don't even need to touch her to hurt her.
>>25769467
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iyfdXZEqB4
>What a sight!
>Your sides ascend into the stratosphere, at Limestone squealing, and crying like some delicate flower.
>Limestone looks around after a quick bout of screaming, and glares at you.
"That's not funny! You're gonna pay for that!"
>You ask her if she's mad.
"YES!"
>She leaps into the air, screeching out loudly, prepared to fuc-
"What's going on here?!"
>Limestone freezes in mid-air, at the commanding tone of Igneous, who stands in the doorway with a piece of straw hanging from his mouth.
"I sent you here to wake the boy up, not attack him girl!"
>She frowns, still hovering in the sky as if through some unknown cartoon physics.
"He jumped me first though! This is self-defense!"
>Igneous gives her a harsh look.
"UUUUGH. Fine."
>She lands on the ground, and begins to leave.
"This isn't over meat sack. I'm gonna be all over you like Pinkie on sugar."Limestone Greatly approves
>You make a throat cutting expression at her.
>Igneous cocks an eye at you.
"Now if you're done flirting with my daughter, wash up and get ready for your first day farmhoof."Igneous disapproves
>Smooth move Cageman.
>Igneous leaves, as you sigh, and shake your head.
>You're making such a wonderful impression. That unemployment line is looking closer with each, and every second you spend here.
>No use dwelling on it now.
>You step outside, and bump into something.
>CAN A MAN HAVE ONE SECOND OF PEACE?!
>Whatever bumped into you hit the ground.
>That whatever turns out to be Marble Pie.
>The frightfully shy pony looks up at you with big eyes, with a towel, and bar of soap in her hooves.
>You ask if those are for you.
>Her lips tremble, and she throws them on the ground with tightly shut eyes, before bolting off in the opposite direction.
>That was...sorta nice of her.
>>25770664
lets not dodge it. maybe she's one of those tough grils who needs a softy.
>>25770702
Put stuff up and get yourlazy canasnova ass to work.
>>25770702
Pick up the towel and soap. Ask where you can wash up to the first pony you see. Start cleaning self.
>>25770702
That was part one I forgot to label it
Alright, a bath. But what's for breakfast?
>>25770813
hopefully not rock soup
>>25770821
rock cereal
>>25770702
Wrestling with Limestone needs to be a regular occurrence,
>>25770702
Wait a nigga, if Anon have 7 points of strength maybe he is a little bit /fit/ right? Let's make a show to the mares bby...
Before you enter to the bath take your shirt off and see the reactions.
>>25770766
What if it's Cloudy Quartz?
What if she offers tobath you herself?
>>25770884
I like you Anon...
>>25768419
Alright Anon's, we need to decide on a specialty for cage. We are going to decide on a build. ,ets pick 3 stats we want to focus on and rank them from most to least important.
Here's mine:
Charisma
Int
LuckRemember! 6 gives us two rolls, for every 5 in luck we get an extra point.
>>25771021
The fuck are you to be in charge all of a sudden?
>>25770884
Muhfukka didn't you read what she did at dinner? Bitch got popeye arms
>>25771039
I'm curious with how other anon's would like to focus on.
I feel like if we don't focus on something we'll get screwed over, royally.
What about perks? Are there any to choose from OP?
>>25770884
No, igneous is going to fucking fire us, and if that happens we have no chance at all. I say it's time to suck up to igneous.
>>25771097
I think all we have to do is a good job on farm work and then even if igneous doesn't like us he can't deny that we are useful and will keep us around and we can have a LITTLE bit of leeway.
>>25770702
>You pick up the slightly dusty bathing materials, and head to the water pump.
>Maud is already there again, and this time she doesn't have her frock-dress thingie on.
>It's kind of l-lewd.
>She pours a bucket of water over herself unflinchingly.
"...Brr."
>You cock an eyebrow, watching her.
>The stone cold mare looks at you through her soggy mane.
"Are you here to bathe also? We can bathe together."
>Oh Mai.
>You nearly jump at the chance to bathe with a ultra cool anarchist like Maud.
>But--
>Uh...
"Aren't you going to get undressed? You can't bathe with Clothes on."
>Marble watches you from around the corner.
>Are you seriously going to get naked here, and now?
(Yes)-Requires a super roll of all your stats. You can only fail two out of all of them
(No)-No one will make fun of you.QM gets the rights to belittle you for every shit choice or cowardly act for the rest of the game
>>25771081
You get them for things you do during the CYOA. Like eating rock stew without bitching out gets you the lead belly perk for instance.
Super roll all the way.
What's lifeif you can call this sad distance lifewithout risk?
>>25771153
WE DO IT!
Get naked.
>>25771153
YESare retrys still an option if we get fucked up?
I'll take the chance. If anyone of the pies ask, just brush it off, say that you genuinely just wanted to bath.
>>25771180
Said>>25771180
distance instead of existence.
Fuck.
>>25771153
Strength: 7
Perception: 4
Endurance: 7
Charisma:7
Intelligence: 6
Agility: 5
Luck: 5
I don't like them odds.
>>25771153
I know this will end badly for us. But let's do it anyway. Yes.
>>25771196
Sometimes you got to say fuck it and take that chance. What's the worst that can happen?
WE NAKED NOW
>>25771153
Just put on your shower shorts.
for the man who has nothing to hide. but still wants to
>>25771153
ABORT ABORT
>>25771196
Don't you want to impress Maud?
>>25771222
Who doesn't never nude?
please, Nick Cage, have a large cock.
>>25771153
Who is QM?
>>25771196
Right. there's a high chance we'll fail with at least three out of two
>>25771366
maybe luck is on our side?
>>25771270
>please, Nick Cage, have a large cock.
Never change, /mlp/. Never change.
>>25771270
>please, Nick Cage, have a large cock.
This.
kek
>>25766958
>>25771196
So assuming the required least amount is twelve
we would def pass strength unless we get shitty rolls, but we also have a +1 from luck.
We would def lose perception
Might pass end and chr
chance we could fail int but thats low too
We would fail agi most likely and lck.
>>25771407
IWTCINC
Op, plz hurry, I cannot take the stress
>>25771549
Are we gonna roll for nakedness?
>>25771560
Hell yeah
>>25771560
Yeah, it's kinda unanimous
>>25771560
Yeah. Roll for nakedness.
I hope Maud doesn't tell Igneous.
Roll results are as followed.
Least you have to get is a 12
Str: 13
Per:10
End: 12
Chr: 11
Int: 12
Agi: 7
Luck 6
YOU FAILED. Prepare to face the consequences
>>25771688
FUCK
>>25771688
ah man that's bullshit. 12 is way too hard.
>>25771652
Tell him what? That we were as naked as everyone else? Besides, what would you have a full body wash before work?
>>25771688
I told you fucks.
>>25771695
>>25771702
>>25771705
Told you so, nigga.
